Mission

Music Listings Jan 1-6, 2014

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WEDNESDAY 1
DANCE
1015 Folsom: 1015 Folsom St., San Francisco. “First Light,” w/ Odesza, Rising Appalachia, Russ Liquid, The Human Experience, jPod, Balance, more, 10 p.m., $15-$20.
BeatBox: 314 11th St., San Francisco. “Morning Glory,” w/ Steve Fabus, Sergio Fedasz, Taco Tuesday, Doc Sleep, Trevor Sigler, Robert Jeffrey, Robin Simmons, M*J*R (starts 4 a.m. Wednesday morning).
Cafe Cocomo: 650 Indiana, San Francisco. “Stompy + Sunset: New Year’s Day 2014,” w/ Solar, J-Bird, Galen, Deron, Tasho, Sweet P, more, 2 p.m., $10-$20.
Cat Club: 1190 Folsom, San Francisco. “Bondage A Go Go,” w/ DJs Damon, Tomas Diablo, & guests, 9:30 p.m., $5-$10.
F8: 1192 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Housepitality: New Year’s Day,” w/ Doc Martin, Heartthrob, Nikita, Atish, Brian Bejarano, Mossmoss, Benjamin Vallery, Ivan Ruiz, Dao & Pwny, Tyrel Williams, Sharon Buck, Fil Latorre, more, 6 a.m., $10-$25.
Mighty: 119 Utah, San Francisco. “Breakfast of Champions 2014,” New Year’s Day block party with Space Cowboys and guests, 6 a.m.-6 p.m., $25-$30.
Monarch: 101 6th St., San Francisco. “Honey Soundsystem + No Way Back New Year’s Day Disco,” w/ Hunee, Josh Cheon, Conor, P-Play, Robot Hustle, Solar, Jason Kendig, more, 6 a.m., $10-$20 advance.
Public Works: 161 Erie, San Francisco. “S.O.S.: Brass Tax Supper of Survivors V,” w/ JoeJoe, Ding Dong, Mace, Ernie Trevino, Haute Mess, Ethan Miller, Dao & Pwny, Dr. Whiskers, Marky Ray, 3 p.m., $5-$20.
Ruby Skye: 420 Mason, San Francisco. “Day 1,” w/ Carnage, Trevor Simpson, 9 p.m., $35-$40 advance.
Supperclub San Francisco: 657 Harrison, San Francisco. “Breakfast in Bed,” w/ DJs Dutch, Rooz, Didje Kelli, Alain Octavo, P-Dub, Cosmic Selector, UltraViolet, Jocelyn, WolfBitch, and Napsty (starts 4 a.m. Wednesday morning), $15 advance.
ACOUSTIC
Fiddler’s Green: 1333 Columbus, San Francisco. Terry Savastano, Every other Wednesday, 9:30 p.m., free/donation.
Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. Jeanie & Chuck’s Bluegrass Country Jam, First Wednesday of every month, 9 p.m., free.
JAZZ
Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. Gaucho, Eric Garland’s Jazz Session, The Amnesiacs, 7 p.m., free.
Chez Hanny: 1300 Silver, San Francisco. Dan Pratt Quartet, 4 p.m., $20 suggested donation.
Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Charles Unger Experience, 7:30 p.m., free.
Red Poppy Art House: 2698 Folsom, San Francisco. Adam Shulman Quintet, 7:30 p.m., $10-$15.
Revolution Cafe: 3248 22nd St., San Francisco. Michael Parsons Trio, Every other Wednesday, 8:30 p.m., free/donation.
Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Anne O’Brien, First Wednesday of every month, 7:30 p.m., free.
BLUES
Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Alvon Johnson, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $15.
FUNK
Tupelo: 1337 Green St., San Francisco. The Love Gangsters, 9 p.m.
SOUL
Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. Down North, 9:30 p.m., free.

THURSDAY 2
ROCK
Bottom of the Hill: 1233 17th St., San Francisco. Brother Grand, Pizza Friday, Avery Burke, 9 p.m., $10.
The Knockout: 3223 Mission, San Francisco. Terry Malts, Audacity, White Night, 10 p.m., $8.
Milk Bar: 1840 Haight, San Francisco. OnOff, Till I Fall, The Subtle Tease, Vvomen, 8:30 p.m., $6.
DANCE
Abbey Tavern: 4100 Geary, San Francisco. DJ Schrobi-Girl, 10 p.m., free.
Aunt Charlie’s Lounge: 133 Turk, San Francisco. “Tubesteak Connection,” w/ DJ Bus Station John, 9 p.m., $5-$7.
The Cafe: 2369 Market, San Francisco. “¡Pan Dulce!,” 9 p.m., $5.
Cat Club: 1190 Folsom, San Francisco. “Throwback Thursdays,” ‘80s night with DJs Damon, Steve Washington, Dangerous Dan, and guests, 9 p.m., $6 (free before 9:30 p.m.).
The Cellar: 685 Sutter, San Francisco. “XO,” w/ DJs Astro & Rose, 10 p.m., $5.
Club X: 715 Harrison, San Francisco. “The Crib,” 9:30 p.m., $10, 18+.
Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. “Afrolicious,” w/ DJs Pleasuremaker, Señor Oz, and live guests, 9:30 p.m., $5-$8.
F8: 1192 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Beat Church,” w/ Son of Kick, Djunya, Bogl, Octopod, Indaskyes, Diamond Crates, 10 p.m., $10.
Infusion Lounge: 124 Ellis, San Francisco. “I Love Thursdays,” 10 p.m., $10.
Lookout: 3600 16th St., San Francisco. “Fluff: A Queer Night of House,” w/ DJs Sissyslap & Dr. Sleep, First Thursday of every month, 9 p.m., $3.
Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “Night Fever,” 9 p.m., $5 after 10 p.m.
Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Throwback Thursday,” w/ DJ Jay-R, 9 p.m., free.
Raven: 1151 Folsom St., San Francisco. “1999,” w/ VJ Mark Andrus, 8 p.m., free.
The Tunnel Top: 601 Bush, San Francisco. “Tunneltop,” DJs Avalon and Derek ease you into the weekend with a cool and relaxed selection of tunes spun on vinyl, 10 p.m., free.
Underground SF: 424 Haight, San Francisco. “Bubble,” 10 p.m., free.
HIP-HOP
Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. “Vibes,” w/ DJ Kevvy Kev, 9 p.m., $5.
Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. Young Remedy, City P, hosted by Roach Gigz, 9 p.m., $10-$15.
Eastside West: 3154 Fillmore, San Francisco. “Throwback Thursdays,” w/ DJ Madison, 9 p.m., free.
John Colins: 138 Minna, San Francisco. “The Premiere,” video hip-hop party with VDJ T.D. Camp, First Thursday of every month, 9 p.m., $5.
Skylark Bar: 3089 16th St., San Francisco. “Peaches,” w/ lady DJs DeeAndroid, Lady Fingaz, That Girl, Umami, Inkfat, and Andre, 10 p.m., free.
ACOUSTIC
Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. Misisipi Mike & The Midnight Gamblers, First Thursday of every month, 9 p.m.
Bazaar Cafe: 5927 California, San Francisco. Acoustic Open Mic, 7 p.m.
Musicians Union Local 6: 116 Ninth St., San Francisco. San Francisco Singer-Songwriters’ Workshop, hosted by Robin Yukiko, First Thursday of every month, 6:30 p.m., $25 (free for AFM members).
Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. The Shannon Céilí Band, First Thursday of every month, 9 p.m., free.
JAZZ
Blush! Wine Bar: 476 Castro, San Francisco. Doug Martin’s Avatar Ensemble, 7:30 p.m., free.
Bottle Cap: 1707 Powell, San Francisco. The North Beach Sound with Ned Boynton, Jordan Samuels, and Tom Vickers, 7 p.m., free.
Cigar Bar & Grill: 850 Montgomery, San Francisco. Jimmy Grant Quartet, First Thursday of every month, 8 p.m., free.
Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Eugene Pliner Quartet with Tod Dickow, First and Third Thursday of every month, 7:30 p.m., free.
Le Colonial: 20 Cosmo, San Francisco. Steve Lucky & The Rhumba Bums, 7:30 p.m.
Savanna Jazz Club: 2937 Mission, San Francisco. Savanna Jazz Jam with Eddy Ramirez, 7:30 p.m., $5.
Top of the Mark: One Nob Hill, 999 California, San Francisco. Stompy Jones, 7:30 p.m., $10.
INTERNATIONAL
Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. “Pa’Lante!,” w/ Juan G, El Kool Kyle, Mr. Lucky, 10 p.m., $5.
Pachamama Restaurant: 1630 Powell, San Francisco. “Jueves Flamencos,” 8 p.m., free.
Sheba Piano Lounge: 1419 Fillmore, San Francisco. Gary Flores & Descarga Caliente, 8 p.m.
Verdi Club: 2424 Mariposa, San Francisco. The Verdi Club Milonga, w/ Christy Coté, DJ Emilio Flores, guests, 9 p.m., $10-$15.
REGGAE
Pissed Off Pete’s: 4528 Mission St., San Francisco. Reggae Thursdays, w/ resident DJ Jah Yzer, 9 p.m., free.
BLUES
50 Mason Social House: 50 Mason, San Francisco. Bill Phillippe, 5:30 p.m., free.
Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Lance Canales & The Flood, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $15.
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Chris Ford, First Thursday of every month, 4 p.m.
COUNTRY
Atlas Cafe: 3049 20th St., San Francisco. The Country Casanovas, 8 p.m., free.
The Parlor: 2801 Leavenworth, San Francisco. “Twang Honky Tonk & Country Jamboree,” w/ DJ Little Red Rodeo, 7 p.m., free.
EXPERIMENTAL
The Luggage Store: 1007 Market, San Francisco. The Ruminations, Matt Davignon & Dave Douglas Duo, 8 p.m., $6-$10.
SOUL
Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. Brian McKnight, 8 & 10 p.m., $50-$55.

FRIDAY 3
ROCK
50 Mason Social House: 50 Mason, San Francisco. Death Cheetah, 3 Leafs, Crash & Burn, Fever Witch, 8 p.m., $8.
Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. Naive Melodies, 9:30 p.m., $10-$15.
Bottom of the Hill: 1233 17th St., San Francisco. Sunrunners, The Bye Bye Blackbirds, The Real Numbers, 9:30 p.m., $10.
Hemlock Tavern: 1131 Polk, San Francisco. Beast Fiend, Sorrow Church, Neurotrash, 9 p.m., $6.
Neck of the Woods: 406 Clement St., San Francisco. Wes Fox & The Loons, Karl?, 1989, The Mighty Russian Winter, 8 p.m., $5-$8.
Rickshaw Stop: 155 Fell, San Francisco. Felsen, Brad Brooks, We Became Owls, 8 p.m., $10.
Slim’s: 333 11th St., San Francisco. Dedvolt, Secrets of the Sky, G2K, Almost Dead, 9 p.m., $14.
DANCE
1015 Folsom: 1015 Folsom St., San Francisco. Cut Chemist, Them Jeans, Birdee, DJ Alarm, DJ Platurn, Motion Potion, Matt Haze, DJ Dials, King Most, 9 p.m., free with RSVP.
Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. “Brass Tax,” w/ resident DJs JoeJoe, Ding Dong, Ernie Trevino, Mace, First Friday of every month, 10 p.m., $5.
Cafe Flore: 2298 Market, San Francisco. “Kinky Beats,” w/ DJ Sergio, 10 p.m., free.
The Cafe: 2369 Market, San Francisco. “Boy Bar,” w/ DJ Matt Consola, 9 p.m., $5.
Cat Club: 1190 Folsom, San Francisco. “Strangelove: Vampire Ball,” w/ DJs Tomas Diablo, Melting Girl, Sage, and Fact.50, 9:30 p.m., $7 ($3 before 10 p.m.).
The Cellar: 685 Sutter, San Francisco. “F.T.S.: For the Story,” 10 p.m.
Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. “Last Nite: A 2000s Indie Dance Party,” w/ DJs EmDee & Jamie Jams, 10 p.m., $5-$10.
The EndUp: 401 Sixth St., San Francisco. “Fever,” 10 p.m., free before midnight.
The Grand Nightclub: 520 4th St., San Francisco. “We Rock Fridays,” 9:30 p.m.
Infusion Lounge: 124 Ellis, San Francisco. “Escape Fridays,” 10 p.m., $20.
Lookout: 3600 16th St., San Francisco. “HYSL,” 9 p.m., $3.
Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “Dirty Rotten Dance Party,” w/ Kap10 Harris, Shane King, guests, First Friday of every month, 9 p.m., $5.
Manor West: 750 Harrison, San Francisco. “Fortune Fridays,” 10 p.m., free before 11 p.m. with RSVP.
MatrixFillmore: 3138 Fillmore, San Francisco. “F-Style Fridays,” w/ DJ Jared-F, 9 p.m.
Mezzanine: 444 Jessie, San Francisco. “Future Fridays: 2014 Kickoff,” w/ Alex Sibley, Manics, Eelrack, MPHD, 9 p.m., $15.
Mighty: 119 Utah, San Francisco. Steve Lawler, Ben Seagren, Dean Samaras, 10 p.m., $10-$15.
OMG: 43 6th St., San Francisco. “Release,” 9 p.m., free before 11 p.m.
Powerhouse: 1347 Folsom, San Francisco. “Nasty,” First Friday of every month, 10 p.m., $5.
Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Pump: Worq It Out Fridays,” w/ resident DJ Christopher B, 9 p.m., $3.
Ruby Skye: 420 Mason, San Francisco. Ben Gold, 9 p.m., $20 advance.
Slate Bar: 2925 16th St., San Francisco. “Haçeteria,” w/ resident DJs Jason P, Smac, Tristes Tropiques, and Nihar, First Friday of every month, 10 p.m., $5.
Underground SF: 424 Haight, San Francisco. “Bionic,” 10 p.m., $5.
Vessel: 85 Campton, San Francisco. Wild Boyz, David Paul, 10 p.m., $10-$30.
Wish: 1539 Folsom, San Francisco. “Bridge the Gap,” w/ resident DJ Don Kainoa, Fridays, 6-10 p.m., free; “Depth,” w/ resident DJs Sharon Buck & Greg Yuen, First Friday of every month, 10 p.m., free.
HIP-HOP
Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. “The 45 Sessions,” w/ DJs Platurn, Enki, Delgado, and Mr. E, 10 p.m., free.
EZ5: 682 Commercial, San Francisco. “Decompression,” Fridays, 5-9 p.m.
Nickies: 466 Haight, San Francisco. “First Fridays,” w/ The Whooligan & Dion Decibels, First Friday of every month, 11 p.m., free.
ACOUSTIC
Cafe Du Nord: 2170 Market, San Francisco. Goh Nakamura, Sea of Bees, Trevor Garrod, 9:30 p.m., $10.
Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. Delta City Ramblers, The Golden Cadillacs, Royal Jelly, 9 p.m., $8.
Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. Benjamin Brown, 9 p.m.
The Sports Basement: 610 Old Mason, San Francisco. “Breakfast with Enzo,” w/ Enzo Garcia, 10 a.m., $5.
St. Cyprian’s Episcopal Church: 2097 Turk, San Francisco. First Fridays Song Circle, First Friday of every month, 7 p.m., $5-$10.
JAZZ
Atlas Cafe: 3049 20th St., San Francisco. Jazz at the Atlas, 7:30 p.m., free.
Beach Chalet Brewery & Restaurant: 1000 Great Highway, San Francisco. Johnny Smith, 8 p.m., free.
Bird & Beckett: 653 Chenery, San Francisco. Don Prell’s SeaBop Ensemble, First Friday of every month, 5:30 p.m., free.
Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Charles Unger Experience, 7:30 p.m., free.
The Palace Hotel: 2 New Montgomery, San Francisco. The Klipptones, 8 p.m., free.
Savanna Jazz Club: 2937 Mission, San Francisco. Savanna Jazz Trio, 7 p.m., $8.
Top of the Mark: One Nob Hill, 999 California, San Francisco. Black Market Jazz Orchestra, 9 p.m., $10.
Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Joyce Grant, 8 p.m., free.
INTERNATIONAL
Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. “Paris-Dakar African Mix Coupe Decale,” 10 p.m., $5.
Cafe Cocomo: 650 Indiana, San Francisco. Taste Fridays, featuring local cuisine tastings, salsa bands, dance lessons, and more, 7:30 p.m., $15 (free entry to patio).
Pachamama Restaurant: 1630 Powell, San Francisco. Cuban Night with Fito Reinoso, 7:30 & 9:15 p.m., $15-$18.
Red Poppy Art House: 2698 Folsom, San Francisco. Avotcja & Modúpue, 7:30 p.m., $10-$15.
REGGAE
Gestalt Haus: 3159 16th St., San Francisco. “Music Like Dirt,” 7:30 p.m., free.
The Independent: 628 Divisadero, San Francisco. Anthony B, Rian Basillio & The Roosters, DJ Stepwise, 9 p.m., $25.
Showdown: 10 Sixth St., San Francisco. “How the West Was Won,” w/ Nowtime Sound, First Friday of every month, 10 p.m., free.
BLUES
Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Chris Cain, 7:30 & 10 p.m., $20.
Tupelo: 1337 Green St., San Francisco. Jinx Jones & The KingTones, First Friday of every month, 9 p.m.
EXPERIMENTAL
Z Below: 470 Florida St., San Francisco. San Francisco Tape Music Festival 2014, featuring works by Alexander Graham Bell, Steve Reich, Willem de Ridder and the Hafler Trio, the Voyager Golden Record, and more, 8 p.m., $8-$15 (or $35 for a festival pass).
FUNK
Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. Swoop Unit, First Friday of every month, 6 p.m., $3-$5.
Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. “Loose Joints,” w/ DJs Centipede, Damon Bell, and Tom Thump, 10 p.m., $5-$10.
SOUL
Edinburgh Castle: 950 Geary, San Francisco. “Soul Crush,” w/ DJ Serious Leisure, 10 p.m., free.
The Knockout: 3223 Mission, San Francisco. “Oldies Night,” w/ DJs Primo, Daniel, Lost Cat, friends, First Friday of every month, 10 p.m., $5.
Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. Brian McKnight, 8 & 10 p.m., $60-$65.

SATURDAY 4
ROCK
Bottom of the Hill: 1233 17th St., San Francisco. Benefit for Alan Forbes with Black Cobra, Lecherous Gaze, Pins of Light, Kicker, 9 p.m., $12+.
El Rio: 3158 Mission, San Francisco. OnOff, Cables & Arms, Till I Fall, 9 p.m., $8.
Hemlock Tavern: 1131 Polk, San Francisco. Fronds, Dim Peaks, Vestals, 9:30 p.m., $6.
The Lost Church: 65 Capp St., San Francisco. Be Brave Bold Robot, Pomegranate, 8 p.m., $10.
Neck of the Woods: 406 Clement St., San Francisco. Dogpatch, 1955, The Bat Rays, 8 p.m., $5-$8.
Rickshaw Stop: 155 Fell, San Francisco. The Yellow Dress, Quite Polite, Basement, Watercolor Paintings, 8 p.m., $10.
Slim’s: 333 11th St., San Francisco. This Charming Band, Zoo Station, Killer Queens, 9 p.m., $15-$20.
Sub-Mission Art Space (Balazo 18 Gallery): 2183 Mission, San Francisco. The Guverment, Another Tangent, The Shams Eire, The Butlers, 9 p.m., $10.
Thee Parkside: 1600 17th St., San Francisco. Great Apes, Void Boys, Travesura, Five Eyes, 9 p.m., $8.
DANCE
Audio Discotech: 316 11th St., San Francisco. Doorly, 9:30 p.m., $10 advance.
Cafe Flore: 2298 Market, San Francisco. “Bistrotheque,” w/ DJ Ken Vulsion, 8 p.m., free.
Cat Club: 1190 Folsom, San Francisco. “Leisure,” w/ DJs Aaron, Omar, & Jetset James, First Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., $7.
DNA Lounge: 375 11th St., San Francisco. “Bootie S.F.,” w/ DJs Tripp, Entyme, Fox, Kool Karlo, Medic, Tannhäuser Gate, Starr, and more, 9 p.m., $10-$15.
The EndUp: 401 Sixth St., San Francisco. “Play: The Locals Edition,” w/ Bai-ee, Craig Kuna, Dan Sherman, Jackie House, Jason Kendig, Mossmoss, Mozaic, Nikita, Tyrel Williams, more, 10 p.m., $15-$20 (free before 11 p.m.).
The Independent: 628 Divisadero, San Francisco. NVO, Materialized, Zebuel, 9 p.m., $10.
Infusion Lounge: 124 Ellis, San Francisco. “Volume,” First Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., $10-$20.
The Knockout: 3223 Mission, San Francisco. “Debaser,” w/ resident DJs EmDee, Jamie Jams, and Stab Master Arson, First Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., $5 (free before 11 p.m. if wearing flannel).
Lookout: 3600 16th St., San Francisco. “Bounce!,” 9 p.m., $3.
Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “The Prince & Michael Experience,” w/ DJs Dave Paul & Jeff Harris, First Saturday of every month, 9 p.m., $5.
Mighty: 119 Utah, San Francisco. “Deep Blue: 12th Annual Capricorn Party,” w/ Mark Farina, David Harness, DJ Rooz, Dax Lee, Buckner, Ken Minn, Josh Vincent, 9 p.m., $12-$15 advance.
Monarch: 101 6th St., San Francisco. “Lights Down Low,” w/ Brenmar, 10 p.m., $10-$15.
Public Works: 161 Erie, San Francisco. “Odyssey,” w/ DJ Severino, Robert Jeffrey, Robin Simmons (in the OddJob loft), 9:30 p.m., $10.
The Stud: 399 Ninth St., San Francisco. “Go Bang!,” w/ DJs Michael Serafini, Jeremy Rosebrook, Steve Fabus, and Sergio Fedasz, 9 p.m., $7 (free before 10 p.m.).
Vessel: 85 Campton, San Francisco. “Swank,” w/ Pheeko Dubfunk, Nile, Reggie Soares, Lorentzo, 10 p.m., $10-$30.
HIP-HOP
Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. SolGanix, Aisha Fukushima & Raptivism, Power Struggle, DJ Gordo Cabeza, 9 p.m., $7-$10.
Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. Telli Prego, Peter Feliciano, Onewerd, BP & Praduh, Sean Dick, 9 p.m., $8.
John Colins: 138 Minna, San Francisco. “N.E.W.: Never Ending Weekend,” w/ DJ Jerry Ross, First Saturday of every month, 9 p.m., free before 11 p.m.
Milk Bar: 1840 Haight, San Francisco. No Bird Sing, Eliquate, Louder Space, Rebel Allianz, 9 p.m., $10.
Slate Bar: 2925 16th St., San Francisco. “Touchy Feely,” w/ The Wild N Krazy Kids, First Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., $5 (free before 11 p.m.).
ACOUSTIC
Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. The Gilded Rooks, Pony Hunt, Sam Doores, 9 p.m., $7-$10.
Atlas Cafe: 3049 20th St., San Francisco. Craig Ventresco and/or Meredith Axelrod, Saturdays, 4-6 p.m., free.
Bazaar Cafe: 5927 California, San Francisco. Mark Comstock, Wesley Woo, Chinese Melodrama, 7 p.m.
Cafe Du Nord: 2170 Market, San Francisco. Fleeting Trance, Erin Brazill & The Brazillionaires, Miss Erma, 9:30 p.m., $8.
The Chapel: 777 Valencia St., San Francisco. Vaud & The Villains, 9 p.m., $20-$22.
Revolution Cafe: 3248 22nd St., San Francisco. Seth Augustus, First Saturday of every month, 9 p.m., free/donation.
St. Cyprian’s Episcopal Church: 2097 Turk, San Francisco. Ramblin’ Jack Elliott, Vikki Lee, 8 p.m., $22-$25.
Tupelo: 1337 Green St., San Francisco. Shantytown, 9:30 p.m.
JAZZ
Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Bill “Doc” Webster & Jazz Nostalgia, 7:30 p.m., free.
Savanna Jazz Club: 2937 Mission, San Francisco. Savanna Jazz Trio, 7 p.m., $8.
Sheba Piano Lounge: 1419 Fillmore, San Francisco. The Robert Stewart Experience, 9 p.m.
INTERNATIONAL
1015 Folsom: 1015 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Pura,” 9 p.m., $20.
Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. “Paris-Dakar African Mix Coupe Decale,” 10 p.m., $5.
Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. “El SuperRitmo,” w/ DJs Roger Mas & El Kool Kyle, 10 p.m., $5 before 11 p.m.
Pachamama Restaurant: 1630 Powell, San Francisco. Eddy Navia & Pachamama Band, 8 p.m., free.
Space 550: 550 Barneveld, San Francisco. “Club Fuego,” 9:30 p.m.
BLUES
Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Paula Harris, 7:30 & 10 p.m., $20.
The Riptide: 3639 Taraval, San Francisco. Face the Giant, 9:30 p.m., free.
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Daniel Castro, First Saturday of every month, 9:30 p.m.
AMERICANA
Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. “Americana Jukebox,” First Saturday of every month, 9 p.m., $6-$10.
EXPERIMENTAL
Center for New Music: 55 Taylor St., San Francisco. duo B, 7:30 p.m., $8-$10.
Z Below: 470 Florida St., San Francisco. San Francisco Tape Music Festival 2014, featuring works by Thomas Edison, Iannis Xenakis, Kotoka Suzuki, Peter Batchelor, Matt Ingalls, Jacob Felix Heule, and more, 7 & 9:30 p.m., $8-$15 (or $35 for a festival pass).
FUNK
Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. Kuckaw!, Cliff Hines & G. Maxwell Zemanovic Duo, DJ K-Os, 9:30 p.m., $10 advance.
SOUL
El Rio: 3158 Mission, San Francisco. “Hard French,” w/ DJs Carnita & Brown Amy, First Saturday of every month, 2 p.m., $7.
Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. “Saturday Night Soul Party,” w/ DJs Lucky, Phengren Oswald, & Paul Paul, First Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., $10 ($5 in formal attire).
Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. Brian McKnight, 8 & 10 p.m., $60-$65.

SUNDAY 5
ROCK
Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. OnOff, The Subtle Tease, Build the Empire, 8 p.m., $7.
DANCE
Beaux: 2344 Market, San Francisco. “Full of Grace: A Weekly House Music Playground,” 9 p.m., free.
The Cellar: 685 Sutter, San Francisco. “Replay Sundays,” 9 p.m., free.
The Edge: 4149 18th St., San Francisco. “’80s at 8,” w/ DJ MC2, 8 p.m.
Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. “Dub Mission,” w/ Jah Yzer, DJ Sep, Maneesh the Twister, 9 p.m., $6 (free before 9:30 p.m.).
The EndUp: 401 Sixth St., San Francisco. “T.Dance,” 6 a.m.-6 p.m.; “Sunday Sessions,” 8 p.m.; “BoomBox,” First Sunday of every month, 8 p.m.
F8: 1192 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Stamina,” w/ DJs Lukeino, Jamal, and guests, 10 p.m., free.
The Knockout: 3223 Mission, San Francisco. “Sweater Funk,” 10 p.m., free.
Lookout: 3600 16th St., San Francisco. “Jock,” Sundays, 3-8 p.m., $2.
MatrixFillmore: 3138 Fillmore, San Francisco. “Bounce,” w/ DJ Just, 10 p.m.
Otis: 25 Maiden, San Francisco. “What’s the Werd?,” w/ resident DJs Nick Williams, Kevin Knapp, Maxwell Dub, and guests, 9 p.m., $5 (free before 11 p.m.).
The Parlor: 2801 Leavenworth, San Francisco. DJ Marc deVasconcelos, 10 p.m., free.
Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Gigante,” 8 p.m., free.
HIP-HOP
Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. “Return of the Cypher,” 9:30 p.m., free.
Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. NhT Boyz, C-Plus, Street Knowledge, ST Spittin, Nick Jame$, F.L.I.P, City Shawn, Spittin Image, DJ Cos the Kid, 9 p.m., $7-$10.
El Rio: 3158 Mission, San Francisco. “Swagger Like Us,” First Sunday of every month, 3 p.m.
Skylark Bar: 3089 16th St., San Francisco. “Shooz,” w/ DJ Raymundo & guests, First Sunday of every month, 10 p.m., free.
ACOUSTIC
The Lost Church: 65 Capp St., San Francisco. Peter Chung, Adventure Book, 8 p.m., $10.
The Lucky Horseshoe: 453 Cortland, San Francisco. Bernal Mountain Bluegrass Jam, 4 p.m., free.
Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “Spike’s Mic Night,” Sundays, 4-8 p.m., free.
Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. Seisiún with Ciersdan Marsden, 9 p.m.
St. Luke’s Episcopal Church: 1755 Clay, San Francisco. “Sunday Night Mic,” w/ Roem Baur, 5 p.m., free.
JAZZ
Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. Kally Price Old Blues & Jazz Band, First Sunday of every month, 9 p.m., $7-$10.
Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Bill “Doc” Webster & Jazz Nostalgia, 7:30 p.m., free.
Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “Sunday Sessions,” 10 p.m., free.
Revolution Cafe: 3248 22nd St., San Francisco. Jazz Revolution, 4 p.m., free/donation.
The Royal Cuckoo: 3202 Mission, San Francisco. Lavay Smith & Chris Siebert, 7:30 p.m., free.
Tupelo: 1337 Green St., San Francisco. The Joe Cohen Show, 9 p.m.
INTERNATIONAL
Atmosphere: 447 Broadway, San Francisco. “Hot Bachata Nights,” w/ DJ El Guapo, 5:30 p.m., $10 ($18-$25 with dance lessons).
Balancoire: 2565 Mission St., San Francisco. “Tardeadas Tropicales,” 3 p.m.
Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. “Brazil & Beyond,” 6:30 p.m., free.
Thirsty Bear Brewing Company: 661 Howard, San Francisco. “The Flamenco Room,” 7:30 & 8:30 p.m.
BLUES
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Blues Power, 4 p.m.
Sheba Piano Lounge: 1419 Fillmore, San Francisco. Bohemian Knuckleboogie, 8 p.m., free.
Swig: 571 Geary, San Francisco. Sunday Blues Jam with Ed Ivey, 9 p.m.
COUNTRY
The Riptide: 3639 Taraval, San Francisco. “The Hootenanny West Side Revue,” First Sunday of every month, 7:30 p.m., free.
EXPERIMENTAL
Z Below: 470 Florida St., San Francisco. San Francisco Tape Music Festival 2014, featuring works by Alexander Graham Bell, François Bayle, Jonty Harrison, Elanie Lillios, Stijn Govaere, and more, 7 p.m., $8-$15 (or $35 for a festival pass).
SOUL
Delirium Cocktails: 3139 16th St., San Francisco. “Heart & Soul,” w/ DJ Lovely Lesage, 10 p.m., free.
Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. Brian McKnight, 7 & 9 p.m., $50-$55.

MONDAY 6
ROCK
Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. “Americalia,” w/ Mark Matos & guests, 9 p.m. Starts . continues through Jan. 27, $7.
DANCE
DNA Lounge: 375 11th St., San Francisco. “Death Guild,” 18+ dance party with DJs Decay, Joe Radio, Melting Girl, & guests, 9:30 p.m., $3-$5.
Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Wanted,” w/ DJs Key&Kite and Richie Panic, 9 p.m., free.
Underground SF: 424 Haight, San Francisco. “Vienetta Discotheque,” w/ DJs Stanley Frank and Robert Jeffrey, 10 p.m., free.
ACOUSTIC
Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. Front Country, First Monday of every month, 9 p.m., free.
The Chieftain: 198 Fifth St., San Francisco. The Wrenboys, 7 p.m., free.
Fiddler’s Green: 1333 Columbus, San Francisco. Terry Savastano, 9:30 p.m., free/donation.
Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. Open Mic with Brendan Getzell, 8 p.m., free.
Osteria: 3277 Sacramento, San Francisco. “Acoustic Bistro,” 7 p.m., free.
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Peter Lindman, 4 p.m.
JAZZ
Cafe Divine: 1600 Stockton, San Francisco. Rob Reich, First and Third Monday of every month, 7 p.m.
Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Eugene Pliner Quartet with Tod Dickow, 7:30 p.m., free.
Le Colonial: 20 Cosmo, San Francisco. Le Jazz Hot, 7 p.m., free.
Sheba Piano Lounge: 1419 Fillmore, San Francisco. City Jazz Instrumental Jam Session, 8 p.m.
The Union Room at Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. The Session: A Monday Night Jazz Series, pro jazz jam with Mike Olmos, 7:30 p.m., $12.
REGGAE
Skylark Bar: 3089 16th St., San Francisco. “Skylarking,” w/ I&I Vibration, 10 p.m., free.
BLUES
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. The Bachelors, 9:30 p.m.
EXPERIMENTAL
Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. “The Monday Makeout,” w/ Denny Denny Breakfast, duo B vs. Noah Phillips, Eric Glick Rieman, 8 p.m., free.
SOUL
Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “M.O.M. (Motown on Mondays),” w/ DJ Gordo Cabeza & Timoteo Gigante, 8 p.m., free.

TUESDAY 7
ROCK
Bottom of the Hill: 1233 17th St., San Francisco. Wander, Balms, Airs, 9 p.m., $8.
The Chapel: 777 Valencia St., San Francisco. Califone, The Luyas, 8 p.m., $16.
Hemlock Tavern: 1131 Polk, San Francisco. Scraper, Mane, Warm White, Tears Club, 8:30 p.m., $6.
Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. Steff & The Articles, Linus of Hollywood, Kelly Jones, 8 p.m., $10.
The Knockout: 3223 Mission, San Francisco. Mad Mama & The Bona Fide Few, Swamp Angel, Lester T. Raww’s Graveside Quartet, DJ Ryan Smith, 9:30 p.m., $7.
Rickshaw Stop: 155 Fell, San Francisco. Rickshaw Stop 10th Anniversary: The Spits, Violent Change, Crez DeeDee, 8 p.m., $15.
DANCE
Aunt Charlie’s Lounge: 133 Turk, San Francisco. “High Fantasy,” w/ DJ Viv, Myles Cooper, & guests, 10 p.m., $2.
Laszlo: 2532 Mission, San Francisco. “Beards of a Feather,” Enjoy classy house records, obscuro disco, and laid-back late-’80s jams with DJ Ash Williams and guests, First Tuesday of every month, 9 p.m., free.
Monarch: 101 6th St., San Francisco. “Soundpieces,” 10 p.m., free-$10.
Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Switch,” w/ DJs Jenna Riot & Andre, 9 p.m., $3.
Underground SF: 424 Haight, San Francisco. “Shelter,” 10 p.m., free.
Wish: 1539 Folsom, San Francisco. “Tight,” w/ resident DJs Michael May & Lito, 8 p.m., free.
ACOUSTIC
Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. Farallons, Mariee Sioux, Soft Shells, 9:15 p.m., $7.
Bazaar Cafe: 5927 California, San Francisco. Songwriter in Residence: Tom Rhodes, 7 p.m. Starts . continues through Jan. 28.
Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. Seisiún with Suzanne Cronin, 9 p.m.
JAZZ
Beach Chalet Brewery & Restaurant: 1000 Great Highway, San Francisco. Gerry Grosz Jazz Jam, 7 p.m.
Blush! Wine Bar: 476 Castro, San Francisco. Kally Price & Rob Reich, 7 p.m., free.
Burritt Room: 417 Stockton St., San Francisco. Terry Disley’s Rocking Jazz Trio, 6 p.m., free.
Cafe Divine: 1600 Stockton, San Francisco. Chris Amberger, 7 p.m.
Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Clifford Lamb, Mel Butts, and Friends, 7:30 p.m., free.
Le Colonial: 20 Cosmo, San Francisco. Lavay Smith & Her Red Hot Skillet Lickers, 7 p.m.
Revolution Cafe: 3248 22nd St., San Francisco. West Side Jazz Club, 5 p.m., free; Conscious Contact, First Tuesday of every month, 8 p.m., free.
Tupelo: 1337 Green St., San Francisco. Mal Sharpe’s Big Money in Jazz Band, 6 p.m.
Verdi Club: 2424 Mariposa, San Francisco. “Tuesday Night Jump,” w/ Stompy Jones, 9 p.m., $10-$12.
Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. Tommy Igoe Big Band, 8 p.m., $22.
INTERNATIONAL
Cafe Cocomo: 650 Indiana, San Francisco. “Descarga S.F.,” w/ DJs Hong & Good Sho, 8 p.m., $12.
The Cosmo Bar & Lounge: 440 Broadway, San Francisco. “Conga Tuesdays,” 8 p.m., $7-$10.
F8: 1192 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Underground Nomads,” w/ rotating resident DJs Amar, Sep, and Dulce Vita, plus guests, 9 p.m., $5 (free before 9:30 p.m.).
REGGAE
Milk Bar: 1840 Haight, San Francisco. “Bless Up,” w/ Jah Warrior Shelter Hi-Fi, 10 p.m.
BLUES
Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Ron Thompson & The Resistors, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $15.
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Lisa Kindred, First Tuesday of every month, 9:30 p.m., free.
EXPERIMENTAL
Center for New Music: 55 Taylor St., San Francisco. sfSoundSalonSeries, w/ Chris Newman, 7:49 p.m., $7-$10.
FUNK
Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “Boogaloo Tuesday,” w/ Oscar Myers & Steppin’, 9:30 p.m., free.
SOUL
Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. Soul Mechanix, 9:30 p.m., free.
Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. “Lost & Found,” w/ DJs Primo, Lucky, and guests, 9:30 p.m., free.

Starving in a boom

3

On the day before Christmas Eve, a line of hungry San Franciscans winds its way to the second floor of the Women’s Building on 18th Street. There, in a sunlit room, people take their pick of free food: fresh fruit, chicken, canned goods and pasta. This pantry is one of over 200 in the city supplied by the San Francisco and Marin Food Banks.

Acacia Woods-Chen, the pantry’s coordinator, calls off enrollment numbers in broken Cantonese and Spanish as she directs them to the needed sustenance.

Most of the clients are elderly, and one woman said she’s lived in the Mission 50 years. Yet she is facing eviction from her Mission District apartment.

“My income is very low, I don’t even make the rent,” she told us.

A new report, from the city’s Food Security Task Force, found that 19,000 seniors in San Francisco struggle to afford groceries. Many of qualify for Supplemental Security Income benefits, or SSI, yet are ineligible for federally supplied food stamps.

hungerinfographicThe problem goes beyond seniors. The report found that one in four San Franciscans lacks sufficient resources to purchase nutritious food, causing many to turn to food pantries for assistance.

Those pantries are now well beyond their capacity, Food Bank representatives told us, and the system is bursting at the seams.

Awareness of the problem is growing. On Dec. 10, the Board of Supervisors approved a resolution to end hunger and food insecurity in San Francisco by 2020.

“It is unacceptable that in one of the richest cities on earth, so many of our fellow residents should have to go to bed hungry or worried about their children’s nutrition every day,” said District 1 Sup. Eric Mar, who authored the resolution.

It calls on bringing together disparate city agencies, from the Planning Department to those tasked with aiding youth, seniors, and the homeless, to collaborate on addressing San Francisco’s hunger problem.

Just 14 percent of those who face food insecurity are homeless, the report found. Many are actually low-income people who have jobs, but cannot always put food on the table.

Food insecurity isn’t just about hunger, according to the task force’s report, but also manifests as struggling consumers buy only cheaper and nutritionally inadequate food, or ration meals.

Mar’s resolution calls for the creation of a workgroup that will be tasked with, among other things, finding ways to solicit greater enrollment in California’s federally backed food safety net program.

“The biggest opportunity by far, casting a shadow over everything we do, is to get everyone who’s qualified for the SNAP program signed up,” said Paul Ash, executive director of the Food Bank.

SNAP is the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, administered under the name CalFresh in California. It’s more commonly known as food stamps.

Less commonly known is that California has the lowest enrollment rate for SNAP in the entire United States, according to federal data. A report by California Food Policy Advocates, titled “Lost Dollars, Empty Plates,” cast this as an economic loss as well. San Francisco is losing $129 million per year in lost economic activity due to low participation, the advocacy organization found.

In San Francisco, an estimated 84,000 people are eligible for CalFresh — yet only about half as many are enrolled.

Boosting CalFresh enrollment is no easy task.

Liliana Sandoval, CalFresh outreach program manager at the Food Bank, spends her days recruiting enrollees at farmer’s markets and homeless shelters. “A lot of our work is myth busting, educating, and finding people who would never go to a county office to ask for assistance — even if they desperately need it,” she told the Guardian.

In the meantime, the problem of feeding San Francisco persists.

“Compared to other food banks in the nation, we’re at the top,” Ash said, referencing the volume of food it distributes to the hungry. “But you can’t give yourself an A when there are thousands of people who need help who don’t get it.”

And if everyone eligible for CalFresh were enrolled, would the city be on its way to tackling hunger?

“We’d be pretty darn close,” Ash said.

To volunteer with the San Francisco and Marin Food Bank, visit www.sffoodbank.org. The holiday brings an influx of help to food pantries, but they experience a dramatic drop off in January and February — and could use more help then.

The Performant: Epochalypse Now

6

Embracing the great unknown
 
While it could be argued that every day represents a new year, with each date falling exactly one year after the last, like unconscious clockwork, there’s something comforting in the ritual of observing the change in calendar year en masse. A time to take accounts, and make new goals. A time of psychic housekeeping: ridding oneself of the spiritual and mental detritus of the past, in order to make space for a future as yet undefined.

All of which is on my mind as I prepare to bang out my last Performant, at least for the time being. During the last three-and-a-half years I’ve witnessed hundreds of performances, featuring thousands of performers, in venues large and small, each one a brief, incandescent flame feeding into a bonfire of epic creativity. House concerts, punk shows, spoken word, street festivals, performance art meditations, live comedy, high drag camp, amateur wrestling competitions, robot soccer, battle rap, obscure cinema, alternative dance, home theater, and circus arts have all found a place in the Performant, proving, I hope, that just as borders geographical and psychological can be transcended, so too can artistic ones.

But, point proven, the Performant is going to take a bit of a break to focus on some other projects I’ve been neglecting. Avoiding, really. But I’ll still be out there, an ever-appreciative oddience of one, reveling in our infinity of scenes, influences, disciplines. As a parting gift, here’re a few recommendations I can make for our collective new beginning. It’s been an honor to Performant for you.
 
1) Godwaffle Noise Pancakes: Do you like Noise? Do you like vegan pancakes? Do you like The Lab? Duh, yes, of course you do. Usually Sundays, usually from noon-2pm, usually at The Lab, except when it’s not. By far the best-sounding brunch spot in the Mission, and no line!
 
2) Saturday Write Fever: It’s like a playwriting bootcamp for the broke-ass camp, this monthly event held in the café of the EXIT Theatre brings together budding monologists — writers and actors both — for an evening of spontaneous writing and seat-of-your-pants performance. Writers have 30 minutes to prepare a new piece, riffing off a common theme, and then each mini-script gets a quicky performance treatment by members of the oddience. It’s free, it’s fresh, it’s fearless, and frankly, it sounds like a hell of a lot of fun.
 
3) The Cynic Cave: Actually, it would hardly matter what “the Cynic Cave” was, I’d have to go for its name alone. But the fact that it’s a literally underground comedy club ensconced in the basement of my fave local video store, Lost Weekend, makes it a total win. Hosted by George Chen and Kevin O’Shea, the Cave has quietly hosted some of the Bay Area’s funniest humans for just $10 a pop since 2012.
 
4) Boxcar Theatre’s Speakeasy: Boxcar Theatre has always had a knack for thinking outside of the (black) box, and this totally immersive, three-and-a-half hour-long performance sounds like their most enterprising yet. Like Punchdrunk’s Sleep No More, the interactive show promises to be different for each individual participant, a self-directed foray into the seedy underbelly of a 1920’s Speakeasy, populated by showgirls, war veterans, blackjack dealers, and bootleggers, each of whom has a story arc which can be followed to its end, or abandoned halfway through in favor of another. In short, prepare to go a couple of times to get a real sense of what’s going on, and don’t be shy about eavesdropping. Or playing a round of roulette.
 
Honorable mentions: Katabatik, Ask Dr. Hal, Undercover Presents, DJ Purple Dance Karaoke, Playland Not-at-the-Beach, Shaping San Francisco Public Talks

No decision yet following charged hearing to stall City College closure

35

At a Dec. 26 hearing in San Francisco Superior Court, the City Attorney’s office argued that City College of San Francisco should not be shuttered, as long as San Francisco’s lawsuit against a regional accrediting commission remains in court.

The two-year community college, which serves roughly 85,000 students, was notified earlier this year that the regional Accreditin​g Commission for Community and Junior Colleges would terminate its accreditat​ion in July 2014, rendering the school’s degrees worthless.

It would be forced to close.

In August, City Attorney Dennis Herrera filed suit against the ACCJC, alleging the closure action was improper, unwarranted, and out of line with the agency’s prior actions. 

At yesterday’s court hearing, litigators from Herrera’s office argued for a preliminary injunction against ACCJC, to keep the college open at least for the duration of the court proceedings.

Stop, halt, cease, desist. That was the City Attorney’s goal yesterday: keep City College open until the case is decided.

While yesterday’s hearing was focused on the injunction, the substance of Herrera’s complaint against the ACCJC — alleging that its members were acting improperly as advocates for greater austerity, among other things — came into play many times.

The litigators argued from morning till late afternoon, taking only brief recesses. While Judge Curtis Karnow subjected viewpoints from both sides to microscopic examination, there was no decision by the end.

It’s not yet known when Karnow will issue a ruling. 

“Judge Karnow did not rule from the bench, he issued no tentative order, and he gave no indication of how he intends to rule before concluding today’s hearing,” City Attorney spokesperson Matt Dorsey noted in a statement following the hearing.

In the meantime, a few statements made in court could shed light onto the outcome. We’ve highlighted a few of them below, along with some key questions.

Attorneys Phillip Ward and Andrew Sclar represented the ACCJC, in opposition to Deputy City Attorney Sara Eisenberg and labor lawyer Robert Bezemek, who appeared on behalf of the California Federation of Teachers.

We thought we’d present the case a bit differently, and give background to some of the main arguments and then write the main arguments attorneys made to address them. Each argument is prefaced first, and links are provided for further reading:

1. Herrera’s suit alleges that ACCJC commissioners acted improperly as advocates. That would mean they not only went beyond their role as objective accreditors, but sought to advance a political agenda against CCSF’s inclusive approach to higher education. They address that here.

Judge Curtis Karnow: All of those expression of political views, if you will, by either the staff or the commission itself, are being cited as the “true agenda” that they’re trying to unmask.

ACCJC counsel Philip Ward: There are problems, big problems, at City College of San Francisco…. all of those problems are the product of the so called “open access” mission and the new educational priorities that they’re saying are being shoved down CCSF’s throat.

Innuendo, character assassination … shows us that is what’s being targeted by the plaintiffs allegations.

City College has been kicking the can down the road for six years.

2. Herrera’s motion for an injunction argues that, even as the case is being decided, the school will suffer harm in the interim. How would this injunction soften the blow?

Judge Curtis Karnow: The real thrust of the motion seems to be that the uncertainty has generated behavior by faculty [and] students to depart, and this all stems from uncertainty harm.

When did this uncertainty harm start? How will the actions of this court affect anything? If there’s another hearing in July, won’t there be more uncertainty, even if I issue an injunction?

CFT counsel Robert Bezemek: Declarations filed show that there have already been instances that harm has already been felt. 

For example, (City College’s) radiology program is top in the nation above John Hopkins University. They’ve been given an execution date, everyone knows that. There’s an order to remove the college’s accreditation in July 31. When it got that order, students started to leave the college in droves. 

Deputy City Attorney Sara Eisenberg: We’re asking, your honor, right now for something that won’t happen until further down the road… but there’s real harm happening right now. Latest numbers show enrollment is down 27 percent.

3. Can the ACCJC base its decision to close City College on fiscal issues, rather than educational shortcomings?

CFT counsel Bezemek: We do not deny that they have financial issues… the quality of education is what they’re here (the ACCJC) to measure. But you have to find that the harm from the financial issues warrants shutting the school down the only community college in San Francisco. That it is the fundamental part of accreditation. 

Judge Karnow: So your position is that no matter what bad things the college has done, the commission can’t withdraw its accreditation?

CFT counsel Bezemek: No, we’re saying they have to show substantial evidence. 

(The ACCJC’s) ‘internal review’ is a joke. An injunction would provide huge relief.

accjc counsel

Counsel for the Accrediting Commission for Community and Junior Colleges, Andrew Sclar and Philip Ward, confer during a break at a preliminary injunction hearing regarding City College of San Francisco on Dec. 26, 2013. Photo by Sara Bloomberg

4. Is it within the ACCJC’s power to delay City College’s closure?

Judge Karnow: What if we just dropped the process now? 

ACCJC counsel Sclar: There certainly would be harm to us. If we do not enforce sanctions or bring a non compliant institution into compliance within a two year period, we would be at risk of losing our recognition with the United States Department of Education.

It’s going to have a chilling effect on all accrediting agencies.

Judge Karnow: Is there any evidence of that in the record?

ACCJC counsel Sclar: No, there hasn’t (been). 

Deputy City Attorney Eisenberg: If the people aren’t permitted to seek relief through an (injunctive) action, there’s no other recourse.

The ACCJC has demonstrated a very cavalier attitude in this case. We’re talking about closing the only community college in San Francisco. Many students don’t have access to other colleges otherwise. The relief that we are asking for here is quite modest. It has been granted before… and it didn’t do anything other than hit the pause button.

Music Listings

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WEDNESDAY 25
ROCK
Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. 16th Annual Black X Mass, w/ Bite, The Death Medicine Band, Theremin Wizard Barney, Kitten on the Keys, more, 9 p.m., $10.
DANCE
Cat Club: 1190 Folsom, San Francisco. “Bondage A Go Go,” w/ DJs Damon, Tomas Diablo, & guests, 9:30 p.m., $5-$10.
DNA Lounge: 375 11th St., San Francisco. Death Guild: X-Mess Night, w/ DJs Decay, Melting Girl, Joe Radio, Sage, and Lexor, 9 p.m., $5.
F8: 1192 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Housepitality: Free Christmas Party,” w/ Fil Latorre, Joel Conway, Matt Richardson, Michael Tello, Miguel Solari, Mike Bee, Sharon Buck, Sean Murray, Tyrel Williams, Victor Vega, 9 p.m., free.
JAZZ
Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. Gaucho, Eric Garland’s Jazz Session, The Amnesiacs, 7 p.m., free.
Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Charles Unger Experience, 7:30 p.m., free.
Top of the Mark: One Nob Hill, 999 California, San Francisco. Christmas Brunch & Dinner Buffet with Michael Athans & Ricardo Scales, 10 a.m., $59-$109.
Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Barbara Ochoa, 7:30 p.m.
BLUES
Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Craig Horton, 7:30 & 10 p.m., $15.
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Powell Street Blues Band, 9:30 p.m.

THURSDAY 26
ROCK
Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. “Mods v. Rockers: X-Mass Present,” w/ #1 Smash Hits, Pennywhistle Park, 9 p.m., free.
Bottom of the Hill: 1233 17th St., San Francisco. April & The Paradigm, The American Professionals, Matt Jaffe & The Distractions, 9 p.m., $8.
Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. Caldecott, Spooky Flowers, 9 p.m., $8-$10.
Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. Rakehell, 9 p.m., $8.
DANCE
Abbey Tavern: 4100 Geary, San Francisco. DJ Schrobi-Girl, 10 p.m., free.
Aunt Charlie’s Lounge: 133 Turk, San Francisco. “Tubesteak Connection,” w/ DJ Bus Station John, 9 p.m., $5-$7.
The Cafe: 2369 Market, San Francisco. “¡Pan Dulce!,” 9 p.m., $5.
Cat Club: 1190 Folsom, San Francisco. “Throwback Thursdays,” ‘80s night with DJs Damon, Steve Washington, Dangerous Dan, and guests, 9 p.m., $6 (free before 9:30 p.m.).
The Cellar: 685 Sutter, San Francisco. “XO,” w/ DJs Astro & Rose, 10 p.m., $5.
Club X: 715 Harrison, San Francisco. “The Crib,” 9:30 p.m., $10, 18+.
Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. “Afrolicious,” w/ DJs Pleasuremaker, Señor Oz, and live guests, 9:30 p.m., $5-$8.
F8: 1192 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Paradigm: A Shift in Musical Soundscapes,” w/ Method One, Sam Supa, Nebakaneza, Lud Dub, Miss Haze, Shadow Spirit, Cyclopian, 9 p.m., free.
Infusion Lounge: 124 Ellis, San Francisco. “I Love Thursdays,” 10 p.m., $10.
Neck of the Woods: 406 Clement St., San Francisco. Blaus, on the downstairs stage, 10 p.m. continues through, free with RSVP.
Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Throwback Thursday,” w/ DJ Jay-R, 9 p.m., free.
Raven: 1151 Folsom St., San Francisco. “1999,” w/ VJ Mark Andrus, 8 p.m., free.
Ruby Skye: 420 Mason, San Francisco. “Awakening,” w/ R3hab, 9 p.m., $25-$35 advance.
The Tunnel Top: 601 Bush, San Francisco. “Tunneltop,” DJs Avalon and Derek ease you into the weekend with a cool and relaxed selection of tunes spun on vinyl, 10 p.m., free.
Underground SF: 424 Haight, San Francisco. “Bubble,” 10 p.m., free.
Vessel: 85 Campton, San Francisco. “Base: Local Label Night,” w/ Bardia F, ThuyVu, Emanate, Mac Vaughn, Playdoughboy, 10 p.m., free with RSVP.
HIP-HOP
Eastside West: 3154 Fillmore, San Francisco. “Throwback Thursdays,” w/ DJ Madison, 9 p.m., free.
John Colins: 138 Minna, San Francisco. “#Quattro,” w/ DJ Dino, Fourth Thursday of every month, 9 p.m.
Skylark Bar: 3089 16th St., San Francisco. “Peaches,” w/ lady DJs DeeAndroid, Lady Fingaz, That Girl, Umami, Inkfat, and Andre, 10 p.m., free.
ACOUSTIC
Bazaar Cafe: 5927 California, San Francisco. Acoustic Open Mic, 7 p.m.
JAZZ
Bird & Beckett: 653 Chenery, San Francisco. Butterfly Jazz Trio, 3 p.m., free.
Blush! Wine Bar: 476 Castro, San Francisco. Doug Martin’s Avatar Ensemble, 7:30 p.m., free.
Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. Victor Little’s Big Hit, 9:30 p.m., $5-$8.
Bottle Cap: 1707 Powell, San Francisco. The North Beach Sound with Ned Boynton, Jordan Samuels, and Tom Vickers, 7 p.m., free.
Cafe Claude: 7 Claude, San Francisco. Nova Jazz, 7:30 p.m., free.
Le Colonial: 20 Cosmo, San Francisco. Steve Lucky & The Rhumba Bums, 7:30 p.m.
Pier 23 Cafe: Pier 23, San Francisco. Ned Boynton, 6 p.m., free.
Revolution Cafe: 3248 22nd St., San Francisco. Shimmering Leaves, 8:30 p.m., free.
The Royal Cuckoo: 3202 Mission, San Francisco. Charlie Siebert & Chris Siebert, 7:30 p.m., free.
Savanna Jazz Club: 2937 Mission, San Francisco. Savanna Jazz Jam with Eddy Ramirez, 7:30 p.m., $5.
Top of the Mark: One Nob Hill, 999 California, San Francisco. Stompy Jones, 7:30 p.m., $10.
Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Barbara Ochoa, 7:30 p.m., free.
INTERNATIONAL
Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. “Pa’Lante!,” w/ Juan G, El Kool Kyle, Mr. Lucky, 10 p.m., $5.
Cafe Cocomo: 650 Indiana, San Francisco. Danilo y Universal, El DJ X, 8 p.m., $12.
Pachamama Restaurant: 1630 Powell, San Francisco. “Jueves Flamencos,” 8 p.m., free.
Verdi Club: 2424 Mariposa, San Francisco. The Verdi Club Milonga, w/ Christy Coté, DJ Emilio Flores, guests, 9 p.m., $10-$15.
REGGAE
Pissed Off Pete’s: 4528 Mission St., San Francisco. Reggae Thursdays, w/ resident DJ Jah Yzer, 9 p.m., free.
BLUES
50 Mason Social House: 50 Mason, San Francisco. Bill Phillippe, 5:30 p.m., free.
Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Terrie Odabi & Evolution Blues, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $15.
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Chris Ford, 9:30 p.m.; Wendy DeWitt, 9:30 p.m.
COUNTRY
The Parlor: 2801 Leavenworth, San Francisco. “Twang Honky Tonk & Country Jamboree,” w/ DJ Little Red Rodeo, 7 p.m., free.
EXPERIMENTAL
The Luggage Store: 1007 Market, San Francisco. Sugarm, Slither Syndicate, 8 p.m., $6-$10.

FRIDAY 27
ROCK
Bottom of the Hill: 1233 17th St., San Francisco. Great White Buffalo, New Cadence, Northerner, 9:30 p.m., $10-$12.
Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. Down & Outlaws, Down Dirty Shake, Psychic Jiu-Jitsu, DJ Darragh Skelton, 9 p.m., $5-$7.
Hemlock Tavern: 1131 Polk, San Francisco. Jessie Evans, Moira Scar, DJ Omar, 9:30 p.m., $10.
The Knockout: 3223 Mission, San Francisco. The Boars, The Rantouls, So What!, The Krypters, DJ Medium Rare, 9:30 p.m., $6.
DANCE
1015 Folsom: 1015 Folsom St., San Francisco. Paul van Dyk, DJ Dan, DJ Taj, Dirtyhertz, Sequence, WhiteNoize, Kevin Kind, Niko Zografos, Reverse, Spencer Hardwick, Thrawn, Naughty J, many more, 9 p.m., $50-$60 advance.
Audio Discotech: 316 11th St., San Francisco. Fred Falke, Dr. Fresch, Anoctave, 9:30 p.m., $10 advance.
BeatBox: 314 11th St., San Francisco. “U-Haul,” w/ DJs Ms. Jackson & China G, 10 p.m., $5-$10.
Cafe Flore: 2298 Market, San Francisco. “Kinky Beats,” w/ DJ Sergio, 10 p.m., free.
The Cafe: 2369 Market, San Francisco. “Boy Bar,” w/ DJ Matt Consola, 9 p.m., $5.
Cat Club: 1190 Folsom, San Francisco. “Dark Shadows vs. The Witching Hour,” w/ DJs Daniel Skellington, Sage, Melting Girl, and Tomas Diablo, 9:30 p.m., $7 ($3 before 10 p.m.).
The Cellar: 685 Sutter, San Francisco. “F.T.S.: For the Story,” 10 p.m.
DNA Lounge: 375 11th St., San Francisco. “Trap & Bass,” w/ UltraViolet, Napsty, Harris Pilton, Lé Swndle, 9 p.m., $10-$20.
Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. “120 Minutes,” w/ Chippy Nonstop, Nanosaur, Powwoww, Santa Muerte, Chauncey CC, 10 p.m.
The Grand Nightclub: 520 4th St., San Francisco. “We Rock Fridays,” 9:30 p.m.
Infusion Lounge: 124 Ellis, San Francisco. “Escape Fridays,” 10 p.m., $20.
Lookout: 3600 16th St., San Francisco. “HYSL,” 9 p.m., $3.
Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “I ♥ the ‘90s,” w/ DJs Samala, Teo, Mr. Grant, & Sonny Phono, Fourth Friday of every month, 9 p.m., $5.
Manor West: 750 Harrison, San Francisco. “Fortune Fridays,” 10 p.m., free before 11 p.m. with RSVP.
MatrixFillmore: 3138 Fillmore, San Francisco. “F-Style Fridays,” w/ DJ Jared-F, 9 p.m.
Mighty: 119 Utah, San Francisco. “Holidazed,” w/ Doc Martin, Solar, Mark Darby, Kayleigh Nicole, 10 p.m., $15-$20.
Monarch: 101 6th St., San Francisco. Bob Moses, Dave Aju, Elz, 9:30 p.m., $20 advance.
OMG: 43 6th St., San Francisco. “Release,” 9 p.m., free before 11 p.m.
Public Works: 161 Erie, San Francisco. “Resonate,” w/ B. Lewis, RU (AreYou), Insightful, Ruff Draft, Mophono, Citizen Ten, Bdot, Mr. Muddbird, Tone, Joe Mousepad (in the OddJob Loft), 9 p.m., $5-$10; “Playa Favorites,” w/ The Scumfrog, DJ Kramer, Josh Vincent (in the main room), 9 p.m., $10-$15.
Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Pump: Worq It Out Fridays,” w/ resident DJ Christopher B, 9 p.m., $3.
Ruby Skye: 420 Mason, San Francisco. Darude, 9 p.m., $20 advance.
Underground SF: 424 Haight, San Francisco. “Bionic,” 10 p.m., $5.
Vessel: 85 Campton, San Francisco. “Project X,” w/ Feldy, Joey Moretti, 10 p.m., $10-$30.
Wish: 1539 Folsom, San Francisco. “Bridge the Gap,” w/ resident DJ Don Kainoa, Fridays, 6-10 p.m., free.
Women’s Building: 3543 18th St., San Francisco. Winter Wonderland Roller Disco Party, w/ Black Rock Roller Disco, 8 p.m., $10.
HIP-HOP
EZ5: 682 Commercial, San Francisco. “Decompression,” Fridays, 5-9 p.m.
John Colins: 138 Minna, San Francisco. “#Flow,” w/ The Whooligan & Mikos Da Gawd, Fourth Friday of every month, 10 p.m., free befoe 11 p.m.
Slim’s: 333 11th St., San Francisco. Berner, Dave Steezy, Azuré, 9 p.m., sold out.
ACOUSTIC
Bazaar Cafe: 5927 California, San Francisco. Alex Jimenez & Jane Thatcher, 7 p.m.
Cafe Du Nord: 2170 Market, San Francisco. “Old-Time Southern Murder Hour: Holiday Massacre,” w/ The Memphis Murder Men, The Pine Box Boys, Whisky Pills Fiasco, Lester T. Raww’s Graveside Quartet, 8:30 p.m., $11-$13.
Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. Seisiún with Pat O’Donnell, 9 p.m.
The Sports Basement: 610 Old Mason, San Francisco. “Breakfast with Enzo,” w/ Enzo Garcia, 10 a.m., $5.
JAZZ
Atlas Cafe: 3049 20th St., San Francisco. Jazz at the Atlas, 7:30 p.m., free.
Beach Chalet Brewery & Restaurant: 1000 Great Highway, San Francisco. Johnny Smith, 8 p.m., free.
Bird & Beckett: 653 Chenery, San Francisco. Chuck Peterson Quintet, Fourth Friday of every month, 5:30 p.m.
Cafe Claude: 7 Claude, San Francisco. Mad & Eddie Duran Trio, 7:30 p.m., free.
Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Charles Unger Experience, 7:30 p.m., free.
The Palace Hotel: 2 New Montgomery, San Francisco. The Klipptones, 8 p.m., free.
Pier 23 Cafe: Pier 23, San Francisco. Peter Horvath, 8 p.m., free.
The Royal Cuckoo: 3202 Mission, San Francisco. Jules Broussard, Danny Armstrong, and Chris Siebert, 7:30 p.m., free.
Savanna Jazz Club: 2937 Mission, San Francisco. Carol Luckenbach, 7:30 p.m., $8.
Top of the Mark: One Nob Hill, 999 California, San Francisco. Black Market Jazz Orchestra, 9 p.m., $10.
Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Joyce Grant, 8 p.m., free.
INTERNATIONAL
Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. Baxtalo Drom, International shimmying for lovers of Balkan music, bellydancers, and burlesque., Fourth Friday of every month, 9 p.m., $5-$10.
Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. “Paris-Dakar African Mix Coupe Decale,” 10 p.m., $5.
Cafe Cocomo: 650 Indiana, San Francisco. Taste Fridays, featuring local cuisine tastings, salsa bands, dance lessons, and more, 7:30 p.m., $15 (free entry to patio).
Cigar Bar & Grill: 850 Montgomery, San Francisco. Mazacote, 10 p.m.
Pachamama Restaurant: 1630 Powell, San Francisco. Cuban Night with Fito Reinoso, 7:30 & 9:15 p.m., $15-$18.
REGGAE
Gestalt Haus: 3159 16th St., San Francisco. “Music Like Dirt,” 7:30 p.m., free.
BLUES
Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Shane Dwight, 7:30 & 10 p.m., $22.
Lou’s Fish Shack: 300 Jefferson St., San Francisco. Little Wolf & The HellCats, 6:30 p.m.
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Jan Fanucchi, Last Friday of every month, 4 p.m.; Steve Freund, 9:30 p.m.
Sheba Piano Lounge: 1419 Fillmore, San Francisco. Aki Kumar, 9 p.m.
FUNK
Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. Steppin’, DJ K-Os, 9:30 p.m., $10.
Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. “Loose Joints,” w/ DJs Centipede, Damon Bell, and Tom Thump, 10 p.m., $5-$10.
SOUL
The Chapel: 777 Valencia St., San Francisco. “Friday Night Soul Party,” w/ Marc & The Casuals (featuring guests Virgil Shaw, Will Sprott, Bob Reed, Lavay Smith, and more); Viola Booth Group; DJs Andy Cabic & Orb, 9 p.m., $15.
Edinburgh Castle: 950 Geary, San Francisco. “Soul Crush,” w/ DJ Serious Leisure, 10 p.m., free.
Underground SF: 424 Haight, San Francisco. “Sissy Strut,” w/ The Handsome Young Men (DJs Ponyboy, Lil MC, Katie Duck, & Durt), Fourth Friday of every month, 10 p.m., $3-$5.
Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. Jon B, 8 & 10 p.m., $29-$34.

SATURDAY 28
ROCK
Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. Chris Zanardi & The High Beamz, Mark Sexton Band, 9:30 p.m., $10-$15.
Bottom of the Hill: 1233 17th St., San Francisco. Pounders, Fever Charm, Shuttlesworth, 9 p.m., $10.
Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. Stu Allen & Mars Hotel, Lonesome Locomotive, 9 p.m., $15-$20.
Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. Junk Parlor, The Restless Sons, Sad Tires, 9 p.m., $10.
The Independent: 628 Divisadero, San Francisco. Cracker, Camper Van Beethoven, 9 p.m., $25-$27.
Neck of the Woods: 406 Clement St., San Francisco. Signal Number 4, Benefit for Typhoon Haiyan victims with music by Untamed Creatures, Paradox Labyrinth, Jurimiko, and SeptDi (on the downstairs stage)., 9 p.m., $10.
Slim’s: 333 11th St., San Francisco. Matthew Sweet, Cellar Doors, 8 p.m., $21.
DANCE
Audio Discotech: 316 11th St., San Francisco. Touch of Class Holiday Showcase, w/ PillowTalk, Tone of Arc, Signal Flow, Sharon Buck, Sammy D, Joel Conway, 9:30 p.m., $10-$20.
BeatBox: 314 11th St., San Francisco. “Chaos,” w/ DJs Joshua D & Tristan Jaxx, 10 p.m., $20 ($5 before 10:30 p.m.).
Cafe Flore: 2298 Market, San Francisco. “Bistrotheque,” w/ DJ Ken Vulsion, 8 p.m., free.
Cat Club: 1190 Folsom, San Francisco. “Villainy: Grinch Night,” w/ DJs Tomas Diablo, Chris Zachos, Donimo, Melting Girl, and Fact.50, 9:30 p.m., $5-$8.
DNA Lounge: 375 11th St., San Francisco. “Bootie S.F.,” w/ A+D, Airsun, Brass Tax DJs, more, 9 p.m., $10-$15.
The EndUp: 401 Sixth St., San Francisco. Shangri-La, Asian queer dance party., Fourth Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., $15-$20 (free before 11 p.m.).
Infusion Lounge: 124 Ellis, San Francisco. “Set,” Fourth Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., $20.
Lookout: 3600 16th St., San Francisco. “Bounce!,” 9 p.m., $3.
Mighty: 119 Utah, San Francisco. Mr. Carmack, Buku, Great Dane, Penthouse Penthouse, Bogl, 9 p.m., $10-$20 advance.
Milk Bar: 1840 Haight, San Francisco. “Spilt Milk,” w/ Vin Sol, Taylor Fife, Shaky Premise, Etcher/Engraver, 9 p.m., $5.
Monarch: 101 6th St., San Francisco. King Most, Kimmy Le Funk, DJ Omar, 9:30 p.m.
Public Works: 161 Erie, San Francisco. Second Annual As You Like It Ugly Sweater Party, w/ Mathew Jonson, Hrdvsion, Midnight Operator, Kate Simko, Mossmoss, Victor Vega, Ewan Pearson, Bells & Whistles, Jason Greer, Ivy, 9 p.m., $12-$25.
Ruby Skye: 420 Mason, San Francisco. Sultan & Ned Shepard, 9 p.m., $20 advance.
Temple: 540 Howard, San Francisco. “Life,” w/ Sk0step, Mikey Tan, Tigran, Darren Holland, Carlos Alfonzo, Hector Infusion, J Funk, Glade Luco, MoMentum, 10 p.m., $20.
Vessel: 85 Campton, San Francisco. DJ Scotty Boy, Fyasko, 10 p.m., $10-$30.
HIP-HOP
Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. HipHopForChange’s Hip-Hop Holiday Party, w/ BPos, Seneca, 2nd Floor Samurais, Mint Rock, Tahaj the 1st, Bottom Hammer, 9 p.m., $10.
John Colins: 138 Minna, San Francisco. “Nice,” w/ DJ Apollo, Fourth Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., $5.
Slate Bar: 2925 16th St., San Francisco. “So Fresh,” w/ DJs Miles Green & Twin Spin, 10 p.m.
ACOUSTIC
Atlas Cafe: 3049 20th St., San Francisco. Craig Ventresco & Meredith Axelrod, Saturdays, 4-6 p.m., free.
Exit Theatre: 156 Eddy, San Francisco. “Songwriter Saturdays,” hosted by Melissa Lyn, Last Saturday of every month, 8:30 p.m., free/donation.
Giordano Brothers: 303 Columbus, San Francisco. John Rybak, CelloJoe, 9 p.m.
The Riptide: 3639 Taraval, San Francisco. Slow Motion Cowboys, 9:30 p.m., free.
JAZZ
Cafe Claude: 7 Claude, San Francisco. Lori Carsillo, 7:30 p.m., free.
Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Bill “Doc” Webster & Jazz Nostalgia, 7:30 p.m., free.
The Rite Spot Cafe: 2099 Folsom, San Francisco. Mr. Lucky & The Cocktail Party, 9 p.m., free.
Savanna Jazz Club: 2937 Mission, San Francisco. Savanna Jazz Trio, 7 p.m., $8.
Sheba Piano Lounge: 1419 Fillmore, San Francisco. The Robert Stewart Experience, 9 p.m.
Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Anne O’Brien, Last Saturday of every month, 8 p.m., free.
INTERNATIONAL
1015 Folsom: 1015 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Pura,” 9 p.m., $20.
Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. “Paris-Dakar African Mix Coupe Decale,” 10 p.m., $5.
Cafe Cocomo: 650 Indiana, San Francisco. Somos el Son, DJ Good Sho, 9 p.m., $15.
The Chapel: 777 Valencia St., San Francisco. SambaDá, 9 p.m., $15-$18.
Cigar Bar & Grill: 850 Montgomery, San Francisco. Orquesta Borinquen, 10 p.m.
Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. “El SuperRitmo,” w/ DJs Roger Mas & El Kool Kyle, 10 p.m., $5 before 11 p.m.
OMG: 43 6th St., San Francisco. “Bollywood Blast,” Fourth Saturday of every month, 9 p.m., $5 (free before 10 p.m.).
Pachamama Restaurant: 1630 Powell, San Francisco. Eddy Navia & Pachamama Band, 8 p.m., free.
Red Poppy Art House: 2698 Folsom, San Francisco. Yumi Tomsha, 7:30 p.m., $15-$20.
Space 550: 550 Barneveld, San Francisco. “Club Fuego,” 9:30 p.m.
REGGAE
Pier 23 Cafe: Pier 23, San Francisco. Native Elements, Last Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., $10-$15.
BLUES
Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Earl Thomas & The Blues Ambassadors, Last Saturday of every month, 7:30 & 10 p.m., $24.
Lou’s Fish Shack: 300 Jefferson St., San Francisco. Robert “Hollywood” Jenkins, 6:30 p.m.
The Royal Cuckoo: 3202 Mission, San Francisco. Big Bones & Chris Burns, 7:30 p.m., free.
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Dave Workman, Fourth Saturday of every month, 4 p.m.; Ron Hacker, Last Saturday of every month, 9:30 p.m.
SOUL
Cafe Du Nord: 2170 Market, San Francisco. Midtown Social, 9 p.m., $10-$12.
Edinburgh Castle: 950 Geary, San Francisco. “Nightbeat,” w/ DJs Primo, Lucky, and Dr. Scott, Fourth Saturday of every month, 9 p.m., $3.
Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. Jon B, 8 & 10 p.m., $34.

SUNDAY 29
ROCK
The Knockout: 3223 Mission, San Francisco. Terry Malts, Violent Change, Quaaludes, Cop Out, DJ Tosh, 3 p.m., $7.
Milk Bar: 1840 Haight, San Francisco. Odd Owl, Kitten Grenade, Unruly Things, 8 p.m., $10.
Sub-Mission Art Space (Balazo 18 Gallery): 2183 Mission, San Francisco. Skitzofrenik, Garrett Miranda, Total Badass, Frailed Sanity, Trecelence, 7 p.m., $5.
DANCE
440 Castro: 440 Castro, San Francisco. “Sunday Furry Sunday,” Last Sunday of every month, 4-10 p.m., $1.
Beaux: 2344 Market, San Francisco. “Full of Grace: A Weekly House Music Playground,” 9 p.m., free.
The Cellar: 685 Sutter, San Francisco. “Replay Sundays,” 9 p.m., free.
The Edge: 4149 18th St., San Francisco. “’80s at 8,” w/ DJ MC2, 8 p.m.
Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. “Dub Mission,” w/ Mista Chatman, DJ Sep, Vinnie Esparza, 9 p.m., $7.
The EndUp: 401 Sixth St., San Francisco. “T.Dance,” 6 a.m.-6 p.m.; “Sunday Sessions,” 8 p.m.
F8: 1192 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Stamina,” w/ Freaky Flow, 10 p.m., free.
The Knockout: 3223 Mission, San Francisco. “Sweater Funk,” 10 p.m., free.
Lookout: 3600 16th St., San Francisco. “Jock,” Sundays, 3-8 p.m., $2.
MatrixFillmore: 3138 Fillmore, San Francisco. “Bounce,” w/ DJ Just, 10 p.m.
Otis: 25 Maiden, San Francisco. “What’s the Werd?,” w/ resident DJs Nick Williams, Kevin Knapp, Maxwell Dub, and guests, 9 p.m., $5 (free before 11 p.m.).
The Parlor: 2801 Leavenworth, San Francisco. DJ Marc deVasconcelos, 10 p.m., free.
Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Gigante,” 8 p.m., free.
HIP-HOP
Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. “Return of the Cypher,” 9:30 p.m., free.
Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. Wax, Dumbfoundead, EOM, Anderson Paak, 9 p.m., $15-$20.
Slim’s: 333 11th St., San Francisco. Blackalicious, Jahi & The Life, Antique Naked Soul, 9 p.m., $25.
ACOUSTIC
The Lucky Horseshoe: 453 Cortland, San Francisco. Bernal Mountain Bluegrass Jam, 4 p.m., free; The Kentucky Twisters, 8 p.m.
Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “Spike’s Mic Night,” Sundays, 4-8 p.m., free.
Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. Seisiún with the Crooked Road Ceili Band, 9 p.m.
St. Luke’s Episcopal Church: 1755 Clay, San Francisco. “Sunday Night Mic,” w/ Roem Baur, 5 p.m., free.
JAZZ
Bird & Beckett: 653 Chenery, San Francisco. Duncan James & Ray Scott, 4:30 p.m., free.
Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Lavay Smith & Her Red Hot Skillet Lickers, 7 & 9:30 p.m., $20.
Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Bill “Doc” Webster & Jazz Nostalgia, 7:30 p.m., free.
Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “Sunday Sessions,” 10 p.m., free.
Revolution Cafe: 3248 22nd St., San Francisco. Jazz Revolution, 4 p.m., free/donation.
The Royal Cuckoo: 3202 Mission, San Francisco. Adam Shulman, 7:30 p.m., free.
Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Barbara Ochoa, 7:30 p.m., free.
INTERNATIONAL
Atmosphere: 447 Broadway, San Francisco. “Hot Bachata Nights,” w/ DJ El Guapo, 5:30 p.m., $10 ($18-$25 with dance lessons).
Balancoire: 2565 Mission St., San Francisco. “Tardeadas Tropicales,” 3 p.m.
Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. “Brazil & Beyond,” 6:30 p.m., free.
Pier 23 Cafe: Pier 23, San Francisco. Miguel Govea, 5 p.m., free.
Thirsty Bear Brewing Company: 661 Howard, San Francisco. “The Flamenco Room,” 7:30 & 8:30 p.m.
REGGAE
Il Pirata: 2007 16th St., San Francisco. “Ragga Ragga,” w/ DJs Vinny Ras, Kure All, & Theory, Last Sunday of every month, 7 p.m., free.
BLUES
Lou’s Fish Shack: 300 Jefferson St., San Francisco. Nat Bolden, 4 p.m.
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Blues Power, 4 p.m.; Silvia C, 9:30 p.m.
Sheba Piano Lounge: 1419 Fillmore, San Francisco. Bohemian Knuckleboogie, 8 p.m., free.
Swig: 571 Geary, San Francisco. Sunday Blues Jam with Ed Ivey, 9 p.m.
SOUL
Delirium Cocktails: 3139 16th St., San Francisco. “Heart & Soul,” w/ DJ Lovely Lesage, 10 p.m., free.
Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. Elliott Yamin, 7 p.m., $24.

MONDAY 30
ROCK
The Independent: 628 Divisadero, San Francisco. Holy Ghost!, Breakdown Valentine, DJ Aaron Axelsen, 9 p.m., $30.
DANCE
DNA Lounge: 375 11th St., San Francisco. “Death Guild,” 18+ dance party with DJs Decay, Joe Radio, Melting Girl, & guests, 9:30 p.m., $3-$5.
Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Wanted,” w/ DJs Key&Kite and Richie Panic, 9 p.m., free.
Underground SF: 424 Haight, San Francisco. “Vienetta Discotheque,” w/ DJs Stanley Frank and Robert Jeffrey, 10 p.m., free.
ACOUSTIC
Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. Supermule, 9 p.m., free.
The Chapel: 777 Valencia St., San Francisco. Jessica Pratt, Neal Casal & Lauren Barth, Sarah Bethe Nelson, 8 p.m., $12-$15.
The Chieftain: 198 Fifth St., San Francisco. The Wrenboys, 7 p.m., free.
Fiddler’s Green: 1333 Columbus, San Francisco. Terry Savastano, 9:30 p.m., free/donation.
Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. Open Mic with Brendan Getzell, 8 p.m., free.
Osteria: 3277 Sacramento, San Francisco. “Acoustic Bistro,” 7 p.m., free.
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Peter Lindman, 4 p.m.
JAZZ
Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Eugene Pliner Quartet with Tod Dickow, 7:30 p.m., free.
Le Colonial: 20 Cosmo, San Francisco. Le Jazz Hot, 7 p.m., free.
Sheba Piano Lounge: 1419 Fillmore, San Francisco. City Jazz Instrumental Jam Session, 8 p.m.
The Union Room at Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. The Session: A Monday Night Jazz Series, pro jazz jam with Mike Olmos, 7:30 p.m., $12.
Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Nora Maki, 7:30 p.m., free.
REGGAE
Skylark Bar: 3089 16th St., San Francisco. “Skylarking,” w/ I&I Vibration, 10 p.m., free.
BLUES
Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Tia Carroll & Hard Work, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $15.
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. The Bachelors, 9:30 p.m.
SOUL
Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. Jarell Perry, Locksmith, 9 p.m., $10-$12.
Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “M.O.M. (Motown on Mondays),” w/ DJ Gordo Cabeza & Timoteo Gigante, 8 p.m., free.

TUESDAY 31
ROCK
Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. Loving Cup NYE, w/ French Cassettes, Sugar Candy Mountain, FpodBpod, Jjaaxxnn, 8 p.m., $15.
Bottom of the Hill: 1233 17th St., San Francisco. Generationals, The Frail, Nova Albion, 10 p.m., $22-$25.
Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. Stu Allen & Mars Hotel, Pat Nevins, 9 p.m., $30-$35.
The Chapel: 777 Valencia St., San Francisco. The Fresh & Onlys, Vetiver, Sun Araw, Pure Bliss, 9 p.m., $25-$30.
Connecticut Yankee: 100 Connecticut, San Francisco. Family, Friends, and Fans New Year’s Eve Party with New Monsoon, 9:30 p.m., $35-$45.
Great American Music Hall: 859 O’Farrell, San Francisco. Melvins, Redd Kross, Frightwig, 9 p.m., $40.
Hemlock Tavern: 1131 Polk, San Francisco. New Year’s Eve Bash with Glitter Wizard, Pins of Light, Owl, 9 p.m., $12.
Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. Jeff Cotton’s Gin Joint, Toy House, 9 p.m., $10.
Maggie McGarry’s: 1353 Grant, San Francisco. New Year’s Eve with the UnOriginals, 10 p.m.
Red Devil Lounge: 1695 Polk, San Francisco. The Final Countdown, Red Devil Lounge NYE closing party with Pop Rocks, 9 p.m., $60.
The Riptide: 3639 Taraval, San Francisco. The Remones, 9:30 p.m., free.
Sub-Mission Art Space (Balazo 18 Gallery): 2183 Mission, San Francisco. New Year’s Party with Grimace & The Fakers, 10 p.m., $15.
DANCE
Audio Discotech: 316 11th St., San Francisco. NYE 2014 with Fehrplay, 9 p.m., $35-$75 advance.
Balancoire: 2565 Mission St., San Francisco. Welcome 2014, w/ DJs Mixtek & Jackson, 9 p.m., $25-$35.
BeatBox: 314 11th St., San Francisco. Bearracuda: Eighth Annual NYE S.F., w/ DJs Paul Goodyear & Matt Stands, 8 p.m., $20 advance.
Butterfly: 33 Pier, San Francisco. Butterfly New Year’s Eve: A Great Gatsby Inspired Event, w/ The Les & DJ MytyMyke, 9 p.m., $99+ advance.
The Cafe: 2369 Market, San Francisco. Sugar NYE 2014, w/ DJ Deft, 8 p.m., $25 VIP advance.
Cat Club: 1190 Folsom, San Francisco. ‘80s NYE 2014, w/ DJs Kurt Harland (Information Society), Shindog, Andy T, Porter, Damon, and Ryan, 9 p.m., $20+ advance.
The Cellar: 685 Sutter, San Francisco. The Wild One: NYE 2014, w/ J. Espinosa, Katrina B, Kid Vicious, DJ Midnight, 9 p.m., $25 advance.
DNA Lounge: 375 11th St., San Francisco. Bootie S.F.: NYE 2014 Shit Show, w/ A+D, Smash-Up Derby, DJ Dada, Dcnstrct, MyKill, Meikee Magnetic, Mixtress Shizaam, BishopeMagnetic, Entyme, Airsun, more, 9 p.m., $30-$50.
Edinburgh Castle: 950 Geary, San Francisco. Blow in 2014, 9 p.m., $10.
The EndUp: 401 Sixth St., San Francisco. EndUp NYE & 40th Anniversary Party, w/ Colette & DJ Heather, 9 p.m., $40.
The Grand Nightclub: 520 4th St., San Francisco. A Grand Affair, 9:30 p.m., $89.95+ advance.
Harlot: 46 Minna, San Francisco. The Silver Ball, w/ DJ Spider, Sam Isaac, Ryan Lucero, 9 p.m., $55+ advance.
Harry Denton’s Starlight Room: 450 Powell, San Francisco. New Year’s Eve at the Starlight Room, w/ Club 90, 10 p.m., $100.
Hotel Adagio: 550 Geary, San Francisco. Stardust NYE, With live music by Kiwi Time., 8 p.m., $75+ advance.
Hotel Vitale: 8 Mission St., San Francisco. Catch 2014 If You Can, w/ Traviswild, Jsanty, Deejay Theory, 9 p.m., $149+ advance.
Hyatt Regency San Francisco: 5 Embarcadero Center, San Francisco. Champagne Resolutions, w/ DJs Cobra, Twin Spin, and Intensify, 9 p.m., $100+ advance.
The Independent: 628 Divisadero, San Francisco. Holy Ghost!, Midi Matilda, DJ Vin Sol, 9 p.m., sold out.
Infusion Lounge: 124 Ellis, San Francisco. Masquerade: New Year’s Eve 2014, w/ DJ Miles Medina, 10 p.m., $45+ advance.
The Knockout: 3223 Mission, San Francisco. The Teenage Dance Craze NYE, w/ DJ dX, Okie Oran, and Russell Quan, 10 p.m., $10.
Lexington Club: 3464 19th St., San Francisco. Champagne Showers, w/ DJs Footy & Jeanine Da Feen, 9 p.m., free.
Lookout: 3600 16th St., San Francisco. New Year’s Eve Celebration with DJ Hazmat, 9:30 p.m., $5-$8.
Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. The No Theme Super New Year’s Dance Jam, w/ DJs Sonny Phono & Facemelter, 8 p.m., $10.
Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. Frigo-International Discotheque, 8 p.m., $20-$25.
Mas Sake: 2030 Lombard, San Francisco. Moulin Mas New Year’s Eve Party, Featuring a prix fixe menu plus beats by DJ Leo., 6:30 p.m., $90+ advance.
MatrixFillmore: 3138 Fillmore, San Francisco. NYE 2014 with Jared-F & Kean B, 9 p.m., $25-$40 advance.
Mighty: 119 Utah, San Francisco. Mighty Mammoth Masquerade, w/ Blond:ish, Gravity, Moe Moe, Jonathan Will, Zach Walker, Markie B, Derek Hena, 9 p.m., $35-$100 advance.
Monarch: 101 6th St., San Francisco. The New Year’s Eve Extravaganza Ball 2014, w/ Psychemagik, Sleight of Hands, Shiny Objects, Jason Greer, Tyrel Williams, Miguel Solari, Anthony Mansfield, Mozhgan, Cole, Jimmy B, 8 p.m., $40 advance.
Neck of the Woods: 406 Clement St., San Francisco. NYE Tropical Disco Party, w/ Poolside, Le Youth, Miles the DJ, more, 9 p.m., $50-$85.
OMG: 43 6th St., San Francisco. Glow Me!: UV Blacklight NYE Party, w/ DJ One Man Army, 9 p.m., $15-$25.
The Palace Hotel: 2 New Montgomery, San Francisco. NYE International Ball 2014, w/ One More Time: A Tribute to Daft Punk, Chris Harnett, DJ Aykut, Dr. T, DJ Santero, Juan Data, Kevin Armstrong, 9 p.m., $85+ advance.
The Parlor: 2801 Leavenworth, San Francisco. The Parlor NYE, w/ The Designer Deejays, 8:30 p.m., $45+ advance.
Press Club Wine Bar and Lounge: 20 Yerba Buena, San Francisco. Press Club New Year’s Eve Party, w/ DJ Char Harms, 9 p.m., $65-$100 advance.
Public Works: 161 Erie, San Francisco. Honey Sunset NYE, w/ Matthew Dear, Solar, Galen, Jason Kendig, P-Play, Josh Cheon, Robot Hustle, 9 p.m., $25-$40 advance.
Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. Switch NYE 2014, w/ DJs Jenna Riot, Andre, Ms. Jackson, and Kidd Sysko, 9 p.m.
Raven: 1151 Folsom St., San Francisco. Club Raven NYE Celebration, w/ DJ Jorge Terez, 8 p.m., $25.
Renaissance Parc 55 Hotel: 55 Cyril Magnin, San Francisco. NYE Massive 2014, 9 p.m., $45+ advance.
Ruby Skye: 420 Mason, San Francisco. New Year’s Eve 2014 with Nervo, 9 p.m., $100-$150 advance.
Slate Bar: 2925 16th St., San Francisco. New Year New Wave, w/ The Certain People Crew, 9 p.m., $15-$20 advance.
Slide: 430 Mason, San Francisco. NYE 2014 with DJ David Carvalho, 9 p.m., $30+ advance.
Sloane: 1525 Mission, San Francisco. Midnight Dreamz NYE 2014, w/ DJ Alex Dreamz, 9 p.m., $25-$100.
Supperclub San Francisco: 657 Harrison, San Francisco. Neon New Year’s 2014, w/ Tall Sasha, 10 p.m., $35+ advance.
Taverna Aventine: 582 Washington, San Francisco. NYE Party with DJ FGLDan, 9 p.m., $85.
Temple: 540 Howard, San Francisco. Temple New Year’s Eve 2014, w/ AraabMuzik, DJ Apollo, St. John, Paul Hemming, IQ, Napsty, Lé Swndle, Teleport, 9 p.m., $25-$150 advance.
Vessel: 85 Campton, San Francisco. All Systems Are Go: NYE 2014, w/ Ken Loi & John Beaver, 10 p.m., $25 advance.
W San Francisco: 181 Third St., San Francisco. NYE 2014 at W S.F., w/ DJ Panic City, Made Monsters, Tech Minds, Brian V, Darker Daze, DJ Antiks, DJ Feldy, 9 p.m., $135+ advance.
Westin San Francisco Market Street: 50 Third St., San Francisco. Epic New Year’s Eve 2014, 9 p.m., $35+ advance.
The Westin St. Francis: 335 Powell, San Francisco. Passport to the World 2014, w/ The Spazmatics, Maikaze Daiko, DJs, fashion shows, live art, more, 9 p.m., $110+ advance.
Wish: 1539 Folsom, San Francisco. Wish New Year’s Eve 2014, w/ DJs Jamie Swing, Mario Dubbz, and Heather B., 5 p.m., $30-$40 advance (free before 8 p.m.).
Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. A Red Carpet Celebration with Trent Cantrelle, Pheeko Dubfunk, David Paul, in Yoshi’s lounge, 9 p.m., $35+ advance.
HIP-HOP
Atmosphere: 447 Broadway, San Francisco. Atmosphere NYE, w/ DJs Momix, Parix, J-Kixx, and Kendiesel, 9:30 p.m., $50+ advance.
Bruno’s: 2389 Mission, San Francisco. Bruno’s NYE 2014, w/ White Mike, King Most, Justin Scott, and DJ Tone, 9 p.m., $20+ advance.
The Cosmo Bar & Lounge: 440 Broadway, San Francisco. NYE Explosion 2014, 9 p.m., $20+ advance.
Horizon Lounge: 498 Broadway, San Francisco. Countdown 2014, w/ DJ Andrez, 9 p.m., $20+ advance.
John Colins: 138 Minna, San Francisco. New Year’s Eve 2014 with the Whooligan, 9 p.m., $25-$40.
La Mar Cebicheria Peruana: Pier 1 1/2, San Francisco. Fireworks Over the Bay: NYE 2014, w/ DJ Weapon & King James, 8 p.m., $85+ advance.
Manor West: 750 Harrison, San Francisco. NYE14: Toast a Manor Winter, w/ DJ D-Sharp & Romeo Reyes, 10 p.m., $40-$60.
Mezzanine: 444 Jessie, San Francisco. Danny Brown, Flatbush Zombies, Traxamillion, 9 p.m., $45.
Nickies: 466 Haight, San Francisco. Nickies NYE, w/ DJ I-Cue, 9 p.m., free.
ACOUSTIC
Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. Outlaw Hillbilly New Year’s Eve with the Earl Brothers, 9 p.m., $10-$15.
Slim’s: 333 11th St., San Francisco. NYE with The Brothers Comatose, The Sam Chase, Rainbow Girls, 9 p.m., $30.
JAZZ
Cafe Claude: 7 Claude, San Francisco. Jerry Oakley Trio, 7:30 p.m.
Cafe Du Nord: 2170 Market, San Francisco. Slapsie Maxie’s Speakeasy New Years: A Classic San Francisco Celebration, w/ Slim Jenkins, The Rumble Strippers, 29th Street Swingtet, The Hi-Ball Hotshots, 8 p.m., $30-$50.
The Royal Cuckoo: 3202 Mission, San Francisco. New Year’s Eve with Lavay Smith, Chris Siebert, and Charlie Siebert, 9:30 p.m., free.
Savanna Jazz Club: 2937 Mission, San Francisco. Savanna Jazz Band, 7:30 p.m., $20.
Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Hubert Emerson, 7:30 p.m., $100.
INTERNATIONAL
1015 Folsom: 1015 Folsom St., San Francisco. Pura NYE 2014, 9 p.m., $20+ advance.
111 Minna Gallery: 111 Minna St., San Francisco. BombayLove NYE 2014, w/ DJs Karry, Aalok, and Sukh, 9 p.m., $39-$75.
Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. NYE at Bissap Baobab, w/ DJs Marco, Bocard, Claude, and Kabila, 10 p.m., $15-$50.
Cafe Cocomo: 650 Indiana, San Francisco. New Year’s Eve Gala 2014, w/ Orquesta Borinquen, Orquesta La Clave Del Blanco, DJ EMV, El DJ X, 8 p.m., $20-$50 advance.
El Rio: 3158 Mission, San Francisco. Sweet & Sexy Mango NYE 2014, w/ DJs Marcella, Olga T, and guests, 8 p.m., $15.
Pachamama Restaurant: 1630 Powell, San Francisco. New Year’s Eve at Peña Pachamama, w/ music by Eddy Navia & Pachamama Band and dance performances by Fogo na Roupa, 8 p.m., $135.
Treasure Island Event Venue: 401 California Ave., San Francisco. Fantasy Island NYE: Univision Radio’s Second Annual New Year’s Eve Celebration, 8 p.m., $35+ advance.
REGGAE
Milk Bar: 1840 Haight, San Francisco. New Year’s Eve with DJ Jah Yzer, 9 p.m., $20.
BLUES
Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Joe Louis Walker, 8 & 11 p.m., $50-$60.
Johnny Foley’s Irish House: 243 O’Farrell St., San Francisco. Stan Erhart, 10 p.m.
Lou’s Fish Shack: 300 Jefferson St., San Francisco. Jim Moore & Funktional Soul, 8 p.m.
The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Curtis Lawson, 9:30 p.m.
CABARET
Feinstein’s at the Nikko: 222 Mason St., San Francisco. Michael Feinstein, 11 p.m., $135-$395.
FUNK
Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. Katdelic, Wil Blades Trio, DJ Be Smiley, 9:30 p.m., $40-$50.
SOUL
Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. New Year’s Eve Soul Party, w/ DJ Lucky, Paul Paul, and Phengren Oswald, 9 p.m., $20-$25.
Local Edition: 691 Market St., San Francisco. M.O.M. NYE 2014, w/ The Will Magid Experiment featuring Aima the Dreamer, plus Motown on Monday DJs Gordo Cabeza, Timoteo Gigante, and the Captain Hat, 8 p.m., $40.
Top of the Mark: One Nob Hill, 999 California, San Francisco. New Year’s Eve Dinner & Dance, w/ music by Ascension, 7:30 p.m., $375+.
Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. New Year’s Eve with the California Honeydrops, DJ Harry Duncan, 8 & 10:30 p.m., $36-$75. 

Film Listings: December 25 – 31, 2013

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Film listings are edited by Cheryl Eddy. Reviewers are Kimberly Chun, Dennis Harvey, Lynn Rapoport, Sam Stander, and Sara Maria Vizcarrondo. For rep house showtimes, see Rep Clock.

OPENING

47 Ronin Keanu Reeves, Tadanobu Asano, Rinko Kikuchi, and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa star in this action film about a posse of vengeful 18th-century Japanese samurai. (2:00) Shattuck.

Grudge Match If the prospect of watching Rocky go glove-to-glove with Jake LaMotta sounds either tired or exploitive, Grudge Match wants to change your mind. A comedy that delivers a decent bout inside the ring and a worthwhile message about fulfilling your potential at every age, Grudge Match is 100 percent feel-good movie, 100 percent of the time. Yes, the publicity campaign contrived by Kevin Hart’s promoter character is embarrassing. Yes, Alan Arkin plays yet another foul-mouthed curmudgeon. And yes, the boxers have a torn family this match could heal (though fighting threatens to kill them both). But the takeaway is an all-ages lesson our elders are most qualified to teach: having guts is pretty glorious. And at 68 and 70, Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro seem delighted to lampoon past greatness. “Kid” (DeNiro) does a puppet show that’s less pathos-filled than the poetry he spouted in 1980’s Raging Bull; the training montages “Razor” (Stallone) slogs through naturally recall 1976’s Rocky. But Grudge Match is about today — not yesterday. Alongside Gravity and The Wolf of Wall Street, Grudge Match is yet another populist lovefest throwaway, but who cares? Few have cornered the market on audience affection like Stallone, and he’s helped De Niro find that love too. (1:53) (Vizcarrondo)

Her Morose and lonely after a failed marriage, Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) drifts through an appealingly futuristic Los Angeles (more skyscrapers, less smog) to his job at a place so hipster-twee it probably will exist someday: beautifulhandwrittenletters.com, where he dictates flowery missives to a computer program that scrawls them onto paper for paying customers. Theodore’s scripting of dialogue between happy couples, as most of his clients seem to be, only enhances his sadness, though he’s got friends who care about him (in particular, Amy Adams as Amy, a frumpy college chum) and he appears to have zero money woes, since his letter-writing gig funds a fancy apartment equipped with a sweet video-game system. Anyway, women are what gives Theodore trouble — and maybe by extension, writer-director Spike Jonze? — so he seeks out the ultimate gal pal: Samantha, an operating system voiced by Scarlett Johansson in the year’s best disembodied performance. Thus begins a most unusual relationship, but not so unusual; Theodore’s friends don’t take any issue with the fact that his new love is a machine. Hey, in Her’s world, everyone’s deeply involved with their chatty, helpful, caring, always-available OS — why wouldn’t Theo take it to the next level? Inevitably, of course, complications arise. If Her’s romantic arc feels rather predictable, the film acquits itself in other ways, including boundlessly clever production-design touches that imagine a world with technology that’s (mostly) believably evolved from what exists today. Also, the pants they wear in the future? Must be seen to be believed. (2:00) Shattuck. (Eddy)

I Am Divine Bringing joy to a lot of people during his too-brief life was Glenn Milstead, the subject of Jeffrey Schwarz’s I Am Divine. A picked-on sissy fat kid, he blossomed upon discovering Baltimore’s gay underground — and starring in neighbor John Waters’ underground movies, made by and for the local “freak” scene they hung out in. Yet even their early efforts found a following; when “Divine” appeared in SF to perform at one of the Cockettes’ midnight movie/theater happenings, he was greeted as a star. This was before his greatest roles for Waters, as the fearsome anti-heroines of Pink Flamingos (1972) and Female Trouble (1974), then the beleaguered hausfraus of Polyester (1981) and Hairspray (1988). Despite spending nearly his entire career in drag, he wanted to be thought of as a character actor, not a “transvestite” novelty. Sadly, he seemed on the verge of achieving that — having been signed to play an ongoing male role on Married … with Children — when he died of respiratory failure in 1988, at age 42. (1:25) Roxie. (Harvey)

Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom As tough as it is to separate the man from the monument, Idris Elba, Naomie Harris, director Justin Chadwick manage it in this cinematic rendering of Nelson Mandela’s autobiography — perfectly if unintentionally timed, all us cynics recognize, to coincide with the sad passing of the father of the modern South Africa. Chadwick starts slow, and somewhat chaotically, by quickly sketching out Mandela’s relatively wild youth, with plenty of women and clubbing and few specifics on particulars like, say, the fact that he established the first black law firm in South Africa. So when Mandela finally joins forces with the ANC, you wonder at his sudden radicalization — the context is taken for granted. Not so when Mandela is sentenced to life in prison and he turns into an international symbol of anti-apartheid injustice, and the white authorities turn desperately to him for ways to quell a country erupting in violence. Meanwhile wife Winnie (a surprisingly fiery Harris) gets her just share of screen time as Chadwick concentrates on the couple’s romance and marriage. She’s also offered ample reason for her promotion of violence in the struggle when she’s harassed by the police and put in solitary confinement for more than a year, for no cause. Here the Mandelas come to conveniently embody polar opposite approaches in the movement, and it works, as Chadwick attempts to show how political the personal became. When Mandela’s amazing story takes over, it blows away reservations and inconvenient codas, and remembers the leader at his most triumphant. As the film’s iconic lead character, Elba at first seems physically miscast, but nevertheless effortlessly projects Mandela’s authority, gravitas, and charisma. (2:26) Piedmont. (Chun)

The Past Splits in country, culture, and a harder-to-pinpoint sense of morality mark The Past, the latest film by Asghar Farhadi, the first Iranian moviemaker to win an Oscar (for 2011’s A Separation.) At the center of The Past’s onion layers is a seemingly simple divorce of a binational couple, but that act becomes more complicated — and startlingly compelling — in Farhadi’s capable, caring hands. Ahmad (Ali Mosaffa) has returned to Paris from Tehran, where he’s been living for the past four years, at the request of French wife Marie (Bérénice Bejo of 2011’s The Artist). She wants to legalize their estrangement so she can marry her current boyfriend, Samir (Tahar Rahim of 2009’s A Prophet), whose wife is in a coma. But she isn’t beyond giving out mixed messages by urging Ahmad to stay with her, and her daughters by various fathers, rather than at a hotel — and begging him to talk to teen Lucie (Pauline Burlet), who seems to despise Samir. The warm, nurturing Ahmad falls into his old routine in Marie’s far-from-picturesque neighborhood, visiting a café owned by fellow Iranian immigrants and easily taking over childcare duties for the overwhelmed Marie, as he tries to find out what’s happening with Lucie, who’s holding onto a secret that could threaten Marie’s efforts to move on. The players here are all wonderful, in particular the sad-faced, humane Mosaffa. We never really find out what severed his relationship with Marie, but in the end, it doesn’t really matter. We care about, and end up fearing for, all of Farhadi’s everyday characters, who are observed with a tender and unsentimental understanding that US filmmakers could learn from. The effect, when he finally racks focus on the forgotten member of this triangle (or quadrilateral?), is heartbreaking. (2:10) Clay. (Chun)

Reaching for the Moon Brazilian director Bruno Barreto (1997’s Four Days in September) offers a moving account of the romantic relationship between the American poet Elizabeth Bishop (Miranda Otto) and the Brazilian architect Lota de Macedo Soares (Glória Pires), which spanned the 1950s and the better part of the ’60s. The pair meet under inauspicious circumstances: traveling to Brazil, Elizabeth visits her old Vassar friend Mary (Tracy Middendorf) at the gorgeous rural estate where she lives with Lota, a wealthy woman from one of Brazil’s prominent political families. Unfortunately for Mary, Lota’s regard for the timid, restrained Elizabeth moves along a precipitous arc from irritation to infatuation, her subsequent impetuous pursuit of her lover’s friend revealing a heartless egoism — as well as an attitude toward householding that blends a poly sensibility with a ruling-class sense of entitlement. The film tracks Elizabeth and Lota’s enduring affair during a period marked by professional triumphs, personal lows, and political turmoil, all of which take their toll on the relationship. (1:56) Opera Plaza. (Rapoport)

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Walter Mitty (Ben Stiller) works at the Life magazine archives, where the world’s greatest photojournalists send him images of their extraordinary adventures. Walter lives vicariously. When he imagines his office crush (Kristen Wiig) trapped in a burning building, his inner superhero arrests his faculties and sends him flying through windows, racing up stairs to liberate children from their flaming homes. It’s all a fantasy, of course: the man works in a basement with pictures and George Bailey-styled dreams of travel, what does he have but his imagination to keep him warm? Turns out his workplace is planning to kill off its print edition and become LifeOnline — so facing the end of Life, and imminent quiet desperation, this office-mouse is tasked with delivering the last cover the magazine will ever have. But frame 25 on the contact sheet — the one the magazine’s star photog (Sean Penn) calls “The Quintessence of Life” — is blank. Instead of crying defeat, Walter goes on a hunt for the photographer, his avatar of rugged outdoorsmanship, and the realization of his dreams of adventure. It’s liberating to watch him take risks — Stiller says years of watching Danny Kaye movies (Kaye starred in the 1947 adaptation of James Thurber’s short story) inspired the awkwardly balletic gestures of roving, frightened, ultimately exuberant Walter. The film, which Stiller also directed, is ultimately a dreamy parable about getting caught up in imagination — or just confusing images for real life — both of which feel timely in a world where libraries are cyberplaces and you can play “tennis” in front of your couch. The kind of guy who thought the biggest threat was making the first move, Walter learns differently when he takes actual risks: there is magic in this. (2:05) (Vizcarrondo)

The Wolf of Wall Street Three hours long and breathless from start to finish, Martin Scorsese’s tale of greed, stock-market fraud, and epic drug consumption has a lot going on — and the whole thing hinges on a bravado, breakneck performance by latter-day Scorsese muse Leonardo DiCaprio. As real-life sleaze Jordan Belfort (upon whose memoir the film is based), he distills all of his golden DiCaprio-ness into a loathsome yet maddeningly likable character who figures out early in his career that being rich is way better than being poor, and that being fucked-up is, likewise, much preferable to being sober. The film also boasts keen supporting turns from Jonah Hill (as Belfort’s crass, corrupt second-in-command), Matthew McConaughey (who has what amounts to a cameo — albeit a supremely memorable one — as Belfort’s coke-worshiping mentor), Jean Dujardin (as a slick Swiss banker), and newcomer Margot Robbie (as Belfort’s cunning trophy wife). But this is primarily the Leo and Marty Show, and is easily their most entertaining episode to date. Still, don’t look for an Oscar sweep: Scorsese just hauled huge for 2011’s Hugo, and DiCaprio’s flashy turn will likely be passed over by voters more keen on honoring subtler work in a shorter film. (2:59) California, Vogue. (Eddy)

 

ONGOING

About Time Richard Curtis, the man behind 2003’s Love Actually, must be enjoying his days in England, rolling in large piles of money. Coinciding with the 10-year anniversary of that twee cinematic love fest comes Curtis’ latest ode to joy, About Time. The film begins in Cornwall at an idyllic stone beach house, as Tim (Domhnall Gleeson) describes his family members (Bill Nighy is dad; Richard Cordery is the crazy uncle) and their pleasures (tea on the beach, ping pong). Despite beachside bliss, Tim is lovelorn and ready to begin a career as a barrister (which feels as out of the blue as the coming first act break). Oh! And as it happens, the men in Tim’s family can travel back in time. There are no clear rules, though births and deaths are like no-trespass signs on the imaginary timeline. When he meets Mary (Rachel McAdams), he falls in love, but if he paves over his own evening by bouncing back and spending that night elsewhere, he loses the path he’s worn into the map and has to fix it. Again and again. Despite potential repetition, About Time moves smoothly, sweetly, slowly along, giving its audience time enough to feel for the characters, and then feel for the characters again, and then keep crying just because the ball’s already in motion. It’s the most nest-like catharsis any British film ever built. (2:03) SF Center. (Vizcarrondo)

American Hustle David O. Russell’s American Hustle is like a lot of things you’ve seen before — put in a blender, so the results are too smooth to feel blatantly derivative, though here and there you taste a little Boogie Nights (1997), Goodfellas (1990), or whatever. Loosely based on the Abscam FBI sting-scandal of the late 1970s and early ’80s (an opening title snarks “Some of this actually happened”), Hustle is a screwball crime caper almost entirely populated by petty schemers with big ideas almost certain to blow up in their faces. It’s love, or something, at first sight for Irving Rosenfeld (Christian Bale) and Sydney Prosser (Amy Adams), who meet at a Long Island party circa 1977 and instantly fall for each other — or rather for the idealized selves they’ve both strained to concoct. He’s a none-too-classy but savvy operator who’s built up a mini-empire of variably legal businesses; she’s a nobody from nowhere who crawled upward and gave herself a bombshell makeover. The hiccup in this slightly tacky yet perfect match is Irving’s neglected, crazy wife Rosalyn (Jennifer Lawrence), who’s not about to let him go. She’s their main problem until they meet Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper), an ambitious FBI agent who entraps the two while posing as a client. Their only way out of a long prison haul, he says, is to cooperate in an elaborate Atlantic City redevelopment scheme he’s concocted to bring down a slew of mafioso and presumably corrupt politicians, hustling a beloved Jersey mayor (Jeremy Renner) in the process. Russell’s filmmaking is at a peak of populist confidence it would have been hard to imagine before 2010’s The Fighter, and the casting here is perfect down to the smallest roles. But beyond all clever plotting, amusing period trappings, and general high energy, the film’s ace is its four leads, who ingeniously juggle the caricatured surfaces and pathetic depths of self-identified “winners” primarily driven by profound insecurity. (2:17) Four Star, Metreon, 1000 Van Ness, Sundance Kabuki. (Harvey)

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues Look, I fully understand that Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues — which follows the awkward lumberings of oafish anchor Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) and his equally uncouth team (Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, David Koechner) as they ditch San Diego in favor of New York’s first 24-hour news channel, circa 1980 — is not aimed at film critics. It’s silly, it’s tasteless, and it’s been crafted purely for Ferrell fans, a lowbrow army primed to gobble up this tale of Burgundy’s national TV rise and fall (and inevitable redemption), with a meandering storyline that includes chicken-fried bat, a pet shark, an ice-skating sequence, a musical number, epic amounts of polyester, lines (“by the bedpan of Gene Rayburn!”) that will become quoteable after multiple viewings, and the birth of infotainment as we know it. But what if a film critic happened to be a Ferrell fan, too? What if, days later, that film critic had a flashback to Anchorman 2’s amplified news-crew gang war (no spoilers), and guffawed at the memory? I am fully aware that this ain’t a masterpiece. But I still laughed. A lot. (1:59) Four Star, Marina, Metreon, 1000 Van Ness. (Eddy)

The Armstrong Lie “This is a story about power, not doping,” a talking head points out in Alex Gibney’s latest doc, The Armstrong Lie. Gibney, an Oscar winner for 2007’s Taxi to the Dark Side, set out to make something more along the lines of The Armstrong Return, shadowing Lance Armstrong as he prepped for his 2009 Tour de France comeback. He envisioned crafting a “feel-good movie,” especially when Armstrong notched an impressive third-place finish — a feat intended to silence those performance-enhancing drug rumors once and for all. In the end, it only amplified the skepticism that loomed over his accomplishments. And as the evidence against Armstrong mounted, Gibney scrapped his original concept and went in a decidedly darker direction. Armstrong’s critics, interviewed for Lie, admit they spotted the acclaimed documentarian among Armstrong’s Tour de France entourage and feared he was “buying into the bullshit.” Among these voices are Armstrong’s former US Postal Service teammate, Frankie Andreu, and his wife, Betsy, who’d been excoriated by their former good friend and his supporters for speaking out against him. A feel-good movie, this is not. And ultimately, Gibney’s film probes deeper than Armstrong’s flaws; it’s careful to point out that drug use is widespread among professional cyclists, who are surrounded by an insular, high-stakes culture that encourages it. The sports world lives and dies by the next world record or superhuman achievement. Is it any wonder that elite athletes seek out that extra competitive edge? And that Armstrong, in fully-inflated ego mode, would believe he had the power to rearrange reality to keep his victories intact? (2:03) Smith Rafael. (Eddy)

Bettie Page Reveals All Mark Mori’s affectionate Bettie Page Reveals All is narrated in the form of a rambling, chuckle-punctuated interview with the late pin-up icon herself. (We never actually see her except in archival film and images.) Even die-hards who already know the story behind the legend — a rough childhood, several unsuccessful marriages, mental-health issues — will likely learn some new tidbits. (A friend recalls watching 2005’s unauthorized biopic The Notorious Bettie Page with its subject, who hollered her opinion — “Lies! Lies!” — throughout.) Associates like Hugh Hefner and Dita Von Teese drop by to praise Page’s talents and legacy, but there’s no greater proof of lasting glamour than Page’s famous photographs, which she clearly loved posing for, and never regretted, even after embracing Christianity later in life. (1:41) Smith Rafael. (Eddy)

The Book Thief One of those novels that seems to have been categorized as “young adult” more for reasons of marketing than anything else, Markus Zusak’s international best seller gets an effective screen adaptation from director Brian Percival and scenarist Michael Petroni. Liesl (Sophie Nelisse) is an illiterate orphan — for all practical purposes, that is, given the likely fate of her left-leaning parents in a just-pre-World War II Nazi Germany — deposited by authorities on the doorstep of the middle-aged, childless Hubermanns in 1938. Rosa (Emily Watson) is a ceaseless nag and worrywart, even if her bark is worse than her bite; kindly housepainter Hans (Geoffrey Rush), who’s lost work by refusing to join “the Party,” makes a game of teacher Liesl how to read. Her subsequent fascination with books attracts the notice of the local Burgermeister’s wife (Barbara Auer), who under the nose of her stern husband lets the girl peruse tomes from her manse’s extensive library. But that secret is trivial compared to the Hubermanns’ hiding of Max Vandenburg (Ben Schnetzer), son of Jewish comrade who’d saved Hans’ life in the prior world war. When war breaks out anew, this harboring of a fugitive becomes even more dangerous, something Liesl can’t share even with her best friend Rudy (Nico Liersch). While some of the book’s subplots and secondary characters are sacrificed for the sake of expediency, the filmmakers have crafted a potent, intelligent drama whose judicious understatement extends to the subtlest (and first non-Spielberg) score John Williams has written in years. Rush, Watson, and newcomer Schnetzer are particularly good in the well-chosen cast. (2:11) SF Center. (Harvey)

Blue is the Warmest Color The stars (Adèle Exarchopoulos and Léa Seydoux) say the director was brutal. The director says he wishes the film had never been released (but he might make a sequel). The graphic novelist is uncomfortable with the explicit 10-minute sex scene. And most of the state of Idaho will have to wait to see the film on Netflix. The noise of recrimination, the lesser murmur of backpedaling, and a difficult-to-argue NC-17 rating could make it harder, as French director Abdellatif Kechiche has predicted, to find a calm, neutral zone in which to watch Blue is the Warmest Color, his Palme d’Or–winning adaptation (with co-writer Ghalya Lacroix) of Julie Maroh’s 2010 graphic novel Le Blue Est une Couleur Chaude. But once you’ve committed to the three-hour runtime, it’s not too difficult to tune out all the extra noise and focus on a film that trains its mesmerized gaze on a young woman’s transforming experience of first love. (2:59) Smith Rafael. (Rapoport)

Blue Jasmine The good news about Blue Jasmine isn’t that it’s set in San Francisco, but that it’s Woody Allen’s best movie in years. Although some familiar characteristics are duly present, it’s not quite like anything he’s done before, and carries its essentially dramatic weight more effectively than he’s managed in at least a couple decades. Not long ago Jasmine (a fearless Cate Blanchett) was the quintessential Manhattan hostess, but that glittering bubble has burst — exactly how revealed in flashbacks that spring surprises up to the script’s end. She crawls to the West Coast to “start over” in the sole place available where she won’t be mortified by the pity of erstwhile society friends. That would be the SF apartment of Ginger (Sally Hawkins), a fellow adoptive sister who was always looked down on by comparison to pretty, clever Jasmine. Theirs is an uneasy alliance — but Ginger’s too big-hearted to say no. It’s somewhat disappointing that Blue Jasmine doesn’t really do much with San Francisco. Really, the film could take place anywhere — although setting it in a non-picture-postcard SF does bolster the film’s unsettled, unpredictable air. Without being an outright villain, Jasmine is one of the least likable characters to carry a major US film since Noah Baumbach’s underrated Margot at the Wedding (2007); the general plot shell, moreover, is strongly redolent of A Streetcar Named Desire. But whatever inspiration Allen took from prior works, Blue Jasmine is still distinctively his own invention. It’s frequently funny in throwaway performance bits, yet disturbing, even devastating in cumulative impact. (1:38) Opera Plaza. (Harvey)

Dallas Buyers Club Dallas Buyers Club is the first all-US feature from Jean-Marc Vallée. He first made a splash in 2005 with C.R.A.Z.Y., which seemed an archetype of the flashy, coming-of-age themed debut feature. Vallée has evolved beyond flashiness, or maybe since C.R.A.Z.Y. he just hasn’t had a subject that seemed to call for it. Which is not to say Dallas is entirely sober — its characters partake from the gamut of altering substances, over-the-counter and otherwise. But this is a movie about AIDS, so the purely recreational good times must eventually crash to an end. Which they do pretty quickly. We first meet Ron Woodroof (Matthew McConaughey) in 1986, a Texas good ol’ boy endlessly chasing skirts and partying nonstop. Not feeling quite right, he visits a doctor, who informs him that he is HIV-positive. His response is “I ain’t no faggot, motherfucker” — and increased partying that he barely survives. Afterward, he pulls himself together enough to research his options, and bribes a hospital attendant into raiding its trial supply of AZT for him. But Ron also discovers the hard way what many first-generation AIDS patients did — that AZT is itself toxic. He ends up in a Mexican clinic run by a disgraced American physician (Griffin Dunne) who recommends a regime consisting mostly of vitamins and herbal treatments. Ron realizes a commercial opportunity, and finds a business partner in willowy cross-dresser Rayon (Jared Leto). When the authorities keep cracking down on their trade, savvy Ron takes a cue from gay activists in Manhattan and creates a law evading “buyers club” in which members pay monthly dues rather than paying directly for pharmaceutical goods. It’s a tale that the scenarists (Craig Borten and Melisa Wallack) and director steep in deep Texan atmospherics, and while it takes itself seriously when and where it ought, Dallas Buyers Club is a movie whose frequent, entertaining jauntiness is based in that most American value: get-rich-quick entrepreneurship. (1:58) Embarcadero, 1000 Van Ness, Sundance Kabuki. (Harvey)

Ender’s Game Those entering Ender’s Game in search of homophobic threads or politically unsavory themes will likely be frustrated. After all, Orson Scott Card — once a board member of the National Organization for Marriage, and here serving as a producer intent on preserving the 1985 novel that netted him acclaim — has revisited what was initially a short story multiple times over the years, tweaking it to reflect a new political climate, to ready it for new expedient uses. Who knows — the times are a-changin’ fast enough, with the outcry of LGBT activists and the growing acceptance of gay military members, to hope that a gay character might enter the mix someday. Of course, sexuality of all sorts is kept firmly in check in the Ender’s world. Earth has been invaded by an insect-like species called the Formics, and the planet unifies to serve up its best and brightest (and, it’s implied, most ruthless) young minds, sharpened on first-person-shooters and tactical games, to the cause of defeating the alien “other.” Andrew “Ender” Wiggin (Asa Butterfield) is the knowing hybrid of his sociopath brother Peter (Jimmy Pinchak) and compassionate sister Valentine (Abigail Breslin) — of the trinity, he’s “the One,” as Han Solo, I mean, Harrison Ford, cadet talent-spotter and trainer Colonel Graff, puts it. Ender impresses the leather off the hardened old war horse, though the Colonel’s psychologically more equipped cohort Major Anderson (Viola Davis) suspects there’s more going on within their chosen leader. Director-screenwriter Gavin Hood demonstrates his allegiance to Card’s vision, valorizing the discipline and teamwork instilled by military school with the grim purpose and dead serious pleasure one might take in studying a well-oiled machine, while Ender is sharpened and employed as a stunningly effective tool in a war he never truly conceived of. This game has a bit more in common with the recent Wii-meets-Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Godzillas of Pacific Rim than the winking, acidic satire of Starship Troopers (1997), echoing a drone-driven War on Terror that has a way of detaching even the most evolved fighter from the consequences of his or her actions. The question is how to undo, or rewrite, the damage done. (1:54) SF Center. (Chun)

Frozen (1:48) Metreon, 1000 Van Ness, Vogue.

Go For Sisters “Looks like trouble,” grumbles disgraced former LAPD detective Freddy Suárez when he spots Bernice (Lisa Gay Hamilton) and Fontayne (Yolonda Ross) on his front lawn. The women — childhood friends, recently reunited by the awkward circumstance of parole officer Bernice being assigned to recovering drug addict Fontayne’s case — are looking for Bernice’s estranged son, missing and probably in grave danger due to his entanglements with gangsters in Mexico. Suárez, nicknamed “the Terminator” despite his grizzled exterior, agrees to help (for a price), and the unlikely threesome travel to Tijuana on Rodney’s trail. Border tales are the specialty of writer-director John Sayles (1996’s Lone Star), and as usual, “border” doesn’t only refer to a line on a map. Go For Sisters‘ characters are mostly living between worlds, with morals that shift according to the situation. (The constant is the rekindled friendship between Bernice and Fontayne, once so close they could pass for sisters, or “go for sisters,” per the title.) If the resulting film is a little more rambling than Sayles’ best work, it still offers an experience that feels lived-in and authentic. (2:02) Opera Plaza. (Eddy)

Gravity “Life in space is impossible,” begins Gravity, the latest from Alfonso Cuarón (2006’s Children of Men). Egghead Dr. Ryan Stone (Sandra Bullock) is well aware of her precarious situation after a mangled satellite slams into her ship, then proceeds to demolition-derby everything (including the International Space Station) in its path. It’s not long before she’s utterly, terrifyingly alone, and forced to unearth near-superhuman reserves of physical and mental strength to survive. Bullock’s performance would be enough to recommend Gravity, but there’s more to praise, like the film’s tense pacing, spare-yet-layered script (Cuarón co-wrote with his son, Jonás), and spectacular 3D photography — not to mention George Clooney’s warm supporting turn as a career astronaut who loves country music almost as much as he loves telling stories about his misadventures. (1:31) Castro, Metreon, 1000 Van Ness. (Eddy)

The Great Beauty The latest from Paolo Sorrentino (2008’s Il Divo) arrives as a high-profile contender for the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar, already annointed a masterpiece in some quarters, and duly announcing itself as such in nearly every grandiose, aesthetically engorged moment. Yes, it seems to say, you are in the presence of this auteur’s masterpiece. But it’s somebody else’s, too. The problem isn’t just that Fellini got there first, but that there’s room for doubt whether Sorrentino’s homage actually builds on or simply imitates its model. La Dolce Vita (1960) and 8 1/2 (1963) are themselves swaying, jerry-built monuments, exhileratingly messy and debatably profound. But nothing quite like them had been seen before, and they did define a time of cultural upheaval — when traditional ways of life were being plowed under by a loud, moneyed, heedless modernity that for a while chose Rome as its global capital. Sorrentino announces his intention to out-Fellini Fellini in an opening sequence so strenuously flamboyant it’s like a never-ending pirouette performed by a prima dancer with a hernia. There’s statuary, a women’s choral ensemble, an on-screen audience applauding the director’s baffled muse Toni Servillo, standing in for Marcello Mastroianni — all this and more in manic tracking shots and frantic intercutting, as if sheer speed alone could supply contemporary relevancy. Eventually The Great Beauty calms down a bit, but still its reason for being remains vague behind the heavy curtain of “style.” (2:22) Opera Plaza, Smith Rafael. (Harvey)

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Just when you’d managed to wipe 2012’s unwieldy The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey from your mind, here comes its sequel — and it’s actually good! Yes, it’s too long (Peter Jackson wouldn’t have it any other way); arachnophobes (and maybe small children) will have trouble with the creepy, giant-spider battle; and Orlando Bloom, reprising his Lord of the Rings role as Legolas the elf, has been CG’d to the point of looking like he’s carved out of plastic. But there’s much more to enjoy this time around, with a quicker pace (no long, drawn-out dinner parties); winning performances by Martin Freeman (Bilbo), Ian McKellan (Gandalf); and Benedict Cumberbatch (as the petulent voice of Smaug the dragon); and more shape to the quest, as the crew of dwarves seeks to reclaim their homeland, and Gandalf pokes into a deeper evil that’s starting to overtake Middle-earth. (We all know how that ends.) In addition to Cumberbatch, the cast now includes Lost‘s Evangeline Lilly as elf Tauriel, who doesn’t appear in J.R.R. Tolkien’s original story, but whose lady-warrior presence is a welcome one; and Luke Evans as Bard, a human poised to play a key role in defeating Smaug in next year’s trilogy-ender, There and Back Again. (2:36) Balboa, Cerrito, Metreon, 1000 Van Ness, Sundance Kabuki. (Eddy)

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire Before succumbing to the hot and heavy action inside the arena (intensely directed by Francis Lawrence) The Hunger Games: Catching Fire force-feeds you a world of heinous concept fashions that’d make Lady Gaga laugh. But that’s ok, because the second film about one girl’s epic struggle to change the world of Panem may be even more exciting than the first. Suzanne Collins’ YA novel The Hunger Games was an over-literal metaphor for junior high social survival and the glory of Catching Fire is that it depicts what comes after you reach the cool kids’ table. Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) inspired so much hope among the 12 districts she now faces pressures from President Snow (a portentous Donald Sutherland) and the fanatical press of Capital City (Stanley Tucci with big teeth and Toby Jones with big hair). After she’s forced to fake a romance with Peeta (Josh Hutcherson), the two watch with horror as they’re faced with a new Hunger Game: for returning victors, many of whom are too old to run. Amanda Plummer and Jeffrey Wright are fun as brainy wackjobs and Jena Malone is hilariously Amazonian as a serial axe grinder still screaming like an eighth grader. Inside the arena, alliances and rivalries shift but the winner’s circle could survive to see another revolution; to save this city, they may have to burn it down. (2:26) Metreon, 1000 Van Ness, Sundance Kabuki. (Vizcarrondo)

Inside Llewyn Davis In the Coen Brothers’ latest, Oscar Isaac as the titular character is well on his way to becoming persona non grata in 1961 NYC — particularly in the Greenwich Village folk music scene he’s an ornery part of. He’s broke, running out of couches to crash on, has recorded a couple records that have gone nowhere, and now finds out he’s impregnated the wife (Carey Mulligan) and musical partner of one among the few friends (Justin Timberlake) he has left. She’s furious with herself over this predicament, but even more furious at him. This ambling, anecdotal tale finds Llewyn running into one exasperating hurdle after another as he burns his last remaining bridges, not just in Manhattan but on a road trip to Chicago undertaken with an overbearing jazz musician (John Goodman) and his enigmatic driver (Garrett Hedlund) to see a club impresario (F. Murray Abraham). This small, muted, droll Coens exercise is perfectly handled in terms of performance and atmosphere, with pleasures aplenty in its small plot surprises, myriad humorous idiosyncrasies, and T. Bone Burnett’s sweetened folk arrangements. But whether it actually has anything to say about its milieu (a hugely important Petri dish for later ’60s political and musical developments), or adds up to anything more profound than an beautifully executed shaggy-dog story, will be a matter of personal taste — or perhaps of multiple viewings. (1:45) Embarcadero, Sundance Kabuki. (Harvey)

Lenny Cooke In 2001, Brooklyn-raised Lenny Cooke was the number one high school basketball player in America — rated higher than future NBA megastars like Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James. This doc from brothers Joshua and Benny Safdie is largely a cautionary tale, starting with Cooke’s decision to forego college and enter the NBA draft after a much-hyped but unstable high school career. Footage shot by producer Adam Shopkorn — who followed Cooke during his late teenage years, hoping to track a star being born — captures Cooke excitedly watching the 2001 draft, when multiple “prep-to-pro” players were selected in the first round. It also shows him engaged in a fierce basketball camp match-up with the slightly younger James, who gets the better of him. An unlikely voice of reason comes early, when Kobe Bryant advises Cooke and other young players “Don’t rely on basketball for your happiness, because it’s not gonna happen.” Indeed, the 19-year-old Cooke goes undrafted in 2002, instead playing in various lesser leagues (including a stint in Quezon City, Philippines) before drifting away from his dreams. Inevitably, Lenny Cooke catches up with its subject in more recent years: nearing 30, noticeably overweight, and by turns reflective, regretful, angry, and humbled, cooking for his family as a New York Times sports reporter takes notes on what “not making it” looks like. (1:30) Roxie. (Eddy)

Nebraska Alexander Payne may be unique at this point in that he’s in a position of being able to make nothing but small, human, and humorous films with major-studio money on his own terms. It’s hazardous to make too much of a movie like Nebraska, because it is small — despite the wide Great Plains landscapes shot in a wide screen format — and shouldn’t be entered into with overinflated or otherwise wrong-headed expectations. Still, a certain gratitude is called for. Nebraska marks the first time Payne and his writing partner Jim Taylor weren’t involved in the script, and the first one since their 1996 Citizen Ruth that isn’t based on someone else’s novel. (Hitherto little-known Bob Nelson’s original screenplay apparently first came to Payne’s notice a decade ago, but getting put off in favor of other projects.) It could easily have been a novel, though, as the things it does very well (internal thought, sense of place, character nuance) and the things it doesn’t much bother with (plot, action, dialogue) are more in line with literary fiction than commercial cinema. Elderly Woody T. Grant (Bruce Dern) keeps being found grimly trudging through snow and whatnot on the outskirts of Billings, Mont., bound for Lincoln, Neb. Brain fuzzed by age and booze, he’s convinced he’s won a million dollars and needs to collect it him there, though eventually it’s clear that something bigger than reality — or senility, even — is compelling him to make this trek. Long-suffering younger son David (Will Forte) agrees to drive him in order to simply put the matter to rest. This fool’s mission acquires a whole extended family-full of other fools when father and son detour to the former’s podunk farming hometown. Nebraska has no moments so funny or dramatic they’d look outstanding in excerpt; low-key as they were, 2009’s Sideways and 2011’s The Descendants had bigger set pieces and narrative stakes. But like those movies, this one just ambles along until you realize you’re completely hooked, all positive emotional responses on full alert. (1:55) Embarcadero. (Harvey)

Out of the Furnace Scott Cooper is best-known for directing Jeff Bridges to a long-overdue Oscar in 2009 country-music yarn Crazy Heart. Perhaps that’s why his follow-up contains so many stars: Christian Bale, Casey Affleck, Forest Whitaker, Willem Dafoe, Sam Shepard, Zoe Saldana, and Woody Harrelson. That cast is the main draw for Out of the Furnace, a glum fable of dying American dreams co-written by Cooper and Brad Inglesby. Furnace retains Crazy Heart‘s melodramatic tendencies and good ol’ boy milieu, though this time we’re deep in Pennsylvania’s Rust Belt, which manages to be even more depressing than Crazy Horse‘s honky-tonks. Cue gray skies, repeated shots of train tracks and smoke stacks, an emo banjo score, and dialogue that casually mentions that “the mill,” the only source of income for miles around, is about to close. Probably the nicest guy in town is Bale’s character, arrested early on for causing a fatal car accident thanks to his inability to turn down a drink offered by the town heavy (Dafoe). Post-prison, he discovers that his girlfriend (Saldana) has taken up with another man, and that his money-troubled Iraq-vet brother (Affleck) has been entering high-stakes pit fights. Really, this can’t end well for anyone. Adding to Out of the Furnace‘s bleak take on modern masculinity is Harrelson, stealing all his scenes with ease as a psychotically violent redneck. Mickey Knox lives! (1:56) SF Center. (Eddy)

Philomena Judi Dench gives this twist on a real-life scandal heart, soul, and a nuanced, everyday heft. Her ideal, ironic foil is Steve Coogan, playing an upper-crusty irreverent snob of an investigative journalist. Judging by her tidy exterior, Dench’s title character is a perfectly ordinary Irish working-class senior, but she’s haunted by the past, which comes tumbling out one day to her daughter: As an unwed teenager, she gave birth to a son at a convent. She was forced to work there, unpaid; as supposed penance, the baby was essentially sold to a rich American couple against her consent. Her yarn reaches disgraced reporter Martin Sixsmith (Coogan), who initially turns his nose up at the tale’s piddling “human interest” angle, but slowly gets drawn in by the unexpected twists and turns of the story — and likely the possibility of taking down some evil nuns — as well as seemingly naive Philomena herself, with her delight in trash culture, frank talk about sex, and simple desire to see her son and know that he thought, once in a while, of her. It turns out Philomena’s own sad narrative has as many improbable turnarounds as one of the cheesy romance novels she favors, and though this unexpected twosome’s quest for the truth is strenuously reworked to conform to the contours of buddy movie-road trip arc that we’re all too familiar with, director Stephen Frears’ warm, light-handed take on the gentle class struggles going on between the writer and his subject about who’s in control of the story makes up for Philomena’s determined quest for mass appeal. (1:35) Embarcadero, Marina, Sundance Kabuki. (Chun)

The Punk Singer It was strange when Kathleen Hanna — riot grrrl activist, iconic Bikini Kill battle cry leader, electro-popping Le Tigre singer — went silent. Beat down by a mysterious illness, she seemingly tumbled into hardcore self-preservation mode, contributing her personal files of zines, show flyers, and lyrics to the “Riot Grrrl Collection” at New York University’s Fales Library. This archival material would prove key to Sini Anderson’s new documentary about Hanna, The Punk Singer. The film includes many lesser-seen clips from the early days of Bikini Kill, the band’s tours through Europe, and early moments with Hanna’s husband, Beastie Boy Adam Horovitz, and it uses archival footage and present-day interviews to color in Hanna’s childhood, the beginning of the riot grrrl movement, Le Tigre, and her post-Bikini Kill solo project, the Julie Ruin. The bulk of filming was done over the course of a year — and it was a momentous one: Halfway through, Hanna was diagnosed with late-stage neurological Lyme disease. The revelation spurred Anderson (who also has Lyme disease) to focus on the strength in Hanna’s vulnerability, and to depict how her subject chose to view her illness as motivation to return to music. Anderson’s interviews with Hanna are intimate and enlightening; the film also features commentary from Bikini Kill’s Tobi Vail, Billy Karren, and Kathi Wilcox (now of the Julie Ruin); Kim Gordon; Joan Jett; Carrie Brownstein and Corin Tucker; and teenage Rookie Magazine editor Tavi Gevinson. (1:56) Roxie. (Emily Savage)

Saving Mr. Banks Having promised his daughters that he would make a movie of their beloved Mary Poppins books, Walt Disney (Tom Hanks) has laid polite siege to author P.L. Travers (Emma Thompson) for over 20 years. Now, in the early 1960s, she has finally consented to discuss the matter in Los Angeles — albeit with great reluctance, and only because royalty payments have dried up to the point where she might have to sell her London home. Bristling at being called “Pam” and everything else in this sunny SoCal and relentlessly cheery Mouse House environ, the acidic English spinster regards her creation as sacred. The least proposed changes earn her horrified dismissal, and the very notion of having Mary and company “prancing and chirping” out songs amid cartoon elements is taken as blasphemy. This clash of titans could have made for a barbed comedy with satirical elements, but god forbid this actual Disney production should get so cheeky. Instead, we get the formulaically dramatized tale of a shrew duly tamed by all-American enterprise, with flashbacks to the inevitable past traumas (involving Colin Farrell as a beloved but alcoholic ne’er-do-well father) that require healing of Travers’ wounded inner child by the magic of the Magic Kingdom. If you thought 2004’s Finding Neverland was contrived feel-good stuff, you’ll really choke on the spoons full of sugar force-fed here. (2:06) Balboa, Cerrito, 1000 Van Ness, SF Center. (Harvey)

12 Years a Slave Pop culture’s engagement with slavery has always been uneasy. Landmark 1977 miniseries Roots set ratings records, but the prestigious production capped off a decade that had seen some more questionable endeavors, including 1975 exploitation flick Mandingo — often cited by Quentin Tarantino as one of his favorite films; it was a clear influence on his 2012 revenge fantasy Django Unchained, which approached its subject matter in a manner that paid homage to the Westerns it riffed on: with guns blazing. By contrast, Steve McQueen’s 12 Years a Slave is nuanced and steeped in realism. Though it does contain scenes of violence (deliberately captured in long takes by regular McQueen collaborator Sean Bobbitt, whose cinematography is one of the film’s many stylistic achievements), the film emphasizes the horrors of “the peculiar institution” by repeatedly showing how accepted and ingrained it was. Slave is based on the true story of Solomon Northup, an African American man who was sold into slavery in 1841 and survived to pen a wrenching account of his experiences. He’s portrayed here by the powerful Chiwetel Ejiofor. Other standout performances come courtesy of McQueen favorite Michael Fassbender (as Epps, a plantation owner who exacerbates what’s clearly an unwell mind with copious amounts of booze) and newcomer Lupita Nyong’o, as a slave who attracts Epps’ cruel attentions. (2:14) Embarcadero, 1000 Van Ness, Sundance Kabuki. (Eddy)

Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas (1:45) Metreon, 1000 Van Ness.

Walking With Dinosaurs Like hungry, fast-moving Chirostenotes, movieland has a habit of poaching from all comers, be it a toy, video game, or here, a hugely successful 1999 BBC documentary miniseries of the same name. This 3D hamburger version of the award-winning six-parter plays to dinos’ most avid audience, traditionally — kids — by anthropomorphizing runt Pachyrhinosaurus, otherwise known as Patchi (voiced by Justin Long), as the scrappy young hero of this adventure and dramatizing life-and-death migrations his herd undertakes each year as rites of passage. Framing the adventure is a present-day dig with archaeologist Zack (Karl Urban), his skeptical nephew (Charlie Rowe), and gung-ho niece (Angourie Rice). With a broken 70 million-year-old tooth in hand — and with help from prehistoric Alexomis bird Alex (John Leguizamo, who provides most of the levity), we learn about Patchi, his brother Scowler (Skyler Stone), and their herd of horned, thick-noised lizards as they make their way south for winter and back, encountering multiple dangers and predators, as well as let’s-make-a-family delights in the form of young female Juniper (Tiya Sircar) along with way. Count on the CGI to be seamless, the 3D to come in handy when it comes to incoming Quetzalcoatlus, and the choice of not having the lizards’ lips move as they speak to seem tasteful and wise — especially when it comes dubbing for a global audience. (1:27) Metreon, 1000 Van Ness. (Chun)

White Reindeer Washington, DC area realtor Suzanne (Anna Margaret Hollyman) is in full Yuletide spirit well before Jesus’ actual b-day, looking forward to moving in the new year to Hawaii with her TV weatherman husband. But holiday cheer goes down the toilet when she comes home one day to find he’s been shot to death during an attempted break-in. While attempting to be supportive, her parents offer further trauma by announcing that they’re about to break up after probably 40 years or so of marriage. And a mourner at the wake unnecessarily unburdens himself of a secret he might well have kept: Suzanne’s late husband was pretty heavily involved with a local stripper, Autumn, a.k.a. Fantasia (Laura Lemar-Goldsborough). Suzanne seeks her out, first to get some closure, then to “hang out” — part of a pretty crazed grieving process that eventually involves much clubbing, drinking, snorting, and some swinging (new neighbors who bought their home through her turn out to be sexually … adventurous). Zach Clark’s bittersweet semi-black comedy set during a very white Christmas delivers outré content in a low-key, attuned to the emotional realities of characters whose actions make a certain internal sense even when they make absolutely none externally. It’s a holiday movie about depression that is not, ultimately, depressing in itself. (1:22) Roxie. (Harvey) *

2014 dreams

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marke@sfbg.com

SUPER EGO Hey, hey, hey — it’s that time again — New Year’s Eve comes hard upon us. Avoid the amateur hour on the streets and duck (sauce) into these warm ragers. All parties below take place Tue/31. Find more rockin’ NYE shindigs here and general fun events here. Clink!

 

ARAABMUZIK

 

Damn, I love this performer, who makes live hip-hop and ’90s big-room beats at lightning speed — and knows how to get a crowd up. He’s with DJ Apollo and St. John at Temple’s grand three-room NYE.

9pm-4am, $50–$60. Temple, 540 Howard, SF. www.templesf.com

 

BEARRACUDA NYE

 

Hundreds of hot fat, furry, friendly gay guys dancing 2013 right out the door — how ’bout it? With DJs Paul Goodyear and Matt Stands.

9pm-late, $20 advance. Beatbox, 314 11th St, SF. www.bearracuda.com

 

BEATPIG NYE

 

“Pop the Pork” with drag goddess Juanita More and Sidekick on the decks, plus hostess with the mostest chicharrones Walter, at fashionable gay sex dungeon the Powerhouse. Lots of flesh and pretty mess.

9pm-2am, $5–$10. Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom, SF. www.powerhouse-sf.com

 

BIG QUEER NYE

 

The gorgeous House of Babes presents this pink hip-hop blowout, hosted by Kelly Lovemonster and Krylon Superstar, with tunes by DJs Pink Lightning, Rapidfire, Boyfriend, Jenna Riot, davO, and more. Get on it!

9pm-late, $10 advance. f8, 1192 Folsom, SF. bigqueernye.eventbrite.com

 

BOOTIE NYE

 

Let’s mash all that 2013 ish up and fire only positive vibes — and kooky costumes! — into next year. DJ Adrian and Mysterious D’s inimitable mashup party pulls out all the stops. The theme of this four-room banger? Sh!t show, of course.

9pm-late, $30–$40. DNA Lounge, 375 11th St, SF. www.dnalounge.com

 

CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS

 

Lezzies! Queers! Friends! Lend me your New Years: This party at too-cute dyke bar the Lexington will cause you enough fun trouble for the rest of 2014. With DJs Footy and Janine Da Feen.

9pm-2am, free. Lexington Club, 3464 19th St, SF. www.lexingtonclub.com

 

DANNY BROWN

 

My favorite rapper of the moment brings his goofball cheer and anarchic antics to Mezzanine — who knows what’s gonna happen? With Traxamillion and Flatbush Zombies.

9pm-late, $45–$85. Mezzanine, 444 Jessie, SF. www.mezzaninesf.com

 

’80S NYE

 

The name of this party is far less creative than the wonderful music that will be playing — and that everyone will sing along to. Special guest: Kurt Harland from Information Society! Any guesses as to what they’ll play at midnight? (My money’s on the Human League’s “Fascination” — but you know Kurt will probably have to play “Pure Energy.”)

9pm-4am, $20. Cat Club, 1190 Folsom, SF. www.sfcatclub.com

 

HOLY GHOST!

 

Aw, who can resist the sweet, disco-haunted catchiness of this live NYC duo, who met cute in seventh grade. Fun, dancey times.

9pm, $30. Independent, 628 Divisadero, SF. www.theindependentsf.com

 

MAMMOTH MASQUERADE NYE

 

Burner royalty the Pink Mammoth crew takes over Mighty, with energetic UK duo Blond:ish headlining a “night of sexiness” (LOL why is it never a “night of sexiness” when there’s a good-looking male headliner?). It’ll be a rampager.

9pm-late, $40. Mighty, 119 Utah, SF. www.mighty119.com

 

MANGO NYE

 

The classic soulful ladies’ party is back, as El Rio celebrates a queer New Year. “Hot hip-hop and spicy Latin beats” from Olga T, Marcella, and more (plus yummy gumbo and burgers!) and an even hotter and spicier crowd.

8pm-2am, $15. El Rio, 3158 Mission, SF. www.tinyurl.com/mangonye2014

 

MATTHEW DEAR

 

The leather-jacketed, pompadoured pretty boy’s own music has an exquisite dark techno sound descended from Depeche Mode — when he DJs, as he will here, he expands that with an incredibly deep knowledge of house and techno (he’s from Detroit, duh). This Honey Soundsystem + Sunset + Public Works collaboration will bring out an amazing crowd of party freaks.

9pm-4am, $20–$40. Public Works, 131 Erie, SF. www.publicsf.com

 

MOBY

 

The annual Streets of SF party is visually stunning and draws great headliners (although the crowd is a little broad). This year, everyone’s favorite vegan techno-punk Moby graces us with his exacting presence on the turntables.

9pm-2am, $160. Fort Mason, 2 Marina Blvd, SF. streetsofsfnye-fb.eventbrite.com

 

MOM + WILL MAGID NYE

 

Motown on Mondays, one of SF’s best things, is teaming up with supercute global-funk trumpeter Will Magid and his crew (including vocalist Aima the Dreamer) for a very night of worldly sounds and classy cheer.

8pm-2am, $40. Local Edition, 691 Market, SF. www.momfam.com

 

NEW BOHEMIA

 

If you add classic ’90s electronic act Crystal Method to the Kink Armory (transformed from giant porn studio into a “kaleidoscopic wonderland” for the occasion), and pour on the high-flyin’ Vau de Vire Society troupe and Opel rave crew — you will definitely get a party, a new Bohemia, even.

9pm-4am, $50 and up. Kink Armory, 1800 Mission, SF. www.newbohemianye.com

 

NEW GEAR MASQUERADE BALL

 

Don your gay fetish apparel — oh wait, that was the last holiday. OK, hit the reset and don your gay fetish apparel again, as Casey Spooner and Ministat host (and DJ DAMnation DJs) this kinky-boots ring-in, the Eagle’s first.

9pm-2am, $15 in gear, $20 without. SF Eagle, 398 12th St, SF. www.sf-eagle.com

POP NYE

“Let love bloom” is the theme of this massive EDM-fest at Oracle Arena. Headiners include Nero, New World Punx, and Bingo Players.

6pm-2am, $100–$140, 18+. Oracle Arena, 7000 Coliseum Way, Oakl. www.popnye.com

 

PSYCHEMAGIK

 

Yes! One of my favorite ever DJ duos — their specialty is rare disco and funk edits mixed with sunny, psychedelic house vibes — comes to Monarch for what it’s calling the Extravaganza Ball (no vogueing, confusingly, but OK). Sleight of Hand, Greer, Shiny Objects, and more round off this deliciously breezy outtake on the past year.

9pm-late, $40–$100. Monarch, 101 Sixth St, SF. www.monarchsf.com

 

RISE & HARMONIZE

 

Start off the new year on a good foot, as the People crew spreads war soulful house vibes and celebrates the life of Nelson Mandela with a fabulously colorful crowd — a rainbow nation, indeed. With Jayvi Velasco, Patrick Wilson, Cecil, and many more.

9pm-3am, $10–$20. New Parish, 579 18th St, SF. www.thenewparish.com

 

SEA OF DREAMS

 

The annual sight-and-sound explosion moves to the cavernous Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, with a huge lineup to match: Thievery Corporation, Little Dragon, A-Trak, Dillon Francis, Emancipator, LowRIDERz, Minnesota, the dirtybird crew, and many, many more.

8pm-3am, $90 and up, 18+. Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, 99 Grove, SF. www.seaofdreamsnye.com

 

SOUL PARTY!

 

The Elbo Room brings its tremendously successful soul Saturdays to NYE. Do the mashed potato with Phengren Oswald, Paul Paul, and more.

9pm-2am, $20–$25. Elbo Room, 647 Valencia, SF. www.elbo.com

 

SF SYMPHONY MASQUERADE BALL

 

Style, people, style! This Symphony tradition may be one you need to save up for, but it’s dapper, dazzling, and just plain dandy. Everything from classic Viennese songbook tunes (with mezzo-soprano Sasha Cooke) to swing jams with the Peter Mintun Orchestra will be on offer (plus lots of free bubbly, duh.)

8pm-2am, $85-$195. Davies Symphony Hall, 201 Van Ness, SF. www.sfsymphony.org

 

WILDFIRE

 

Next year will be pure fiyah if these dub and bass masters from favorite crews like Surya Dub, Dutty Artz, Que Bajo, and Tormenta Tropical have any say in the matter (they do). Cumbia, dancehall, tropical, and afro sounds — plus techno in the yard! — with Chief Boima, Kush Arora, Geko Jones, Mano, Uproot Andy, Ushka, Oro11, and many more. Hotness.

9pm-2am, $10-$20. Riddim, 581 Fifth St, Oakl. www.riddimdancehall.com *

Year in Film: Jesse Hawthorne Ficks’ Eclectic 2013 Countdown

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16. Oldboy (Spike Lee, US) and Drug War (Johnnie To, China/Hong Kong) Two films from two of the hardest-working filmmakers in the biz. Though close to an hour and 20 minutes were butchered from Lee’s reimagining of Park Chan-wook’s 2003 film, it still offered an audacious look at entitlement in America. And To delivered yet another taut gangsters vs. cops drama that ranks up there with The Mission (1999) and PTU (2003).

15. Computer Chess (Andrew Bujalski, US) and Berberian Sound Studio (Peter Strickland, UK) The best psychedelic mindfucks of 2013.

14. Ida (Pawel Pawlikowski, Poland/Denmark) and Walker and Stray Dogs (Tsai Ming-liang, France/Taiwan) Both filmmakers embody the importance of taking one’s time to do it right. And whoever said transcendental cinema is just for the Dardenne brothers?

13. Like Father, Like Son (Hirokazu Kore-eda, Japan) and Mud (Jeff Nichols, US) Masterful, and medicine for my daddy issues.

12. Bastards (Claire Denis, France/Germany) and Moebius (Kim Ki-duk, South Korea) Jonas Mekas should be proud … Baudelairean cinema is alive and well. And I can’t get the faces of actors Vincent Lindon and Lee Eun-woo out of my head.

11. The Dirties (Matt Johnson, Canada) and Magic Magic (Sebastián Silva, Chile/US) I’m not sure which was nastier: Johnson’s bravado, Dawson’s Creek-meets-Man Bites Dog debut, or Michael Cera’s treatment of a losing-her-marbles Juno Temple in Silva’s Chilean tale.

10. Beijing Flickers (Zhang Yuan, China) and A Touch of Sin (Jia Zhang-ke, China/Japan) “Sixth Generation” Chinese cinema is vibrantly alive and well. Do yourself a favor and get wrapped up in these explosive films.

9. Blue Jasmine (Woody Allen, US) and Before Midnight (Richard Linklater, US) As John Waters says, “Woody Allen makes straight relationships seem interesting.” Not only should both Cate Blanchett and Sally Hawkins get Oscar nods for Blue Jasmine, but Andrew Dice Clay should actually win. Add to that Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke, and Richard Linklater’s most profound film of their trilogy — I can’t wait for the next three.

8. The World’s End (Edgar Wright, UK) and Sion Sono’s The Land of Hope (Sion Sono, Japan/Taiwan/UK/Germany) Both of these cult directors recognize that the loss of personal relationships are as serious as the end of the world. Multiple viewings are recommended.

7. Miss Lovely (Ashim Ahluwalia, India) and The Canyons (Paul Schrader, US) Exploitation cinema that practices what it preaches seems to always be misunderstood or disrespected upon its initial release. The fact that India even allowed Miss Lovely to be made is as exciting as Paul Schrader’s decision to cast troubled starlet Lindsay Lohan.

6. Manakamana (Stephanie Spray and Pacho Velez, Nepal/US) and Leviathan (Lucien Castaing-Taylor and Verena Paravel, France/UK/US) Be patient and rewards will come in these minimalist, deeply moving journeys.

5. Spring Breakers (Harmony Korine, US) and Michael Bay’s Pain & Gain (Michael Bay, US) Don’t stop with Korine’s ode to the ultimate American neon fever dream. I dare you to experience Bay’s pumped-up screwball satire. Added bonus: Dwayne Johnson turns in one of the funniest performances of the year.

4. 12 Years a Slave (Steve McQueen, US/UK) and Gravity (Alfonso Cuarón, US), plus Aningaaq (Jonás Cuarón, US) Mainstream cinema got it right this year and these Oscar-baiting films deserve more credit than just some awards. They might be changing a whole generation. If you haven’t watched the younger Cuarón’s Greenland-set Gravity companion short, go online ASAP. It’s as good as any feature this year.

3. Ulrich Seidl’s Paradise trilogy: Love, Faith, and Hope (Austria/France/Germany) Hands down, the best political-art-porn trilogy of the decade. I can’t choose which one is my favorite.

2. Norte, the End of History (Lav Diaz, Philippines) Diaz’s four-hour masterpiece about a group of existentialist 20-somethings encapsulates why I fell in love with cinema in the first place.

1. The Lone Ranger (Gore Verbinski, US) I will say it, and I will say it loudly: The Lone Ranger is the most subversive Hollywood film since Starship Troopers (1997). This uncompromising, revisionist Western is surprisingly ruthless with its all-American violence, and is highlighted by offbeat slapstick performances (by both Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer) and action scenes that audiences will get to uncover for decades to come. I’ve watched it four times, and it’s only gotten better with each viewing.

Jesse Hawthorne Ficks writes film festival reviews for the SF Bay Guardian, curates Midnites for Maniacs at the Castro and Roxie, and is the Film History Coordinator at Academy of Art University.

 

YEAR IN FILM: SAM STANDER’S TOP 13

1. Inside Llewyn Davis (Joel and Ethan Coen, US/France)

2. Frances Ha (Noah Baumbach, US)

3. John Dies at the End (Don Coscarelli, US)

4. Pacific Rim (Guillermo del Toro, US)

5. Stories We Tell (Sarah Polley, Canada)

6. Blue Jasmine (Woody Allen, US)

7. The Punk Singer (Sini Anderson, US)

8. The World’s End (Edgar Wright, UK)

9. [tie] Evil Dead (Fede Alvarez, US) and You’re Next (Adam Wingard, US)

10. [tie] The Bling Ring (Sofia Coppola, US/UK/France/Germany/Japan) and Spring Breakers (Harmony Korine, US)

11. The Act of Killing (Joshua Oppenheimer, Denmark/Norway/UK)

The Performant: To Boldly Go

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Resurrecting the Exquisite Corpse
 
Welcome to the Starship Dental Prize. A vessel so intrepid it dares to probe the darkest, dankest folds of outer space, not to mention the incandescent snarls of surrealistic whimsy. Fish. Squonk. Celine Dion. Her stalwart crew includes a sassy computer powered by illogic (Becky Hirschfeld), a vodka-swilling ensign Anton Anton (Bryce Byerley), psychic science officer Mentoo Fractosa (Chandler White), and a pelvic-thrust obsessed captain Oliver Clozoffe (Jody Frandle). Her mission, undetermined. Her story, as yet unwritten.

The third in an ongoing series of “Exquisite Corpse” theatrical events spearheaded by members of Foul Play Productions and Stage Werx, the evening’s production, entitled Defenders of Intergalactic Donuts: They Dared to Conquer Infinity, admittedly doesn’t have much to do with donuts in the end. Scripted on the spot by oddience members who are given a choice of random props and three minutes to pen a few crucial lines of dialogue without seeing the lines that come before (except the very last), the resultant play dwells at the crossroads of blind chance and organized chaos. Or as host and “Voice of Stage Directions” Mikl-em points out in his welcome speech, it’s a “piece of art … that no one would make on purpose.”  Purpose be damned, let’s play.

The Exquisite Corpse writing game was popularized by the surrealists in the early part of the 1900s, in which a word or series of words would be written on a blank page by the first player then passed on to the next, whose own contribution would follow a previously agreed upon sequence (i.e. noun adverb verb) or spring off of whatever the last line of the previous contribution was. Adapted into a theatrical format by the San Francisco Cacophony Society in the 1980s, the corpse has been recently revived down at Stage Werx as an occasional occurrence, taking on film noir and sci-fi tropes with equal verve. I’m still holding out for a musical (hint to organizers).
 
The first hour of the evening is one part cocktail party, one part scriptwriting boot camp, as attendees are first encouraged to mingle with the cast in order to get a bead on their personalities in order to write lines of dialogue for them. From the outrageous, androgynous intergalactic rock star Lord Lady Chameleon (Gerri Lawlor) to her estranged sister and chanteuse Camilla Chameleon (Christina Shonkwiler), to the television-obsessed Queen Vixxnord! (Dawn Corine) and her evil sidekick Professor Fritzdoctorsteinberg (Brendan Hill), each character has just enough backstory (not to mention improv training) to keep the party patter flowing along with a few choice libations and some groovy, space lounge tunage. After some chit-chat, each oddience member gets a crack at the script, and the results are predictably unpredictable.
 
As the actual play unfolds, part of the fun becomes trying to guess which person is responsible for penning the mort disturbed set of lines which include such gems as “I’ve got glitter in my ass-crack,” “I liked them better when they were dead,” “No tickling for you, I fear,” and “I’m feeling festive, we’re heading to planet Get-down-get-down.” Plot twists are as varied and muddled as the frantic search for the correct props becomes, but some universal truths do still manage to shine through. Rock stardom may have little to do with actual talent but much to do with seduction. Desire is a universal drive. Always look on the bright side of life (whistle, whistle). If you’ve got it, flaunt it … and if you flaunt it, make sure people are wearing sunglasses. Hiccup. Weevil. Splat.

Promo: BRAVA’s NYE Comedy Fiesta tickets are on sale now!

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BRAVA’s Annual Comedy Fiesta will be the Mission District’s one stop destination to get your laugh and your dance on!

Join Marga Gomez (LOGO Network, GLAAD Award Winner) and special guests (2013 Best of the Bay winner) Dhaya Lakshminarayanan and Micia Mosely. Mario Montes (Comedy Bodega) will emcee as we laugh our way into 2014.  The Comedy Fiesta will be immediately followed by a Countdown Party with DJ Mark Mark and free champagne for all at midnight.

Buy your tickets NOW at brava.org!

Tuesday, December 31 at 9pm @ BRAVA Theatre Center, 2781 24th St., SF

Music Listing: Dec. 18-24, 2013

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WEDNESDAY 18

ROCK

Bottom of the Hill: 1233 17th St., San Francisco. Holograms, TV Ghost, G. Green, 9 p.m., $10-$12.

Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. The Sweet Bones, Sam Code & The Gums, Edge City Ruins, Johns, Jack Graves, 9 p.m., $5-$7.

Cafe Du Nord: 2170 Market, San Francisco. MoonFox, Spider Heart, Lady Stardust, DJ Neil Martinson, 8:30 p.m., $8.

The Chapel: 777 Valencia St., San Francisco. Holidaze with The Blank Tapes, The Electric Magpie, The Spiral Electric, Assateague, 8 p.m., $12.

El Rio: 3158 Mission, San Francisco. Neon Anyway, The Threads S.F., Clementine’s Day, 8 p.m., $5.

Hemlock Tavern: 1131 Polk, San Francisco. The Kaizoku, Largesse, 8:30 p.m., $5.

Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. The Shams Eire, The Guverment, Another Tangent, Paul Magill, 8 p.m., $5.

The Knockout: 3223 Mission, San Francisco. The Riflemen, Nasty Christmas, Names, Richard Toomer, 9:30 p.m., $6.

Milk Bar: 1840 Haight, San Francisco. Owl Paws, Yassou Benedict, Fell Runner, Sunhaze, 9 p.m., $5.

DANCE

Beaux: 2344 Market, San Francisco. “BroMance: A Night Out for the Fellas,” 9 p.m., free.

The Cafe: 2369 Market, San Francisco. “Sticky Wednesdays,” w/ DJ Mark Andrus, 8 p.m., free.

Cat Club: 1190 Folsom, San Francisco. “Bondage A Go Go,” w/ DJs Damon, Tomas Diablo, & guests, 9:30 p.m., $5-$10.

Club X: 715 Harrison, San Francisco. “Electro Pop Rocks: The EPR Nightmare Before Christmas,” 18+ dance night, 9 p.m., $15 advance.

The EndUp: 401 Sixth St., San Francisco. “Tainted Techno Trance,” 10 p.m.

F8: 1192 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Housepitality,” w/ Guillaume & The Coutu Dumonts, Dave Aju, Tyrel Williams, Mike Bee, 9 p.m., $5-$10.

Harlot: 46 Minna, San Francisco. “Qoöl,” 5 p.m.

Infusion Lounge: 124 Ellis, San Francisco. “Indulgence,” 10 p.m.

Lookout: 3600 16th St., San Francisco. “What?,” w/ resident DJ Tisdale and guests, 7 p.m., free.

Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “Rock the Spot,” 9 p.m., free.

Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. “Burn Down the Disco,” w/ DJs 2shy-shy & Melt w/U, Third Wednesday of every month, 9 p.m., free.

MatrixFillmore: 3138 Fillmore, San Francisco. “Reload,” w/ DJ Big Bad Bruce, 10 p.m., free.

Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Booty Call,” w/ Juanita More, Joshua J, guests, 9 p.m., $3.

Showdown: 10 Sixth St., San Francisco. “Nokturnal,” w/ DJs Coyle & Gonya, Third Wednesday of every month, 9 p.m., free.

HIP-HOP

Skylark Bar: 3089 16th St., San Francisco. “Mixtape Wednesday,” w/ resident DJs Strategy, Junot, Herb Digs, & guests, 9 p.m., $5.

Slate Bar: 2925 16th St., San Francisco. “Special Blend,” w/ resident DJs LazyBoy & Mr. Murdock, 9 p.m., free.

ACOUSTIC

Cafe Divine: 1600 Stockton, San Francisco. Craig Ventresco & Meredith Axelrod, 7 p.m., free.

Club Deluxe: 1511 Haight, San Francisco. Happy Hour Bluegrass, 6:30 p.m., free.

Fiddler’s Green: 1333 Columbus, San Francisco. Terry Savastano, Every other Wednesday, 9:30 p.m., free/donation.

Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. Annie Corbett, 9 p.m.

The Rite Spot Cafe: 2099 Folsom, San Francisco. Quinn DeVeaux, 8:30 p.m., free.

JAZZ

Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. Gaucho, Eric Garland’s Jazz Session, The Amnesiacs, 7 p.m., free.

Burritt Room: 417 Stockton St., San Francisco. Terry Disley’s Rocking Jazz Trio, 6 p.m., free.

The Independent: 628 Divisadero, San Francisco. Charlie Hunter & Scott Amendola Duo, DJ Harry Duncan, 8 p.m., $20.

Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Charles Unger Experience, 7:30 p.m., free.

Le Colonial: 20 Cosmo, San Francisco. The Cosmo Alleycats featuring Ms. Emily Wade Adams, 7 p.m., free.

Revolution Cafe: 3248 22nd St., San Francisco. Michael Parsons Trio, Every other Wednesday, 8:30 p.m., free/donation.

Savanna Jazz Club: 2937 Mission, San Francisco. “Cat’s Corner,” 9 p.m., $10.

Sheba Piano Lounge: 1419 Fillmore, San Francisco. Fran Sholly, 8 p.m.

Top of the Mark: One Nob Hill, 999 California, San Francisco. Ricardo Scales, Wednesdays, 6:30-11:30 p.m., $5.

Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Anya Malkiel, 7:30 p.m., free.

INTERNATIONAL

Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. Timba Dance Party, w/ DJ WaltDigz, 10 p.m., $5.

Cafe Cocomo: 650 Indiana, San Francisco. “Bachatalicious,” w/ DJs Good Sho & Rodney, 7 p.m., $5-$10.

Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. VOENA: Voices of the Season, 7 p.m., $14-$21.

BLUES

Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. HowellDevine, 8 & 10 p.m., $15.

The Royal Cuckoo: 3202 Mission, San Francisco. Big Bones & Chris Siebert, 7:30 p.m., free.

The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Leah Tysse, 9:30 p.m.

SOUL

Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. “Soul Train Revival,” w/ Ziek McCarter, Third Wednesday of every month, 9:30 p.m., $5.

Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. Myron & E, New Love Soul Revue, The Selecter DJ Kirk, 9 p.m., $8.

THURSDAY 19

ROCK

Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. Caught a Ghost, The Coffis Brothers & The Mountain Men, 9:30 p.m., $8-$10.

Bottom of the Hill: 1233 17th St., San Francisco. Good Riddance, Cobra Skulls, Western Addiction, 9 p.m., $13-$15.

Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. Midnight Nasties, Working from Home, 9 p.m., $5-$7.

DNA Lounge: 375 11th St., San Francisco. Blood on the Dance Floor, Davey Suicide, The Relapse Symphony, Haley Rose, Lionfight, Kat Haus, 7 p.m., $17-$20.

S.F. Eagle: 398 12th St., San Francisco. Victory & Associates, Sit Kitty Sit, Winter Teeth, The Secret Secretaries, 9 p.m., $8.

Hemlock Tavern: 1131 Polk, San Francisco. Everyone Is Dirty, Frozen Folk, Light Thieves, 8:30 p.m., $6.

Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. Manzanita Falls, Ash Thursday, 9 p.m., $7.

Milk Bar: 1840 Haight, San Francisco. Should We Run, The Tropics, Gotaway Girl, 8:30 p.m., $8.

DANCE

Abbey Tavern: 4100 Geary, San Francisco. DJ Schrobi-Girl, 10 p.m., free.

Audio Discotech: 316 11th St., San Francisco. “Trap City,” w/ Kennedy Jones, UltraViolet, Harris Pilton, Napsty, Lé Swndle, more, 10 p.m., $10-$20.

Aunt Charlie’s Lounge: 133 Turk, San Francisco. “Tubesteak Connection,” w/ DJ Bus Station John, 9 p.m., $5-$7.

The Cafe: 2369 Market, San Francisco. “¡Pan Dulce!,” 9 p.m., $5.

Cat Club: 1190 Folsom, San Francisco. “Throwback Thursdays,” ‘80s night with DJs Damon, Steve Washington, Dangerous Dan, and guests, 9 p.m., $6 (free before 9:30 p.m.).

The Cellar: 685 Sutter, San Francisco. “XO,” w/ DJs Astro & Rose, 10 p.m., $5.

Club X: 715 Harrison, San Francisco. “The Crib,” 9:30 p.m., $10, 18+.

Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. “Afrolicious,” w/ DJs Pleasuremaker, Señor Oz, and live guests, 9:30 p.m., $5-$8.

F8: 1192 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Beat Church,” w/ Knowa Lusion, Tiger Fresh, Spekt1, Releece, Morzfeen, more, 10 p.m., $5-$10.

Harlot: 46 Minna, San Francisco. Marques Wyatt, 9 p.m.

Infusion Lounge: 124 Ellis, San Francisco. “I Love Thursdays,” 10 p.m., $10.

John Colins: 138 Minna, San Francisco. “SoLuna,” w/ resident DJ Miquel Penn, Third Thursday of every month, 9 p.m., free.

Laszlo: 2532 Mission, San Francisco. “Werk It,” w/ DJ Kool Karlo, Third Thursday of every month, 9 p.m., free.

Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “Night Fever,” 9 p.m., $5 after 10 p.m.

Monarch: 101 6th St., San Francisco. Together, Typhoon Haiyan benefit with Worthy, Atish, Bells & Whistles, Elz, Papa Lu, Joey Alaniz, DJ Bluz, DJ Vinroc, Mr. E, The Whooligan, more., 7 p.m., donation.

Neck of the Woods: 406 Clement St., San Francisco. Blaus, on the downstairs stage, 10 p.m. continues through Dec. 26, free with RSVP.

Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Throwback Thursday,” w/ DJ Jay-R, 9 p.m., free.

Raven: 1151 Folsom St., San Francisco. “1999,” w/ VJ Mark Andrus, 8 p.m., free.

Rickshaw Stop: 155 Fell, San Francisco. “Popscene,” w/ Wild Cub, Aaron Axelsen, 10 p.m., $13-$15.

Ruby Skye: 420 Mason, San Francisco. “Awakening,” w/ Adrian Lux, 9 p.m., $20-$30 advance.

The Tunnel Top: 601 Bush, San Francisco. “Tunneltop,” DJs Avalon and Derek ease you into the weekend with a cool and relaxed selection of tunes spun on vinyl, 10 p.m., free.

Underground SF: 424 Haight, San Francisco. “Bubble,” 10 p.m., free.

Vessel: 85 Campton, San Francisco. “Base,” w/ DJs Alessandro, Rooz, and John Kaberna, 10 p.m., $5-$10.

HIP-HOP

1015 Folsom: 1015 Folsom St., San Francisco. Yasiin Bey aka Mos Def, Kev Choice, Jahi, DJ D-Sharp, Mr. E, DJ Leydis, 9 p.m., $25-$35 advance.

Eastside West: 3154 Fillmore, San Francisco. “Throwback Thursdays,” w/ DJ Madison, 9 p.m., free.

The EndUp: 401 Sixth St., San Francisco. “Cypher,” w/ resident DJ Big Von, 10 p.m., $5-$10.

Showdown: 10 Sixth St., San Francisco. “Tougher Than Ice,” w/ DJs Vin Sol, Ruby Red I, and Jeremy Castillo, Third Thursday of every month, 10 p.m.

Skylark Bar: 3089 16th St., San Francisco. “Peaches,” w/ lady DJs DeeAndroid, Lady Fingaz, That Girl, Umami, Inkfat, and Andre, 10 p.m., free.

ACOUSTIC

Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. The Amigos Band, Ben Flocks, 7:30 p.m., $7-$10.

Atlas Cafe: 3049 20th St., San Francisco. Bluegrass & Old-Time Music Jam Session, 8 p.m., free.

Bazaar Cafe: 5927 California, San Francisco. Acoustic Open Mic, 7 p.m.

Cigar Bar & Grill: 850 Montgomery, San Francisco. The Neckbeard Boys, 8 p.m.

The Independent: 628 Divisadero, San Francisco. Nat Keefe Concert Carnival, w/ Tim Carbone, Tim Flannery, The T Sisters, Melody Walker & Jacob Groopman, Matt Sharkey, The Coeds, members of Hot Buttered Rum, DJ Shooey, more, 8 p.m., $20-$35.

The Lost Church: 65 Capp St., San Francisco. The Scrap on Capp: Songwriter Grudge Match, w/ Maurice Tani vs. Paul Griffiths, 8 p.m., $10.

Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. Parker Gibbs’ Annual Holiday Craptacular, S.F. Food Bank can drive featuring Marc & The Casuals, Mark Eitzel, Kelley Stoltz, Paula Frazer, Joel Robinow, Justin Frahm, more, 7 p.m., $15 plus non-perishable food item.

Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. Emperor Norton Céilí Band, 9 p.m.

JAZZ

Blush! Wine Bar: 476 Castro, San Francisco. Doug Martin’s Avatar Ensemble, 7:30 p.m., free.

Bottle Cap: 1707 Powell, San Francisco. The North Beach Sound with Ned Boynton, Jordan Samuels, and Tom Vickers, 7 p.m., free.

Cafe Claude: 7 Claude, San Francisco. Dick Fregulia’s Good Vibes Trio, 7:30 p.m., free.

Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Eugene Pliner Quartet with Tod Dickow, First and Third Thursday of every month, 7:30 p.m., free.

Le Colonial: 20 Cosmo, San Francisco. Steve Lucky & The Rhumba Bums, 7:30 p.m.

The Lucky Horseshoe: 453 Cortland, San Francisco. Ralph Carney’s Serious Jass Project, 9 p.m.

Pier 23 Cafe: Pier 23, San Francisco. Grant Levin Group, 7 p.m., free.

The Royal Cuckoo: 3202 Mission, San Francisco. Charlie Siebert & Chris Siebert, 7:30 p.m., free.

Savanna Jazz Club: 2937 Mission, San Francisco. Savanna Jazz Jam with Eddy Ramirez, 7:30 p.m., $5.

Top of the Mark: One Nob Hill, 999 California, San Francisco. Stompy Jones, 7:30 p.m., $10.

Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Barbara Ochoa, 7:30 p.m., free.

INTERNATIONAL

Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. “Pa’Lante!,” w/ Juan G, El Kool Kyle, Mr. Lucky, 10 p.m., $5.

Cafe Cocomo: 650 Indiana, San Francisco. Bembe, DJ Good Sho, 8 p.m., $12.

Jewish Community Center of San Francisco: 3200 California, San Francisco. “Celebrating Cuba,” w/ Vission Latina, 7 p.m., free with RSVP (required), arts@jccsf.org.

Pachamama Restaurant: 1630 Powell, San Francisco. “Jueves Flamencos,” 8 p.m., free.

Sheba Piano Lounge: 1419 Fillmore, San Francisco. Gary Flores & Descarga Caliente, 8 p.m.

Verdi Club: 2424 Mariposa, San Francisco. The Verdi Club Milonga, w/ Christy Coté, DJ Emilio Flores, guests, 9 p.m., $10-$15.

REGGAE

Pissed Off Pete’s: 4528 Mission St., San Francisco. Reggae Thursdays, w/ resident DJ Jah Yzer, 9 p.m., free.

Slim’s: 333 11th St., San Francisco. Bayonics, Native Elements, Da Mainland, DJ Mr. Lucky, 9 p.m., $14.

BLUES

50 Mason Social House: 50 Mason, San Francisco. Bill Phillippe, 5:30 p.m., free.

Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Jules Leyhe, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $15.

The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Chris Ford, Third Thursday of every month, 4 p.m.; Craig Horton, 9:30 p.m.

COUNTRY

The Parlor: 2801 Leavenworth, San Francisco. “Twang Honky Tonk & Country Jamboree,” w/ DJ Little Red Rodeo, 7 p.m., free.

EXPERIMENTAL

The Luggage Store: 1007 Market, San Francisco. Dave DeFilippo, Joshua Marshall, 8 p.m., $6-$10.

FUNK

Cafe Du Nord: 2170 Market, San Francisco. Black Christmas with the Afrofunk Experience & Broun Fellinis, 8:30 p.m., $8.

SOUL

Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. “Sugar Snap,” w/ DJ JZA, Third Thursday of every month, 6 p.m., free; “Soul: It’s the Real Thing,” 11 p.m., free.

Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. Sweet Soul Christmas with Greg Adams & East Bay Soul, 8 p.m., $25.

FRIDAY 20

ROCK

Bottom of the Hill: 1233 17th St., San Francisco. Eric McFadden & Friends, The Pleasure Kills, The Campbell Apartment, 9:30 p.m., $10-$12.

Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. Freestone Peaches, Pat Nevins, 9 p.m., $7-$10.

Cafe Du Nord: 2170 Market, San Francisco. Icewater, Eleanor Friedberger, Michael & The Strange Land, Proceeds benefit a fund established in Grant Martin’s memory to provide music assistance for underprivileged students., 9:30 p.m., $10-$15.

El Rio: 3158 Mission, San Francisco. Friday Live: Steel Hotcakes, DJ Emotions, 10 p.m., free.

Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. The El Vez & Rosie Flores Mexmas Show, w/ Toshio Hirano, DJ Sid Presley, 9 p.m., $15-$18.

Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. The Night Falls, The Desert Line, The Beggars Who Give, Bears for Sharks, 9 p.m., $8.

The Independent: 628 Divisadero, San Francisco. The Growlers, The Abigails, Mystic Braves, 9 p.m., $20.

Slim’s: 333 11th St., San Francisco. Exodus, Nails, Hellfire, 8 p.m., $25.

DANCE

1015 Folsom: 1015 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Re:Creation,” w/ Purity Ring (DJ set), Giraffage, Sweater Beats, Insightful, B. Lewis, Pony Bwoy, DJ Dials, more, 10 p.m., $15-$20 advance.

Audio Discotech: 316 11th St., San Francisco. Pezzner, Fred Everything, 9:30 p.m., $10 advance.

BeatBox: 314 11th St., San Francisco. “Bears in the Dark,” w/ DJ John LePage, 10 p.m., $5-$10.

Cafe Flore: 2298 Market, San Francisco. “Kinky Beats,” w/ DJ Sergio, 10 p.m., free.

The Cafe: 2369 Market, San Francisco. “Boy Bar,” w/ DJ Matt Consola, 9 p.m., $5.

Cat Club: 1190 Folsom, San Francisco. “Violator: A Depeche Mode Tribute Night,” w/ DJs Tomas Diablo, Daniel Skellington, and Sage, 9:30 p.m., $7 ($4 before 10 p.m.).

The Cellar: 685 Sutter, San Francisco. “F.T.S.: For the Story,” 10 p.m.

DNA Lounge: 375 11th St., San Francisco. “The End,” w/ Hieroglyphics, Wick-it the Instigator, Ill-Esha, K Theory, Sugarpill, Singularity, Sam F, Mutrix, Stylust Beats, Clark Kent, LabRat, J. Lately, many more, 8 p.m., $25-$35.

The EndUp: 401 Sixth St., San Francisco. “Fever,” 10 p.m., free before midnight.

The Grand Nightclub: 520 4th St., San Francisco. “We Rock Fridays,” 9:30 p.m.

Infusion Lounge: 124 Ellis, San Francisco. “Escape Fridays,” 10 p.m., $20.

Lookout: 3600 16th St., San Francisco. “HYSL,” 9 p.m., $3.

Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “That ‘80s Show,” w/ DJs Dave Paul & Jeff Harris, Third Friday of every month, 9 p.m., $5.

Manor West: 750 Harrison, San Francisco. “Fortune Fridays,” w/ DJ Solarz & Marcus Lee, 10 p.m.

MatrixFillmore: 3138 Fillmore, San Francisco. “F-Style Fridays,” w/ DJ Jared-F, 9 p.m.

Monarch: 101 6th St., San Francisco. “Disco Knights,” w/ Wolf + Lamb, DJ M3, Anthony Mansfield, 10 p.m., $15-$20 advance.

OMG: 43 6th St., San Francisco. “Release,” 9 p.m., free before 11 p.m.

Public Works: 161 Erie, San Francisco. “Odyssey,” w/ Matrixxman, Vin Sol, Robin Simmons (in the OddJob loft), 9:30 p.m., $10.

Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Pump: Worq It Out Fridays,” w/ resident DJ Christopher B, 9 p.m., $3.

Ruby Skye: 420 Mason, San Francisco. Fleming & Lawrence, aka John 00 Fleming & Christopher Lawrence, 9 p.m., $20-$25 advance.

Slate Bar: 2925 16th St., San Francisco. “A Darling Nikki/Hella Gay Soirée,” w/ DJs Durt, Finn, Black, and G-Star, 9 p.m., $5.

Underground SF: 424 Haight, San Francisco. “Bionic,” 10 p.m., $5.

Vessel: 85 Campton, San Francisco. Autoérotique, Justin Milla, 10 p.m., $10-$30.

Wish: 1539 Folsom, San Francisco. “Bridge the Gap,” w/ resident DJ Don Kainoa, Fridays, 6-10 p.m., free; “Depth,” w/ resident DJs Sharon Buck & Greg Yuen, Third Friday of every month, 10 p.m., free.

HIP-HOP

EZ5: 682 Commercial, San Francisco. “Decompression,” Fridays, 5-9 p.m.

John Colins: 138 Minna, San Francisco. “Juicy,” w/ DJ Ry Toast, Third Friday of every month, 10 p.m., $5 (free before 11 p.m.).

Mighty: 119 Utah, San Francisco. Mighty 10-Year Anniversary, w/ Triple Threat DJs Shortkut, Apollo, and Vinroc, 9 p.m., $5 (free before midnight with RSVP).

Public Works: 161 Erie, San Francisco. DJ Z-Trip, DJ Goldenchyld, J-Boogie, Ren the Vinyl Archaeologist, 9 p.m., $18.

Rickshaw Stop: 155 Fell, San Francisco. American Tripps Hip-Hop & Ping Pong: Ho-Ho-Ho Edition, w/ DJ Beauregard, 8 p.m., $5-$7.

Showdown: 10 Sixth St., San Francisco. “Fresh to Def Fridays: A Tribute to Yo! MTV Raps,” w/ resident DJs Boom Bostic, Inkfat, and Hay Hay, Third Friday of every month, 10 p.m.

ACOUSTIC

Bazaar Cafe: 5927 California, San Francisco. John Elliott, 7 p.m.

The Chapel: 777 Valencia St., San Francisco. KALX Solstice in Stereo, w/ Foxtails Brigade, The Seshen, Farallons, 9 p.m., $12-$14.

Mercury Cafe: 201 Octavia, San Francisco. Toshio Hirano, Third Friday of every month, 7:30 p.m., free, all ages.

Old First Presbyterian Church: 1751 Sacramento, San Francisco. Golden Bough: A Celtic Yuletide Celebration, 8 p.m., $14-$17.

Pa’ina: 1865 Post St., San Francisco. Ukulenny, 7 p.m.

Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. “Bluegrass Bonanza,” w/ The Dust Bowl Cavaliers, Nobody from Nashville, 9 p.m., $6-$10.

The Sports Basement: 610 Old Mason, San Francisco. “Breakfast with Enzo,” w/ Enzo Garcia, 10 a.m., $5.

JAZZ

Atlas Cafe: 3049 20th St., San Francisco. ESP Quartet, 7:30 p.m., free.

Beach Chalet Brewery & Restaurant: 1000 Great Highway, San Francisco. Johnny Smith, 8 p.m., free.

Bird & Beckett: 653 Chenery, San Francisco. The Third Quartet, Third Friday of every month, 5:30 p.m., free.

Cafe Claude: 7 Claude, San Francisco. Marcus Shelby Trio, 7:30 p.m., free.

Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Charles Unger Experience, 7:30 p.m., free.

The Palace Hotel: 2 New Montgomery, San Francisco. The Klipptones, 8 p.m., free.

Pier 23 Cafe: Pier 23, San Francisco. Hard Bop Collective, 8 p.m., free.

Revolution Cafe: 3248 22nd St., San Francisco. Emily Anne’s Delights, Third Friday of every month, 8:45 p.m., free/donation.

Savanna Jazz Club: 2937 Mission, San Francisco. Benn Bacot, 7:30 p.m., $8.

Top of the Mark: One Nob Hill, 999 California, San Francisco. Black Market Jazz Orchestra, 9 p.m., $10.

Verdi Club: 2424 Mariposa, San Francisco. Sixth Annual Stompy Jones Sleigh Ride, 8 p.m., $15.

Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. The Count Basie Orchestra, 8 & 10 p.m., $29-$35.

Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Joyce Grant, 8 p.m., free.

INTERNATIONAL

Asiento: 2730 21st St., San Francisco. “Kulcha Latino,” w/ resident selectors Stepwise, Ras Rican, and El Kool Kyle, Third Friday of every month, 9 p.m., free.

Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. Qumbia Qrew, Third Friday of every month, 8 p.m.; “Paris-Dakar African Mix Coupe Decale,” 10 p.m., $5.

Cafe Cocomo: 650 Indiana, San Francisco. Taste Fridays, featuring local cuisine tastings, salsa bands, dance lessons, and more, 7:30 p.m., $15 (free entry to patio).

Cigar Bar & Grill: 850 Montgomery, San Francisco. Conjunto Picante, 10 p.m.

Pachamama Restaurant: 1630 Powell, San Francisco. Cuban Night with Fito Reinoso, 7:30 & 9:15 p.m., $15-$18.

Red Poppy Art House: 2698 Folsom, San Francisco. A Night of Latin American Music, 7:30 p.m., $10-$15.

REGGAE

Gestalt Haus: 3159 16th St., San Francisco. “Music Like Dirt,” 7:30 p.m., free.

BLUES

Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Rod Piazza & The Mighty Flyers, 7:30 & 10 p.m., $24.

Lou’s Fish Shack: 300 Jefferson St., San Francisco. Eldon Brown, 6:30 p.m.

The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Highwater Blues, 4 p.m.; Chris Cobb, 9:30 p.m.

FUNK

Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. “Hella Tight,” w/ resident DJs Vinnie Esparza, Jonny Deeper, & Asti Spumanti, Third Friday of every month, 10 p.m., $5.

Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. Bad Jellyfish, 9:30 p.m., $20 advance.

Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. “Loose Joints,” w/ DJs Centipede, Damon Bell, and Tom Thump, 10 p.m., $5-$10.

SOUL

Edinburgh Castle: 950 Geary, San Francisco. “Soul Crush,” w/ DJ Serious Leisure, 10 p.m., free.

Feinstein’s at the Nikko: 222 Mason St., San Francisco. “Love Hangover: LaChanze Sings Diana Ross,” Fri., Dec. 20, 8 p.m.; Sat., Dec. 21, 7 p.m., $30-$50.

The Knockout: 3223 Mission, San Francisco. “Oldies Night,” W/ DJs Primo, Daniel, Lost Cat, and friends, Third Friday of every month, 10 p.m., $5.

The Royal Cuckoo: 3202 Mission, San Francisco. Freddie Hughes & Chris Burns, 7:30 p.m., free.

SATURDAY 21

ROCK

Bottom of the Hill: 1233 17th St., San Francisco. Happy Body Slow Brain, Facing New York, Gavin Castleton, Via Coma, 9 p.m., $10-$12.

Cafe Du Nord: 2170 Market, San Francisco. Beware of Darkness, Down & Outlaws, 9:30 p.m., $10.

El Rio: 3158 Mission, San Francisco. The Atomic Machines, The Shams Eire, Fenton Coolfoot & The Right Time, 9 p.m., $8.

Hemlock Tavern: 1131 Polk, San Francisco. Hungry Skinny, Saturn Cats, Brasil, 9:30 p.m., $6.

The Independent: 628 Divisadero, San Francisco. The Growlers, The Abigails, Cat Signs, 9 p.m., $20.

Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. Windham Flat, That’s Not Her, 7:30 p.m., $8.

The Riptide: 3639 Taraval, San Francisco. The Honey Wilders, 9:30 p.m., free.

Slim’s: 333 11th St., San Francisco. The Vandals’ 18th Annual Christmas Formal with Emily’s Army, The Blast, 9 p.m., $18.

Thee Parkside: 1600 17th St., San Francisco. Youth Brigade, Civil War Rust, Rats in the Wall, Bum City Saints, 9 p.m., $12.

DANCE

Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. “Pance Darty,” w/ Jjaaxxnn & Duke, Third Saturday of every month, 9 p.m., $7.

Audio Discotech: 316 11th St., San Francisco. Felix Da Housecat, Andrew Phelan, Mario Dubbz, 9:30 p.m., $10 advance.

BeatBox: 314 11th St., San Francisco. “Evolution,” w/ DJ Alexander, 10 p.m.

Cafe Flore: 2298 Market, San Francisco. “Bistrotheque,” w/ DJ Ken Vulsion, 8 p.m., free.

Cat Club: 1190 Folsom, San Francisco. “New Wave City: Numan League – A Double-Synth Tribute to Gary Numan and the Human League,” w/ DJs Skip, Shindog, Low-Life, Kenny, and Moonshine, 9 p.m., $7-$12.

The Chapel: 777 Valencia St., San Francisco. The Range, 9 p.m., $12.

DNA Lounge: 375 11th St., San Francisco. “Bootie S.F.,” w/ Entyme, MyKill, Meikee Magnetic, Mixtress ShiZaam, more., 9 p.m., $10-$15.

The EndUp: 401 Sixth St., San Francisco. “The Show,” w/ Syd Gris, DJ Denise, Dragn’fly, Influence, Ryan Cavalier, Bill Samuels, Ben Seagren, Lise Rose, Beau Kelly, 10 p.m.

F8: 1192 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Team Supreme S.F.,” w/ B. Lewis, Colta, Mike Gao, Jnthn Stein, Kenny Segal, Ruff Draft, more, 9 p.m., $5-$15.

Il Pirata: 2007 16th St., San Francisco. “Requiem,” w/ DJs Xiola, Owen, and Dire DeLorean, 10 p.m.

Infusion Lounge: 124 Ellis, San Francisco. “Social Addiction,” Third Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., $20.

Lookout: 3600 16th St., San Francisco. “Bounce!,” 9 p.m., $3.

Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “Fringe,” w/ DJs Blondie K & subOctave, Third Saturday of every month, 9 p.m., $5 (free before 10 p.m.).

Manor West: 750 Harrison, San Francisco. “Chemistry Saturdays,” w/ DJ Scooter, 10 p.m.

Mezzanine: 444 Jessie, San Francisco. “Fools in the Night: Winter Wonderland,” w/ Viceroy, Mystery Skulls, FM Attack, Amble, 9 p.m., $15.

Mighty: 119 Utah, San Francisco. “Salted,” w/ Grant Nelson, Miguel Migs, Julius Papp, 10 p.m., $10 before 11 p.m.

Milk Bar: 1840 Haight, San Francisco. “The Queen Is Dead: A Tribute to the Music of Morrissey & The Smiths,” w/ DJ Mario Muse & guests, Third Saturday of every month, 9 p.m.

Monarch: 101 6th St., San Francisco. “Night Moves,” w/ Kevin Knapp, Jimmy B, Brothers in Arms (J-Boogie & Deejay Theory), Papa Lu, 9 p.m., $10-$20.

Powerhouse: 1347 Folsom, San Francisco. “Beatpig,” Third Saturday of every month, 9 p.m.

Public Works: 161 Erie, San Francisco. “Deep Blue,” w/ Tini, DJ Rooz, more (in the main room), 9:30 p.m., $10-$20; “All Night Long,” w/ DJ Garth (in the OddJob Loft), 10 p.m., $7 advance.

Rickshaw Stop: 155 Fell, San Francisco. “Gameboi S.F.: The Annual Xmas Party,” w/ VJ LaRock, 9:30 p.m., $8-$15.

Ruby Skye: 420 Mason, San Francisco. “World Town: 6-Year Anniversary,” w/ Henrix, Trevor Simpson, 9 p.m., $20 advance.

Slate Bar: 2925 16th St., San Francisco. “Smiths Night S.F.,” w/ The Certain People Crew, Third Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., $5.

Slide: 430 Mason, San Francisco. “Luminous,” w/ DJ Zhaldee, Third Saturday of every month, 9 p.m.

The Stud: 399 Ninth St., San Francisco. Squrrrl Gives Back, Larkin Street Youth Services benefit with DJs Trevor Sigler, Joe Pickett, and Ben Holder., 9 p.m., $5.

Vessel: 85 Campton, San Francisco. EDX, 10 p.m., $10 advance.

HIP-HOP

111 Minna Gallery: 111 Minna St., San Francisco. “Shine,” Third Saturday of every month, 10 p.m.

Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. Rappin’ 4-Tay, RBL Posse, Cellski, Equipto, 10 p.m., $8-$10.

John Colins: 138 Minna, San Francisco. “The Bump,” w/ The Whooligan, Third Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., free.

The Knockout: 3223 Mission, San Francisco. “The Booty Bassment,” w/ DJs Dimitri Dickinson & Ryan Poulsen, Third Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., $5.

Showdown: 10 Sixth St., San Francisco. “Purple,” w/ resident DJs ChaunceyCC & Party Pablo, Third Saturday of every month, 10 p.m.

Skylark Bar: 3089 16th St., San Francisco. “Night Swim,” w/ resident DJ Mackswell, Third Saturday of every month, 10 p.m.

ACOUSTIC

Atlas Cafe: 3049 20th St., San Francisco. Craig Ventresco & Meredith Axelrod, Saturdays, 4-6 p.m., free.

Bazaar Cafe: 5927 California, San Francisco. Sweet Hayah, Samuel Roland, Olivia Clayton, 7 p.m.

Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. Bonnie Sun, Jean Marc Enriquez, Gyasi Ross, 9 p.m., $10.

The Lost Church: 65 Capp St., San Francisco. Eight Belles, Jameson Swanagon, 8 p.m., $10.

The Lucky Horseshoe: 453 Cortland, San Francisco. Xmas with the Bogues, 9 p.m.

Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. Daniel Seidel, 9 p.m.

The Rite Spot Cafe: 2099 Folsom, San Francisco. Toshio Hirano, 9 p.m., free.

St. Cyprian’s Episcopal Church: 2097 Turk, San Francisco. Celtic Winter Solstice Concert with Four Shillings Short & Brocelïande, 7:30 p.m., $10-$12.

JAZZ

Cafe Claude: 7 Claude, San Francisco. Monroe Trio, 7:30 p.m., free.

Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Bill “Doc” Webster & Jazz Nostalgia, 7:30 p.m., free.

Pier 23 Cafe: Pier 23, San Francisco. Legends & Friends, 8 p.m., free.

The Royal Cuckoo: 3202 Mission, San Francisco. Jules Broussard, Danny Armstrong, and Chris Siebert, 7:30 p.m., free.

Savanna Jazz Club: 2937 Mission, San Francisco. Savanna Jazz Trio, 7:30 p.m., $8.

Sheba Piano Lounge: 1419 Fillmore, San Francisco. The Robert Stewart Experience, 9 p.m.

Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. The Count Basie Orchestra, 8 & 10 p.m., $29-$35.

INTERNATIONAL

1015 Folsom: 1015 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Pura,” 9 p.m., $20.

Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. “Paris-Dakar African Mix Coupe Decale,” 10 p.m., $5.

Cafe Cocomo: 650 Indiana, San Francisco. La Fuerza Gigante, El DJ X, 8 p.m., $15.

Cigar Bar & Grill: 850 Montgomery, San Francisco. Orquesta La Clave Del Blanco, 10 p.m.

Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. “El SuperRitmo,” w/ DJs Roger Mas & El Kool Kyle, 10 p.m., $5 before 11 p.m.

Old First Presbyterian Church: 1751 Sacramento, San Francisco. Kitka: Wintersongs, 8 p.m., $15-$25.

Pachamama Restaurant: 1630 Powell, San Francisco. Eddy Navia & Pachamama Band, 8 p.m., free.

Red Poppy Art House: 2698 Folsom, San Francisco. Bolo, 7:30 p.m., $15-$20.

Revolution Cafe: 3248 22nd St., San Francisco. Go Van Gogh, Third Saturday of every month, 9 p.m., free/donation.

Space 550: 550 Barneveld, San Francisco. “Club Fuego,” 9:30 p.m.

Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. Nene Malo, in Yoshi’s lounge, 10:30 p.m., $25-$30.

BLUES

Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Rod Piazza & The Mighty Flyers, 7:30 & 10 p.m., $24.

Lou’s Fish Shack: 300 Jefferson St., San Francisco. Willie G, 6:30 p.m.

The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Tony Perez & Second Hand Smoke, Third Saturday of every month, 4 p.m.; Stan Erhart, 9:30 p.m.

EXPERIMENTAL

Center for New Music: 55 Taylor St., San Francisco. RTD3, 8 p.m., $7-$10.

FUNK

Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. Funk Revival Orchestra, Swoop Unit, DJ K-Os, 9:30 p.m., $10-$15.

Pa’ina: 1865 Post St., San Francisco. Typhoon Fundraiser with Chocolate Rice, 7 p.m.

SOUL

Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. “Saturday Night Soul Party,” w/ DJs Lucky, Phengren Oswald, and Paul Paul, Third Saturday of every month, 10 p.m., $10 ($5 in formal attire).

Feinstein’s at the Nikko: 222 Mason St., San Francisco. “Love Hangover: LaChanze Sings Diana Ross,” Fri., Dec. 20, 8 p.m.; Sat., Dec. 21, 7 p.m., $30-$50.

SUNDAY 22

ROCK

DNA Lounge: 375 11th St., San Francisco. The Jingle Bell Rock & Metal Fest 2013, w/ First Contact, This Plague Between Us, Orbiting Pluto, The Wet Bandits, Point of Interest, Ocelot, Global Affront, Bellyfull, Hairstrike, Sketch Republic, Posers, The A6’s, Parkside, Only the Pinkys, Pillars of Hercules, Mythra, Buried, 5:30 p.m., $10-$15.

Great American Music Hall: 859 O’Farrell, San Francisco. The Ugly Sweater Social: Day 1, w/ Finish Ticket, French Cassettes, 9 p.m., $1-$20.

Hemlock Tavern: 1131 Polk, San Francisco. Wreck & Reference, Creepers, So Stressed, 8:30 p.m., $6.

Make-Out Room: 3225 22nd St., San Francisco. Chrome Eagle, Crystal Goblet, 7:30 p.m., $8.

Slim’s: 333 11th St., San Francisco. Strung Out (playing An American Paradox), Voodoo Glow Skulls, Dearly Divided, 8 p.m., $18-$20.

Sub-Mission Art Space (Balazo 18 Gallery): 2183 Mission, San Francisco. Jokes for Feelings, Sarchasm, Push, MFB, Skank Bank, 7:30 p.m., $7.

DANCE

BeatBox: 314 11th St., San Francisco. “Tea-Rex,” w/ DJ Corey Craig, 4-8 p.m., $10.

Beauty Bar: 2299 Mission, San Francisco. “The Horror Hop: A December to Dismember,” w/ DJs Creepy B, Adrienne Scissorhands, and Roxy Rolle, 10 p.m., free.

The Cellar: 685 Sutter, San Francisco. “Replay Sundays,” 9 p.m., free.

Club X: 715 Harrison, San Francisco. “Electro Pop Rocks: EPR’s Electric Christmas,” 18+ dance night, 9 p.m.

The Edge: 4149 18th St., San Francisco. “’80s at 8,” w/ DJ MC2, 8 p.m.

Elbo Room: 647 Valencia, San Francisco. “Dub Mission,” w/ Kush Arora, Jimmy Love, DJ Sep, 9 p.m., $6 (free before 9:30 p.m.).

The EndUp: 401 Sixth St., San Francisco. “T.Dance,” 6 a.m.-6 p.m.; “Local Love,” Fourth Sunday of every month, 8 p.m.; “Sunday Sessions,” 8 p.m.

F8: 1192 Folsom St., San Francisco. “Stamina,” w/ Flaco, Submorphics, Retox, Canadub, 10 p.m., free.

The Knockout: 3223 Mission, San Francisco. “Sweater Funk,” 10 p.m., free.

Lookout: 3600 16th St., San Francisco. “Jock,” Sundays, 3-8 p.m., $2.

MatrixFillmore: 3138 Fillmore, San Francisco. “Bounce,” w/ DJ Just, 10 p.m.

Monarch: 101 6th St., San Francisco. “Reload,” w/ Pedro Arbulu, 9 p.m., $5.

Otis: 25 Maiden, San Francisco. “What’s the Werd?,” w/ resident DJs Nick Williams, Kevin Knapp, Maxwell Dub, and guests, 9 p.m., $5 (free before 11 p.m.).

The Parlor: 2801 Leavenworth, San Francisco. DJ Marc deVasconcelos, 10 p.m., free.

Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Gigante,” 8 p.m., free.

The Stud: 399 Ninth St., San Francisco. “Cognitive Dissonance,” Fourth Sunday of every month, 6 p.m.

HIP-HOP

Boom Boom Room: 1601 Fillmore, San Francisco. “Return of the Cypher,” 9:30 p.m., free.

ACOUSTIC

Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. Merry Flipping Christmas Variety Show, w/ Heidi Alexander, Noelle Cahill, Jen Snyder, Sonny Smith, Justin Frahm, Rob Spector, Paula Frazer, Bart Davenport, Paul Costuros, Matt Shapiro, more, 9 p.m.

Bazaar Cafe: 5927 California, San Francisco. Manjali Light, 6 p.m.

Lou’s Fish Shack: 300 Jefferson St., San Francisco. Sam Johnson, 4 p.m.

The Lucky Horseshoe: 453 Cortland, San Francisco. Bernal Mountain Bluegrass Jam, 4 p.m., free; JimBo Trout & The Fishpeople, 8 p.m.

Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “Spike’s Mic Night,” Sundays, 4-8 p.m., free.

Plough & Stars: 116 Clement, San Francisco. The Pat O’Donnell Band, 9 p.m.

St. Luke’s Episcopal Church: 1755 Clay, San Francisco. “Sunday Night Mic,” w/ Roem Baur, 5 p.m., free.

JAZZ

Bird & Beckett: 653 Chenery, San Francisco. Buena Vista Jazz Band, 4:30 p.m., free.

Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. Kim Nalley’s Gospel Christmas, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., $22.

Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Bill “Doc” Webster & Jazz Nostalgia, 7:30 p.m., free.

Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “Sunday Sessions,” 10 p.m., free.

Revolution Cafe: 3248 22nd St., San Francisco. Jazz Revolution, 4 p.m., free/donation.

The Royal Cuckoo: 3202 Mission, San Francisco. Lavay Smith & Chris Siebert, 7:30 p.m., free.

Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Amanda Addleman, 7:30 p.m., free.

INTERNATIONAL

Atmosphere: 447 Broadway, San Francisco. “Hot Bachata Nights,” w/ DJ El Guapo, 5:30 p.m., $10 ($18-$25 with dance lessons).

Balancoire: 2565 Mission St., San Francisco. “Tardeadas Tropicales,” 3 p.m.

Bissap Baobab: 3372 19th St., San Francisco. “Brazil & Beyond,” 6:30 p.m., free.

El Rio: 3158 Mission, San Francisco. “Salsa Sundays,” Second and Fourth Sunday of every month, 3 p.m., $8-$10.

Pier 23 Cafe: Pier 23, San Francisco. Mario Flores, 5 p.m., free.

Thirsty Bear Brewing Company: 661 Howard, San Francisco. “The Flamenco Room,” 7:30 & 8:30 p.m.

Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. Christmas with the Celts, 2 & 6 p.m., $28-$55.

BLUES

The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Blues Power, 4 p.m.; The Door Slammers, 9:30 p.m.

Sheba Piano Lounge: 1419 Fillmore, San Francisco. Bohemian Knuckleboogie, 8 p.m., free.

Swig: 571 Geary, San Francisco. Sunday Blues Jam with Ed Ivey, 9 p.m.

SOUL

Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. Jasmine Nichol, 8th Grader, 8 p.m., $15-$25.

Delirium Cocktails: 3139 16th St., San Francisco. “Heart & Soul,” w/ DJ Lovely Lesage, 10 p.m., free.

MONDAY 23

ROCK

Bottom of the Hill: 1233 17th St., San Francisco. Local Hero, Eager Eyes, Before the Brave, 8 p.m., $8-$10.

Brick & Mortar Music Hall: 1710 Mission, San Francisco. Breakaway Patriot, Musical Charis, 9 p.m., $7-$10.

Slim’s: 333 11th St., San Francisco. The Ugly Sweater Social: Day 2, w/ Finish Ticket, Picture Atlantic, 9 p.m., sold out.

DANCE

DNA Lounge: 375 11th St., San Francisco. “Death Guild,” 18+ dance party with DJs Decay, Joe Radio, Melting Girl, & guests, 9:30 p.m., $3-$5.

Q Bar: 456 Castro, San Francisco. “Wanted,” w/ DJs Key&Kite and Richie Panic, 9 p.m., free.

Underground SF: 424 Haight, San Francisco. “Vienetta Discotheque,” w/ DJs Stanley Frank and Robert Jeffrey, 10 p.m., free.

ACOUSTIC

Amnesia: 853 Valencia, San Francisco. The Pick Bluegrass Jam, Fourth Monday of every month, 6 p.m., free; The Earl Brothers, Fourth Monday of every month, 9 p.m., free.

Bazaar Cafe: 5927 California, San Francisco. Patrick Luckett & Hanako Irie, 7 p.m.

The Chieftain: 198 Fifth St., San Francisco. The Wrenboys, 7 p.m., free.

Fiddler’s Green: 1333 Columbus, San Francisco. Terry Savastano, 9:30 p.m., free/donation.

Hotel Utah: 500 Fourth St., San Francisco. Open Mic with Brendan Getzell, 8 p.m., free.

Osteria: 3277 Sacramento, San Francisco. “Acoustic Bistro,” 7 p.m., free.

The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. Peter Lindman, 4 p.m.

JAZZ

Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Eugene Pliner Quartet with Tod Dickow, 7:30 p.m., free.

Le Colonial: 20 Cosmo, San Francisco. Le Jazz Hot, 7 p.m., free.

Sheba Piano Lounge: 1419 Fillmore, San Francisco. City Jazz Instrumental Jam Session, 8 p.m.

The Union Room at Biscuits and Blues: 401 Mason, San Francisco. The Session: A Monday Night Jazz Series, pro jazz jam with Mike Olmos, 7:30 p.m., $12.

Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. Natasha Miller’s Annual Holiday Concert, 8 p.m., $16-$20.

Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Gayle Wilhelm, 7:30 p.m., free.

REGGAE

Skylark Bar: 3089 16th St., San Francisco. “Skylarking,” w/ I&I Vibration, 10 p.m., free.

BLUES

The Saloon: 1232 Grant, San Francisco. The Bachelors, 9:30 p.m.

SOUL

Madrone Art Bar: 500 Divisadero, San Francisco. “M.O.M. (Motown on Mondays),” w/ DJ Gordo Cabeza & Timoteo Gigante, 8 p.m., free.

TUESDAY 24

DANCE

Ruby Skye: 420 Mason, San Francisco. Latke Ball 2013, Presented by the Jewish Community Federation of San Francisco, the Peninsula, Marin, and Sonoma Counties., 9 p.m., $30-$50.

JAZZ

Burritt Room: 417 Stockton St., San Francisco. Terry Disley’s Rocking Jazz Trio, 6 p.m., free.

Jazz Bistro at Les Joulins: 44 Ellis, San Francisco. Clifford Lamb, Mel Butts, and Friends, 7:30 p.m., free.

Yoshi’s San Francisco: 1330 Fillmore, San Francisco. Clairdee’s 11th Annual Christmas Eve Show, 8 p.m., $20.

Zingari: 501 Post, San Francisco. Hubert Emerson, 7:30 p.m.

GOSPEL

Slim’s: 333 11th St., San Francisco. Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir Ensemble, 7 & 9:30 p.m., $15. 2

Sage Listings: Dec. 18-24, 2013

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Stage listings are compiled by Guardian staff. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com.

THEATER

OPENING

Disney’s Beauty and the Beast Curran Theatre, 445 Geary, SF; www.shnsf.com. $60-160. Sat/21, 2 and 7:30pm; Sun/22, Dec 29, and Jan 5, noon and 5:30pm; Dec 23-28 and Dec 30-Jan 4, 2pm (also Dec 28 and Jan 3-4, 7:30pm).Through Jan 5. Disney’s version of the classic tale comes to the stage. Bring it, Mrs. Potts!

ONGOING

Amaluna Big Top at AT&T Park, Third Street at Terry A. Francois Blvd, SF; www.cirquedusoliel.com. $50-175. Check website for schedule, including special holiday showtimes. Through Jan 12. Cirque de Soleil is back in town, this time bringing its Tempest-inspired Amaluna to the big top set up outside AT&T Park. Touted for being a celebration of “women [sic] power,” it seems initially odd that the design elements are so focused on the male peacock feather — all greens and blues and graceful, with curving “fronds” rising up from the stage. Jungle sounds chirp in the background as a bevy of Amazonian women in bejeweled headdresses and a mischievous lizard-man circulate the room until the show starts with the lovely abstraction of a floating red cloud of translucent fabric dancing in a single beam of light. The flimsy plotline is forgettable, a coming-of-age and courtship tale between the island’s young princess, Miranda (Iuliia Mykhailova) and a shipwrecked young Romeo (Evgeny Kurkin), though the parallel courtship between the two comic figures of Jeeves (Nathalie Claude) and Deeda (Shereen Hickman) provides a bit of levity and a novel use for footballs. The most realized character is probably Cali (Victor Kee), the half-lizard, whose prehensile tail and neon body paint give him an otherworldly allure, but it’s the aerialist goddesses and fierce embodiments of the storm that are most memorable from an acrobatic point-of-view, and Lara Jacobs’ unique balancing act from a meditative one. (Gluckstern)

Avenue Q New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness, SF; www.nctcsf.org. $25-45. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 12. New Conservatory Theatre Center performs the Tony-winning comedy.

The Barbary Coast Revue Stud Bar, 399 Ninth St, SF; eventbrite.com/org/4730361353. $10-40. Wed/18, 9pm. Blake Wiers’ new “live history musical experience” features Mark Twain as a tour guide through San Francisco’s wild past.

The Book of Mormon Orpheum Theatre, 1192 Market, SF; www.shnsf.com. $60-120. Wed-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm); Sun, 1 and 6:30pm. Through Jan 19. When approaching the oeuvre of South Parkcreators Matt Stone and Trey Parker, it’s best to check your political correctness at the door. That’s certainly no less true of their 2011 Broadway musical The Book of Mormon, co-penned with Robert Lopez (of Avenue Q fame), despite the clean-scrubbed appearance of their fumbling albeit well-intentioned missionary protagonists. Sent to Uganda for two years, top mission pupil Elder Price (Nic Rouleau) and his clumsy but affable partner Elder Cunningham (A.J. Holmes) are faced with a village oppressed by a scenery-chewing warlord, a demoralized coterie of fellow missionaries who have yet to have a successful conversion, and their own fraught, odd-couple dynamic. Rouleau’s Price is an appropriate blend of smarm, charm, and secret self-doubt while Holmes excels in his portrayal of a perennial-loser-turned-prophet (his power ballad-esque solo in “Man Up” is one of the show’s best). Of their hosts, the wry Mafala (James Vincent Meredith) and his sweet but strong-willed daughter Nabulungi (Syesha Mercado) get the most stage time, but it’s the crude and caustic General (David Aron Damane) who grabs the most attention. The gleefully profane “Hasa Diga Eebowai,” a Forbidden Zone-style “Spooky Mormon Hell Dream”, and the deliriously blasphemous “Joseph Smith, American Moses,” round out the entertaining, and strangely informative, score. Though it’s (very) unlikely to convert you to the Church of Latter-Day Saints, there’s a good chance you’ll want to convert to the church of Parker and Stone, if you haven’t already. (Gluckstern)

A Christmas Carol Geary Theater, 415 Geary, SF; www.act-sf.org. $20-95. Wed/18-Sat/21, 7pm (also Sat/21, 2pm); Sun/22, 1 and 5:30pm; Mon/23, 2 and 7pm; Tue/24 and Dec 26-27, 1pm (also Dec 27, 5:30pm); Dec 28, 1pm. Through Dec 28. American Conservatory Theater mounts its annual production of the Dickens classic, with James Carpenter as Scrooge and Ken Ruta as Jacob Marley’s ghost.

Cinderella Buriel Clay Theater, African American Art and Culture Complex, 762 Fulton, SF; www.african-americanshakes.org. $12.50-50. Sat/21-Sun/22, 3pm (also Sat/21, 8pm). African-American Shakespeare Company presents this fairy-tale production for the holidays.

Crones for the Holidays: The Sequel Exit Theatre, 156 Eddy, SF; www.crackpotcrones.com. $20. Sat-Sun, 3pm (also Sat, 8pm). Through Dec 29. Vignettes, improv, songs, and more, written by and starring Terry Baum and Carolyn Myers.

Foodies! The Musical Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter, SF; www.foodiesthemusical.com. $32-34. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Open-ended. AWAT Productions presents Morris Bobrow’s musical comedy revue all about food.

The Golden Girls: The XMAS Episodes Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th, SF; www.trannyshack.com. $30. Thu/19-Sat/21, 8pm; Sun/22, 7pm. Plastic Christmas tree, 80s TV jingles, men in muumuus — it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Two new (old) episodes from the classic television sitcom enliven this year’s staging of the seasonal favorite, starring drag luminaries Heklina, as Dorothy; Cookie Dough, as Sophia; Matthew Martin (who also directs), as Blanche; and Pollo Del Mar, as Rose. Decked to the halls in frighteningly festive outfits courtesy of costumers Landa Lakes and Van Hedwall, the ladies bring out the geriatric within, while proving over and over again that nobody ever really grows up anyway. Laurie Bushman, Manuel Caneri, Peter Griggs, and Jordan Wheeler round out the cast, along with a rotating roster of special guests (including opening night’s appearance by Donna Sashet). Yule laugh, Yule cry, mostly Yule laugh. (Avila)

It’s Christmas, Carole! Creativity Theater, 221 Fourth St, SF; www.itschristmascarole.com. $10-20. Thu/19-Fri/20, 7pm; Sat/21-Sun/22, 2 and 5pm. Michael Phillis’s broadly comic, all-ages take on A Christmas Carol proves a sweet, amusing, and admiringly well-acted 60-minute Christmas pudding in the hands of director Andrew Nance and his charmingly offbeat cast, which includes physical comedienne Sara Moore as the eponymous Christmas grouch. Playwright Phillis, with equally sharp timing and rubbery features, plays Carole’s coworker Bob, a young gay urbanite longing to go back home for Christmas and reconnect with his estranged, disapproving mother. Carole drives a hard bargain but eventually agrees to take over his workload for the day —namely Christmas day, a workday by any other measure for their terrifyingly mean old boss, Mr. Scrooge (Dave Garrett). Also working that day is the cloying goody-goody of the office, played with a hilarious excess of syrup by Dawn Meredith Smith, who doubles as the sassy Ghost of Christmas Breaks in the fitful imagination of slumbering Carole. There the Ghost of Christmas Bonuses (Rory Davis) also makes an appearance, and Carole of course makes a discovery about family, friends, and loved ones that turns even her boss’s bitchiness right around. (Avila)

The Jewelry Box: A Genuine Christmas Story The Marsh San Francisco, 1062 Valencia, SF; www.themarsh.org. $15-40. Fri, 8pm; Sat, 5pm. Through Dec 28. Brian Copeland performs the world premiere of his new, holiday-themed work, an Oakland-set autobiographical tale that’s a prequel to his popular Not a Genuine Black Man.

My Beautiful Launderette New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness, SF; www.nctcsf.org. $25-45. Wed/18-Sat.21, 8pm; Sun/22, 2pm. In this stage adaptation of the 1985 Hanif Kureishi-Stephen Frears film, SF newcomer Javi Harnly takes on the role of Omar, a British-Pakistani youth with an eye for business opportunity, while Robert Rushin portrays his former schoolmate and eventual lover Johnny, a working-class tough and erstwhile fascist whose navigation of Thatcher-era London is fraught with poverty and violence. While the play sticks to much of the original’s plot, the cast is reduced to a chamber septet, with the perhaps unintended consequence of creating an extra layer of isolation for Johnny, whose former “mates” remain offstage, leaving him to be defined almost solely by his relationships to Omar and Omar’s family. Director Andrew Nance’s pacing errs on the side of sedate, subduing the more passionate responses of many of the supporting characters: Omar’s restless cousin Tania (Radhika Rao); his widowed, alcoholic father (Ravi Bhatnagar); his mercurial entrepreneur uncle Nasser (Keith Stevenson); and Nasser’s kittenish mistress (Cat Luedtke). Only Daniel Redmond as the unrepentantly shady Salim gets to fully embody his character’s extremist views and actions, while the sweetly awkward chemistry between the two protagonists does produce a nice bit of heat, their refreshingly matter-of-fact relationship encompassing a full spectrum of emotion and circumstance. (Gluckstern)

The Oy of Sex Marsh San Francisco, 1062 Valencia, SF; www.themarsh.org. $20-100. Thu-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 8:30pm. Through Jan 18. Comedian Alicia Dattner performs her solo show, based on her stories from her own life and love addiction.

Storefront Church San Francisco Playhouse, 450 Post St, Second Flr, SF; www.sfplayhouse.org. $30-100. Tue-Thu, 7pm (no shows Dec 24-25 or Jan 1); Fri-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 3pm); Sun, 2pm (also Sun/22, 7pm). Through Jan 11. Weighty themes come leavened by sharp comedy and engaging characters in this 2012 play from New York’s John Patrick Shanley (Doubt), now enjoying a strong and lively Bay Area premiere at SF Playhouse in director Joy Carlin’s well cast production. Ethan, a gregarious retired accountant and professed secular Jew (a hilarious and endearing Ray Reinhardt) tries to get some relief for his Puerto Rican wife, Jessie (a bubbly Gloria Weinstock), who is perilously behind on her loan payments. But it’s like getting the proverbial blood from a stone during his meeting with her humorless and immobile — indeed, partly paralyzed — loan officer (a quietly shattered Rod Gnapp). Ethan appeals to morality; loan officer Reed sticks to the rules of the system. Enter Donaldo (an admirably sure yet understated Gabriel Marin), the Bronx’s upstanding borough president and the son of Jessie’s old friend. Donaldo has much bigger business with the bank underway (a proposed mall deal that will bring jobs, if at the expense of local character) and at first begs off — until he learns his mother has co-signed the loan. Soon, Donaldo is visiting the source of Jessie’s money problems: a somber Pentecostal preacher and Katrina-refugee named Chester (a gently solemn Carl Lumbly) who has installed a traffic-less church in the storefront below her apartment but remains himself paralyzed by depression and uncertainty. Donaldo, himself a preacher’s son, and Chester soon engage in a fiery and captivating debate that turns on the contradictions between moral conviction and worldly compromise. From there on, a fractured congregation of sorts begins to form around the preacher and Donaldo, including the unctuous yet aloof CEO of the bank (played with bounding confidence by a fine Derek Fischer). It all leads to a rousingly funny and tender scene that makes good on the season’s usual lip service to fraternal feeling and communal values. (Avila)

Too Many Tamales: A Holiday Story for the Whole Family Marsh San Francisco, 1062 Valencia, SF; www.themarsh.org. $8-35. Opens Sat/21, 2 and 8pm. Runs Sun/22-Mon/23, Dec 27-30, and Jan 2-4, 2pm. Through Jan 4. Marsh Youth Theater and author Gary Soto collaborate on this high-energy holiday show — complete with puppets and Mexican music — based on Soto’s picture book.

BAY AREA

Edward Gant’s Amazing Feats of Loneliness Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby, Berk; www.shotgunplayers.org. $20-35. Wed-Thu, 7pm; Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 11. Shotgun Players performs Anthony Neilson’s comic romp set in “a sensual Edwardian world of top hats, fantastical puppets, and flash powder.”

Little Women Lucie Stern Theatre, 1305 Middlefield, Palo Alto; www.theatreworks.org. $19-79. Tue-Wed and Dec 30, 7:30pm (no shows Dec 24-25; Dec 31, show at 2pm only; no show Jan 1); Thu-Sat, 8pm (also Sat and Dec 26 and Jan 4, 2pm); Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Jan 4. TheatreWorks performs the musical adaptation of the Louisa May Alcott tale.

Mame Hillbarn Theatre, 1285 East Hillsdale, Foster City; www.hillbarntheatre.org. $19-40. Thu/19-Sat/21, 8pm (also Sat/21, 2pm); Sun/22, 2pm. Hillbarn Theatre performs Jerry Herman’s classic musical.

The Pianist of Willesden Lane Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Thrust Theatre, 2015 Addison, Berk; www.berkeleyrep.org. $29-89. Tue and Thu-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm; no shows Tue/24 or Dec 31); Wed and Sun, 7pm (also Sun, 2pm; matinees only Sun/22 and Jan 5; no show Dec 25). Extended through Jan 5. Mona Golabek stars in this solo performance inspired by her mother, a Jewish pianist whose dreams and life were threatened by the Nazi regime.

PERFORMANCE/DANCE

“Broadway Bingo” Feinstein’s at the Nikko, Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason, SF; www.feinsteinssf.com. Wed, 7-9pm. Ongoing. Free. Countess Katya Smirnoff-Skyy and Joe Wicht host this Broadway-flavored night of games and performance.

“A Chanticleer Christmas” St. Ignatius, 650 Parker, SF; www.chanticleer.org. Sun/22, 8pm. $30-65. The Grammy-winning vocal ensemble performs profound and joyous seasonal tunes.

“Comedy Bottle with Tom Smith” Purple Onion at Kells, 530 Jackson, SF; www.purpleonionatkells.com. Fri/20-Sat/21, 7pm. $10. Headliner Smith performs with Matthew Groom and Ira Summer.

“Exquisite Corpse Theatre: Sci-Fi: Defenders of Intergalactic Donuts” Stage Werx Theatre, 446 Valencia, SF; www.stagewerx.org. Fri/20-Sat/21, 7pm. $23. Mikl-em, Stage Werx, and Foul Play present this combination party, writing game, and performance. Dress in sci-fi togs and assist the artists in writing the show.

“Fiesta Navidena” Peña Pachamama, 1630 Powell, SF; www.carolinalugo.com. Sat/21-Sun/22 and Dec 27-28, 6:15pm. $15-21. Carolina Lugo and Carolé Acuña’s Ballet Flamenco performs a holiday show.

“From the Bay to Bahia” Brava Theater Center, 2781 24th St, SF; www.locobloco.org. Sat/21, 8pm. $5-20. An evening inspired by Loco Bloco’s summer cultural exchange in Bahia, Brazil, with dance, spoken word, and musical performances.

“G. Scott Lacy’s Holiday Cabaret” Society Cabaret at Hotel Rex, 562 Sutter, SF; www.societycabaret.com. Fri/20-Sat/21, 8pm; Sun/22, 2pm. $20-40. A seasonal blend of music and song.

“Happy Birthday Jesus: The Alaska Christmas Show” Rebel, 1760 Market, SF; www.brownpapertickets.com. Wed/18-Fri/20, 7:30 and 10pm. $22.50. RuPaul’s Drag Race fan fave Alaska Thunderfuck performs her off-Broadway show.

“Hark, the Herald Angels Swing!” Davies Symphony Hall, 201 Van Ness, SF; www.cityboxoffice.com. Sun/22, 8pm. $18-65. The SF Girls Chorus and School, plus Alumnae Chorus, perform jazzy holiday songs arranged by Marcus Shelby.

“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: An Evening with Connie Champagne as Judy Garland” Feinstein’s at the Nikko, Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason, SF; www.feinsteinssf.com. Wed/18, 8pm. $25-35 ($20 minimum food and beverage purchase). The acclaimed performer presents her annual holiday show.

“Hysterical Historical San Francisco, Holiday Edition” Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter, SF; www.sheltontheater.org. Sun, 7pm. Through Dec 29. $30-40. Comic Kurt Weitzman performs.

“Jackie Beat’s O Holy Hell!” Rebel, 1760 Market, SF; www.brownpapertickets.com. Sun/22, 7 and 9pm. $26. “Everyone’s favorite Grinch” returns to SF for her annual anti-holiday tribute.

“Kung Pao Kosher Comedy” New Asia Restaurant, 772 Pacific, SF; www.koshercomedy.com. Dec 24-26, 6pm (dinner show); 9:30pm (cocktail show). $44-64. Stand-up with Gary Gulman, Adrianne Tolsch, Samson Koletkar, and Lisa Geduldig.

“Mark Foehringer’s Nutcracker Sweets” Southside Theater, Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna, SF; www.brownpapertickets.com. Fri/20-Tue/24, 11am and 2pm (also Sat/21-Sun22, 4pm). $18-28. Contemporary ballet company Mark Foehringer Dance Project SF performs its fifth annual production of this Nutcracker-inspired work aimed at families with young children.

“Mittens and Mistletoe: A Winter Circus Cabaret” Dance Mission Theater, 3316 24th St, SF; www.sweetcanproductions.com. Fri/20-Sat/21, 8pm; Sun/22-Tue/24, 2pm (also Sun/22 and Tue/24, 4pm). $15-60. Light-hearted, circus-themed holiday variety show, with juggling, clowning, trapeze acts, and more.

“Okeanos Intimate” Aquarium of the Bay, Pier 39, SF; www.capacitor.org. Sat, 8pm. $20-30 (free aquarium ticket with show ticket). Extended through Dec 28. Choreographer Jodi Lomask and her company, Capacitor, revive 2012’s Okeanos — a cirque-dance piece exploring the wonder and fragility of our innate connection to the world’s oceans — in a special “intimate” version designed for the mid-size theater at Pier 39’s Aquarium of the Bay. The show, developed in collaboration with scientists and engineers, comes preceded by a short talk by a guest expert — for a recent Saturday performance it was a down-to-earth and truly fascinating local ecological history lesson by the Bay Institute’s Marc Holmes. In addition to its Cirque du Soleil-like blend of quasi-representational modern dance and circus acrobatics — powered by a synth-heavy blend of atmospheric pop music — Okeanos makes use of some stunning underwater photography and an intermittent narrative that includes testimonials from the likes of marine biologist and filmmaker Dr. Tierney Thys. The performers, including contortionists, also interact with some original physical properties hanging from the flies — a swirling vortex and a spherical shell — as they wrap and warp their bodies in a kind of metamorphic homage to the capacity and resiliency of evolution, the varied ingenuity of all life forms. If the movement vocabulary can seem limited at times, and too derivative, the show also feels a little cramped on the Aquarium Theater stage, whose proscenium arrangement does the piece few favors aesthetically. Nevertheless, the family-oriented Okeanos Intimate spurs a conversation with the ocean that is nothing if not urgent. (Avila)

Paula Poundstone Palace of Fine Arts, 3301 Lyon, SF; www.palaceoffinearts.org. Fri/20, 8pm. $35. The comedian and NPR personality performs.

“Point Break Live!” DNA Lounge, 373 11th St, SF; www.dnalounge.com. Jan 3, Feb 7, March 7, and April 4, 7:30 and 11pm. $25-50. Dude, Point Break Live! is like dropping into a monster wave, or holding up a bank, like, just a pure adrenaline rush, man. Ahem. Sorry, but I really can’t help but channel Keanu Reeves and his Johnny Utah character when thinking about the awesomely bad 1991 movie Point Break or its equally yummily cheesy stage adaptation. And if you do an even better Keanu impression than me — the trick is in the vacant stare and stoner drawl — then you can play his starring role amid a cast of solid actors, reading from cue cards from a hilarious production assistant in order to more closely approximate Keanu’s acting ability. This play is just so much fun, even better now at DNA Lounge than it was a couple years ago at CELLspace. But definitely buy the poncho pack and wear it, because the blood, spit, and surf spray really do make this a fully immersive experience. (Steven T. Jones)

“San Francisco Magic Parlor” Chancellor Hotel Union Square, 433 Powell, SF; www.sfmagicparlor.com. Thu-Sat, 8pm. Ongoing. $40. Magic vignettes with conjurer and storyteller Walt Anthony.

“Santa Claus is Coming Out” Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson, SF; www.combinedartform.com. Thu/19-Fri/20, 8pm; Sat/21, 9:30pm; Sun/22, 5pm; Mon/23, 6pm; Tue/24, 3pm. $20-35. Jeffrey Solomon performs his solo play exploring “the secret romantic life of the holiday icon.”

“The Santaland Diaries” Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson, SF; www.combinedartform.com. Sat/21, 7pm; Sun/22-Mon/23 and Dec 26-29, 8pm (also Sun/22 and Dec 29, 2pm); Mon/23, 8pm; Tue/24, 1pm. David Sinaiko performs David Sedaris’ tale of working as an elf, adapted to the stage by Joe Mantello.

“Shotz: Orwellian Consumer-mas” Tides Theare, 533 Sutter, SF; www.amoisnyc.org. Wed/18, 8pm. $10. AmiosSF presents five short plays relating to the theme of “Orwellian Consumer-mas.” Each is required to include the line “It’s free. Freee!”

“Sing You A Merry Christmas” Grace Cathedral, 1100 California, SF; www.gracecathedral.org. Sat/21, 11am. $5-25. A sing-along for younger children and their families

“Speechless Faux Holiday Christmas Event” Public Works, 161 Erie, SF; www.speechlesslive.com. Thu/19, 7:30pm. $20. Entertainers, entrepreneurs, and audience members present spontaneous PowerPoint presentations. In keeping with the season, this edition is formatted as a faux holiday party, complete with an ugly sweater contest.

“A Verry Merry Murder Mystery” Bayfront Theater, B350 Fort Mason Center, SF; www.improv.org. Fri/20-Sat/21, 8pm. $20. This concession to the holiday season has more red in it than green. The return of the popular improv show by Bay Area Theatre Sports (BATS) technically has Christmas in it: Along with the 1930s English manor house, it’s part of the setting for murder, as well as the sleuthing and shenanigans that must invariably ensue. Nothing else is certain, however. The audience provides the necessary ingredients to get this full-length completely improvised who-knows-who’ll-have-dunit up and running, including the murder weapon (a dirty sock, the night I went, fiendishly enough). The fine cast (which changes slightly each night) includes the highly imaginative, lightening quick Tim Orr along with fellow BATS veterans like William Hall (who did exceptional work in a Scottish brogue and imaginary kilt), Kasey Klemm, Jenny Rosen, and Regina Saisi; as well as relative newcomers like Ben Johnson and company guest Ethan Karson, both of whom are outstanding. The masterful Joshua Raoul Brody improvises the musical score. (Avila)

“XXmas: The Christmas Ballet, 2013 Edition” Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, Lam Research Theater, 700 Howard, SF; www.smuinballet.org. Wed/18-Sat/21, 8pm (also Sat/21, 2pm); Sun/22, 2 and 7pm; Tue/24, 2pm; Dec 26-28, 8pm (also Dec 26, 2pm). $24-64, Smuin Ballet’s annual holiday show boasts festive ballet, tap, and swing-dance numbers.

BAY AREA

“The Biggest Gift” Lesher Center for the Arts, Margaret Lesher Theatre, 1601 Civic, Walnut Creek; www.leshercenter.org. Thu/19, 11:30am; Fri/20, 9:30am, 11am, and 6:30pm; Sat/21, 10am, 11:30am, 1pm, and 4pm; Sun/22, 11am and 1pm. $14. Fantasy Forum Actors Ensemble presents a Christmas-themed, family-friendly musical.

“The Nutcracker” Paramount Theatre, 2025 Broadway, SF; www.ticketmaster.com. Sat/21-Sun/22, 2pm; Tue/24, 11am. $20-59.50. Oakland Ballet performs Graham Lustig’s version of the classic ballet, with music by the Oakland East Bay Symphony.

“Scrooge: The Haunting of Ebenezer” Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby, Berk; www.shotgunplayers.org. Mon/23-Tue/24, 8pm. $15. Jeff Garrett plays all the Christmas Carol parts in this solo version of the classic tale.

“A Swell Noël” Aurora Theatre Company, 2081 Addison, Berk; www.auroratheatre.org. Wed/18-Sat/21, 7:30pm; Sun/22, 5pm. $25-32. Cabaret star Craig Jessup performs songs by Noël Coward, Jacques Brel, Stephen Sondheim, and other composers. *

This Week’s Picks: December 18 – 24, 2013

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Keep the season safe from Gary Busey.

WEDNESDAY 12/18

 

“Noir City Xmas”

Fans of sultry dames, smoking guns, and sinister characters — as well as anyone hankering for a break from fizzy, fuzzy holiday clatter — need only slink down a dark alley … er, Castro Street … to “Noir City Xmas,” hosted by Eddie “Czar of Noir” Muller and Audra “Ms. Noir City” Wolfmann. The 35mm double-bill kicks off with cult indie crime drama Blast of Silence (1961), with writer-director-star Allen Baron in person. Next up is 1947’s mega-rare Christmas Eve, which sounds like it might be sentimental until you hear its alternate title: Sinner’s Holiday. Now you’re talkin’! Attendees will also get first look at the program for Noir City 12, coming up next month. (Cheryl Eddy)

7pm, $10

Castro Theatre

420 Castro, SF

www.noircity.com

 

 

“Naked Girls Reading Presents: All I Want for Christmas”

Bookstores are closing, magazines are going out of print, and the classics go for pocket change on Amazon. To some, it would seem that the written word has gone out of fashion. The women of Naked Girls Reading disagree. Appearing in 18 cities worldwide, these ladies are proving that literature is as attractive as ever with their nude readings of everything from Homer’s The Odyssey to “Chicken Little.” San Francisco’s chapter includes a retired Harley mechanic and burlesque producer, an author-sexologist, a goldsmith-dominatrix, and an actor-dancer-clown. At their “All I Want for Christmas” event, the lovely ladies will read selections from their holiday favorites, including Charles Dickens to Lemony Snicket. (Janina Glasov)

8pm, $20

Center for Sex and Culture

1349 Mission, SF

www.sexandculture.org

 

 

Holograms

Some bands would like to think that listening to their music is a religious experience. Swedish post-punk band Holograms takes this cliché to the next level. Hot off its second release, Forever, the band seeks to capture the feeling of music being played in a church or temple. The vocals echo hauntingly — and just like an old-timey church organ, the synthesizers seem to come in at the right time to elevate Hologram’s musical sermons. Though the band’s been compared to Joy Division on many an occasion, Holograms’ sound is also derivative of ’80s goth at times. Can I get an “amen”? (Erin Dage) With TV Ghost, G. Green 9pm, $12 Bottom of the Hill

1233 17th St, SF www.bottomofthehill.com

 

 

“Holiday StrEat Flicks:” Home Alone

While 14 members of the McCallister family rush around their three-story Winnetka, Ill., home, packing for their holiday vacation in Paris, you’re biting into a steamed Coca-Cola braised pork bun. When Kevin, the baby of the Home Alone (1990) family, wakes up to an empty house and realizes he’s been left behind, he orders himself a pizza, just as you grab your own wood-fired slice from Del Popolo. As Harry and Marv, shady burglars also known as the Wet Bandits, sneak around the yard looking for a way in, you’re trying to figure out how to bite into your frozen mousse pop. By the time Kevin’s family returns on Christmas day, you’re sipping mulled wine at this month’s StrEat Flicks and enjoying (not being) Home Alone. (Kaylen Baker).

7pm, free

SoMa StrEat Food Park

428 11th St, SF

www.somastreetfoodpark.com

THURSDAY 12/19

 

Santa Claus Is Coming Out

This year, Father Christmas comes out of the closet instead of down the chimney in Jeffrey Solomon’s solo show, here for a limited run. The acclaimed off-Broadway play explores what happens when Santa admits that he has been living a lie: Mrs. Claus is just an actor, and Mr. Kringle’s true love is a man named Giovanni. Naturally, conservative parents freak out, and a “Santa-Gate” scandal follows Claus’ controversial confession. Solomon’s show probes the reasons why. “Would people be willing to cancel Christmas as we know it,” he wonders, “rather than let the red suited homosexual into their homes and hearts?” (Glasov)

Thu/19-Fri/20, 8pm; Sat/21, 9:30pm; Sun/22, 5pm; Mon/23, 6pm; Tues/24, 3pm, $25-$35

Eureka Theatre

215 Jackson, SF

www.combinedartform.com

 

 

Gremlins and Lethal Weapon

When it comes to films that are considered “holiday classics” by the majority of people, titles such as White Christmas (1954) and Miracle on 34th Street (1947) are likely tossed around. But two of the best Christmas movies — Gremlins (1984) and Lethal Weapon (1987) — are showing tonight at the Castro. What better way to celebrate the season than with Gizmo and pals fending off little green monsters that go caroling and scaring the hell out of mean old people? And Riggs and Murtaugh keeping the season safe from Gary Busey? It’s going to be an ’80s nostalgic blast — but remember, whatever you do, don’t feed any of your furry friends after midnight! (Sean McCourt)

Gremlins, 7pm; Lethal Weapon, 9pm, $8.50-$11

Castro Theatre

429 Castro, SF

www.castrotheatre.com

FRIDAY 12/20

 

Exodus

If you’re not into the plethora of holiday-related events this week, go to a metal show instead. Credited as being the band that brought thrash to the Bay Area — helping spawn a scene that’s still thriving today — Richmond’s Exodus has been going strong for over 30 years. Playing a brand of aggressive, fast-tempo music, the band has remained a head-banging force through numerous lineup changes and studio albums. Also joining in on the fun is Oxnard’s Nails. Combining elements of early grindcore and power violence, this SoCal band simply rips. So forget the various parties and mixers, and put some money down on what could be one of the heaviest shows of the season. (Dage)

With Hellfire

8pm, $25

Slim’s

333 11th St., SF

www.slimspresents.com

 

 

Growlers

I didn’t see the Growlers at Outside Lands last summer, or when the band played a VICE party in Mexico City while I traveled there that same month. Alas, I’ll be home for Christmas during its two nights at the Independent, so I’ll miss out again. Fortunately I can absorb the Costa Mesa band’s cult-like hippie vibes and appreciate its spooky, retro aesthetic through videos. You, however, should go. With a new EP, Gilded Pleasures, there’s a chance to hear some fresh material — and if the videos are any indication of the live experience, you’ll find the finger is on some filthy, reverb-rich pulse and you won’t be able to look away. (Andre Torrez)

With Abigails, Mystic Braves

Fri/20-Sat/21, 9pm, $20

Independent

628 Divisadero

www.theindependentsf.com

SATURDAY 12/21

 

Youth Brigade

Formed by brothers Adam, Mark, and Shawn Stern in 1980, Youth Brigade made its mark on the early California punk scene not only with empowering anthems like “Fight to Unite,” but also with the DIY attitude with which members went about making their music. The Los Angeles-born band started the Better Youth Organization to promote shows and put out records for themselves and for their friends’ bands, and after more than 30 years, the label continues to go strong, and the group still plays with a raw, rebellious energy and spirit. (McCourt)

With Civil War Rust, Rats in the Wall, Bum City Saints

9pm, $12

Thee Parkside

1600 17th St., SF

www.theeparkside.com

 

 

UpSwing Aerial Dance

Cherie Carson’s UpSwing Aerial Dance Company is a small, Berkeley-based group of people who love to spend their time on ropes and trapezes — and even, at times, on stilts and unicycles. Only three years old, the group grew out of a pickup ensemble that wanted to perform on a more regular basis. At home in the Eighth Street arts complex, where it also presents its shows, UpSwing honors the longest night of the year and the return of the sun with a Winter Solstice celebration. In addition to the UpSwing dancers, junior group Teens Who Fly will make an appearance. Alissa Kaplan Soto designed an interactive visual installation, and musicians Dave Worm, Midnight Ramblers, and Sahib Amar and Amar Singh will do their share to make this a welcoming, audience-participation-invited holiday event. (Rita Felciano)

5:30 and 8pm, $10-$25

Studio 12

2525 Eighth St, Berk

www.upswingaerialdance.org

 

 

Saturday Write Fever

Do you do some of your best writing under extreme duress? Can you act the hell out of a script that’s just been handed to you? Time to stretch your spontaneity muscles at Saturday Write Fever. Every third Saturday, EXIT Theatre and the San Francisco Theater Pub host writers and performers for a mixer that gives way to a 30-minute writing sprint on a topic chosen that night, during which participants turn out original monologues. Actors are then cast from the audience (no previous acting experience necessary!) for flash performances of these hot-off-the-press works. Hosted by local writers Stuart Bousel and Megan Cohen, this coming together of creative community may move at lightning speed, but it is certain to be unforgettable. (Kirstie Haruta)

8:30pm, free

EXIT Theatre

156 Eddy, SF

www.theexit.org

TUESDAY 12/24

 

Kung Pao Kosher Comedy

Years ago, comedian Lisa Geduldig put a new twist on the old unwritten law that says “Jews must go to a Chinese restaurant on Christmas” after finding herself telling Jewish jokes at the Peking Garden Club in South Hadley, Mass. Soon thereafter, Kung Pao Kosher Comedy was born. With two shows a night over three days, the 21st annual show offers six chances to escape the holiday madness and have a good laugh. This year’s headliner is Gary Gulman, a Boston native whose resume brims with late-night talk show appearances and Comedy Central spots; he was also a runner-up on Last Comic Standing. Joining him are stand-up and improv star Adrianne Tolsch; Asian American Theater Company Comedy Competition winner Samson Koletkar; and, of course, host Geduldig. Proceeds from the shows benefit San Francisco and Marin Food Banks’ Healthy Children Pantries and the San Francisco Jewish Home’s Esther Weintraub Comedy Clinic. (Haruta)

Dec 24-26, 6pm (dinner show); 9:30pm (cocktail show), $44-$64

New Asia Restaurant 772 Pacific, SF www.koshercomedy.com Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir Rise up, clap your hands, and sway to the beat, because tonight the Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir hollers holy at its 25th annual Holiday Concert. Rumor has it that temporary architectural reinforcements may be added to the walls at Slim’s, because the soulful bellowing of these gospel crooners could easily blow the roof off and bring down the house. Though the December holidays don’t immediately conjure up the deep timber and breathtaking vibrato of gospel and spiritual music, the OIGC’s mission — “to inspire joy and unity among all people” — coincides harmoniously with the holiday spirit. Joyful noise, indeed! (Baker) 7 and 9:30pm, $15 Slim’s 333 11th St, SF www.oigc.org

Rep Clock: December 18 – 24, 2013

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The Yerba Buena Center for the Arts’ “X: The History of a Film Rating” wraps up with Henry and June (1990).

PHOTO COURTESY OF UNIVERSAL

Schedules are for Wed/18-Tue/24 except where noted. Director and year are given when available. Double and triple features marked with a •. All times pm unless otherwise specified.

“ANOTHER HOLE IN THE HEAD FILM FESTIVAL” Balboa Theater, 3630 Balboa, SF; New People Cinema, 1746 Post, SF; www.sfindie.com. $12. Now in its 10th year, the festival highlights indie horror, sci-fi, and fantasy films, Wed-Thu.

ATA GALLERY 992 Valencia, SF; www.atasite.org. Free-$7. “Periwinkle Cinema: Voyeurs and Exhibitionists,” Wed, 8. “Shorts from the SF State Cinema Department (Fall 2013),” Thu, 7. “City College of SF Motion Picture Directing: Student Film Showcase,” Fri, 8. “Other Cinema:” “New Experimental Works,” Sat, 8:30.

BALBOA THEATRE 3630 Balboa, SF; cinemasf.com/balboa. $10. “Popcorn Palace:” It’s a Wonderful Life (Capra, 1946), Sat, 10am. Matinee for kids.

BERKELEY FELLOWSHIP OF UNITARIAN UNIVERSALISTS 1924 Cedar, Berk; www.bfuu.org. $5-10 donation. The World According to Monsanto (Robin, 2008), Thu, 7.

CASTRO 429 Castro, SF; (415) 621-6120, www.castrotheatre.com. $8.50-12. “Noir City Xmas 2013:” •Blast of Silence (Baron, 1961), and Christmas Eve (Marin, 1947), Wed, 7. With Blast of Silence director and star Allen Baron in person with his new book, Blast of Silence: A Memoir. •Gremlins (Danter, 1984), Thu, 7, and Lethal Weapon (Donner, 1987), Thu, 9. “Midnites for Maniacs: Horrific Holidays:” •Home for the Holidays (Foster, 1995), Fri, 7:15, and Love Actually (Curtis, 2003), Fri, 9:15. •Bullitt (Yates, 1968), Sat, 2:35, 7, and The Thomas Crown Affair (Jewison, 1968), Sat, 4:50, 9:15. It’s a Wonderful Life (Capra, 1946), Sun, 2, 5, 8. “San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus: Shine,” with guest artists Matt Alber and Marina Harris, Tue, 5, 7, 9. Advance tickets ($25-35) at www.sfgmc.org.

CHRISTOPHER B. SMITH RAFAEL FILM CENTER 1118 Fourth St, San Rafael; (415) 454-1222, www.cafilm.org. $6.50-$10.75. The Armstrong Lie (Gibney, 2013), call for dates and times. Bettie Page Reveals All (Mori, 2012), call for dates and times. Blue is the Warmest Color (Kechiche, 2013), call for dates and times. The Great Beauty (Sorrentino, 2013), call for dates and times.

CLAY 2261 Fillmore, SF; www.landmarktheatres.com. $10. “Midnight Movies:” Die Hard (McTiernan, 1988), Fri-Sat, midnight.

PACIFIC FILM ARCHIVE 2575 Bancroft, Berk; (510) 642-5249, bampfa.berkeley.edu. $5.50-9.50. PFA closed until Jan 16.

RANDALL MUSEUM 155 Museum Way, SF; elephants.brownpapertickets.com. $10-20. “An Evening with Elephants:” Sri Lanka: Elephant Island (Colbeck, 2013), Sat, 6. Followed by a slideshow and lecture about Asian elephants. Proceeds benefit elephant research and conservation efforts by Trunks & Leaves Inc.

ROXIE 3117 and 3125 16th St, SF; (415) 863-1087, www.roxie.com. $6.50-11. Is the Man Who is Tall Happy? (Gondry, 2013), Wed, 7, 9. The Punk Singer (Anderson, 2013), Wed-Thu, 7:15, 9. “Piaf: Her Story, Her Songs,” with Raquel Bitton, Thu, 8:15. This event, $25-40. Lenny Cooke (Safdie and Safdie, 2013), Dec 20-26, call for times. White Reindeer (Clark, 2013), Dec 20-26, 9:15 (also Sat-Sun, 2:45).

TANNERY 708 Gilman, Berk; berkeleyundergroundfilms.blogspot.com. Donations accepted. “Berkeley Underground Film Society:” March of the Wooden Soldiers (Meins and Rogers, 1934), Sun, 7:30.

YERBA BUENA CENTER FOR THE ARTS 701 Mission, SF; www.ybca.org. $8-10. “X: The History of a Film Rating:” Henry and June (Kaufman, 1990), Thu, 7:30. “Films by Fassbinder:” In a Year with 13 Moons (1978), Sat, 7:30. *

 

Film Listings: December 18 – 24, 2013

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Film listings are edited by Cheryl Eddy. Reviewers are Kimberly Chun, Dennis Harvey, Lynn Rapoport, Sam Stander, and Sara Maria Vizcarrondo. For rep house showtimes, see Rep Clock. For complete film listings, see www.sfbg.com.

OPENING

American Hustle See “All That Glitters.” (2:17)

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues See “Back in Burgundy.” (1:59) Metreon.

Go For Sisters “Looks like trouble,” grumbles disgraced former LAPD detective Freddy Suárez when he spots Bernice (Lisa Gay Hamilton) and Fontayne (Yolonda Ross) on his front lawn. The women — childhood friends, recently reunited by the awkward circumstance of parole officer Bernice being assigned to recovering drug addict Fontayne’s case — are looking for Bernice’s estranged son, missing and probably in grave danger due to his entanglements with gangsters in Mexico. Suárez, nicknamed “the Terminator” despite his grizzled exterior, agrees to help (for a price), and the unlikely threesome travel to Tijuana on Rodney’s trail. Border tales are the specialty of writer-director John Sayles (1996’s Lone Star), and as usual, “border” doesn’t only refer to a line on a map. Go For Sisters‘ characters are mostly living between worlds, with morals that shift according to the situation. (The constant is the rekindled friendship between Bernice and Fontayne, once so close they could pass for sisters, or “go for sisters,” per the title.) If the resulting film is a little more rambling than Sayles’ best work, it still offers an experience that feels lived-in and authentic. (2:02) Opera Plaza. (Eddy)

Inside Llewyn Davis In the Coen Brothers’ latest, Oscar Isaac as the titular character is well on his way to becoming persona non grata in 1961 NYC — particularly in the Greenwich Village folk music scene he’s an ornery part of. He’s broke, running out of couches to crash on, has recorded a couple records that have gone nowhere, and now finds out he’s impregnated the wife (Carey Mulligan) and musical partner of one among the few friends (Justin Timberlake) he has left. She’s furious with herself over this predicament, but even more furious at him. This ambling, anecdotal tale finds Llewyn running into one exasperating hurdle after another as he burns his last remaining bridges, not just in Manhattan but on a road trip to Chicago undertaken with an overbearing jazz musician (John Goodman) and his enigmatic driver (Garrett Hedlund) to see a club impresario (F. Murray Abraham). This small, muted, droll Coens exercise is perfectly handled in terms of performance and atmosphere, with pleasures aplenty in its small plot surprises, myriad humorous idiosyncrasies, and T. Bone Burnett’s sweetened folk arrangements. But whether it actually has anything to say about its milieu (a hugely important Petri dish for later ’60s political and musical developments), or adds up to anything more profound than an beautifully executed shaggy-dog story, will be a matter of personal taste — or perhaps of multiple viewings. (1:45) Embarcadero. (Harvey)

Lenny Cooke In 2001, Brooklyn-raised Lenny Cooke was the number one high school basketball player in America — rated higher than future NBA megastars like Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James. This doc from brothers Joshua and Benny Safdie is largely a cautionary tale, starting with Cooke’s decision to forego college and enter the NBA draft after a much-hyped but unstable high school career. Footage shot by producer Adam Shopkorn — who followed Cooke during his late teenage years, hoping to track a star being born — captures Cooke excitedly watching the 2001 draft, when multiple “prep-to-pro” players were selected in the first round. It also shows him engaged in a fierce basketball camp match-up with the slightly younger James, who gets the better of him. An unlikely voice of reason comes early, when Kobe Bryant advises Cooke and other young players “Don’t rely on basketball for your happiness, because it’s not gonna happen.” Indeed, the 19-year-old Cooke goes undrafted in 2002, instead playing in various lesser leagues (including a stint in Quezon City, Philippines) before drifting away from his dreams. Inevitably, Lenny Cooke catches up with its subject in more recent years: nearing 30, noticeably overweight, and by turns reflective, regretful, angry, and humbled, cooking for his family as a New York Times sports reporter takes notes on what “not making it” looks like. (1:30) Roxie. (Eddy)

Walking With Dinosaurs Like hungry, fast-moving Chirostenotes, movieland has a habit of poaching from all comers, be it a toy, video game, or here, a hugely successful 1999 BBC documentary miniseries of the same name. This 3D hamburger version of the award-winning six-parter plays to dinos’ most avid audience, traditionally — kids — by anthropomorphizing runt Pachyrhinosaurus, otherwise known as Patchi (voiced by Justin Long), as the scrappy young hero of this adventure and dramatizing life-and-death migrations his herd undertakes each year as rites of passage. Framing the adventure is a present-day dig with archaeologist Zack (Karl Urban), his skeptical nephew (Charlie Rowe), and gung-ho niece (Angourie Rice). With a broken 70 million-year-old tooth in hand — and with help from prehistoric Alexomis bird Alex (John Leguizamo, who provides most of the levity), we learn about Patchi, his brother Scowler (Skyler Stone), and their herd of horned, thick-noised lizards as they make their way south for winter and back, encountering multiple dangers and predators, as well as let’s-make-a-family delights in the form of young female Juniper (Tiya Sircar) along with way. Count on the CGI to be seamless, the 3D to come in handy when it comes to incoming Quetzalcoatlus, and the choice of not having the lizards’ lips move as they speak to seem tasteful and wise — especially when it comes dubbing for a global audience. (1:27) Elmwood. (Chun)

White Reindeer Washington, DC area realtor Suzanne (Anna Margaret Hollyman) is in full Yuletide spirit well before Jesus’ actual b-day, looking forward to moving in the new year to Hawaii with her TV weatherman husband. But holiday cheer goes down the toilet when she comes home one day to find he’s been shot to death during an attempted break-in. While attempting to be supportive, her parents offer further trauma by announcing that they’re about to break up after probably 40 years or so of marriage. And a mourner at the wake unnecessarily unburdens himself of a secret he might well have kept: Suzanne’s late husband was pretty heavily involved with a local stripper, Autumn, a.k.a. Fantasia (Laura Lemar-Goldsborough). Suzanne seeks her out, first to get some closure, then to “hang out” — part of a pretty crazed grieving process that eventually involves much clubbing, drinking, snorting, and some swinging (new neighbors who bought their home through her turn out to be sexually … adventurous). Zach Clark’s bittersweet semi-black comedy set during a very white Christmas delivers outré content in a low-key, attuned to the emotional realities of characters whose actions make a certain internal sense even when they make absolutely none externally. It’s a holiday movie about depression that is not, ultimately, depressing in itself. (1:22) Roxie. (Harvey)

ONGOING

About Time Richard Curtis, the man behind 2003’s Love Actually, must be enjoying his days in England, rolling in large piles of money. Coinciding with the 10-year anniversary of that twee cinematic love fest comes Curtis’ latest ode to joy, About Time. The film begins in Cornwall at an idyllic stone beach house, as Tim (Domhnall Gleeson) describes his family members (Bill Nighy is dad; Richard Cordery is the crazy uncle) and their pleasures (tea on the beach, ping pong). Despite beachside bliss, Tim is lovelorn and ready to begin a career as a barrister (which feels as out of the blue as the coming first act break). Oh! And as it happens, the men in Tim’s family can travel back in time. There are no clear rules, though births and deaths are like no-trespass signs on the imaginary timeline. When he meets Mary (Rachel McAdams), he falls in love, but if he paves over his own evening by bouncing back and spending that night elsewhere, he loses the path he’s worn into the map and has to fix it. Again and again. Despite potential repetition, About Time moves smoothly, sweetly, slowly along, giving its audience time enough to feel for the characters, and then feel for the characters again, and then keep crying just because the ball’s already in motion. It’s the most nest-like catharsis any British film ever built. (2:03) SF Center. (Vizcarrondo)

All Is Lost As other reviewers have pointed out, All Is Lost‘s nearly dialogue-free script (OK, there is one really, really well-placed “Fuuuuuck!”) is about as far from J.C. Chandor’s Oscar-nominated script for 2011’s Margin Call as possible. Props to the filmmaker, then, for crafting as much pulse-pounding magic out of austerity as he did with that multi-character gabfest. Here, Robert Redford plays “Our Man,” a solo sailor whose race to survive begins along with the film, as his boat collides with a hunk of Indian Ocean detritus. Before long, he’s completely adrift, yet determined to outwit the forces of nature that seem intent on bringing him down. The 77-year-old Redford turns in a surprisingly physical performance that’s sure to be remembered as a late-career highlight. (1:46) Elmwood, SF Center, Sundance Kabuki. (Eddy)

The Armstrong Lie “This is a story about power, not doping,” a talking head points out in Alex Gibney’s latest doc, The Armstrong Lie. Gibney, an Oscar winner for 2007’s Taxi to the Dark Side, set out to make something more along the lines of The Armstrong Return, shadowing Lance Armstrong as he prepped for his 2009 Tour de France comeback. He envisioned crafting a “feel-good movie,” especially when Armstrong notched an impressive third-place finish — a feat intended to silence those performance-enhancing drug rumors once and for all. In the end, it only amplified the skepticism that loomed over his accomplishments. And as the evidence against Armstrong mounted, Gibney scrapped his original concept and went in a decidedly darker direction. Armstrong’s critics, interviewed for Lie, admit they spotted the acclaimed documentarian among Armstrong’s Tour de France entourage and feared he was “buying into the bullshit.” Among these voices are Armstrong’s former US Postal Service teammate, Frankie Andreu, and his wife, Betsy, who’d been excoriated by their former good friend and his supporters for speaking out against him. A feel-good movie, this is not. And ultimately, Gibney’s film probes deeper than Armstrong’s flaws; it’s careful to point out that drug use is widespread among professional cyclists, who are surrounded by an insular, high-stakes culture that encourages it. The sports world lives and dies by the next world record or superhuman achievement. Is it any wonder that elite athletes seek out that extra competitive edge? And that Armstrong, in fully-inflated ego mode, would believe he had the power to rearrange reality to keep his victories intact? (2:03) Smith Rafael. (Eddy)

Bettie Page Reveals All Mark Mori’s affectionate Bettie Page Reveals All is narrated in the form of a rambling, chuckle-punctuated interview with the late pin-up icon herself. (We never actually see her except in archival film and images.) Even die-hards who already know the story behind the legend — a rough childhood, several unsuccessful marriages, mental-health issues — will likely learn some new tidbits. (A friend recalls watching 2005’s unauthorized biopic The Notorious Bettie Page with its subject, who hollered her opinion — “Lies! Lies!” — throughout.) Associates like Hugh Hefner and Dita Von Teese drop by to praise Page’s talents and legacy, but there’s no greater proof of lasting glamour than Page’s famous photographs, which she clearly loved posing for, and never regretted, even after embracing Christianity later in life. (1:41) Smith Rafael. (Eddy)

The Book Thief One of those novels that seems to have been categorized as “young adult” more for reasons of marketing than anything else, Markus Zusak’s international best seller gets an effective screen adaptation from director Brian Percival and scenarist Michael Petroni. Liesl (Sophie Nelisse) is an illiterate orphan — for all practical purposes, that is, given the likely fate of her left-leaning parents in a just-pre-World War II Nazi Germany — deposited by authorities on the doorstep of the middle-aged, childless Hubermanns in 1938. Rosa (Emily Watson) is a ceaseless nag and worrywart, even if her bark is worse than her bite; kindly housepainter Hans (Geoffrey Rush), who’s lost work by refusing to join “the Party,” makes a game of teacher Liesl how to read. Her subsequent fascination with books attracts the notice of the local Burgermeister’s wife (Barbara Auer), who under the nose of her stern husband lets the girl peruse tomes from her manse’s extensive library. But that secret is trivial compared to the Hubermanns’ hiding of Max Vandenburg (Ben Schnetzer), son of Jewish comrade who’d saved Hans’ life in the prior world war. When war breaks out anew, this harboring of a fugitive becomes even more dangerous, something Liesl can’t share even with her best friend Rudy (Nico Liersch). While some of the book’s subplots and secondary characters are sacrificed for the sake of expediency, the filmmakers have crafted a potent, intelligent drama whose judicious understatement extends to the subtlest (and first non-Spielberg) score John Williams has written in years. Rush, Watson, and newcomer Schnetzer are particularly good in the well-chosen cast. (2:11) Metreon. (Harvey)

Blue is the Warmest Color The stars (Adèle Exarchopoulos and Léa Seydoux) say the director was brutal. The director says he wishes the film had never been released (but he might make a sequel). The graphic novelist is uncomfortable with the explicit 10-minute sex scene. And most of the state of Idaho will have to wait to see the film on Netflix. The noise of recrimination, the lesser murmur of backpedaling, and a difficult-to-argue NC-17 rating could make it harder, as French director Abdellatif Kechiche has predicted, to find a calm, neutral zone in which to watch Blue is the Warmest Color, his Palme d’Or–winning adaptation (with co-writer Ghalya Lacroix) of Julie Maroh’s 2010 graphic novel Le Blue Est une Couleur Chaude. But once you’ve committed to the three-hour runtime, it’s not too difficult to tune out all the extra noise and focus on a film that trains its mesmerized gaze on a young woman’s transforming experience of first love. (2:59) Clay, Smith Rafael. (Rapoport)

Blue Jasmine The good news about Blue Jasmine isn’t that it’s set in San Francisco, but that it’s Woody Allen’s best movie in years. Although some familiar characteristics are duly present, it’s not quite like anything he’s done before, and carries its essentially dramatic weight more effectively than he’s managed in at least a couple decades. Not long ago Jasmine (a fearless Cate Blanchett) was the quintessential Manhattan hostess, but that glittering bubble has burst — exactly how revealed in flashbacks that spring surprises up to the script’s end. She crawls to the West Coast to “start over” in the sole place available where she won’t be mortified by the pity of erstwhile society friends. That would be the SF apartment of Ginger (Sally Hawkins), a fellow adoptive sister who was always looked down on by comparison to pretty, clever Jasmine. Theirs is an uneasy alliance — but Ginger’s too big-hearted to say no. It’s somewhat disappointing that Blue Jasmine doesn’t really do much with San Francisco. Really, the film could take place anywhere — although setting it in a non-picture-postcard SF does bolster the film’s unsettled, unpredictable air. Without being an outright villain, Jasmine is one of the least likable characters to carry a major US film since Noah Baumbach’s underrated Margot at the Wedding (2007); the general plot shell, moreover, is strongly redolent of A Streetcar Named Desire. But whatever inspiration Allen took from prior works, Blue Jasmine is still distinctively his own invention. It’s frequently funny in throwaway performance bits, yet disturbing, even devastating in cumulative impact. (1:38) Elmwood, Opera Plaza. (Harvey)

Captain Phillips In 2009, Captain Richard Phillips was taken hostage by Somali pirates who’d hijacked the Kenya-bound Maersk Alabama. His subsequent rescue by Navy SEALs came after a standoff that ended in the death of three pirates; a fourth, Abduwali Abdukhadir Muse, surrendered and is serving a hefty term in federal prison. A year later, Phillips penned a book about his ordeal, and Hollywood pounced. Tom Hanks is perfectly cast as Phillips, an everyman who runs a tight ship but displays an admirable ability to improvise under pressure — and, once rescued, finally allows that pressure to diffuse in a scene of memorably raw catharsis. Newcomer Barkhad Abdi, cast from an open call among Minneapolis’ large Somali community, plays Muse; his character development goes deep enough to emphasize that piracy is one of few grim career options for Somali youths. But the real star here is probably director Paul Greengrass, who adds this suspenseful high-seas tale to his slate of intelligent, doc-inspired thrillers (2006’s United 93, 2007’s The Bourne Ultimatum). Suffice to say fans of the reigning king of fast-paced, handheld-camera action will not be disappointed. (2:14) Elmwood, SF Center, Sundance Kabuki. (Eddy)

Dallas Buyers Club Dallas Buyers Club is the first all-US feature from Jean-Marc Vallée. He first made a splash in 2005 with C.R.A.Z.Y., which seemed an archetype of the flashy, coming-of-age themed debut feature. Vallée has evolved beyond flashiness, or maybe since C.R.A.Z.Y. he just hasn’t had a subject that seemed to call for it. Which is not to say Dallas is entirely sober — its characters partake from the gamut of altering substances, over-the-counter and otherwise. But this is a movie about AIDS, so the purely recreational good times must eventually crash to an end. Which they do pretty quickly. We first meet Ron Woodroof (Matthew McConaughey) in 1986, a Texas good ol’ boy endlessly chasing skirts and partying nonstop. Not feeling quite right, he visits a doctor, who informs him that he is HIV-positive. His response is “I ain’t no faggot, motherfucker” — and increased partying that he barely survives. Afterward, he pulls himself together enough to research his options, and bribes a hospital attendant into raiding its trial supply of AZT for him. But Ron also discovers the hard way what many first-generation AIDS patients did — that AZT is itself toxic. He ends up in a Mexican clinic run by a disgraced American physician (Griffin Dunne) who recommends a regime consisting mostly of vitamins and herbal treatments. Ron realizes a commercial opportunity, and finds a business partner in willowy cross-dresser Rayon (Jared Leto). When the authorities keep cracking down on their trade, savvy Ron takes a cue from gay activists in Manhattan and creates a law evading “buyers club” in which members pay monthly dues rather than paying directly for pharmaceutical goods. It’s a tale that the scenarists (Craig Borten and Melisa Wallack) and director steep in deep Texan atmospherics, and while it takes itself seriously when and where it ought, Dallas Buyers Club is a movie whose frequent, entertaining jauntiness is based in that most American value: get-rich-quick entrepreneurship. (1:58) Embarcadero, 1000 Van Ness, Sundance Kabuki. (Harvey)

Delivery Man Twenty years ago David Wozniak (Vince Vaughn) “put love in a cup” 600-plus times to finance a family trip to Italy. His mother was sick, his father couldn’t afford it, and with time running out, David embarked on a harebrained scheme to make (a lot of) “it” happen. The sperm bank that paid him $23K for his “seed” overused it, and 18 years later he has 533 kids, 143 of which are on a hunt to find their biological father, “Starbuck.” (This also the name of the 2011 Canadian comedy on which Delivery Man is based.) With a premise this quirky you’ll have a hard time finding something to hate, even if this is technically a film about runaway jizz. This heartwarming Thanksgiving release isn’t really appropriate for youngsters (unless you’re been trying to find a entrée to explain sperm banks) but the way Delivery Man deals with the seemingly limitless generosity contained in each of us is both touching and inspiring. Maybe David’s contribution to “Starbuck’s Kids” doesn’t obligate him to reveal his identity, but he’s desperately attached, and goes embarrassingly far outside his comfort zone to interact. The kids’ emotional stake in this is murky, but the way their search for identity finds a voice in tune with the current tech-confident yet socially-confused younger generation could make Delivery Man relevant to more generations than X or Y. (1:45) SF Center. (Vizcarrondo)

Ender’s Game Those entering Ender’s Game in search of homophobic threads or politically unsavory themes will likely be frustrated. After all, Orson Scott Card — once a board member of the National Organization for Marriage, and here serving as a producer intent on preserving the 1985 novel that netted him acclaim — has revisited what was initially a short story multiple times over the years, tweaking it to reflect a new political climate, to ready it for new expedient uses. Who knows — the times are a-changin’ fast enough, with the outcry of LGBT activists and the growing acceptance of gay military members, to hope that a gay character might enter the mix someday. Of course, sexuality of all sorts is kept firmly in check in the Ender‘s world. Earth has been invaded by an insect-like species called the Formics, and the planet unifies to serve up its best and brightest (and, it’s implied, most ruthless) young minds, sharpened on first-person-shooters and tactical games, to the cause of defeating the alien “other.” Andrew “Ender” Wiggin (Asa Butterfield) is the knowing hybrid of his sociopath brother Peter (Jimmy Pinchak) and compassionate sister Valentine (Abigail Breslin) — of the trinity, he’s “the One,” as Han Solo, I mean, Harrison Ford, cadet talent-spotter and trainer Colonel Graff, puts it. Ender impresses the leather off the hardened old war horse, though the Colonel’s psychologically more equipped cohort Major Anderson (Viola Davis) suspects there’s more going on within their chosen leader. Director-screenwriter Gavin Hood demonstrates his allegiance to Card’s vision, valorizing the discipline and teamwork instilled by military school with the grim purpose and dead serious pleasure one might take in studying a well-oiled machine, while Ender is sharpened and employed as a stunningly effective tool in a war he never truly conceived of. This game has a bit more in common with the recent Wii-meets-Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Godzillas of Pacific Rim than the winking, acidic satire of Starship Troopers (1997), echoing a drone-driven War on Terror that has a way of detaching even the most evolved fighter from the consequences of his or her actions. The question is how to undo, or rewrite, the damage done. (1:54) SF Center. (Chun)

Frozen (1:48) Metreon, 1000 Van Ness, Vogue.

Gravity “Life in space is impossible,” begins Gravity, the latest from Alfonso Cuarón (2006’s Children of Men). Egghead Dr. Ryan Stone (Sandra Bullock) is well aware of her precarious situation after a mangled satellite slams into her ship, then proceeds to demolition-derby everything (including the International Space Station) in its path. It’s not long before she’s utterly, terrifyingly alone, and forced to unearth near-superhuman reserves of physical and mental strength to survive. Bullock’s performance would be enough to recommend Gravity, but there’s more to praise, like the film’s tense pacing, spare-yet-layered script (Cuarón co-wrote with his son, Jonás), and spectacular 3D photography — not to mention George Clooney’s warm supporting turn as a career astronaut who loves country music almost as much as he loves telling stories about his misadventures. (1:31) Castro, Metreon, 1000 Van Ness. (Eddy)

The Great Beauty The latest from Paolo Sorrentino (2008’s Il Divo) arrives as a high-profile contender for the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar, already annointed a masterpiece in some quarters, and duly announcing itself as such in nearly every grandiose, aesthetically engorged moment. Yes, it seems to say, you are in the presence of this auteur’s masterpiece. But it’s somebody else’s, too. The problem isn’t just that Fellini got there first, but that there’s room for doubt whether Sorrentino’s homage actually builds on or simply imitates its model. La Dolce Vita (1960) and 8 1/2 (1963) are themselves swaying, jerry-built monuments, exhileratingly messy and debatably profound. But nothing quite like them had been seen before, and they did define a time of cultural upheaval — when traditional ways of life were being plowed under by a loud, moneyed, heedless modernity that for a while chose Rome as its global capital. Sorrentino announces his intention to out-Fellini Fellini in an opening sequence so strenuously flamboyant it’s like a never-ending pirouette performed by a prima dancer with a hernia. There’s statuary, a women’s choral ensemble, an on-screen audience applauding the director’s baffled muse Toni Servillo, standing in for Marcello Mastroianni — all this and more in manic tracking shots and frantic intercutting, as if sheer speed alone could supply contemporary relevancy. Eventually The Great Beauty calms down a bit, but still its reason for being remains vague behind the heavy curtain of “style.” (2:22) Opera Plaza, Smith Rafael. (Harvey)

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Just when you’d managed to wipe 2012’s unwieldy The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey from your mind, here comes its sequel — and it’s actually good! Yes, it’s too long (Peter Jackson wouldn’t have it any other way); arachnophobes (and maybe small children) will have trouble with the creepy, giant-spider battle; and Orlando Bloom, reprising his Lord of the Rings role as Legolas the elf, has been CG’d to the point of looking like he’s carved out of plastic. But there’s much more to enjoy this time around, with a quicker pace (no long, drawn-out dinner parties); winning performances by Martin Freeman (Bilbo), Ian McKellan (Gandalf); and Benedict Cumberbatch (as the petulent voice of Smaug the dragon); and more shape to the quest, as the crew of dwarves seeks to reclaim their homeland, and Gandalf pokes into a deeper evil that’s starting to overtake Middle-earth. (We all know how that ends.) In addition to Cumberbatch, the cast now includes Lost‘s Evangeline Lilly as elf Tauriel, who doesn’t appear in J.R.R. Tolkien’s original story, but whose lady-warrior presence is a welcome one; and Luke Evans as Bard, a human poised to play a key role in defeating Smaug in next year’s trilogy-ender, There and Back Again. (2:36) Balboa, Cerrito, Metreon, 1000 Van Ness, Sundance Kabuki. (Eddy)

Homefront It’s not clear if Jason Statham’s undercover DEA agent is retired, but after a major meth bust he loses his scraggly mop of hair and put-on accent to enter seclusion in a town “not far from Appalachia.” He’s taught his daughter well, but when she defends herself against a school bully, the family incurs the wrath of the local tweaker-tiger mom (Kate Bosworth). Tiger Mom’s brother is the local meth lord, Gator (James Franco). He’s in cahoots with the Sheriff (Clancy Brown) and aspires to the heights of the biker badass Agent Statham put away, so he causes trouble for Statham’s family. Winona Ryder, looking more like Cher’s kid than she did in 1990’s Mermaids, is the “meth-whore” who starts a bustling lab with her business-savvy BF, and while she’s hardly out-performing any of the cast, she’s definitely the film’s best character. This mess of wonky editing and absurd send-ups totally delivers on gags and explosions, and when Franco sees his future he looks at it like a CEO applying at Starbucks. His face says “What the hell happened?” but his mouth yells, regrettably, “Are you retarded?” (1:40) SF Center. (Vizcarrondo)

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire Before succumbing to the hot and heavy action inside the arena (intensely directed by Francis Lawrence) The Hunger Games: Catching Fire force-feeds you a world of heinous concept fashions that’d make Lady Gaga laugh. But that’s ok, because the second film about one girl’s epic struggle to change the world of Panem may be even more exciting than the first. Suzanne Collins’ YA novel The Hunger Games was an over-literal metaphor for junior high social survival and the glory of Catching Fire is that it depicts what comes after you reach the cool kids’ table. Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) inspired so much hope among the 12 districts she now faces pressures from President Snow (a portentous Donald Sutherland) and the fanatical press of Capital City (Stanley Tucci with big teeth and Toby Jones with big hair). After she’s forced to fake a romance with Peeta (Josh Hutcherson), the two watch with horror as they’re faced with a new Hunger Game: for returning victors, many of whom are too old to run. Amanda Plummer and Jeffrey Wright are fun as brainy wackjobs and Jena Malone is hilariously Amazonian as a serial axe grinder still screaming like an eighth grader. Inside the arena, alliances and rivalries shift but the winner’s circle could survive to see another revolution; to save this city, they may have to burn it down. (2:26) Balboa, Metreon, 1000 Van Ness, Sundance Kabuki. (Vizcarrondo)

Nebraska Alexander Payne may be unique at this point in that he’s in a position of being able to make nothing but small, human, and humorous films with major-studio money on his own terms. It’s hazardous to make too much of a movie like Nebraska, because it is small — despite the wide Great Plains landscapes shot in a wide screen format — and shouldn’t be entered into with overinflated or otherwise wrong-headed expectations. Still, a certain gratitude is called for. Nebraska marks the first time Payne and his writing partner Jim Taylor weren’t involved in the script, and the first one since their 1996 Citizen Ruth that isn’t based on someone else’s novel. (Hitherto little-known Bob Nelson’s original screenplay apparently first came to Payne’s notice a decade ago, but getting put off in favor of other projects.) It could easily have been a novel, though, as the things it does very well (internal thought, sense of place, character nuance) and the things it doesn’t much bother with (plot, action, dialogue) are more in line with literary fiction than commercial cinema. Elderly Woody T. Grant (Bruce Dern) keeps being found grimly trudging through snow and whatnot on the outskirts of Billings, Mont., bound for Lincoln, Neb. Brain fuzzed by age and booze, he’s convinced he’s won a million dollars and needs to collect it him there, though eventually it’s clear that something bigger than reality — or senility, even — is compelling him to make this trek. Long-suffering younger son David (Will Forte) agrees to drive him in order to simply put the matter to rest. This fool’s mission acquires a whole extended family-full of other fools when father and son detour to the former’s podunk farming hometown. Nebraska has no moments so funny or dramatic they’d look outstanding in excerpt; low-key as they were, 2009’s Sideways and 2011’s The Descendants had bigger set pieces and narrative stakes. But like those movies, this one just ambles along until you realize you’re completely hooked, all positive emotional responses on full alert. (1:55) Embarcadero. (Harvey)

Out of the Furnace Scott Cooper is best-known for directing Jeff Bridges to a long-overdue Oscar in 2009 country-music yarn Crazy Heart. Perhaps that’s why his follow-up contains so many stars: Christian Bale, Casey Affleck, Forest Whitaker, Willem Dafoe, Sam Shepard, Zoe Saldana, and Woody Harrelson. That cast is the main draw for Out of the Furnace, a glum fable of dying American dreams co-written by Cooper and Brad Inglesby. Furnace retains Crazy Heart‘s melodramatic tendencies and good ol’ boy milieu, though this time we’re deep in Pennsylvania’s Rust Belt, which manages to be even more depressing than Crazy Horse‘s honky-tonks. Cue gray skies, repeated shots of train tracks and smoke stacks, an emo banjo score, and dialogue that casually mentions that “the mill,” the only source of income for miles around, is about to close. Probably the nicest guy in town is Bale’s character, arrested early on for causing a fatal car accident thanks to his inability to turn down a drink offered by the town heavy (Dafoe). Post-prison, he discovers that his girlfriend (Saldana) has taken up with another man, and that his money-troubled Iraq-vet brother (Affleck) has been entering high-stakes pit fights. Really, this can’t end well for anyone. Adding to Out of the Furnace‘s bleak take on modern masculinity is Harrelson, stealing all his scenes with ease as a psychotically violent redneck. Mickey Knox lives! (1:56) 1000 Van Ness, SF Center, Sundance Kabuki. (Eddy)

Philomena Judi Dench gives this twist on a real-life scandal heart, soul, and a nuanced, everyday heft. Her ideal, ironic foil is Steve Coogan, playing an upper-crusty irreverent snob of an investigative journalist. Judging by her tidy exterior, Dench’s title character is a perfectly ordinary Irish working-class senior, but she’s haunted by the past, which comes tumbling out one day to her daughter: As an unwed teenager, she gave birth to a son at a convent. She was forced to work there, unpaid; as supposed penance, the baby was essentially sold to a rich American couple against her consent. Her yarn reaches disgraced reporter Martin Sixsmith (Coogan), who initially turns his nose up at the tale’s piddling “human interest” angle, but slowly gets drawn in by the unexpected twists and turns of the story — and likely the possibility of taking down some evil nuns — as well as seemingly naive Philomena herself, with her delight in trash culture, frank talk about sex, and simple desire to see her son and know that he thought, once in a while, of her. It turns out Philomena’s own sad narrative has as many improbable turnarounds as one of the cheesy romance novels she favors, and though this unexpected twosome’s quest for the truth is strenuously reworked to conform to the contours of buddy movie-road trip arc that we’re all too familiar with, director Stephen Frears’ warm, light-handed take on the gentle class struggles going on between the writer and his subject about who’s in control of the story makes up for Philomena‘s determined quest for mass appeal. (1:35) Embarcadero, 1000 Van Ness, Sundance Kabuki. (Chun)

The Punk Singer It was strange when Kathleen Hanna — riot grrrl activist, iconic Bikini Kill battle cry leader, electro-popping Le Tigre singer — went silent. Beat down by a mysterious illness, she seemingly tumbled into hardcore self-preservation mode, contributing her personal files of zines, show flyers, and lyrics to the “Riot Grrrl Collection” at New York University’s Fales Library. This archival material would prove key to Sini Anderson’s new documentary about Hanna, The Punk Singer. The film includes many lesser-seen clips from the early days of Bikini Kill, the band’s tours through Europe, and early moments with Hanna’s husband, Beastie Boy Adam Horovitz, and it uses archival footage and present-day interviews to color in Hanna’s childhood, the beginning of the riot grrrl movement, Le Tigre, and her post-Bikini Kill solo project, the Julie Ruin. The bulk of filming was done over the course of a year — and it was a momentous one: Halfway through, Hanna was diagnosed with late-stage neurological Lyme disease. The revelation spurred Anderson (who also has Lyme disease) to focus on the strength in Hanna’s vulnerability, and to depict how her subject chose to view her illness as motivation to return to music. Anderson’s interviews with Hanna are intimate and enlightening; the film also features commentary from Bikini Kill’s Tobi Vail, Billy Karren, and Kathi Wilcox (now of the Julie Ruin); Kim Gordon; Joan Jett; Carrie Brownstein and Corin Tucker; and teenage Rookie Magazine editor Tavi Gevinson. (1:56) Roxie. (Emily Savage)

Saving Mr. Banks Having promised his daughters that he would make a movie of their beloved Mary Poppins books, Walt Disney (Tom Hanks) has laid polite siege to author P.L. Travers (Emma Thompson) for over 20 years. Now, in the early 1960s, she has finally consented to discuss the matter in Los Angeles — albeit with great reluctance, and only because royalty payments have dried up to the point where she might have to sell her London home. Bristling at being called “Pam” and everything else in this sunny SoCal and relentlessly cheery Mouse House environ, the acidic English spinster regards her creation as sacred. The least proposed changes earn her horrified dismissal, and the very notion of having Mary and company “prancing and chirping” out songs amid cartoon elements is taken as blasphemy. This clash of titans could have made for a barbed comedy with satirical elements, but god forbid this actual Disney production should get so cheeky. Instead, we get the formulaically dramatized tale of a shrew duly tamed by all-American enterprise, with flashbacks to the inevitable past traumas (involving Colin Farrell as a beloved but alcoholic ne’er-do-well father) that require healing of Travers’ wounded inner child by the magic of the Magic Kingdom. If you thought 2004’s Finding Neverland was contrived feel-good stuff, you’ll really choke on the spoons full of sugar force-fed here. (2:06) Cerrito, SF Center. (Harvey)

Thor: The Dark World Since any tentacle of Marvel’s Avengers universe now comes equipped with its own money-printing factory, it’s likely we’ll keep seeing sequels and spin-offs for approximately the next 100 years. With its by-the-numbers plot and “Yeah, seen that before” 3D effects, Thor: The Dark World is forced to rely heavily on the charisma of its leads — Chris Hemsworth as the titular hammer-swinger; Tom Hiddleston as his brooding brother Loki — to hold audience interest. Fortunately, these two (along with Anthony Hopkins, Natalie Portman, Idris Elba, and the rest of the supporting cast, most of whom return from the first film) appear to be having a blast under the direction of Alan Taylor, a TV veteran whose credits include multiple Game of Thrones eps. Not that any Avengers flick carries much heft, but especially here, jokey asides far outweigh any moments of actual drama (the plot, about an alien race led by Christopher Eccleston in “dark elf” drag intent on capturing an ancient weapon with the power to destroy all the realms, etc. etc., matters very little). Fanboys and -girls, this one’s for you … and only you. (2:00) Metreon, 1000 Van Ness. (Eddy)

12 Years a Slave Pop culture’s engagement with slavery has always been uneasy. Landmark 1977 miniseries Roots set ratings records, but the prestigious production capped off a decade that had seen some more questionable endeavors, including 1975 exploitation flick Mandingo — often cited by Quentin Tarantino as one of his favorite films; it was a clear influence on his 2012 revenge fantasy Django Unchained, which approached its subject matter in a manner that paid homage to the Westerns it riffed on: with guns blazing. By contrast, Steve McQueen’s 12 Years a Slave is nuanced and steeped in realism. Though it does contain scenes of violence (deliberately captured in long takes by regular McQueen collaborator Sean Bobbitt, whose cinematography is one of the film’s many stylistic achievements), the film emphasizes the horrors of “the peculiar institution” by repeatedly showing how accepted and ingrained it was. Slave is based on the true story of Solomon Northup, an African American man who was sold into slavery in 1841 and survived to pen a wrenching account of his experiences. He’s portrayed here by the powerful Chiwetel Ejiofor. Other standout performances come courtesy of McQueen favorite Michael Fassbender (as Epps, a plantation owner who exacerbates what’s clearly an unwell mind with copious amounts of booze) and newcomer Lupita Nyong’o, as a slave who attracts Epps’ cruel attentions. (2:14) Embarcadero, 1000 Van Ness, Sundance Kabuki. (Eddy)

20 Feet From Stardom Singing the praises of those otherwise neglected backup vocalists who put the soul into that Wall of Sound, brought heft to “Young Americans,” and lent real fury to “Gimme Shelter,” 20 Feet From Stardom is doing the rock ‘n’ roll true believer’s good work. Director Morgan Neville follows a handful of mainly female, mostly African American backing vocal legends, charts their skewed career trajectories as they rake in major credits and keep working long after one-hit wonders are forgotten (the Waters family) but fail to make their name known to the public (Merry Clayton), grasp Grammy approval yet somehow fail to follow through (Lisa Fischer), and keep narrowly missing the prize (Judith Hill) as label recording budgets shrivel and the tastes, technology, and the industry shift. Neville gives these industry pros and soulful survivors in a rocked-out, sample-heavy, DIY world their due on many levels, covering the low-coverage minis, Concert for Bangladesh high points, gossipy rumors, and sheer love for the blend that those intertwined voices achieve. One wishes the director had done more than simply touch in the backup successes out there, like Luther Vandross, and dug deeper to break down the reasons Fischer succumbed to the sophomore slump. But one can’t deny the passion in the voices he’s chosen to follow — and the righteous belief the Neville clearly has in his subjects, especially when, like Hill, they are ready to pick themselves up and carry on after being told they’re not “the Voice.” (1:30) Metreon. (Chun)

Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas (1:45) Metreon, 1000 Van Ness. *

 

Homework troubles

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joe@sfbg.com

The San Francisco Board of Education approved a land swap with city government on Dec. 10, gifting San Francisco an empty lot that it will use to build new affordable housing. That’s 115 units of living space for low-income San Francisco renters, wrapped in a bow for the holidays.

The proposal was the brainchild of board members Hydra Mendoza-McDonnell and Sandra Lee Fewer, who worked on the measure with the Mayor’s Office of Housing for over two years. The district will trade a lot on 1950 Mission street and another on Connecticut Street in exchange for a property it currently rents from the city of San Francisco. The city will also pay SFUSD $4.5 million, according to district data.

The deal was the culmination of that work, which Fewer said was the right thing to do.

“Could we get more money from [selling] this property with a private developer? I’m sure. But would we get the value? No,” Fewer said at the meeting.

The original intent of the land swap was to provide affordable housing for the school district’s employees. Project proponents say school district workers are being priced out of San Francisco in droves. But the affordable housing project will be general use, with no specific provisions for teachers or other SFUSD workers.

teachersinSF Though the teachers’ union supports the land swap, United Educators of San Francisco President Dennis Kelly warned that teachers are in dire need.

“It’s more than an oversight, it’s an insult, felt very deeply, and very bitterly,” Kelly said at the podium. “Affordable housing will not house a single teacher, not a single one, because of where the dollar breaks are.”

The board has made various promises over the past decade to aid with teacher housing, all empty words, Kelly told the Guardian. There’s yet to be a solution from the school district or the board on finding sustainable housing for teachers.

The problem is a microcosm of one of San Francisco’s toughest challenges during this tech-fueled affordable housing crisis. Affordable housing helps the poor, and the rich certainly don’t need help staying in the city, but help for middle-income earners is hard to come by.

 

NEW RECRUIT

Research from education nonprofit ASCD shows most first-year teachers face three challenges: difficulty learning to manage classroom behavior, an overload of curriculum creation, and lack of school support. San Francisco’s new teachers face a fourth: finding a place to sleep at night.

Second-year SFUSD science teacher Kate Magary, 29, knows this all too well. Her first year on the job went from challenging to hellish as she looked for an affordable place to live.

Despite having a modestly salaried full-time job, she couldn’t afford a studio on her own. She eventually found a room for rent on Craigslist, but her noisy roommates made grading papers and writing curriculum a constant challenge. She started a new apartment hunt, but even that was like a full-time job.

“As a first-year teacher, it was awful,” Magary said. “I tried not to let it affect me too much at school, but the stress from home eventually made it with me to the classroom.”

She over-disciplined some kids, she said, and her patience was at the breaking point for most of the year. When teachers suffer, students suffer.

Magary is a science teacher at the Academy of Arts and Sciences, which is on the Ruth Asawa School of the Arts campus at Twin Peaks. Three-story homes and apartment buildings dot the hills along the road from Market Street on her drive to school, but Magary can’t afford them.

Instead, she eventually found a place on Treasure Island. A sixth-generation San Franciscan, Magary is happy to stay in what is still technically part of the city. But her lease is tenuous, and she anticipates having to move within the next few years. She’s not alone.

Out of SFUSD’s 3,284 teachers, 927 live outside of San Francisco, according to data from their union. That’s 28 percent of teachers living outside of the city, 3 percent higher than just last year. That number masks the depth of the problem.

New teachers who aren’t established in San Francisco bear the brunt of displacement. Half of all new teachers leave SFUSD in their first five years, according to data from the district. And 35 percent of teachers hired since July 1 live outside the city.

“A teacher might start in the district, live in the city, and move out,” said UESF spokesperson Matt Hardy. “The turnover is very high, particularly in newer schools.”

Teachers we talked to said there are problems for those who manage to stay in San Francisco as well. They sometimes sleep in unstable or unsafe housing, couchsurf, or sleep in their cars. In the morning they teach the city’s children.

It’s bad for teachers, but worse still, it’s bad for students. Recognizing this, federal, state and city government have all pitched in to try and find housing solutions for teachers.

Unfortunately for them, and for us, they’ve mostly failed.

 

OWNERSHIP FOR NONE

Art Agnos is most well known for being San Francisco’s former mayor. But after stepping down in the ’90s, he served in the Clinton Administration as the Department of Housing and Urban Development regional director throughout California, Arizona, Nevada, and Hawaii.

He was in charge of finding folks places to live.

The crisis for teacher housing was stark. At the time, Agnos was in charge of implementing Clinton’s housing program for teachers in San Francisco. The experiment? Build affordable housing units at Dianne Feinstein Elementary School on 25th Avenue exclusively for teachers.

The idea died in a sea of NIMBYism.

“The resistance came from the neighborhood who thought affordable housing for the teachers would diminish the value for their property and make traffic issues,” Agnos told the Guardian. “The Board of Education yielded to that NIMBYism and refused to pursue the deal, which was on the table.”

The federal push for teacher housing died, having created a home for just one teacher in San Francisco by the year 2000, and only 100 in California, according to news reports at the time.

California would follow suit with a less ambitious teacher housing program. The Teacher Next Door program offers assistance for teachers buying homes in San Francisco through the Mayor’s Office of Housing. We called the office to get statistics on its use, but as of press time it had not called back.

Among teachers, the program is mostly a joke.

“That’s the case with most teachers,” science teacher Tom Dallman of Ruth Asawa School of the Arts told the Guardian. “They roll their eyes when it comes to talk about buying a place in San Francisco.”

Median home prices in San Francisco skyrocketed past $1 million in June, a signal that for many teachers, homeownership in the city is a near impossibility.

Subsidized Below Market Rate housing is out of their reach too. San Francisco teachers make anywhere between $40,000 and $80,000 a year, placing them just above the salary as a single person to qualify for affordable housing.

“The struggle is about middle income people who do not qualify for mortgages or newly develop projects, because the market is astronomically high,” Agnos said. And that’s leading to a teacher migration, numbers from the UESF show.

“If they have to live in Oakland, they’ll work in Oakland,” Agnos said. “Their talent will follow them.”

The dream of homeownership for San Francisco’s education workforce is a thing of the past, Susan Solomon, vice president of the UESF told us.

“Maybe long, long ago this was a possibility,” she said, “way back when.”

 

FEW SOLUTIONS

Fewer was ecstatic to see the land swap deal go through, and excited to see affordable housing for San Francisco families.

But when asked what she’ll do to tackle the struggle to find affordable housing for teachers, she said that the upcoming contract negotiations may be the time to revisit a new plan.

“We’ve asked the unions to give us a poll for a long time,” she said. She wants to know what the teachers want. Do they want to live in housing together? Have rental subsidies? Housing assistance? What are their needs?

Sup. Jane Kim, a former school board member, said there’s a split of preference in the union. Should affordable housing solutions be given to teachers in their first five years in SFUSD, to encourage them to stay in San Francisco, or to veteran teachers?

“There’s a limited amount of funding,” Kim told us. And when the district lucks itself into extra funding, it’s hard not to spend it in the classroom. “How do you invest the limited dollars that you have?” she asked.

Santa Clara’s school district built its own affordable housing, and spent $6 million in 2005 to construct 40 units for its workforce. Three years later, they built 30 more units. Teachers there initially paid $1,075 a month in rent for a two-bedroom apartment, according to The New York Times.

“You cannot be an education advocate without being a housing advocate,” Fewer said. But housing help has been largely elusive for SFUSD employees.

“Stubbornness is keeping me in the city,” Magary said. But without some help, that may not be enough.