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The Performant: Vice squad

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The Thrillpeddlers take on Poe, plague, and poop

In Edgar Allan Poe’s grisly tale The Masque of the Red Death, a group of wealthy nobles hole up in a fortified abbey to avoid the ravages of a mysterious ailment sweeping the countryside, which causes its victims to sweat blood and keel over dead in the streets. 

Led by their host, Prince Prospero, they gather beneath his roof and weld the gates shut against the outside world, availing themselves of the comforts he provides: food, wine, and “all the appliances of pleasure”. Six months into their isolation the Prince arranges a masquerade ball, a gala affair that fills seven rooms, each decorated in a different color. In his zeal to describe at length how each room even boasted windowglass the color of the décor, and how the partiers were costumed with “much glare and glitter and piquancy and phantasm,” Poe neglects to describe much of the evening’s entertainment. 

Fortunately for the curious, the gender-bending, genre-blending ensemble The Cockettes decided to reimagine the spectacle in their final show, Vice Palace, now being revived by the Thrillpeddlers in their way-off-market digs, the Hypnodrome.

As grotesque and depraved as Poe must have imagined the desperate pastimes of the filthy rich to be, it’s my guess that he wouldn’t have come up with entertainments half as perverse as those showcased in Vice Palace

Wrangled into place by flamboyant, fabulously-coiffed hostess Divina (Leigh Crow) and her crop-wielding, high-bosomed secretary Bella (Eric Tyson Wertz), the entertainers went right for the gusto early in the “yellow room” with a buxom burlesque dancer (Tina Sogliuzzo) and a ribald ditty about a camel’s hump(s) performed by dishy tattooed “boy toys” Steven Satyricon and Joshua Devore (the artist formally known as Tober Brandt). 

Next followed a lascivious ode to tantric sex, a bawdy, bloody ballad about Caligula, a Cockettes classic “A Crab on Uranus (Means You’re Loved),” and a sweetly-sung solo performed by Birdie-Bob Watt as Vagina Dentata about her life as a floating turd. Incidentally, this last song included a “scat break”. Of course it did! But even this paled in comparison to the titillating, wordless “Flesh Ballet” performed by an acrobatic (and totally nekkid) Ste Fishell.

The greatest thrill of the production is watching how easily the company weds their long-standing focus on the Grand Guignol with their more recent forays into Theatre of the Ridiculous territory in a single piece. Incorporating all of the gratuitous violence and bloodshed of the former, with the audacious camp of the latter, this show provides a quick and dirty primer on their longstanding love affairs with both. Blood, babes, beefy love slaves, boss wigs, striking black-and-white costumes (designed by Kara Emry), creepy blood effects (Rob Fletcher), and terrific tunes (Richard “Scrumbly” Koldewyn): this charming little anti-musical has something in it for everyone, with the possible exception of Poe. But he’s dead. 

 

Vice Palace: The Last Cockette Musical

Through July 31, $20-35

The Hypnodrome

575 10th St., SF

(415) 377-4202

www.thrillpeddlers.com

 

Appetite: Source’s vegetarian victories

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Yes, I’m a meat eater. I want animals treated humanely and have loving care and long lives. But I don’t feel I could possibly be a full-fledged food writer and not eat virtually everything. Food prejudices are not allowed. My motto: if any culture of the world eats it, I can too (followed by: if I don’t like something, I keep eating it until I do).

But leave it to two New York brothers to make a vegetarian meal that’s surprisingly hearty, satisfying, and inventive. In Potrero Hill’s design district, a non-descript warehouse holds Source (there’s even parking out front – take note!). The recently-opened space is modern and peaceful (though it stops short of a Zen or hippie feel) with a wall of running water and filtered air circulating through the dining room and open kitchen. A dramatic, gas-fired Mugnaini brick oven reads as a gaping dragon’s mouth. It certainly stands out, another one-of-a-kind feature that makes you curious as to what the restaurant is all about.

Water comes to your table triple filtered, ionized, and energized ($3.55 a carafe). Executive chef Mitchell Fox and his brother and co-owner, Andrew Fox, have thought through every detail of the atmosphere, menu, and experience. As Andrew says: “Source is more than an eating establishment. It is a place for people to be nurtured — their body, their mind, their soul.”

I dive into the vegetarian-vegan menu of sandwiches, salads, dosas, and pizzas prepared to eat fresh ingredients but still wondering what the level of flavor and satisfaction will be. But Source had me at the avocado, oink bits, and mozzarella burger ($8.95). Ok, it’s not really a burger, but a veggie patty made of black beans, beets, celery, carrots, wild rice, and onions inside a pita. 

I’m a burger fanatic and nothing can replace a perfect beef burger. But Source’s version stands on its own. The patty retains a smoky, grilled essence, black beans give it heft, and each ingredient adds nuance. It’s fresh yet savory — an exciting vegetarian offering that even a meat eater could love.

Tacos to da Bronx: Source’s perfect pies

Moving on to pizzas. The Fox brothers grew up in the Bronx and my old high school stomping grounds of New Jersey, places where you are legally required to know about pizza. But I was still shocked at how good these pies are. The dough, a special recipe 25 years in the making, is reminiscent of Una Pizza Napoletana. (Yeah, I said it.) It’s warm, doughy texture is addictive. The taco version ($13.95) comes loaded with salad, cheddar, salsa, guacamole, and soy sour cream. But I’d go straight for Da Bronx ($9.95) to savor the purity of the dough, sweet-savory tomato sauce, EVOO and homemade mozzarella. 

Though the pizza and burger are reasons enough to cross town, there are many pleasures here. The fries ($3.95) are fun, particularly with their accompanying range of salt choices and delightful dipping sauces like Caribbean banana ketchup, jalapeno jam, and Gilroy garlic aioli. Meat substitute entrees are surprisingly tasty, like the Jamaican jerk cluck (a chicken subsitute that clocks in at $13.95). Baked goods are another house specialty (vegan and gluten free options available), from whoopie pies to raw food rocky road cheesecake.

Doctor’s orders

Another pleasure is Source’s elixir bar, created in consultation with an herbalist and alternative doctor. Non-alcoholic sips include fermented elixirs, house sodas, teas, herbal blends, and smoothies with cashew milk. They even do their versions of a New York egg cream and creamsicle. The three drinks I tried were all worthwhile, even elegant.

With a casual order at the counter set-up and an über friendly staff, this is a welcoming place to eat in or take-out. And as far as I’m concerned, it’s already among the best vegetarian restaurants in San Francisco.


— Subscribe to Virgina’s twice monthly newsletter, The Perfect Spot

 

The Performant: Herrre’s Johnny!

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Entering The Room

Harley-Davidson. Twinkies. Michael Jackson. Some things are so uniquely American they practically ooze stars and stripes, no matter how far across the borders they stray.

Another all-American tradition – right up there with Miller-in-a-can and Wheel of Fortune – has got to be Bad Movie Night: the deliberate screening of movies so awful they make the viewer scream tears of laughter, or sit in horrified silence, too traumatized by dubious production values or script incoherence to muster the strength to tear their eyes away.

The compulsion to celebrate these cinematic misfits holds a singular place in our national consciousness. They even feed our civic pride: what may be California’s best-loved cult flick of the decade The Room is set right here in San Francisco, with plenty of slo-motion shots of the Golden Gate Bridge to prove it

“I’ve seen this movie 25 times now,” confessed Red Vic employee-owner Sam Sharkey during his introduction, a slightly desperate gleam in his eye. As the opening credits rolled over some stock-style footage of the sun sparkling on the bay, the Palace of Fine Arts, and the California Street cable car, the oddience immediately set phasers to “heckle”. When the credit for director of photography, Todd Barron, flashed on the screen they shouted as one “Fuck you, Todd!” When the door to a non-descript, upscale apartment swings open and “Johnny” (Tommy Wiseau) walked into his living room, the theater erupted into an ecstatic cheer.

“Hi babe,” he responded as if on cue, though of course he was really speaking to his co-star Juliette Danielle, cast in the unenviable role of Tommy’s whiny girlfriend, Lisa.

None of the characters are particularly sympathetic, which perversely is part of what makes the flick such a guilty pleasure. It’s simply impossible to feel bad for these jerks, even if they are trapped in a movie world they didn’t create. Besides Tommy, who appears perpetually zonked on airplane glue and speaks with an outrageous accent of indeterminable origin, and Lisa, who appears to be about 30 years younger and only living with him because, as her acerbic mother (Carolyn Minnott) points out, she can’t support herself, there’s his best friend Mark (Greg Sistero), a preternaturally handsome youth who allows Lisa to seduce him, Denny (Philip Haldiman), a socially-inept teenager who manages to almost get shot in a nefarious drug deal gone awry, and random friends who drop by to have sex on Tommy’s Ikea-issue living room sofa.

For aficionados of cult films such as The Rocky Horror Picture Show and events such as Midnight Mass with Peaches Christ, a screening of The Room will seem familiar. Scripted cat-calls, impromptu sound effects, the tossing of footballs and, more importantly, spoons don’t deviate overmuch from the generally accepted cult movie experience.

But for San Franciscans, The Room provides more than just an outlet for poking fun at a film, it’s a way for us to poke fun at ourselves. Though filmed mostly in LA, the random shots of the Golden Gate Bridge, the Marina, and Alcatraz conspire to remind the viewer that the movie is partly a love letter, albeit sloppily written, to San Francisco. A city which embraces even its most incongruous misfits.

“If a lot of people loved each other,” Tommy as Johnny perseveres, despite all evidence to the contrary, “the world would be a better place to live.” We are all Tommy Wiseau now.

 

The Room screens monthly at The Red Vic Movie House

 

Appetite: Upcoming contests, from Napa cocktails to the ultimate sausage recipe

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It’s a privilege to be part of a food and drink judging panel. One witnesses wild creativity from up-and-coming stars as well as established greats in the field. Competitions are where food geniuses take risks, and step out further than the bounds of set menus sometimes allow. 

Here are two upcoming contests I’ll be judging: one for cocktails up in Napa (wine country bartenders, please apply!) and one in SF showcasing five local chefs creating gourmet sausage recipes.

2nd Annual Wine Country Cocktail Competition 

Head to Calistoga’s Solage Resort on a Monday night to support your favorite wine country bartender. The mixologists will compete for best cocktail using two winning products: Charbay’s exceptional spirits and Perfect Purée of Napa Valley’s purees and concentrates. Top three winners get cash prizes, while first place gets to participate in a drink photo shoot at Perfect Purée’s headquarters. Bartenders work with ingredients like Perfect Purée’s yuzu luxe sour and carmelized pineapple concentrate, and are allowed to use any base spirit from Charbay’s portfolio, from vodkas to rum (with the exception of its Whiskey Release II, Nostalgie, and brandy). 

The last Charbay-Perfect Purée contest I judged at Rye delivered many memorable beauties. Wine country in the spring is already worth an excursion north, and if you attend the contest you can experience a growing cocktail scene in a region traditionally dominated by wine  – not to mention a showcase of two of the area’s best local products.

Monday, May 16, 6-8 p.m., free

The Solage Resort 

755 Silverado Trail, Calistoga

www.charbay.com 

www.perfectpuree.com

 

Tailgate Throwdown

Mark your calendars for what will be one of the most fun competitions of the summer. Tres Restaurant is the setting, and $10 is an oh-so-right price to sample five unique recipes featuring Saag’s Sausage. Here’s the meat of the competition: five popular Bay Area chefs will vie for best tailgating sausage recipe. You’ll get to sample each entry, along with classic game day sides like potato salad and coleslaw, then vote on who you think is top dog of the night. You’ll take home a swag bag stuffed with sausage samples, recipes, and more — the winning chef gets $250. Best of all, all ticket proceeds benefit Food Runners of San Francisco

Monday, June 20, 6:30-8:30 p.m., $10

Tres Restaurant 

130 Townsend, SF

(415) 227-0500

www.tailgatethrowdown.eventbrite.com 

 

–Subscribe to Virgina’s twice monthly newsletter, The Perfect Spot

 

Grrrl Brigade Stands Up! this weekend

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Back in the day, despite the fact that we went to a super jock high school, my friend Lex and I decided we would be part of the after school dance theater workshop. There were definitely some good times, especially when the big show came along at the end of the year, which gave us a chance to prance around on stage to “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend,” while wearing Ring Pops covered in glitter and dresses that made us look like we should be on maternity leave. So last night when I stopped by the final dress rehearsal of Stand Up! A Show of Resistance at Dance Mission, there were a lot of reminders of those dance-tastic times, of getting to run around stage with friends and get dressed up in cool costumes, but then the dancing actually started, and all I could think was “Where the heck was GRRRL Brigade when I was in high school?”

There were no Ring Pops, but there was floor-shaking taiko drumming and powerful Amazonian women dancers, all tied together with feminist stories from past and present. The strength of the performance didn’t come solely from the message of girl power exploding from every corner of the room — the talent and skill of the young dancers were incredibly real and striking.

The show starts tonight, Friday, May 6, and runs through the weekend. It’s worth stopping by to see the next generation of strong and devoted young dancers take center stage — and I promise the lack of glitter Ring Pops is absolutely a plus.


Stand Up! A Show of Resistance

Fri/6 and Sat/7, 7.p.m.; Sun/8, 5 p.m., $12

Dance Mission Theater

3316 24th St., SF

(415) 273-4633

www.brownpapertickets.com/event/171334 

 

Dugan O’Neal talks about directing TV On The Radio’s “Will Do” video

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A few years back Dugan O’Neal was featured in the Guardian’s SCENE magazine to highlight Two Renegade Cops, the retro 70s pulp TV series he’d created with fellow Bay Area artist Leighton Kelly. O’Neal has since moved to LA to immerse himself in directing music videos and short films. 

It caught my eye that he’d recently directed the TV On The Radio video “Will Do.” The song is off their latest recording Nine Types of Light, an album that has a video attached to each song. The amalgam of those videos has been pieced together as a Nine Types of Light film that you can watch here

With the band poised to play two dates at the Independent next week it seemed high time to touch base with former SF local O’Neal to hear about his experience working with TVOTR and other projects he has on the burner. We caught up with him at his studio in Silverlake. 

San Francisco Bay Guardian: When did you leave SF for LA?

Dugan O’Neal: Two years ago, though it feels like more. I was coming down here a lot after Two Renegade Cops. Leighton and I had a lot of meetings with our management company and every time I came down it made more and more sense for me to be here. And then he went traveling for a year…

SFBG: Are you still doing anything related to Two Renegade Cops?

DO: No, that was just a limited thing. Fuel TV owns it. But Leighton and I have a whole book of ideas that we want to do. He’s still traveling and has this amazing blog where he creates a piece of art every day. So it just made sense for me and Brandon [Hirzel] to move to LA. We were working a lot with David Myrick who was already down here… he shot that SCENE cover for the Guardian a few years ago and he also shot the TV On The Radio “Will Do” video. 

SFBG: Tell me more about working on TVOTR’s video. I hear my NYC friend Ivan Bess was on the project…

DO: Yeah, working with Ivan was great. We shot a bunch of stuff in New York and fortunately he was able to help out with that. 

SFBG: Which parts were filmed in New York?

DO: Everything with the band. The shots that were narrative based with just lead singer Tunde [Adebimpe] and Joy [Bryant] were filmed here in Silverlake. Even the outdoors stuff was done in the neighborhood. 

SFBG: Who designed the goggles?

DO: These twin brothers named Nikolai and Simon Haas. It was crazy because I turned in the treatment to the band on Friday, got the job on Saturday, and was on a plane to New York on Tuesday. Tunde had seen my “Eskmo” video and it resonated with him. And I’d wanted to use the virtual reality idea to create a narrative. But when I got the job we basically had a day and a half to figure out and make the virtual goggles. My rep Danielle had to fly with these crazy contraptions…

SFBG: Wow, with the wires everywhere they must have looked like a bomb…

DO: Yeah they totally looked like a bomb! I couldn’t believe that they didn’t get checked… she just carried them on to the plane! That was kind of disturbing. I mean I got patted down like 40 times…

SFBG: Because of your beard…

DO: Yeah. But TVOTR killed. Most of the people who directed the other videos were friends of theirs. I was the only one who wasn’t already in their circle. But once I started working with them we realized that there were a lot of connections, especially through Kyp [Malone], to my Bay Area family… the Yard Dogs and the folks at Five and Diamond. 

SFBG: How does the “Will Do” video fit into the larger picture of the film?

DO: It’s not like there’s one consistent story or plotline, but all the videos are saying a similar thing in different ways. There’s a cohesive vibe. There are interview parts that tie it all together. The second half feels more like a story because there are about 3-4 videos that lead into one another. 

SFBG: Tell me about the other stuff you’re working on. 

DO: I directed a video for a new artist on Rhymesayer named “Grieves”.. it’s kind of atmosphere and underground hip-hop ish. It’s an awesome song and I got to work with Kyle Mooney of Good Neighbor Stuff. So I’ve been doing that and writing treatments. But any time there’s a lull I’ll make my own stuff. 

SFBG: I saw one of your videos… the one where you’re at the window…

DO: Oh the “Happy Birthday” one… that was fun. But that’s the worst part of this kind of work. You’re always pitching things but then you’re stuck waiting. You have to make sure you’re still producing because that’s how you attract more work. I was really inspired by Leighton’s blog… so I started to created a video every week, just forced myself to hit that deadline. For me it was cool to see the progression, and to see how many times I hit a wall in the middle of producing a video… but finally I just learned to trust the process. 

SFBG: And the move to LA has been good for you?

DO: Yeah. I love it down here. Living in San Francisco was super instrumental to finding out what I wanted to say as an artist and a filmmaker. There was such freedom there and less of a focus on commercial work. A lot of people there just want to create art and everyone’s down to participate. But I always knew I would come back to LA.

 

Say si to the Latino Comics Expo

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Last month we got all amped up about the growing voice of Asian Americans in the comics industry, and this weekend the diversification of the comics nation continues with the Cartoon Art Museum’s Latino Comics Expo (Sat/7 and Sun/8) — purported to be the first all-Latino comic convention, ever. So enough with your sad, gringo-fied alcoholic binge of a Cinco de Mayo — read on for looks at the expo artists with whom you can spend the weekend celebrating the Hispanic contribution to that paneled place in our hearts.

Anthony Oporeza created Amigoman to combat the dearth of Latino superheroes on American shelves. Amigoman is the crime-fighting alter ego of schoolteacher Antonio Alverado, out to avenge the death of his good-natured Gramps. Will he defeat the sexpot overtures of Señorita Sin and the murderous musicality of DJ Kill to make the city of Del Oro safe for all? Oporeza’s titles have been available in bilingual editions since 2005, so it’ll be easy for Spanish and English monolinguists to keep up. 

Rafael Navarro will be at the expo touting Sonambulo, his lucha libre-masked noir hero who has been battling werewolves and Dia de los Muertos zombies since 1996. The name is no coincidence — Navarro’s Hammet-esque stories take on the cast of dreams. Is this really, really real?

Hector Cantú‘s Baldo is supposed to be the first daily comic about a Latino family ever marketed to the general public, which makes me think of the George Lopez Show, but the strip (going strong since 2000) is actually pretty good. The title character, a 15 year old boy, has to navigate all the pitfalls of classic daily comic adolescence (lame parental expectations, driving lessons, being broke), but also run-ins with peer pressure, racist website comments, and lowrider envy. 

And your special guest! Mario Hernandez helped to start the genre of alternative comics, let alone create one of the most well-known Latino series of all time. He and brothers Jaime and Gilbert started Love and Rockets in 1982, the soap operatic tales of punk culture, lesbian love, violence, divorce, and other dramatic turns that saw their main characters progress into middle age. Hernandez will be signing and reading from the series — which is due for a special exhibition at the Cartoon Art Museum in honor of its 30th anniversary in 2012. 

 

Latino Comics Expo

Sat/7-Sun/8 11 a.m.-5 p.m., free with $7 museum admission

Cartoon Art Museum

655 Mission, SF

(415) CAR-TOON

www.cartoonart.org

 

5 Things: May 5, 2011

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>>FINELY BREWED PROSE Though his boozy empire is no longer based in the Bay Area of his youth, we still have a soft spot in our hardened alcoholic hearts (or is that livers) for Jeremy Cowan. The founder of Shmaltz Brewing, Cowan has brought corny Jewish wit into the world of craft beers — see the label for his nut brown Messiah Bold: “the beer you’ve been waiting for” — and done so at a time when we all still considered Sam Adams a microbrew. He’s written a memoir about his rise to beer lord, which he’ll be back in the Bay promoting this week. Check out his signing at Omnivore Books on Sat/7, and tell him l’chaim for us.

>>A WEDNESDAY KNIGHT Sharon Funchess contributed vocals to a standout track on Teengirl Fantasy’s album 7AM, but her main musical project is Light Asylum, with Bruno Coviello. “Knights and Week Ends,” one of four songs on the recent tour EP In Tension, exemplifies the duo’s melding of powerfully dramatic ’80s diva vocalization and cold metallic beats. The Brooklyn-based Funchess and Coviello have an album due next year on Mexican Summer, and they return to SF for a show this month.

Light Asylum, “Dark Allies”:

>>PREPARE TO STOP The clusterfuck of a new-bike-lane-meets-intersection that is Fell and Scott streets is being revamped in an effort to un-fuck and un-cluster the mess. The center of-the-street bike lane—a recent addition to assist cyclists turning left from Route 47 on Scott to Route 30 on Fell—has proved perilous to pedestrians crossing east and west due to hordes of cyclists who don’t stop for them, and to drivers turning left from Fell onto Scott who have had to swerve to avoid oncoming cyclists in their lane. This week the city installed two more signals, which have yet to be turned on but will likely be dedicated left-turn lights for bikes and cars. Now, if the city can only do something about doofuses turning right onto Fell -– right into three lanes of oncoming traffic…like maybe a “No right turn” sign?

Signs of a messy pedestrian, cyclist, and driver intersection.

Signs of a pedestrian, cyclist, and driver intersection.

>>CINCO DE DRINKO? On the hunt for the best deal on a bucket of Pacifico bottles, we ran across Colorlines’ timely reflection on the de-politification of Cinco de Mayo. Kinda crazy how all immigrant commmunity celebrations become occasions for the country to get shit-faced (see: St. Patrick’s Day).

 >>REINSTALLATION Bliss Dance, a 40-foot sculpture of a dancing nude woman, was one of the best art projects at Burning Man last year. And this week, artist Marco Cochrane and his talented and hard-working crew have been installing the piece on Treasure Island, where she’ll be dancing for city residents until at least October. The build, sponsored in part by the Black Rock Arts Foundation, should be finished by the weekend. An opening reception is set for May 26.

Bliss Dance giving the hand on the playa in 2010. Photo by DJ Guacamole/Guacarazzi Photography

 

No animals were harmed in the making of this sandwich

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Last week long-time SF vegan restaurant and gathering place, Café Gratitude reopened after a short closure due to remodeling, unveiling not only their spruced-up interior but a new menu that includes old favorites as well as some new creations. 

Included in the new menu is a vegan BLT sandwich. Sounded great, so I promptly traipsed down last weekend. Of course on the restaurant’s New-Age, posi-vibes menu this BLT is called “I Am Extraordinary,” with sautéed maple bacon, romaine, tomato, spicy aioli, and avocado on an organic wheat bun. It was only the second day after its reopening, and the restaurant was packed with happy diners, whom I noticed were mostly of the older variety the day I visited. All of the tables are communal, but even so, I could barely find a seat. I felt that familiar Café Gratitude feeling: that of leaving planet Earth behind. 

If you’ve never been to Café Gratitude, then some background information is in order. The place is much like walking on board a spaceship manned by a fleet of friendly and encouraging aliens. The ship is decorated with trippy pictures of deliriously pleased humans farming, sharing, floating on rivers of love, etc. 

Once aboard, you will be expected to no longer use regular English, but instead a vocabulary relating only to epic self love. When you want something like food or water, you will have to utter phrases like, “I am pure,” and “I am luscious,” in order to procure them. 

The flight crew will bring you the healthiest of vegan food and drinks, some raw, or “alive,” referring to their probiotic qualities. All will come at a high price, usually somewhere around $15, but this is because of the local, organic, meticulously-crafted quality of the menu. While you eat, crew members will periodically come by your table and ask strange questions like, “what inspires you?” and “how do you show love?” After paying you will be released from the ship feeling great, your aura slightly aglow with an alien love light. 

I took my seat on the spaceship announced, “I am extraordinary,” and waited for my BLT to arrive, which it eventually did, with a bed of greens. Although I haven’t had a real BLT in years, I can safely say that this sandwich was not one – but it did make serious strides to honor the title. The coconut bacon was crunchy, salty and sweet, much like the “oink oink” variety. 

Vegan bacon, revealed

The interesting thing about good vegan versions of traditionally non-vegan things is that these substitutes will often take on a light of their own. This was certainly the case with Café Gratitude’s aioli. It’s cashew-based and has a hummus-like quality, so they pile it on with much more vigor and less restraint than one would conventional aioli. 

It was different, not that there’s anything wrong with that. My sandwich was hearty, flavorful, and fresh. I scarfed it down in minutes and felt satisfied – and, I guess you could say, extraordinary. “I am extraordinary” does have a nice ring to it, but still, if I had to rename it, I would call it, “nut hummus sandwich with coconut flakes.”

 

Cafe Gratitude 

2400 Harrison, SF

(415) 824-4652

(And other Bay Area locations)

www.cafegratitude.com

Appetite: Juhu’s Beach Club

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What’s for lunch? Top Chef fans will remember Preeti Mistry from season six of the series. That will surely be one draw to her new pop-up, Juhu Beach Club. But real food lovers will go for other reasons — namely, her creative Indian street food and home-style cooking.

I was delighted to receive word in mid-March about the opening of Juhu. I’m always longing for more unusual or local Indian dishes beyond the curry houses I love so well. And after a couple visits to the spot, I have not been disappointed.

Mistry’s eatery resides inside a humble liquor store, Garage Cafe, where you can chat with the chef as she cooks up your meal. Start with seasonal chaat ($4), puri-like snacks in tamarind sauce. Portions are generous for the price and the ingredients fresh.

Preeti has fun with sandwiches like the Sloppy Lil’ P ($7), a vegetarian twist on the sloppy joe. On a buttery Acme bun, the patty is made of potatoes, onions, cauliflowers, peas, and carrots. It’s a comforting, warm mash laced with spices. The BOM Egg Salad Sandwich via LHR to SFO ($6) may be too long a moniker, but it’s a fine sandwich of Straus yogurt-based egg salad laced with garam masala spices, topped with watercress and English cucumber. 

For meat lovers, there’s the Holy Slow Braised Cow ($9): tender, smoky black cardamom short ribs in a bun with cucumber raita. Pickled sides of chilies, beets, and garlic cloves make for worthy sandwich accents.

The Sassy Lassi ($3) is – thankfully — a salty (but refreshing) lassi, reminiscent of more traditional versions I’ve had. The drink is balanced with mango, lime, and toasted cumin, pleasing to the savory tooth like myself.

Best of all, Mistry just returned from a food and booze-filled trip to New Orleans she took for culinary inspiration. Creatively enthused, she’s now adding NoLa influences into Juhu’s mix, offering varying specials with a Big Easy stamp. Her “Shrimp Po’Bhai” includes BBQ shrimp laced with curry leaves and ginger.

I suggest you go sooner rather than later – this is already one of the more gratifying take-out, and creative Indian, spots in all of SF.

 

Juhu Beach Club 

Open weekdays 11:30-2:30 p.m.

Inside the Garage Cafe 

320 11th St., SF

(415) 298-0471

Facebook: Juhu Beach Club

 

–Subscribe to Virgina’s twice-monthly newsletter, The Perfect Spot

 

Super yachts are hard to move

The Guardian spotted a colossal sailboat mast getting wheeled down Illinois Street yesterday, as it was being transported from a warehouse on Pier 80 to SF Boat Works, a boat yard beside The Ramp restaurant on Terry Francois Boulevard.

It was quite a job – the mast was more than 100 feet in length, encased in protective material, and set up on metal boxes with casters for transport. Instead of being loaded on a big rig, it was simply secured to the back of a pickup truck and towed down Illinois Street, with a team of about half a dozen guys running alongside to make sure it didn’t fishtail into any parked cars. They didn’t use flags or lights or anything, but an SUV followed from behind. Traffic was stopped coming from either direction, but they managed to get it out of the gate at Pier 80 and into the gate at SF Boatworks without any mishaps. It was quite a site to behold. 

Pier 80 will serve as the base for the BMW Oracle racing team during the 34th America’s Cup. Billionaire Larry Ellison’s super yacht, the USA 17 — the winning boat in the last America’s Cup off the coast of Spain — is being stored at Pier 80, according to news reports. So we naturally assumed that this mast was from that world-famous sailing vessel. When we asked one of the movers if this mast was from the USA 17, they confirmed that it was. But then another member of the moving crew gave a different answer, saying this had nothing to do with the America’s Cup.

It seems that it may have been a mast from a different super yacht, the Cheyenne, which was previously named the Play Station. That boat once belonged to the late Steve Fosset, who, in addition to being a sailor, was the first person to fly solo around the world in a hot-air balloon. The Cheyenne was sold to adventurer Chris Welsh, who announced in Los Angeles last month along with billionaire Sir Richard Branson that they will co-pilot a Virgin Oceanic submarine expedition to the greatest depths of the ocean.

The Cheyenne — which recently sailed from San Francisco to Newport Beach — will serve as a “mother ship” for the submarine expedition, and won’t be used for competitive sailing anymore. We’ve contacted the America’s Cup Event Authority, Virgin Oceanic and SF Boatworks to try to get some clarity on whether the mast we saw getting towed along the waterfront belonged to the Cheyenne or the USA 17, but haven’t heard back from anyone yet.

The Virgin Oceanic submarine is expected to descend later this year into the Mariana Trench in the Pacific, a journey that will take the explorers deeper than anyone else has ever gone.

Meanwhile, it seems that when the America’s Cup comes to the city, San Franciscans probably won’t get the chance to see the USA 17 sail on the bay, even though it is being stored here. “The trimaran may not sail again,” noted a February press release from Oracle Racing. “Oracle Racing’s focus is on the next Cup.”

**UPDATE** No sooner had we posted this than we received a call from Ruby Esparrago at SF Boat Works, who said, “Yes, that was the mast for the boat from the America’s Cup.” But then we got an email from someone from Virgin Oceanic who said it was theirs.

Clare Rojas’ safe space

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As far as books go, Everything Flowers (Chronicle Books, $22.95) may just be my favorite to come out of the Bay Area this year. And not for its revelatory prose or whip-smart characters (it has neither). The small volume is filled with Clare Rojas’ quietly woman-centric, garden-toned designs that – can a book do this? – make me feel supported. I found myself breathing deeply while reading it, as if I’d just shook an asymmetrically packed satchel from my shoulders.

Resolved: I’d either get the heliotropic flower design tattooed on my skin, or I would meet the illustrator. Life being what it is, the latter proved to be the most accessible mission — and I’m glad that it was. Being in a room with Mission School vanguard Rojas is an experience akin to sitting quietly with Everything Flowers – or for that matter, listening to the breathy guitar folk of her alter ego, singer Peggy Honeywell. She creates calming, deep, feminine moments. 

“I feel so much pain being a woman in this world that I just wanted to create a safe place for them.”

Rojas barely seems to take up space in the interview room we’ve somewhat incongruously occupied at Chronicle Books, the company that published her most recent bound project. But behind her quiet presence, there’s a solidity. You have to lean in close to hear what she’s saying – in making you come to her, it’s like she’s subverting the model of self-promotional artist.

Everything Flowers, like the rest of Rojas’ canon, draws on the “super Americana, super Ohio” quilt art she saw her mother create when she was young. Rojas is fond of telling a story about visiting the place her mother used to attend quilting circles. All the cars in the parking lot, she says, were of the radical bumper sticker variety.

“There’s a certain energy and power with the way women express themselves,” she reflects when I ask her why she draws on these historical forms for her own very modern work. “When you make somebody lasagna it’s like love – and not sexy-time love either.”

When Chronicle Books approached her to do a book from which they could also cull art for pretty notecards and a gardening journal, it seemed a perfect fit for Rojas. After many years of what she felt to be acutely political work – the feminist mythology obliquely present behind her past gallery shows – she was ready to “let go of politics and just focus on beauty.” She was ready to draw some flowers, to heal for a moment.

She says. But as she takes me through the gorgeous pages of the book, it’s clear that some of the images (which were created between 2004 and 2010), hold significance for her past the simple desire to represent beauty. But good luck finding out the dirt on them – Rojas is an extraordinarily private person for our world of status updates and “about the author” pages. She tells me she’s “shy” about the paintings in the book, their hidden meanings so deeply personal that she feels weird seeing them on the page for others to examine. The most I get are small chinks in the armor I can peek through if I feel so inclined:

“Becoming an adult, figuring out what you stand for – the garden couldn’t be a better metaphor for growth.” 

Turning to a page with a fuschia design: “That one, I just enjoy painting flowers.” 

A radiating eye: “This one’s political for me.”

What are these politics Rojas keeps talking about? Again, personal. “I always feel like politics start in the home. If we can’t get it straight there…” she shrugs her shoulders, and holds my gaze.

It could have made for a real boring interview. But there’s something about Rojas that put me at ease, even if I didn’t understand quite what she was talking about, or even if we were talking about anything at all besides the literal words coming out of our mouths. After so many years of creating art in San Francisco, she is comfortable in her work. I’d entered the safe space.

“Blue Deer,” whose original now hangs in gate room G of SFO’s international terminal

Now, I’ll look at Everything Flowers and read my own stories on its pages, my frustrations and quiet victories as a female. This too, it seems, is part of Rojas’ plan. “You can only tend your own garden. If you’re happy and taking care of yourself, that resonates too.” 

 

Everything Flowers book release

Fri/6 6-8 p.m., free

Park Life

220 Clement, SF

(415) 386-7275

www.parklifestore.com

 

5 Things: May 3, 2011

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>>BE STILL OUR WALLETS the Alameda Flea Market (ahem, Alameda Point Antiques Faire) was in full effect Sunday, a gently heaving behemoth of vans and makeshift shady areas packed with the finest in 20-plus-year-old posters, leather jackets, doilies, and more. Per usual though, our pulses raced for the clothes. 1960s hula wear, perfectly affordable granny boots, and darling handmade cardigans – all for very reasonable prices, for the Bay Area that is. If you’re going to the next one on June 5, we counsel stopping by St. George’s Spirits afterward for the $15 tasting menu, or at least a shot of the Firelit Coffee Liquer.

Shopping noms: a ric-rac peekaboo ’60s dress and zippy little weirdo bike at the Alameda Flea Market. Photos by Caitlin Donohue

>>FAIR FOOD Price, service, ingredients, taste – the myriad of factors that determine whether or not a restaurant will win your heart are well documented by a thousand SF guidebooks and websites. But one metric that has rarely been the day’s special is this: how well do our city’s eateries treat their employees? To the rescue is Young Workers United, a community group that released its second such guide at a release party yesterday at Daly’s Dive. Hit them up stat for a copy — because trust, a well-compensated server is much more likely to humor your request for one more basket of bread. 

>>HABLANDO DE CINCO DE MAYO…No matter if you’re checking out the lady lube wrestling at El Rio, outdoor ballet folklorico, Danville’s Cinco de Mustache Bike Ride, or just joining the calvalcade of gringos that – like, totally – have to get a burrito on Cinco De Mayo, no SF celebration can hold a candle to that of Fruitvale’s annual festivities. We were there on Sunday – and dancing horses in bar parking lots? You’re not going to see that in Mission, unless they’ve called the cavalry on us.

>>SO GOOD, SOBERT Do not listen to those that tell you that you’ll never be ready for that trip to Lake Del Valle (outside Livermore — kayaking!) if you eat another pint of icecream. Or if you must listen, stay classy and gently incline the label of your newfound friend, Garden Creamery sorbet, towards the hater in question. The sorbets contain no dairy or soy (coconut puree instead), no refined sugars (they’re sweetened with agave), are made right here in San Francisco by the sweet-faced ladies on the back label, and are available by the pint in flavors like Thai iced tea, coconut, and coffee at the reliably awesome Green Earth Natural Foods on Divisadero.

Believe. 

>>BLACK SUN SOUNDS While Slumberland labelmates Pains of Being Young at Heart chose to work with veteran producers to create a commercial second album, Crystal Stilts sticks closer to the sound of its debut, 2008’s Alight of Night, on this year’s In Love with Oblivion. The Brooklyn group still makes a dark cavernous sound, with an emphasis on reverb and treble, but any enhancements to its scope, or variations within lead singer’s Brad Hargett’s usually monotone delivery, only add to a musical atmosphere that is richerand more nuanced than most retro-leaning indie rock, and (unlike the efforts of many contemporaries) equal to the best recordings on labels such as K and 53rd and 3rd. Crystal Stilts shares a bill with San Francisco’s excellent Mantles at Rickshaw Stop this Sat/7. 

Crystal Stilts, “Invisible City,” (from In Love with Oblivion), coupled with Jean Michele Jarre video footage:

Northwest passage: Kelly Reichardt on “Meek’s Cutoff”

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Over the past decade, Kelly Reichardt has consistently created an alternative cinema that is in opposition to modern Hollywood blockbusters. Her films, which emphasize minimalist and highly visual storytelling, transcend even the industry’s edgiest darlings (think Darren Aronofsky and Quentin Tarantino). Her films Ode (1999), Old Joy (2006), Wendy and Lucy (2008), and now Meek’s Cutoff (2010) cannot be categorized in the decade’s overhated mumblecore movement of Andrew Bujalski or the Duplass Brothers. Neither are they part of the world of extreme experimental artists, a la James Benning or Sharon Lockhart.

Somehow Reichardt has found a cinematic middle ground, balancing quiet and poetic allegories with accessible and emotional journeys — an achievement that present and future audiences will be hypnotized by for generations to come. After interviewing her for Wendy and Lucy, I spoke with her after Meek’s Cutoff played the 2011 Sundance Film Festival; it recently had its local debut at the San Francisco International Festival, and opens theatrically Fri/6.

San Francisco Bay Guardian: I recently saw your earliest films at the Pacific Film Archive retrospective and your adaptation of the Robby Benson-starring Ode to Billy Joe (1976), Ode (1999), was amazing! You shot the whole thing on Super 8, right? Do you like your earlier films?

Kelly Reichardt: Ode is very near and dear to my heart. It set me on my own way of making films. I don’t think I’m naturally a non-narrative person. And definitely not as much as I revere those kind of filmmakers like my colleagues: Peggy Ahwesh, Peter Hutton. I love seeing how their films unfold and really make the viewer be interactive in deciding what they’re about and what they mean to them. That’s what I’d like to do as a filmmaker. But I can see myself learning in all of my films, which is painful. A couple of students walked out of that screening of my earliest short films and I wanted to run out after them and say, “I totally understand!”

SFBG: You and [screenwriter] Jon Raymond seem to be consciously aware of just that! I know I have told you this before but I find your films so inspired. Your films are like the kind of classes I always wanted to have in college. You’re never telling me what to think, yet you are very precisely leading me towards something extremely imminent. And along the way, I get to experience my own journey with these characters and situations. Do you run into problems getting your films made and released because of this structure?

KR: That part of it, the endings, is [an element] coming from the world of non-narrative filmmaking. It doesn’t hand things over to the audience. It’s like a series of questions unfolding which is like a dream, which is something I want to bring into a more narrative form. It opens up the traditional genre a little which you already know how its’ suppose to go. Meek’s Cutoff and Wendy and Lucy were both released through Oscilloscope, while Old Joy was distributed by Kino. These are all small independent distributors and the things that they are looking for are not for everyone.

The hard part with filmmaking is getting the money to make the film. Everybody has a camera now. You can shoot a video. But if you’re not into naturalism and you’re trying to make things that are more extravagant, that vision is going to be much harder to just do on your own. If I were a student right now, my biggest fear would be how to rise up out of such a huge sea of voices. When I submitted my first feature, River of Grass, to Sundance in 1994, they had 600 entries that year which seemed overwhelming and huge. Six hundred and they were only gonna pick 16. And what was it this year? Didn’t they have something like 6,000 entries?

Getting your film out … worry about that later. Get your film made first. Plus there’s always the fear of even having something to say at the age of 20! Before you’ve lived on your own and been connected to the big black hole of employment, and public transportation and all those things. That could be good “big” fear to have as a young filmmaker.

SFBG: In your Q&A after the screening of Meek’s Cutoff at the Egyptian Theatre [in Park City, Utah], I was very excited about your bringing up forgotten and unavailable older films like Nicholas Ray’s The Lusty Men (1952).

KR: Me too! I was trying to make that point and I became so distracted by the woman sitting behind you filming. It’s just such a weird thing to look out and see 15 people videotaping you and you realize that no experience can ever just be with the people in the room again. Everything has to be some bigger purpose and I completely quit thinking about the film and the interaction. I think it’s a bizarre that people feel completely free about videotaping you and posting it on the Internet without asking me.

SFBG: Not only is it exciting that your films feel influenced by older cinema but you do it in a way that’s very much like Peter Bogdanovich, where it feels as if you truly understand the film’s themes and goals and you’re not just making a mixtape of your favorite scenes. Wendy and Lucy feels like a Vittorio De Sica neo-realist film, while Meek’s Cutoff feels like an existential William Wellman Western by way of Robert Flaherty’s Nanook of the North (1922). I mean, you even used the old Hollywood aspect ratio of 1.33:1 on Meek’s Cutoff! And it doesn’t come off kitschy; in fact, it feels even futuristic.

KR: It’s funny that you mention the aspect ratio. If anything is kitschy, and when you read back about the period, widescreen was what was kitschy. It was a gimmick! It’s what 3D or IMAX is to us today. What did Fritz Lang say, “Widescreens are for funerals and snakes.”

It’s funny now that this memory of widescreen is so embraced but it’s such a diminished landscape in a way. That question is always being asked to me in some tone of like, “When you accidentally picked the wrong aspect ratio did you have to just keep going with it?” (laughs) Though I knew going into it that it would limit the amount of theatres we can play Meek’s at. Sadly, very few theaters have the capabilities. 

SFBG: I’ve been watching a lot of Westerns this year and your horizons in every single shot of Meek’s Cutoff are truly spectacular. Your multi-layered colors! Your floating cowboys! The lined-up pioneers! I could just go on. All of it is so particular. How did you design this film? Did you do it on the landscape or storyboard it first?

KR: I storyboard but I can’t draw. (laughs) I have many different notebooks. Color is an early thing. But everything comes first from relentless scouting.  Scouting, scouting, scouting, scouting. I get familiar with the light and the colors of the day. The places you’re gonna be shooting in at certain times of the day. These locations were really remote and very hard to get to. And we ended up spending such a huge amount of time in that desert.

SFBG: Did you have to sleep out on the plains?

KR: We stayed in this town, Burns, Oregon. It’s a good two-street town and we’d drive off-road for two hours into the desert each day. This is where the actual wagon train got lost. There was nothing out there. We were actually finding pieces of wagon from the 1840s! So it would eat up a huge amount of our shooting day, which is already short because when you’re shooting in the mountains, the sun is gonna go behind them. So that’s four hours already out of your day.

My shooting schedule was so restricted that other producers would have said “You are sinking your ship by shooting out on these locations.” Fortunately my producers backed me and off we went, for better or worse. So you have to be on top of it when you’re there, knowing that there will be unexpected things to occur especially when you are dealing with oxen and mules and donkeys. All of that is to be embraced.

I also have to have a plan because we move so quickly. My DP [Chris Blauvelt] and I are talking, talking, talking. I have some books that are references, that I’ll steal frames from. Some that are location photos, people standing in the locations, some from old films. And some are just really crappy drawings I’ve done because I cannot draw, which I consider a huge handicap as a filmmaker. People always ask “Are you improvising?” We don’t have time for improv! Of course because of the weather, and the terrain, and rattlesnakes and the animals there’s certainly a certain amount of adjustment because when I storyboarded this, it wasn’t snowing. But you can’t go out there without a plan. The camera for me is the storyteller.

SFBG: Now you edit your own movies. Is that because you are a tyrant and you have to have it your own way or have you tried working with others? And by “tyrant,” I mean it in the nicest way possible.

KR: (laughs) You go through different stages: I have my writing partner [Jon Raymond] and that’s one stage and then it becomes very public and you’re working with a bunch of people when filming. Then editing is where you get your film back and it’s when I get to find my film. It’s a great moment when I’m in the editing room an I can say, “Oh yeah, that’s what Jon was originally talking about!” or “I felt that in Jon’s short story!”

But when you’re in production, there’s just so much going on! And editing is where you learn where you fucked up and should have put the camera. It’s the big payoff for me and I don’t want to hand it over to anyone else. It’s the interesting part of filmmaking. It’s where you can manipulate space and completely change the dynamic of a conversation or situation just by adding or taking away time. It’s not fun to edit with me, so I stopped using editors (laughs).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEmL9at6JT0

Meek’s Cutoff opens Fri/6 in Bay Area theaters.

Jesse Hawthorne Ficks is the Film History Coordinator at the Academy of Art University and programs the film series Midnites for Maniacs.

5 Things: April 28, 2011

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>>POP-UP-TASTIC Oh pop-up phenomenon…why are you so enticing? Is it because our hype-heavy culture is so ADHD that the newest and coolest bar, gallery, restaurant, or what have you is “out” even before it’s torn down and replaced by the next “it” concept? The once failing Corner restaurant on 18th and Mission is now bustling thanks to the eatery’s new format of hosting a different recession-plagued talent with a menu to die for every night of the week. So, too, are venues supporting a great idea, but not necessarily one with enough gas to keep it going long-term, like the coffee shop-record store-music venue-rehearsal space-anarcho bookbindery of our adolescent dreams. Enter the People’s Gallery, host to the Big Things pop-up shop this Sat/30, which will feature everything from a bookbinding workshop to sidewalk sale-type treasures, handmade goodies, photo exhibitions, and food. Get there early, for it might poof into the ether before you even get a chance to check out the buzz.

>>ANOTHER WEDDING OF THE CENTURY! As the media breaks out its best British accents, the complete mayhem engulfing the royal wedding reaches its fevered pitch tomorrow with the event itself. For the truly die-hard, there is but one place to take in the beauty of clan-building: the British consulate, where the official viewing party kicks off at 9 a.m. with remarks by UK Counsel General Julian Evans. Call Renee at (415) 407-7424 to RSVP.

>>BEATS AMBASSADOR When the publicity ploy involves bad-ass Ghanian American hip-hop, count us as happily-enlisted marketing allies. Blitz the Ambassador plays La Peña Cultural Center tonight, and is offering up a free stream of his new album Native Sun so that you can learn the words before you shake ass. The album is a powerful barrage of traditional percussion, guitar licks, and fly verses – worth banging in your headphones even if you can’t make Berkeley tonight.

Blitz the Ambassador, Native Sun:

>>TRUCKING COMPANY Do you dream of owning a food truck but aren’t quite sure how to fund it? Stop squirreling away your Tooth Fairy money and learn how to apply for a loan — and get approved — from a panel of finance experts, fellow foodies, and food truck owners. Tonight, our friends at Renaissance Entrepeneurship Center are sponsoring this workshop for only 10 bucks, but the free publicity that comes with Chicken John threatening to vomit all over your new local economy-boosting venture is absolutely priceless.

>>BACK TO THE BEACH The last eighteen months have brought a bunch of repeat-listen recordings from bands that invoke the oceanside, including Beach House, Dirty Beaches, and Beach Fossils, who return to San Francisco a week from today, taking the stage at Slim’s to play songs from their 2010 debut album and the more recent EP What a Pleasure.

 

A new brand of fixie competition ramps up for Saturday

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“We’re just trying to make it look pretty.” N8 Van Dyke, an SF illustrator, is posted up in the Marine Westar Services Bayview warehouse, unrolling wheatpaste designs on the concrete floor. In other corners of the building, burly men hustle about towing heavy boxes, performing mysterious, industrial functions. But we’re (I didn’t do any of the work, per se, but having watched the process for the better part of a half hour I feel entitled) involved in a different sort of badassery – creating ramps for what might be the biggest fixed gear competition like, ever: Saturday’s Red Bull Ride + Style.

“When the guys are riding their bikes on them,” Van Dyke tells me. “I want it to look Honey I Shrunk the Kids.” The artist, who has a penchant for drawing dark, somewhat tormented-looking chimps, was assigned to decorate a stacked freestyle structure that resembles a game of 52 card pick-up. Fresh from a trip to Kinko’s, he’s now plotting to paste his me-sized playing card designs all over the structure’s flat surfaces. 

N8 Van Dyke plays with his monkey

Also scattered throughout the warehouse is Aaron De La Cruz, swirling his signature black designs over another ramp, plus a brightly-colored monster spider by Arlo Eisenberg. There’s also a cooler full of beer and I guess other liquids, thoughtfully provided by Red Bull, which is sponsoring this boy’s club of extreme athleticism and creativity as part of the brand’s ongoing mission to promote heart-racing, energy drink-necessitating feats of daring, like downhill bike races through Brazilian favelas.

It would appear that this weekend’s competition is somewhat of a first. Jeremy Witek and Ryan Corrigan (the only one drinking a beer, what the hell guys), two BMX riders and ramp builders that are in charge of constructing the designs that the artists are decorating for Ride + Style, tell me that they’ve never heard of a fixie competition like this one. 

Van Dyke and Aaron De La Cruz talk shop behind the De La Cruz ramp-creation

Generally, fixie freestyle competitions, Witek and Corrigan tell me, are held at skate parks – but the ramps they’re building for Saturday are made specifically for fixed gears, an unusual specialization that provided them with an extra challenge — no one’s done these before. “It’s a learning process for us – it’s hard trying to figure out what they want,” Witek told me of the people at Red Bull that contracted them to build the pieces. “They don’t really know what they want.”

The contest is going down at Justin Herman Plaza, just across the street from Harry Bridges Plaza, where SF fixie riders can be seen practicing their endos and bunnyhops on most days. It’ll feature two categories of competition: track (a more common type of fixie contest) and freestyle. This is one of the two cities, after all (New York is the other one), where the bike messenger culture really took root, giving rise to the sport of fixed gear in the first place. 

Tools of the trade

To advise on the construction process, a bunch of fixie riders came out to Bayview to test out what the team was cooking up. Witek says they liked what they saw. “They’re extremely pumped,” he says. “They’re always stuck riding out at stranded skate parks. This is more than just a sport, you know – it’s a culture.”

“This is going to be a real eye-opener for the public, they’ll be able to see what fixed gears can really do,” he sums up. To get a sense before Saturday so you’re not all gawky, you could do worse than going here.

 

Red Bull Ride + Style

Sat/30 noon-4 p.m., free

Justin Herman Plaza

1 Market, SF

Facebook: Red Bull Ride + Style

 

Appetite: Island bites, part three

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After a dreamy week in Hawaii, I have a slew of recommendations to share with you in a multi-part series. In part one, I covered farmers market street food in Oahu. In part two, Honolulu’s cocktail scene. Now we dine in Honolulu, on the hunt for the best. (Next up, Kauai.)

 

THE SPENDY

Sushi Sasabune:

Starting off with a bang, the first course was Canadian albacore sashimi in miso. All photos by Virginia Miller

Though Honolulu’s Sasabune is related to the restaurant by the same name in LA, I had a superior experience here in Hawaii – probably due to the fact that I went whole hog here and ordered the 13 course omakase menu. It’s around $120 per person at lunch and costs over $200 for the same menu at dinner.

Lunch is peaceful – only the hardcore patronize Sasbune during the daytime hours. The restaurant’s decor is humble and pleasant with classic jazz playing.

13 courses really means over 20 varied bites as many courses include two different pieces of nigiri. You can spend less by stopping before your 13 courses have been brought out – just give the sushi chefs a few minutes’ warning, they prep a course or two ahead. 

Though I was stuffed around course nine, I couldn’t bring myself to tell them to stop, such was my desire to see what they would serve me next. Everything was impeccably fresh and expertly prepared — one of the best sushi meals of my life.

 

The Royal Hawaiian Hotel’s Azure:

Azure’s butter-poached filet of Wagyu beef

Island spirit and urban sophistication reign at Azure, one of the newer, hotter restaurants in Waikiki. It’s dinner companion is the magical Mai Tai Bar, which sits just outside its front door. 

I sat at a cabana-covered area on the sand amid ocean breezes, sipping from the well-chosen wine list. The a la carte menu is pricey ($12-29 for appetizers, $35-60 for entrees), making the ‘steal’ the five-course, $69 tasting menu – it only costs an additional $20 for wine pairings.

My tasting menu included a sashimi starter of Hawaiian yellowtail ahi and Japanese hamachi over an avocado and watermelon radish salad. Ginger syrup and a hint of lemongrass enhance the dish’s Asian spirit. A 2009 Crios de Susana Balbo malbec rose made for a refreshing pairing.

The second course was the strongest: the ocean cappuccino, a creamy bouillabaisse with chunks of Dungeness crab, black tiger shrimp, and potato, accented by Thai basil. Another highlight was an intermezzo between third and fourth courses, a lemon basil sorbet infused with pop rocks.

Third course was the Kona lobster tail risotto. Though I adore lobster tail, the risotto was not on par with the silky texture I expect from a Italian risotto.

Fourth course was butter-poached filet of Wagyu beef. The sweetness of Madeira and brandy played off the earthiness of taro and black truffle in the sauces. The presentation of the dish was striking: crowned with a fried duck egg, it came out under glass cover, smoke swirling inside.

For dessert we had local Kula strawberries and fior di latte cheese ice cream drizzled in balsamic and cinnamon syrup. A clean, straightforward finish.

 

Hiroshi:

Luxurious miso butterfish at Hiroshi

Our experience turned out to be a mixed bag at Hiroshi: despite the sweetest hosts at the door, our waiter was lackluster and disinterested. No explanation of dishes were offered until we asked for them. The other downside? A corporate, bland decor that lacks warmth or even casual sophistication. 

I’m keeping it on my recommendation list for one reason alone: chef Hiroshi Fukui’s creative food. A fish fanatic, he catches some of the menu’s offerings himself.

Fukui’s foie gras sushi ($10.50) was as decadent as it sounds: two nigiri pieces topped with lush foie gras and drizzled with a teriyaki-shiso glaze. Portuguese sausage potstickers ($9) came surrounded by sweet corn and tatsoi (rosette bok choy) with a kimchee foam that I wish had tasted more like kimchee.

Another stand-out was the miso yaki butterfish ($14.50). The small serving of butterfish melts and lingers like a luxurious dream, brightened with lemon ume gelee. Chef Hiroshi shows off his deft hand with a crispy skin New Zealand snapper ($24.95). The fish flakes beautifully in a tomato-hijiki (brown sea vegetable) broth. Tofu, fennel, edamame, and local Kahuku corn round out the platter. Try to ignore the service as you savor some of the more imaginative dishes and impeccable fish preparation in Honolulu.

 

THE MID-RANGE

Side Street Inn:

Prepare ye for gigantic plates of family-style Hawaiian food. Side Street Inn has two locations and both are packed with locals gorging on mountains of meat. Given the size of the plates ($11-15 for your average dish, $17-26 for steak/beef and pork entrees), eating here can be a steal. Beware of over-ordering. 

You’ll leave happy after traditional dishes like fresh ahi poke tossed with Maui onions, signature pan-fried island pork chops ($22), or lilikoi-glazed baby back ribs ($17). 

The two most satisfying dishes out of the eight I tried? One was the straightforward, utterly comforting kim chee fried rice ($13), a mountain of rice laced with everything from Portuguese sausage to peas. Number two was the catch of the day, the opakapaka (Hawaiian pink snapper), a giant whole fish grilled in citrus and oil. Flaky and delicious, this was the more elegant of the otherwise hearty platters, and a fine example of local fish specialties. It’s easy to see why this is a local classic. But whatever you do, come starving.

 

Alan Wong’s Pineapple Room: 

The Pineapple Room’s superb Loco Moco

As my schedule sadly did not afford time for dinner at Alan Wong‘s signature restaurant, I made do with what I would knew would be a distant second, lunch at his more casual Pineapple Room inside the Macy’s at the Ala Moana Center.

The Pineapple Room threw me off with its mall setting and Denny’s-style diner place settings. They would have been fine if they fit the decor, but it was a discordant mix of vintage Hawaiian plantation with dated 70’s tableware. But casual is great as long as the food is good, and here the food is playful and generously-portioned, one dish often enough for two.

$15.75 is a lot for a rueben, but Wong’s is a big one. Too bad the reuben didn’t hold up to exemplary versions elsewhere, although the addition of kimchee is conceptually brilliant. The sandwich was dry and the pastrami decent but lackluster — a side of wasabi potato salad fared much better.

The popular stir-fried soybeans ($8.50) were likewise disappointing: a pile of beans soaked in sesame oil, garlic, and chilies. They sounded better than they tasted, missing the crisp snap and heat that could have made the dish addictive.

The dish that got me, however, was Wong’s updated version of classic Loco Moco ($18.50). Using quality Kuahiwi Ranch natural beef for the hamburger patty, it rested on fried rice in a veal jus, topped with two Peterson Farm fried eggs. This was a blue collar dish elevated to culinary heights.

Skip the cocktails – the passionfruit “mojito” ($12) sounded good, made with cachaca, basil, tarragon, and mint, but I could not taste any cachaca. Better to go with Wong’s house-made fountain sodas. At $6 a pop, they hold a lot more flavor. I loved the intense tart of the yuzu soda.

 

THE CHEAP

Char Hung Sut: 

Making manapua at Char Hung Sut

Dingy Char Hung Sut was among the best food of my entire Hawaiian trip. Chinese women and men rolled dough for pork buns and formed dumplings as friendly staff chatted me up while I ordered just about everything on the menu. For less than $5, I walked out with a bag full of dim sum from this humble, take-out only storefront. 

The sticky sweet half moon dumpling contrasted nicely with the savory manapua (local term for pork bun): among THE best pork buns I’ve ever tasted. Completely unique to traditional Chinese versions, these are Hawaiian-style pork buns. The filling’s dark pink color comes from marinating the pork with just a bit of saltpeter (stone salt) prior to slow roasting. Dumplings were equally exemplary. Order everything. You’ll leave happy.

 

Liliha Bakery:

Liliha Bakery is a dated bakeshop serving what is now legendary in Honolulu: Liliha Bakery’s Coco Puffs. I can’t say I get the craze exactly. Chocolate pudding filled mini-cream puffs aren’t exactly melt-in-your-mouth. The pastry is a little dry and thick pudding filling is decidedly old school. But more power to ’em.

Where they got me was with lilikoi (passion fruit) or haupia (coconut cream)-filled malasadas. These sugar-crusted, Portuguese donut-like pastries are perfection filled with either. I have been craving them ever since I left the islands.

–Subscribe to Virgina’s twice monthly newsletter, The Perfect Spot

 

The Performant: Sing like everyone’s listening

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Electric Party Songs and The Darker Side of Broadway

However you feel (or don’t) about the Beat Generation, you have to give Allen Ginsberg credit for his ability to transcend the limitations of that motley crew, always pushing forward and outward in his beatific search for the sublime. Perhaps no other modern poet has better exemplified the endless fluctuations of the underground, and how to eternally roll along with them. Our own Holy Fool: queer Buddhist Jew, vagabond truth-seeker, and the King of May. In all the ways that count, Allen Ginsberg was, and will always be, America.

And America, like it or not, will always have an influence on the global arts arena, so it is perhaps not surprising that the small band of multinational artists who comprise the “open program” of the Italy-based Workcenter of Jerzy Growtowski and Thomas Richards have embraced America, and Ginsberg in particular, in their touring productions I am America and Electric Party Songs.

Using Ginsberg’s poetry as a catalyst, Electric Party Songs was developed with social gatherings in mind, mashed ecstatic texts with Southern spirituals, “Capitol Air” with call-and-response. 

Displaying a chummy familiarity despite the less-than-intimate setting of the SFMOMA lobby, the performers began by praising the creative energy of excess, first as a duet between Alejandro Rodriguez from Argentina, and Lloyd Bricken from Alabama, then quickly incorporating the eleven-person cast. Bursting with exuberance like Kerouac’s “fabulous yellow Roman candles,” they may have been dressed liked a runaway chorus line from a revival of Hair, but their intuitive chemistry was pure Digger. 

Eventually, in a manner that Ginsberg would undoubtedly have approved of, the gleeful club abandoned word-for-word renditions of his poetry, and moved into a set of African-American spirituals, a focal point of much of Workcenter’s current research. A moving rendition of “Adam in the Garden” found several performers mixed into the oddience, keeping time and murmuring response, while in the center of the polite circle, the song leader Alejandro romped and wriggled with Davide Curzio (Italy), giggling, entangled, pulsing outwards, pushing forward: all innocence. By the end of the set it was impossible to believe they haven’t been here with us all along, hovering genially at the edges of our consciousness, just like the spirituals and the venerable poet that gave their electric party its juice.

Belters, babes, and consummate showmen – and that’s just the production crew! If Boxcar Theatre’s tongue-in-cheek tour of The Darker Side of Broadway, a dizzying slew of doomed ditties sung by most of the cast and crew, was an indicator, their upcoming production of Little Shop of Horrors (which opens May 20) should be a rip-snorter.

Highlights included a heartfelt West Side Story duet between ensemble member Amy Lizardo and “Ronnette” Nikki Arias (“A Boy Like That”), a tense, downtempo “Pimp’s Tango” from Threepenny Opera, between John Lewis (who will play Seymour) and Bryn Laux (who will play Audrey), and a hilariously bawdy “Glitter and Gay” from Candide performed by assistant director Lauren Doucette. After a terrifically evil rendition of a Shockheaded Peter song from artistic director Nick Olivero, a smashing performance of “The Cell Block Tango” from Chicago brought down the house, leaving us with appetites whetted like Audrey II’s for fresh blood, with a side of campy cheese.

 

Your world, in toothpicks

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I rolled underneath the Rice A Roni cable car, dodged security at the Transamerica Pyramid, ricocheted down the curves of Lombard. Passing the Cliff House, I waved at the ocean, but all too soon I’m back by the dragons of Chinatown, still spinning. Oh hey, there’s the Palace of Fine Arts, enclosing the heart Tony Bennett left behind (there it is!). My tour ricocheted me by the windmills near Ocean Beach, and then I’m somersaulting (rapidly! picking up speed!) til I hit the Golden Gate Bridge, where Humphrey the Whale flipped me an appreciative hey-ho with his tail. Nearing the end of the journey, I hit Alcatraz en route to my resting place in Fleishhacker Pool. 

Oh, to be a ping pong ball in the thrall of Scott Weaver‘s universe.

Weaver is the father of “Rolling Through the Bay,” a towering testament to the romance of San Francisco now on view at the Exploratorium that has taken Weaver approximately 3,000 hours to complete. The epic video in which Weaver — a long time Bay resident whose great-grandpappy owned a vineyard a block from where the Transamerican Pyramid now stands — genially describes his work of art has scored the discovery museum big points with media outlets throughout the city (seriously, this video — this video is blog GOLD). 

The video proved so popular, in fact, that it spawned a follow-up focusing on the charismatic Weaver and the tricks of his trade themselves. Spoiler: his preferred toothpick brand to work with is Diamond.

The sculpture, Weaver estimates, is the third or fourth largest in the world, but the other guys don’t have the finely tuned kinetic features of his creation. Or, one imagines, the intricately worked personal references to the artist himself: Tony Bennett’s heart is made from toothpicks thrown at Weaver’s wedding. Golden Gate Park’s shubbery is partially composed of toothpicks Weaver has collected from around the world, including some bizarro ones from Morocco. Weaver’s built sculptures of his face into the wooden, pointy metropolis, and the toll booth on the Golden Gate Bridge proudly displays the time his son was born.

Anyways, major claps to the Exploratorium for putting the whole shebang on display. Kudos also to toothpicks for impeling me to revisit the Exploratorium website, which is totally chockful of ridiculously scientifical content like this

Click here to see a large-size image of the sculpture and revel in its majesty.

Scott Weaver’s “Rolling Through the Bay”

Through June 18

Exploratorium

3601 Lyon, SF

(415) 561-0363

www.exploratorium.edu

 

5 Things: April 25, 2011

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>>TAKE BACK THE STREETS In Chiapas, small Zapatista towns will build DIY speed bumps on the freeways cutting through their community. Here in SF, we make our own bike lanes. Nicely done, Kingston and Guerrero, nicely done.

Look and listen

>>TRIANGULA The Alps’ next album after last year’s acclaimed Le Voyage includes striking design work by Tauba Auerbach — namely, a sleeve that can be folded out to form a sky-sided pyramid atop a landscape. Released by Mexican Summer, Easy Action finds core trio Jefre Cantu-Ledesma, Alexis Georgopolous, and Scott Hewicker collaborating in different ways from song to song, using collage techniques to reframe sounds from past recordings, including Le Voyage. The overall textures are more dissonant, with fuzzy-needle effects and distortion present on more than one track. 

>>MOMMY, HE’S SCARING US San Francisco’s latest YouTube sensation isn’t one of our outrageous performance artists or curbside curiosities. It’s Dr. Robert Lustig, a UCSF pediatric endocrinologist who wants to take away our candy. The opening salvo in Lustig’s journey to viral status was “Sugar: The Bitter Truth,” a dense, learned, 90-minute lecture dissecting the harmful effects of sugar on everything from our triceratops to our hermaphrodites — or was it our trigyclerides and hematocrits? The YouTube lecture was followed by a New York Times Magazine cover story by Gary Taubes on April 17 and an appearance on Forum with Michael Krasney on April 21. As of April 22, more than 1 million people have viewed the lecture, presumably after they polished off the cookies in their secret office drawer.

>>G.A.W.K. AND RAWK The Gay Artists and Writers Kollective is celebrating its 25th anniversary this Saturday at Magnet in the Castro. G.A.W.K. still rocks thanks to the efforts of Jon Sugar, who in addition to music and drag endeavors has helped assemble and emcee the gathering for queer rock performers, songwriters, actors, writers, and more. The bill for Saturday’s free anniversary celebration includes Bambi Lake, Jerry the Faerie, Xavier, Khalil Sullivan, the band Era Escape, and violinist Kippy Marks.

>>GUTS ‘N’ GLORY Having emerged on the other side of its first decade, the BYOBW (Bring Your Own Big Wheel) races yesterday on Sunday, April 17 seemed to be gathering speed, and swinging a can of Miller High Life about as they one-handedly swerved down the backside of Potrero Hill. The capacity crowd on Vermont street was well-pleased with their careening crusaders – even spectators inconvenienced by an airborne Michael Jackson on turn number two gave a lusty cheer when the King of Pop spun about nimbly and re-boarded. The Internet has nothing else on it today but video footage of the event, but here’s our fave shots from the day.

The glory:

And the fall (sorry buddy):

Our very own Eco-Opolis: Earth Day at Civic Center Plaza

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“Have you been to Eco-Opolis?” a woman asked me as I leaned in to look at a miniature green city complete with recycled soap bottle skyscrapers and strawberry basket fences. The set-up was part of a phalanx of carnival booths with very green themes — just one part of this year’s Earth Day Festival in Civic Center Plaza.

The amount of recycled art that peppered the grounds in front of San Francisco’s city hall was quite impressive, from ornate altars made of orange peels and bottle caps to adorable burlap fish friends. Beyond the art, there were booths galore with demos on solar power water heating, hip recycled glassware by Bottle Hood and to die for raw vegan chocolates by Sacred Chocolate.

And for those looking for something a little more experiential there was the sound therapy booth, where one could sit within a circle of gongs and feel the vibrations, or get one could get dirty and learn how to build using straw bales. I’ve got to give a shout-out to the two gals running the Teens Turning Green booth, who were working to educate their cohort on the dangers of toxins in so many products that teens love to use.

There was definitely a encouraging mood throughout the whole event, which made me feel positive that one day, we’ll all be able to live in Eco-Opolis.

 

The Urban Eating League’s food activists with flair

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Last Sunday I wore a slip, faked pregnancy, drenched myself in beer, and ate five brunches in four hours. Sure, behavior that doesn’t raise an eyebrow on those of us who have seen the dark side of a bottomless mimosa, but this time my bedlam brunch behavior was part of a carefully devised social eating event focused on community building and celebrating local food. Improbable, no? May I present to you: The Urban Eating League.

The league was born one night when Morgan Fitzgibbons and Rose Johnson, two of the neighborhood’s most inventive and resourceful characters, were sitting around a Panhandle table, tossing ideas back and forth. Johnson runs a one-woman bicycle delivery service named Apothocurious, through which she peddles hummus, salad, salsa, pesto, and the like around the city to hungry, green-minded customers. Fitzgibbons helped to found The Wigg Party, a neighborhood group dedicated to advocating for sustainability through local currency, strengthening strong businesses, and partying among neighbors. The two shared their mutual desire to eat more locally-sourced meals communally. Fitzgibbons knew they were on to something.

“At first our idea was just to have a progressive dinner where we could involve big groups of people, but then I started thinking that I wanted to have some element of fun competition to it,” he says, remarking that after the two hit on the idea for a league, he embarked upon outlining the basic structure and rules that would soon become the signature tenets of The Urban Eating League.

A UEL eater prove style and substance can go hand in hand. Photo by Hannah Tepper

Speaking of basic structure, here’s what they came up with: teams of three go from host house to host house, eating food that each group of cooks prepares for the event. The cooks are given a set amount from eaters’ $15 to $20 entry fees, and must make sure that their ingredients are 90 percent local.

The hosts at each house are competing against each other in three categories: “flavor slam,” creativity, and hospitality, titles determined by votes cast by each team of eaters. At day’s end, all participants regroup – often for a dessert potluck, or games in the park – and the winning hosts get prizes and informal awards.

The competition is further animated by the fact that every team of eaters and hosts must have a team name and theme, e.g. Team Snow Pants or No Pants (a popular moniker from a recent UEL). A general sense of wackiness works to make the event read more like a big, food-related costume party than stone-cold competition.

The first event took place in February, a dinner competition that involved three host sites and 18 eaters. Since then Johnson, Fitzgibbons, and a crew of dedicated friends have expanded the event and come up with new ideas to refine it. Last Sunday’s brunch event was the league’s third. It was composed of five hosts cooking for 30 eaters who were split into ten teams.

I showed up with my team, Shotgun Wedding, dressed in a slapshod manner as two brides and a priest, hauling a 30-rack of beer with which we planned to honor the spirit of the shotgun. We congregated with the other eating teams at a Fulton street Victorian affectionately dubbed the Sunshine Castle by Fitzgibbons and the others that call the place home. After some brief warm-ups and ice-breakers, our team took off, armed with a map showing us our meal plans.

At our first house we dined on edible flower-filled spring rolls in a sidewalk picnic. Next up, a home where hosts would speak only in French and Spanish and fed us delicious French toast in a meditative ceremony. Then, the hippie-neon-inspired meal: biscuits and “wavy gravy” made from vegetables grown in their garden. Our hippie hosts presented us with (unplugged) electric Kool-Aid and the 1970 UC Berkeley yearbook to peruse.

The fourth stop was a breezy, well-furnished Scott street apartment where we dined on mini-quiche and Meyer lemon-infused water, refreshments that gave us strength for our final brunch: another French toast plate, this time with a tomato salad and sweet potatoes. Our hosts, dressed from head to toe in orange, told us a Russian Easter parable (in Russian) as we ate.

It was exhausting – but well worth the shotgunning. I found that the Urban Eating League to be a creative way to bring sustainable eating and socializing under one auspice. And despite the silliness, these folks are passionate about sharing local foods. 

“I’ve participated in the event as an eater and chef,” said Rachel Caine, an ex-organic farmer and one of the hippies. “I love doing both actually. Being an eater is full of surprises – it’s really great to see people’s homes and meet new neighbors. But it’s been eye-opening to be able to feed 30 people with such a low budget.”

While the league has been limited to the Panhandle thus far, Johnson and Fitzgibbons say they are working towards expanding the event to other neighborhoods, and a wider group of participants. They are currently working with potential facilitators to stage Urban Eating League events in the Mission and Sunset.

The next Urban Eating League will take place on May 14. Sign ups take place on May 8 at the Divisadero farmer’s market, starting at 10 a.m. Visit www.wiggparty.org for more information

5 Things: April 22, 2011

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>>BLACK WHEELS Three reasons why African-Americans should ride bicycles, brought to you courtesy of community two-wheeler group Red Bike and Green. One, health: the exercise can counter obesity and chronic disease. Two, economics: why drop all your cash into a car pit when you can put it to brightening your present and future? Three, environment: environmental racism — including pollution in low-income communities — has gone on too long, and you can do you part to change it. Now that we have that out of the way, check out Red Bike and Green’s first “black Critical Mass” of the year in Oakland on Sat/23. Bikes: too many good reasons to ride them.

>>LOCAL BOY DONE GOOD Reynaldo Cayentano Jr. grew up on Sixth Street, and he’s not going anywhere. The City College student and photographer recently opened up gallery space with cohort Chris Beale in the old District Attorney’s office, but the two will be throwing their Sat/23 “Native Taste” party at the House Kombucha factory, where they’ll showcase the work of 13 local artists and the hip-hop stylings of Patience. Speaking of local boys, have you heard the new SF anthem by Equipto and Mike Marshall?

Equipto ft. Mike Marshall, “Heart and Soul”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3Fh0dXpuco&feature=player_embedded

>>GOOD & PLENTY CHEAP There’s nothing we like better than good, cheap stuff. Not the cheap, cheap stuff of a Walmart or Kmart, or the good, pricey stuff of a Neiman Marcus or Bloomingdale’s. Good. Cheap. Stuff. And in pursuit of said stuff, we know that many of our fellow city dwellers have checked out a City Car Share car for the express purpose of driving to Serramonte Shopping Center in Daly City and hitting the Daiso store. Put away that gas tank: now we have our own Daiso store, newly opened in Japantown. Since most of the items cost $1.50, a $20 bill will get you a Santa Claus-size bagful of beautiful origami paper, clever lunch boxes, kitchenware, or whatever strikes your fancy from Daiso’s — no jive — selection of 70,000 good, cheap goods.

>>THEY WALK AMONG US It isn’t often that we indulge in a little unabashed fandom when a celebrity comes to our city/ashram. After all, we have our standards (smart, funny, left-leaning, maybe a pot bust or two), which rules out your Biebers, your Gagas, your Cruises ‘n’ Holmeses. We also believe that a man with a three-day stubble muttering to himself as he walks down the street has a right to his private musings. But when that man is Alec Baldwin, well, we have to stop, give him a deep Zen bow, tell him he’s welcome here, and report back. We have no idea why Baldwin is here – a Giants game? No, they’re on the road. SFIFF? No, we would have heard. Filming an episode of 30 Rock, Alcatraz Edition? Possibly –- and truthfully, we don’t care. We will take this no further. No tweets, no nothing. Because we want him to come back -– with Tina Fey.

>>THE GOOD BOOKS
A few minutes spent reading a good, cheap book can add some insight and perspective to anyone’s day, and this weekend presents a reason to look for said books. The San Francisco Public Library’s 50th Anniversary Book Sale is going on at the Fort Mason Center Festival Pavilion until Sun/24, with everything on sale for three dollars or less. Books, DVDs, CDs, tapes, and other media are available, and on the sale’s final day, nothing will cost more than a dollar.