Water

How California exports water

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By Patrick Porgans

In 2009, the last year of the so-called great California drought, a strange thing happened: Sacramento Valley growers produced a near record amount of rice, and down south, the Metropolitan Water District of Southern California (Met), the largest urban water supplier in the nation, experienced record-breaking water sales. All this despite repeated mainstream media accounts in 2009 of an economy-wrecking dust bowl water shortage.

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the California rice harvest in 2009 was up 9 percent from the previous year and approached the record crop of 2004.

Rice consumes a great deal of water for its dollar value and produces little net income. According to a report by the University of California, Davis, the minimum amount of water required to grow a crop of rice is about 42 inches per acre. Unavoidable losses can add to this amount — so that the amount of water consumed (or evaporated) can be as much as 100 inches per acre, depending on the soil. That appears to be enough water to drown the tallest person on earth.

The California Rice Commission, a trade group representing 2,500 rice farmers, estimates that rice uses 2.2 million acre-feet of irrigation water yearly, about 2.6 percent of the state’s total water supply. According to records obtained from Met, that’s equal to the annual average water it supplied to all of its 19 million customers.

UC Davis data from 2008 show that California exported 52 percent of its rice production, much of it to Japan. For every pound of rice exported, about 250 gallons of embedded water used in growing and processing that rice leaves along with it, according to “Water Footprints of Nations,” a 2004 UNESCO study. (The report spawned the Web site www.waterfootprint.com.)

The rice harvest should be of great consolation to the chairman of the California State Water Resources Control Board, Charles Hoppin, who is also a rice grower, vice-chairman of the Rice Growers Cooperative, and immediate past chairman of the California Rice Industry Association. Chairman Hoppin, in a March 2010 speech in Yuma, Ariz., complained that the regulatory community, including much of his staff, doesn’t know or understand the issues facing agriculture and “doesn’t give a rat’s ass.”

According to the Environmental Working Group, rice subsidies in California totaled $2.4 billion from 1995-2009. In that period, the single largest recipient of subsidies was the Farmers’ Rice Cooperative of Sacramento, California, totaling more than $146 million.

Farm recipients of USDA subsidies in California totaled $9.1 billion from 1995-2009.According to EWG, “Washington paid out a quarter of a trillion dollars in federal farm subsidies between 1995 and 2009. But to characterize the programs as either a big government bailout or another form of welfare would be manifestly unfair — to bailouts and welfare.” Then there’s hay — another water-gulping product that’s getting exported, with much of it going to Japan.

Writer Melinda Burns, in a June 10, 2009 story on Miller-McCune.com, notes: “In the Imperial Valley of California, a region drier than part of the Sahara Desert, farmers have found a lucrative market abroad for a crop they grow with Colorado River water: They export bales of hay to land-poor Japan. Since the mid-1980s, this arid border region of California has been supplying hay and feed for Japan’s dairy cows and black-haired cattle, the kind that get daily massages, are fed beer, and produce the most tender Kobe beef.”

She quotes Patrick Woodall, research director at Food and Water Watch, an international consumer advocacy group with headquarters in Washington, D.C.: “There is a kind of insanity about this,” Woodall said. “Exporting water in the form of crops is giving water away from thirsty communities and infringing on their ability to deal with water scarcity.”

Fighting dirty

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rebeccab@sfbg.com

One by one, representatives from California local governments who had gone toe-to-toe with Pacific Gas & Electric Co. recounted their war stories. They were weary, fatigued, and uncertain of the future. Their resources had been depleted by hefty legal expenses, and they were forever caught up in the game of trying to undo the damage of misinformation campaigns whipped up against them by PG&E. None had ever suspected that following state law would be so arduous.

At a Nov. 8 hearing of the California Senate Select Committee on Renewable Energy, held in San Rafael, officials from the San Joaquin Valley, Marin County, and San Francisco spoke about challenges they faced trying to initiate community choice aggregation (CCA) programs, which would create alternative electricity providers to PG&E.

In accordance with Assembly Bill 117, which allows local governments to purchase power in bulk and distribute it to a customer base using the infrastructure and billing systems operated by investor-owned utilities, representatives from local government agencies said they pursued CCAs to bolster local economies and benefit the environment — but quickly fell prey to fierce marketing campaigns.

So far, PG&E hasn’t faced any real consequences for trying to derail its competitors using unethical and sometimes illegal tactics, and the director of the California Public Utilities Commission, Paul Clanon, did not commit to imposing fines or sanctions against the company.

 

COOPERATING FULLY

Despite a requirement under AB117 that utilities must “cooperate fully” with CCA implementation, agency representatives testified that PG&E consistently tried to obstruct their success. The San Joaquin Valley Joint Power Authority’s CCA effort was suspended after a protracted legal battle, and has yet to be revisited.

At the hearing, Sen. Mark Leno listened attentively and offered sympathetic words of encouragement. “It is a superhuman accomplishment that you are even here with us today,” he jested after Dawn Weisz, interim director of the Marin Energy Authority (MEA), finished describing a litany of tactics the monolithic utility employed against Marin’s CCA.

Marin’s experience may foreshadow what’s in store for San Francisco. CleanPower SF, the city’s CCA program, is picking up steam again after an initial attempt to hire a contractor failed to yield an acceptable agreement. On Nov. 5, the San Francisco Public Utilities Commission (SFPUC) announced it had received four responses to a second RFP for an electricity service provider to administer the city’s CCA.

Already San Francisco has weathered some attacks. Sup. Ross Mirkarimi, who chairs the Local Agency Formation Commission (LAFCo) and has been a key figure in moving CCA forward, characterized Marin and San Francisco as “brothers and sisters in arms,” saying, “We would share what we knew of what we could expect, because we were no strangers to these tactics.”

Weisz noted that early on, PG&E sent lobbyists to meet privately with local elected officials. Soon after, the company upped the ante with a negative marketing campaign, distributing mailers that contained misleading information about the program. Their activity prompted a rebuke — but no fines — from the CPUC. “I sent PG&E a letter to say knock it off,” Clanon said at the hearing.

PG&E also set up a phone-banking operation to dial up every prospective CCA customer in Marin County and encourage them to opt out of the program and used false information to persuade customers to stick with PG&E service, Weisz charged. “Many were led to believe that their lights wouldn’t go on if they didn’t opt out,” she said.

Once the CCA was in operation, PG&E imposed a delay on the billing process that made one month’s bill artificially low and the subsequent bill abnormally high, making it appear that CCA rates were higher than PG&E rates. This gaffe, which the company chalked up as a technical error, amounted to a sleight-of-hand: “Our rates were set to match PG&E rates,” Weisz explained.

PG&E did not return calls seeking comment.

Against all odds, Marin County is forging ahead with a power program that offers a 26.5 percent renewable energy mix, with 78 percent of its power generated without greenhouse gas emissions. State records show that only 14 percent of PG&E’s energy comes for renewable sources, failing to meet a state requirement that utilities get at least 20 percent of their power from such sources.

Charles McGlashan, a Marin County supervisor who chairs the Marin Energy Authority, noted that implementing a CCA was the most effective method the county could have employed to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, yielding an estimated 500,000-ton reduction of greenhouse gas emissions annually.

While the potential exists for other municipalities to follow suit, PG&E smear campaigns will likely discourage similar projects. “This is a powerful opportunity that has been virtually destroyed by the antics of PG&E,” McGlashan said. “It has had an extraordinary chilling effect on the political leaders to even embark on such an enterprise.” Later he added, “I’m only doing it because I’m so hell-bent on answering the children’s questions about climate change.”

 

STORM COMING

Meanwhile, in San Francisco, CCA advocates are getting ready to batten down the hatches. “We’re under no illusion — PG&E will compete fiercely,” San Francisco Public Utilities Commission spokesperson Charles Sheehan told the Guardian. He said the city was taking a proactive approach by conducting early outreach to residents and holding public informational meetings about CleanPower SF.

The SFPUC has received four bids from prospective electricity service providers. The respondents are Constellation Energy Commodities Group, Shell Energy North America, Power Choice Inc. (which was selected during the last RFP process but was unable to secure a binding agreement with the city), and Noble Americas Energy Solutions, formerly known as Sempra Energy Solutions. During the Senate hearing, San Francisco CCA director Mike Campbell noted that the city expected to complete a scoring process and select one of the four by the end of the year. The goal is to be fully operational by 2011, he added.

Leno predicted resistance from PG&E. “It’s like a storm coming in,” he said. “We have no doubt of its arrival. They have endless opportunities for nefarious creativity.” He queried Clanon on why the PUC wouldn’t levy fines or sanctions against the utility for the negative campaigns it waged in Marin, as a way to signal that such activity wouldn’t be tolerated in San Francisco.

Clanon did not commit to taking such an action. “That’s a choice about how you get the right behavior,” he said. He noted that the CPUC issued a decision last May preventing the utility from distributing false or misleading information about CCAs or illegally soliciting opt-outs. Clanon warned that PG&E might not be deterred by “fines and sanctions and specific rules.” Pressed on this point later, Clanon told the Guardian that imposing fines or sanctions “would take a lot of resources by us” at a time when the state agency is consumed with other pressing issues, such as the aftermath of the San Bruno explosion caused by a PG&E gas pipeline rupture. “If you set a rule, more people get around the rule,” he said.

Even if the state regulatory body doesn’t hold PG&E’s feet to the fire, Mirkarimi won’t hold back. “We’re tired of the thuggery. We’re tired of the bullying,” he said. He alluded to the Raker Act, a 1913 act of Congress that allowed San Francisco to build the O’Shaughnessy Dam and draw water from the Hetch Hetchy Reservoir under the condition that no private profit was derived from the development, saying the arrangement had been subverted by PG&E. “We should be able to chart our own energy destiny,” Mirkarimi said.

Live Shots: Dance Brigade, 11/12/2010

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They are part bird and part woman — the dancers in the all-female dance company Dance Brigade, in a current program entitled “Manifest!val for Social Change: Like Oil and Water, from Gaza to the Gulf,” moved between flight and rest.

Their dance tells the story of women in the Middle East, their movements hinting to a tragic ballet and the music being a version of the classic score from The Dying Swan. The dancers ability to combine pure grace and total frenzy was incredible, creating both an image of beauty and struggle in the same instant. Through Nov. 20, Dance Mission Theater will host fifteen different dance groups, as part of Dance Brigade’s Manifest!val for Social Change, which is a great opportunity for anyone to see some amazing local dancers, but also a chance to promote social awareness and community.

For more information about this weekend’s program, click here.

PS — and check out this preview video for Dance Brigade’s next program, “The Great Liberation Upon Hearing” coming in July 2011

Our Weekly Picks: November 10-16, 2010

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WEDNESDAY 10

EVENT

“Goldies After Party”

You dog-eared the pages of last week’s Guardian, reading about the Guardian Outstanding Local Discovery award winners. Tonight, head to 111 Minna to congratulate the artists in person — and to rock out at the free, open-to-the-public after party. Taking the stage: Oakland “slop-pop” rockers Bare Wires, SF popsters Brilliant Colors, dark post-punker Soft Moon (a.k.a. Luis Vasquez), pop sensation Myles Cooper (of “Gonna Find Boyfriends Today” fame) with club sensation Alexis Penney, and DJs Naoki Onodera and Primo Pitino. Don’t miss what’s sure to be a mother lode (yep, shameless gold joke) of a party! (Cheryl Eddy)

9 p.m., free

111 Minna Gallery

111 Minna, SF

www.sfbg.com/2010/11/03/goldies-2010

 

THEATER

Or,

Aphra Behn was a woman ahead of her time. A 17th century spy and the first professional female playwright, Aphra Behn is the topic of Liz Duffy Adams’ new play Or, at Magic Theatre. Full of sensationalism, sex, art, politics, and laughs, this comedy hosts a variety of eccentric characters including double agent William Scot, actress Nell Gwynne, and even King Charles II himself. Adams received the fifth Lillian Hellman Award for Playwrighting for Or, at the 2010 Lilly Awards; the play promises a dose of English history and a chance to chuckle the night away. (Emmaly Wiederholt)

Through Dec. 5

Wed.–Sat., 8 p.m. (also Sat, 2:30 p.m.);

Sun, 2:30 p.m.; Tues, 7 p.m., $45–$60

Magic Theatre

Fort Mason Center, Building D, Third Floor, SF

(415) 441-8822

www.magictheatre.org

 

THURSDAY 11

DANCE

Ampey!

In 2008, Adia Tamar Whitaker took a trip to Africa, where she encountered ampey, a Ghanian children’s dance for which you need to be on your toes in more ways than one. It became the inspiration for Ampey!, in which she explores complexities surrounding identity, family, and home. For Whitaker, that “return” trip had been become a voyage of discovery — though not in the way she anticipated. Presented as a work in progress last year, one could sense Ampey!’s artistic potential; it already included a powerful percussive “sitting dance.” Perhaps the best aspect of the two-year Performing Diaspora Project is its offer to artists like Whitaker to keep working on what needs to be done. (Rita Felciano)

Through Nov. 21

Thurs/11–Sun/14 and Nov. 18–20, 8 p.m.;

Nov. 21, 3 p.m., $19–$24

Counterpulse

1310 Mission, SF

1-800-838-3006

www.counterpulse.org

 

MUSIC

Ghostface Killah

No one has your back like Iron Man. Pretty Toney was the original link that brought the whole Wu-Tang together. Always willing to lend a devastatingly together verse to just about anybody’s single (MSTRKRFT, Prefuse 73, DANGERDOOM, etc), Starky still has found time to release classic after classic album. On his latest, Ghostdini: Wizard of Poetry in Emerald City, the Wallabee Kingpin went the extra mile, dispensing priceless relationship advice via a series of YouTube videos. Isn’t it about time you gave Ghostface Killah a little something back in return? (Ryan Prendiville)

With Sheek Louch and Music by Frank Dukes

9 p.m. $22

Slim’s

333 11th St., SF

(415) 255-0333

www.slims-sf.com

 

MUSIC

Masaki Batoh

Incorporating elements of Krautrock, folk, free jazz, and all manner of indigenous instrumentation, enigmatic Japanese psych collective Ghost are the heirs to such earlier cosmic emissaries as fellow countrymen the Taj Mahal Travelers. Founder and core player Masaki Batoh takes a similarly eclectic approach in his non-Ghost releases, whether turning out a chugging acoustic cover of Can’s “Yoo Doo Right” or mournful dirges, as on his recent collaborative albums with Espers’ Helena Espvall. Tonight’s rare solo set, with Batoh alternating between guitar and banjo and a table full of electronics, should prove no different. (Matt Sussman)

With Young Elders

10 p.m., $10

Vortex Room

1082 Howard, SF

www.myspace.com/thevortexroom

Also Fri/12

With Sic Alps

10 p.m., $5

Ghost Town Gallery

2519 San Pablo, Oakl.

www.myspace.com/ghosttowngallery

 

DANCE

Sankai Juku

Butoh is perhaps one of the most enigmatic dance forms. Emerging in the late 1950s in opposition to the Westernization of Japan, butoh often explores the more grotesque side of human nature. Unlike other dance forms with a syllabus of movements, butoh may be completely conceptual, hyper-slow, playful, scary, or none of the above. It defies definition. Audiences can begin to wrap their minds around butoh as Sankai Juku, the legendary Japanese butoh company, tours to San Francisco to present Hibiki: Resonance from Far Away, a piece said to plumb poetic beauty. Meditative and hypnotic in its simplicity, this award-winning work is a signature of butoh. (Wiederholt)

Thurs/11–Sat/13, 8 p.m.;

Sun/14, 2 p.m., $35–$60

Yerba Buena Center for the Arts

Novellus Theater

700 Howard, SF

(415) 978-2787

www.ybca.org

 

FRIDAY 12

MUSIC

Lindstrøm

Known to much prefer holing up in the studio in his home base of Oslo, Norway, than performing live, this is a rare opportunity to catch a set from one of the more interesting electronic music producers around. Lindstrøm first made a name for himself as a remix artist, reworking tracks from the likes of LCD Soundsystem, Roxy Music, Franz Ferdinand, and the Boredoms. His solo albums are full of frosty disco beats, heavy synthesizers, classic funk influences and enough of an adventurous streak to appeal to more than just the dance floor crowd. (Landon Moblad)

With Marbeya and Publicist

9 p.m., $15

Mezzanine

444 Jessie, SF

(415) 625-8880

www.mezzaninesf.com

 

DANCE

“Manifestival: Like Oil and Water: From Gaza to the Gulf”

Lots of Bay Area artists know that the world is a village, all politics are local, and that it’s probably not a good idea to ignore an problem until it burns your face. Socially committed dance is a large part of what we see on our stages. Artists are the antennas of the race and following them is fun as well as instructive. This year’s Manifestival theme of “Like Oil and Water: From Gaza to the Gulf” should provide more than enough inspiration for the two different programs. Onstage the first weekend are Jessica Damon, Jose Navarrete, Michael Velez, Nicole Klaymoon, Sri Susilowati, Naked Empire Buffoon, Stella Adelman, and Youth Speaks. (Felciano)

Through Nov. 20

Fri.–Sat., 8 p.m., $22

Dance Mission Theater

3316 24th St. SF

(415) 273-4633

www.brownpapertickets.com

 

VISUAL ART

“A Journeyman’s Papers”

Rare is the gallery show at which the owner of said gallery steps out from the wings and shows his or her own work. Risks! No one wants to be seen as the next megalomaniac Thomas Kincaid, drunkenly careening into the heavily curtained schlock-nests of Midwestern housewives, right? No fear of that kind of showboating here. Rob Delamater, co-owner of dapper cognoscenti-magnet Lost Art Salon, creates voluptuously genteel, generous-spirited pieces that fit right in with his gallery’s excellent collection of rare vintage modern works. Block-printed portraits of the wanton Bloomsbury group, evocative and crepuscular figure studies, and, perhaps most intriguing, softly primitive compositions evoking the California coastline painted on vintage book covers are the gorgeous, midcentury-type whistle stops on Delamater’s artistic journey. Doff your fedora, shed your silk shift, and have a lovely look. (Marke B.)

Through Jan. 31, 2011

5:30–8:30 p.m., free

Lost Art Salon

245 S. Van Ness, Suite 203, SF

(415) 861-1530

www.lostartsalon.com

 

SATURDAY 13

MUSIC

Dãm-Funk

George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic are going to be at Yoshi’s next week. That’s cool. But instead of waiting to enjoy what’s sure to be a great reminiscing on where funk’s been, why not check where it’s going? Dãm-Funk (pronounced “Dame Funk”) lays down a DJ set at Som Bar. A DIY DJ, producer, and recording artist, Dãm-Funk uses the same playbook as Ariel Pink, digging deep into genres and musical styles that were left by the wayside to create distinct sounds. While I can’t guarantee that he’ll break out the Animal Collective (so many records to choose from), word is that he’ll bust out the keytar. (Prendiville)

With King Most, Jacob Pena, and Freddy Anzures

9 p.m., $10

Som.

2925 16th St., SF

www.som-bar.com

 

EVENT

“Frogs in the Fog”

Wow, I just found the frikkin’ treasure trove! Not even my ecology-expert friends knew that the San Francisco Naturalist Society has the most kickass events calendar (www.sfns.org/events) — one that’s updated daily, to (hiking) boot. Probably the coolest-sounding upcoming event is led by “Mr. Science,” a.k.a. Chris Giorni, founder of Tree Frog Treks, and starts with checking out his extensive stash of amphibians and reptiles. After bonding with uncharacteristic mini-fauna, grab a slice of pizza to sustain your explorer spirit onward toward the hidden ponds, sacred groves, and endless discoveries of western Golden Gate Park. While the Treks’ mission is to make science fun for the kiddos, this adventure is open to all. (Kat Renz)

4 p.m.–6:15 p.m., $15–$50 (sliding scale)

Tree Frog Treks’ Frog Hall

2114 Hayes, SF

(415) 564-4107

www.baynature.org

 

SUNDAY 14

MUSIC

Nile

Specializing in impossibly fast blast beats and meticulously researched Egyptological lyrics, Nile has carved out a niche as one of the scene’s most revered death metal acts. The South Carolina quartet hews closely to the genre’s traditions, playing intricate, epic compositions that lean heavily on tremolo picking and sheer speed. Replicating such extreme chops live is no mean feat, but previous appearances by the band have been flawless and incendiary, particularly when they launch into epic closer “Unas Slayer of the Gods.” Whether you’re there for the tales of bloodthirsty pharaohs or just excited to bask in the copious beats-per-minute, Nile will take no prisoners. (Ben Richardson)

With Ex Deo, Psycroptic, Keep of Kalessin

7:30 p.m., $30

Slim’s

333 11th St., SF

(415) 255-0333

www.slims-sf.com

 

MONDAY 15

MUSIC

Thermals

For punk-tinged indie rockers Thermals, consistency is the name of the game. Never straying too far from its bare-bones, guitar, bass, and drums format, the Portland, Ore.-based band has now released five albums of punchy Buzzcocks-esque rock ‘n’ roll. Its newest, Personal Life, was produced by Death Cab for Cutie’s Chris Walla and includes a nice mix of slower, more drawn-out tracks and infectious, pound-on-your-steering-wheel bursts of adrenaline, such as lead single “I Don’t Believe You.” (Moblad)

With Night Marchers and White Fang

8 p.m., $16

Independent

628 Divisadero, SF

(415) 771-1421

www.theindependentsf.com 


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Alerts

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alert@sfbg.com

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 10

 

Protest a Mexican dam

Help keep a village in Mexico from being flooded. Come to the Mexican Consulate to protest construction of the El Zapotillo Dam, which would submerge the town of Temacapulín, Jalisco, and provide water to a neighboring state that already loses 40 percent of its water supply in transmission. Join families of Temacapulín in a musical and peaceful protest to stop the dam.

12 p.m.–1p.m., free

Mexican Consulate

532 Folsom, SF

www.internationalrivers.org/node/5908

THURSDAY, NOV. 11

 

SF Public Press party

Join the nonprofit SF Public Press for drinks and appetizers, pick up a free copy of its latest newspaper, and meet the people who pull it all together.

5:30 p.m., $20 general admission

The Mechanics’ Institute

57 Post, SF

www.sfpublicpress.org

 

Watch The Big One

Michael Moore’s hilarious cross-country road movie plumbs the depths of corporate America, asking the question: at a time when corporations are posting record profits, why are so many Americans still in danger of losing their jobs? Moore embarks on a one-man campaign to persuade Fortune 500 companies to reconsider their downsizing decisions.

7:30 p.m., $5 donation

Humanity Hall, 390

27th St., Oakl.

www.humanisthall.net/wp/2010/10/17/film-the-big-one-2/

 

Rally Against KPFA’s cuts

Union workers at America’s first listener-sponsored radio station, KPFA 94.1 FM, have mobilized to oppose imminent cuts to KPFA staffing by their parent organization, the Pacifica Foundation. The Morning Show, Against the Grain, Hard Knock Radio, and KPFA Evening News all appear slated for severe program changes and/or decimating cuts.

4:30–6:30a.m., free

1925-29 Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Berk.

www.kpfaworker.org

SATURDAY, NOV. 13

 

Indybay’s 10th Anniversary Celebration

Indybay, a hub for independent progressive news and activism, has been thriving for a decade, along with SF Bay Area and Santa Cruz Independent Media Centers and other projects. To celebrate and honor its many contributors, come hear form a diverse lineup of speakers from across Northern California discussing independent media’s role in social and environmental justice movements.

12 p.m., $10 donation

Continental Club

1658 12th St., Oakl.

www.indybay.org/newsitems/2010/09/11/18658427.php

SUNDAY, NOV. 14

 

Cultivating a Legacy of Hope

Be a part of the Filipino/American Coalition for Environmental Solidarity (FACES) first-ever community celebration, marking 10 years of building environmental justice and solidarity between the U.S. and the Philippines. Event features a palengke (market) of sustainable crafts, live performances from spoken word poet Aimee Suzara, Diwa Kulintang Ensemble, and guitarist Theresa Calpotura, along with delicious Filipino foods and more.

2–4:30 p.m., free

Bayanihan Community Center

1010 Mission St., SF

www.facessolidarity.org 2

Mail items for Alerts to the Guardian Building, 135 Mississippi St., SF, CA 94107; fax to (415) 255-8762; or e-mail alerts@sfbg.com. Please include a contact telephone number. Items must be received at least one week prior to the publication date.

Appetite: 3 escaped-from-New York egg creams

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Sipping an egg cream soda is an all-American, very New York pastime, but nowadays the nostalgic sodas are popping up in increasing numbers in our fair city. I rounded up a trifecta of perfect SF spots to get your cream on, but first a historical rundown.

Though the identity of the creator of the original egg cream is somewhat debated, many credit Louis Auster, a Brooklyn candy store owner in the late 1800s. In his well-researched tome on the history of soda fountains, Fix the Pumps, Art of the Drink‘s Darcy S. O’Neil says the New York egg cream evolved as a variation on the original milkshakes served at soda fountains in the late 19th century.

The classic recipe, which contains no egg whatsoever, traditionally consists of milk (or cream, for added richness), chocolate syrup, and soda water, making for a gently effervescent imbibement. It has a creamy, chocolate-y tinge, and a pleasurable hint of sour from the soda. The best creations have a foamy, seltzer “head” and are reminiscent of an ice cream soda sans ice cream. Some claim the original recipe included actual egg, which was replaced when they became expensive and harder to procure during World War II.

Speculations aside, I find egg creams a delightful reminder of my high school years on the East Coast, when I sipped at diners in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Jersey. To this day, I can’t be in proximity of Katz Deli in the Lower East Side without ordering one to go. 

The recent proliferation of egg creams in San Francisco is a welcome trend. Though I can never seem to track down the Egg Cream Cart, which was launched earlier this year by a mysterious “Madame Bubbles” (and serves egg creams and Jewish treats like rugelach), there are a few more easy-to-find places to wash down a soda, whether you go for the original Brooklyn recipe with chocolate syrup, New York style with vanilla, or even a San Francisco egg cream made with both chocolate and hazelnut syrups. 

 

Grand Coffee

Months back, I wrote about the new Grand Coffee on Mission Street, a humble little counter-window service  that pumped out expertly prepared Four Barrel coffee, creative jam sodas, layered iced coffees, and yes, egg creams. Owner Nabeel Silmi makes a Brooklyn egg cream ($2.75), for which he first drizzles the glass with Brooklyn-made Fox’s U-bet chocolate syrup, then douses it with milk and seltzer water, ultimately handing you a freshly frothy drink.

2663 Mission, SF

(415) 206-1238


Tony’s Coal-Fired Pizza & Slice House

The new take-out shop next to Tony’s Pizza Napoletana is just what North Beach needed: addictive Neapolitan and East Coast pizzas, ordered by the pie or the slice (cheese, pepperoni and daily specials). Eat in at one of the couple of tables in the joint or trot across the street to Washington Square Park with pizza or giant Italian beef sandwich in hand. The deal is sweetened with three egg cream options: New York, Brooklyn, and SF versions. The downside? They’re a whopping five dollars each. But the balance is right and kudos to Tony for offering all the classic egg creams. 

1556 Stockton Street, SF

(415) 835-9888


Cowgirl Creamery’s Sidekick

Cowgirl Creamery‘s brand new Ferry Building cafe, Sidekick, is a take-out venue for all things cheese, from challah rolls filled with the stuff to a fresh mozzarella bar where you can choose which mozza type you’d like to heap over salad. Sidekick starts with a San Francisco egg cream (chocolate and hazelnut syrups for four dollars), then offers three non-traditional versions: raspberry, coffee cream, and caramel cream ($3.75). The SF soda enhances that light, chocolate-drenched froth with a whisper of nuttiness. Consider it egg cream with a California twist. 

1 Ferry Building, SF

(415) 362-9354

www.cowgirlcreamery.com

 

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Election 2010: The Lacy party

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Outside of Bloom’s Saloon, there’s a silver taco truck with a black and orange Dewitt Lacy sign stuck on the back. “Eat It” by Weird Al is blasting from inside the Saloon and as I timidly follow the noise Lacy himself turns around and gives me a wave.

I instantly feel right at home sipping my ice water while Lacy tells me about his campaign team and their accomplishments. “A lot of us put a lot of hard work into the campaign,” Lacy says.

We talked about the day he met President Obama and how his abilty to keep his cool completely vanished upon shaking the president’s hand. But personal anecdotes aside, Lacy is definitely serious about representing his district.

 “Some people have pegged this race as the Heart and Soul of San Francisco,” Lacy explained. “For far too long this district has been left out or overlooked and it’s time for that to stop.”

And while this particular race may not produce all results immediately — it will be decided by ranked-choice votes later in the week —  Lacy seems relaxed and relieved to be enjoying tacos, tequila, and cherry delight with friends, family and supporters.

When asked if most election parties are this chill, Lacy simply replies, “We are the people man.”

Pork in a storm

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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS Kayday came here from Seattle. She tenor guitars my band and, being the opposite of a Luddite, helps me think about the future in terms of publishing, recording, and having things. Her car isn’t just red. It’s a Honda Fit. What else: she looks cute in a raincoat, which is important if you come from Seattle.

It was raining so hard in the Mission, we decided to go to the Outer Sunset to eat. A “double down,” she called it. I call it fighting water with water.

In spite of her rain gear couture, Kayday does not like precipitation. Every time it rains two days in a row, I get nervous she’s going to move to Baja and I’m going to have to find a new tenor guitar player with a red Fit.

“How you holding out?” I asked her in the car, on our way to food.

“I think I reached my lifetime rain quota while I was in Seattle,” she said. “But I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to move to Arizona.”

“Nor am I suggesting that you should,” I said. “It’s just that Tucson is not, in my opinion, all that half-bad of a city.”

She told me about the botched Biosphere 2 experiment conducted near there in the early 1990s, and I started to cry because I thought about how the people living in that bubble for two years were not likely to have had access to really good dim sum, let alone Dim Sum.

Then again, a lot of people, including most of my very own relatives, live in Ohio and, as such, don’t even know what dim sum is.

Anyway, the place we were aiming for was somewhere Kayday had heard and heard about, and had tried several times to go there, but: closed. So this time she called first and they said, “Open! Until 2:30!”

We arrived at 1:30, many hours late for brunch, on a rainy rainy Sunday, and they were closed — not closed because they were closed, but closed because the wait for a table was longer than an hour.

At least I got to sneak a look at their food, which did look pretty good and fluffy, and the atmosphere, which was so nice and wooden and cozy, I almost passed out. Does anyone know the name of this place? I can’t remember, and anyway it wasn’t where we ate.

We decided to cross the park to go to Shanghai Dumpling Something on Balboa Street, but then, 1/32 of the way there, I realized that Kingdom of Dumpling was on the Sunset side of the park, and therefore closer.

Did I mention how hungry I was? Pretty damn.

I still keep chicken farmerly hours, see, whereas Kayday is of course a rock ‘n’ roller, so her brunch is my late lunch.

And wouldn’t you know it, there was a line out the door of Kingdom of, too. We stood in it for a little too long, because there was only one group ahead of us, and the smells and warmth coming out the doorway were just too good to leave.

Then I poked my head inside, realized it was a tiny, tiny place, that four of the dozen or so tables had just gotten their menus, and that no one else looked even close to finished, and still — it looked and smelled so good, and the warmth in there was so warm compared to the rain and wind on the sidewalk — we waited a couple minutes longer before Kayday pulled me away to T-28 down on the corner.

We ordered mackerel fried rice, chicken steak noodle soup, green onion pancakes, and (my favorite name ever for a thing) Pork Chop Porky Bun.

What a rip! It was just a regular old bun, only with a pork chop in it. Like a Vietnamese sandwich only without all the fun stuff, and even the pork chop was thin and dry.

There are 10 of these Macau-style “porky buns” listed, including peanut butter, Spam, and spicy sardine. Not for me.

The soup was boring. I never thought I’d see the day when a Chinese meal was saved by fried rice and green onion pancakes. Well, this was that day.

T-28 BAKER & CAFE

Daily: 7:30 a.m.–midnight

1753-1757 Taraval, SF

(415) 682-8200

Cash only

No alcohol

Appetite: David Wondrich on Punch

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When cocktail historian and Esquire columnist David Wondrich speaks about drink, you listen — or read, as the case may be. His latest book Punch, debuts Nov. 2, the first of its kind on the glories and history of the punch bowl. I had the privilege of speaking with Dave over the phone from his New York home. The question at hand: why punch? Or to quote from the book, what makes punch “necessary”?

Wondrich stands by his punch bowl. He tells me it’s “the greatest social beverage of all time,” that “now more than ever we need beverages that promote friendship.” He calls punch “more gentle than cocktails”, its preparation “easy and utterly pleasurable.” The punch bowl is communal, ideal for a group or festive gathering, less laborious than individual cocktails, and a hell of a lot more fun. As Dave states in the book’s preface: “most of punch’s stories are of warm fellowship, and conviviality, and high-spirited gatherings afloat on oceans of witty talk” — not to mention a few “battles and brawls.”

We’re not talking about “frat juice” here. We’re talking honest-to-God punch: boozy yet delicious, layered with citrus, raw sugar, and varying spirits. The book starts with a comprehensive history — who drank punch and where. Wondrich says the book started as a big chunk cut out of his first book Imbibe.

The convivial punch houses of antiquity that feature in Punch sound so appealing that I ask Dave if he envisions their return. “I certainly hope so,” he replies. Besides Rickhouse here in SF, some of his favorite bars for punch around the globe include Hix in London, Brooklyn’s Clover Club (which lies a dangerously close distance from his present location), and Manhattan’s Death & Co. He’s also a fan of Savoy Cocktail Night at SF’s own Alembic (hear, hear!)

Like most classic concoctions, the name of punch’s first mixologist has been lost to the sands of time — though there are countless early references to the drink. One of Wondrich’s strongest sources is Google Books, where he digs up old newspapers, pamphlets, and rare books before he cross references them in the libraries of New York and London. Another research source?  “I am trained as an academic so I have a lot of 1600s books,” he says. “I start with a lot of blank space and start to fill that in using every kind of source possible… I’ll track down the original source, and don’t settle for first mention.”

I asked if he’d ever write the book he wishes existed, a dream mentioned on page six of Punch, which is a detailed source on distilling, the drink’s origins, its history, and importance. He says it’s a project “too big for any one person to bite off, unless they have all the time in the world and know multiple languages.” Wondrich says he “could tackle parts of it.” He estimates that it would take at least three co-writers: someone fluent in Dutch, German, Chinese, and Indian.

What we’re more likely to see Wondrich write about next is how the American style of drinking — particularly our contributions in cocktails and spirits — went global. He’s already done “tons of research” for past presentations on the subject. Spots of particular interest for him include our country’s legendary World’s Fair cocktail showcases and the way the techniques they highlighted spread across the rest of the globe. 

Wondrich expects the section called Book II of his recently released Punch will be limited to “total mixology geeks.” But I found Book II a useful, necessary account of the ingredients, tools, and proper measurements needed for the drink, particularly his recommendations for spirits in the “Ingredients” chapter.

A good half of Punch is recipes, ranging from Milk Punch to American Fancy Punch. When asked which ones he makes the most, Wondrich named the bracing Chatham Artillery punch on page 248 (a Savannah original, a poorly-crafted version of which I’ve imbibed whilst walking down the city’s streets). Back in the day, a local paper described this punch thusly: “as a vanquisher of men its equal has never been found.” Dave says the recipe in this book (there’s yet another included in Imbibe!) “claims to be the original, and very well might be,” though when it comes to  traditional recipes “they get passed down like a game of telephone,” each iteration evolving from the last.

One of his biggest crowd-pleasers — which he says people consume in “shocking amounts” — is his own recipe of Royal Hibernian punch (p. 269):

Prepare an oleo-saccharum with the peel of three lemons and six ounces of white sugar. Add six ounces strained lemon juice and stir until the sugar has dissolved. Add to this 12 ounces Sandeman Rainwater Madeira, stir and pour the Madeira shrub into a clean 750-milliliter bottle. Add enough water to the bottle to fill it, seal and refrigerate. Fill another clean 750-milliliter bottle with filtered water and refrigerate that too.

To serve, pour the bottle of the shrub, the bottle of water, and one 750-milliliter bottle of Jameson 12 or Redbreast Irish whiskey into a gallon Punch bowl, add a 1 1/2 quart block of ice and grate nutmeg over the top.

Yield: 9 1/2 cups.

 

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FEAST: Distilled genius

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It’s a thrilling time in Bay Area spirits. The same players who’ve made us proud in years past continue to reinvent themselves, while newcomers add flavor — literally — to the scene. In visits to four local distilleries, I came away inspired by their inventiveness and skill. And while none of the spirits I tasted use extracts or flavorings (like many of their big-brand counterparts), they do manage to fit in countless pounds of local, unexpected fruits, even natural herbs.

Even more exciting to the small batch booze enthusiast? Most of the following distilleries open their tasting rooms by schedule or appointment so the tippling public can discover for itself the motto emblazoned on the bottles of Old World Spirits: “Good stuff needs no special effects.”

ST. GEORGE’S SPIRITS

At the mighty St. George, inventiveness reigns, with a rock star attitude to boot. The distillery’s small staff experiments broadly and distillers Lance Winters and Dave Smith drive this license into genius. A behind-the-scenes journey through their labs unveiled nothing short of a wonderland apothecary: test tubes and bottles of spirits flavored with herbs, fruits, vegetables, foie gras — even beef jerky. You may (rightly) love their eaux de vie, absinthe, agave spirits, rum, vodkas, and whiskeys, but have you heard they’re toying with a carrot brandy? Clear and vegetal, it showcases the essence of the orange vegetable with a delicate hand. We can only pray they’ll bottle this one.

I also sampled St. George’s bourbon aging in charred American white oak that was a few years away from being officially bottled. Only five months young and made from the required minimum amount of corn (it needs at least 51 percent to qualify as bourbon) plus barley, crystal malt, wheat, and rye, it’s full of malty, rich promise. The same holds true of its white dog (clear-white whiskey) made from the same grains — one we could possibly see sooner on the shelves.

St. George’s next single malt whiskey, Lot 9, has been aging five to 12 years in barrels blended with 17 woods, including used American bourbon oak, sherry refills, port refills, and French oak. If you’re lucky, you soon may be able to purchase (in limited quantities) a single malt-single barrel selection that has been aged eight years in bourbon barrels then finished for four years in French oak apple brandy barrels. It is a wonder of complexity compared to their regular whiskey releases.

Only the brave attempt to down the scorching fire that is St. George’s in house habanero vodka. Grown men confessed of crying or throwing up just sipping it — only a handful of people have downed a legitimate amount and have been permitted to sign the distillery’s bottle of the burn. But my name is on that bottle — no tears, no throwing up, just a raging habanero sizzle.

2601 Monarch, Alameda. (510) 769-1601. www.stgeorgesspirits.com


CHARBAY

On a winding road above St. Helena and under peaceful Spring Mountain pines, there’s more going on than this distillery’s impeccable line of vodkas. Thirteen generations have gone into this family business, founded in 1983 and run by Miles and Susan Karakasevic, their son Marko, and his wife Jenni. The distillery’s lineage is evident to the discerning tippler who sips their port, rums, pastis, brandy, grappa, wines — even their herbaceous tequila. Charbay’s father-son distilling duo traveled to Mexico to painstakingly learn traditional tequila-making technique, which they expertly riff on to make their distinct blends.

Don’t even get me started on Release II of Charbay whiskey! 110 proof, aged six years with a pilsner beer base, it’s a stratospheric $325, but one of the most exceptional things I’ve ever tasted. From its astounding complexity, I caught everything from hops to echoes of the pine trees surrounding the distillery. I also sampled an unreleased 12-year version of Release II: higher proof, rich, a stunner.

But there’s no rest for the Karakasevics. Future whiskeys are already aging in French oak barrels — the one I’m most thirsty for, a stout whiskey, won’t be ready until 2012. If early tastes are any indication, it’s already brilliantly complex with coffee, spice, and dark chocolate notes. Made with neighboring Bear Republic’s stout in copper alembic stills, it’ll age for two years to reach 90 proof and is expected to retail around $90 — part of a younger, more affordable line of whiskeys compared with the divine but costly Release II. The bold explorer spirit that propels Charbay to Mexico to make a fine tequila shines in their future whiskeys.


TEMPUS FUGIT SPIRITS

These importers have already made waves with their Swiss-produced Gran Classico Bitter, which I hailed for reinventing classic cocktails like the Negroni. They also import some of the best French and Swiss absinthes in existence. Absinthe historians and spirits experts Peter Schaf and John Troia are the masterminds behind Tempus Fugit — and owners of one of the finest vintage absinthe poster collections in the world. It was a thrill to check out these rare pieces while tasting the history and forward-thinking vision in their bitters and liqueurs.

Tempus Fugit’s modus operandi is reinventing classic recipes and distilling them locally. Petaluma-produced Liqueur de Violettes is next up for the duo, a taste along the lines of Creme de Violette and other violet liqueurs yet somehow unlike any of them. Made with less sugar, the liqueur is a more appropriate cocktail ingredient — it’s less cloying, more purely floral and light. Each time I sample it, its bouquet blossoms like a layered wine: a sophisticated, botanical aperitif.

Tempus Fugit future project (a two-man team, after all, only has four hands) is Crème de Cacao-Chouva, a chocolate liqueur that will change chocolate cocktails the way St. George’s Firelit transformed coffee liqueur. It’s dark, lightly sweet, lush and earthy. Tasting it, I envision a resurgence of my guilty pleasure cocktail, the Grasshopper, refined and grown up with Crème de Cacao-Chouva and creme de menthe. It came alive with soda water — an elevated egg cream soda materialized in my cocktail windshield.

Keep an eye on these guys. They have more spirits and bitters as exciting as the ones I’ve listed in the works. Their dizzying knowledge of the history and intricacies of forgotten or neglected spirits, along with refined taste, suggests revelatory possibilities for the future pours of Tempus Fugit.

(707) 789-9660, www.tempusfugitspirits.com


OLD WORLD SPIRITS

Just north of San Carlos in a nondescript smattering of office buildings, is Old World Spirits, which has been in production since 2009. Davorin Kuchan, its third-generation distiller from Croatia, says family plays an irreplaceable part in the operation, as is evident from the photos lining the walls of the distillery. The whole clan is involved — Kuchan’s young daughter even drew the girl peeking out from foliage that graces Old World’s playful absinthe label. The output of both Davorin and business partner Joseph Karakas is astounding for a two-person operation, with two absinthes, a gin, a black walnut liqueur, three eaux de vie/brandies, and more liquors slotted for future release.

Old World uses custom-made German stills and local fruits like the Indian blood peach, which Davorin calls the “heirloom tomato” of stone fruit. As with the best natural fruits, the Indian blood has cracks and flaws, its lower sugar content imparting a lush understatement of taste. Though he grew the peaches himself in Croatia, in California Davorin orders in from Placerville’s Goldbud Farms. The clear blood peach eau de vie impresses with notes of ripe, juicy fruit flesh and spicy skin. I found Old World’s eaux de vies well-balanced, both the pear-inflected Poire Williams and the three- to seven-months oak-aged O’Henry Peach. I sipped a raspberry eau di vie it has yet to release: clear and lightly floral, free of the cloying sugar common in raspberry liqueurs.

Watch for Old World’s sold out dark black walnut liqueur — another batch is out in two years. Kuchan’s Blade Gin stocks the shelves of many a Bay Area bar, journeying down a nontraditional, California-inspired gin route with whispers of ginger, citrus, cilantro, lemon verbena, and black cardamom. Two kinds of absinthe, a green (verte) and clear blanche/white (referred to as Bleue, as in Switzerland), take cues from classic absinthes but resound with Davorin’s interpretation of 20 percent more herbs than what enlivens a traditional absinthe. Old World’s next release: a Cognac-style double barrel brandy aged in French and American oak and finished in Kentucky bourbon casks, which they hope to release soon. My early taste straight from the barrel yielded an already rich, spicy brandy.

Thirsty yet? Visit Davorin and Joseph during their monthly Friday Flight nights. Davorin will turn on some fine French pop tunes as both pour spirits, transforming the distillery into a warm familial party.

121 Industrial, Belmont. (650) 622-9222. www.oldworldspirits.com 

You can also find these spirits at Cask (17 Third St., SF), John Walker & Co. (175 Sutter, SF), and K&L Wine Merchants (638 Fourth St., SF).

 

 

FEAST: 6 hot C-cups

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A funny thing happened on the way to adulthood: hot chocolate became interesting. Remembered by most Americans as the insipid, lukewarm, desiccated powder-based drink of ice rinks (often dispensed from a machine that simultaneously squirts water and dark matter into your cup), 21st century big-kid hot chocolate has heat, depth, spice, richness, variety. It is, in short, both hot and chocolate. And let’s not forget innovations in topping technology. Today’s hot chocolatiers don’t open a bag of petroleum-based white things or spray on the ReddiWip — they make their own marshmallows and whipped cream.

Hot chocolate is also one drink you never find yourself saying, “If only I hadn’t had that last (fill in cocktail) … ” Indeed, researchers at Cornell found that hot chocolate has more antioxidants per cup than red wine or tea. So as we enter hot chocolate season — our summer, which they call “autumn” on the rest of the continent — raise a cup to your health. 

BOULETTE’S LARDER

In the third season of Dexter, top cop Maria has a pair of bonding experiences with women that are consummated with two words “ganache frosting.” Ganache — that rich, delicious, thick, delicious, dense, delicious mix of chocolate and cream — is the base element of Boulette’s singular cup of Eastern European-style hot chocolate. All day long, Boulette’s chefs keep a pan of molten ganache simmering in anticipation of its HC fans. The result is hot chocolate so thick you almost need a spoon, and so satisfying you can omit that dollop of cream.

One Ferry Building # 48, SF (415) 399-1155. www.boulette’slarder.com


COCO LUXE

This pretty-in-pink Haight Street anomaly makes eight kinds of hot chocolate (including a green tea version for serious antioxidant-counters) plus a milk-free drink for all those people who can’t, won’t, or don’t swing bovine. Billed as warm chocolate pudding, the molten concoction blends dark chocolate and hot water until it’s only navigable by spoon. Like our beloved Earth, it also retains its molten core, so it can be toyed with for some time without losing any of its hot, thick mojo. Coco Luxe also has solid chocolates, gorgeous ones that look like mini wall art. And let’s face it, we all need a little solid food occasionally to add weight and depth to our c-cups.

1673 Haight SF. (415) 367-4012. www.coco-luxe.com


CHRISTOPHER ELBOW CHOCOLATES

When the abundant novelty of SF’s innovative hot chocolate scene has worn off, head to this sleek corner store for even more innovation. The boutique chocolatier, which originated in Kansas City, Mo., has all the customary spicy, dark, and milky brews you’ll find at many of our other HC providers — along with some never-before-seen variations spiked with ginger, curry, and coconut milk. Christopher Elbow also makes powdered versions of some of its best-selling drinking chocolates, which make a lovely nyah-nyah-nyah gift for friends still living in Hershey’s just-add-water-powdered-packet land.

401 Hayes, SF. (415) 355-1105. www.elbowchocolates.com


FIVE STAR TRUFFLES

You gotta love this under appreciated one-man operation, where the one man makes your cup by shaving generous helpings of his superlative block chocolate into every liquid cup. The price is right — $2.75 for 16 ounces — and the one man always offers one of his handmade truffles on the house. The one man also exhibits a sincere liberalism about how much milkfat is really necessary for hot chocolate. If you want nonfat hot chocolate (no judgments!), so be it. With base chocolate this good, you won’t miss the milkfat.

411 Divisadero, SF. (415) 552-5128, www.fivestartruffles.com

BI-RITE CREAMERY

Although most people waiting in line at Bi-Rite see only the ice cream and soft-serve, hot chocolate heads can’t help but notice, tucked as it is on the counter behind the cookies, la machine. A combination hot plate-whirligig, Bi-Rite’s single-purpose hot chocolate machine (rumored to have been developed by SF’s own Recchiuti) keeps its brew in a perpetual state of warmth and agitation. What does this mean, besides one terrific cup? No waiting! Traditionalists all the way, Bi-Rite uses only ground chocolate, cocoa, sugar, and milk. A word of warning, though: Bi-Rite only makes HC during the winter (other people’s winter) and on unusually cold or rainy days. Pray for rain.

3692 18th St., SF. (415) 626-5600. www.biritecreamery.com


CHILANGO

Most people come to this Mexican restaurant — and rightly so — for the food. But if you’re here and have postpriandial room, you’ll notice hot chocolate on Chilango’s dessert menu, right up there with flan and churros. But like any good dessert, Chilango’s hot chocolate takes time — the chefs stir each cup over the stove. Let’s face facts, all the delicious Mexican and spicy hot chocolate around town originated from … Mexican hot chocolate. Get the real deal here. And never forget that nothing brings out the flavor of churros like dipping them in hot chocolate.

5 Church, SF. (415) 552-5700. www.chilangococina.com 

 

 

FEAST: 5 sardinerias

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When it comes to sardines, you have to think outside the earthquake shelter. On the flavor-o-meter, the tinned food of last resort (served on tarps with Saltines and stale water) bears no resemblance to its wild, fresh self. Even a humble sardine doesn’t deserve to be jammed in like a sardine, oil slicked, and left to age in the farthest reaches of the cupboard.

As several San Francisco eateries are ably proving, sardines, when treated with respect, are a tasty addition to the dining table. And healthy. And sustainable (they’re on the Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Super Green list!) Everyone from Andrew Weil to the Italian grandmother we all wish we had proclaim the virtues of the pungent silver herring. And with good reason: its tiny, 25-calorie body is packed with essential fatty acids, iron, protein, and calcium.

Let’s face it, the good people of Sardinia didn’t get their beautiful skin and convivial personalities from eating schweinebraten on spätzle. They’re all high on EFAs. Sardine EFAs.

PESCE

Pesce was one of the first and finest restaurants to introduce San Franciscans to the joys of sardine cuisine. The casual Russian Hill restaurant offers small plates of fish, pasta, and vegetables (and please, can we call it cicchetti, as they do, instead of “Italian tapas”?) patterned on the cooking of Venice. Pesce serves its sardines (all from Monterey Bay) simply — grilled, on a bed of mixed greens and pickled vegetables with a wedge of lemon. The result is tart, briny, and clean. If you’re still on the fence about sardines, Pesce is the place that will convert you to a bona fide a-fishyanado.

2227 Polk, SF. (415) 928-8025. www.pescesf.com

RAGAZZA

In Provence, shmear means aoli. They put it on meat; they put it on vegetables; they put it on fries; they put it on fish. Heck, they probably put it on ice cream. At Ragazza, the new relative of Glen Park’s Gialina Pizzeria on Divis, the chefs splat a huge dollop of it on its sardines. Apart from the aoli, Ragazza takes an Italianesque approach, stuffing them with an earthy mixture of breadcrumbs, olive oil, garlic, oregano, and onion and baking them in the restaurant’s gas-fired Wood Stone oven. The result is a crispy exterior over sardines that almost melt away on the fork. Add some mixed greens and a robust Italian red and you can practically feel your arteries unclogging. Oh, Ragazza also has pizza.

311 Divisadero, SF. (415) 255-1133. www.ragazzasf.com

NOPA

There’s locavore, 100-mile radius locavore, and there’s ultra-loca, five-mile radius locavore. While most of the city’s sardine-serving restaurants get their sardines from Monterey Bay, Nopa gets its from our very own San Francisco Bay. This is great news because our local sardines nearly went extinct in the 1950s. And — sardine cognoscenti consider the Pacific sardine as flavorful as those on the Sardinian coast (take that, overpriced cans from Norway). Speaking of flavorful, Nopa serves the little San Franciscans baked in its wood-fire oven with fingerling potatoes and frisee. The only thing missing is an order of flatbread, a gems salad, wine, and the burnt honey crème brulee.

560 Divisadero, SF. (415) 864-8643. www.nopasf.com

BARBACCO ENO TRATTORIA

You have to give Barbacco credit. Unlike most of the restaurants that have rediscovered the sardine, Barbacco doesn’t seem to be operating on the principle that sardines are an after-5 p.m.-only food. Although not exactly in the let’s-have-herrings-for-breakfast! camp, Barbacco at least believes that noon is a perfectly reasonable time to start the jonesing. The bustling, suits-heavy Financial District eatery is the creator of what may be the city’s only sardine sandwich (if this isn’t true, we’d like to know). Barbacco also breaks the don’t-get-too-weird-with-sardines taboo, pairing its sardines with a hefty piece of seared calamari. Not most people’s first choicem perhaps, but the two get along swimmingly, especially when served on an Acme torpedo roll and slathered with arugula and Barbacco’s housemade “roasted tomatoe condimento.”

220 California, SF. (415) 955-1919. www.barbaccosf.com

FERRY PLAZA SEAFOOD

When you don’t want others dictating what you can and can’t have on your sardines, duck into Ferry Plaza Seafood. This celebrated purveyor of all things aquatic sells wild, locally caught sardines (and by this we mean our our SF as well as Monterey bay) when available. “We love sardines,” said one salty staffer. “Especially the local ones. They just glisten.” They recommend bringing out the glisten by brushing with olive oil, salt, and pepper; grilling a few minutes on each side; and dressing with lemon. Call first for availability, these guys swim in and out of supply.

One Ferry Building, #11B, SF. (415) 274-2561. www.ferryplazaseafood.com 

 

Psychic Dream

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Oct. 27-Nov. 11

 

ARIES

March 21-April 19

The natural flow of energy between you and someone or something you dearly love has grown stagnant and its time to deal. Step back to check your stuck emo patterns and make changes where needed.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20

Your ego will lead you down one-way streets going the wrong direction this week. Replace egoism with boundaries whenever you can. Be honest and direct about what you can and can’t handle without defensiveness.

GEMINI

May 21-June 21

Radiate the good vibes you have within you and share what you’ve got. You’ll get where you want by being a team member who supports the whole, not just the star player. Shine, but don’t overshadow.

CANCER

June 22-July 22

Display patience in all you do this week. You don’t have the necessary tools to build things where you want them to be. No worries, though! You’ll get what’s needed if you wait for it.

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22

Clarify your understanding of what works for you in the now, Leo, not what you think might work tomorrow. Get present every way you can this week, even if that means experiencing uncertainty.

VIRGO

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

Pour inspiration into every little thing you do, sweet Virgo, even if it’s the dishes. Look for opportunities to make the little things ritualistic as a strategy for easing your path with the big stuff.

LIBRA

Sept. 23-Oct. 22

Being out of control sucks. Accept that there are blocks in your life that require tending to. Stop fretting and try to slow down long enough so you can hear your instincts amid all that internal chatter.

SCORPIO

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

Fun and frivolity have their place, and that’s the spot you like to be. This week your more practical priorities need to take up the most of your time. Invest solidly in creating the outcomes you most desire.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

Things are changing all around you of their own accord, and as wonderful as it is to think of what you would do if you were queen for a day, it’s not terribly helpful. Go with the flow, even if it’s not what you’d prefer.

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

The path to Authentic is paved with risk and open hearts. You are being called on to stay emotionally present and honest in ways you are inclined to avoid. Show bravery as you make your dreams come true.

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

Don’t distract yourself from the work at hand, Water Bearer! Feeling good because you are able to believe in the potential in your life is way better than feeling good because you distracted yourself successfully. Get it together.

PISCES

Feb. 19-March 20

Don’t fight your way out of dark places, Pisces. Make allies and win the favor of your adversaries because week you’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar. If you can’t play nice, take a time out. 

Jessica Lanyadoo has been a Psychic Dreamer for 16 years. Check out her website at www.lovelanyadoo.com or contact her for an astrology or intuitive reading at (415) 336-8354 or dreamyastrology@gmail.com.

 

 

Stage

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Stage listings are compiled by Guardian staff. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks. For complete listings, see www.sfbg.com.


OPENING

Equus Boxcar Theatre Playhouse, 505 Natoma; 776-1747, www.boxcartheatre.org. $10-25. Opens Wed/27, 8pm. Runs Wed-Sat, 8pm. Through Nov 20. Boxcar Theatre kicks off its fifth season with Peter Shaffer’s drama, directed by Erin Gilley.

Failure to Communicate The Garage, 975 Howard; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. Call for prices. Opens Fri/29, 8pm. Runs Fri-Sat 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Nov 14. Perfomers Under Stress opens its sixth season with the world premiere of a physical theater piece by Valerie Fachman.

The Unexpected Man EXIT Theatre, 156 Eddy; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $18-25. Opens Fri/29. Runs Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Nov 14. Spare Stage revives Yasmina Reza’s ironic comedy, starring Ken Ruta.

BAY AREA

Becoming Britney Center REPortory Company, Knight Stage 3 Theatre, 1601 Civic Drive, Walnut Creek; (925) 943-SHOW, www.centerREP.org. $25. Previews Thurs/28-Fri/29, 8:15pm. Opens Sat/30, 8:15pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8:15pm; Sun, 2:15pm. Through Nov 14.Center REPortory Company presents an original musical about a naïve pop star, written by Molly Bell and Daya Curley.

Palomino Aurora Theatre, 2081 Addison, Berk; (510) 843-4822, www.auroratheatre.org. $10-55. Previews Fri/29-Sat/30 and Nov 3, 8pm; Sun/31, 2pm; Tues/2, 7pm. Opens Nov 4, 8pm. Runs Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm; Tues, 7pm. Through Dec 5. David Cale brings his new solo play about a gigolo to Aurora Theatre for its Bay Area premiere.

Pirates of Penzance Novato Theatre Company Playhouse, 484 Ignacio, Novato; 883-4498, www.novatotheatercompany.org. $12-22. Opens Thurs/28, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Nov 21. Novato Theatre Company revives the popular Gilbert and Sullivan swashbuckling tale.

ONGOING

Christian Cagigal’s Obscura: A Magic Show EXIT Cafe, 156 Eddy; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $15-25. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 18. Magician Christian Cagigal presents a mix of magic, fairy tales, and dark fables.

Dracula’s School for Vampires Young Performers Theatre, Fort Mason Center, Bldg C, Third Floor, Room 300; 346-5550, www.ypt.org. $7-10. Sat, 1 pm; Sun, 1 and 3:30pm. Through Nov 14. Young Performers Theatre presents a Dracula comedy by Dr. Leonard Wolf.

Equus Boxcar Theatre Playhouse, 505 Natoma; 776-1747, www.boxcartheatre.org. $10-25. Opens Wed/27, 8pm. Runs Wed-Sat, 8pm. Through Nov 20. Boxcar Theatre kicks off its fifth season with Peter Shaffer’s drama, directed by Erin Gilley.

Futurestyle ’79 Off-Market Theater, Studio 250, 965 Mission; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $15-20. Wed, 8pm. Through Wed/27. A fully improvised episodic comedy played against the backdrop of SF in 1979.

Glory Days Boxcar Studios, 125 Hyde; www.jericaproductions.com. $30. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm (no performance Sun/31). Through Nov 7. Jerica Prodcutions and the Royal Underground Theatre company present Nick Blaemire’s and James Gardiner’s one-act musical.

Habibi Intersection for the Arts, 446 Valencia; 626-2787, www.theintersection.org. $15-25. Thurs-Sun, 8pm. Through Nov 7. Intersection for the Arts and Campo Santo present the world premiere of a play by Sharif Abu-Hamdeh.

*Hamlet Alcatraz Island; 547-0189, www.weplayers.org. By donation. Sat-Sun, times vary. Through Nov 21. Outside of an actual castle, it would hard to say what could serve as a more appropriate stand-in for Kronborg castle of Helsingør—also known as Elsinore—than the isolated fortress of Alcatraz Island, where WE Players are presenting Hamlet in all its tragic majesty. As audience members tramp along

stony paths and through prison corridors from one scene to the next, the brooding tension the site alone creates is palpable, and the very walls impart a sense of character, as opposed to window-dressing. Deftly leaping around rubble and rock, a hardy troupe of thespians and musicians execute the three-hour

production with neat precision, guiding the audience to parts of the island and prison edifice that aren’t usually part of the standard Alcatraz tour package. Incorporating movement, mime, live music, and carefully-engineered use of space, the Players turn Alcatraz into Denmark, as their physical bodies meld into Alcatraz. Casting actress Andrus Nichols as the discontent prince of Denmark is an incongruity that works, her passions’ sharp as her swordplay, the close-knit family unit of Laertes, Ophelia, and Polonius are emphatically human (Benjamin Stowe, Misti Boettiger, Jack Halton), and Scott D. Phillips plays the

appropriately militaristic and ego-driven Claudius with a cold steel edge. (Gluckstern)

Hedda Gabler Phoenix Theatre, suite 601, 414 Mason; (800) 838-3006, www.offbroadwaywest.org. $35.

The action unfolds in the parlor of the newly married Tesmans, young mediocre academic George (Adam Simpson) and town beauty Hedda, née Gabler (a crisp, tightly wound and nicely understated Cecilia Palmtag), a woman of exceptional intelligence, ambition and pride—to call her fiery wouldn’t be bad either, especially since she’s so fond of shooting off her late father’s pistols. Frustrated by her paltry new life, Hedda seeks news of an old flame, Eilert Lovborg (Paul Baird), via the admiring and vaguely lecherous Judge Brack (Peter Abraham) and a timid acquaintance from school days, Thea (Joceyln Stringer). The semi-wild but brilliant Lovborg has published a new book that imperils George’s chances for a professorship. Less interested in securing George’s career than controlling Lovborg’s destiny, Hedda soon manipulates events around her with bold determination and tragic consequences. Passionate, violent and psychologically complex, Henrik Ibsen’s titular heroine is at turns sympathetic and disturbing, an independent soul trapped in and warped by a society that allows her too little scope—a modern predicament that has inspired many modern and postmodern adaptations. Off Broadway West’s straight-ahead production of the late-19th-century drama, helmed by artistic director Richard Harder, remains faithful to the period setting. This includes Bert van Aalsburg’s respectable scenic design and Sylvia Kratins impressive costumes, as well as the old if fine translation by William Archer, who first introduced Ibsen to the English-speaking world. Unfortunately, the quaint diction is not handled with equal grace across an uneven cast. Palmtag’s solid, at times admirable performance in the lead, however, goes a good way toward grounding an otherwise patchy production. (Avila)

Last Days of Judas Iscariot Gough Street Playhouse, 1620 Gough; (510) 207-5774, www.CustomMade.org. $10-30. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Sat/30. Custom Made Theatre Company presents the 2005 play by New York’s Stephen Adly Guirgis (Our Lady of 121st StreetJesus Hopped the A Train), which places purgatorial Judas (Kristoffer Alberto Barrera) on trial to determine his deserved fate for dropping a dime on Jesus and all that jazz. Flamboyant, sycophantic and horny prosecutor El-Fayoumy (Ben Ortega) and defense attorney Loretta (Amelia Avila) call between them a series of brow-raising witnesses—including Mother Teresa (Brandy Leggett), Sigmund Freud (Catz Forsman), and Satan (Richard Wenzel)—as Judas (seated on the upper tier of Sarah Phykitt’s suitably imposing split-level set) stares stoically in relative silence or appears in a series of childhood flashbacks. Characteristically funny and streetwise, as well as versed in the Catholic rigmarole as filtered through a NYC-boroughs sensibility, Guirgis’s play is also unusually tedious in its jokey, poky unfolding since—offering not much more than a cipher in the largely mute Iscariot—the proceedings lack a strong sense of dramatic stakes. It feels more like a revue than a play, or like an unnecessarily long-winded excuse for the final, well-turned concluding monologue by a heretofore marginal character (a speech delivered with admirable understatement by director Brian Katz). (Avila)

Law and Order: San Francisco Unit: The Musical! EXIT Theater, 156 Eddy; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $10. Mon, 8pm. Through Nov 15. Funny But Mean comedy troupe extends its newest show at a new venue.

Mary Stuart The Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby, Berk; (510) 841-6500, www.shotgunplayers.org. $15-30. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. (also Wed/27, Nov 3; 7pm). Through Nov 7. Shotgun Players presents Friedrich Schiller’s historical drama, directed by Mark Jackson.

*Pearls Over Shanghai Thrillpeddlers’ Hypnodrome, 575 10th St; (8008) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $30-69. Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 19. Thrillpeddlers’ acclaimed production of the Cockettes musical continues its successful run.

Proof Exit Stage Left Theatre, 156 Eddy; www.belljartheatre.com. $20. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Sat/30. Bell Jar Theatre presents David Auburn’s award-winning play.

*The Real Americans The Marsh MainStage, 1062 Valencia; (800) 838-3006; www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Wed-Fri, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Nov 6. The fifth extension of Dan Hoyle’s acclaimed show, directed by Charlie Varon.

*SHIToberfest Off-Market Theaters, 965 Mission; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $20. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Sat/30. This special October run of PianoFight’s bowel-loosening comedy series, the S.H.I.T. Show (for acronym fans, that’s the Stop Hating Imagination Time Show), revolves dizzyingly around the subject of beer, Germans and, perhaps less explicably, flatulent dolphins, among much else in the wide open seas of poor taste. Is it hilarious? It is. And you don’t even need to smuggle in a forty to make it so, though it certainly doesn’t hurt. Fine comic acting throughout a charismatic cast (including writer-director-producers Alex Boyd, Zach Cahn, Jed Goldstein, Ray Hobbs, Devin McNulty, Evan Winchester and Duncan Wold, with help from Nicole Hammersla, Gabrielle Patacsil, Rob Ready, Derricka Smith, Andy Strong, Jacque Vavroch and Dan Williams) combines here with generally solid to exceptional sketch work, video and song. Add in a permeating spirit of revelry, debauchery and irreverence and the evening becomes a diversion of the first order, culminating in an utterly sacrilicious sketch about a bunch of toasted beer-brewing monks treated to a papal visit—one of the best venial sins for your buck. When it comes to Octoberfesting this year, “Bavaria” is just S.H.I.T.–faced for Bay Area. (Avila)

Shocktoberfest!! 2010: Kiss of Blood Hypnodrome Theatre, 575 10th; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $25-35. Thurs-Fri, 8pm (Thurs/28-Sun/31 include performances of The Forsaken Laboratory by the Brazilian Grand Guignol group Vigor Mortis). Through Nov 19. Thrillpeddlers’ seasonal slice of eyeball is comprised of three playlets variously splattered with platelets, all directed by Russell Blackwood and bridged by a rousing burst of bawdy song from the full cast. Rob Keefe’s Lips of the Damned (after La Veuve by Eugene Heros and Leon Abric) takes place in a rat-infested museum of atrocities just before the fumigating starts, as an adulterous couple—comprised of a kinky married lady (a vivacious Kara Emry) and a naïve hunk from the loading dock (Daniel Bakken)—get their kicks around the guillotine display, and their comeuppance from the jilted proprietor (Flynn DeMarco). Keefe’s delightfully off-the-wall if also somewhat off-kilter Empress of Colma posits three druggy queens in grandma’s basement, where they practice and primp for their chance at drag greatness, and where newly crowned Crystal (a gloriously beaming Blackwood) lords it over resentful and suspicious first-runner-up Patty Himst (Eric Tyson Wertz) and obliviously cheerful, non-sequiturial Sunny (Birdie-Bob Watt). When fag hag Marcie (Emry) arrives with a little sodium pentothal snatched from dental school, the truth will out every tiny closeted secret, and at least one big hairy one. Kiss of Blood, the 1929 Grand Guignol classic, wraps things up with botched brain surgery and a nicely mysterious tale of a haunted and agonized man (Wertz) desperate to have Paris’s preeminent surgeon (DeMarco) cut off the seemingly normal finger driving him into paroxysms of pain and panic. Well-acted in the preposterously melodramatic style of the gory genre, the play (among one or two other things) comes off in a most satisfying fashion. (Avila)

Sunset Limited SF Playhouse, 533 Sutter; 677-9596, www.sfplayhouse.org. $40-50. Tues-Wed, 7pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 3 and 8pm. Through Nov 6. This 2006 play by Cormac McCarthy exhibits some of the best and worst of the celebrated author, but significantly more of the latter. It sets an aging white academic and failed suicide (Charles Dean) in a room with his rescuer and would-be savior, a poor black social worker (Carl Lumbly), who has just snatched him from a railway platform ahead of a tête-à-tête with a train called the Sunset Limited. Both characters remain nameless, emphasizing the abstract pseudo-Socratic dimensions attendant on the dialogue-driven realism here (staged with a knowing wink in director Bill English’s scenic design, a partially walled wood-framed shack with see-through slits between the thin horizontal planking). The black man is a born-again Christian and ex-con convinced Jesus has just given him a major assignment. His dogmatic certainty is matched by the white man’s nihilism and despair. “I believe in the primacy of the intellect,” the miserable prof tells his host, who’s locked the door on his self-destructive guest in an effort to buy time to change his mind. Leaving aside the historically clichéd, problematic and baggage-heavy dynamic of a poor black American devoted to the welfare of a rich white one, neither man moves from his respective position one inch (at least until perhaps and partially at the very end), which constrains the dramatic development. Moreover, both sides argue feebly, mainly by gainsaying whatever it is the other one says, making this not a great intellectual debate either. SF Playhouse’s production sets two fine actors at this heavy-handed twofer, but little can be done to redeem so static and arid an exercise. (Avila)

Susie Butler Sings the Sarah Vaughan Songbook Exit Theater Cafe, 156 Eddy; (510) 860-0997, www.brownpapertickets.com. $15-20. Sat, 8:30pm. Through Nov 20. Local actress and singer Susie Butler takes on the Sassy songbook.

Zombie Town Stage Werx Theatre, 533 Sutter; www.stagewerx.org. (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $24. Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Sun/31, 5pm). Through Sun/31. Catharsis Theatre Collective presents a documentary play about zombie attacks in Texas.

BAY AREA

*Compulsion Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Thrust Stage, 2025 Addison; (510) 647-2949, www.berkeleyrep.org. $29-85. Dates and times vary. Through Sun/31. Director Oscar Eustis of New York’s Public Theater marks a Bay Area return with an imaginatively layered staging of Rinne Groff’s stimulating new play. Compulsion locates the momentous yet dauntingly complex cultural-political outcomes of the Holocaust in the career of a provocative Jewish American character, Sid Silver, driven by real horror, sometimes-specious paranoia, and unbounded ego in his battle for control over the staging of Anne Frank’s Diary. A commandingly intense and fascinatingly nuanced Mandy Patinkin plays the brash, litigious Silver, based on real-life writer Meyer Levin, a best-selling author who obsessively pursued rights to stage his own version of Anne Frank’s story. The forces competing for ownership of, and identification with, Anne Frank and her hugely influential diary extend far beyond her father Otto, Silver, or the diary’s publishers at Doubleday (represented here by a smooth Matte Osian in a variety of parts; and a vital Hannah Cabell, who doubles as Silver’s increasingly alarmed and alienated French wife). But the power of Groff’s play lies in grounding the deeply convoluted and compromised history of that text and, by extension, the memory and meanings of the Holocaust itself, in a small set of forceful characters—augmented by astute use of marionettes (designed by Matt Acheson) and the words of Anne Frank herself (partially projected in Jeff Sugg’s impressive video design). The productive dramatic tension doesn’t let up, even after the seeming grace of the last-line, which relieves Silver of worldly burdens but leaves us brooding on their shifting meanings and ends. (Avila)

Dracula Center REPertory Company, 1601 Civic, Walnut Creek; (925) 943-SHOW, www.centerrep.org. $36-42. Wed, 7:30pm; Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2:30pm (also Nov 20, 8pm). Through Nov 20. Eugene Brancoveanu stars as the Count in a production directed by Michael Butler.

*East 14th: True Tales of a Reluctant Player Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Dates and times vary. Through Nov 21. Don Reed’s solo play, making its Oakland debut after an acclaimed New York run, is truly a welcome homecoming twice over. (Avila)

*The Great Game: Afghanistan Roda Theatre, 201 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, www.berkeleyrep.org. $17-73. Call for times. Through Nov 7. Berkeley Rep presents the West Coast premiere of a three-part show about Afghanistan.

*Loveland The Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston Way; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $20-50. Fri, 7pm; Sat, 5pm. Through Nov 13. Ann Randolph’s acclaimed one-woman comic show about grief returns for its sixth sold-out extension.

Superior Donuts TheatreWorks at the Mountain View Center for the Performing Arts, 500 Castro; (650) 463-1960, www.theatreworks.org. $19-67. Tues-Wed, 7:30pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Sun/31. This latest from Tracy Letts (August: Osage CountyKiller Joe) starts out as a delicious treat but a hollowness in the center of it all leaves one less than fully unsatisfied. Director Leslie Martinson’s cast shines, however, as the action unfolds in crisp, engaging scenes set in the titular run-down donut shop in Chicago’s slowly gentrifying Uptown neighborhood. Owner-operator Arthur Przybyszewski (Howard Swain) is an aging baby boomer and second-generation Polish immigrant who fled to Canada to avoid the Vietnam draft and returned years later to take over his parents shop, alienated and hesitant, though well liked by his regulars. At least most: As the play opens his shop has been vandalized. Two beat cops are on the scene, James (Michael J. Asberry) and Randy (Julia Brothers), the latter eventually displaying a visible crush on an oblivious, then discombobulated Arthur. When an impressive young African American man named Franco (Lance Gardner) comes in and charms his way into a job, Arthur gradually finds himself drawn out of his shell and faced with the challenge of valuing another human being more than his own hide—a challenge underscored by Arthur’s several monologues, in which his personal history comes to the fore. The play feels pat and a little lazy-sentimental in the end, but there’s no denying the entertainment afforded here, especially by the magnetic pairing of leads Swain and Gardner. (Avila)

Winter’s Tale Live Oak Theatre, 1301 Shattuck, Berk; (510) 649-5999, www.aeofberkeley.org. $12-15. Fri-Sat, 8pm (also Sun/31, Nov 7, and Nov 14, 2pm; Nov 18, 8pm). Through Nov 20. Actor’s Ensemble of Berkeley presents the rarely-performed Shakespeare play.

PERFORMANCE/DANCE

“Beloved: A Requiem for Our Dead” CELLspace, 2050 Bryant; (510) 207-6101. $10-20. Fri/29, 8pm. Mangos With Chili presents a night of conjuring, memory, mourning and celebration.

“The ChatRoulette Halloween Show” Makeout Room, 3225 22nd St; www.chatrouletteshow.com. $12-15. Sat/30, 7:30pm. The Illuminated Theater presents a special Halloween edition of its show.

Alicia Dattner Off-Market Theater, 965 Mission; (917) 363-9646, www.aliciadattner.com. $20. Fri/29, 8pm.

“Fright Nights at the Wharf” Castagnola’s, 286 Jefferson; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $10. Fri/29-Sat/30, 8pm. An evening of stand-up comedy by the water.

“Ghost Stories and other Horrors!” Jellyfish Gallery, 1286 Folsom; www.firesidestorytelling.com. $5. Wed/27, 8pm. Fireside Storytelling presents an evening of ghoulish tales.

“Kaleidoscope Cabaret” Brava Theater, 2781 24th St; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $20-25. Sat/30, 8pm. An evening of drag, burlesque, song, and aerial art by performers of color.

“Karaghiozis Saves the Economy” Hallidie Plaza, Market and 5th; 648-446, www.shadowlight.org. Free. Sun/31, 7pm. A Greek shadow theatre performance by Leonidas Kassapides.

“Make Drag, Not War!” Dance Mission Theater, 3316 24th St; www.dancemission.com. $15-20. Sun/31, 8pm. A drag show and dance party hosted by Artist Malcolm Drake.

“MUNI Diaries Live!” Makeout Room, 3225 22nd St; 647-2888, www.munidiaries.com. $5. Fri/29, 7:30pm. An evening of MUNI stories.

“Road trip to Pluto” 4 Star Theatre, 2200 Clement; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $9.99-12. Thurs/28, 8:30pm. Bitter Show reprises its contribution to the SF Fringe Fest.

“Romane Event Comedy Show: Super Special Election and Halloween Edition” Makeout Room, 3225 22nd St; 647-2888, www.pacoromane.com. Wed/27, 7:30pm. Paco Romane’s guests include Will Durst, Casey Ley, Grant Lyon, and Pamela Ames.

Devendra Sharma CounterPULSE, 1310 Mission; www.counterpulse.org. $14-24. Thurs/28-Sat/30, 8pm; Sun/31, 2pm. CounterPULSe’s “Performing Diaspora” program presents a contemporary take on Nautanki theater by Sharma.

“Stories From a Haunted Forest” Presidio’s Log Cabin, 1299 Story; www.bindlestiffstudio.org. Free. Sat/30, 7pm. Bindlestiff Studio presents a one-night-only phantasmic experience.

“Teatro Zinzombie!” Pier 29 at Battery; 438-2668, www.love.zinzanni.org. 117-167. Sun/31, 5:15pm. TeatroZinzanni is haunted for one night.

Trailer Park Boys Palace Fine Arts Theatre, 3601 Lyon; 567-6642, www.ticketmaster.com. $45-58. Thurs/28, 7:30pm. The fabled boys appear live in concert.

“Twilight Vixen Revue” SOMArts, 934 Brannan; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $12. A special Halloween edition.

“Upper Cut” The Dark Room, 2263 Mission; www.darkroomsf.com. $10. Thurs/28, 8pm. A weekly improve and sketch comedy open mic.

BAY AREA

Hubbard Street Dance Chicago Zellerbach Hall, UC Berkeley campus, Berk; (510) 642-9988, www.calperformances.org. $31-68. Fri/29-Sat/30, 8pm. The acclaimed dance company performs some West Coast premieres.

“Persephone’s Boots” Codornices Park, Berk; www.raggedwing.org. Free. Wed/27-Sun/31, 5:30pm. Ragged Wing Ensemble presents the world premiere of a performance created by Anna Schneiderman and the ensemble.

 

 

Alerts

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news@sfbg.com

THURSDAY, OCT. 29

Bert for BART

BART board candidate Bert Hill, who is endorsed by a broad array of progressive organizations in his bid to unseat Republican incumbent James Fang, will be campaigning and meeting commuters along with several of his campaign’s supporters.

4:30–7 p.m., free

Balboa Park BART Station

401 Geneva Ave., SF

www.bert4bart.org

FRIDAY, OCT. 29

Halloween Critical Mass

Find a costume, hop on your bicycle, and join the monthly Critical Mass bike ride, Halloween edition. This rolling street party is always a fun way to flip the normal transportation paradigm, but it’s even more festive when composed of zombies, naughty nurses, and sexy cops.

6 p.m., free

Justin Herman Plaza

Market and Embarcadero

www.sfcriticalmass.org

Zombie Flash Mob

Guardian sources have warned that a mob of zombies, possibly dressed in prom attire, will rampage through the streets of the Mission. They are said to be protesting being marginalized and are showing their solidarity with the LGBTQ community. Eventually, our sources say, they will converge at El Rio, 3158 Mission St., for a zombie prom featuring live music by Elle Niño and others, with a cover charge of $3 for the undead and $7 for the living.

8 p.m., free

Corner of 16th and Mission, SF

elleninosf@gmail.com

SUNDAY, OCT. 31

(SF) Rally to Restore Sanity

If you can’t make it to the National Mall in Washington, D.C. for the Rally to Restore Sanity and the March to Keep Fear Alive, the send-up of political events by Comedy Central satirists Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert, you can still take part in SF’s local version. The event include guest speakers, comedy, poetry, and dancing.

9 a.m.–3 p.m., free

Civic Center Plaza

Larkin and Grove, SF

www.sfsanityrally.com

MONDAY, NOV. 1

Urban Water Rates

Panelists from the industry will seek to answer whether water pricing at the urban water agency level can work as a water conservation tool, whether rate increases jeopardize revenue, and how to serve low-income and low-use customers. RSVP at info@whollyh2o.org.

1 p.m.–3 p.m., free

Jellyfish Gallery

1286 Folsom, SF

www.whollyh20.org

TUESDAY, NOV. 2

Election Day

This election features pivotal races for the governor of California, U.S. Senate, and San Francisco Board of Supervisors, as well as important local and state propositions, so don’t forget to vote. Use this week’s cover as a cheat sheet or view our complete endorsements. Also visit the Guardian’s Politics blog on Election Day for a rundown on the evening parties and follow our live election coverage there that night.

7 a.m. to 8 p.m., free

SF City Hall basement

1 Dr. Carlton B. Goodlett Place, SF

www.sfgov.org/elections

 

 

Appetite: Del Maguey and the glories of mezcal

1

There’s mezcal and there’s Del Maguey. You may have heard me talk about Del Maguey mezcals and the line’s founder, Ron Cooper, in the past. A session with the gentle yet passionate Ron (like his mezcal seminar at 2010 Tales of the Cocktail) is an experience you’re not likely to soon forget. Even the way he describes fermentation stays with you: “wild creatures eating sugar, farting carbon dioxide, pissing alcohol!”

I’m leaving for Mexico next week, so sipping Del Maguey was getting me in the south of the border mood — even though I’m going to Tequila vs. Oaxaca, where most mezcal is produced. For the unfamiliar, mezcal is a spirit made from the heart (piña) of the maguey, an agave plant native to Mexico. Piñas are roasted underground, giving mezcal its distinctive smoky properties. Mezcal is the peaty scotch of tequila, which by definition is a mezcal made specifically from blue agave in Tequila, Mexico.

One thing I learned in Ron’s seminar is that traditionally, mezcal was rarely oak-aged for any length of time — more aged mezcals are being produced purely to gain in competing markets. Similar to tequila, mezcal styles include joven (literally “young,” and in this case referring to a silver liquor); blanco (white), which must be bottled within 2 months; reposado (rested), which ages 2-12 months in oak; anejo (mellow), aged a minimum of 1 year in oak; and the rare Pechuga (chicken breast), which can be triple-distilled with everything from fruits, nuts, white rice, to, yes, chicken.

Mezcal is usually drunk neat and you’ll find many in the Del Maguey line available by the shot at Nopalito. Places like Oakland’s Tamarindo Antojeria, with their new tequila bar, Miel, serve cocktails like the Mezcalito – ($12) with Del Maguey’s Creme de Mezcal, fresh orange and volcanic salt rim.

I’ve had the privilege of tasting most Del Maguey mezcals, each one a revelation. Here’s a few recommendations (available locally at Cask and K&L Wine Merchants):

Chichicapa, ($69.99) –  After multiple tastings, this may be my favorite for all-around balance. It marries the best elements of smooth smokiness with citrus. Despite a surprisingly light nose, there’s spice, chocolate, even mint on the finish. It reminds me of a fine coffee mole: succulent, spiced, earthy.

Crema de Mezcal ($39.99) – One of the more affordable in the line, this single village mezcal is made from unfermented agave syrup collected during roasting and exhibits a smoky, earthy sweetness with creamy texture. Works as a great introduction to mezcal for the uninitiated.

Mezcal Vida ($38.99) – Newer in the line, the Vida is another fine intro to mezcal: a pure, straightforward expression. Produced according to 400-year tradition with nothing but the agave heart and water, it’s bright with notes of fruit and sweet grass.

Tobala ($119.99) – Tobalá is a sophisticated level of mezcal, taking around eight Tobala piñas (hearts) to equal one piña from the most common maguey plants. Though fruity on the nose, the taste is elemental… smoke intermingles with tropical fruits and dusty cinnamon, with a long, smooth finish.

Minero ($69.99) – From the tiny village of Santa Catarina Minas, this mezcal is double-distilled, giving it greater smoothness with a floral essence tasting of warm honey and fig.

Santo Domingo Albarradas ($69.99) – Citrus and roasted pear combine with wood for a clean, dry mouth feel.

San Luis del Rio ($79.99) – Spice, fruit and ubiquitous smoke hit you on the nose, but there’s mineral citrus and volcanic earth inherent in this recent release produced two hours south of Oaxaca.

Pechuga ($200.00) – Pechuga starts with a double-distilled Minero base, to which 25 pounds of wild mountain apples, plums, red plantain bananas, pineapples, almonds and a few pounds of uncooked white rice are added to each 75 liters of mezcal for distillation round three. Though there is no taste of chicken, a whole chicken breast (minus the skin) has its excess oil removed while cleaned in water, then is hung over the still for a day while spirituous vapors condense into a clear liquid that drips from the bird into the mezcal. With intense citrus on the nose, this fruity spirit evokes earth but is a bright counterpart to the smoky, rocky soil of other mezcals. All that fruit imparts a robust fall glow by way of a gentle spring.

Subscribe to Virgina’s twice-monthly newsletter on SF’s hottest tastes and tipples, The Perfect Spot

 

Right back atcha, Big Brother

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I’ve been dabbling in dystopia of late. A little Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood, a little Brazil (1985) and bam! I’m up to my ears in fears of bureaucracy and government subterfuge and omnipresence – as if that’s a new thing. 

But on the real, it is a bit discomfiting, the similarities between our culture’s visions of the fall. This discomfort sharpens with “black sites” researcher Trevor Paglen‘s monograph Invisible: Covert Operations and Classified Landscapes (Aperture), an eerie book of photos and artifacts that acts like a show-and-tell of why we can’t trust The Man to level with us. Paglen will be presenting it at City Lights – those anarchos, of course! – Thurs/21.

“There are many kinds of invisibility. There is the invisibility of what is so taken for granted that few see it, the custom of the country, the water in which the fish swim. Thus to perceive that the U.S. is an empire on a permanent wartime basis is to be alien to, or become alienated from, the mainstream.”

So says writer Rebecca Solnit in her introduction to Invisible, which happens to be an excellent sourcebook for those wishing to be party to this alienation themselves. The book is a product of years of research on the part of Paglen, and is mainly comprised of photos he managed to take of things we are not supposed to see, like massive bunkers in the desert and streaking surveillance objects in the night sky. Though the photos – some taken from miles away, using high grade camera surveillance equipment – that Paglen has assembled of classified military compounds in the deserts of Southwestern United States are disturbing, what really got to me in his monograph were the badges. 

What in the god damn god damn? From left, military patches from an unknown mission, the Desert Prowler program, and the 1990s launch of an intelligent spacecraft. From Trevor Paglen’s Invisible: Covert Operations and Classified Landscapes

A freaky-weird Illuminati eye shooting lightning bolts. A dragon wrapping its scaly body around a globe. Inexplicable star patterns. These are the images created for the insignia patches worn by personnel of our government’s top secret missions. Sure, we know a little bit about them – a woman’s golden umbrella is explained by Paglen to be a symbol for the gold plate satellite systems that a particular mission helped to install – but for the main part they seem to use American English to speak a language that the rest of us aren’t aware of. 

A world supported by taxpayers, yet not seen by them. It’s for our safety, right? Again, Solnit: “If war is an act of violence to compel others to do our will, you can speculate on how the American people have been essentially subjugated by the war economy to keep paying for it.”

Seen in this way, the research that Paglen does seems to be a form of liberation. Hours spent in libraries (some with SFBG contributor A.C. Thompson at his side) have yielded passports that show people that are not people – CIA operatives, in fact, charged with the disappearance of terror suspects. 

There are long exposure photos of classified satellites tearing through the sky. Some of these are quite lovely, a craggy, water-surrounded peak in one under a phalanx of light diagonal streaks in the sky above. There’s nothing lovely though, about the fact that amateur astronomer network The Other Night Sky (of which Paglen is a part) has identified almost two hundred secretly-purposed objects in our atmosphere, placed there by our government for reasons that surely have to do with eminent safety matters. Right?

This was the dillemma presented by Invisible. Meaning: if these things are indeed so ubiquitous and codified – water and war, in Solnit’s example — are they normal? Should we be worried? Should we all take to the hills of Nevada with a backpack full of digital cameras and squint mightily past lines of no-entry?

Maybe we’ll depend on Paglen to do it for the moment. And, of course, look at his photo books. 

Trevor Paglen: Invisible: Covert Operations and Classified Landscapes

Thur/21 7 p.m., free

City Lights Bookstore

261 Columbus, SF

(415) 362-8193

www.citylights.com

 

Hot sexy events October 20-26

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You thought the real Halloween parties started next weekend? Ha! Wrong on two counts.

For one, you’re in San Francisco, so you know this is gonna be a ghoul gala that leaks out into the preceding and following weeks, if not months. Two, the portal to the other world opens the 22nd, not the 31st! (silly) Luckily, you have your deranged BDSM maniacs at the SF Citadel to remind you of the fact with Chamber of Horrors. For those together enough to have assembled their monster ‘fit early, a swell party to play out this journey into another realm where “the gods of old reach out from their dark place,” according to the press release. After all, what better place to witness the chaos that will ensue than a good old-fashioned dungeon? Whips at the ready, there’s gonna be evil spirits to subdue.

Air Sex Championships

Will this be sexy? Will you learn anything from a passel of performers humping the air, licking the air, squeezing the air’s titties? This grand tradition was started by a Japanese chap bereft of solid human beings to sex up. Now people across the world pretend, solo, on-stage, to being sexing – with clothes on. But will it… turn you on? For now, let’s file under maybe, but the event warrants exploration.

Wed/20 8 p.m., $15

The Independent

628 Divisadero, SF

(415) 771-1421

www.theindependentsf.com


Anal Pleasure for Couples

Honey a little wary of rear entry? Best to leave some things to the experts. Reassure them that nothing but good will befall them at this class with Lolo Winters, sex educator, who’ll be teaching on toys, position, and pleasure. Open to all genders and orientations.

Wed/20 6-8 p.m., $20-$25

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 354-0500

www.goodvibes.com


Chamber of Horrors

Hobgoblins and naughty, naughty night horrors reign at this dungeon play party. Get the Halloween heebie-jeebies started early and get in touch with your evil side. 

Fri/22 8 p.m., $25

SF Citadel 

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-1746

www.sfcitadel.org


Steamworks Full Moon Party

Steamworks launches a new play party! How’s it going to be different from their standard showers ‘n’ sex-a-thon? DJs? A $5 off discount when you tell them about the ad on their website? Sexy full moon graphics on the flier? Does it really matter – you’re getting laid!

Fri/22-Sat/23 8 a.m., $17-55

Steamworks

2107 4th St., Berk.

(510) 845-8992

www.steamworksonline.com

 

Exotic Erotic Ball and Expo

Time for marabou, corsetry, and befeathered top hats! Exotic Erotic is back for its 31st year of SF-born and bred debauchery. This year the whole shebang is on the water at Craneway Pavilion and there will be porn star performers from across the globe (even a chance to make it with your favorite!), orgasmic bingo, the Family Stone on stage, and a slew of fine purveyors of lust capitalism at the accompanying EE Expo.

Expo: Fri/22 4 p.m.-midnight and Sat/23 noon-6 p.m., $20

Ball: Sat/23 8 p.m.-2 a.m., $79-169

Craneway Pavilion

1414 Harbour Way South, Richmond

www.exoticeroticball.com


Breast Workshop Fiesta

Because you know it’s breast cancer awareness month – why not make it breast awareness month? Talking of tricks with the titties, Femina Potens is holding a special night of boobies, starring busty starlets Maxine Holloway and Bella Rossi, whose proceeds go straight to Shanti’s Lifelines breast cancer program. Squeeze ’em, ladies. 

Mon/25 6 p.m., $7-$20 sliding scale

Femina Potens

2199 Market, SF

(415) 864-1558

www.feminapotens.org

 

Docs and robbers

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arts@sfbg.com

FILM What are they putting in the water in Germany these days? Seems like gritty crime dramas are at the forefront of young filmmaker’s creative output, several of which have made it onto the 15th Berlin and Beyond Film Festival lineup. Also in great supply are a number of slice-of-life documentaries, many of which revolve around the topic of aging. Call it the Cloud 9 effect: after the success of the critically-acclaimed 2008 drama about a love affair between senior citizens, the desire to follow up with more tales of not going gently into the good night must have been irresistible. Three of the featured documentaries have elderly protagonists engaged in atypical post-retirement behavior.

Autumn Gold follows five athletes between 80 and 100 to the World Masters Athletics Championships in Lahti, Finland, where they compete in discus, shot put, high jump, and sprinting. The Woman with the Five Elephants pays a visit to Swetlana Geier, Germany’s premiere translator of Russian to German, who recently completed her masterpiece: a new translation of all five of Dostoyevsky’s major works. And my personal favorite, Silver Girls, a completely matter-of-fact portrayal of three professional prostitutes, ages 49, 59, and 64.

Just one of the three, Paula, has been a prostitute since young adulthood, and now runs a brothel of her own. Both the sweetly eccentric Christel, and the eiskalt Karolina, took up the trade in their 50s. In between clients, they lead rather unremarkable lives. Paula surfs the Internet. Christel hangs out with her lovable-oaf boyfriend Bernd and tends to her houseplants. Karolina heads out to a carnival with a grandkid, dressed to kill in shiny leather boots.

The boldest of the three, Karolina certainly looks the part of a sexagenarian dominatrix, with jet-black hair, an impenetrable demeanor, and several visible yet tasteful tattoos. She entertains at Christmas in a revealing, fallen-angel costume, and takes her slave shoe-shopping in a nice department store, kicking him as he kneels before her and telling him she doesn’t care whether or not he likes the fit. The other two may be less provocative in public, but as Christel assures us with a roguish grin, there’s a larger demand for “mature” services than you might think. Given the state of Social Security at the moment, it’s actually comforting to realize you’re never too old for a career change.

On the gritty crime front, two films stand out: The Silence, directed by Baran bo Odar, and The Robber, directed by Benjamin Heisenberg. In The Robber, Andreas Lust (previously seen at Berlin and Beyond in last year’s compelling Revanche), stars as Johann Rettenberger, a man driven mercilessly by his twin ambitions to win marathons and rob banks. Rather mechanistic in his approach to life, Rettenberger certainly doesn’t seem to derive any particular pleasure from his adrenaline-fueled exploits. He casually stuffs his loot under his bed and trains obsessively.

Any redemptive grace he might have found in the arms of old friend-new love interest Erika (Franziska Weisz) is shot after she (understandably) kicks him out of her home. And any sympathy the Austrian public might have for his resolve to remain free is pretty much spent after he murders his parole officer with a running trophy. Indeed, his perpetual cold-fish exterior is almost enough to kill the audience’s sympathy for him too — but something about his predicament is also fascinating. Like a junkie, Rettenberger must run and rob banks, not out of love or desire but joyless addiction. This apparent helplessness to stop the wheels of his own destruction turn The Robber into an existential antihero of sorts rather than just an unconscionable jerk making poor life choices. 

BERLIN AND BEYOND FILM FESTIVAL

Oct 22–28, most shows $11.50

Castro Theatre

429 Castro, SF

Oct. 30

Camera 12 Cinema

201 S. Second St., San Jose

www.berlinandbeyond.com

Exotic Erotic’s 31st round

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Perhaps you’ve seen them around town. The neon pink fliers announcing that SF’s most gloriously trashy tradition, the Exotic Erotic Ball and Expo, beckons saucily to you this weekend (Fri/22 and Sat/23). Were you curious about the providence of the posters’ graphic design, this just in from founder-behatted cartoon character Perry Mann: “we’re very aware that it’s breast cancer month.”

Well that would explain all the boob examiners! 2010 marks Mann’s 31st year of organized orgy, which nowadays draws in around 10,000 gawkers and pervs a year for onstage sex shows by world famous porn performers, elaborate fetish costuming, ribald entertainment (“we’ve got… orgasmic bingo? I don’t know what that is,” Mann admits to me on the phone), and surprisingly serious musical guests. Sort of. This year is the Family Stone, minus Sly. “We reached out to Sly,” Mann tells me. “If he can get off his crack pipe, he’ll show.”

Mann, who started the Ball famously as a fundraiser for buddy Louis Abolafia’s Nudist Party run at the presidency, has endured his fair share of setbacks in holding the event. A venue change under fractious circumstances (there’s been a few of them over the years associated with the ball, as the East Bay Express recently reported, including complaints that organizers withhold promised prizes from contest winners) has left the EEB with a venue that’s a touch more intimate than last year’s Cow Palace: the Craneway Pavilion, which has about 15 percent less capacity as the Cow. 

A consummate promoter, its difficult to get Mann off his press release script on the phone. We don’t chat about his assertions that disappointing ticket sales in years past were due to corrupted ticket-selling websites. We do, however, manage to cover event logistics. The Pavilion is basically a large glass box on the water, which is… less than ideal? ideal? for a show full of dedicated exhibitionists. The VIP section takes the aquatic escapade to another level: guests willing to pony up the $169 get to shiver their timbers on the San Francisco Belle, a riverboat whose very girth and heft seemed to impress Mann. 

This year’s VIP performance takes on occult themes – vampires being the sex gods of 2010 that they are. Those interested in taking the ticket price plunge can find a preview of events on the Belle at sex blogger (and performer that night), Fleur De Lis SF’s account of dress rehearsals.

And for the pervs off the A-list, don’t worry gang, Exotic Erotic is nothing if not democratically-inclined. In fact, big money’s on the random hallways and corners around Craneway to be where the real action’s at – but if you’re going for the canned stuff, the stages will play host to shows by Noname Jane, Dutch fetish model Ancilia Tilia, Eden Berlin, The Men of Exotica, and the Surreal SF Devil Girls.

Ready yet? Not til you’ve got your outfit, you’re not. The Ball has an anything-goes philosophy when it comes to, well, most things – and the motto definitely extends to sartorial affairs. Past attendees have rocked Bumblebee Transformer ‘fits, every possible form of lingerie — even, Mann tells me, a functioning bathtub that housed three friends for a night. 

“The whole event is about love, it’s really all about love,” says Mann, who himself will be rocking his customary top hat tricked out with “XXXI” in honor of the event’s 31st year spelled out in diamonds. Given his hopes that this year will correct a string of lackluster lust profiteering, his next comment should be a given. 

“Not real diamonds,” he clarifies. 

 

Exotic Erotic Ball and Expo

Expo: Fri/22 4 p.m.-midnight and Sat/23 noon-6 p.m., $20

Ball: Sat/23 8 p.m.-2 a.m., $79-169 

Craneway Pavilion

1414 Harbour Way South, Richmond

www.exoticeroticball.com