Mission Archives — Page 52 of 201 — San Francisco Bay Guardian Archive 1966

Rep Clock

Andrew Lam

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December 18, 2012

Schedules are for Wed/19-Tue/25 except where noted. Director and year are given when available. Double and triple features marked with a •. All times pm unless otherwise specified.

ARTISTS’ TELEVISION ACCESS 992 Valencia, SF; www.atasite.org. $6. "Other Cinema:" "New Experimental Works," Sat, 8:30.

CASTRO 429 Castro, SF; (415) 621-6120, www.castrotheatre.com. $8.50-11. "Noir City Xmas:" •Holiday Affair (Hartman, 1949), Wed, 7:30, and The Lady in the Lake (Montgomery, 1947), Wed, 9:30. •The Apartment (Wilder, 1960), Thu, 2:15, 7, and Three Days of the Condor (Pollack, 1975), Thu, 4:40, 9:20. •They Live (Carpenter, 1988), Fri, 7:30, and Miracle Mile (De Jarnatt, 1988), Fri, 9:20. "Twas the Night Before Sketchfest: An SF Sketchfest Christmas:" Elf (Favreau, 2003), Sat, 12:30; •Emmett Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas (Henson, 1977), and The Bells of Fraggle Rock (Williams, 1984), Sat, 3; Scrooged (Donner, 1988), Sat, 5:30; Bad Santa (Zwigoff, 2003), Sat, 8:30. Screenings ($10-20) feature special guests; more info at www.sfsketchfest.com. "SantaConCert" with the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus, Mon, 5, 7, 9. Tickets ($25-30) at www.sfgmc.org.

CHRISTOPHER B. SMITH RAFAEL FILM CENTER 1118 Fourth St, San Rafael; (415) 454-1222, www.cafilm.org. $6.75-$10.25. Any Day Now (Fine, 2012), call for dates and times. A Late Quartet (Zilberman, 2012), call for dates and times. A Royal Affair (Arcel, 2012), call for dates and times. "World Ballet on the Big Screen:" The Nutcracker, performed by the Royal Ballet, London, Sun, 1. This event, $15.

PACIFIC FILM ARCHIVE 2575 Bancroft, Berk; (510) 642-5249, bampfa.berkeley.edu. $5.50-9.50. PFA closed through Jan 9.

ROXIE 3117 and 3125 16th St, SF; (415) 863-1087, www.roxie.com. $6.50-11. Black Christmas (Clark, 1974), Wed, 7:30. With star Margot Kidder in person. Holy Motors (Carax, 2012), Wed-Thu, 7, 9:15. In the Family (Wang, 2012), Thu, 7:30. •35 Cents and a Dream: The Tale of Cliff’s Variety (Gutierrez, 2011), and Making Christmas: The View from the Tom and Jerry Christmas Tree (Gutierrez, 2011), Fri, 6; first two films plus Sweet Onion Salad (Gutierrez, 2009), Fri, 7:15. 9:30. This event, $10-15. Citadel (Foy, 2012), Dec 21-27, 9:15 (also Sat-Sun, 3; no show Mon). New Jerusalem (Alverson, 2011), Dec 21-27, 7:15 (also Fri-Sat, 5; no show Mon).

VORTEX ROOM 1082 Howard, SF; Facebook: The Vortex Room. $10. "The Vortex Apocalypse, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Thursday Film Cult:" •Five (Oboler, 1951), Thu, 9, and Six Hundred and Sixty-Six (O’Connell, 1972), Thu, 11.

YERBA BUENA CENTER FOR THE ARTS 701 Mission, SF; www.ybca.org. $8-10. "Honk If You’re Horny: Retro Sex Musicals:" Let My Puppets Come (Damiano, 1976), Thu, 7:30.

Our Weekly Picks: December 19-25

Andrew Lam

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December 18, 2012

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WEDNESDAY 19

“Voluspa: A Ghost Celebration for 2012”

Established belief systems may have lost their credence, but somehow we still feel the desire for connection to some kind of cosmic order, which, particularly this time of the year, invites a desire for healing the planet and those who walk, crawl, and dance on it. There is no better place to partake in this kind of experience than Dance Brigade’s “Voluspa: A Ghost Dance for 2012,” particularly if you stay the second night to celebrate the onset of Winter Solstice and the survival of the Mayan calendar prophecy. In the world premiere of “Voluspa,” Krissy Keefer digs deep into mythologies from around the globe. The evenings will also include, among others, performances by Danca Xitlalli, NAKA Dance Theater, and the Grrrl Brigade, in a contemporary Native American Ghost Dance. (Rita Felciano)

Also Thu/20; 7:30pm, $12–$20

Dance Mission Theater

3316, 24th St., SF

(415) 826-4441

www.brownpapertickets.com

“Noir City Xmas”

Are you dreaming of a hard-boiled holiday? Join other like-minded dudes and dames at “Noir City Xmas,” a double-feature of 1947’s The Lady in the Lake (a Raymond Chandler adaptation famously shot entirely from the POV of detective Phillip Marlowe) and 1949’s Holiday Affair, an offbeat romance between noir greats Robert Mitchum and Janet Leigh. Best of all, Eddie Muller and Ms. Noir City will be on hand to reveal the programming for Noir City 11, coming up Jan. 25-Feb. 3. Good to get the early line on what’s playing, since Noir City — which screens everything on 35mm, and always busts out a handful of rareties and new restorations — tends to sell out like gangbusters. (Cheryl Eddy)

Holiday Affair, 7:30pm; The Lady in the Lake, 9:30pm, $10

Castro Theatre

429 Castro, SF

www.noircity.com

The Charlie Hunter and Scott Amendola Duo

Likely the only musician ever to collaborate with both William S. Burroughs and Frank Ocean, Berkeley-based guitarist Charlie Hunter has built a reputation over the past 20 years as an in-demand session player, as well as a vital bandleader on his own terms. Hunter’s incredible dynamic and stylistic range (shifting effortlessly between poised, tasteful jazz licks and incendiary blues/rock freakouts) is demonstrated in full force on his latest project: a collaborative effort with esteemed Bay Area drummer Scott Amendola, entitled Not Getting Behind is the New Getting Ahead. Comprised solely of guitar and drums, yet remarkably dense and elaborate, the LP exposes the depth of both musicians’ talent like nothing else in their respective catalogs. Expect an evening of dizzying virtuosity when the duo hits the Independent tonight. (Taylor Kaplan)

With DJ Harry Duncan

8pm, $20

Independent

628 Divisadero, SF

(415) 771-1421

www.theindependentsf.com

THURSDAY 20

GIBBSMO’s Annual Holiday Craptacular

Finding decent entertainment during the holiday season isn’t easy. Your mates aren’t the only people who have left to visit their families — a lot of your favorite performers have bailed as well, leaving behind an empty shell of a city to drink itself alone to sleep until the New Year. Just kidding! San Francisco is chock full of performers who actually live here, and there are bound to be a few bands who wanna rock the last days of 2012 out the door. One local showcase worth looking forward to is GIBBSMO’s Annual Holiday Craptacular, a benefit for the SF Food Bank, and a boon to all the music-loving, family-eschewing misanthropes who still need some way to get infused with the holiday spirit (or spirits). This year’s don’t miss lineup includes the Parker Brothers, Kelley Stoltz, Mark Eitzel, and X’s John Doe. Also, the Makeout Room sells whiskey, so you’re set. (Nicole Gluckstern)

8pm, $20 with a non-perishable food item

Makeout Room

3225 22nd St., SF

(415) 647-2888

www.makeoutroom.com

“Any Last Words?”

It’s a proven fact of science, mythology, astrology, and New Age reckoning that the world is ending Friday, Dec. 21, so you might as well spend your last night on Earth busting a gut. Stand-up comedian Trevor Hill asked 40 (!) fellow jokesters to converge on Sub-Mission Gallery, armed with “the last joke of their lives.” Participants include Casey Ley, Caitlin Gill, Kevin Camia, Mike Drucker, Ben Feldman, Shanti Charan, Kaseem Bentley, and many more. Why not laugh your way into doomsday? Beats cowering in a closet clutching a shotgun and your last package of Twinkies. (Eddy)

9pm, $10

Sub-Mission Gallery

2183 Mission, SF

anylastwords2012.tumblr.com

FRIDAY 21

“A Very Bowie Glamapocalypse”

The end of the world is approaching and you haven’t ensured your eternal salvation yet? No worries, you’re still welcome to get on your knees with the First Church of the Sacred Silversexual and put your soul in the hands of the Starman for a sparkling sermon on the eve of the Glamapocalypse. It’s a musical spectacle dedicated to the mystery, magic, and music of David Bowie. Bringing you tunes from his early career will be a cast impersonating Major Tom, the Thin White Duke, the kids from Velvet Goldmine, and any other persona you can dream up. So get out the glitter, forget the Hail Marys, and learn your new chant: they say, “Wham! Bam!” and you reply, “thank you M’am!” (Molly Champlin)

With Coo Coo Birds, Straight-Ups

9pm, $15

Cafe Du Nord

2170 Market, SF

(415) 861-5016

www.cafedunord.com

NGUZUNGUZU

120 Minutes has established itself as one of SF’s most reliably compelling and exploratory club nights, shining a light on the dark, gothic recesses of electronic music that have exploded over the past few years. This Friday, the 120 crew will reign in the apocalypse with their End of the World Party, headlined by LA’s NGUZUNGUZU: a Hippos In Tanks-signed laptop duo, bent on fusing the worlds of R&B, hypnagogic pop, and minimal house into a futuristic stew of beat music, as psychedelic as it is bleak and unsettling. SF’s own oOoOO will open, showcasing his equally ominous take on witch house: the subgenre most often associated with dance music’s plunge into the darkness. If the Mayans were right, this ought to be one helluva last night on earth. (Kaplan)

With Boychild, DJ S4NtA MU3rTE, DJ Chauncey CC

10pm, $10

Elbo Room

647 Valencia, SF

(415) 552-7788

www.elbo.com

SATURDAY 22

The Snowman

This silent film about a boy whose snowman comes to life and takes him on a fantastic flying journey has been a wintertime favorite in my family since as long as I can remember. The Snowman, based on the children’s book by Raymond Briggs, is full of moments as detailed and expressive as aMiyazaki’s movie. I’ve kept with me many images from it, like the headlight of the snowman’s motorcycle lighting up a dark forest, or the freezerbox with green peas the boy uses to keep the snowman cold. Traditional animation done with crayon and pastel lends the sweeping landscapes a jittering, lifelike quality. With the Pacific Boychoir and San Francisco Symphony performing Howard Blake’s heartening, and beautiful score, this should be a truly magical experience. (Champlin)

11am, $27–$57

Davies Symphony Hall

201 Van Ness, SF

(415) 864-6000

www.sfsymphony.org

“20th Anniversary of Kung Pao Kosher Comedy”

Judy Gold gets around — she’s guest-hosted The View; appeared on multiple sitcoms, dramas, and late-night talk shows; had comedy specials on LOGO, HBO, and Comedy Central; and has one of the funnier Twitter accounts out there (handle: @JewdyGold; sample tweet: “I need to go work out, but my hair looks really good. What should I do?”) This Christmas, she’ll be headlining the 20th annual Kung Pao Kosher Comedy, a milestone event that’s a testament to the talents of Kung Pao founder Lisa Geduldig — promoter, programmer, and host extraordinare. Also on the bill: Scott Blakeman and Mike Capozzola, not to mention the pleasure of spending the holidays in a Chinese restaurant with like-minded celebrants. Partial proceeds benefit the Brown Twins/Jewish Family and Children’s Services Emergency Assistance Fund, and the Bay Area Women’s and Children’s Center drop-in services and food pantry. (Eddy)

Tonight and Mon/24, 6pm (dinner show) and 9:30pm (cocktail show); Sun/23 and Tue/25, 5pm (early bird dinner show) and 9:30pm (cocktail show), $44-64

New Asia Restaurant

772 Pacific, SF

www.koshercomedy.com

“‘Twas the Night Before Sketchfest”

Can you think of better way to get into the holiday spirit than by spending an entire day laughing out loud, and celebrating some of your favorite Christmas movies? “‘Twas The Night Before Sketchfest” will present just such an opportunity! Kicking off with a 10th anniversary screening of Elf, the afternoon continues with legendary Muppet puppeteer Dave Goelz appearing in person to speak about Emmett Otter’s Jugband Christmas, a 1977 gem that features a cast of furry and felt-covered magical creations of the Jim Henson Company. Comedian Bobcat Goldthwait will then host a screening of Scrooged, the 1988 comedy that re-told the classic “Christmas Carol” story with Bill Murray as a raving TV exec who regains the Christmas spirit; and finally, for the naughty ones, director Terry Zwigoff will be on hand for Bad Santa. Ho ho ho indeed! (Sean McCourt)

12:30pm, $10–$20; $40 for an all-day pass

Castro Theatre

429 Castro, SF

www.sfsketchfest.com

“Night Wakes Dawn”

As the year ends, join the women of Brava and children of Loco Bloco for a musical theater performance inspired by Mayan myths surrounding the events of December 21st, 2012. The original show traces the life of a brother and sister living in the Mission and plays out how their stories intersect with spirit and tradition. The performance features three parts spanning three different styles of music and dance: bachata/reggaeton, R&B experimental, and samba-house. Come for an exciting show that will bring the energy and vibrancy of Loco Bloco’s Carnival performance to the stage for a more structured and symbolic performance, and a chance for spiritual reflection as we awake into a new era. (Champlin)

7pm; also Sun/23, 2pm, $10–$20

Brava Theater Center

2781 24th St., SF

(415) 641-7657

www.brava.org

Nostalgia Fest

So hey, how did “Giving Tuesday” go for you? Yeah, me neither. And you know why? It’s because in this carrot-stick society we’ve come to expect a better incentive than just “everyone else is doing it.” That’s the beauty of benefit shows. Firstly, they benefit people we feel good about benefiting, and secondly because we get to go to a show. And Nostalgia Fest looks like it’s going to be a good one. Eight old-skool, Sonoma County bands including Coffee and Donuts, Punch the Clown, and Victim’s Family, reuniting for a good cause and a good time, rallying hope with hardcore, and goodwill with great jams. This year’s beneficiaries are the venerable Phoenix Theater, and the vulnerable Maverick Tucker-Evjenth, whose father, local skate legend Tony Evjenth, passed away in 2011. (Gluckstern)

5pm, $10–$25

Phoenix Theater

501 Washington, Petaluma

www.thephoenixtheatre.com

SUNDAY 23

“An Evening with the Mermen: A Very Mermen Christmas”

A few months ago, on a podcast, comedian-author Julie Klausner offhandedly said something like, “God spare me from a twist on things.” Meaning, why can’t we just celebrate the holidays in a classic way? Why must there be something funky added in? That’s why this Mermen event, based on the recent album, is so appealing. While yes, the Mermen are a legendary late ’80s-born surf/don’t-call-me-surf band (they prefer “psychedelic instrumental ocean music”), their 2012 holiday album — Do You Hear What I Hear — A Very MERMEN Christmas — is actually pretty traditional. They play the songs we know, “The Little Drum Boy,” “Do You Hear What I Hear,” “Silent Night,” and the like, and they play them well, granted with plenty of reverb-laden surf guitar. It’s not the grating cheerfulness of pop renditions, or the sentimental hooey of yore. No real funky twist here, just instrumental yuletide bliss by a trio of SF music scene vets. (Emily Savage)

8pm, $15

Slim’s

333 11th St., SF

(415) 255-0333

www.slimspresents.com

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Stage Listings

Andrew Lam

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December 18, 2012

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Stage listings are compiled by Guardian staff. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

THEATER

OPENING

The Santaland Diaries Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson, SF; www.combinedartform.com. $20-50. Opens Wed/19, 8pm. Runs Thu/20-Sun/23 and Dec 26-29, 8pm (also Sat/22-Sun/23, 3pm); Mon/24, 3pm. Through Dec 29. David Sinaiko performs David Sedaris’ holiday comedy, presented by Combined Artform.

ONGOING

Brian Copeland’s The Jewelry Box … A Genuine Christmas Story Marsh San Francisco, 1062 Valencia, SF; www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Fri, 8pm; Sat, 5pm. Through Dec 29. Copeland remembers his Oakland childhood in this family-friendly holiday show.

A Christmas Carol Geary Theater, 415 Geary, SF; www.act-sf.org. $20-95. Wed/19-Sat/22, 7pm (also Fri/21-Sat/22, 2pm); Sun/23, 1 and 5:30pm; Mon/24, 1pm. American Conservatory Theater’s annual holiday performance features James Carpenter as Scrooge.

Crones for the Holidays Stage Werx, 446 Valencia, SF; www.crackpotcrones.com. $20. Sat, 3 and 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Dec 30. A Coupla Crackpot Crones (a.k.a. playwrights and actors Terry Baum and Carolyn Myers, collaborators as far back as the Lilith Women’s Theater Collective in the 1970s) roll out a series of vignettes, stories, spontaneous poetry, at least one sing-a-long (the priceless "12 Days of Family Insults"), and other sundry subversions in this amusing, endearingly earthy, and politically conscious show directed by Joan Mankin. Proceedings unfold on a hodgepodge set (smartly designed by Vola Ruben) full of seasonal staples and Dutch angles: a giant Menorah on one end of the stage balanced by a large Mayan calendar on the other, and so on. In one of the program’s more elaborate tales, invention and the political moment come together with earnestness and humor as a shuttered portrait of the Virgin Mary (Baum) counsels a desperate Muscovite teenager (Myers) in 1962 about unanticipated pregnancies, only to meet her again in 2012 as Pussy Riot are about to storm the rebuilt Cathedral of Christ the Savior. These women may be aging but they’re still raging. (Avila)

Foodies! The Musical Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter, SF; www.foodiesthemusical.com. $30-34. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Open-ended. AWAT Productions presents Morris Bobrow’s musical comedy revue all about food.

Forking II: A Merry Forking! Christmas TJT, 460 Florida, SF; www.pianofight.com. $30. Thu-Sun, 8pm. Through Dec 30. PianoFight presents the return of playwright Daniel Heath’s 2011 holiday-themed Forking play, his brand for a play that allows audiences to vote by applause on the direction of the plot at certain junctures, or forks, in the narrative. In this forked-up Christmas tale, set in a busy mall on Christmas Eve, a dispirited underemployed Santa and his pot-dealing bakery-store roommate help to galvanize a group of characters who become entangled in a web of shopping, romance, and space cookies. There are weaker moments and some throwaway ideas, but not many: this is a solid comedic outing, whose 10-member cast (including a memorable cameo by PianoFight cofounder Rob Ready) is capable, versatile, and fun as they serve Heath’s witty, well-proportioned script. (Avila)

The Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th St, SF; www.trannyshack.com. $30. Thu-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Dec 30. The Victoria is once again a time capsule taking appreciate audiences back to the 1980s, to watch television through the magic of drag performance. Local luminaries Pollo Del Mar, Cookie Dough, Heklina, and Matthew Martin reprise their seasonal roles as TV’s Golden Girls, in back-to-back Christmas episodes that come complete with a soundscape of impossibly cheerful period commercials literally singing the praises of "processed cheese spread" and the like. In the first episode, "Scared Straight," Blanche (played by Martin, a swaggering hip-notizer of the first order) discovers her little brother (a lively Manuel Caneri) is gay, with much drama ensuing, at least until the last commercial break. Meanwhile, Dorothy’s (Heklina) mother, Sophia (Cookie Dough), prepares for imminent death as foretold by a dream featuring her late husband. In episode two, "Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas," the girls’ plans to spend the holiday with their families gets derailed when a lonely gunman (Laurie Bushman) enters the crisis center where Rose (Del Mar) works, holding everyone hostage. But Christmas together kind of works too, even if it’s not exactly Family

Ties. (Avila)

Hedwig and the Angry Inch Boxcar Playhouse, 505 Natoma, SF; www.boxcartheatre.org. $25-35. Wed-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 5pm). Through Jan 26. Boxcar’s popular production of John Cameron Mitchell’s glam-rock musical returns, starring a rotating cast of Hedwigs.

History: The Musical Un-Scripted Theater, 533 Sutter, SF; www.un-scripted.com. $10-20. Thu/20-Sat/22, 8pm. The Un-Scripted Theater Company performs "an unscripted romp through Western history."

Hysterical, Historical San Francisco: Holiday Edition Alcove Theater, 414 Mason, Ste 502, SF; www.thealcovetheater.com. $25-40. Fri-Sat and Dec 26-31, 9pm. Through Dec 31. Comedian Kurt Weitzmann takes on San Francisco history, adding some holiday flair along the way.

The Marvelous Wonderettes New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness, SF; www.nctcsf.org. $27-46. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm (no show Sun/23). Through Jan 13. New Conservatory Theatre Center performs Roger Bean’s 1950s pop-hit musical.

"A Minor Cycle: Five Little Plays in One Starry Night" NOHspace, Project Artaud, 2840 Mariposa, SF; www.theatreofyugen.org. $10-30. Wed-Thu, 7pm; Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 1pm. Through Dec 30. Theatre of Yugen presents the world premiere of five one-act plays based on tales of childhood, interpreted though traditional Japanese artistry.

The New California Traveling Jewish Theater, 470 Florida, SF; www.pianofight.com. $20-25. Wed/19, 8pm. PianoFight’s all-female ForePlays troupe offers this bleak take on the future of the state, after the Big One shears California off from the mainland and everyone begins "drifting away from the rest of the United States." You wouldn’t know it by the dispiritingly pedestrian humor on display in this series of mostly feeble sketches (written by Kate Jones, Jessica Mele, Rachel Rockwood, Emma Shelton, Meredith Terry, and Sarah Wright), which tend to cling to the worst tendencies in the culture with a complacency masquerading as satire. Also on the bill is stand-up comedian Clare O’Kane, who’s something of a relief; and comic musician Lady Blanche, with interludes of a forgettable nature.

The Rainmaker Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter, SF; www.sheltontheater.org. $38. Fri/21-Sat/22, 8pm. Shelton Theatre performs N. Richard Nash’s classic drama.

"The San Francisco Olympians Festival" Exit Theater, 156 Eddy, SF; www.sfolympians.com. $10. Wed/19-Thu/20, 8pm. This 12-night festival features brand-new plays by Bay Area writers, each based on one of the 12 Olympian gods of ancient Greece.

Scrooge: The Haunting of Ebenezer Boxcar Theatre Studios, 125A Hyde, SF; www.boxcartheatre.org. $16. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Mon/24 and Dec 30, 5pm. Through Dec 30. Jeff Garrett stars in a solo take on the Dickens classic, presented by Boxcar Theatre.

Speed-the-Plow Actors Theatre of San Francisco, 855 Bush, SF; www.actorstheatresf.org. $26-38. Wed/19-Fri/21, 8pm. Actors Theatre of San Francisco performs the David Mamet drama.

BAY AREA

Acid Test: The Many Incarnations of Ram Dass Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; www.themarsh.org. $15-50. Thu-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 5pm. Extended through Jan 5. Lynne Kaufman’s new play stars Warren David Keith as the noted spiritual figure.

Big Bubbly Holiday Spectacle with Louis Pearl, the Amazing Bubble Man Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; www.themarsh.org. $8-50. Sun and Dec 26-29, 11am. Through Jan 6. Holiday-themed, kid-friendly show with bubble whisperer Louis Pearl.

Big River TheatreWorks, 1305 Middlefield, Palo Alto; www.theatreworks.org. $23-73. Tue-Wed, 7:30pm; Thu-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm); Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Dec 30. TheatreWorks performs the Tony-winning musical based on Mark Twain’s Huck Finn stories.

The White Snake Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Roda Theatre, 2025 Addison, Berk; www.berkeleyrep.org. $29-99. Thu/20-Sat/22, 8pm (also Sat/22, 2pm); Sun/23, 2 and 7pm. In Mary Zimmerman’s The White Snake, nothing is quite as it seems. A mysterious stranger and her faithful servant are, in reality, a pair of shape-shifting serpents, the humble village pharmacy they build (with stolen money) is a front for their magical healing powers, a venerated Buddhist Abbott is actually a small-minded tyrant with a remarkably unholy obsession. Based on a Chinese myth dating to the 10th century, elements of "The White Snake" can be found in other mythologies around the world — from the biblical tempter in the Garden of Eden, to the healer snakes of Asclepius. However, in accordance with the tale’s historical evolution, from horror story to romance, Zimmerman’s treatment focuses mainly on the unusual love affair between Madame White (Amy Kim Waschke) and her karma-selected husband Xu Xian (Christopher Livingston). Weaving together fanciful design (a rainfall of ribbons, parasol puppetry, elegant period costuming and evocative video), elements of Chinese drama (amusingly described by narrators as they take place on stage), and a stirring reflection on the transformative power of love, complete with themes of self-sacrifice and endless fidelity, The White Snake, is a delicately-rendered fairytale which may not offer a way to enlightenment, but certainly clears a path to the heart. (Gluckstern)

Wavy Gravy and His Guided Mistletoes Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; www.themarsh.org. $15-50. Thu/20-Sat/22, 8pm; Sun/23, 3pm. The activist legend shares stories and holiday cheer.

Woyzeck Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby, Berk; www.shotgunplayers.org. $23-35. Wed-Thu, 7pm; Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 27. Shotgun Players presents Tom Waits, Kathleen Brennan, and Robert Wilson’s tragic musical, based on an unfinished 1837 play by Georg Büchner.

PERFORMANCE/DANCE

"Any Last Words?" Sub-Mission Gallery, 2183 Mission, SF; anylastwords2012.tumblr.com. Thu/20, 9pm. $10. Apocalyptic comedy with host Trevor Hill and 40 comics telling their last jokes before the world ends, including Casey Ley, Caitlin Gill, Kevin Camia, and Mike Drucker.

BATS Improv Bayfront Theater, B350 Fort Mason Center, SF; www.improv.org. $20. "Theatresports," Fri/21, 8pm.

"Comedy Bottle" Purple Onion at Kells, 530 Jackson, SF; www.thepurpleonionatkells.com. Fri/21-Sat/22, 8:30pm. $15. Stand-up with Jason Downs and Red Scott.

"Cynic Cave" Cinecave (beneath Lost Weekend Video), 1034 Valencia, SF; facebook.com/cyniccave. Sat/22, 8pm. $10. Stand-up with Matt Gubser, Josef Anolin, Lydia Popovich, and more.

"Fishnet Follies: A Midwinter Night’s Dream" Rrazz Room, Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason, SF; www.therrazzroom.com. Fri/21, 10:30pm. $25-45. Burlesque and variety performances.

"Holidays Throughout the Year: An Evening of Classic Burlesque" Exit Theatre Mainstage, 156 Eddy, SF; www.theexit.org. Fri/21, 9pm. $15. Tasty Temptress, IfNWhendy, Elyse Elaine, and other performers shimmy through a holiday-themed extravaganza.

"The Jewish Nutcracker, A Maccabee Celebration" ODC Theater, 3153 17th St, SF; www.odcdance.org. Thu/20-Fri/21, 3 and 7:30pm; Sat/22, 2 and 6pm; Sun/23, 3pm. $20-25. World Dance Fusion presents multi-genre choreography by Katy Alaniz Rous in this Jewish spin on the holiday ballet.

"Miracle at the Gas ‘N’ Gulp: A Fuelside Yuletide with Cora Values" StageWerx, 446 Valencia, SF; foulplaysf.com/cora. Wed/19, 8pm. $20. Songs and comedy with Cora Values.

"Mittens and Mistletoe" Dance Mission Theater, 3316 24th St, SF; www.brownpapertickets.com. Fri/21, 8pm; Sat/22-Mon/24, 4pm (also Sun/23-Mon/24, 2pm). $15-20. Sweet Can Productions presents a light-hearted variety show, featuring clowning, acrobatics, and juggling.

"Night Wakes Dawn/La Noche Despierta El Amanecer" Brava Theater Center, 2781 24th St, SF; www.locobloco.org. Sat/22, 7pm; Sun/23, 2pm. $10-20. Loco Bloco performs a musical, theatrical exploration of the Mayan prophecies surrounding 2012, and a questioning of the New Age beliefs about their meaning.

"San Francisco Magic Parlor" Chancellor Hotel Union Square, 433 Powell, SF; www.sfmagicparlor.com. Thu-Sat, 8pm. Ongoing. $40. Magic vignettes with conjurer and storyteller Walt Anthony.

"Tough Jobby, Boot: Tis Yule" Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson, SF; www.willfranken.com. Sat/22, 9:30pm. $20. Will Franken performs his new holiday show, his last gig before his long-term return to England.

"The 20th Anniversary of Kung Pao Kosher Comedy" New Asia Restaurant, 772 Pacific, SF; www.koshercomedy.com. Sat/22 and Mon/24, 6pm (dinner show) and 9:30pm (cocktail show); Sun/23 and Tue/25, 5pm (early bird dinner show) and 8:30pm (cocktail show). $44-64. The annual "Jewish comedy on Christmas in a Chinese restaurant" event marks 20 years with Judy Gold, Scott Blakeman, Mike Capozzola, and Lisa Geduldig. Partial proceeds benefit the Brown Twins/Jewish Family and Children’s Services Emergency Assistance Fund, and the Bay Area Women’s and Children’s Center drop-in services and food pantry.

"Voluspa: A Ghost Dance for 2012" Dance Mission Theater, 3316 24th St, SF; www.dancemission.com. Wed/19-Thu/20, 7:30pm. $12-20. Ritual dance performance with Dance Brigade, Grrrl Brigade, NAKA Dance Theater, and others.

BAY AREA

"A Down Home Christmas With Nell and Jim" Aurora Theatre Company, 2081 Addison, Berk; www.auroratheatre.org. Wed/19-Fri/21, 7:30pm. $28. Cabaret-style bluegrass concert featuring holiday tunes.

"The Nutcracker" Paramount Theatre, 2025 Broadway, Oakl; www.paramounttheatre.com. Sat/22-Sun/23, 2pm; Mon/24, 11am. $20-59. Oakland Ballet performs Graham Lustig’s version of the classic.

Music Listings

Andrew Lam

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December 18, 2012

0

Since club life is unpredictable, it’s a good idea to call ahead or check the venue’s website to confirm bookings and hours. Prices are listed when provided to us. Visit www.sfbg.com/venue-guide for venue information. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

WEDNESDAY 19

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Greg Adams East Bay Soul: Sweet Soul Christmas Yoshi’s SF. 8pm, $25.

Another Funky Reggae Party Milk Bar. 9pm, $5. With Creation, Ceasar Myles, Dreaded Truth.

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club Slim’s. 7pm, $31.

Burnt Ones, Violent Change, Cumstain, Cheap Bliss Brick and Mortar Music Hall. 9pm, $7.

Chronic Town Make-Out Room. 7:30pm, $5.

Fuzz (with Ty Segall) Hemlock Tavern. 8:30pm, $7.

Gunshy Johnny Foley’s. 9pm, free.

Charlie Hunter and Scott Amendola Duo Independent. 8pm, $20.

Keith Crossan Blues Showcase with Mark Karan Biscuits and Blues. 8pm, $15.

Psychic Ills, Wymond Miles, 3 Leafs Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $12.

Jill Tracey DNA Lounge. 9pm, $10.

Rags Tuttle vs Papi Johnny Foley’s Dueling Pianos. 9pm, free.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Cat’s Corner with Nathan Dias Savanna Jazz. 9pm, $10.

Dink Dink Dink, Gaucho, Eric Garland’s Jazz Session Amnesia. 7pm, free.

Gennaro’s Wax Trio 144 King Art Cafe, SF; www.144kingcafe.com. 6-9pm, $10.

Ricardo Scales Top of the Mark, 999 California, SF; www.topofthemark.com. 6:30pm, $5.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Justin Ancheta Pena Pachamama, 1630 Powell, SF; www.pachammacenter.org. 8pm.

"Timba Dance Party" Bissap Baobab, 3372 19th, SF; www.bissapbaobab.com. 10pm, $5. With DJ Walt Diggz.

DANCE CLUBS

Aisle 45 Elbo Room. 9pm, $5. With DJs Sureshot, Romanowski, Mauby, DJ Mauricio Aviles.

Booty Call Q-Bar, 456 Castro, SF; www.bootycallwednesdays.com. 9pm. Juanita MORE! and Joshua J host this dance party.

Coo-Yah! Slate Bar, 2925 16th St, SF; www.slate-sf.com. 10pm, free. With Vinyl Ambassador, DJ Silverback, DJs Green B and Daneekah.

Hardcore Humpday Happy Hour RKRL, 52 Sixth St, SF; (415) 658-5506. 6pm, $3.

Martini Lounge John Colins, 138 Minna, SF; www.johncolins.com. 7pm. With DJ Mark Divita.

THURSDAY 20

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP.

"A Very Castle Face Christmas: Benefit for the Coalition on Homelessness" Chapel, 777 Valencia, SF; www.thechapelsf.com. 8:30pm, $15. With Thee Oh Sees, Mallard, Blasted Canyons, Warm Soda.

Blank Tapes, Electric Shepherd, Black Oscillators, Down Dirty Shake, DJ Neil Martinson Brick and Mortar Music Hall. 9pm, $7-$10.

Capital Cities, Jerffrey Jerusalem, popscene DJs Rickshaw Stop. 9:30pm, $15-$17.

Chrystian Rawk, Rin Tin Tiger Amnesia. 9pm.

Dredg, Judgement Day, Strange Vine Great American Music Hall. 8pm, $20.

Girls in Suede, Of Shape and Sound, Coast Humper, Wes Leslie Leafs Bottom of the Hill. 8:30pm, $10.

John Lawton Trio Johnny Foley’s. 9pm, free.

King City, Aloha Screwdriver, Business End Thee Parkside. 9pm, $5.

Lenny Lashley’s Gang of One, Tater Famine Knockout. 10pm, $8.

Laurie Morvan Band Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $15.

"Nat Keefe Concert Carnival" Independent. 8pm, $20-$35. With Allie Krall, Reed Mathis, Sharon Gilchrist, and more.

Papi vs Nathan Temby Johnny Foley’s Dueling Pianos. 9pm, free.

Powder, Rain Parade, Bang Cafe Du Nord. 8pm, $7.

Space Waves, Venus Beltran, In Letter Form Hemlock Tavern. 8:30pm, $6.

This Can’t End Well, Victoria and the Vaudevillians, Vagabondage DNA Lounge. 9pm, $8.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

David Lanz: Solo Holiday Show Yoshi’s SF. 8pm, $25.

Stompy Jones Top of the Mark, 999 California, SF; www.topofthemark.com. 7:30pm, $10.

Eddy Ramirez Savanna Jazz. 7:30pm, $5.

SF Jazz Hotplate Series Amnesia. 9pm.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Twang! Honky Tonk Fiddler’s Green, 1330 Columbus, SF; www.twanghonkytonk.com. 5pm. Live country music.

Tipsy House Plough and Stars. 9pm.

DANCE CLUBS

Afrolicious Elbo Room. 9:30pm, $5-$7. With DJ-host Pleasuremaker.

All 80s Thursday Cat Club. 9pm, $6 (free before 9:30pm). The best of ’80s mainstream and underground.

Base: Holiday Special Vessel, 85 Campton Place, SF; www.vesselsf.com. 10pm, $10.

Ital, Loric, Hawa Public Works Loft. 10pm, $12. Presented by Future|Perfect.

Ritual Dubstep Temple. 10pm-3am, $5. Trap and bass.

Tropicana Madrone Art Bar. 9pm, free. Salsa, cumbia, reggaeton, and more with DJs Don Bustamante, Apocolypto, Sr. Saen, Santero, and Mr. E.

FRIDAY 21

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

"A Very Bowie Glampocalypse" Cafe Du Nord. 9:30pm, $12-$15. With First Church of the Sacred Silversexual, Straight-Ups, Coo Coo Birds, and more.

"Beatrock Music Anniversary" Brick and Mortar Music Hall. 9pm, $9-$12. With Bambu, Prometheus Brown, Rocky Rivera, Otayo Dubb, Power Struggle, Bwan, DJ Roza, DJ Tanner.

Fishbone Inner Mission SF, 2050 Bryant, SF; www.fishbone.net. 8pm, $20-$25.

Karen Lovely Biscuits and Blues. 8pm, $20.

Maysa Yoshi’s SF. 8pm, $35; 10pm, $27.

Mother Hips, Jackpot Great American Music Hall. 9pm, $23.

Murder City Devils, Mallard Slim’s. 9pm, $22.

Music Box: Tribute to Genesis Regency Ballroom. 9pm, $45-$55.

Sambada Independent. 9pm, $15.

Scissors For Lefty, Solwave, Trims, DJ Taylor Fife Bottom of the Hill. 9:30pm, $10.

Sole Johnny Foley’s. 9pm, free.

Nathan Temby, Papi, Jason Marion Johnny Foley’s Dueling Pianos. 9pm, free.

"The End" DNA Lounge. 10pm, $25. With Zion I, Mochipet, Stephan Jacobs, CandyLand, Robotic Pirate Monkey, Sound Remedy, and more.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Audium 1616 Bush, SF; www.audium.org. 8:30pm, $20. Theater of sound-sculptured space.

Benn Bacot Savanna Jazz. 7:30pm, $8.

Black Market Jazz Orchestra Top of the Mark, 999 California, SF; www.topofthemark.com. 9pm, $10.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Queer Cumbia Bissap Baobab, 3372 19th, SF; www.bissapbaobab.com. 8pm, $3-$7.

DANCE CLUBS

DJ What’s His Fuck Riptide Tavern. 9pm, free.

Hella Tight Amnesia. 10pm, $5.

Joe Lookout, 3600 16th St,SF; www.lookoutsf.com. 9pm. Eight rotating DJs.

Ken Loi, Elephant Guns Vessel, 85 Campton Place, SF; www.vesselsf.com. 10pm, $20-$30.

Old School JAMZ El Rio. 9pm. Fruit Stand DJs spinning old school funk, hip-hop, and R&B.

120 Minutes: End of the World Party Elbo Room. 10pm, $8. With NGUZUNGUZU, oOoOO, Boychild, resident DJs S4NtA MU3rTE, Chauncey CC.

Paris to Dakar Little Baobab, 3388 19th St, SF; (415) 643-3558. 10pm, $5. Afro and world music with rotating DJs.

SATURDAY 22

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Bayonics Brick and Mortar Music Hall. 9pm, $7-$10.

Cafe R&B Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $20.

"California Holiday Show" Elbo Room. 9pm, $10. With Z-Man, Eddie K, Grand Invincible, Oh Blimey, Marshall Payne, Deuce Eclipes and Caipo of Bang Data, and more.

Churches, Tijuana Panthers, Toshio Hirano Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $12.

Cut Loose Band Johnny Foley’s. 9pm, free.

Bootsy Collins and the Funky Unity Band, Motion Potion Independent. 9pm, $49.50.

Dark Hollow Riptide Tavern. 9:30pm, free.

High on Fire, Goatwhore, Lo-Pan Slim’s. 9pm, $21.

Lost Dog Found Inner Mission, 2050 Bryant, SF; www.lostdogfound.com. 9pm, $15.

Maysa Yoshi’s SF. 8pm and 10pm, $35.

Mother Hips Great American Music Hall. 9pm, $23.

Music Box: Tribute to Genesis Regency Ballroom. 9pm, $45-$55.

Papi, Jason Marion, Nathan Temby Johnny Foley’s Dueling Pianos. 9pm, free.

Rule in Exile, James Conner Thee Parkside. 3pm, free.

Vagabond Lover’s Club with Slim Jenkins, 29th Street Swingtet Cafe, burlesque with Szandora LaVey, Roxy Reve, Bunny Pistol Cafe Du Nord. 9pm, $12-$15.

Yassou Benedict Hemlock Tavern. 9:30pm, $6.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Audium 1616 Bush, SF; www.audium.org. 8:30pm, $20. Theater of sound-sculptured space.

Savanna Jazz Group Savanna Jazz. 7:30pm, $8.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Savanna Blue, Get Off My Lawn Plough and Stars. 9pm.

"Noel Soley" Bissap Baobab, 3372 19th, SF; www.bissapbaobab.com. 7-9pm, free. Afoutayi Dance Music and Company, live Haitian drum and dance performances.

Craig Ventresco and Meredith Axelrod Atlas Cafe, 3049 20 St, SF; www.atlascafe.net. 4-6pm.

DANCE CLUBS

Bootie SF: Post-Apocalypse Party DNA Lounge. 9pm, $10-$15. With A Plus D, midnight mashup show, Keith Kraft, and more.

Paris to Dakar Little Baobab, 3388 19th St, SF; (415) 643-3558. 10pm, $5. Afro and world music with rotating DJs.

Public Works Holiday Bash Public Works. 9pm, $12. With Juan Maclean (DJ set), No Regular Play, and more.

Scooter and Lavelle, Chris Clouse Vessel, 85 Campton Place, SF; www.vesselsf.com. 10pm, $20-$30.

Temptation vs Fringe Cat Club. 9:30pm, $5-$8. Video dance party, bad sweater edition.

SUNDAY 23

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

"Battle of the Bands" DNA Lounge. 5:30pm, $12. With Miles of Machines, Refuge, Oceans and Odysseys, and more.

Tia Carroll Biscuits and Blues. 7 and 9pm, $15.

John Lawton Trio Johnny Foley’s. 9pm, free.

Dave Koz and Friends, David Benoit, Sheila E., Javier Colon, Margo Rey Warfield. 8pm, $39.50-$125.50.

Mermen Christmas Show Slim’s. 8pm, $15.

Moonfox, Prize, Mammoth Life, Liz O Show, DK Christian Joun Brick and Mortar Music Hall. 8pm, $5-$8.

Naive Melodies Boom Boom Room. 8pm, $5.

Papi vs Greg Zema Johnny Foley’s Dueling Pianos. 9pm, free.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Campilongo Quartet Yoshi’s SF. 7pm, $20.

Jazz Jam with Savanna Jazz Band Savanna Jazz. 7pm, $5.

Sophisticated Ladies, Bluebelles Red Poppy Art House. 7pm, $5.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Heel Draggers Amnesia. 8pm, $5-$10.

Twang Sunday Thee Parkside. 4pm, free. With Hoboagogo.

DANCE CLUBS

Dub Mission Elbo Room. 9pm, $6. With DJs Sep, Maneesh the Twister, guest DJ Deevice.

Jock Lookout, 3600 16th St, SF; www.lookoutsf.com. 3pm, $2.

MONDAY 24

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Clairdee’s Christmas: Soulful Sounds of the SeasonYoshi’s SF. 8pm, $20.

Damir Johnny Foley’s. 9pm, free.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Oakland Interfaith Gospel Ensemble Slim’s. 7 and 9:30pm, $15.

DANCE CLUBS

Crazy Mondays Beauty Bar, 2299 Mission, SF; www.thebeautybar.com. 10pm, free. Hip-hop and other stuff.

Death Guild DNA Lounge. 9:30pm, $5. Goth/industrial with Decay, Melting Room, Daniel Skellington, Sage, and Lexor.

M.O.M. Madrone Art Bar. 6pm, free. DJs Timoteo Gigante, Gordo Cabeza, and Chris Phlek playing all Motown every Monday.

Soul Cafe John Colins Lounge, 138 Minna, SF; www.johncolins.com. 9pm. R&B, Hip-Hop, Neosoul, reggae, dancehall, and more with DJ Jerry Ross.

Vibes’N’Stuff El Amigo Bar, 3355 Mission, SF; (415) 852-0092. 10pm, free. Conscious jazz and hip-hop with DJs Luce Lucy, Vinnie Esparza, and more.

TUESDAY 25

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Craig Horton Band Biscuits and Blues. 7 and 9pm, $15.

"Black X-Mass" Elbo Room. 9:30pm, $10. With Metro Mictlan, Death Medicine Band, Skozey Fetisch, Amphibious Gestures, Theremin Wizard Barney.

Major Power and the Lo-Fi Symphony Amnesia. 9pm.

DANCE CLUBS

Death Guild X-Mess Night DNA Lounge. 9pm, $5.

On the Cheap Listings

Andrew Lam

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December 18, 2012

0

Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

WEDNESDAY 19

“The Sutter’s Mill Meteorite Fall in California’s Gold Country” Randall Museum, 199 Museum, SF. (415) 554-9600, . 7:30pm, free. Back in April, a small asteroid exploded in our atmosphere, scattering pieces of space rock all over the Colama region near Sacramento, including Sutter’s Mill where James Marshall first discovered gold in 1848. 164 years after the California Gold Rush, another rush has besieged this area — this time, everyone’s searching for space rocks. Dr. Peter Jenniskens from the SETI Institute delivers a presentation tonight about this new pursuit.

Final day of the Come Out and Play Festival SOMArts Cultural Center, 934 Brannan, SF. . All day, free. This month-long nostalgia triggering, fun-filled extravaganza of interactive games for adults is unfortunately coming to an end. Today’s your last chance to explore exhibits, play games, and take a break from your online pursuits.

Meet the Brewers 21st Amendment Brewery, 563 Second St., SF. . 6-9pm, free. Worshippers of SF craft brew, get ready to meet your heroes tonight at 21st Amendment’s cozy wood-lined brewpub, where you’ll have the chance to hang out with the joint’s brewers, beer demi-gods responsible for your favorite ales and lagers.

THURSDAY 20

Solstice Eve Ocean Beach near the end of Taraval, SF. . 3:30pm, free. Pagans and children of the night, gather yourselves for this celebration of solstice energy. Come for the bonfire, stay for the drum circle — and a possible nighttime dip into the frigid waters.

#trendingtopics Sip Bar, 787 Broadway, SF. . 9pm, free. Twitter’s trending topics more often than not are just the worst — #beliebersvsmonsters and #ghettomoviemashups, we’re looking at you. Host-comedian Dustin Hempstead attempts to make lemonade from these Internet culture lemons at this stand-up night, where local comics use trending topics as starting points for riffs.

“End of This World Summer Tour: A Show About a Road Trip” Heist Gallery, 679 Geary, SF. . Through Jan/26. Opening reception: 7pm, free. Sparkles Positron and D23’s vibrant take on the American road trip comes just in time to frame your experience of “apocalypse.” The two spent the past year going from destination to destination in a vehicle named the “Crystal Teardrop,” seeking artistic inspiration from our nation’s diverse array of locales. For all you looking for a consciousness shift from December 21st, this show is a good place to get started.

FRIDAY 21

“Mundo Maya” Galeria de la Raza, 2857 24th St., SF. (415) 826-8009, . 6-8pm, free. If the world is still around today, be sure to catch this celebration commemorating the end of Mayan calendar. This is no woo-woo cultural appropriation, however. Artwork from Latino/Mayan youth and artist Roberto Y. Hernandez will also be display at one of the Mission’s longest-running Latino-curated galleries.

Mutiny Radio Comedy Benefit Mutiny Radio, 2781 21st St., SF. . 8-10pm, $5-20. Laugh with the cast and crew of volunteer-run Mutiny Radio and toast to the survival of the Earth and the human race. Your entrance fee includes free wine, beer, swag, and raffle tickets. You could free bowling, concert tickets, or De Young passes — even if you don’t win anything just know you’ve helped out an awesome community radio station.

Singin’ & Pingin’ with American Tripps Rickshaw Stop, 155 Fell, SF. . 8pm-1am, $7. The town’s favorite ping-pong party has crossbred with musical chairs for a night of hybrid bar sports galore. In addition to the 20-contestant main event, there’ll be karaoke, foosball in the Rickshaw Stop mezzanine, and drink specials.

Winter Solstice Ceremony San Francisco Zen Center, 300 Page, SF. (415) 863-3136, . 6:15pm, free. Recharge during ritual on the longest night of the year, in the peaceful confines of the SF Zen Center.

SATURDAY 22

City Star Party Point Lobos, El Camino del Mar, SF. . 6:30-10pm, free. Pray to the weather gods for clear skies if you intend on joining the San Francisco Amateur Astronomers for tonight’s ogling at the stars session. First-timers will have the opportunity to take part in a telescope clinic to learn the ropes of the finely-tuned equipment.

SUNDAY 23

Moonfox Brick and Mortar Music Hall, 1710 Mission, SF. (415) 371-1631, . 7pm, $5-8. Catch rabble-rousing rockers Moonfox, singer-songwriter Prize, local indie-poppers Mammoth Life, and the eccentrics of The Liz O Show at Brick and Mortar Music Hall tonight.

TUESDAY 25

Jewish Christmas with Broke Ass Stuart The Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St., SF. . 5-11pm, $5-10. Strip dreidel set to the tune of streaming Woody Allen, Larry David, and Sacha Baron Cohen footage sounds like our kind of Christmas. Such was the vision of DJ Matt Haze and host Broke Ass Stuart, who designed this kitschy extravaganza for all of you (Chosen and Left Behind alike) who can’t stomach staying in on a perfectly good day off. Did we mention there will be a Chinese food buffet?

Seasonal drift

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December 18, 2012

0

le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS In weather, it was daytime and I had to go to work wearing a scarf. And gloves. On the bridge, traffic was red so I was running late, and I had to pick up dog medicine for the family dog along the way, El Cerrito.

I didn’t know why the traffic was so bad. Time of day, it didn’t make sense. But when I came out from under the upper deck into Oakland daylight, there was weather. And so maybe that was it. Traffic and weather together, as they say on the radio.

But this is the paper.

So I never seen anything like it: a skinny strip, almost a funnel of darkness, raining relatively hard on the MacArthur maze, and me, and nothing but blue skies on either side. It was a beautiful day behind me, in San Francisco. It was a beautiful day in downtown Oakland, and in Berkeley. Even in Emeryville, the skies were blue.

Meteorillogically, I had never seen anything like it. Just a ribbon, a ribbon of inclement weather.

I went to work.

CHEAP SPORTS

by Hedgehog

We’re back in San Francisco! It’s getting nigh Christmas time! And while neither of our fathers broke his neck whilst climbing down the chimney dressed like Santa Claus (like that poor Phoebe Cates in Gremlins,) Chicken Farmer has bad Germanic-Romantic associations with this time of the year and I myself was raised by a Master Humbugger. But we’re trying to get some of that seasonal spirit, despite our instincts’ best efforts to the contrary.

Alas, the world is against our holiday cheer. First, Google maps told us that ceremonial shrubbery could be had at the corner of Dolores and 15th. Liars. Instead of actual trees, we found only a banner pointing us toward Mission and 14th. Four blocks away.

But by the time we got there (six hours later, what with one thing, then the other) they were closed. 8:30pm.

Next day at 1pm, closed again. Just a lot of expensive trees behind a locked chain-link fence. And no hours posted. Sons a bitches.

Anyway we’ll probably have a tree or at the very least a green pillow propped in the corner, wrapped in lights, by the time you read this. In the meantime, I’ve got some bad news: no restaurant this week. We ate so much and so poorly as a touring rock band (Like us on Facebook! Listen to us on Bandcamp!) last week that I had to put my fork down: I am hereby and forthwith abstaining from all alcohol, cooking oils, dairy, gluten, and anything that the internet says could possibly cause bloating. But only until I can firmly establish that my clothes fit better, and then I’ll start adding things back in that I don’t want to be the culprit. It might take a few weeks though.

Actually, if anyone wants to submit a review in the meantime. . . Chicken Farmer isn’t here right now but I’m sure she’s fine with the idea.

Until one of youse steps up though, and by way of keeping to some sort of a format, I do have some sports news. Terry Francona is now managing the Cleveland Indians. I think I like that. At least I like it better than the thought of Bobby Valentine managing the Cleveland Indians.

The Indians also got Didi Gregorious (my favorite name in professional sports this year), Jason Donald, and Drew Stubbs from Cincinatti. And all they had to do was give the Reds $3.5 million in return. And Shin Soo Choo. Which is to say: $3.5 million. (Ba dum bum!)

But then the Indians turned around and traded my favorite name in professional sports to Arizona along with two other guys (neither of whom were Chris Perez) in order to acquire Trevor Bauer and two other pitchers (neither of whom were David Hernandez).

In other news, Josh Hamilton is no longer a Texas Ranger. He’s an Anaheim Angel. Which is fine by me, since I dislike both teams and therefore can continue to root against Josh Hamilton.

OK, maybe one food-related thing, since we have space. Voodoo Doughnuts in Portland. There’s one on either side of the Williamette River, but the “Too” in Buckman has shorter lines. We got a maple bacon doughnut. I liked it quite finely, but Chicken Farmer claims there are better ones right here.

I would tell you where, but she never took me so I can’t remember the name. Anyway, the Portland version was a couple of long strips of cold, well-done bacon lounging atop a hole-less, maple icing-blanketed log of fried dough. And the mystical SF version is circular and holed and apparently the bacon is crumbled and softer, so as to release more of its salty, meaty goodness into the sweet maple layer.

Either way: yum.

Last-minute gifts

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December 18, 2012

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culture@sfbg.com

SHOPPING Dearest Christian and Christian-adjacent reader: it’s too late for the Internet. Unless you want to shell out Santa-sized bucks for overnight delivery, you’re gonna have to fill those loved-ones’ stocking IRL, with a good ol’ fashioned brick-and-mortar dash through the metaphorical snow.

We mean you’re going to have to go shopping, duh. And your flight leaves on Saturday, or their flight lands on Friday, or you’re actually on your way to a holiday house party tonight! You can do better than a gift card. Yet even though you seem surrounded by retail options every moment of your life, when you’re forced to suddenly think about what to get tea party maven Aunt Tilly or your nine-year-old second cousin who you think is named Erica (Caitlin? Amy? Danica?) or your drunk sort-of-friends, the mind blanks and the plan nogs.

So some of the options below may seem obvious any other time of year, but here they are to help kickstart your Christmas consumer creativity motors. get ready to fill your sack with goodies! (Don’t forget to bring your own sack.)

GREEN APPLE BOOKS AND MUSIC

Calendars, calendars, calendars! No gift crisis cannot be solved by a glossy 2013 calendar featuring soft-focus lighthouses of Nova Scotia, baby baboons smearing ice cream in their hair, or various memes of yesteryear, repackaged helpfully for the Web-tardy. Oh, by the way, Green Apple is the largest bookstore in California, so there are books — and extremely helpful staff recommendations! — for everyone on your listicle.

506 Clement, SF. (415) 387-2272, www.greenapplebooks.com

HEARTFELT

Heartfelt is the very definition of a last-minute gift emporium, a place filled with low-cost creative items for all ages. Italian cookware, spandex log pillows, a hanging mobile you can customize with your own art … it’s an affordable world of creativity at your fingertips in Bernal Heights! Joke gifts (really creative ones), retro gifts, classic gifts, cool stuff you won’t see anywhere else .. you can cover almost everyone on your list in one heartfelt stop.

436 Cortland, SF. (415) 648-1380, www.heartfeltsf.com

22ND ANNUAL TELEGRAPH AVENUE HOLIDAY STREET FAIR

OK, more than 200 artists are showing off their goods all weekend in Berkeley — pottery, jewelry, t-shirts, hats, wall art, candles, leatherwork — surely you can find something for your dad while enjoying all the colorful characters, groovy tunes, and interesting eats that Berkeley can bring? It’s a bargain bonanza.

Dec 22-24, 11am-6pm, free. Between Dwight Way and Bancroft Way, Berk. www.telegraphfair.com

THE CANDY STORE

There are handmade smores. There are marshmallows made of vanilla and Maker’s Mark. Adorable candy-filled Christmas tree ornaments? Yes ma’am. A cornucopia of season-perfect foil-wrapped chocolates; pre-wrapped “round of four” gift packs featuring four kinds of house made candy; large jars of gianduja, chocolate-hazelnut spread that puts Nutella to shame? What were we talking about again?

1507 Vallejo, SF. (415) 921-8000, www.thecandystoresf.com

RARE DEVICE

Put a bird on them! Everyone needs a little twee under the tree, and this store — recently relocated to Divisadero in the place of our former butcher store — has lovely trinkets for all, in that naïve-sophisticate hipster style so popular with the kids these days. Everyone’s koo-koo for Rare’s impeccable jewelry collection and neato home decor and kitchenware collections — there are actually coffee mugs with birds on them, yasss. Unique kaleidoscopic printed blocks by Lisa Congdon will brighten anyone’s season, while festive Leah Duncan pillows add punch to every couch.

600 Divisadero, SF. (415) 863-3969, www.raredevice.net

POT AND PANTRY

What says love more than an exquisite aluminum egg timer, or cheer more than a fanciful cutting board shaped like a chicken? You’ll be ladling out the love (ladles available) and satisfying every cook and non-cook’s desire for kitchen accessories at this supercute Mission cupboard of culinary delights. This year, stick a whisk in their stocking and whip up some fun! (Sorry.) Or simply gift a unique recipe zine from P+P’s neat library. Great for everyone? Sparq stones — soapstone cubes you can use in hot or cold drinks to maintain temperature — and kicky colored salt cellars.

593 Guerrero, SF. (415) 206-1134, www.potandpantry.com

SUCCULENCE

The venerable and much-loved Four Star Video rental shop in Bernal Heights found that its business model had run its course, so it morphed into Succulence, a yummy boutique plant store that features (of course) succulents but also a wide range of gardening supplies and cute classes for kids of all ages. Creative and artsy plants and planters, terrariums, hanging plants — plenty here for anyone who likes to fill their home with greenery. Plus: Really cool hand-carved ballpoint pens, which, in the $50 range, are cheap for one-of-a-kind writing instruments.

402 Cortland, SF. (415) 282-2212, www.thesucculence.com

GREEN ARCADE

We’ll take any gift you’d like to gift us from this liberal bastion of bookery on Market Street. A wonderfully curated selection of tomes focuses on history and social and environmental issues, with a generous sprinkling of poetry, theory, and California-centric items. (While researching for this article, we were compelled by joy to snag a set of dish towels with old-time maps of the Golden State printed on them.) You’ll find great stuff for out-of-towners, armchair prophets, and new San Francisco arrivals here, or anyone who loves this kooky-beautiful land of ours.

1680 Market, SF. (415) 431-6800. www.thegreenarcade.com

UPPER PLAYGROUND

We have teenage boys in our life! Possibly you do in yours. They like to dress cool. Upper Playground has so many uniquely SF cool and boyish t-shirts, hats, hoodies, and related items that shopping for our cool teenage friends was so easy we began to suspect the whole enterprise. Is this reality? (There are also tasty items for women and walls as well.)

220 Fillmore, SF. (415) 861-1960, www.upperplayground.com

CHOCOLATE COVERED

This Noe Valley treasure is billed as “San Francisco’s Original Chocolate Boutique” — but we call it Dr Coacoa-nassus’ Chocolatarium of Head-Explosion and Wonderment. There is every kind of fantasy chocolate bar combination to be found within its charming bounds — maple-coconut chocolate, blueberry chocolate, gingerbread chocolate, luscious vegan chocolate truffles, tiny bon bons with the face of Mrs. Claus sculpted upon them! People, they had Obama chocolates here during the election. The walls are lined with mystery cabinets labeled with street signs indicating the theme of the candy within, making for an adventurous shopping experience as well.

4069 24th St., SF. (415) 641-8123, www.chocolatecoveredsf.com

ALL OF JAPANTOWN CENTER

Seriously, there is so much of interest here you can’t go wrong. Insanely detailed, completely untranslatable magazines devoted to singular cats and manga insanity at Kinokuniya Books; novelty fruit and animal eraser sets at Mai Do Fine Stationery so full of squee you want to eat them; scary-good replica samurai swords at Katachi; exquisitely wrapped boxes of chocolate strawberry mochi at Nippon Ya … spend a couple hours wandering this mall and you’ll come out with some really unique presents. Plus you’ll be full of delicious sushi and hot tea.

www.sfjapantown.com

Balkan brass blowup

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December 18, 2012

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emilysavage@sfbg.com

Tofu and Whiskey If you’re going to book a Balkan-influenced band, don’t expect the crowd to stay put. The Bay Area’s Inspector Gadje, an offshoot of the Brass Liberation Orchestra, usually packs in around 15 players, including 12 on horns and three percussionists. When the raucous group came marching through the wilderness (read: Golden Gate Park) during Outside Lands, it filled in crevices between trees, and created an instant party atmosphere between the main stages. Those fast-walking through the thoroughfare of Choco Lands stopped in their tracks, surrounded the group, and started dancing, against everyone’s better judgment. It all happened in the blink of a dirt-lodged eye.

“A lot of Balkan music has a great ‘party’ feel to it…even when the music includes moments or textures that might have a darker feel, the music is played with an undeniable exuberance,” says Oakland’s David Murray. “The rhythms of the Balkans; Greece, Macedonia, Serbia, Bulgaria, etc., include many unusual time signatures that are compelling and especially attractive to musicians.”

Murray, a graphic designer by trade, is one of those musicians — he’s been playing bouzouki in Greek Rebetika band Disciples of Markos since 2004, and also plays fiddle in the Squirrelly Stringband, which is the house band for the North Oakland square dance (a “monthly underground hillbilly dance party,” as he describes it). As a combination of his art and music backgrounds, he also produces and designs albums for the Dust-to-Digital record label, which specializes in reissuing obscure folk and world music.

His newest project, however, is all about the music of the Balkans. He began the Berkeley Balkan Bacchanal (berkeleybalkanbacchanal.com) music series at Berkeley’s Starry Plough in October 2011. He got the idea after meeting like-minded acts in the Bay Area, with affinities for Southeastern European styles of music. In the past year or so, the monthly Balkan showcase has seen performances by Murray’s band, along with Inspector Gadje, Zoyres, Veretski Pass, Janam, Gadjitos, and a dozen or so more.

The last Berkeley Balkan Bacchanal of 2012 takes place this week, with Fanfare Zambaleta, “Middle Eastern marching band” MWE, and Helm, a group that specializes in Turkish classical and pop music (Thu/20, 8pm. Starry Plough, 3101 Shattuck, Berk. www.starryploughpub.com). Murray says MWE, which includes three or four horns and the wailing Turkish reed (zurna), is known to play in the middle of the dancefloor with the crowd dancing around them. See? Instant party music.

I asked Murray if it’s been challenging to track down acts for this series, as it has such specific influences but he shut that down quick: “No, it hasn’t been difficult at all. There are a lot of great bands around here that fit into the theme of our series. At one point there were no less than three Balkan brass bands in town…And because we don’t mind pushing the boundaries of the Balkans to include neighboring influences, we’ve been able to feature bands that play Algerian music, Persian, and more.”

He added in some historical links, for good measure: “The Bay Area has a very vibrant Balkan music scene, which has some interesting origins in the 1960s, with bands like Kaleidoscope. The early California Renaissance Fairs provided an early outlet for many Balkan musicians, and music camps, such as Lark Camp in Mendocino, have been inspiring and teaching musicians for generations.”

As a novice listener, I’ve (admittedly) grown interested in Balkan sounds via more mainstream bands that have remote influences from the regions, acts like Balkan Beat Box and early Beirut, which typically blend sounds and instruments from a variety of places with pop and folk influences; but also thanks to Gogol Bordello and, more recently, Inspector Gadje, which is more purely influenced by the Balkan style.

“I tend to avoid bands that are actively ‘fusion,’ it doesn’t interest me much, especially bands that combine many styles,” Murray says. “It seems, to me, to usually dilute the very thing that makes the music interesting to begin with. But I’m sure there’s a wide range of opinions on this subject among the various bands and audience members.”

He says he’s more interested in bands that dig deep into the music they play, understanding the history and playing it in an authentic style. He brings up local bands such as Veretski Pass, which plays klezmer with accordion, fiddle, and bass, but also has studied the Jewish music of the Carpathian mountains, noting that the band will be back to the Starry Plough Jan. 17 for an all-klezmer night with the Gonifs.

But Murray points out that this doesn’t mean the acts of the Berkeley Balkan Bacchanal are rigid. “…that’s not to say that these bands are stuffy academics or that they don’t play with styles to some degree. On the contrary, most of the players are young and bring the music to life in a vibrant way that gets heads bobbing and feet dancing.”

“A great example is the Mano Cherga band, which played in September, and sounds like a Serbian party band you’d hear at a drunken wedding bash.”

Bring on the brass and vodka.

A VERY CASTLE FACE CHRISTMAS

There are a number of reasons why A Very Castle Face Christmas is an obvious choice. There’s performances by Thee Oh Sees, Blasted Canyons, Warm Soda, and recent GOLDIES winner the Mallard. Plus, it’s a benefit for the Coalition on Homelessness in SF, a very worthy cause. There’s also the added bonus of the venue itself. I just this week finally made it to a show at newish Mission venue the Chapel, and it was, frankly, charming — from the dark-wood high beam arched ceiling, to the multiple bars (three), to the band-watching angles (you can see from the main room, the balcony, and the soon-to-be-restaurant, plus there are flatscreens linked to cameras fixed on the stage). Win-win-win. Thu/20, 8:30pm, $15. Chapel, 777 Valencia, SF; www.thechapelsf.com.

HIGH ON FIRE

Following front person Matt Pike’s treatment for alcohol addiction, Oakland’s beloved stoner metal act High on Fire is back. Well, technically, the band has been back for about a month, touring the country on most recent release De Vermis Mysteriis. But this will be it’s first big show back in the Bay, where it belongs. With Goatwhore, Lo-Pan. Sat/22, 9pm, $21. Slim’s, 333 11th St., SF. www.slimspresents.com.

CHURCHES

Remember this summer, when distortion-loving East Bay act CHURCHES was Kickstarting a record written for the pro-marriage equality cause? The band — led by Caleb Nichols of Port O’Brien and Grand Lake, Pat Spurgeon of Rogue Wave, and Dominic East — exceeded its goal, and that seven-inch (LOVELIFE) will see release at Bottom of the Hill this week. The trio also released a music video in conjunction with the record: interspersed with the band playing is a classic family portrait set-up with scenes of smiling families, and CHURCHES with their friends and loved ones, including Nichol’s fiance, Grand Lake drummer John Pomeroy. With Tijuana Panthers, Toshio Hirano. Sat/22, 9pm, $12. Bottom of the Hill, 1233 17th St., SF; www.bottomofthehill.com

On the Om Front: MC Yogi’s Gandhi connection

Jesse Hawthorne Ficks

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December 14, 2012

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On the Om Front: MC Yogi’s Gandhi connection

You know yoga has arrived when yoga teachers are up at the mic giving a TED talk.

This past October, the Bay Area’s very own yoga teacher-rapper-extraordinaire MC Yogi took the stage at Madrone Studios in the Mission to address a room full of movers, thinkers, and shakers as part of an event called TED X City 2.0. The event was created to bring together bright, urban visionaries to speak about how to create more sustainable cities. I caught up with the MC Yogi this week to ask him about the experience, and how yoga teaches us in the Bay Area to be more sustainable.

SFBG What was it like getting up in front of all of those people at Madrone Studios?

MC YOGI It was awesome. I didn’t even know I was going to be giving a talk to be honest. I thought I was just going to come perform and sing a song, but then they asked me last minute if I’d like to come on a little early and talk, and I was like, that would be amazing. The audience was great, a full spectrum of different walks of life: young people, techie people, older hippies, architects and designers.

SFBG Why did they ask you to speak?

MC YOGI The theme of the day had to do with building more sustainable cities. Sustainability is mentioned a lot in the yoga tradition. Also, the new video that I showed on stage — Be the Change: The Story of Mahatma Gandhi — is a tribute to Gandhi, who was a huge proponent for sustainability.

SFBG Tell us about the video.

MC YOGI The song in the video is from my latest album, Pilgrimage. It took me and my friend Michael Rosen a year to produce this video — it was a labor of love.

SFBG How did Gandhi promote sustainability?

MC YOGI It was the way that he engaged people that opposed him. He always had this undercurrent of love. I think that’s a testament to someone who has a deep spiritual practice — when you can see the one shining in everything. I think it’s natural to try to bring out the best in everyone else. It’s not me against you. It’s about the greater good. Gandhi really took the time to listen and understand where everyone was coming from. The only way we are going to be able to sustain healthy cities is to hear all of the different sides and really practice deep listening.

SFBG How do yoga and music connect to sustainability?

MC YOGI In music, you always have tension and resolve. It’s the same with yoga. Tension is what holds everything together. You need tension to hold a family together, to hold a democracy together. But it has to be good tension. In a healthy democracy, there’s good debate. Not everyone has to agree, but as long as there’s respect and love, and we can appreciate from learning other people’s perspectives. Then we can start to see how everything contributes to the whole.

SFBG How can yoga help people to be more sustainable in the Bay Area?

MC YOGI Yoga is very empowering. When you practice yoga and meditation, and bring your attention to the breath and the postures, you start to realize how much influence you have over yourself. You become more aware of the food you eat and how far you’re driving to practice and other lifestyle choices. Like Gandhi, yoga teaches us that it’s important to hear different opinions and views. San Franciso is already an amazing testament of diversity. People come here from all over the world because they feel free to be themselves and practice their thing. But we have to remember that even though we all have the right to express our thing, we don’t have the right to do that at the expense of someone else.

SFBG What is the significance of a yoga teacher being asked to participate in a forum like this one?

MC YOGI It shows how yoga has become such a huge part of urban life. Yoga teachers are pillars in their communities. The modern teacher has kind of become like a therapist, a bartender, a DJ. They have the ability to influence a lot of people. But at the end of the day they are just people too. It’s important to remember that.

SFBG How does the community benefit from having yoga involved in a public forum?

MC YOGI It’s said that anytime you even hear the word yoga, it’s considered a blessing. It’s like hearing the word love. Just to hear that word, it’s good karma.

This year, MC Yogi’s latest album Pilgrimage debuted at number one on Itunes world music, and remained one of the top 25 world music albums of the year. MC Yogi owns Yoga Toes, a yoga studio in Point Reyes, with his wife Amanda.

Karen Macklin is a yoga teacher and multi-genre writer in San Francisco. She’s been up-dogging her way down the yogic path for over a decade, and is a lifelong lover of the word. To learn more about her teaching schedule and writing life, visit her site at www.karenmacklin.com. Follow On the Om Front on Facebook:www.facebook.com/ontheomfront

Hot sexy events: An end to violence, and a beginning of pantlessness

Andrew Lam

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December 13, 2012

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Hot sexy events: An end to violence, and a beginning of pantlessness

Before we get to the week in Bay Area sex events, here is something you will want to be aware of: the ingenious ad campaign perpetuated by Baltimore activists from Force: Upsetting Rape Culture, who riffed off of questionable underwear design from Victoria’s Secret. In doing so [as Baltimore Fishbowl reports], the group ended up giving the company irrefutable proof that yes, their clientele cares about consent when in comes to sex.

“[VS’] ‘Sure Thing’ and ‘Yes No Maybe’ and ‘NO peeking’ underwear promote the idea of limitless availability,” Force activists Hannah Brancato and Rebecca Nagle told Fishbowl. “Or on the other hand, leaving the choice up to the (presumably male) partner. The brand teaches girls to be coy instead of vocal and makes it seem uncool and unsexy to say no and mean it.”

So what’d they do about it? They made a fake VS website promoting undies that say “No Means No” and “Ask First”, and mounted a viral social media campaign, and soon enough the praise for VS’ apparent conscious-dawning was rolling in via Twitter, Facebook, etc. from survivors of sexual assault and VS employees alike. The website and @LoveConsent Twitter handle were eventually shut down, but not before their effects were visible across the Interwebs.

So that was neat. On to the week in Bay sex.

Moon Market

Insofar periods are related to babies are related to the act of making love, this is a sex event! This lil’ indie gift fair features sea sponge menustration kits from Holy Sponge, kits that feature besides two all-natural, sustainably-harvested sea sponges, tea tree oil with which to disinfect them, and desert or white sage with which to purfity thyself. Also, lunar eclipses are sexy, and you will want to be in a room full of lunaphiles when Friday’s occurs, so go. Also on sale: Chamomile on Mars‘ hangover tea and Down At Lulu‘s vintage ladywear.

Fri/14, 6-9pm, free. Pepples Donuts, 6037 San Pablo, Oakl. Facebook: Moon Market II

Pants Off

It’s not important what you have on underneath them, gentlemen — panties, briefs, jocks, or otherwise. What matter is that you remove them, immediately. Your pants, of course. And you’ll be in good company in this deliciously seedy SoMa dive — studly go-gos serve as role models for what to do when you’ve freed yourself from lower body constrictions.

Fri/14, 11pm-1am, free. KOK Bar, 1225 Folsom, SF. www.kokbarsf.com

Whobilation

The pansexual costumed pervs of Kinky Salon host their yearly holiday party, where DJs spin, swingers swing, and a candy cane fellation contest will incur horrendous sweet tooths. Says the website:

So fluff up your PinkMink and shine up your Ball-Hoo

Put that ruff on your muff and buff up your wazoos

The joint will be hoppin, the bubbly poppin

and of Merriment & Mirth- you may ask?

no, there’s no stopping!

Sat/15, 10pm-late, price and location info sent to those who sign up for free membership. www.kinkysalon.com

School of Shimmy student showcase

Enter the world of Dottie Lux, creator of this local troupe of pasty-shaking, heart-breaking burlesque performers. Today’s showcase features numbers by Lux La Croix, Dorian Faust, and Ruby Vixen — plus a host of guest stars and Lux herself overseeing precedings.

Sun/16, 10pm, $10. Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission, SF. www.redhotsburlesque.com

International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers

Ten years ago, feminist porn icons Annie Sprinkle and Robyn Few (RIP) marked December 17th by holding a candlelight vigil for the 70-plus victims, many of them sex workers, of Washington State’s Green River Killer. Since then, their simple ritual has spread across the globe, and the day has become an annual opportunity to call for justice for sex workers everywhere. Attend the vigil at the Center for Sex and Culture, where everyone is invited to add to a community altar to those who’ve passed, and the birth of a new PFLAG-style group for friends and family of sex workers will be announced.

Mon/17, 5-7pm, free. Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission, SF. www.december17.org

Win a harness, why don’t you?

Drop by your locally-born national purveyor of quality sex accoutrement to meet Tres, who created the SpareParts HardWear line of harnesses. SpareParts’ Sasha harness may be of particular note — the ruched sides of the attached panty give an extra frisson of femme-sexy to your playtime. Sasha is among the two harnesses that will be raffled off today at the store and Tres will be doing fittings for customers, so no more chafing or slipping for you.

Dec. 20, 3-7pm, free. Good Vibrations, 2504 San Pablo, Berk. www.goodvibes.com

Look out for fracking (and how to stop it)

Zelda Bronstein

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December 13, 2012

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$Look out for fracking (and how to stop it)$

There’s enough oil (maybe) under Central California to make petro companies vastly rich, and to keep people driving around in their carbon-spewing private cars for many years to come. Only problem is you have to use hydrofracking to bust up the shale deposits to get at it. And that involves toxic chemicals and possible contamination of water supplies.

But never mind the environmental problems — the Obama administration just auctioned off drilling rights on 18,000 acres of land in Monterey, San Benito and Fresno counties, valuable public open space that’s now mostly used for agriculture.

That’s potentially a serious problem, and there’s a good piece that ran last year in the San Luis Obispo New Times that explains why. Nobody knows for sure what happens when you inject that much of a secret mix of chemicals into the ground below a water table that underlies prime ag land. But based on the entire history of human experience with chemicals and water, it can’t be good.

Food and Water Watch is trying to get the state Legislature to enact a moratorium on fracking in California — although that wouldn’t stop the feds, who can still do what they please with Bureau of Land Management property in this or any other state, from allowing Chevron and ExxonMobil to frack up a storm in this lease area. There’s a benefit concert Dec. 14, Friday night, to raise funds and awareness to stop fracking; it features a pedal-powered stage with Whiskerman and Shake Your Peace. Inner Mission, 2050 Bryant, SF. 8-11PM. $10.

It’s a start.

W. Kamau Bell plays the Fillmore, but doesn’t hold back for the home crowd

Andrew Lam

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December 12, 2012

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A word of advice to the person who shouted, “who’s your favorite clothing designer?,” at W. Kamau Bell during his December 9th show at the Fillmore: a guy who wears a “Legalize Arizona” t-shirt during a night he considers one of the biggest moments of his career probably doesn’t give a shit about fashion. (Initially befuddled by the question, Bell eventually responded “Dickies.”) In addition, to the person who asked Bell whether or not he thought was a whore for being on TV, if he is a one … well you paid for your ticket to the show, right?

Glad we could get that out of the way first.

Bell’s Fillmore gig in the city where he resided for 15 years was one of seven on his Kamau Mau Uprising tour – the name an obvious nod to his radical political leanings. But perhaps none of the other venues held as much significance for him as this one. As he told me in our recent Guardian interview, “in some sense that’s bigger than getting a TV show, when they said that I was going to play the Fillmore.”

The comic’s giddiness in reuniting with the people of his adopted homeland (he grew up in Chicago) was evident as his 6’4” frame came lumbering onto the stage, just moments after opener Dave Thomason’s set. Thomason supposedly was going to go off stage and then come back on to introduce Bell, but Bell apparently didn’t get the memo and strolled right into the spotlight sans introduction from Thomason.

You don’t have to be Nate Silver (a.k.a., White Jesus, according to Bell) to predict how a show like this was going to begin. When a local comedian leaves town to get his own TV show in New York – Totally Biased With W. Kamau Bell was recently renewed for a second season – it’s pretty much de rigueur that he opens by regaling the crowd with an anecdotal New York show biz story followed by some softball home crowd-pleasers.

And that’s how it happened. Bell told a story about the time he appeared on The View with Taylor Swift and his towncar was swarmed by six or seven deranged teenyboppers. As for the home crowd pleaser, Bell teased the East Bay denizens about their reluctance to cross the bridge for pretty much any reason. Low hanging fruit? Sure. Could he have easily flipped which side of the Bay he was joshing? Sure. Was it necessary? Absolutely! Broad home crowd pleasers are hypeman-stand-ins in the world of live comedy.

Once we got past the “homecoming” novelty (it never fully went away) Bell hit full stride, thwacking the audience with his favorite subject: race! A palpable liberal queasiness was rife in the historic theater when Bell struck his harshest notes, especially those recounting his own experiences with racism — he once got called the n-word twice in one night in the Mission.

And then as kicker, he chucked sexuality in the mix:

“Hey I’ve lived in San Francisco for 15 years, I never had any beef with gay people, I had way more beef with Chinese people than gay people. Way more, not even close and that’s why I don’t think we should let Chinese people get married. If there’s one point I’m making tonight it’s that Chinese people should not be allowed to get married…That’s the funny thing about San Francisco, it has this reputation of being gay but it’s way more Asian than gay and on some level, gay trumps Asian.”

For the record W. Kamau Bell isn’t actually against Chinese marriage.

Bell’s best quality is his ability to derive humor from seemingly humorless racial topics, distributing laughter equally among the crowd. At no point during the show did it seem like a certain joke got more laughs from people of a certain race. No one else can make the Fillmore ignite in uproarious laughter with a joke skewering the supposed notion that black people were responsible for Prop. 8 passing.

Bell’s “I’m glad to be back!” moment played out exactly like it was scripted. It took place in the perfect setting. Nostalgia and a familiar audience drove Bell’s success at the Fillmore. His biggest challenge, of course, lies ahead: replicating those fuzzy feelings in TV land.

Local blogs fumble story of sex worker activist named legislative aide

Andrew Lam

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December 12, 2012

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We were thrilled to bits at the Guardian when St. James Infirmary’s longtime program director and former Harvey Milk Club president Stephany Joy Ashley was named Supervisor David Campos’ new legislative aide. Ashley was a speaker on our “Feminism in the Bay Area Today” panel discussion and worked on a number of political campaigns, from John Avalos’ bid for mayor to Rafael Mandleman’s 2010 run for District 8 supervisor.

However, local blogs read her primarily as a former stripper. “Lusty Activist is the New Campos Aide,” read Misson Loc@l’s headline. “David Campos’ New Aide Is a Former Lusty Lady Dancer,” read the headline on SFist. Way to focus on the important stuff, guys.

Of course, Ashley was a stripper at SF’s amazing worker-owned strip club — six years ago. And we think it’s awesome that we live in a town that doesn’t separate sex workers from the political world. And actually, the Mission Loc@l headline isn’t really indicative of the article’s content, which does focus on Ashley’s impressive qualifications.

But, the fact of the matter is that “Lusty activist” and “former Lusty Lady dancer” are really insufficient descriptors for someone who has continued to play really important roles in the community since her days at the Lusty. It’s hardly the most unique thing about Ashley either, given her achievements since.

We get it local bloggers, we’re all looking for clicks. But let’s not sensationalize sex work — not to mention completly legal sex work — anymore. This story was already awesome without it.

Rep Clock

Andrew Lam

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December 11, 2012

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Schedules are for Wed/12-Tue/18 except where noted. Director and year are given when available. Double features marked with a •. All times pm unless otherwise specified.

ARTISTS’ TELEVISION ACCESS 992 Valencia, SF; www.atasite.org. $6.66. "Other Cinema:" "Incredibly Strange Religion," Sat, 8:30.

CASTRO 429 Castro, SF; (415) 621-6120, www.castrotheatre.com. $8.50-11. Frankenweenie (Burton, 2012), Wed, 2:30, 4:45, 7, 9:15. Wake in Fright (Kotcheff, 1971), Thu, 2, 4:30, 7, 9:20. •Eyes Wide Shut (Kubrick, 1999), Fri, 5:30, and The Shining (Kubrick, 1980), Fri, 8:30. "Peaches Christ Productions Presents: The Nightmare We Call Christmas:" Edward Scissorhands (Burton, 1990), Sat, 8. With pre-show spectacular; advance tickets ($25-45) at www.peacheschrist.com. Hannah Free (Carlton, 2009), Sun, 1. Scrooge and Marley (Knight and Neville, 2012), Sun, 3:15. Once Upon a Time in the West (Leone, 1968), Sun, 7.

CHRISTOPHER B. SMITH RAFAEL FILM CENTER 1118 Fourth St, San Rafael; (415) 454-1222, www.cafilm.org. $6.75-$10.25. A Late Quartet (Zilberman, 2012), call for dates and times. A Royal Affair (Arcel, 2012), call for dates and times. "Pierre Étaix: Lost and Found:" Land of Milk and Honey (1971), Wed, 6:45; Yo Yo (1965), Wed, 8:30; Le Grand Amour (1969) with "Happy Anniversary" (1962), Thu, 6:45; As Long As You’re Healthy (1966) with "Feeling Good" (1969), Thu, 9. Any Day Now (Fine, 2012), Dec 14-20, call for times.

KADIST ART FOUNDATON 3295 20th St, SF; www.sffs.org. Free. "KinoTek: Take Off Kora Ezawa Kenneth Goldsmith," Wed, 7.

PACIFIC FILM ARCHIVE 2575 Bancroft, Berk; (510) 642-5249, bampfa.berkeley.edu. $5.50-9.50. PFA closed through Jan 9.

ROXIE 3117 and 3125 16th St, SF; (415) 863-1087, www.roxie.com. $6.50-11. Jason Becker: Not Dead Yet (Vile, 2012), Wed, 7, 9. Just 45 Minutes from Broadway (Jaglom, 2012), Wed-Thu, 7, 9:15. "Kung Fu Theater:" •Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow (Yuen, 1978), Thu, 7:30, and Seven Grandmasters (Kuo, 1978), Thu, 9:15. This event, $12. "Found Footage Festival," Fri-Sat, 8. This event, $13; more info at www.foundfootagefest.com. It’s Such a Beautiful Day (Hertzfeldt, 2007/2012), Sat-Sun, 4:30, 6:15; Mon, 7, 8:30.

SF CINEMATHEQUE Incline Gallery, 766 Valencia, SF; www.sfcinematheque.org. $10-40. Benefit art auction to celebrate Cinematheque’s 51st year, Fri, 6-8:30. Roxie, 3117 16th St, SF. "Songs for the Animals: A Performance Video Celebration," Fri, 9:30.

VORTEX ROOM 1082 Howard, SF; Facebook: The Vortex Room. $10. "The Vortex Apocalypse, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Thursday Film Cult:" •The Omega Man (Sagal, 1971), Thu, 9, and The Raiders of Atlantis (Deodato, 1983), Thu, 11.

YERBA BUENA CENTER FOR THE ARTS 701 Mission, SF; www.ybca.org. $8-10. "Honk If You’re Horny: Retro Sex Musicals:" The First Nudie Musical (Haggard and Kimmel, 1976), Thu, 7:30. Marx Reloaded (Barker, 2011), Sat-Sun, 4 (also Sat, 7:30; Sun, 2).

YEAR IN MUSIC 2012: Blowing like the wind

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December 11, 2012

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YEAR IN MUSIC 2012: Blowing like the wind

marke@sfbg.com

SUPER EGO Look, if I was doing my job properly, there’s no way in Hello Kitty I’d remember what happened on the club scene the past year. It’s all fuzzy shapes and drunk colors, like Barbara Bush in a bathhouse. Last February, it took me two whole pages of tiny type just to list my favorite weekly clubs, so I’m not gonna go into all that here. (I will say that parties like Housepitality, Honey Soundsystem, Lights Down Low, Icee Hot, Dub Mission, Non-Stop Bhangra, No Way Back, As You Like It, Forward, Deep, Base, and Sunset continued to introduce us to incredible DJs. And wasn’t there someone from Detroit here, like, every week?) Here are some things, however, I do recall

Loudest: Body and Soul at Mighty — my ears rang for a week, my feet for three.

Wowest: Amon Tobin’s giant tetris of digital video projections for his ISAM Live 2.0 tour at the Greek Theater.

Scary-Hottest: International leather techno entity Luther at Folsom Street Fair.

Coolest: Marco De La Vega, cross-genre promoter of the year, watching from the DJ booth as a kick-ass $3000 light falls on a table’s-worth of Balam Acab and Andy Stott’s live electronic equipment at Public Works. Then finishing his cocktail before handling the ensuing panic.

Wowest, part 2: The SF Symphony’s American Mavericks concert series (including a Kate Bush-referencing piece by DJ Masonic), SF Opera’s “Nixon in China,” the amazing Soundwave Festival, the hella robust Electronic Music festival.

Trippiest: Those immersive projections at Public Works, which turned Laurent Garnier’s live show into a cartoon-heart-filled rave aquarium and Jeff Mills’ into a star-map vortex.

Cutest: The tiny flashing lights on the ceiling of the remodeled, excellent 222 Hyde.

Latest: We got a trap club (Trap City), a new wave of cyber-horror drag performance artists (at Some Thing, Dark Room, High Fantasy), a packed gay sports bar (Hi Tops), a great-sounding new club (Monarch), a lunchtime dance party (Beats for Lunch, also at Monarch), an outbreak of vogueing (everywhere), a queer nu-hip-hop club (Swagger Like Us), a queer funk classics party (Love Will Fix It), and a weird “sparkling alcohol water” (Air). But we lost Club Six, which I loved. Also I think dubstep died.

Loveliest: Dancing in a church with 30 other people to hip-house legend Tyree Cooper, singing along to “Turn Up the Bass.” Watching real house parties like The People blow up in the East Bay. Sipping homemade sljivovica behind the decks with DJ Zeljko of Kafana Balkan. Doing the jerk ’til I melted at Hard French. DJing (eek!) Club Isis classics on vinyl at Go Bang. I think I almost made out with Kenny Dope at Red Bull Music Academy? Oh, and running into you.

>>Check the rest of our YEAR IN MUSIC 2012 issue.

MARKE B.’S 2012 JAMS

1. Todd Terje, “Inspector Norse” This was a dance music year that sometimes seemed to vacillate among three primary moods — prim sophistication, moneyed “indulgence,” and too-broad jokes. But Norwegian Terje dared proffer the sweetest humor in this instant earworm’s worth of re-engineered nostalgia, embracing the cheery electronic toodles of early ’80s British and Scandinavian TV show themes (cf. especially “Grange Hill” and “Swap Shop,” though not “Inspector Morse”) and bringing smiles back to the dance floor.

2. John Talabot, FACT Mix 315 A spectacular year for the Spaniard, whose expansive take on the decades-old Balearic sound already had him pegged for a 2012 favorite, even before he dropped excellent album Fin, which toyed with melancholic UK bass sounds and yielded my second favorite tune of the year, hopelessly romantic “So Will Be Now” with Pional. But this mix for FACT showed that the dark underpinnings of witchy house and the sunstroked uplift of Ibiza could be reconciled via a tingly rush of subtle, brilliant psychedelia. Trippy, lovely, and the right little bit of creepy.

3. Plan B, “Ill Manors” I detested The Prodigy the first time around — they were goofy twats who had nothing to be angry about. No surprise “Firestarter” was played for the Queen at this year’s Olympics opening ceremony. So much for anarchy in the UK, although Azaelia Banks mashing it up with “212” at Coachella was fun. UK rapper-singer Plan B managed to weld the Prodigy (and nascent drum and bass) revival to the real world anarchic energy of last year’s UK riots, his Tchaikovsky-sampling tune shivering with council flat rage, ambivalent violence, Olympic protest, and youthful nihilism. Watch his self-directed, horrifically poignant shoestring video, then laugh at the Grammys as accolades rain down on Romain Gavras’ extravagant ripoff for “No Church in the Wild.”

4. Rrose, Smoke Machine Podcast 069 Electronic Body Music for our time, rippling with muscular textures and ethereal trap doors.

5. Justin Martin, Crackcast 019 For all the diversity of the local scene, the Dirtybird crew is still our major player on the global dance music stage. (Of our three big breakout acts this year, Safeword is rad, Poolside is cute, Pillow Talk leaves me cold so far.) Fine, I adore them. Nobody else sounds like they’re having more fun while slyly executing tricky, emotionally satisfying bass maneuvers like Claude VonStroke and his stable. This year was stellar for the fiendishly clever Justin in terms of addictive mixes (his album “Ghettos and Gardens” was good, too, but I took issue with the insensitive tone of some of the promotional materials). This podcast, along with his Fabric and Clash ones, never left my iRotation.

OTHERS: MK, Old School Classics Mix; Le1f, “Wut”; Azaelia Banks, “Fierce”; Fantastic Mr. Fox, “San’en”; Andy Stott, “Luxury Problems EP”; Dutch Uncles, “Fester”; Ripperton, “Let’s Hope”; Sailor & I, “Tough Love (Aril Brikha remix)”; Jessie Ware and Julio Bashmore, “110%,”; Disclosure, “Latch”; Prince Club and Steve Huerta, “Can’t Let Go”; Bwana, “Baby Let Me Finish (Black Orange Juice Remix)”; Stereogamous, “Feel Love Anew”; Little People, “Aldgate Patterns.”

Stage Listings

Andrew Lam

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December 11, 2012

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Stage listings are compiled by Guardian staff. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

THEATER

OPENING

Brian Copeland’s The Jewelry Box … A Genuine Christmas Story Marsh San Francisco, 1062 Valencia, SF; www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Opens Fri/14, 8pm. Runs Fri, 8pm; Sat, 5pm. Through Dec 29. Copeland remembers his Oakland childhood in this family-friendly holiday show.

Crones for the Holidays Stage Werx, 446 Valencia, SF; www.crackpotcrones.com. $20. Opens Sat/15, 3pm. Runs Sat, 3 and 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Dec 30. Terry Baum and Carolyn Myers (a.k.a. the Crackpot Crones) perform their new sketch comedy and improv show.

Scrooge: The Haunting of Ebenezer Boxcar Theatre Studios, 125A Hyde, SF; www.boxcartheatre.org. $16. Opens Wed/12, 8pm. Runs Wed-Sat, 8pm; Dec 24 and 30, 5pm. Through Dec 30. Jeff Garrett stars in a solo take on the Dickens classic, presented by Boxcar Theatre.

BAY AREA

Big Bubbly Holiday Spectacle with Louis Pearl, the Amazing Bubble Man Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; www.themarsh.org. $8-50. Sun and Dec 26-29, 11am. Through Jan 6. Holiday-themed, kid-friendly show with bubble whisperer Louis Pearl.

Wavy Gravy and His Guided Mistletoes Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; www.themarsh.org. $15-50. Opens Thu/13, 8pm. Runs Thu-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Dec 23. The activist legend shares stories and holiday cheer.

ONGOING

A Christmas Carol Geary Theater, 415 Geary, SF; www.act-sf.org. $20-95. Tue-Sat, 7pm (no evening performance Tue/18; also 2pm matinees Wed/12, Sat/15, and Dec 21 and 22; Sun, 5:30pm (also 1pm matinees Sun/16 and Dec 23); Dec 24, 1pm. Through Dec 24. American Conservatory Theater’s annual holiday performance features James Carpenter as Scrooge.

Foodies! The Musical Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter, SF; www.foodiesthemusical.com. $30-34. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Open-ended. AWAT Productions presents Morris Bobrow’s musical comedy revue all about food.

Forking II: A Merry Forking! Christmas TJT, 460 Florida, SF; www.pianofight.com. $30. Thu-Sun, 8pm. Through Dec 30. PianoFight presents the return of playwright Daniel Heath’s 2011 holiday-themed Forking play, his brand for a play that allows audiences to vote by applause on the direction of the plot at certain junctures, or forks, in the narrative. In this forked-up Christmas tale, set in a busy mall on Christmas Eve, a dispirited underemployed Santa and his pot-dealing bakery-store roommate help to galvanize a group of characters who become entangled in a web of shopping, romance, and space cookies. There are weaker moments and some throwaway ideas, but not many: this is a solid comedic outing, whose 10-member cast (including a memorable cameo by PianoFight cofounder Rob Ready) is capable, versatile, and fun as they serve Heath’s witty, well-proportioned script. (Avila)

The Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th St, SF; www.trannyshack.com. $30. Thu-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Dec 30. The Victoria is once again a time capsule taking appreciate audiences back to the 1980s, to watch television through the magic of drag performance. Local luminaries Pollo Del Mar, Cookie Dough, Heklina, and Matthew Martin reprise their seasonal roles as TV’s Golden Girls, in back-to-back Christmas episodes that come complete with a soundscape of impossibly cheerful period commercials literally singing the praises of "processed cheese spread" and the like. In the first episode, "Scared Straight," Blanche (played by Martin, a swaggering hip-notizer of the first order) discovers her little brother (a lively Manuel Caneri) is gay, with much drama ensuing, at least until the last commercial break. Meanwhile, Dorothy’s (Heklina) mother, Sophia (Cookie Dough), prepares for imminent death as foretold by a dream featuring her late husband. In episode two, "Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas," the girls’ plans to spend the holiday with their families gets derailed when a lonely gunman (Laurie Bushman) enters the crisis center where Rose (Del Mar) works, holding everyone hostage. But Christmas together kind of works too, even if it’s not exactly Family Ties. (Avila)

Hedwig and the Angry Inch Boxcar Playhouse, 505 Natoma, SF; www.boxcartheatre.org. $25-35. Wed-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 5pm). Through Jan 26. Boxcar’s popular production of John Cameron Mitchell’s glam-rock musical returns, starring a rotating cast of Hedwigs.

History: The Musical Un-Scripted Theater, 533 Sutter, SF; www.un-scripted.com. $10-20. Thu-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 22. The Un-Scripted Theater Company performs "an unscripted romp through Western history."

Hysterical, Historical San Francisco: Holiday Edition Alcove Theater, 414 Mason, Ste 502, SF; www.thealcovetheater.com. $25-40. Fri-Sat and Dec 26-31, 9pm. Through Dec 31. Comedian Kurt Weitzmann takes on San Francisco history, adding some holiday flair along the way.

The Marvelous Wonderettes New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness, SF; www.nctcsf.org. $27-46. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm (no show Dec 23). Through Jan 13. New Conservatory Theatre Center performs Roger Bean’s 1950s pop-hit musical.

"A Minor Cycle: Five Little Plays in One Starry Night" NOHspace, Project Artaud, 2840 Mariposa, SF; www.theatreofyugen.org. $10-30. Wed-Thu, 7pm; Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 1pm. Through Dec 30. Theatre of Yugen presents the world premiere of five one-act plays based on tales of childhood, interpreted though traditional Japanese artistry.

The New California Traveling Jewish Theater, 470 Florida, SF; www.pianofight.com. $20-25. Wed, 8pm. Through Dec 19. PianoFight’s all-female ForePlays troupe offers this bleak take on the future of the state, after the Big One shears California off from the mainland and everyone begins "drifting away from the rest of the United States." You wouldn’t know it by the dispiritingly pedestrian humor on display in this series of mostly feeble sketches (written by Kate Jones, Jessica Mele, Rachel Rockwood, Emma Shelton, Meredith Terry, and Sarah Wright), which tend to cling to the worst tendencies in the culture with a complacency masquerading as satire. Also on the bill is stand-up comedian Clare O’Kane, who’s something of a relief; and comic musician Lady Blanche, with interludes of a forgettable nature. (Avila)

Open Shotwell Studios, 3252 19th St, SF; www.brownpapertickets.com. $20. Fri/14-Sat/15 and Mon/17, 8pm. A title like this can mean so many things — at least everywhere else. In San Francisco, it pretty much says polyamorous relationship. Whether that translates into the height of maturity, an escape from bourgeois convention, or the folly of bored hedonists is no doubt case specific. But anything this popular is already suspect to some, including apparently the creators of this sharp, sexy, consistently amusing new comedy, written and directed by San Francisco–based Jeff Bedillion (Country Club Catastrophe) and co-presented by Back Alley Theater and Footloose. The Hunstvilles, Veronica (Katherine Otis) and Duncan (Brian Cybok), are local thirtysomething professionals with a comfortable nest — shared with Veronica’s live-in executive assistant (Julia Lienke) — who agree to spice up their sex life after five years of marriage by allowing each other one-night stands with anonymous strangers. Duncan’s tastes lend themselves to adopting Marin skater kids (Salvadore Mattos) as house slaves, while Veronica, with a little help from gay associate Francisco (Renato Robles), finds herself small-ponding it, meeting straight guys (Luke Wold) in gay bars. A promiscuous love letter to San Francisco, Open comes filled with self-referential humor and winking asides, but the charm is in the raunchy "I Love Lucy, Among Others" sit-com spirit of the piece and the charming cast, headed up by Otis’s powerhouse comedic performance — ribald, sultry, and vulnerable practically at once (even in the midst of one of the more credible and hilarious drunk scenes you’ll see on any stage this year). (Avila)

Pal Joey Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson, SF; www.42ndstreetmoon.org. $25-75. Wed/12, 7pm; Thu/13-Fri/14, 8pm; Sat/15, 6pm; Sun/16, 3pm. 42nd Street Moon performs the Rodgers and Hart classic.

The Rainmaker Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter, SF; www.sheltontheater.org. $38. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 22. Shelton Theatre performs N. Richard Nash’s classic drama.

"The San Francisco Olympians Festival" Exit Theater, 156 Eddy, SF; www.sfolympians.com. $10. Wed-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm). Through Dec 20. This 12-night festival features brand-new plays by Bay Area writers, each based on one of the 12 Olympian gods of ancient Greece.

Speed-the-Plow Actors Theatre of San Francisco, 855 Bush, SF; www.actorstheatresf.org. $26-38. Wed-Sat, 8pm. Extended through Dec 21. Actors Theatre of San Francisco performs the David Mamet drama.

The Submission New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness, SF; www.nctcsf.org. $25-45. Wed/12-Sat/15, 8pm; Sun/16, 2pm. New Conservatory Theatre Center performs Jeff Talbott’s drama about a playwright who falsifies his identity when he enters his latest work into a prestigious theater festival.

BAY AREA

Acid Test: The Many Incarnations of Ram Dass Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; www.themarsh.org. $15-50. Thu-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 5pm. Extended through Jan 5. Lynne Kaufman’s new play stars Warren David Keith as the noted spiritual figure.

Big River TheatreWorks, 1305 Middlefield, Palo Alto; www.theatreworks.org. $23-73. Tue-Wed, 7:30pm; Thu-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm); Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Dec 30. TheatreWorks performs the Tony-winning musical based on Mark Twain’s Huck Finn stories.

Dracula Berkeley Community Church, 1802 Fairview, Berk; www.infernotheatre.org. $12-25. Thu/13 and Sat/15-Sun/16, 8pm; Fri/14, 9pm. Inferno Theatre Company performs Giulio Cesare Perrone’s adaptation of the Bram Stoker classic.

It’s a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play Marin Theatre Company, 397 Miller, Mill Valley; www.marintheatre.org. $36-57. Wed/12, 7:30pm; Thu/13-Sat/15, 8pm (also Sat/15, 2pm); Sun/16, 2 and 7pm. Marin Theatre Company performs Joe Landry’s live radio play adaptation of the classic Capra film.

The Kipling Hotel: True Misadventures of the Electric Pink ’80s Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Sat/15, 8:30pm; Sun/16, 7pm. This new autobiographical solo show by Don Reed, writer-performer of the fine and long-running East 14th, is another slice of the artist’s journey from 1970s Oakland ghetto to comedy-circuit respectability. Even with some awkward bumps along the way, it’s never a dull thing watching Reed work. (Avila)

The White Snake Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Roda Theatre, 2025 Addison, Berk; www.berkeleyrep.org. $29-99. Tue and Thu-Sat, 8pm (also Sat and Thu/13, 2pm); Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Dec 23. In Mary Zimmerman’s The White Snake, nothing is quite as it seems. A mysterious stranger and her faithful servant are, in reality, a pair of shape-shifting serpents, the humble village pharmacy they build (with stolen money) is a front for their magical healing powers, a venerated Buddhist Abbott is actually a small-minded tyrant with a remarkably unholy obsession. Based on a Chinese myth dating to the 10th century, elements of "The White Snake" can be found in other mythologies around the world — from the biblical tempter in the Garden of Eden, to the healer snakes of Asclepius. However, in accordance with the tale’s historical evolution, from horror story to romance, Zimmerman’s treatment focuses mainly on the unusual love affair between Madame White (Amy Kim Waschke) and her karma-selected husband Xu Xian (Christopher Livingston). Weaving together fanciful design (a rainfall of ribbons, parasol puppetry, elegant period costuming and evocative video), elements of Chinese drama (amusingly described by narrators as they take place on stage), and a stirring reflection on the transformative power of love, complete with themes of self-sacrifice and endless fidelity, The White Snake, is a delicately-rendered fairytale which may not offer a way to enlightenment, but certainly clears a path to the heart. (Gluckstern)

Woyzeck Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby, Berk; www.shotgunplayers.org. $23-35. Wed-Thu, 7pm; Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 27. Shotgun Players presents Tom Waits, Kathleen Brennan, and Robert Wilson’s tragic musical, based on an unfinished 1837 play by Georg Büchner.

PERFORMANCE/DANCE

"Abigail the Rock Opera" DanzHaus – Gingerbread House, 1275 Connecticut, SF; www.abigailtherockopera.com. Sat/15, 8pm. $15. Skycastle/Buzz Productions’ original rock opera about the Salem witch trials.

"The Bald Soprano" Dark Room, 2263 Mission, SF; atypicalactor@gmail.com. Thu/13 and Dec 20-22, 8pm; Fri/14-Sat/15, 10pm. $5-12. Theatre of the absurd by way of Ionesco.

BATS Improv Bayfront Theater, B350 Fort Mason Center, SF; www.improv.org. $20. "Theatresports," Fri, 8pm, through Dec 21.

"Charles Phoenix Retro Holiday Show" Empress of China Ballroom, 838 Grant, SF; www.charlesphoenix.com. Wed/12, 8pm. $25. The retro pop-culture humorist shows slides and chats about the holidays.

"Cynic Cave" Cinecave (beneath Lost Weekend Video), 1034 Valencia, SF; facebook.com/cyniccave. $10. "Fresh Like Cadaver," stand-up comedy followed by a cult movie screening, Fri/14, 8pm. "Cynic Cave," stand-up with Red Scott, Leslie Small, Clare O’Kane, and more, Sat/15, 8pm.

"Diez Por Arriba" ODC Theater, 3153 17th St, SF; www.odctheater.org. Wed/12-Sat/15, 8pm; Sun/16, 3pm. $20-40. Yaelisa y Caminos Flamencos perform.

"D.R.U.N.K.S." Garage, 715 Bryant, SF; www.715bryant.org. Fri/14-Sat/15, 8pm. $10-20. BodiGram performs a dance-theater show (full title: "Dangerous Rebels Uncovering Nonsensical Knowledge Satirically.")

Lily Cai Dance Company Lily Cai Dance Studio, 301 Eighth St, SF; www.lilycaidance.org. Thu/13-Sat/15, 8pm; Sun/16, 3:30pm. $15. The Chinese modern dance company performs Dynasties Revisited and other works.

"Miracle at the Gas ‘N’ Gulp: A Fuelside Yuletide with Cora Values" StageWerx, 446 Valencia, SF; foulplaysf.com/cora. Dec 18-19, 8pm. $20. Songs and comedy with Cora Values.

"Nightcap: ODC Pilot Program #61" ODC Dance Commons, Studio B, 351 Shotwell, SF; www.odctheater.org. Sat/15-Sun/16, 8pm. $12. New dances by Jenni Bregman, David Schleiffers, Katharine Hawthorne, and more.

Paula Poundstone Palace of Fine Arts Theatre, 3301 Lyon, SF; www.palaceoffinearts.org. Sat/15, 8pm. $37.90. The comedian performs.

San Francisco Comedy College Purple Onion at Kells, 530 Jackson, SF; www.sfcomedycollege.com. $5-15; all shows ongoing. "Laughter Hour," Thu-Fri, 7pm. "Destini and Yonatan’s Stand-Up Rebellion," Thu, 8:30. "Comedy Bottle," Fri-Sat, 8:30pm. "Kells Comedy Saturday," Sat, 7pm. "New Talent Shows," Tue-Wed, 7. Also Larkspur Hotel, 524 Sutter, SF. "Rocket Salad," Sun, 7.

"San Francisco Magic Parlor" Chancellor Hotel Union Square, 433 Powell, SF; www.sfmagicparlor.com. Thu-Sat, 8pm. Ongoing. $40. Magic vignettes with conjurer and storyteller Walt Anthony.

"San Francisco One-Minute Play Festival" Thick House, 1695 18th St, SF; www.playwrightsfoundation.org. Sat/15-Sun/16, 8pm (also Sun/16, 3pm). $25. Micro plays by 40 Bay Area playwrights.

BAY AREA

"American Fad" Temescal Arts Center, 511 48th St, Oakl; www.magicjestertheater.com. Fri/14-Sat/15, 8pm. $10-15. "An absurdist romp through the American dream," in sketch comedy form, with Magic Jester Theater.

"A Down Home Christmas With Nell and Jim" Aurora Theatre Company, 2081 Addison, Berk; www.auroratheatre.org. Thu/13-Sat/15, Mon/17, and Dec 19-21, 7:30pm; Sun/16, 5pm. $28. Cabaret-style bluegrass concert featuring holiday tunes.

"The Marsh’s Second Annual Performance Holiday Bash" Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; www.themarsh.org. Sat/15, 8pm. $20-50. Storytelling and holiday fun (and cookies!) with Marsh performers. Bring a gift to donate to families at domestic violence shelter La Casa.

Music Listings

Andrew Lam

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December 11, 2012

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Since club life is unpredictable, it’s a good idea to call ahead or check the venue’s website to confirm bookings and hours. Prices are listed when provided to us. Visit www.sfbg.com/venue-guide for venue information. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

WEDNESDAY 12

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Astronautalis, Busdriver, Jel Elbo Room. 9pm, $14.

Big Long Now, Ghost Parade, Stab City, Light Thieves Hemlock Tavern. 8:30pm, $6.

Cosmic Suckerpunch, Golden Hearts, Illusions of Self Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $10.

Grouch and Eligh, Mistah F.A.B., PROF, DJ Fresh Regency Ballroom. 8pm, $22.

Horse Feathers, Frank Fairfield Independent. 8pm, $15.

Lee Huff vs Guido Johnny Foley’s Dueling Pianos. 9pm, free.

Keith Crossan Blues Showcase with Annie Sampson Biscuits and Blues. 8pm, $15.

JD McPherson, West Coast Ramblers Slim’s. 8pm, $21.

Terry Savastano Johnny Foley’s. 9pm, free.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Dink Dink Dink, Gaucho, Eric Garland’s Jazz Session Amnesia. 7pm, free.

Franc D’Ambrosio and Jeri Sager Rrazz Room. 8pm, $30-$40.

Gennaro’s Wax Trio 144 King Art Cafe, SF; www.144kingcafe.com. 6-9pm, $10.

Ricardo Scales Top of the Mark, 999 California, SF; www.topofthemark.com. 6:30pm, $5.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

James Houlahan Plough and Stars. 9pm.

"Night of Percussion" El Rio. 10pm. With Falkortet, William Winant Percussion Group.

Al Stewart Yoshi’s SF. 8pm, $22.

Timba Dance Party Bissap Baobab, 3372 19th St, SF; www.bissapbaobab.com. 10pm, $5. With DJ Walt Diggz.

DANCE CLUBS

Booty Call Q-Bar, 456 Castro, SF; www.bootycallwednesdays.com. 9pm. Juanita MORE! and Joshua J host this dance party.

Coo-Yah! Slate Bar, 2925 16th St, SF; www.slate-sf.com. 10pm, free. With Vinyl Ambassador, DJ Silverback, DJs Green B and Daneekah.

Hardcore Humpday Happy Hour RKRL, 52 Sixth St, SF; (415) 658-5506. 6pm, $3.

Martini Lounge John Colins, 138 Minna, SF; www.johncolins.com. 7pm. With DJ Mark Divita.

THURSDAY 13

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP.

Anthem Johnny Foley’s. 9pm, free.

Robin Applewood, Sol Tevel, La Gente Brick and Mortar Music Hall. 9pm, $10-$13.

Beachwood Sparks Chapel, 777 Valencia, SF; www.thechapelsf.com. 8:30pm, $12-$15.

Kim Boekbinder, Artemis DNA Lounge. 9pm, $10.

Sam Chase and the Functional Alcoholics, Sleeping Giant Cafe Du Nord. 8:30pm, $10-$12.

Mark Eitzel and Paula Frazer Lucky Horseshoe, 453 Cortland, SF; www.luckyhorseshoebar.com. 9pm, free.

Exquisite Corps, Warbler, Ash Thursday Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $8.

Jenni and the Jerks, Slippery Slope, Panhandlers Thee Parkside. 9pm, $5.

Lamb of God, In Flames, Hellyeah, Sylosis Regency Ballroom. 7pm, $42.

MOFO Party Band Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $15.

Willy Moon, popscene DJs Rickshaw Stop. 10pm, $13-$15.

Oceanography, Swells, Wilding Hemlock Tavern. 8:30pm, $6.

Passenger, Kate Earl Slim’s. 9pm, $15.

"Thrill Jockey Records 20th Anniversary Show" Independent. 8pm, $18. With Wooden Shjips, Liturgy, Trans Am, Barn Owl, Man Forever, Eternal Tapestry.

12th Planet, Borgore, Krewella, Two Fresh Regency Ballroom. 8pm, $35-$45.

Greg Zema vs Lee Huff Johnny Foley’s Dueling Pianos. 9pm, free.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Franc D’Ambrosio and Jeri Sager Rrazz Room. 8pm, $30-$40.

SF Jazz Hotplate Series Amnesia. 9pm.

Stompy Jones Top of the Mark, 999 California, SF; www.topofthemark.com. 7:30pm, $10.

Natasha Miller’s Holiday Concert Yoshi’s SF. 8pm, $20.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Fiesta Flamenca Bissap Baobab, 3372 19th St, SF; www.bissapbaobab.com. 6pm, $15.

Kentucky Twisters Atlas Cafe, 3049 20 St, SF; www.atlascafe.net. 8-10pm, free.

Shannon Ceili Band Plough and Stars. 9pm.

Twang! Honky Tonk Fiddler’s Green, 1330 Columbus, SF; www.twanghonkytonk.com. 5pm. Live country music.

DANCE CLUBS

Afrolicious Elbo Room. 9:30pm, $5-$7. With DJ-host Pleasuremaker spins Afrobeat, Tropicália, electro, samba, and funk.

All 80s Thursday Cat Club. 9pm, $6 (free before 9:30pm). The best of ’80s mainstream and underground.

Base: Holiday Payback with Cassy Vessel, 85 Campton Place, SF; www.vesselsf.com. 10pm, $10.

Darling Nikki Slate Bar, 2925 16th St, SF; www.slate-sf.com. 9pm, free. Queer dance party.

First Base Rebel, 1760 Market, SF; Facebook: Rebel. 10pm, $3. Old school breaks, disco house, and electro breaks with DJ Loryn, Becky Knox, and guests.

Lions, Tigers, and Queers Underground SF. 10pm-2am, $3. Indie, Electro, and House dance party with resident DJ Becky Knox and special guests.

Ritual Dubstep Temple. 10pm-3am, $5. Trap and bass.

Tropicana Madrone Art Bar. 9pm, free. Salsa, cumbia, reggaeton, and more with DJs Don Bustamante, Apocolypto, Sr. Saen, Santero, and Mr. E.

FRIDAY 14

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Aquabats, Suburban Legends, Kepi Ghoulie Slim’s. 8pm, $19-$20.

Big Blue Soul Revue Giordano Bros., 303 Columbus, SF; (415) 397-2767. 9pm, free.

Case Studies, Bolas, David Enos Hemlock Tavern. 9:30pm, $7.

Chris Robinson Brotherhood Great American Music Hall. 9pm, $31.

George Clinton and Parliment Funkadelic Yoshi’s SF. 8pm, $45; 10:30pm, $45.

"Concert to Ban Fracking in California" Inner Mission, 2050 Bryant, SF; bit.ly/frackingconcert. 8pm, $15. With Whiskerman, Shake Your Peace!

Dragon Smoke, William Magid Band Independent. 9pm, $30.

Derick Hughes with Keith Crossan Band Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $20.

Limbeck, Reubens Accomplice, Trapper Schoepp and the Shades Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $12.

Night Beats, Mallard, Cool Ghouls, Woolen Men Brick and Mortar Music Hall. 9pm, $5-$8.

Graham Parker and the Rumour Fillmore. 8pm, $35.

Poor Moon, Pure Bathing Culture, Lia Rose Rickshaw Stop. 9pm, $10-$12.

"Star 103 Jingle Bell" with Adam Lambert, One Republic Regency Ballroom. 8pm, $42.50-$59.50.

Tall Shadows Johnny Foley’s. 9pm, free.

Rags Tuttle, Greg Zema, Lee Huff Johnny Foley’s Dueling Pianos. 9pm, free.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Audium 1616 Bush, SF; www.audium.org. 8:30pm, $20. Theater of sound-sculptured space.

Black Market Jazz Orchestra Top of the Mark, 999 California, SF; www.topofthemark.com. 9pm, $10.

Franc D’Ambrosio and Jeri Sager Rrazz Room. 8pm, $30-$40.

Erik Jekabson Red Poppy Arthouse. 8pm, $15.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Forro Brazuca Elbo Room. 10pm, $10.

Silver Threads, Utmost Something, Fiver Brown’s Good Sinners Plough and Stars. 9pm, $6-$10.

DANCE CLUBS

Heartbeat John Collins, 138 Minna,SF; www.johncolins.com. 9pm. Hip-hop, R&B, reggae, soul, and dancehall.

Indie Slash Amnesia. 10pm. With DJ Danny White.

Joe Lookout, 3600 16th St.,SF; www.lookoutsf.com. 9pm. Eight rotating DJs, shirt-off drink specials.

Old School JAMZ El Rio. 9pm. Fruit Stand DJs spinning old school funk, hip-hop, and R&B.

Paris to Dakar Little Baobab, 3388 19th St, SF; (415) 643-3558. 10pm, $5. Afro and world music with rotating DJs including Stepwise, Steve, Claude, Santero, and Elembe.

Roger Sanchez Vessel, 85 Campton Place, SF; www.vesselsf.com. 10pm, $15.

SATURDAY 15

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Bay Area Heat Johnny Foley’s. 9pm, free.

Chris Robinson Brotherhood Great American Music Hall. 9pm, $31.

George Clinton and Parliment Funkadelic Yoshi’s SF. 8pm, $45; 10:30pm, $45.

Family Folk Explosion, Ash Reiter, Fpodbpod Cafe Du Nord. 8:30pm, $10.

Fast Times Top of the Mark, 999 California, SF; www.topofthemark.com. 8pm, free.

Hottub, Frail, Breakdown Valentine Rickshaw Stop. 9pm, $15.

Lee Huff, Greg Zema, Randy Johnny Foley’s Dueling Pianos. 9pm, free.

Motet, DJ K-Os Independent. 9pm, $25.

Nerv, Wots, Divvys, Basements El Rio. 10pm, $7.

Parov Stelar Trio Regency Ballroom. 9pm, $27.

Religious Girls, Free Moral Agents, Hawk Jones Hemlock Tavern. 9:30pm, $7.

Rock Soup Ramblers Riptide. 9:30pm, free.

Scene of Action, Chaw, Abatis Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $10.

Sista Monica Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $22.

Strong Like Bull, Oceanroyal, Sunrunners, Clowncar Slim’s. 8:30pm, $13.

Supersuckers, Flexx Bronco, Atom AgeThee Parkside. 9pm, $15.

"’Twas the Last Night of Hanukkah" Brick and Mortar Music Hall. 9pm, $15-$18. With Sway Machinery, Luther Dickinson, Thao, Ethan Miller, Zach Rogue, and more.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Audium 1616 Bush, SF; www.audium.org. 8:30pm, $20. Theater of sound-sculptured space.

Clairdee Rrazz Room. 7pm.

Franc D’Ambrosio and Jeri Sager Rrazz Room. 9pm, $30-$40.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Ben Brown, Aaron Ford, Kara Goslin Plough and Stars. 9pm.

Tango No. 9 Red Poppy Art House. 8pm, $12-$20.

Craig Ventresco and Meredith Axelrod Atlas Cafe, 3049 20 St, SF; www.atlascafe.net. 4-6pm, free.

Zouk and Kozumba, DJ RKnZ Bissap Baobab, 3372 19th St, SF; www.bissapbaobab.com. 9pm, $5-$10.

DANCE CLUBS

Bootie SF: Santacon After-Party DNA Lounge. 9pm, $10-$15. Mashups. Wear a Santa hat, get a free CD.

Fringe Madrone Art Bar. 9pm, $5. Indie music video dance party with DJ Blondie K and subOctave.

OK Hole Amnesia. 9pm.

Paris to Dakar Little Baobab, 3388 19th St, SF; (415) 643-3558. 10pm, $5. Afro and world music with rotating DJs.

Radio Franco Bissap, 3372 19th St, SF; (415) 826 9287. 6 pm. Rock, Chanson Francaise, Blues. Senegalese food and live music.

Saturday Night Soul Party Elbo Room. 10pm, $5-$10.

Scotty Boy Vessel, 85 Campton Place, SF; www.vesselsf.com. 10pm, $20-$30.

Smiths Party Slate Bar, 2925 16th St, SF; www.slate-sf.com. 10pm, $5. Sounds of the Smiths, Morrissey, the Cure, and New Order.

Sultan and Ned Shepard Ruby Skye. 9pm, $25.

Wild Nights Kok BarSF, 1225 Folsom, SF; www.kokbarsf.com. 9pm, $3. With DJ Frank Wild.

SUNDAY 16

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Annie Girl and the Flight, Cave Clove, Eight Belles Brick and Mortar Music Hall. 9pm, $5-$8.

Chris Robinson Brotherhood Great American Music Hall. 9pm, $31.

Mallard, Spyrals, Drinking Flowers, Adult Books Thee Parkside. 8pm, $7.

Rolando Morales Biscuits and Blues. 7 and 9pm, $15.

"Norton Records Benefit" Elbo Room. 2-7:15pm, $7-$10. With Overwhelming Colorfast, Chuckleberries, Tomorrowmen, Dirty Robbers, Rue ’66.

Sanguis Imperem, Kommandant, Black Fucking Cancer, Pale Chaline, Minenwerfer DNA Lounge. 8pm, $13.

Terry Savastano Johnny Foley’s. 9pm, free.

White Buffalo, Arann Harris and the Farm Band Slim’s. 8pm, $15.

Your Heart Breaks, Nana Grizol, Dave End, Quiet Coyote Hemlock Tavern. 6pm, $7.

Greg Zema vs Lee Huff Johnny Foley’s Dueling Pianos. 9pm, free.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Clairdee Rrazz Room. 3 and 7pm.

Gospel Gators of San Francisco State Yoshi’s SF. 7 and 9pm, $25.

Jackie Ryan Bliss Bar, 4026 24th St, SF; www.blissbarsf.com. 4:30pm, $10.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Brazilian and Beyond Bissap Baobab, 3372 19th St, SF; www.bissapbaobab.com. 6:30pm, free.

Don DiLego Hotel Utah. 9pm.

Hillbilly Swing with B Stars Amnesia. 9pm, $7.

Darcy Noonan, Richard Mandel, Jack Gilder Plough and Stars. 9pm.

Riffat Sultana Red Poppy Art House. 7pm, $10-$15.

DANCE CLUBS

Beats for Brunch Thee Parkside. 11am, free. With Chef Josie and DJ Matt Haze.

Dub Mission Elbo Room. 9pm, $6. Dub, roots, and classic dancehall with DJ Sep, Vinnie Esparza, Dubsworth and Tapa (live).

Hero Christmas Tea Dance: Tony Moran, Liam Keegan Ruby Skye. 6pm-midnight, $20.

Jock Lookout, 3600 16th St, SF; www.lookoutsf.com. 3pm, $2.

MONDAY 17

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Dee Dee and Brandon play songs from Dum Dum Girls and Crocodiles Rickshaw Stop. 8pm, $15.

Mighty Diamonds, Yellow Wall Dub Squad, Melodians Independent. 9pm, $20.

Odd Nosdam, Modern Maler, Mono/Poly, Monbon, CYPHA4, Ruff Draft Elbo Room. 9pm, $8.

Terry Savastano Johnny Foley’s. 9pm, free.

Trash Talk, Mellowhype, Antwon DNA Lounge. 9pm, $15.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Fat Opie Osteria, 3277 Sacramento, SF; www.osteriasf.com. 7pm, free.

DANCE CLUBS

Crazy Mondays Beauty Bar, 2299 Mission, SF; www.thebeautybar.com. 10pm, free. Hip-hop and other stuff.

Death Guide DNA Lounge. 9:30pm, $3-$5.

M.O.M. Madrone Art Bar. 6pm, free. DJs Timoteo Gigante, Gordo Cabeza, and Chris Phlek playing all Motown every Monday.

Soul Cafe John Colins Lounge, 138 Minna, SF; www.johncolins.com. 9pm. R&B, Hip-Hop, Neosoul, reggae, dancehall, and more with DJ Jerry Ross.

Vibes’N’Stuff El Amigo Bar, 3355 Mission, SF; (415) 852-0092. 10pm, free. Conscious jazz and hip-hop with DJs Luce Lucy, Vinnie Esparza, and more.

TUESDAY 18

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Big Black Delta Brick and Mortar Music Hall. 9pm, $9-$12.

El Vez Mex-mas Independent. 8pm, $17.

Kinky Friedman, Brian Molar Cafe Du Nord. 8pm, $25.

Jared Griffin, Avi Vinocur, Kelly McFarling Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $8.

Howell Devine Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $15.

Live Evil, Bite, Modern Kicks, DJ Love Gun Knockout. 9:30pm, $6.

Major Powers and the Lo-Fi Symphony Amnesia. 9pm.

Papi vs Jason Marion Johnny Foley’s Dueling Pianos. 9pm, free.

Stan Erhart Band Johnny Foley’s. 9pm, free.

Station and the Monster, 100%, Ugly Winner Hemlock Tavern. 8:30pm, $6.

Sun O))) Mezzanine. 9pm.

Sweatlodge, Big Drag, Schande, Night Call El Rio. 8pm, $5.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Ferenc Nemeth Triumph Band Yoshi’s SF. 8pm, $25.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Autumn Rhodes Plough and Stars. 9pm.

DANCE CLUBS

Brazilian Wax: Fat Tuesdays Elbo Room. 9pm, $7.

On the Cheap Listings

Andrew Lam

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December 11, 2012

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WEDNESDAY 12

The Lion and the Lamb FIFTY24SF Gallery, 218 Fillmore, SF. www.fifty24sf.com. Through Feb 12. Opening reception: 6:30-10pm, free. Partnering with chic streetwear store Upper Playground, artist Sam Flores will be debuting his first solo presentation in more than three years entitled "The Lion and the Lamb." The work presented is a thorough exploration of the duality of the relationship between good and evil via the medium of oil paintings, pen and ink drawings, and sculptures.

THURSDAY 13

I See Beauty in this Life Curator’s Walkthrough California Historical Society, 678 Mission, SF. (415) 357-1848, iseebeautycurator.eventbrite.com. 5pm, 5:45pm, 6:30pm, free–$5. Jump into 100 years of pictures of rural California with writer and photographer Lisa M. Hamilton’s as your tour guide, in her new exhibit entitled "I See Beauty in this Life." For the last two years, Hamilton has been chronicling stories of rural communities as apart of work "Real Rural" and tonight some of that work will be on display at the California Historical Society.

Ditched a.Muse Gallery, 614 Alabama, SF. (415) 279-6281, www.yourmusegallery.com. Through Jan 6. Opening reception: 6:30-9pm, free. Hap Leonard’s latest photo exhibit takes a humorous approach to our city’s urban landscape. "Ditched" is a series of photographs of colorful abandoned couches set in various San Franciscan allies and streets.

FRIDAY 14

Soldering, Lapidary, and Enameling Demonstration Silvera Jewelry School, 1105 Virginia, Berk. (510) 868-4908, www.silverajewelry.com. 1-8pm, free. Interested in learning to work with soldering, lapidary, enameling, and stone cutting? Then you won’t want to miss this event at the North Berkeley Silvera Jewelry School.

Animal Dance Party Harlot, 46 Minna, SF. wildkingdom-es2.eventbrite.com. 9pm-3am, $5-10. If the name of this event doesn’t immediately make you want to burst out of your seat and start dancing like nobody’s watching, then something must be wrong you. Just kidding: we’ll still love you either way. Experience DJs Traviswild and Girls and Boomboxes ignite electro mayhem at the Harlot Club. Oh, and nimal attire is strongly encouraged.

SATURDAY 15

Steppe Warriors Shooting Gallery, 839 Larkin, SF. www.shootinggallerysf.com. Through Jan 5. Opening reception: 7-11pm, free. Did you know that Genghis Khan’s real name is Chinggis Khan? Genghis Khan is the Persian version of the Mongolian King’s name. And the horsemen of this legendary historical player are the source of inspiration for Zaya’s upcoming solo show entitled "Steppe Warriors" which will feature 12 ink and watercolor paintings.

Fabricators Jack Fischer Gallery, 49 Geary Suite 418, SF. www.jackfischergallery.com. 3-5pm, free. This new show is the result of a collaboration among five Creativity Explored artists and students from the California College of the Arts’ Fabricators ENGAGE class which is taught by art critic, writer, educator and curator Glen Helfand. Holiday gifts, baked goods, and art pieces will also be on sale at this exhibit.

Mercado de Cambio 2940 16t St. #301, SF. (415) 863-6306, www.poormagazine.org. 3-7pm, free. POOR Magazine will throwing the fourth edition of its annual Mercado de Cambio/The Po Sto’ Holiday Art party, billed as a "powerful people-led collaboration of micro-business, art, performance, and community." Sounds like the perfect holiday party for the Mission.

Poetry Reading Vi Gallery, Embarcadero Center 4, Lobby Level, 100 Drumm, SF. www.vi-gallery.com. 4-6pm, free. The Embarcadero Center isn’t the first place most people think of when asked where’s the best place in SF for a poetry reading. Nevertheless this Saturday writers Richard Hack and Mel C. Thompson will be on hand to dish out some of their own poetry.

In One Hand a Ghost, the Other an Atom White Walls, 835 Larkin, SF. www.whitewallssf.com. Through Jan 5. Opening reception: 6-9pm. Australian artist New2’s curiously named exhibit will showcase between 16 and 24 pieces of large-scale artwork completely made from paper — specifically, hand-cut layered paper collages.

SUNDAY 16

Santa Skivvies Run The Lookout, 3600 16th St., SF. www.lookoutsf.com. 1pm, free to watch, $35 to run. The only thing better than running through the streets half-naked is running through the streets half-naked for a good cause. Come watch dozens of barely clothed Santas romp around the Castro for the 2012 Santa Skivvies run, whose proceeds will go to benefit the SF AIDS Foundation.

TUESDAY 18

Sketch Tuesdays 111 Minna Gallery, 111 Minna, SF. www.111minnagallery.com. 6pm, free. On the third Tuesday of every month about 20 artists gather at this swanky SOMA gallery to fabricate art on a small scale. And if you’re a patron of the arts you’ll be able to purchase these freshly made works.

Dishing 2012

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December 11, 2012

12

virginia@bayguardian.com

APPETITE The past year saw a number of openings I hope will be around for years to come — here is my list, in order, of my favorites. As ever, my goal is to include more affordable spots alongside midrange or upscale openings, considering range and uniqueness. It being December, I cannot strictly cover the calendar year so, with each choice open at least two months, the opening date range goes back to October 2011 for a full year.

1. AQ

The one California restaurant nominated for Best New Restaurant in the US at this year’s James Beard Awards, AQ is my top selection for “the whole package.” While I find the food at the next two restaurants listed below equally inspiring, AQ combines food from talented young chef Mark Liberman, reinvented in delightfully surprising ways (think flavors of a pastrami sandwich turned on its head as shaved lamb heart “pastrami” with zucchini bread and house Thousand Island dressing), alongside an inventive cocktail list and accomplished bar staff. I’m still dreaming of this summer’s Maeklong Market Cocktail with a base of peanut-infused mekhong — a sugar cane, molasses, and rice-based Thai spirit — creamy with coconut milk, lime and kaffir lime leaves. As if this weren’t enough, the wine list shines and decor is the crowning touch in a two-level space with sexy downstairs lounge for private parties, plus greenery, glassware, and a bar top that changes with the season. When I’m asked (constantly) where to go by locals and visitors, AQ easily fits the bill for delicious, forward-thinking cuisine with warm service: a destination for both food and drink, with thoughtful attention to the environs.

1085 Mission, SF. (415) 341-9000, www.aq-sf.com

2. STATE BIRD PROVISIONS

Since Bon Appetit named State Bird Provisions best new restaurant in America this year, none of us can get a reservation in the small, modest space with pegboard and stone walls (like dining in a funky family garage). What makes State Bird so special, besides efficient, engaging service and husband-wife team Stuart Brioza and Nicole Krasinski’s genuine welcome (they often greet diners themselves as they pass by the kitchen in the entrance), is that it’s something truly different. Affordable, unique, and imaginative plates flowing out dim sum-style on carts and trays, ever playful and satisfying — a prime example of what makes SF’s dining scene so exciting right now.

1529 Fillmore, SF. (415) 795-1272, www.statebirdsf.com

3. RICH TABLE

From another husband-wife duo, Evan and Sarah Rich’s Rich Table could easily be number one for food alongside State Bird and AQ. All three restaurants boast an uncommon vision in their cooking — Rich Table’s is one of an upscale nature in comfort food garb. Presentation can be exquisite, but the dishes gratify and assuage rather than feel fussy. Getting past the (worthy) din about those sardine-laced potato chips to start, pastas are unexpectedly one of the restaurant’s highlights, a duck lasagne layered with braised duck, light béchamel, and tart Santa Rosa plums, easily standing out as one of the best dishes of the year. Though short and sweet, the 4-5 cocktails on offer (now being updated by brand new bar manager Jason “Buffalo” LoGrasso from Cotogna) are clean, simple-yet-vivid stars in their own right.

199 Gough, SF. (415) 355-9085, www.richtablesf.com

4. ICE CREAM BAR

A neighborhood diner and soda fountain, Ice Cream Bar deserves accolades for bringing us the kind of soda fountain menu unmatched in the country, yet sure to be copied. Recipes and practices date back to the 1800s with modern sensibility, showcased in drinks like the Bonne Vie No. 2, a citrus-garden delight of basil leaves, basil ice cream, and pink grapefruit, its sour-fresh qualities glorified with citric acid. There are boozy fountain drinks (like a perfect Angostura Phosphate), ice cream (the tart cherry remains my favorite), and darn good sandwiches (egg salad and tuna) on house brioche, with the soda fountain manned by gifted, friendly soda jerks who live and breathe the history of the craft.

815 Cole, SF. (415) 742-4932, www.theicecreambarsf.com

5. PLÄJ SCANDINAVIAN RESTAURANT AND BAR

With the food world in Scandinavian mode the last few years (the cuisine to take over where the El Bulli world of Spain ruled for so long), it’s a shame we haven’t had much Scandinavian food to speak of here, particularly of the nouveau wave à la Fäviken or Noma. Pläj (pronounced “play”) is gourmet-traditional Scandinavian fare with modern sensibilities from chef-owner Roberth Sundell, a Stockholm native. In the mellow Inn at the Opera, it’s a respite of a dinner with sincere service, shining particularly bright with seafood in the menu’s Fjord section. Herring trios, Swedish meatballs, Norwegian salmon belly gravlax and rounds of aquavit… I’ve been waiting for this one and hope it opens the door for more.

333 Fulton, SF. (415) 294-8925, www.plajrestaurant.com

6. CRAFTSMAN AND WOLVES

Don’t just call it a bakery. Craftsman & Wolves is a heightened sort of cafe where baked goods push boundaries and desserts are works of art. William Werner’s artistic eats, alongside sandwiches and salads, Sightglass Coffee, Naivetea, and dreamy drinking caramel made with salted butter, ensure this is an extraordinary addition to the SF food scene, standing apart from other cafes. Skylights, brick and clean lines make for a modern cafe setting, while items like the Rebel Within, an herb, cheese, sausage-studded muffin with a sous vide egg hidden inside, are already cult classics.

746 Valencia, SF. (415) 913-7713, www.craftsman-wolves.com

7. AND 8. TIE: SARU SUSHI AND ELEPHANT SUSHI

This sushi duo isn’t perfect, nor will either be the best sushi meal of your life. But in their infancy, they both represent the ideal neighborhood sushi outposts: friendly, laid back, almost hip, with spanking fresh fish and consistently interesting maki, nigiri, sashimi, tasting spoons (at Saru), and sizzling mango seabass (at Elephant). With a glass of sake, try firm-yet-silky squid in yuzu juice at Saru or bananas draped beautifully over Elephant’s Boom Box roll with scallop, avocado, and cucumber. Those lucky souls who live near either restaurant have themselves exemplary neighborhood sushi bars at which to unwind.

Saru: 3856 24th St., SF. (415) 440-4510

Elephant: 1916 Hyde, SF. (415) 440-1905, www.elephantsushi.com

9. MISSION BOWLING CLUB

Mission Bowling Club (MBC) is significant: until now no bowling alley served food this good. Hipster, even upscale for a bowling alley, the open, industrial space, large front patio, and downstairs and upstairs dining rooms (the latter oversees the action) add up to a striking setting for Anthony Myint — he of Mission Chinese Food and Mission St. Food, no less — to unleash his beloved Mission Burger, a rich, granulated patty, lathered in caper aioli. Entrees like blackened salmon on a potato latke marked by salmon roe, cucumber, and horseradish are listed alongside a juicy sausage corn dog dipped in habanero crema. Bowling never tasted this sublime.

3176 17th St., SF. (415) 863-2695, www.missionbowlingclub.com

10. FUSEBOX

Despite being open only three days a week for lunch, with just-added Saturday night dinner service (reserve ahead!), FuseBOX is my favorite East Bay addition this year because of its unique approach to Asian cuisine. Such limited hours in a remote West Oakland block makes it a meal you have to work to get to, but the fusion of Korean and izakaya-style Japanese from Sunhui and Ellen Sebastian Chang is a welcoming, tiny haven (with large front patio) for creative Asian fare often in bite-size format allowing ample tasting. There are rotating robata bites or kimchee from bok choy to kale, interesting panchan/banchan (mini-dishes often accompanying a Korean meal), hamachi tartare topped with lime caviar, Tokyo po boys, and an unforgettable bacon mochi. And who else offers kimchee and coffee service with Korean beignets?

2311A Magnolia, Oakl., (510) 444-3100, www.fuseboxoakland.com

HONORABLE MENTION

Gioia Pizzeria (2240 Polk, SF. (415) 359-0971, www.gioiapizzeria.com) for bringing Berkeley’s best NY pizza to SF; CatHead’s BBQ (1665 Folsom, SF. (415) 861-4242, www.catheadbbq.com) for some of the better BBQ in our city (“real deal” Southern BBQ being difficult to come by outside of the South); Abbott’s Cellar (742 Valencia, SF. (415) 626-8700, www.abbotscellar.com) for one of the best beer menus anywhere and elevated food to accompany it in a sleek-rustic dining room; Orexi (243 West Portal, SF. (415) 664-6739, www.orexisf.com) for daring to bring satisfying Greek food to our Greek-deficient dining scene; St. Vincent (1270 Valencia, SF. (415) 285-1200, www.stvincentsf.com) for a wine and beer geek’s dream menu partnered with forward-thinking interpretations of regional American dishes; Machka (584 Washington, SF. (415) 391-8228, www.machkasf.com) for a chic take on Turkish food.

Subscribe to Virgina’s twice-monthly newsletter, The Perfect Spot, www.theperfectspotsf.com

San Francisco’s slippery slope is chafing

Sasha Cuttler

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December 6, 2012

71

San Francisco’s slippery slope is chafing

By Nato Green

This week, the San Francisco Board of Supervisors passed a ban on public nudity on a party line vote. By “party line,” I mean the Supes voting against nudity are the ones who never go to parties with lines of coke or conga lines. I’m not saying every single one of the progressive supervisors could be found in the naked suntan lotion massage yurt at Burning Man, just that it’s conceivable.

The ban was proposed by District 8 Supervisor Scott Wiener, and supported by the “moderates,” who are Very Serious about sensible governance. First of all, anyone who ever made fun of Supervisor Eric Mar’s happy meal ban owes him an apology. Second, obviously all other problems in the City have been solved, which has freed up the Supes to kowtow to the whims of the gayeoisie.

People are worried about the effects of aggressive nudity on children, but fortunately we’ve gentrified all the families out of the City. Now we’ll have to export nudists to Solano County if we want kids subjected to them. At any rate, during a nippy San Francisco winter it’s vitally important for children to learn about shrinkage.

Nudity doesn’t necessarily harm children. I grew up in San Francisco. In the ’70s. Naked people were everywhere, bare and unshaven. I didn’t see a fully-clothed adult until I was nine. I didn’t see nakedness as sexual, so much as simply covered in naked. Partly because then, as now, the specific naked people were not easy on the eyes. Not to promote normative body images, but if Christina Hendricks and Ryan Gosling showed up naked, the ensuing celebration by all sexualities would make the Giants Victory Parade look like a tupperware party.

Worst of all, nudity was banned in the Castro. If there’s one neighborhood that arguably draws its spirit from the brandishing of genitalia, it’s the Castro. Harvey Milk did not march so his grandchildren could sequester the penis. It’s almost as if the City wanted to abolish hippies sitting on the sidewalk in the Haight-Ashbury. (Damn you, sit/lie.)

If we’re going to ban sitting on the sidewalk in the Haight and nudity in the Castro, here are more options for possible legislation to achieve the goal of draining our neighborhoods of their distinguishing features.

We should also ban:

Bernal Heights—dykes with dogs.
Mission—fixed-gear bicycles, ironic mustaches, and salvadoreños.
Marina—entitlement.
Richmond—Irish pubs with actual Irish people.
Noe Valley—strollers and handmade baby food.
Western Addition—Black people. Whoops. Too late.

Comedian Nato Green (writer for “Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell” on FX) headlines the San Francisco Punchline December 19 and 20. Tweet him @natogreen

Dirty jokes

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December 6, 2012

0

TRASH It has been noted that most people didn’t experience “the Sixties” until the Seventies, at least in terms of all that Free Love and chemical entertainment. But even at the latter decade’s most indulgent junctures, many people’s minds remained stuck in the Fifties — sniggering about the very idea of sex, using terms like “boobies,” insisting women be gorgeous idiots and men perma-adolescent clods.

The 1970s may have begun with 1971’s Carnal Knowledge — a bitter goodbye to the fucked-up-edness of pre-Sexual Revolution life — but the ’80s began with 1982’s Porky’s, which signaled a return to sex as dirty joke when it wasn’t harrowing in a vagina-dentata way (see: 1987’s Fatal Attraction). The apex and nadir of anything-goes Me Decade public sexual expression was the existence of Al Goldstein’s zine Screw, which pushed the frontiers of the new permissiveness while indulging infantile humor and fearful-hostile misogyny.

The most puerile if also most harmless expression of this was in comedic porn movies, which set a juvenile Borscht Belt tenor early on with Deep Throat (1972) and seldom aimed any higher thereafter. This ka-boom-cha! humor dominated the never-ending cycle of movie spoofs that probably started with 1970 softcore jungle send-up Trader Hornee, but they also spawned a short-lived subgenre that ever-adventurous Joel Shepard of Yerba Buena Center for the Arts is celebrating with a retrospective this month. Reviving three features from our nation’s bicentennial year of 1976, “Honk If You’re Horny: Retro Sex Musicals” definitely proves that if you were born too late for that era, you missed some very, very strange experiences.

Where today’s trend toward “darker” versions of fairy tales on the big and small screen — Grimm, all those Snow Whites, the upcoming Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters — perhaps indicates how childish adult tastes have grown, in the Seventies those fables were used and abused to measure just how far from innocence we’d come. As early as 1963, no less than Herschell Gordon Lewis was presiding over “nudie-cutie” Goldilocks and the Three Bares, after which followed The Long Swift Sword of Siegfried (1971), the same year’s The Erotic Adventures of Pinocchio (“It’s Not His Nose That Grows!”), and so forth. But the zenith, such as it is, of this trend was YBCA series kickoff Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy (1976), whose opening credits feature the unique attribution “Underwater Nude Volleyball sequences shot by …”

In director Bud Townsend and scenarist-composer Bucky Searles’ very free adaptation of Lewis Carroll, Alice (Playboy centerfold and future Jackie Chan co-star Kristine DeBell, making her film debut) is a repressed librarian led down a rabbit hole of sexual exploration and liberation. Before returning to the real world (and real delivery-guy cock), she’s given a tongue bath by creatures whose costumes anticipate furry fandom; enjoys good vibrations from a talking rock; fellates the Mad Hatter; and watches unisex couple Tweedledee and Tweedledum 69 each other (what else are they going to do?) One doesn’t remember stripping lesbian nurses in the original, or topless slo-mo horseback riding. The women dance like Vegas showgirls and the men seem kinda queeny; don’t even ask about the “songs.” Nonetheless this cheap cheesefest was picked up for release by 20th Century Fox, which cut it to an R and made a small mint.

Ergo it is perhaps not that surprising that YBCA’s second feature, 1976’s The First Nudie Musical, got its own mainstream release from Paramount, tacky and horribly dated as it is. Made just before star Cindy Williams began Laverne and Shirley (though after she’d appeared in 1973’s American Graffiti and on Happy Days with Ron Howard, who does a cameo here), this wheezing yokfest has her as secretary to a porn producer (Stephen Nathan). It’s his big idea to counter flagging box office by shooting a porno musical, though that effort is nearly derailed by his being forced to put a studio boss’ idiot son (writer and co-director Bruce Kimmel) behind the camera. The kind of unfunny that for 97 minutes may make you want to kill yourself, Nudie duly has some full-frontal shots and a not-bad dancing dildos number. Otherwise — oy.

Last and possibly least even in this context is 1976’s Let My Puppets Come, one of those films that must be witnessed just to confirm that it exists — no matter how much you may regret doing so afterward. Late Bronx-bred Deep Throat auteur Gerard Damiano made some of the era’s most famous and most interesting porn features (usually not the same ones), but here he indulged a self-parodic whim by satirizing his own crazy career in singing, dancing, fucking felt ersatz-Muppet form.

Puppets‘ protagonists are a group of schmoes indebted to the mob and forced to make a porno to pay it off. (In the 2005 documentary Inside Deep Throat, the director alluded to his erstwhile mob benefactors-bosses while his still-fearful wife keeps vehemently trying to shush him in the background.) Their resulting masterpiece stars the likes of “Anthony Quimm” and “Clitorus Leachman,” features a bit of make-believe bestiality (a none-too-subtle reference to Throat star Linda Lovelace’s canine thrill reel), has fake commercials (vaginal deodorant, etc.), and a cameo by Al Goldstein himself.

Evidently Damiano’s backers didn’t appreciate the joke, since the film was released at just 40-odd minutes’ length, with most of its songs cut. But Shepard promises an ultra-rare screening of the full, intended hour-and-a quarter edit. Swallow at your own risk. *

“HONK IF YOU’RE HORNY: RETRO SEX MUSICALS”

Thu/6, Dec. 13, and 20, 7:30pm, $8-$10

Yerba Buena Center for the Arts

701 Mission, SF

www.ybca.org

Free the free

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December 6, 2012

2

VISUAL ART It starts with the streets. Walls, the texture of walls, rough and colored in swirls of graffiti letters. Walls you feel you could reach out and touch their cold and grit. Establishing shots — the streets of San Francisco in the dot-com era. The photos are of their times: an unattended shopping cart in the streets appears as early as page three. Soon follows the spray-painted legend, “Don’t let the good times fool you.”

The pictures are inscrutable, their sequence seemingly random. Yet other than the gnomic title (Friendship Between Artists is an Equation of Love and Survival), the only text in Xara Thustra’s self-published new book’s 500 pages is a brief intro from the author insisting that the book is meant to be read from left to right, from top and bottom in the order the photos appear. There are no captions or prompts to lead the viewer. It is the mute gravity of the photos that pulls you in. What is happening here? It’s like finding a box of photos on a trash pile in the Mission — old furniture, clothes out on the curb, a pile of books and CDs. Why is all this stuff in the trash? Did the owners die? Or get evicted? Photos of strangers. You go from one photo to the next and the outline of a missing life starts to appear. What is happening here?

The action moves in and out of the streets, cinematic — the interiors dark, claustrophobic. The streets provide narration. Everything is spray painted. Demand Community Control. Everything bright, everything clean. Everything they build be like fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Familiar everyday locations have become enlisted as battlegrounds. At the Dolores Park tennis courts, someone has hung a screen on the fence, painted so that it reads “Sink the Ship” in shimmery, see-through letters. A subliminal message to the tennis players visible on the other side? Or a secret signal to an unseen underground army?

Cut to the interior. Some dim locations start to become recognizable: a performance crammed into a corner of Adobe Books, a crowd seen through a doorway at the old Needles and Pens. The images are at times grainy and low res, like bad cell phone photos or surveillance camera footage. Much is shot in indistinct rooms or hallways, tightly cropped. The people in the interiors model homemade clothing or stare back at us from unmade beds. They are dancing in high heels or fucking each other, holding whips and dildos. No one is smiling. Instead they stare defiantly into the camera as if to ask, “Who are you to watch? Which side are you on?” This is not the careless and fashionable hedonism of Ryan McGinley photos. Instead, like the subjects of Nan Goldin photos, the people in these images know how much their search for freedom costs, and who will have to pay.

Meanwhile, the battle in the streets continues. Scum bags dressed as imposter yuppies stand in front of the mall on Market Street, holding handmade signs reading, “The bombs are dropping, lets go shopping!” An effigy of Gavin Newsom burns at 18th and Castro. Back inside, homeless guys from Fifth and Market calmly eat free breakfast at the 949 Market Squat. More drab interiors, more surveillance footage, and then what is happening here? Scenes of naked people grimly carving designs into each other with razors, holding dripping, bleeding arms up to the camera. It must be 2005, I think, when we all started to give up on ever stopping the war and just started hurting each other.

Full disclosure: I am in this book. I might be too close to the people and events depicted to discern whether the images are strictly documentary or whether their arrangement is intended to create a new story. But the juxtapositions, eerie and dreamlike, pack a wallop. In one two page spread, my dead friend, Pete Lum, stairs from the left page into another photograph on the right of an unknown drag queen out front of Aunt Charlie’s on Turk Street. Their eyes seem to meet across the gutter of the book and across time and space, as if sharing a secret the rest of us cannot know.

Ultimately, perhaps the one indisputable narrative of the book is the tremendous progression in Xara Thustra’s artwork, as the early agitprop graffiti by “Heart 101” in support of street protests slowly morphs into a far more ambitious project, an ongoing collaboration with countless others through performance, print, and cinema to abandon protest and instead collectively embody through art the autonomy and ethics of a truly different world. Perhaps inevitably then, Friendship Between Artists is both a monumental achievement and something of an anti-climax. The protests, the willful art world obscurity, the dead friends — what did it all add up to?

I am certain, anyway, that nothing in the book was conceived with the idea that it would one day appear in an art book. Instead, the interventions, experiments, and protests detailed herein, while at times quite joyous, were, as the book’s title suggests, originally part of a deadly serious struggle to keep oppositional culture alive in San Francisco, and for many that struggle now feels lost. But life must go on, and this is no museum piece.

The book’s 500 pages positively overflow with life, salvaging from oblivion the raw, visceral feel of 15 years of ephemeral underground freedom. While some will be haunted by the suspicion that the answer to the above question is “not enough,” the people in these photos stare into the camera and demand we consider instead a hard-earned and far more redemptive possibility: that this isn’t an art project, it’s how we live. This isn’t representation of a different reality, but about being a different reality. And fuck you, anyway, because being free is its own reward.

For an interview with Xara Thustra, visit sfbg.com/pixel_vision.

XARA THUSTRA BOOK RELEASE AND SOLO SHOW

Thu/6, 7-9pm, free

Needles and Pens

3252 16th St., SF

www.needles-pens.com

Guns in Bayview

Andrew Lam

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December 5, 2012

36

The National Rifle Association’s bid to kill two San Francisco gun control ordinances — which a federal judge initially rejected last week, although that legal process continues — highlights differing views on the issue in the violence-plagued Bayview, where two prominent activists have opposing viewpoints.

One ordinance requires guns in the home to be locked up when not on the owner’s person and the second bans the sale of fragmenting and expanding bullets, affecting only the city’s sole gun store: High Bridge Arms, in the Mission district.

The first ordinance was introduced in 2007 by then-Mayor Gavin Newsom and supported by Sheriff and then-Sup. Ross Mirkarimi and opposed by three supervisors: Ed Jew, Aaron Peskin, and Chris Daly. City Attorney Dennis Herrera was pleased at the judge’s ruling.

“The NRA took aim at San Francisco’s Police Code,” Herrera said in a press release. “I’m proud of the efforts we’ve made to beat back these legal challenges, and preserve local laws that can save lives.”

NRA attorney C.D. Michel told the San Francisco Examiner, “This is not over, not by a long shot…What if you’re old and need glasses in the middle of the night, or you have kids at home to protect? Why are they being forced to keep their guns locked up?”

Interestingly, its not the NRA’s name on the front of the lawsuit, entitled “Espanola Jackson v. City and County of San Francisco.”

Jackson, a San Francisco native and longtime Bayview Hunter’s Point civil rights activist, has been fighting for the rights of minorities since she was old enough to hold a picket sign. She was recognized last May by the San Francisco Human Rights Commission with a “Legacy Award for a Lifetime in Human Rights Advocacy.”

So why is she advocating for unlocked guns in the home, and more lethal bullets?

“I live in the Bayview and I’m 79 years old,” she told The Guardian. “We’re mostly single women, but we need to have protection.”

She cited a recent police report she’d read of an elderly woman being assaulted by several teenage girls, just blocks from her home, as one of the many reasons she feels she needs protection in her own neighborhood.

Jackson said she’s had a lifetime of training with her firearm, although she wouldn’t identify the kind of weapon she wield. Back in the ’60s, she said, “they were calling us pistol packing mamas.” It’s that history, she said, that makes her feel safest with a gun in her drawer, where she can easily get it in case of a robbery.

But Theo Ellington — a board member of the Bayview Opera House and the Southeast Community Facilities Commission — sees the issue differently. Notably, as a member of the Young Black Democrats, he led the opposition against Mayor Ed Lee’s proposal to introduce “Stop and Frisk” policing to San Francisco. Lee abandoned the idea after activists cited rampant civil rights abuses under the policy in New York City.

Ellington thinks that overturning the San Francisco’s gun ordinances would be a bad idea. “We face a much greater risk if we fail to take measures to prevent [gun] accidents,” Ellington told us. “The last thing we want is for any weapons to be in the hands of children or for potential misuse.”

He has reason to be worried about the Bayview. Recent city statistics show an upswing in most crime categories in the district from 2011 to 2012, from homicides and rape to vehicle theft and burglaries. National studies have shown gun owners or their family members are more likely to get shot by guns kept in homes than are intruders. Public safety means different things in different areas, Ellington said, especially “when we’re dealing with a population that is plagued by gun violence.”

Freedom fighter: SF underground art icon Xara Thustra

Sue Vaughan

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December 5, 2012

0

Freedom fighter: SF underground art icon Xara Thustra

Since the late 1990s, Xara Thustra’s art has been inseparable from resistance and community in San Francisco, providing many of the signature visual images of the anti-displacement and anti-war struggles of the era. His work first appeared as graffiti in the streets of the city during the height of the first dot-com boom and soon grew to include artistic collaboration with and in support of neighborhood organizations, like the Mission Anti-Displacement Coalition and the Coalition on Homelessness.

As his work evolved over time from agitprop street art into elaborate performance and filmmaking, Xara has collaborated with countless others on many now-legendary art events like the Anti-Capitalist Fashion Show, the 949 Market Squat, and the band Manhater, while contributing stunning murals to Clarion Alley Mural Project and the Mission Neighborhood Health Center (with Kyle Ranson). Xara appeared in the 2002 Bay Area Now show at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, but has since resisted overtures from the art world, and preferred to instead make work in spaces like Adobe Books, Needles and Pens, and, still, in the streets.

Thu/6 at a presentation of new work at Needles and Pens, Xara and friends will celebrate the release of the self-published, 500-page book, Friendship Between Artists is an Equation of Love and Survival. It’s an epic photo documentation of the past 15 years of his work and collaborations in San Francisco.
Note: this interview took place between Erick Lyle (in Brooklyn) and Xara Thustra (in the Redstone Building) over Skype …

San Francisco Bay Guardian So, let’s talk about the book. I’ve read it twice this week — two four-hour sessions, straight through. Its pretty heavy shit.

Xara Thustra It’s deep. The book is deep.

SFBG As long as we’ve known each other, you’ve always been pretty quick to move on to the next thing. There’s a lot of self-reinvention in your work, not a lot of looking backward. I’m curious why it was then that you wanted to make this retrospective book now and bring all this material together from the past 15 years?

XT Well, it really doesn’t have much to do with the public. I had a pile of documentation that I had collected by throwing things that were mine into a box. I don’t know how much I really want to say about it in an article but the reality of it was that I was evicted about five times, and I kept moving and just throwing stuff in a box, and the box kept coming with me. That’s the stuff that didn’t get thrown out, those pictures.

Mostly, for me, though, it was that if I didn’t make a book out of that stuff then no one would know I did it, because, like you said, I keep moving on.

SFBG Was this the stuff you most wanted to intentionally save, or just what happened to be left over when you had a chance to look at it all?

XT This was just stuff that was saved, period. A lot of stuff was not saved. It’s interesting because [the book] seems like the whole ball of wax, but it really just is the cherries of individual moments — some of the nicer stuff to look at during those happenings. But, really, I’m not very focused on the book right now. I’m working on art show for the book release and I’m more interested in the art show right now.

SFBG OK. What is the art show at Needles and Pens about, then? How does that material for the book release show relate to the book?

XT The book is giving me footing to stand on to continue to speak to the public. Hopefully it creates a platform to show people that I am conscientious about my work and that it’s a daily practice. The residue of that daily practice is in visual form.

For Needles and Pens, I’m working on something about the Valencia Street corridor and its relationship to death from poverty in the streets. That’s the art show I’m working on.

SFBG That’s mostly what I think about these days when I am on Valencia Street. I wonder how you’re approaching that.

XT Well, jeez! [Laughs.] I don’t want to give the show away! That is the backstory of the show, and I just blurted that out. I don’t normally provide even that much information. But I’ll say their relationship will be seen through sugar coating and pretty colors [laughs].

SFBG It seems to me that now more than ever, public streets in SF really are a battleground. That’s something you and I have related to for the last 15 years in what we do. This book starts with pictures of the streets, like establishing shots in a movie, and the narrative that follows threads in and out of the streets. The things you see in the interiors are always situated specifically in the context of this city and, particularly, its streets: homeless guys and cops harassing them and graffiti and protests.

But the streets themselves feel a lot different to me now than when you started out doing work in the streets. Art in the streets is different, too. I wonder what your perspective is on how the streets feel now?

XT I would say I am not necessarily relating to the streets but more like being the streets. [Repeats like a mantra.] Being the streets, being the streets, being the streets … not that you were saying anything much contradictory to that. But, I am only looking at reality and the streets, how they are right in front of me in the present and not in relationship to anything.

Every street in SF is pretty different in a lot of ways. There are so many different realities in SF. But if we want to talk about the bougie rich folks, walking all over people — that’s happening on a lot of streets. The number of streets where that is happening has risen, and the number of streets where there’s good culture … Well, I can’t just say “good culture.” But as for culture that is deeply related to art, and the soul, and history, and kids, and love, and all that shit — yeah, those streets are dwindling.

I have to give it to the people who are able to utilize the Valencia corridor for their eating places. They are healthy, good-looking people. You can’t argue that! They’ve got the teeth and all that shit. They look great! [Laughs.] So you can’t really say nothing bad about them.

SFBG Yeah, but I guess I’m thinking about how it feels different to even put art in the streets now than it did during the first dot-com boom.

XT The demographics of the audience have switched so much to just being privileged people, period. When you are showing stuff to privileged people, they already have so much stuff to look at, so much stuff to choose from and their relationship to it is not the give and take it could be. It’s seen through a commercial lens.

Here’s one way to explain it: if I write the words “None Profit” on a wall in SF, it could easily be seen to be about folks here getting rich and getting money but still not profiting in some way. You’d be making a commentary. Write “None Profit” on the wall in St. Louis or Philadelphia and people walk by and feel like, “Yeah, no shit. Why you shitting on me?” The same words mean different things to different audiences.

SFBG The book features photos of performance in the streets, too. And in empty lots, in squatted abandoned buildings. Or smashed into a corner at Adobe Books — even crammed into a hallway in a house. In some ways, the book’s narrative is to me almost about this search for space in the city. It’s not necessarily a literal search for space, because we could, I suppose, be doing events any night of the week in a bar or something like that.

Even in the Bay Area, there is still space, per se. But it’s a search for a freer space. A non-commodified, less controlled space where perhaps we could be our true, authentic selves. What then is the relationship to this search for space in your work?

XT What’s my relationship to space? I could go for a lot of space! [Laughs.] Space that is lawless and fun and freedom-oriented and sustainable and nice! It’s just such an enormous issue. You and I ran in squats together to try to envision what we though would bring about community. Why did we have to squat a building to get that? It’s just ridiculous.

SFBG I think it’s been maybe 10 years since we sat down and did an interview like this together. At that time it seemed like you were moving past graffiti being your main focus. You were about to appear in the Yerba Buena Now show at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, but you were not excited about that either. You weren’t feeling like the museum was a real place to make art, and were wondering what for you is a good place for art.

Again, there is the search for a specific type of space. How are you feeling about that search for the right spaces to make art in today?

XT Well, there’s a lot in there, but first of all, graffiti has never NOT been my focus. It’s actually unfortunate how ridiculous of a main focus it has been for me. It’s like the only thing there is — being able to publicly express yourself freely. And I’m not saying that’s all that graffiti is. Sure, you’re taking advantage of people and being a vandal a little, too. But it also relates to what you are saying about space, because graffiti is about space.

SFBG Do you still get offers from museums or more traditional art world venues?

XT Not much right now. I’m fixing to try to get more offers by pushing in that community a little bit. If anybody wants to know, its basically true that if people call you and you don’t answer, and then people call and you tell them to go fuck themselves or whatever, and then they stop calling. So, yeah, I’m not getting too many offers!

SFBG I’m wondering, if you’re more interested now than you once were in doing shows in those environments, is it because there are different things you feel you can say there than, say, in the streets? What would you be looking to do?

XT I’m just trying to step up. In terms and space and the artwork I am interested in doing, I’ll take any stage I can get right now. Right now, I have this show at Needles and Pens and I ask myself first what is interesting to say in that space, and that’s what I always ask myself.

SFBG Where did the title of the book [Friendship Between Artists is an Equation of Love and Survival] come from?

XT I went and showed the book to my friend, Peter Plate, who is a writer and that’s the title he came up with. It’s a romantic title. There are a lot of ways to relate to it but its important to say that a lot of people’s energy and hard work went into the book. Other people’s photographs, too. The majority of the book, I have something to do with it in some manner, but people have been relating to it in their own personal ways and that’s nice.

SFBG And there are people in there that have since died. It’s a lot.

XT Yeah, that’s true. There is a storyline to it in that way, too.

SFBG One thing I got out of it, was that it seemed that as the narrative of the book progresses, the art moves away from being in support of protest or being literally protest art, and moves into efforts to instead embody a different, freer world.

XT Yeah, I think you’ve said it really well. It’s not a finished conclusion of mine, or anything. But just in terms of time and energy, if I’m going to spend my time and energy fucking with people for change, I think that’s the way to go. But trying to embody freedom and learn how to be healthy and enjoy your mental state on a daily basis … that still goes hand in hand with trying to support organizations and people that are doing the logistical paperwork to fight the system.

SFBG The book’s title, the riff on love and survival, makes me think about how you’ve always been somewhat known for serving meals at your shows. When we were having that talk about Yerba Buena, I remember you were upset then because you wanted to do a big feeding of free food in the museum and they were not interested in allowing that at all. What is the importance of free food in your work?

XT [Laughs.] Uh, it’s actually, like, this cultural thing that people have been doing for years that has been lost on whatever the culture is right now. If you really want people to come and have a good time, there should be dinner there. It creates a vibe, where everybody is eating food and they’re eating the same food and they have different conversation relating to that. It creates warmth.

These days in this city that has shifted, as well, because free food is not really a necessity for people who are coming out to art shows or going to parties or whatever. But it still exists in my work.

SFBG Speaking of the changing demographics in the streets and at art shows, then, let’s talk about Clarion Alley. The Clarion Alley Mural Project just had its 20th anniversary. I think many of us have been thinking about the weird way that murals we have done there as a community to celebrate our lives and community and resistance have ironically ended up being so well-loved and such an attraction to the very people who are moving here to displace us.

It’s something people are starting to think about but it seems like no one really knows what to do about it. Someone told me you suggested that we actually just black out the murals in the alley in protest. I wanted to ask you about that.

XT Yeah, for me, I say buff it. Period. Just drop it. It’s really sad, it’s a terrible way to look at it, and it would be a lot to walk away from, to walk away from those murals. But who knows? It wouldn’t be the worst idea to say something like that, to say that as a group and as a community, we should buff that shit and split and move somewhere else. If we’re not having a conversation about it, then the conversation is just being run by other people, right?

SFBG Yeah. I can see that. It seems nihilistic to me to just self-erase like that, though. On the other hand, the murals themselves have become almost strictly commemorative.

XT Yeah, what happened at the anniversary party wasn’t a celebration of a community that lives here at all. This year it was part of a funeral. People come there to see their folks and relate to the dead. That’s no big deal. We’re all good hard-living people and we’ve moved on and we’re doing interesting shit. But it might not be right here in this neighborhood or within the city walls even right now. It’s in the cracks and on the edges for now. But we’ll see. Personally, I’m looking for Ditter to come out!

SFBG Ditter? What’s that?

XT Ditter! The thing that’s going to replace Twitter! Because you know something’s going to come, right? They think it won’t, but we saw a lot of suckers straight up sad last time this shit crashed. [Laughs.] The next time the crash comes, I just hope it’s not too hard, because all these healthy, good-looking people are basically just MEAT, walking around! Meat! Better hope that economy stays up, y’all!

SFBG [Laughs.] Oh shit! The free food at Xara’s show … “IT’S PEOPLE!” Well, here’s to Ditter … and whatever is next!

Check out Erick Lyle’s review of Friendship Between Artists here.

XARA THUSTRA BOOK RELEASE AND SOLO SHOW
Thu/6, 7-9pm, free
Needles and Pens
3252 16th St., SF
www.needles-pens.com