sfbg

Slut-muscle mania

3

By Juliette Tang

dossie_front0609.jpg

While some of us can’t even handle being in a single relationship much less multiple relationships, The Ethical Slut author Dossie Easton has been non-monogamous since 1969. Easton will be at the Center for Sex and Culture (1519 Mission St) tomorrow (June 5, 2-4pm, $5-$10 sliding scale) for a book signing, reading, and discussion of The Ethical Slut‘s recently released second edition, which contains two new chapters (Opening an Existing Relationship, Lifestyles of the Single Slut) and extensive rewrites, particularly around the topic that is inherent in any discussion of polyamory: jealousy. For those who engage in polyamory – or for those merely interested in the possibilities – Easton’s book is a straightforward, informative, and illuminating resource on consensual non-monogamy as a lifestyle.

Polyamory will always be a controversial subject as long as monogamy is the cultural norm. Not only is marriage an inherently monogamous institution (and an institution that is now best described as bullshit in the state of California), but we even tend to think of dating as a series of monogamous relationships separated from one another by fallow periods of ‘singlehood’ that only end when we meet the next person we want to be monogamous with. This idea of having “one” partner is reinforced everywhere, from culture to ethics to law, and it’s ingrained in the very rituals and ideologies that dictate our social behavior.

Super Ego: Love for the sake of love

0

By Marke B.

Love for the Sake of Love party promo

SF club scene mover and shaker — and stunning video artiste — Christopher McVick has launched an effort to help Galveston, TX, celebrate Juneteenth — the wonderful holiday that celebrates the abolition of slavery. Galveston was where the original celebration took place, but the annual tradition has been threatened by last year’s heinous Hurrican Ike. So several beloved SF nightlife personalities and bands are coming together this Sunday at SubMission (the old Balazo space) and raising money to help this awesome tradition continue. Full lineup — including DJ Omar, House of Salad, fAction, and We are of Atlantis — after the jump.

Love for the Sake of Love
Sun/7, 8pm-midnight, all ages
$10-$20 donation for 21+
$15-$20 donation for 18-20
No one will be turned away for lack of funds!
Sub/Mission
2183 Mission, SF
www.sfheartsgalveston.com

Hot sex events this week

0

Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

spreadmag_0609.jpg
Explore the origins of the magazine made for sexworkers during Saturday’s film festival at the Roxie.

————-

>> In Our Own Image
Representatives from the Sex Workers Empowerment Project (SWEP) $pread Magazine will be on hand (ha ha) at the screening of this documentary on sex worker-made media and $pread itself — all as part of the final days of the 6th Annual Sex Worker Film, Art, and Music Festival. (Other films also run all day, from noon past midnight.)

Sat/6. 2pm. $8 per show, $30 day pass.
Roxie
3117 16th St., SF
www.sexworkerfest.com

————-

>> “Identity”
In honor of the National Queer Arts Festival, Femina Potens presents an exhibit dedicated to exploring constructions of gender identity. Celebrate opening night with artists Jess T. Dugan, Melvyn Herrick, Julie Sutherland, and Fakir Musafar, along with more queer comrades.

Sat/6. 7-10pm.
Femina Potens
2199 Market, SF
(415) 864-1558
www.feminapotens.org

————-

>> San Francisco is Burning
Cheer on Michelle Tea’s House of RADAR in this competitive fashion show featuring writers and performers from the RADAR series, where all proceeds benefit Queer Cultural Center.

Sat/7. 7pm. $20-$50.
SOMArts
934 Brannan, SF
www.queerculturalcenter.org

————-

>> Different Strokes
Think hand jobs are simple? Think again. Learn the secrets of making basic handwork into a gourmet treat, from warm-up to happy ending and bringing prostate and anal play into the mix.

Mon/8. 8pm, $25-$30.
Good Vibrations
2504 San Pablo Ave, Berk
(510) 841-8987
www.goodvibes.com

Male sex worker art: first night not so exciting

17

By Juliette Tang

One thing I never thought I’d see in my life: an 85-year-old man in an orange paisley pashmina and a red beret screaming “Gum my cock” in front of a crowd of reverent observers. But on Wednesday night at Army of Lovers, held at the Center for Sex and Culture (1519 Mission St) in conjunction with this week’s Sex Workers Fest, that was exactly what I saw. Unfortunately, I don’t have a transcription of the full text, but trust that it included highly homoerotic descriptions of a bathroom orgy at the Embarcadero, a heavy bondage S&M scene between a sex master and his sex slave, and the aforementioned cock-gumming scene between the author and a toothless young man in suede pants.

sexwork10609.jpg
George Birishma at Army of Lovers

sexwork20609.jpg
George Birishma, 1955. Yowza!

Hearing octogenarian playwright George Birishma read from his 1977 novel, S&M Gym, was well worth suffering through some of the night’s other performances. Army of Lovers, a two-night spectacle featuring art, video, and performance by men who have worked in the sex industry, opened on Wednesday with performances by Birishma and 9 other former (and some current) sex workers that touched on themes of sexuality, eroticism, isolation, fear, community, and home. Curated by Kirk Read, a former sex worker and current writer, both Wednesday and Thursday showings were completely sold out.

Sexy, scary surfers tonight at Zombie Beach Party

0

By Molly Freedenberg

hhrldgcreepshow_patrickmccarthy_0609.jpg
The Living Dead Girls were sexy and scary at Hubba Hubba’s Creepshow Peepshow last year. Photo by Patrick McCarthy.

Here’s the setting: If Annette came back from the dead and ate Frankie’s brains. If Gidget gorged on Moon Dog’s entrails before catching a sweet wave. If Brian Wilson were not just King of the Beach Boys but King of the Undead. If the Australian altrock band were called Dead Can Surf. If all you needed for a day at Baker was a big towel, a good book, and a large giblet smoothie…

Yup. It’s Zombie Beach Party. And it’s gonna be awesome.

I don’t only say that because I’m going to be in it. In fact, the new dance my Richard Cheese-inspired troupe, the Cheese Puffs, will debut on Friday has plenty of potential to go horribly wrong – in the form of 7 bounce-able, lose-able, unpredictable beach balls (though, to be fair, they’ll be bounced or lost or — gasp! — even kept by 7 adorable showgirls).

No, it’s because so much of the evening has the potential to go horribly, grotesquely, disgustingly right.

The event at DNA is co-hosted by Hubba Hubba Revue — the wacky variety/burlesque production team that brings vaudeville-style antics to Oakland’s Uptown every Monday, to DNA Lounge at least every month, and, increasingly, to other events around town (if it’s bawdy, sexy, well-organized, and funny, it’s probably Hubba Hubba’s doing) — and the Living Dead Girlz — the troupe of sexy undead dancers whose (actual dance) choreography is matched only by their zombie-licious costumery and storylines.

Between Kingfish and Eddie’s banter and the LDG’s guaranteed sexiness, you might not even need another reason to go. But just in case, keep in mind the rest of the show will feature burlesque favorites like Sparkly Devil (who performed at last year’s Best of the Bay party), Honey Lawless, and Dottie Lux, all doing their nearly-naked best to honor surf and zombie movies of yore.

Zombie Beach Party
Friday, June 5
9pm-late
$7 with costume, $10 without
DNA Lounge
375 11th St., SF
www.dnalounge.com

ZBP_b500[2].jpg

Covet adorns the Richmond

0

By Mayka Mei

covetWindow_0609.jpg
Freshly lettered windows welcome Covet to the Richmond.

It was just another day in late April when Adrienne Lee Wiley was wandering through the Richmond. En route to picking up her husband from the airport, she saw a “For Lease” sign in a storefront on Arguello. It stuck in her mind. By her husband’s urgings, she contacted the owner. All it took was one more phone call to colleague Liza Anongchanya, and the two became co-founders of the new jewelry store, Covet.

If ever there were a reality show challenging its competitors to flip a store in two months, Wiley and Anongchanya would surely come out on top. It was never even a dream of Anongchanya’s, she says, to run a boutique, but now her Ofina line of jewelry is displayed prominently alongside Wiley’s Frolick label inside the pair’s very own shop.

It was all “very, very fast,” says Wiley.

“I hadn’t even showered yet!” Anongchanya, says of the moment when Wiley first phoned her. It seems Wiley convinced her partner just enough with the promise that the new store would also include studio space.

The two jewelry designers met about two years ago at the San Francisco event formerly known as Capsule (which re-emerged as Union Design Festival last weekend). Months later, they unexpectedly ran into each other at America’s Mart in Atlanta. Eventually, the two made their individual ways to San Francisco – Wiley via Atlanta, Anongchanya via Los Angeles – where they were both drawn to the area’s appreciation for the arts.

“The people and the vibe is so much better here,” Anongchanya says, comparing San Francisco to the Los Angeles jewelry-making scene. “They don’t try to haggle you down.”

Street Threads: Look of the Day

0

SFBG photog Ariel Soto scoops SF street fashion. See the previous Look of the Day here.

Today’s Look: Allison, 24th Street BART station

Allison10609.jpg

Tell us about your look: “My friend gave me this t-shirt and the bike cap is my boyfriends.”

Review: “A Snow Mobile for George” at the Burning Fuse Film Festival

0

By Laura Swanbeck

snowmobileposter.jpg

Confounded after Bush (the “George” in question here) allows manufacturers to reintroduce a discontinued snowmobile engine that pollutes 100 times more than a car, director Todd Darling set out across America looking for answers. With Sindy, his snowmobile in tow, he documents the devastating impact of deregulation on the environment, including wildlife endangerment in California, water depletion in Wyoming, and asbestos contamination in post-9/11 New York City. Refreshingly unpretentious and even-keeled, Darling interviews everyday ranchers, fishermen, and firemen, listening to opponents and proponents of Bush’s policies alike. He truly hits his stride by exposing Federal conflicts of interest and illuminating the political power play behind-the scenes. In the end, the film finally answers its original query, but asks other lingering questions like, “Does less regulation really mean more freedom… and at what price?” Sure, Snow Mobile’s humor can be a bit hokey, but the sentiment is spot-on.

A Snow Mobile for George screens Sun/7-Mon/8, 6 p.m. as part of the Burning Fuse Film Festival, which runs today and Sun/7-Mon/8 at the Roxie .

Finally, some justice for John “J.J.” Tennison

2

35.16cover_web.jpgresized.jpg

Text by Sarah Phelan
As the Chronicle reports today, the city has agreed to pay $4.5 million to John “J.J.” Tennison, who spent almost 14 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit.

What the Chronicle doesn’t mention is the work of former Bay Guardian investigative reporter A.C. Thompson, whose award-winning series on the case went a long way in helping to reverse the conviction of Tennison and his alleged accomplice Antoine Goff, who were sentenced to life for the execution of Roderick “Cooley” Shannon in a lonely Vis Valley parking lot in August 1989.

“After my journalistic probe, I felt fairly certain that a terrible injustice had been done, that Tennison and Goff had not killed Shannon, that police and prosecutors had engaged in dubious behavior-and that the real executioner was walking the streets,” wrote Thompson in September 2003, shortly after Tennison’s life sentence was overturned.

And while it’s a triumph of sorts that the city has agreed to compensate Tennison, whoever executed the 18-year-old Shannon almost 20 years ago, “with shotgun blasts to the shoulder and head,” as Thompson’ reported in 2001 in his kick-off piece “The Hardest Time,“is still at large.

When Thompson started digging into the case in 2001, he found that “police linked Shannon’s murder to a raging war between hoodsters from Vis Valley and Hunter’s Point. Young people-mostly African American-in the two housing project-heavy districts were waging a bloody battle for control of the drug trade, a battle that had escalated into a string of life-for-life revenge killings.”

Both Tennison and Goff had alibis, but even as Thompson dug deep and masterfully laid out at the weaknesses, flaws and inconsistencies in the so-called evidence against them, he wasn’t holding his breath that justice would be served.

“Still, I never expected the two men to go free,” Thompson admitted in 2003. “The criminal justice system is stacked against convicts who assert their innocence.”

But after another judge freed Tennison’s codefendant, Antoine Goff, who was serving 27 years to life, and a Superior Court judge declared both men innocent, Tennison and Goff sued in federal court, saying the city had violated their civil rights.

Last month, the city attorney’s office reached a proposed settlement with Tennison. Goff’s case will go on trial later this year.

But to date, former Chief of Police of San Francisco, Earl Sanders, Detective Napoleon Hendrix, and other police officers associated with the CRUSH violent crimes unit, which was involved in investigating the case, and prosecutor George Butterworth, have walked away unscathed, even though Thompson dug up all kinds of evidence that suggested that the police had engaged in misconduct in helping to put Tennison and Goff behind bars.

As Thompson’s articles revealed, witnesses were coached to lie that Tennison and Goff committed the murder. The existence of witnesses who said that the men were innocent and that another had done the killing were hidden from the defense. And when someone confessed to the crime, they didn’t tell the defense.

This malpractice of the law and malfesance lead to Tennison and Goff rotting behind bars for thirteen years. But after Thompson’s initial cover story on Tennison, The Hardest Time, came out in 2001, Tennison’s brother, who worked in a parking lot near the offices of noted defense lawyer John Keker, put copies of the article on the windshield of every car, hoping some lawyer would read it and offer to help. And that’s what happened.

Two of Keker’s associates Ethan Balogh and Elliot Peters picked up on the case and helped Public Defender Jeff Adachi and a team of lawyers win Tennison’s freedom, work ing their asses off for three years pro bono.

Thompson has previously stated that he’d like to write a book when the whole saga plays itself out, called A Black on Black Crime, “because the two homicide detectives were famous African-American detectives, and the two dudes who were framed were innocent average black dudes from the hood.”
He couldn’t be reached for comment today, but here’s hoping he’s polishing the final chapters, right about now.

Street Threads: Look of the Day

0

SFBG photog Ariel Soto scoops SF street fashion. See the previous Look of the Day here.

Today’s Look: Claudia and John, Dolores Park

ClaudiaandJohn0609.jpg

Tell us about your look: “Mariachi and sangria.”

Goorin Brothers — SF soul on top, all over

0

By Mayka Mei

goorin1_0609.jpg
Real throwback style at the new Goorin Brothers store on Haight.

Passing on from nuts to hats. Such was the transition as the historic Morrow’s Nut House gave way to a new Goorin Brothers store. Last weekend the worldwide hat manufacturer opened two new shops in San Francisco, forming a three-store family within the city.

Friday kicked off with the grand opening at 111 Geary. San Francisco natives may know it as the Nut House, but the previous owner of the 70-year old institution has finally handed the keys over to Goorin Brothers CEO Ben Goorin. In finding the next tenant, (all nuthead puns aside) working with Goorin Brothers was absolutely intentional. “They definitely wanted somebody that was like us,” Goorin said. “[A] San Francisco-based company that’s been around with family roots here.”

Suck some heads at the SF Crawfish Boil & Ho-down

2

By Victoria Nguyen

crawfishboil0609.jpg
Flickr photo by Janice Myint

In a little more than 72 hours, San Francisco’s Crissy Field will be the site of a mass massacre when 45,000 live crawfish meet their death in heavily spiced pots of boiling water.

It’s going to be chaotic. It’s going to be messy. It’s going to be absolutely friggin’ delicious.

This Saturday, a little bit of the Bayou Country comes to the Bay Area at the 6th Annual San Francisco Crawfish Boil & Ho-Down. According to event coordinators, this year’s turnout promises to be their largest to date, with expected attendance doubling from last year’s. The Crawfish Boil, which runs from 11am-7 p.m. at the western end of Crissy Field, will feature a live jazz band with approximately 3,000 pounds of spicy Louisiana crawfish and all you can drink beer.

The event began modestly in 2003, when two guys from Mobile, Alabama hosted a crawfish boil for a group of 25 in Golden Gate Park. Five years later, that group became 500. This year, they’re capping off the event at 1,000 folks.

“The great thing is we never started this with the intention of what it has turned into,” said Jonathan Wiggins, one of the co-founders of the event. “I think this crawfish boil event has the potential to be another big festival here in San Francisco.”

“Boob in a Glass” new “Dick in a Box”

0

“Come support SF’s Lusty Lady Theater, the one and only unionized worker-owned peep-show co-op, and their saucy presence in SF Pride 2009! Strippers, dancers, performance, DJ Durt, dykes, debauchery, raffle, panty and date auction, lapdances, bodyshots, and you….”

Lusty Lady Pride Float Benefit Party
Sat/13, 9pm
Lexington Club
3464 19th St, SF
www.lexingtonclub.com

Sushi sex: Japanese art porn comes to the Roxie

1

By Juliette Tang

ssr06091.jpg

No one does weird art porn like the Japanese, and this week, San Francisco gets to ride the bizarre train all the way to Tokyo. Inexplicably sexy and intentionally funny, Silence of the Sushi Rolls is coming to the Roxie Theater (3117 16th Street) on Friday. Hurray for porn being shown in real theaters! And as a part of the San Francisco Independent Film Festival’s Another Hole in the Head Fest, no less.

Why is it that when porn requires active subtitles, it magically becomes more high-brow? Because there’s nothing high-brow about this movie. It’s a guilty pleasure you won’t want to write home about. And, that said, you should totally go to see it anyway. Silence of the Sushi Rolls is the fourth film in an amazingly ludicrous series of “action comedy” softcore films known as the “Female Detective Molester Buster” series. The hilarity of porn titles, it appears, transcends culture. My favorite title is the Female Detective Molester Buster 2: Catch You With My Breasts. Who knew boobs made for such great law enforcement equipment?

ssr06092.jpg

In true Japanese softcore fashion, Silence of the Sushi Rolls kicks off with a woman getting molested. Those sensitive to scenes depicting sexual assault should take note not to attend (and to avoid all Japanese pornography henceforth). But to be fair, the assault scenes are so obviously fake and the attacks are so staged, it reminds me way more of that scene in Lost in Translation when an escort barges into Bill Murray’s hotel room and starts rolling around on the floor screaming “Lip my stocking! Lip my stocking!” than anything else.

Film: The disturbed harmony of “Revanche”

0

By Erik Morse

revancheposter.jpg
Revanche was a 2009 Best Foreign Language Film Oscar nominee.

In the brief overture to Revanche, Austrian director Götz Spielmann includes an orchestra of chirping crickets and the mellifluous hum of a lawnmower laboring through viridescent patches of Viennese countryside. A plump housewife Susanne (Ursula Strauss), possibly with child, stares silently at this painterly expanse of beauty from the comfort of her modern kitchen. Somewhere nearby a limpid brook babbles quietly, its stunning combination of color and repose rivaling those placid marshes of Giverny. A large rock suddenly falls through the glassy surface of the pond, shattering the bucolic idyll and sending a discordant wave of water toward its banks. Something or someone has disturbed the harmony of this peaceful retreat and the resulting ripple might well threaten everyone in its path.

“in/divisible” dances past Prop 8 and beyond

0

By Rita Felciano

369-stagebox.jpg

The fact that the state Supreme Court upheld Proposition 8 probably was no surprise to Dance Ceres choreographer-dancer Brittany Brown Ceres, since the aftershock of the proposition’s passage coincided with her residency at CounterPULSE. But it probably did strengthen her faith in dance’s ability to suggest and strengthen concepts of community, self, and instigating and supporting change. The upcoming in/divisible, presented as part of this year’s National Queer Arts Festival, may also serve as an affirmation for those engaged in the ongoing struggle for equality. Though there is nothing overtly political about Brown Ceres’ choreography, her dances are forceful and affirming of female identity. At their best, they draw you in because of the complexity of the impulses that generate and control them. Still, if you look closely, you can see how they undermine conventional mores and ingrained patterns of thought. But they mostly convince because they are so beautifully and emotionally logical in the way they communicate. For in/divisible, Brown Ceres is collaborating with two soul mates. Aerial artist Sonya Smith complements her own (physically) more gravity-bound choreography. Joining them from San Diego is Sadie Weinberg with American Torch Songs, a set of short dances that look back at one of the universal high school experiences: getting dumped.

IN/DIVISIBLE Thurs/4–Sat/6, 8 p.m., $15. CounterPULSE, 1310 Mission, SF. 1-800-838-3006. www.brownpapertickets.com

Street Threads: Look of the Day

0

SFBG photog Ariel Soto scoops SF street fashion. See the previous Look of the Day here.

Today’s Look: Xoey, 24th Street and Harrison

Xoey0609.jpg

Tell us about your look: “It takes me half an hour to get my hair done in the morning.”

Nite Trax: The Field

0

By Johnny Ray Huston

fieldtyestod0609.jpg

Axel Willner of the Field borrows with the insightful and transformative intent of a master curator. On the title track finale of the Field’s almost unanimously acclaimed From Here We Go Sublime (Kompakt, 2007), that means tapping into the Flamingos’ 1959 "I Only Have Eyes for You." Kenneth Anger exploited that recording’s deeply unsettling quality in the 1972 version of his Rabbit’s Moon, paving the way for a dozen or more David Lynch imitations of such a tactic. Willner’s trick was to distill the spectral eeriness of the recording into pure essence.

The Field, “Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometime”

On the new Yesterday and Today (ANTI-/Kompakt), Willner’s something-borrowed gambit is a cover of the Korgis’ glacial 1980 ballad "Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometime." On the surface level of trend, this is almost a stale move: Justice recently incorporated the Korgis’ original into a mix, and Beck also has recorded a version. But Willner’s interpretation is far superior. It is both minimalist and majestic. Here the sublime resides in what Willner leaves out: the chorus. In place of words, he piles layer upon layer of his trademark ghostly hums and drones so that a sonic cave becomes a cathedral. It’s gorgeous.

Marke B chimes in: And check out this abso-brill recent collab between my favorite band of 2008, Foals, and Mr. Field-good. Rumor is more to come with the release of Foals’ second album this year …

The Field, “Foals Xiii (Foals Remix)”

The Field
opening for The Juan Maclean
Sat/6, 9 p.m., $20
Mezzanine
444 Jessie, SF
(415) 625-8880
www.mezzaninesf.com

alt.sex.column: Objects in mirror

0

By Andrea Nemerson. View more alt.sex columns here. Email your questions to Andrea: andrea@altsexcolumn.com.

AltSex_Icon.jpg

Dear Readers:
Since I can’t write this week, I thought I could at least rerun a letter germane to recent discussions.

Dear Andrea:

I met a guy through his very explicit and fun Craigslist ad describing the weird-ass kinky sex he wanted. So we e-mailed, met, and had a great time. He’s handsome, intelligent, artsy … totally my type. We end up in bed, he gives me some quality oral sex, and then he ejaculates within two minutes. He makes no move to get me off either, just makes some remark about that being "my random Craigslist hookup." I’m too flabbergasted to ask for more oral sex. And then he wants to spend the night and cuddle. I’m frustrated and confused, but let him, and don’t comment on his premature ejaculation for fear of damaging his ego. Later we have sex again, and again he ejaculates within minutes. What do I do when he calls? What should I have said at the time?

Love,

UnListed

Dear List:

I once sat on a panel with Craig from Craiglist and I’m imagining him being mortified by this entire story. He’s a shy boy. I would also dearly love to link to the offending ad, but it seems faintly unethical, although it’s often said that once you post something on the Web, it’s public, period, and ripe for linkage. He’s probably taken it down by now, anyway.

Mayhem: The most fucked-up band on the planet?

0

By Tony Papanikolas

369-musabox.jpg

Since 1984, Oslo’s favorite sons Mayhem have had a reasonable claim to the title of most fucked-up band on the planet, the eagerly repeated stories of the lurid spectacle that is their live show representing only some of the milder aspects of their mythos. Colorful history aside, the men of Mayhem have established themselves as architects of the modern black metal sound, taking the nasty musicianship and overt occultism of Venom and early Bathory and using them as the foundation for a terrifying new kind of metal that mixes breakneck drums, guttural riffs, and croaking vocals with eerie, understated melody. Often imitated, the 25-year veterans’ unique style is seldom matched in terms of sheer, unhinged intensity.

Co-headliners Marduk, one of countless bands to follow in Mayhem’s footsteps, spent the better part of its career becoming even more gruesome and unpalatable to mainstream audiences with each successive album, until it was not inconceivable to mention the satanic Swedes in the same breath as their more established tour mates. By the late 1990s, Marduk began branching out instrumentally, refining its musicianship while remaining true to the genre it helped pioneer.

The two black metal greats are supported by a diverse collection of bands taken from all corners of the extreme metal scene. Progressive, black metal-inspired Withered makes a logical opener, and the presence of dizzying grindcore virtuosos Cephalic Carnage is strange but welcome. Rounding out the bill is the brutal Cattle Decapitation, a consistent favorite among fans of uncompromising, technical death metal. Fans of life-affirming music would do well to avoid this show.

MAYHEM Wed/3, 6 p.m., $25–$30, all ages. DNA Lounge 375 11th St., SF. (415) 626-1409. www.dnalounge.com

The Blender: What we’ve been eating

0

By the munchy Guardian staff

frybread0609.jpg
Delicious fry bread

(1) Geoduck and chocolate cherry tart, Moss Room, SF

(2) Indian fry bread, Tuba City, Navajo Nation

(3) Mulligatawny soup and benghan bhartha, delivered by Bombay Indian, SF

(4) Domaine Drouhin "Laurene" 2001, Aureole, Las Vegas

(5) Airport food: mediocre fare, astronomical prices (punishment for those who don’t plan ahead)

Stop the pube police!

3

By Juliette Tang

coconuts0609.jpg

There is a famous hairy ball theorem in algebraic topology which states that, on a spherical object, there is no non-vanishing continuous vector field. Basically, if you have a hairy ball, mathematically speaking, you cannot flatten all the hairs so that they all lay down smoothly. Some hairs will always stand up straight or create a bald spot where the scalp of the ball will show through.

Or, as famously stated by Luitzen Egbertus Jan Brouwer in 1912, “you can’t comb a hairy ball flat without creating a cowlick” — an assertion was also stated from time to time by Brouwer as “You can’t comb the hair on a coconut.”

The truth and practicality of this theorem has never been quite as urgent as it is today. With the launch of a recent ad campaign encouraging men to shave their balls, the hairy ball theorem has become not merely a principle associated with mathematics, but one that we can and must apply to real life. Just as you can’t comb a hairy ball without making it look all bent out of shape, you can’t really shave your man groin without expecting something funky to happen when the hair starts fighting back. Hairless balls may sound somewhat appealing if you’re a frequent teabagger, but sandpaper-covered stubbly balls definitely do not. Equally unappetizing are balls covered in razorburn or rash due to frequent shaving.

Ball shaving is one sex trend I cannot excited about.

Vigil for Hugues de la Plaza this Saturday

2

clouseauimage.jpgredux.jpg
Will the French be able to crack a case that has baffled SFPD investigators?

Text by Sarah Phelan

The mystery surrounding the death of Hugues de la Plaza began on June 2, 2007, when a neighbor noticed blood on the front porch of his Hayes Valley apartment. Two years later, friends of the 36-year-old de la Plaza, who had dual French and American citizenship, are holding a vigil to keep attention on the case, which, they believe, remains unresolved by the SFPD, because of failure of leadership at the highest levels of San Francisco city government.

And his grief-struck parents are offering a $100,000 reward for information on the case.

A January 2008 San Francisco Medical Examiner/Investigator’s report, concluded that the cause of de la Plaza’s death was “multiple stab wounds” but that the manner was “undetermined.”

“On 06/02/2007 at about 0810 hours a neighbor of the subject came out of his apartment to the front porch to collect his newspaper,” stated the report. “He noted a large amount of blood drops on the porch, a blood trail leading to the subject’s apartment, and blood dripping from the subject’s apartment door knob.”

After emergency services were contacted, police got into de la Plaza’s apartment by forcing entry through a back dead-bolted door.

“Investigation at the scene revealed the subject, dressed in cut away street clothing and shoes, to be supine in the front room of his apartment,” the investigator’s report continued. “There were copious amount of frank (sic) and partially dried blood on the floor and wall near him. A broken wine glass was noted on the floor of the front room. Bloody handprints were noted on the wall across from the subject. The door to the front room was dead bolted as well as the back door of the apartment where the police forced entry.”

But despite this gruesome scene, neighbors, friends and relatives felt that the SFPD decided early on that his death was a suicide. They point to questions the police asked and to parts of the Medical Examiner’s report, as evidence that investigators believed de la Plaza killed himself:

“On the coffee table in the front room was a bloody open lap top computer and notebook, devoid of apparent blood, with the following two sentences on the visible page: “learn as if you were to live forever” and “live as if you were to die tomorrow,” the investigator’s report stated.

Maker Faire top 5: Best of Bazaar Bizarre

0

Guardian style writer Mayka Mei chooses her favorite vendors in Maker Faire’s retail area.

1. Nouveau Motley

maker1_0609.png

While many jewelers dabbling in steampunk styles are merely gluing dusted watch gears onto rings, Nouveau Motley is setting the standard for what sophisticated steampunk jewelry should be. From the longevity of the metals to the sensitivity of the resins, Rachael Victoria Adams’ thorough understanding of her materials is evident in the craftsmanship of her wares. Design-wise, no one has ever made a mouse skull so attractive, and one look at the mystifying Kafka Clock (a Nouveau Motley exclusive) will make you consider abandoning your digital watch entirely. (Or any other fully operating clocks, for that matter.)

www.nouveaumotley.etsy.com

2. Nous Savons

maker2_0609.png

Jocelyn Nguyen claims her background in tailoring is unexciting, but the story that she picked up sewing from her mother without vested interests in making it her vocation is perhaps the most charming part about Nous Savons. Among the vintage-inspired jewelry and specially blended mulch (really), you’ll find her reconstructed clothing. Pictured above is a reconstructed vest paired with a handmade woolen scarf. Prices are extremely reasonable considering the knowledge required in detaching sleeves from blazers and reincarnating them as ruffles.

www.noussavons.com