You could find no better brand rep than Swagger Cosmetics‘ Blake Karamazov. The tiny club kid (who came to us a few years ago fresh from the female drag-friendly land of Seattle) rarely leaves the house without her face immaculately, fantastically done — think ruby red 4mm glitter lips, sherbet orange eyebrows, or an exaggerated, smoky cat eye. The woman lives for everyday drag queen. But as a vegan, Karamazov bridled at many heavily pigmented makeup lines. Lucky us, because the Sanrio-obsessed entrepreneur started designing her own one-woman line of glitters, lipsticks, eye shadows — and most recently, fake eyelashes — manufactured 100 percent sans animal cruelty. Having recently made up one of her genderbending idols James St. James, there’s no question this babe’s got swag. Check her wares online, and don’t miss her wildly popular, glam-inspiring Instagram game.
Vegan
Best of the Bay 2013: BEST BE-SPOKED FASHION
We’re constantly on the hunt for the perfect outfit that will make it through our daily transition from work serf to night owl. Reversible scarves, tear-away skirts, all black outfits — those work OK. But what about then shoes? What pair of hoofers can glide us from the workbound bike lane to the underground dance floor? Welp, a local company has the solution to our woes: DZR Shoes, an SF-based (though they manufacture overseas) outfit that creates sneakers that can clip to all manners of pedal types, but look fly as all getout. Whether you go for high or low top, fully vegan design or whole grain leather, knee-high lace-up or slip-in, chances are you can find the kicks to complete your Lycra-free lane look in style. Our current favorite? The sleek, all-black Minna, designed by artist-DJ Jeremiah Bal.
Best of the Bay 2013: BEST WORLD SOUND BITES
Watch live flamenco and Arabian fusion music while you dance with a side of papas bravas and plantains. Take in the All-Star Latin Band on weekly Cuban and world music nights while munching Andean fresh corn tamales and yuca frita with cashew cream. Yes, North Beach’s intimate cultural center and restaurant Peña Pachamama (“on a little side street in San Francisco’s old Latin Quarter somewhere between Chinatown, Fisherman’s Wharf, and endless Italian late-night cafes”) offers up such startlingly refreshing culinary-auditory pairings, nearly every night of the week. The friendly South American restaurant and performance venue offers an exceptional range of cultural treats for your tummy and mind, and begs this simple question: why is it so damn hard to find vegan, gluten free, and/or deliciously organic cuisine at other music venues in veg-friendly San Francisco? No matter — Peña Pachamama has already delivered the goods, and they are spicy.
1630 Powell, SF. (415) 646-0018, pachamamacenter.org
Best of the Bay 2013: BEST FREEKEH-BEET TO FREAK ABOUT
It is with good reason that Hella Vegan Eats’ doughnut burger was the runaway star of the San Francisco Street Food Festival this year. No false modesty here: the Bay Guardian had already been praising that sticky delicious beet burger for months, even giving it top billing in our “Vegan Junk Food” feature. But no matter who broke the story; the real scoop here is that special dish, lovingly crafted by couple-founders Tiffany and Sylvee Esquivel, and showing up regularly at places like Dear Mom, Timeless Coffee in Oakland, and Dolores Park through La Cocina. Dig its moist-yet-crunchy patty fashioned from freekah (an ancient cereal) and beets and plopped between two (vegan) sugar donuts, piled high with pickled veggies, and laced with a tangy secret sauce. So wrong that it’s right.
Best of the Bay 2013: BEST REASON FOR VEGANS TO BRAVE THE FOG
Ramen is a staple of many an SF diet — especially in the chilly summer months laced with our trademark fog. But the dish almost always includes meat, or at the very least those so-called vegetarian noodles and veggies are floating in warm fish broth. It can seem particularly rude to dissect each element of the noodle bowl at a traditional spot, causing headaches for servers and hungry vegans alike. Enter Ken Ken Ramen, a popular Mission brick-and-mortar location that started as a pop-up. It proudly serves both the traditional stuff, unique nightly specials, and the noodle bowl of vegan dreams. No guessing, it’s labeled clearly on the menu: “Miso Vegan Ramen.” Ah, such a relief filling your belly with warm, tender noodles. And that sizzling bowl includes vegan broth, vegan noodles, and “veggies galore.” Vegans rejoice!
3378 18th St., SF. (415) 967-2636, www.eatkenkenramen.com
Best of the Bay 2013: BEST BORSCHT IN BERNAL
Even if you don’t much care for piroshkis (although if that’s the case, we feel only sorrow in our hearts for you), the borscht will keep you coming back to Anda Piroshki. Tucked away in the local mini-mall of the Marketplace on Cortland, the counter’s proprietor Anna Tvelova keeps things simple by offering only a handful of menu options. The signature Anda Piroshki borscht is one of the tastiest we’ve ever encountered — no mushy puree, this savory-sweet beet soup is a chunky, earthy stew of slow-cooked veggies and copious dill simmered in a broth and sold in six-dollar pints so flavorful it’s hard to believe that they’re vegan. But they are.
The Marketplace, 331 Cortland, SF. (415) 821-9905, www.andapiroshki.com
Best of the Bay 2013 Editors Picks: Shopping
SHOPPING
EDITORS PICKS
Editors picks are chosen by Guardian editors for special recognition for brightening the Bay Area experience.
BEST PLACE TO PARK YOUR CARD
Get that paper, paper, paper — printed. Holed up in a cozy garage with a cute dog and a hunky Vandercock proof press (a rare specimen last produced in the 1960s), the letterpress-loving ladies of Western Editions create and design paper goods for all occasions and situations, from badass business cards with handmade charm to colorful and direct wedding invites that may just get your flaky San Franciscan friends to actually attend the soirée. “Letterpress is magic,” is the motto of Western Addition residents Taylor Reid and Erin Fong, two friends turned business partners who are down to customize and open to suggestions, meaning you can make all the cute shit your ambitious heart desires, or purchase some one else’s great idea from their online store. Oh, hey, and they offer supercool DIY workshops, too — just in time for the holidays.
555 Rose, SF. www.westerneditions.com
BEST BE-SPOKED FASHION
We’re constantly on the hunt for the perfect outfit that will make it through our daily transition from work serf to night owl. Reversible scarves, tear-away skirts, all black outfits — those work OK. But what about then shoes? What pair of hoofers can glide us from the workbound bike lane to the underground dance floor? Welp, a local company has the solution to our woes: DZR Shoes, an SF-based (though they manufacture overseas) outfit that creates sneakers that can clip to all manners of pedal types, but look fly as all getout. Whether you go for high or low top, fully vegan design or whole grain leather, knee-high lace-up or slip-in, chances are you can find the kicks to complete your Lycra-free lane look in style. Our current favorite? The sleek, all-black Minna, designed by artist-DJ Jeremiah Bal.
BEST FLORAL HUNTRESS
Her eyes scanning the abandoned lots and hillsides of the Stinson area and East Bay, Louesa Roebuck of Louesa Roebuck Flora isn’t afraid to snoop, sneak, or hustle in the name of foraging for flowers. Her mission: fetch that wild flora and arrange it in ways that exemplify the plant’s natural majesty. Gleaning armloads of budding branches, floppy magnolias, brilliant poppies, sweet mallow, bright berries, and sharp citrus from both public and secret locations, Louesa finds beauty in imperfection, a sublime bouquet in nature’s fantastic mistakes. She lets the blooms and leaves curl, crawl, and droop as they will, showcasing the fascinating juxtaposition between life and slow, dreamy decay. Visit her tiny Hayes Valley shop to see the day’s treasures and meet some of the gorgeous plants living right beside you.
597 Hayes, SF. (415) 686-5482, www.louesaroebuck.com
BEST ONE-STOP SCOTCH SHOP
Like a sweater for your insides, the names warm your gray matter: Broichladdich, Glayva, Mackillop’s, Benriach, Balvenie, Glenmorangie. Standing in the sweetly crammed back bottle room of downtown’s Whisky Shop can be a meditative experience for scotch lovers — the selection of malts and blends vies for the city’s best, with employees as helpful as their kilts are fetching. And should the Whisky Shop staff’s sartorial motif inspire, the front portion of the store is stocked with a rainbow of tartan, wool, and waxed fabric wardrobe. Score kilts and genuine, betasseled fur sporrans you’ll use to stash your new perfectly heart-shaped silver flask. And possibly a novelty gift or two — the Whisky Shop is also flush with crest-adorned coasters, canned haggis, and artisan lotions from the United Kingdom.
360 Sutter, SF. (415) 989-1030, www.whiskeyshopusa.com
BEST COMMUNITY BOARDS
While there can be no debate that surf shops, in general, are selling a lifestyle, few are hawking a way of living as healthy as Mill Valley’s beloved Proof Lab. Need proof? The nine-year-old store (whose owners used reclaimed and reused materials wherever possible in its construction) stocks the best in sustainable men’s and women’s clothing, surfboard brands, and skateboard fixins, of course. But it also hosts a passel of community-minded offerings: sustainability workshops, toddler art classes, a native plant nursery, a biodiesel fuel station. On the lot next door you’ll find a teaching garden co-founded by Proof where one can take the occasional canning seminar, and buy fresh local produce. Plus: a new Equator coffee bar, to keep you up for those waves.
244 Shoreline Highway, Mill Valley. (415) 380-8900, www.prooflab.com
BEST CLAWS CARTEL
We bow down to the business acumen and sharp eye for trends possessed by Floss Gloss duo Aretha Sack and Janine Lee. These two California College of the Arts grads eschewed inward-looking artistic exploration, instead embarking on a mission to paint the world with the sizzling neons and kick-ass, vintage-inspired shades that haunt their minds eye. Their canvas? The fingernails of the Bay Area’s young, hip, and gifted. How did they take their line of animal cruelty-free nail polishes from late-night study sessions to indie and corporate retailers around the globe? (All while remaining 100 percent free of DBPs, formaldehyde, and other harmful chemicals — these colors may scream “heavy metal,” but contain none.) Let us count the ways: perfect nacho cheese orange and bikini coral lacquers; irresistibly chic tones like Party Bruise, Dimepiece, Black Holy, Faded, Pony, and Blood, Suede, and Tears; endless pop-up nail salons, hard work … and the knowledge that you can do anything when you’ve got a perfect 10 to point the way.
BEST BLADE RUNNER
It is a satisfying, luxurious — if fundamental — satisfaction, settling in to make dinner with a hiss-sharp passel of well-honed knives. Fans of cutting-edge pleasures will want to slip into Nob Hill’s Town Cutler, a well-hewn, immaculately organized shop of blades both wildly fabulous (a $1,050 Wilburn Forge Japanese chef knife, its silver nickel sharp marbled and lovely) and craftily utilitarian (a $100 handleless Takeda Kogotana meant for woodworking). Owner Galen Garretson will sell you these, sharpen the utensils you already own, teach you to work your own knives in a sharpening tutorial or informative class, and even help you get a handle on blunter culinary objects — the back of Town Cutlery is an elegantly hung array of those most-unsharp kitchen friends: spoons.
1005 Bush, SF. (415) 359-1519, www.towncutler.com
BEST BOOKS FOR THE BROKE
These are the facts: Reading is cool, books are rad, free books are even radder, and the best combo of all of these is the Bay Area Free Book Exchange. At any given moment, the space — run cooperatively by a cadre of indie booksellers and printed-page junkies — houses some 10,000 books, all free for the taking. (“It’s like an ever-changing treasure hunt among thousands of books,” its website declares, and we have to agree.) Since opening in May 2009, the Exchange has given away over 350,000 books during its weekend hours, with an ultimate goal of handing out a million, and beyond! Since it survives on donations, consider adding your own previously-read tomes to the stacks proudly bearing this stamp: “Not for Resale, This is a Free Book.”
10520 San Pablo, El Cerrito. (510) 705-1200, www.bayareafreebookexchange.com
BEST ROUNDABOUT OF FOUND GEMS
A compellingly curated combination of artwork by some of San Francisco’s eye-catching countercultural artists — with noteworthy post-industrial tinge courtesy of the Burning Man diaspora — and intriguing flea market finds by diligent shoppers with an eye for the urban aesthetic, Carousel Consignment SF is an oasis of great pre-found finds. This welcoming and decidedly funky Mission whirl, set in motion by co-owners Kelley Wehman and Illy McMahan (who bonded over their passion for all things circus and vintage), can turn a quick fly-by into an afternoon-long exploration. Furniture, toys, lighting, textiles … Its quirky assemblage of wares preserves its surroundings’ penchant for the wacky and weird.
2391 Mission, SF. (415) 821-9848, www.carouselsf.com
BEST SOLO STARTUPS
You know how it goes: surfing the www.aves of one’s sleek laptop, a stray image distracts. Suddenly, you’re no longer typing that return email — your mind has fixed on a different kind of click entirely. For you, sweets, SoMa brand Crave‘s line of tech-happy sex toys. Designed and produced by Ti Chang and Michael Topolovac, and assembled in the land of SF startup, each of the company’s gorgeous, whisper-quiet specimens have all the design and functionality of your favorite Apple toy. Our favorite is the Duet, a vibe with a double-pronged, silicone clitoral approach available in gold plating and with the option of eight or 16 GB of data storage thanks to a USB charging battery. That’s right: there is a USB port up in this vibrator. Adventurous souls can wear their pleasure out in public: Crave’s “Droplet” lariat necklace doubles as discreet nipple vibrators.
BEST HORROR HOUND DECOR
To some, a house full of Alex Pardee visual art would reap naught but disturbed sleep and missed meals. A living dream catcher made of exposed sinew and dripping eyeballs dangling from tendons, ready to snatch a soul; a roaring “Sharkasus” with razor teeth, four legs, and wings; an endless parade of your favorite horror icons rendered somehow even more terrifying by his spindly, precise strokes. But given the fact there are now two Bay Area shops stocked primarily with his prints, originals, and tees — in addition to the unnerving yet painterly work of other artists like Dave Correia — plenty of us are digging it. While shopping for the creep-craver in your life, you’ll do no better than the Oakland or Lower Haight location of Zero Friends, which has become a ground zero of sorts for the street art marketing scene.
419 Haight, SF. (415) 418-9912; 489A 25th St., Oakl. (510) 735-9405 (open first Fridays of the month or by appointment only); www.zerofriends.com
BEST REPAIR GRAND CENTRAL
Should you need a custom cabinet, a staircase rehab, perhaps a new cupola on your clock tower, you can turn to Clipper Construction’s Mathieu Palmer. But 501 Waller, the storefront Palmer owned and used as storage space — as he told local blog Haighteration — wasn’t the best use of a neighborhood-facing corner shop. Enter Palmer’s friend Dan Daniel, who created Clipper Repair from this clutter, a friendly place for fixing up, designing, or refurbishing anything you could imagine: lamps, cabinets, antique furniture, electrical things. The interior is a gorgeously organized wonderland of screws, nails, tools, gears, and random curiosities. And then! Garret Peters turned Clipper’s back storage room into a bike shop called Wiggle Bikes, conveniently located off the Wiggle, our crosstown thoroughfare for the two-wheeled. Could there be a more useful stop-off for lovers of sustainable transportation and reuse than the Clipper Repair-Wiggle Bikes complex?
501 Waller, SF. (415) 621-4733, www.clipper-construction.com
BEST GIVING FACE, FLAWLESSLY
You could find no better brand rep than Swagger Cosmetics‘ Blake Karamazov. The tiny club kid (who came to us a few years ago fresh from the female drag-friendly land of Seattle) rarely leaves the house without her face immaculately, fantastically done — think ruby red 4mm glitter lips, sherbet orange eyebrows, or an exaggerated, smoky cat eye. The woman lives for everyday drag queen. But as a vegan, Karamazov bridled at many heavily pigmented makeup lines. Lucky us, because the Sanrio-obsessed entrepreneur started designing her own one-woman line of glitters, lipsticks, eye shadows — and most recently, fake eyelashes — manufactured 100 percent sans animal cruelty. Having recently made up one of her genderbending idols James St. James, there’s no question this babe’s got swag. Check her wares online, and don’t miss her wildly popular, glam inspiring Instagram game.
BEST WAY TO THROW SHADE, PART I
You don’t care if they work from home or not — the neighbors are taking too much pleasure from your lax approach to towels on the post-shower strut from the bathroom, and you sense an overeager, extra pair of peepers when you and your sweet are snuggled up watching Jessica Lange chew the scenery on American Horror Story: Coven. Thank goodness for Christine and Jeff Vidall, whose Art Shade Shop has been keeping neighborly boundaries firm in a densely-packed city since 1934. Wood slats, pleated blinds, sunbrellas, fabric coverings — this Castro couple has it all, perfect for the moment you need more privacy than those gorgeous bay windows will afford on their own. The basement shop (nook, really) also offers bead and reel clutch mechanisms, bottom-up lock pulleys, and Hauser roller shades. If you don’t know what any of that is, they’ll gladly install it all for you anyway.
698 14th St., SF. (415) 431-5074, www.artshadeshop.com
BEST WAY TO THROW SHADE, PART II
And then there are times when you just need a retreat from harsh illumination. Perhaps the fluorescent bars at the office seared your retinas too deeply today, or maybe you wish to give your date a softly lit, haloed-in-shadow version of ever-romantical you. These are the moments in which you’ll be grateful for Lamp Shades SF and its colorfully appointed showroom, ready to shield you from the ever-burning light. A leopard topper for that candlestick fixture? Modern puce shades for the chandelier in the foyer? A pair of matching onyx horse head bedside numbers? You will find them all here. Bring the base or bulb for which you need a topper, ring the doorbell to be allowed entrance, and let the decidedly unshady staff help you select the level of lighting best suited for your look.
199 Potrero, SF. (415) 431-6720
BEST RIFFS KEPT REAL
If you’re looking for a vintage instrument with a personal touch, Panhandle Guitar hits all the right chords. Rock fiends will swoon for the intimate, nicely overstuffed shop’s collection of prime and shiny vintage guitars, basses, amps, and effects. Panhandle buys old instruments too — on consignment, or trade-in — and offers on-site repairs. Owner Robert Williams is known for his encyclopedic knowledge, and there’s a laid-back and welcoming vibe we dig, charmed by store windows cluttered with neon signs and a child mannequin in an oversized Panhandle Guitar T-shirt. Guitar Center this is not; the stated store hours seem more like vague suggestions of when it might be open, and Mondays are simply listed as “some times” open with a smiley face. This kind of store is sadly uncommon these days — a unique, owner-run vendor of rare instrumental goods, tuned into the needs of fellow artists.
1221 Fell, SF. (415) 552-1302, www.panhandleguitarsf.com
BEST RING-A-DING STYLE
When Cable Car Clothiers — venerable haberdasher to dashing gents since 1946 — announced it was vacating its Sansome and Bush location in 2012, our hearts sank. Was this incredible emporium of all things Mad Men-Rat Pack-Nautical Chic-Dressy Preppy about to vanish, like so many other San Francisco institutions? Where, oh where, would we get our crushable Trilby fedoras, handsomely polka-dotted navy blue ascots, and elaborate cherry-handled horsehair brush sets? Never fear: the relocation a few blocks away signaled a snazzy revamp. Jonathan Levin, grandson of original Clothier Charles Pivnick, had returned to the family business, determined to pump some classy 21st Century zazz into the joint. The large, handsome new showroom retains all the charm of the former space — but decks it out in voluminous racks and shelves of exquisite menswear treasures. Another reason to spend your entire afternoon here: the in-store barbershop with master barber Nicky and associates providing hot lather and straight razor shaves, hot toweling, scissor hair cuts, and more. You want full-service swank? This is the place, my man.
110 Sutter, SF. (415) 397-4740, www.cablecarclothiers.com
BEST DREAMY DRESSMAKER
Wiggle your bike down to this sweet little corner shop near Duboce Park for lessons in fine and lovely things. Aline’s Closet is the three-year-old queendom of a one Aline Dazogbo, a seamstress whose French-inflected takes on dresses, skirts, and blouses may just lead you to the customized wardrobe item of your dream. Dazogbo designs and creates nearly everything in the shop: yoga pants, handbags, column skirt-tube top combos, and more. Though many items are ready-to-wear, a rack along one wall of the sunny store showcases the garments she can tailor-make just for you: a lace-paneled velvet slip, a clingy, cap-sleeved onesie. Should her sweet, sassy patterns stray even one iota from your fantasy outfit, don’t fret: Dazogbo loves to help customers concoct one-of-a-kind wearables based out of nothing more than their own visions.
101 Pierce, SF. (415) 312-3468, www.alinescloset.com
BEST CULINARY GEPETTO
Powerful chrome and polished enamel parts, operated by hand, executing a series of swift cuts and swooping motions. Classic design masterfully crafted, all building to — gasp! — the perfect slice of salami. Welcome to the world of Emilio Mitidieri, the man who brings the Bay Area’s venerable Emiliomiti “culinary toys” to life. Though his company is playfully named, Mitidieri’s creations mean business — wood fire and gas brick ovens that yield perfectly cooked pizza pies, pasta machines that extrude dreamy strands of fettuccini, and specimens like the Slicer Mito 300, an elegantly crafted meat slicer that mimics the classic designs of the deli of yesteryear. Mitidieri has been supplying restaurants and dedicated chefs with the tools needed for success for decades now, so chances are you’ve already sampled some of his playful perfection topped with marinara or nestled in a hoagie roll.
BEST HAVEN FOR HEARTS OF GLASS
Bolivian-born David Forte’s SoMa workshop has one mission: to light up your life, and colorfully at that. Opened in 1971, Forte’s San Francisco Stained Glass Works is the place to go for those who would have blooming lilies twinkling above a front door, or an Art Deco Emerald City to enliven the upper strata of one’s workspace. The shop turns out devotional works for pane-minded churches and synagogues and extravagantly lovely flatware sets. Others flock to learn the craft themselves. A course on glass fusing and a stained glass 101 are both offered by Forte’s staff, not to mention monthly space rentals for artists in need of a communal glass grinder, firing kiln, and place to indulge a penchant for transcendent translucents.
1246 Howard, SF. (415) 626-3592, www.sfsgw.com
BEST SF TO A TEE
Local artist Amos Goldbaum hand-draws and hand-prints some of the most recognizable, SF-centric t-shirts (and hoodies, tanks, and baby onesies) available on the streets — literally, on the streets, since he also hand-sells his wares from wire racks on Valencia, near the Ferry Building, at street fairs like the recent Castro Street Fair, and other open-air spots. Goldbaum’s complete repertoire goes far beyond the familiar tourist-friendly landscapes he’s known for: his web portfolio is packed with psychological, fantastical illustrated scenes you’d spot immediately in a gallery — but probably never witness out a Muni window. When it comes to uniquely Bay gifts, though, you won’t want to miss his quirky, amazingly detailed and vibrant line-drawing takes on local landmarks like Dolores Park, with old-school playground intact, and Bernal Hill — or his illo of the old-timey Sutro Baths, complete with Cliff House aflame in the background.
BEST JUNK BONDS
Inside the massive American Steel building, a relic of Oakland’s industrial past repurposed and managed mostly for the Burning Man art world, there’s a beautifully intricate two-story Western saloon made from recycled materials, originally built as the Dustfish Bordello for Black Rock City in 2009. In the intervening years, the structure has matured into what is now known as American Steel’s Oaktown Hall, an art gallery and event space that became a hub this year for a variety of ventures within what its organizers call the salvage and reuse arts. Skate ramps! Haitian art tours! Crazy, old-timey auctions! The hall is a gathering place and focal point for those who would find creative reuses for so-called junk, and build relationships among West Oakland’s diverse communities.
1960 Mandela Parkway, Oakl. (415) 794-1827, www.oaktownhall.com
BEST TIP-TOP SPIFF UP
It has been remarked that West Portal is quite the happy village in the middle of this teeming city. We concur. Tucked into the side of a hill topped by a Twin Peak, slung happily along a leafy central promenade, the neighborhood is not the worst model for Main Street, USA. Tip and Top Vacuum & Shoe Service, particularly seen in this light, is an all-American gem. Bring in your dirt sucker for a fix-me-up and the capable staff will get it back to dirt bunny-busting in two shakes of a dusty rug. And like any good member of a small community, Tip and Top is a multitasker, as evident from the boots in the window. The shop also repairs shoes, and will even custom-cobble you a boot or slipper. To recap: Tip and Top fixes vacuums and shoes, it’s cute as a button, and you kind of need to check it out.
173 W Portal, SF. (415) 664-9320
BEST FRESH FLOWERS
All over the news last year: Medical marijuana dispensaries in San Francisco and other cities were being shut down by a spasm of overzealous and anachronistic enforcement by the federal government (see “Why?” 8/14/12). But a wave of young clubs were undaunted by the headlines. Indeed, many went through the entirely navigable local approval process for cannabis clubs and threw open their doors, come what may from Kamala Harris, Eric Holder, and the rest of the “drug warriors.” Among the best of the bunch? Bloom Room, an elegant establishment just a stone’s throw from hoity-toity Mint Plaza and the Chronicle Building in the heart of downtown. “Where medicine blooms wellness follows” is its somewhat logically fuzzy yet totally cromulent motto. Bloom Rooms got great weed — strains like Grape Romulan (I), Girl Scout Cookies, Chem Dawg, Pink Lemonade, and a special Bloom Blend — at decent prices, weighed out by super-nice and knowledgeable employees, in a classy, exposed brick interior. Here’s hoping Bloom’s given enough room to put down some roots.
471 Jessie, SF. (415) 543-7666, www.bloomroomsf.com
BEST 78S OFF HAIGHT
“I’ve had it with these cheap sons of bitches who claim they love poetry but never buy a book,” SF literary legend Kenneth Rexroth once supposedly said. Many share his sentiment when it comes to music — especially as our city rapidly empties itself of neighborhood record stores (and book stores, too, for that matter). Rexroth himself used to live above Jack’s Record Cellar, one of our longest-operating vinyl concerns — since 1951! — and also one of the most poetic spots in the city. Packed with the rarest of 33s, 45s, and, miraculously, stacks of so-desirable-we-can’t-stand-it 78s, Jack’s has all the jazz you want — plus soul, opera, country, doo-wop, standards, and classic pop. Memorabilia papers the walls, and piles of records spill out onto the aisles. Like many spots in the area, it’s more of a relaxed hangout than a capitalist venture. Conversation is prized over cash receipts. Open hours are spare and unpredictable. Saturday afternoons are a good bet, proprietor Wade Wright might be there to let you in. Unlike Rexroth, he values the love over the sale.
254 Scott, (415) 431-3047
BEST READING REVIVAL
After a 25-year stint on 16th Street in the now-teeming Valencia Corridor, and years of rumors of impending closure, a steep rent increase nearly caused literary, cultural, and artistic hub Adobe Books to shut its doors for good. But supporters launched a fundraising campaign using crowd-funding platform Indiegogo and succeeded in raising $60,000, enough to secure a new home on 24th Street — which, along with the re-situated Modern Times Bookstore, has become somewhat of a haven for gentrification-fleeing libraries. “Adobe has been such an important part of our lives as artists, writers, book lovers, and Mission dwellers,” the bookstore and gallery’s boosters wrote, in what turned out to be a wildly successful pitch. “We couldn’t see the Mission without it.”
3130 24th St, SF. (415) 864-3936, www.adobebackroomgallery.com
Best of the Bay 2013 Editors Picks: Food and Drink
FOOD AND DRINK
EDITORS PICKS
Editors picks are chosen by Guardian editors for special recognition for brightening the Bay Area experience.
BEST ALL-NATURAL SWEETIE
Juice may be the perky cheerleader in a made-for-tweens drama, but smoothies are the quiet girl that the plot eventually turns on — you know, the one with deeper substance, a touch of shy sweetness, perhaps a few creamy curves. Maybe smoothies aren’t hip to the cleansing trend, and maybe they don’t come packaged in a collectible glass bottle, but nobody puts them in the corner. The ingredient list for Morning Brew Cafe’s Happiness smoothie is deliciously minimal — avocado and whole milk — but your satisfaction will reach maximal heights. The silky combination of rich, ripe avo and thick dairy makes for a delicious sip and a full belly of healthy fat and vitamins. It’s a real meal, great as breakfast or post-workout replenishment. If you’re not a fan of the animal products, request almond milk and reap the additional protein benefits.
401 Sansome, SF. (415) 986-4206, www.morningbrew.com
BEST BUN NOODLIN’
Yes, you will do it in part for the Instagram. However, the hypebeasts were right on this one: Nombe’s ramenburger is something any self-respecting gourmand in this town has to try. (Curious folks waited over an hour to try one at the SF Street Food Festival, and no one laughed at them.) The burger of Wagyu beef and pork belly tucked between two ramen noodle buns is a culinary voyage, sometimes accompanied by miso, shiitake, and blue cheese if you’re looking for a true umami blast-off. Pro tip: come to Japanese-style izakaya Nombe on half-off wine bottle Wednesday and please, sort out the appropriate photo filter after you eat the thing. This is one burger that is best devoured straight from the kitchen, before the hype (or noodle) has had a chance to cool.
2491 Mission, SF. (415) 681-7150, www.nombesf.com
BEST “MADE” PIZZA
If San Francisco’s classier pizza joints ever threw down in some kind of mozzarella-fueled turf war, the smart money would be on Capo’s — the year-old North Beach joint that’s just as versed in Prohibition Era gangster culture as it is in tasty pizza. Chef Tony Gemignani clearly knows what he’s doing with his award-winning, Chicago-style pies (four choices of crust, from deep dish to “cracker thin”), but the man also has a flair for décor: hand-painted tin ceiling, a 1930s phone booth that actually functions, a bar that pays homage to the Golden Gate Bridge, and snappy red leather booths themed around gangsters of note — with memorabilia to match. Where else can you enjoy Quattro Forni (a pie specialty made using four ovens!) while admiring poker chips once owned by Al Capone? Nowhere else, wise guy. Capisce?
641 Vallejo, SF. (415) 986-8998, www.sfcapos.com
BEST BORSCHT IN BERNAL
Even if you don’t much care for piroshkis (although if that’s the case, we feel only sorrow in our hearts for you), the borscht will keep you coming back to Anda Piroshki. Tucked away in the local mini-mall of the Marketplace on Cortland, the counter’s proprietor Anna Tvelova keeps things simple by offering only a handful of menu options. The signature Anda Piroshki borscht is one of the tastiest we’ve ever encountered — no mushy puree, this savory-sweet beet soup is a chunky, earthy stew of slow-cooked veggies and copious dill simmered in a broth and sold in six-dollar pints so flavorful it’s hard to believe that they’re vegan. But they are.
The Marketplace, 331 Cortland, SF. (415) 821-9905, www.andapiroshki.com
BEST ZAP IN A GLASS
One of the most amazing recent dishes to smack the local foodie scene upside the head: Mission Chinese Food’s Chongqing chicken wings, the little crispy limbs buried in so many “explosive” chili peppers that one bite actually numbs your entire mouth. It’s the weirdest, most viscerally addictive experience on our menus. But what if we told you it was also available in cocktail form? Wow and ouch! The Alembic’s Nine Volt leapt onto the ever-innovative Haight Street bar’s summer cocktail menu this year (crafted by bar manager Danny Louie) and zapped us to attention. Served with white Szechuan peppers — yep, sourced from Mission Chinese — but gorgeously balanced with Aviation gin, green tea, and grape juice, this baby gives out a recharging tongue-in-the-socket thrill without any battery-acid stomach repercussions. Here’s hoping the Nine Volt sticks around through winter: we could use the heat.
1725 Haight, SF. (415) 666-0822, www.alembicbar.com
BEST BARLEYWINE BLAST
Although it’s been absorbed to an extent by SF Beer Week, Toronado’s annual Barleywine Festival has been around much longer (20 years as of last February), and it eschews the exuberant trappings of most of its festival kin to focus strictly on what’s most essential — the booze. As strong as wine but brewed as a beer, barleywines fall beyond stouts, doppelbocks, and tripels on the strong beer spectrum, and are best savored slowly and with a degree of reverence, which Toronado facilitates with generous, inexpensive sample pours of over 50 varieties from around the world. And, dear hearts, the festival always falls on the weekend closest to Valentine’s Day, making it the perfect destination (or distraction) for the lovers and loners alike.
547 Haight, SF, (415) 863-2276, www.toronado.com
BEST BURMESE BRUNCH BRUSSELS SPROUTS
The wait line to get into excellent Inner Richmond Burmese restaurant Burma Superstar is legendary — so legendary that most of us stopped considering it as a dinner option. So when, a few years ago, the owners announced they would be opening a “little sister” down the block named B Star Bar, we rejoiced. B Star Bar kept some of Burma Superstar’s favorites, like the lauded tea leaf salad, but it specialized in innovative Asian comfort food twists. Among the surprises: one of the best brunch menus in the city, including a delectable duck hash quesadilla, succulent tocino (bacon-like Asian jerk pork) with garlic rice, and a full selection of jooks (rice porridge) with all the fixings. But the real brunch superstar here is B Star Bar’s brunch “B Sprouts” — perfectly roasted Brussels sprouts tossed with furikake (rice seasoning), fish sauce, Parmesan, and popped rice that adds a cheery wake-up crunch. The diverse flavors combine so well, we could brunch on these little green gems forever (with mimosas, of course).
127 Clement, SF. (415) 933-9900, www.bstarbar.com
BEST SURPRISE SANDWICHES
“Pastries for lunch?” Your friends might scoff, but oh, what a surprise they’re in for upon entering this hidden gem tucked between office buildings and business folks. “Banh mi!,” they will exclaim, and although there will not be streamers or confetti to complement their shocked expressions, these little sandwiches will do the delighting in both taste and value. Muffins Muffins, tucked innocuously off Second Street, serves up delicious, made-to-order banh mi for as little as five bucks. The vegetarian option features some tasty faux meat with a tangy finish, topped with jalapeños and hugged by a soft bun. Carry your lunch to nearby Yerba Buena Gardens for a Financial District adventure that doesn’t require a suit or a fatty wallet.
123 Second St, SF. (415) 342-7588
BEST WORMWOOD WARLOCKS
There aren’t many in the craft-spirit making movement who can boast of having a US Navy nuclear engineer as a master distiller. The story goes: Lance Winters came to St. George Spirits and presented founder Jörg Rupf with a homemade batch of whiskey in lieu of resume. He got the job, and under his watch, St. George churned out its single malt whiskey and a line of gins. In 2007, it became the first in the nation to legally release a wormwood liqueur, and continues to be well known for its excellent Absinthe Verte. In a retrofitted Alameda naval hanger turned HQ, test stills are charmed into producing oddball booze flavors including oysters, Dungeness crab, or even the company Christmas tree. “If we’re not pushing the limits of our creativity,” they explain, “our spirits aren’t going to be any different or better than stuff that’s already out there.”
2601 Monarch, Ala. (510) 769-1601, www.stgeorgespirits.com
BEST CELEB BREAD
Oh, you thought Food Network personality Tyler Florence was the celebrity most likely to appear at the elegant American bistro he owns in the Financial District? Nope. Before you even order off the classy-comfort-food menu, you’ll have your brush with fame. Instead of a bread basket (boring!), at your table will appear Wayfare Tavern’s popovers — crisp, golden brown, egg-battered treats so delicious you’ll be tempted to spoil your meal with multiple servings. (And so legendary that several staff members sport popover tattoos.) In August, Florence tapped a new executive chef in Joey Elenterio and word on the street is new menu items will follow, so this might be a grand time to make a reservation. Just keep those popovers coming, please!
558 Sacramento, SF. (415) 772-9060, www.wayfaretavern.com
BEST POPPED-UP BOTTLES
You know what this place could use? Some no-frills, open-to-all wine tasting. Enter Mugsy Wine Bar, a pop-up most often spotted at El Rio that knows how to class up a place without bringing down the mood, aided by sips from local vintners. The Mugsy tasting notes: “a wine bar with an emphasis on women, urban, and people of color winemakers” with a mouth-feel of “all-around enjoyment.” And this pop-up is pop-cultured. Witness, theme nights: “Mugsy is the New Black” (a play on Netflix smash-hit prison drama series, “Orange is the New Black”) for which the team brought out lesbian-owned Oakland winery Fraina Blanco. Then there was “Popping up for Pride” night, when bottles were uncorked from Alameda’s Rock Wall Wines and Urban Legend Cellars of Oakland. Hooray for local vino pride.
mugsywinebar.tumblr.com
BEST PALETA CLEANSER
So you’ve just gobbled down an incredible meal at Nopalito that began with a heaping bowl of melted-cheese-covered tortilla chips, followed by carnitas and several bites of your tablemate’s chicken mole. You sipped multiple mezcal-laced cocktails (try the Killer Bee). You are officially stuffed. But when the server comes around asking if you want dessert, there’s only one answer: yes, yes you want in on Nopalito’s housemade popsicles. These paletas hechas en casa may be the only dessert option at either of the restaurant’s two locations, but they’re a thick, rich cut above anything you’ll find in the corner store freezer. There’s a choice of flavors: seasonal fruit or chocolate-cinnamon — the latter like eating a big, ice-cold hunk of Mexican chocolate.
306 Broderick, SF. (415) 437-0303; 1224 Ninth Ave., SF. (415) 233-9966, www.nopalitosf.com
BEST LUNCH PARTY IN THE USA
Perish all lunchtime thoughts of those tea-sipping, watercress sandwich-prone Windsors across the pond — in America, our royalty slurps down such delights as fried peanut butter and banana sandos. But, if you’re the worldly sort and prefer a slightly more elegant take on Elvis-inspired cuisine, point your pink Cadillac toward the Lunchpad. At this daytime sandwich pop-up inside new Hayes Valley wine bar Noir Lounge, one can king oneself with an “Almost Elvis,” Nutella and banana on pain de mie (with an add-bacon option, natch). Savory Lunchpad hits include twists on the classics (roast turkey with habañero candied bacon!) and specials (fried chicken sandwich). Oh, and fans of Hollywood royalty take note: A recent lox-and-eggs concoction paid tribute to Leonardo DiCaprio.
581 Hayes, SF. (415) 552-6647, www.thelunchpadsf.com
BEST CULTURED CACAO
Born of owner Arcelia Gallardo and co-owner Amelia Gonzalez’ passion for Latin America’s rich pre-Colombian heritage, Casa de Chocolates offers spicy, artisanal iterations of the divine sweet, expertly accented by the flavors of Mesoamerica’s traditional food staples. The women’s dual interests in the culinary and cultural make for an exciting, informed menu — one can pick up a box of mole, passionfruit, guayaba, and tamarind-filled handmade bon-bons, or leave the realm of cacao entire for a silky pumpkin flan or a chipotle caramel. There is such a thing as a tequila-filled chocolate butterfly! Though many items, like a foot-wide dark chocolate rendering of the revered Aztec calendar, are available in the shop’s online store, you’ll have to make an in-person appearance for some specialties including a piquant glass of frozen Mexican chocolate, or standout tres leches cupcakes.
2629 Ashby, Berk. (510) 859-7221, www.casadechocolates.com
BEST RETRO EGG CREAM
Did you think egg creams were something you’d only ever experience onscreen in a teens-of-the-1950s movie? Then welcome the sweet, bustling counter here — named for its owner’s great-grandmother — which is doing its part to bring retro sippin’ to the FiDi lunch masses. While you’re there, it’s well worth sampling one of the Jewish-style deli’s delicious, rye-bread sandwiches or bagel concoctions, but Shorty Goldsteins’ egg creams (made with syrup, milk, and seltzer) are a cult classic in the making, with flavors that usually include vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and salted caramel. And if you’d prefer not to drink your dessert … Shorty’s thick, decadent cheesecake just might put your head on swivel instead.
126 Sutter, SF. (415) 986-2676, www.shortygoldsteins.com
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER BAR
A cozy bar with unbeatable drink deals, a genre-spanning variety of DJ nights (soul! Classic country! Brazilian! 1950s mod!), undiscovered by the mouth-breathing masses, yet conveniently located just a few meatball-lengths away from the Emmy’s Spaghetti Shack? What is this magical establishment? Look no further than the spot so friendly it’s named El Amigo — offering late-night drink specials and stocking 40 kinds of tequila. Hi! The joint is owned by the same team behind the ever-popular Emmy’s, providing a great perch for drinking away your wait for a table. And join us there for a cheap beer and a shot at midnight, you might become our BFF.
3355 Mission, SF. Facebook: El Amigo Bar
BEST ESCAPE EN ESPAÑOL
Hayes Valley is a neighborhood in constant flux — witness the condo complex that’s rising where the Hayes Valley Farm’s beehives and veggie rows once stood. Just across Fell Street from this construction is year-old specialty market Nosa Ria (speaking of change, the space was previously a hair salon), selling what its sandwich-board sign dubs “quintessential Spanish foods” — and we dub indubitably delicious. Its list of unique, hard-to-find imports includes grocery staples (cured meats, cheese, olive oils, etc.), wines and sherry, and treats (chocolate! Chupa Chups!). Oh yes, there is that ever-elusive jamon serrano in the house, as well as squid in ink, thick and sweety turron, and all the paella fixings you need, including tha pans. That trip to Galicia and/or Andalusia may be still in the planning stages, but you can start refining your palate ahora.
500 Laguna, SF. (415) 529-1506, www.nosaria.com
BEST PASTRY ERUPTION
Certainly, you can visit this Marina bakeshop without ordering Le Marais Bakery’s Volcan, but this is foolhardy. On your last island getaway did you dither about in the airport gift shop, fretting over gaudy short-sleeve button-downs and plastic leis, tempting as they may be? Of course not, you went straight to the top of Kilauea and delighted in its heart-racing flows and crispy geological crusts. And so you will, bold one, at Le Marais. You’ll save that baguette for later and dive straight into a Volcan, one of the shop’s deep dishes of light and flakey crust, molten ricotta, and some kind of something — Llano Seco pork perhaps, or a smattering of sharp Parmesan. But be warned: any tummy rumblings after this first taste of paradise may signal another trip to Chestnut Street for a buttery, savory baked eruption.
2066 Chestnut, SF. (415) 359-9801, www.lemaraisbakery.com
BEST REASON FOR VEGANS TO BRAVE THE FOG
Ramen is a staple of many an SF diet — especially in the chilly summer months laced with our trademark fog. But the dish almost always includes meat, or at the very least those so-called vegetarian noodles and veggies are floating in warm fish broth. It can seem particularly rude to dissect each element of the noodle bowl at a traditional spot, causing headaches for servers and hungry vegans alike. Enter Ken Ken Ramen, a popular Mission brick-and-mortar location that started as a pop-up. It proudly serves both the traditional stuff, unique nightly specials, and the noodle bowl of vegan dreams. No guessing, it’s labeled clearly on the menu: “Miso Vegan Ramen.” Ah, such a relief filling your belly with warm, tender noodles. And that sizzling bowl includes vegan broth, vegan noodles, and “veggies galore.” Vegans rejoice!
3378 18th St., SF. (415) 967-2636, www.eatkenkenramen.com
BEST PATCHED-UP WATERING HOLE
Perhaps it is, as the official line of the newly renovated Dogpatch Saloon goes, high time for a 100-year-old bar to undergo a facelift. The bar’s new ownership headed by Christopher Barry, the mind behind downtown’s 83 Proof, seemed like it had its heart in the right place, but the neighborhood bar’s clientele had a right to be worried about the integrity of its comfy watering hole in a rapidly evolving area. Lo and behold: the change was good. Fresh new cocktails lubricate a complete (but not drastic) rehash of the age-old interior, and the characters assembled around the bar continue to convey the scruffy ragtagliness of the dockside ‘hood. We like it when well-loved institutions move smoothly with the times, especially when that motion involves a cocktail shaker.
2496 Third St., SF. (415) 643-8592, www.dogpatchsaloon.com
BEST OUT-THERE GROCERIES
Houses in the Sunset may be built on dunes, but make no mistake, the neighborhood is no food desert. The flagship of the snacktastic stretch of outer Judah Street (see also: locavore haven Outerlands, beloved Mexican resto Celia’s by the Beach) is without a doubt grocery co-op Other Avenues, about to round the bend on year 40 in the western neighborhood. This is world-class healthy food: happy-making bulk bins, raw milk, vivacious produce, with a thoughtful wine selection and holistic med shelves so complete you’ll never have to trek into neighborhoods that look down on wearing sandals to re-up on herbs and tonics. Plus it’s cute, friendly, and neatly crammed into a smallish storefront, you’ll never lose the gist of your shopping list after giving your neighborhood a hearty “howdy.”
3930 Judah, SF. (415) 661-7475, www.otheravenues.coop
BEST COMMUTER CRUSTS
The Mexican-Italian house of Juan Gutierrez opened The Sandwich Place in 1979 when Gutierrez was only 14 years old. A tiny shop that just fits its refrigerator cases full of bevs and counter, the shop sits a stone’s throw from the 16th Street BART station in a bustling milieu of commuters, street preachers, and the occasional demonstration or spoken word open mic. In such a space, one would expect strict utilitarianism. But Gutierrez would scoff at such assumptions — quickly, in his exuberantly bilingual manner. One look at the Place’s vast menu reveals everything from chicken milanesas and bacon-wrapped hot dogs to a superb Portobello-and-balsamic sando from an impressive veggie section, all served on his fresh homemade breads in standard and gluten-free varieties. Better than the chain stores? By a million miles. And chances are, you won’t have to travel even one to find out.
2029 Mission, SF. (415) 431-3811
BEST GROWTH IN THE YARD
Back in 1992, inmate counselor Catherine Sneed started pioneering programs for former offenders that eventually led to the implementation of the San Francisco Jail’s Garden Project. This in-jail option gives inmates the time and space to plant and tend their own organically grown food gardens at the Jail’s San Bruno complex as a healthy add-in to their rehabilitation. The program has recently been expanded under Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi, who pushed for and won a new food service contract to ensure more of this yummy nutrition ends up on the plates of inmates who have traditionally had to endure less than wholesome fare. Soon, if the program catches on, jails might have more shared garden space than San Francisco itself.
BEST CHILL TREAT
“Rich and creamy, baked with love, and served chilled for the California heat” — did Schulzies Bread Pudding sound intriguing until that “chilled” part? Open your mind, bread pudding snob: Sarah Schulz’s Venice Beach-born, super-moist dessert sensation, which added a Hayes Valley location last year, is too delicious to deny (and the shop has warm options to balance out the cold, FYI). Who needs a cupcake or a cronut when you can spoon up fresh-made flavors such as Maple Bacon Lovers (tasty with optional add-ins like whiskey sauce and chocolate chips), Blissed Out Blueberry, or Salted Caramel Charisma? Seriously — who needs to eat any other type of food, ever again?
364 Hayes, SF. (415) 565-7336, www.schulziesbreadpudding.com
BEST NORTH BEACH FRY BOMB
Oh, the end of a long night in North Beach. There you are, mercifully relieved of your singles after oh-so-lovely times watching the ladies of the Penthouse Club clack their mega-heels all up and down the two-story stripper poles. You’re satiated in the “make it rain” department … but damn, are you hungry. Enter Taqueria Zorro’s Zorro burrito, there to stuff your belly and slash “satisfied” across your chest. What’s in the Zorro, you ask? Well, all the same things you’ve come to expect from a burrito, except instead of using traditional rice and beans they stuff the burrito with French fries. This so-called “California burrito” version, supposedly hailing from San Diego in the ’80s is all the carb-filled rage these days — GQ even claimed last month that it would soon replace the ramenburger (see above) in hip factor. And yeah, you can spot it soaking through menus across the Mission. But Zorro got there first and left its greasy, irresistible mark.
308 Columbus, SF. (415) 392-1299, www.taqueriazorro.com
BEST POP SCENE
You’re welcome to play it safe tastewise in Willy Wonka-like soda paradise The Fizzary. Pop a familiar bottle of orange into the joint’s charming quick chill device, crack, and glug. But even amid that flavor’s designated shelf of sodas you’ll find intriguing variations — a bottle flown in from the Phillipines, a blood orange variation innocuously lounging, a five-gallon jug of your childhood favorite fizz to take your sugar highs to new altitudes. Venture out of the known soda universe — that seems to be what local bubble bottlers Taylor’s Tonics wanted when they opened up this quirky shop selling theirs and other carbonated treats — plus retro and hard-to-find candies — in the Mission. A quick listing of the other flavors you may encounter on the shelves and your tastebuds quiver. Chocolate, lavender, clove, bacon, spruce, amaretto, and cucumber from manufacturers the world over.
2949 Mission, SF. (877) 368-4608, www.thefizzary.com
BEST CURRY QUEUE
Light fare it is not, but are we ever glad to have come around to the gravy-like consistency and rich, complex flavors of Japanese curry. Nothing seems more homey or satisfying than when the comforting heft of a curry-laden lunch plate — chicken or pork katsu, tender cubed beef, steaming veggie, etc. versions available — is directed toward your waiting mouth, a feat made possible at the Financial District’s Muracci’s (a joint that now has a sister location in Los Altos.) Venture here for some of the best Japanese curry that we’ve found in town, served up in a small, no-frills space with less than a dozen seats. Plus: sides of pickles! Be not afraid of the line, an apt indicator of the number of J-curry fans in this town — thanks to Muracci’s efficient express plates, the queue moves fast enough to satisfy even our most ravenous lunchtime cravings.
307 Kearny, SF. (415) 773-1101, www.muraccis.com
BEST SURROUND SOUND DINING
When the sound system at your restaurant outstrips the food when it comes to rave reviews, you might have a problem. But the folks at Berkeleys’s elegant, spare, and forward-thinking Comal are confident enough in their menu to take us to the next level of sensual experience. The haute-Mexican cuisine, emphasizing deep flavors and grilled textures, speaks for itself. But the sound of the place speaks volumes. In order to better control the sonic ambiance of the place — and perhaps to diffuse the persnicketiness of SF’s most prominent food critic, whose aversion to dining room noise is legendary — Comal’s owner John Paluska installed a new, state-of-the-art Libra acoustic image system and complementary Constellation active acoustic system from Meyer Sound. Through a series of unobstrusive iPad-controlled speakers and acoustic absorption tiles, managers can control the “buzz” levels of the place, “washing” and basically “whitening” the noise as needed to quiet things down. The can even turn up the buzz around the bar — although with several flights of tequila on the menu, there’s probably enough buzz already.
2020 Shattuck, SF. (510) 926.6300, www.comalberkeley.com
BEST FREEKEH-BEET TO FREAK ABOUT
It is with good reason that Hella Vegan Eats’ doughnut burger was the runaway star of the San Francisco Street Food Festival this year. No false modesty here: the Bay Guardian had already been praising that sticky delicious beet burger for months, even giving it top billing in our “Vegan Junk Food” feature. But no matter who broke the story; the real scoop here is that special dish, lovingly crafted by couple-founders Tiffany and Sylvee Esquivel, and showing up regularly at places like Dear Mom, Timeless Coffee in Oakland, and Dolores Park through La Cocina. Dig its moist-yet-crunchy patty fashioned from freekah (an ancient cereal) and beets and plopped between two (vegan) sugar donuts, piled high with pickled veggies, and laced with a tangy secret sauce. So wrong that it’s right.
BEST NOLA WEST
Appropriately, the Chapel opened last year with a string of concerts by the Preservation Hall Jazz Band, a group named for its origin point at NOLA’s Preservation Hall jazz venue. That’s the spot Valencia Street’s new place for music worship (officially known as Preservation Hall West at the Chapel) is modeled after, and endlessly inspired by, be it in in the form of design, live music, or eats. This year, the well-crafted, multilevel, many-roomed Chapel has expanded its musical offerings, dabbling in folk, rock’n’roll, and indie bands like La Sera, Magic Trick, and Weekend, along with more traditional jazz acts, and what-the-hell randomly awesome offerings like Sparks or actor-musician John C. Reilly with Lavender Diamond. It also opened the attached Vestry Restaurant, which offers a full menu leaning more on the SF gourmet side, with items like the duck confit flatbread or seared scallops with beet risotto. During shows, patrons can peep live acts from the open upstairs balcony, from the dramatic main room down below, or perched on a bar stool in the shiny wooded lounge with closed-circuit flat screens, high-end cocktails like the Old Overholt rye-based Ward Eight, and yummy bar bites like shrimp po’ boys that subtly wink at NOLA pride.
777 Valencia, SF. (415) 551-5157, www.thechapelsf.com
BEST POW WOW PUNK CHEF
You may see Rocky Yazzie at the best live venues around town doing one of two things. Either he’s rocking coveralls and slinging authentic Native American fry bread, or banging it out with his self-described “pow wow punk” band, Sweat Lodge. Either way, you’ll be glad to have stumbled into his special Rocky bubble. A few words on his Rocky’s Fry Bread snacks, perhaps the better known of the two projects. The New Mexico native and member of the Diné tribe makes deliciously deep-fried taco-like handheld meals, stuffed with beans and fresh veggies (there are non-veg versions as well), behind his own pop-up stand. There’s something about that fry bread that just perfectly soaks up all the boozing without landing like a log in your tummy. As the friendly slinger once explained it to Scoutmob, “I love life and it shows in the food.”
www.twitter.com/RockysFrybread
BEST POT LUCK
An invention that seems perfect for the busy-yet-locavore-obsessed Bay Area (though test markets are popping up in Brooklyn, New Orleans, and LA) sustainable ready-to-eat delivery service Good Eggs seems to have it all. But for our money — and yes, it’s not exactly cheap — there is one among Eggs’ many intriguing, locally produced offerings that intrigues the most: caterer Max Pouvreau’s Petit Pot. Did you know that everything tastes better in a Weck jar? This is the height of Bay food trendiness on the go: Try jarred lamb shoulder and spring onion tagine with prunes and roasted almonds, followed by a jarred dark chocolate buttermilk cake with coffee whipped cream and cocoa nibs. All delivered to your door! Bonus: $3 deposits on your round glass meal carriers means return customers get a sweet (savory?) discount.
BEST LATE NIGHT HOT POCKETS
Spurn the crowds across the street at ever-popular Taqueria Cancun’s Bernal-side outpost. You, a seasoned Missionite, have had your fill of what one of our dear ones likes to call “the Mexican death log.” Burrito fiend you are not — which is why in your wisdom your tummy’s late night call has led you to a late-night Salvadorean restaurant, sounding thusly: “pupusa…” They’re no baby-sized gut bomb, the pupusas at El Zocalo. These traditional steaming pocket-like snacks come stuffed with cheese (of course), but also zucchini, loroco, feta even for those sick of stringy quesos. And lucky you, the family joint stays open until three in the morning, so it’s ready for whenever you graduate to the next level with San Francisco snacking.
3230 Mission, SF. (415) 282-2572
BEST WORLD SOUND BITES
Watch live flamenco and Arabian fusion music while you dance with a side of papas bravas and plantains. Take in the All-Star Latin Band on weekly Cuban and world music nights while munching Andean fresh corn tamales and yuca frita with cashew cream. Yes, North Beach’s intimate cultural center and restaurant Peña Pachamama (“on a little side street in San Francisco’s old Latin Quarter somewhere between Chinatown, Fisherman’s Wharf, and endless Italian late-night cafes”) offers up such startlingly refreshing culinary-auditory pairings, nearly every night of the week. The friendly South American restaurant and performance venue offers an exceptional range of cultural treats for your tummy and mind, and begs this simple question: why is it so damn hard to find vegan, gluten free, and/or deliciously organic cuisine at other music venues in veg-friendly San Francisco? No matter — Peña Pachamama has already delivered the goods, and they are spicy.
1630 Powell, SF. (415) 646-0018, pachamamacenter.org
BEST NEW GOLD RUSH
Friends, we have eaten gold leaf. That’s what they’re serving these days at the new digs of the most lauded restaurant in SF, Saison: a voluptuous dish of sea urchin over grilled root custard in a handmade Japanese ceramic bowl, topped with a generous skin of melted gold. (Let’s settle one question right away: no, our toilet wasn’t gilded the next morning. Nor did we use the leaf to fake a grill.) It’s part of the $248 tasting menu, $396 with insane wine pairing, at this two-star Michelin hotspot. Don’t worry, there’s a bar menu featuring reserve caviar dolloped over corn pudding and grilled Australian black truffle stew, both at $88, cough. Look, we have to hand it to renegade chef Joshua Skenes and sommelier and co-owner Mark Bright — if you ever can/want to shell out $400 for a meal (ours was a press comp), this is the absolutely perfect one. Fourteen courses of the best the world has to offer, served in jaw-dropping ways. Yet it was the metaphorical combination of the dish mentioned above — gold smothering an urchin — that rang particularly true of this moment in San Francisco history. The delicious, flashy rush. And then what lies beneath it, left behind.
178 Townsend, SF. (415) 828-7990, www.saisonsf.com
Best of the Bay 2013 Readers Poll: Food and Drink
BEST OF THE BAY 2013: READERS POLL
Food and Drink
BEST OVERALL RESTAURANT
NOPA
560 Divisadero, SF
BEST NEW RESTAURANT
COQUETA
The Embarcadero
Pier 5, SF
BEST BUDGET RESTAURANT
TU LAN
8 6th St, SF
BEST SPLURGE RESTAURANT
GARY DANKO
800 N Point, SF
BEST LATE NIGHT RESTAURANT
GRUBSTAKE
1525 Pine, SF
BEST ROMANTIC RESTAURANT
FOREIGN CINEMA
2534 Mission, SF
BEST FOOD/DRINK FESTIVAL (TIE)
EAT REAL
SF STREET FOOD
BEST FOOD CART
THE CHAIRMAN TRUCK
BEST FARMERS MARKET
FERRY PLAZA
1 Ferry Bldg, SF
BEST PIZZA
LITTLE STAR
Multiple locations
BEST SANDWICHES
IKE’S PLACE
Multiple locations
BEST BURRITOS
TAQUERIA CANCUN
2288 Mission; 3211 Mission St; 1003 Market St, SF
BEST SMALL PLATES
CHA CHA CHA
Multiple locations
BEST BURGER AND FRIES
SUPER DUPER
Multiple locations
BEST BARBECUE
MEMPHIS MINNIE’S
576 Haight, SF
BEST SUSHI
ICHI SUSHI
3369 Mission, SF
BEST BOWL OF NOODLES
KATANA-YA
430 Geary, SF
BEST SALADS
BLUE BARN
Multiple locations
BEST SEAFOOD
BAR CRUDO
655 Divisadero, SF
BEST SOUL FOOD
BRENDA’S
652 Polk, SF
BEST ITALIAN
PALIO D’ASTI
640 Sacramento, SF
BEST MIDDLE EASTERN
LA MEDITERRANEE
Multiple locations
BEST INDIAN
DOSA
Multiple locations
BEST MEXICAN (TIE)
PUERTO ALEGRE
546 Valencia, SF
NOPALITO
BEST CHINESE
MISSION CHINESE
2234 Mission, SF
BEST THAI
LERS ROS
Multiple locations
BEST VEGETARIAN
GREENS
Fort Mason, Bldg A, SF
BEST VEGAN
MILLENNIUM
580 Geary, SF
BEST BREAKFAST
DOTTIE’S TRUE BLUE CAFÉ
28 6th St, SF
BEST BRUNCH
MISSION BEACH CAFÉ
198 Guerrero, SF
BEST LUNCH
MARKET & RYE
Multiple locations
BEST APPETIZERS
SAUCE
Multiple locations
BEST DESSERT
HEY, COOKIE!
BEST SERVICE
GARY DANKO
800 N Point St, SF
BEST FOOD/DRINKS WEBSITE
TABLEHOPPER
BEST CAFÉ
ATLAS CAFÉ
3049 20th St, SF
BEST CUP OF COFFEE
SIGHTGLASS
270 7th St, SF
BEST CUP OF TEA
SAMOVAR
Multiple locations
BEST OVERALL BAR
MONARCH
101 6th St, SF
BEST NEW BAR
VIRGILS SEA ROOM
3152 Mission, SF
BEST DIVE BAR
EL RIO
3158 Mission, SF
BEST SWANKY BAR
REDWOOD ROOM
495 Geary Street, SF
BEST SINGLES BAR
MADRONE ART BAR
500 Divisadero, SF
BEST SPORTS BAR
HI-TOPS
2247 Market, SF
BEST HAPPY HOUR
GREEN’S SPORTS BAR
2239 Polk, SF
BEST WINERY (TIE)
V. SATTUI WINERY
1111 White Lane, St. Helena
BLUXOME STREET WINERY
53 Bluxome St, SF
BEST WINE BAR
NOETECA
1551 Dolores, SF
BEST BREWERY
ANCHOR BREWING
1705 Mariposa, SF
BEST SELECTION OF BEERS
TORONADO
547 Haight, SF
BEST CREATIVE COCKTAILS
TRICK DOG
3010 20th St, SF
BEST BLOODY MARY
ZEITGEIST
199 Valencia St, SF
BEST BAR STAFF
DNA LOUNGE
375 11th St, SF
BEST CANNABIS EDIBLES
THE GREEN CROSS
4218 Mission St, SF
BEST BAKERY
ARIZMENDI
Multiple locations
BEST BUTCHER SHOP
AVEDANO’S
235 Cortland, SF
BEST CHEESE SHOP
COW GIRL CREAMERY
1 Ferry Bldg, SF
BEST CHOCOLATIER
FOG CITY NEWS
455 Market St, SF
Alerts: September 25 – October 2, 2013
WEDNESDAY 25
Radical archiving and cataloging as social history 518 Valencia, SF. 518valencia.org. The Shaping San Francisco public talks series continues with a discussion defining a “radical archive,” exploring the role that nontraditional archives play in the interpretation and preservation of peoples’ history, the role of ordinary people in the preservation of these archives and more. Joining the discussion will be Lincoln Cushing of Docs Populi, as well as Claude Marks and Nathaniel Moore, both of the Freedom Archives.
Solar Energy Panel Discussion David Brower Center, 2150 Allston, Berk. https://solarenlightenment.eventbrite.com. 6-9pm, free. Andreas Karelas, the Executive Director of Revolv, and Jackson Koeppel of Soulardarity will lead a panel discussion on the use of solar energy and how it works. They will also attempt to clear up a few common misconceptions about solar power. Doors open at 5:30pm. Those who can’t attend can tune in on Ustream.
THURSDAY 26
Press up! El Rio, 3158 Mission, SF. 6pm, donations $25 and up. tinyurl.com/sfpmccontribute. An independent press is crucial. Join Tim Redmond, former editor-publisher of the Bay Guardian, as he launches the nonprofit San Francisco Progressive Media Center, dedicated to publishing a new online news source and keeping local journalism alive and independent of corporate, non-local interests. Co-hosts include Tom Ammiano, David Campos, Alicia Garza, Giuliana Milanese and Gabriel Haaland.
Syria: Secrets and lies Unitarian Universalist Center, 1187 Franklin, SF. sanfranpda@aol.com. 7-9pm, free. Dr. Steven Zunes, a professor of politics and international studies at the University of San Francisco and Middle Eastern studies program chair, will examine whether the US is about to go to war again on unverifiable or perhaps false pretexts; why the Administration is so committed to this conflict, and how can we understand the actual facts behind the recently documented atrocities in Syria. Sponsored by the Progressive Democrats of American and Unitarian Universalists for Peace, SF.
SATURDAY 28 14th Annual World Veg Festival San Francisco County Fair Building, Lincoln & Ninth, Golden Gate Park, SF. http://worldvegfestival.com. 10am-6:30pm, $10 suggested donation. This festival will feature cooking demonstrations, speakers and live entertainment, including an eco-fashion show. Visitors will have the opportunity to sample and purchase vegetarian cuisine. The event is presented by the SF Vegetarian Society and sponsored by Varnashram, In Defense of Animals and Friends of Animals. An organic vegan dinner will be available each night for $26; sign up online.
SATURDAY 29 Grito De Lares Celebration Mission Cultural Center for Latino Arts, 2868 Mission, SF. tinyurl.com/larescelebration. 4:30-7 p.m., free. Celebrate Grito De Lares, a holiday commemorating the birth of Puerto Rico as a nation, at the MCCLA on Sunday. 145 years ago this past Sept. 23, Puerto Rican revolutionaries entered the town of Lares to proclaim the birth of the Puerto Rican nation. At the bilingual event there will be a commemoration of the revolution, a discussion panel and a poetry reading in addition to Puerto Rican food and music.
Dangling a carrot
culture@sfbg.com
CHOW NOW
Like a cockroach emerging from the apocalypse… Wait, that isn’t right. Like a chicken rising from the cigarette ashes…oh, nevermind. Anyway, legendarily grungy Sixth Street stalwart Tu Lan (8 6th St., SF.) has reopened after being closed for more than a year by the health department for numerous violations. (Yes, grody ones). You’ll hardly recognize the joint: It has a shiny new kitchen — and a whole new look, too, both inside and out. Most important: the staff has been trained in proper food handling procedures, how novel. The imperial rolls, however, hopefully remain unchanged and tasty as ever. But they’re 25 cents more, like everything else on the menu—they had to pay for all that new stainless steel somehow.
Pierogi are definitely something in short supply in our fair city. Well, until now, because Stuffed (2788 Mission, SF.) has opened in the Mission, and it’s offering both traditional Midwestern pierogi, sporting a potato filling of farmer cheese and cheddar, and new-school styles including smoked salmon, mushroom with spinach dough, blue and jack cheese tossed in Buffalo sauce. And then there’s the bacon-cheddar number, which sounds like your dream baked potato: bacon and mashed potato filling with cheddar cheese, served with sour cream, sautéed onions, and your choice of coleslaw or sauerkraut. Pair ’em with some Midwestern beers — there are some local brews too — and you’re set. Unless you forgot to bring cash. Don’t do that. (Closed Mondays.)
Just in case you were planning to head to Canteen (817 Sutter, SF.) for its Parker House rolls, or Luella (1896 Hyde, SF.) for the Coca-Cola braised pork shoulder, or Cedar Hill (3242 Scott, SF.) for barbecue, consider this your public service announcement that all three joints are now closed. But there’s good news. The folks behind the Fillmore’s Fat Angel (partnering with some cats from Michael Mina) are opening a new place called Stones Throw in Luella’s space later this year. Meanwhile, chef Dennis Leary of Canteen is busy working on his two new projects (Caffe Terminus at 10 California and the Trocadero Club in the former RJ’s on Geary). And the Cedar Hill owners are still running their two Rib Whip trucks, so you can still get your hands dirty with their Midwest barbecue.
BALLIN’ ON A BUDGET
Want to get up close and personal with one of the most respected authorities on Italian cooking? Come to Omnivore Books (3885 Cesar Chavez, SF. www.omnivorebooks.com) on Monday, Sept. 16th (from 6:30pm–7:30pm) for a free talk with Giuliano Bugialli as he discusses his book, Maremma: The Wild West of Tuscany. You’ll learn about the food of this region from one of the world’s leading authorities on Italian cooking. He’s taught thousands of students about authentic Italian ingredients, techniques, and methods since 1973 — so yeah, he knows his stuff. You can return the next evening, Tuesday, Sept. 17th, 6:30pm–7:30pm, to listen to Joe Yonan talk about his book, Eat Your Vegetables: Bold Recipes for the Single Cook. His book is full of vegetarian and vegan recipes for singles, or for lone vegetarians in meat-eating households (nope, that doesn’t sound easy).
YOU GOTTA EAT THIS
Mmmm, carrot cake. It’s definitely one way to eat your vegetables. Out in the Dogpatch is Michael and Jacky Recchiuti’s Chocolate Lab (801 22nd St., SF. www.chocolatelabsf.com), a stylish little café that is well-suited for lunch, or brunch, or an afternoon snack, or dinner for that matter. Yeah, it just works. And while Recchiuti is known for his local chocolate empire, the carrot cake is definitely worth checking out. It’s not too sweet or dense, and for a twist, he adds a layer of milk chocolate mousse made with crème fraîche for a little tangy touch, plus there’s a white chocolate frosting. Carrot cake for chocolate lovers!
Marcia Gagliardi is the founder of the weekly tablehopper e-column; subscribe for more at tablehopper.com. Get her app: Tablehopper’s Top Late-Night Eats. On Twitter: @tablehopper.
Product placement
SUPER EGO Anyone who’s gone to grab my ass and resurfaced 20 minutes later with a handful of vintage Safeway plastic bags and several torn free condom wrappers holding pre-chewed wads of Gonzo Grape Bubblicious knows I’m not really into “bling,” as the kids these days say in 1997. Who needs $525 Alejandro Ingelmo gold-trimmed “Tron” sneakers when you can just wear discarded DSW boxes! Cheap and proud lady right here.
Yet when it comes to music, I’ll skip that second vegan cheeseburger and lay my pocket money down for great sound. A few years ago, a $99 pair of Bose IE2 Audio earbuds changed my life. “Oh,” I recall exclaiming aloud. “This is that ‘bass’ that people keep talking about.” And my vinyl addiction has reached Lohan-ic heights of insanity, minus all that fake tan and meh.
Thus the jaw basically dropped when I stepped into the new Dijital Fix store in the Mission (820 Valencia, SF. www.dijitalfix.com), which specializes in terribly hip and yummy stereo equipment. Gorgeous transparent speakers by People People, retro-orange Crosley portable USB turntables, hypersleek AIAIAI Tracks headphones … big, big puddle of electronic drool.
Dijital Fix is a Brooklyn transplant, and we already have a couple of great homegrown, high-end audio product stores with Audiovision (1603 Pine, SF. www.audiovisionsf.com) and House of Music (410 Harriet, SF. www.houseofmusicsf.com). The Fix, however, may be more approachable than those excellent specialty spots, especially to the uninitiated looking for a candy-colored stereo starter kit with Space Age Bachelor Pad sex appeal. I’ll take three of everything to go.
SOUL CLAP
Ah, Burning Man — it brings all the DJs to the yard. On their way to Black Rock City: Boston’s finest, Soul Clap, and their bros in excellent recombinant ’90s tunes Wolf + Lamb (see below). Clappers Elyte and Cnyce once helped redefine the history of dance music by daring to play the rarest slow jams and New Jack Swing — “Yes We Still Play Vinyl” is the name of this appearance — perfectly contextualized into acid house and Boyz II Men grooves. They got sidetracked by trying to become pop stars themselves, but they’re still sexy and fun on the decks.
Wed/21, 9pm, $10-20. Monarch, 101 Sixth St., SF. www.monarchsf.com
120 MINUTES THREE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY
The goth-rap, crunk-funk, witch-dizzle monthly celebrates a triple, with host Marco de la Vega’s inimitable mind-altering aplomb. Local face-melting bass hero Salva headlines, while resident DJs Santa Muerte and Chauncey CC drag out everything from Wocka to Skinny Puppy. Congrats.
Fri/23, 10pm, $15. Elbo Room, 647 Valencia, SF. www.facebook.com/120minutes
STEAM
Who doesn’t want to spend Friday night surrounded by men in wet towels? Frisky promoter Walter Gomez’s packed monthly, charitable, steam-themed party with special guest DJ Rolo is the terrycloth ticket. Yes, it’s gay and half-naked, but it’s also not happening on the Internet, so it feels subversive. Plus: good dancing, and it benefits the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
Fri/23, 10pm, $5. Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom, SF. www.tinyurl.com/steam0813
WOLF + LAMB
The high-end hotel parties and breathless press (guilty!) were always a little suspect, but the music Gadi and Zev were putting out at the end of the ’00s counterbalanced the dominant astringency of minimal techno with a juicy eroticism rooted in nostalgia. They’ve still got it. With DJ Tennis and Adnan Sharif at the awesome Forward party, returning to SF after many moons.
Fri/23, 9pm-4am, $15. Mighty, 119 Utah, SF. www.forwardsf.com
BEATBAAAHS
There’s going to be a giant gay sheep with laser eyes and a slide shooting out of its behind on the playa this year. BAAAHS (“big-ass amazingly awesome homosexual sheep”) is the first official queer Burning Man art car, with a booming system to match its woolly balls. And yes, here’s yet another BM fundraiser, this one featuring some great local and “other” queer techno talent taking over Beatbox: Stereogamous, TATU V, Doc Sleep, Jason Kendig, Mark Louque, and more, hosted by SF’s queer burneratti. Putting a queerer stamp on the rapidly gender-normalizing playa seems like a good CAAAHS.
Fri/23, 10pm-4am, $10. Beatbox, 314 11th St, SF. www.baaahs.org
“CRASH AN INDIAN WEDDING RECEPTION”
One of the glorious monthly Non Stop Bhangra party’s grand-slam theme nights: start with a bhangra flash mob in the Mission then proceed down to Public Works, where singer and dhol drum master Ustad Lal Singh Bhatti of Black Mahal whips the simulated “wedding reception” crowd into a frenzy. (Indian weddings are insane.) Dance lessons, DJs, and the Curry Up Now truck round out a unique night of cultural fun.
Sat/24, 9pm-3am, $15. Public Works, 161 Erie, SF. www.nonstopbhangra.com
MAURICE FULTON
The Baltimore-via-Sheffield production wiz has a magic touch when it comes to arty-funky disco vibes in a contemporary/wiggy context. (Or hey, sometimes he just drops brilliantly freaky slices like Mim Suleiman’s rapturous Nyuli album on us, for kicks.) At Honey Soundsystem.
Sun/25, 10pm, $10. Holy Cow, 1535 Folsom, SF. www.honeysoundsytem.com
Can’t-miss treats at the upcoming SF Street Food Fest
The smells of deliciousness were overwhelming. Where do we start?!
As Sam Love and I wandered around the La Cocina media preview for August 17’s San Francisco Street Food Festival, everywhere we looked there were delightful taste treats, colorful, fresh and also deep fried. I’ll take four of each, thank you.
We made the rounds, chatting with fantastic chefs who are living their dreams, whipping up flavors from around the world. We tried everything and, while we enjoyed it all, becoming clean plate champions many times over, there were three highlights that made our short list. If you don’t have the stomach to make it to all the vendors at the Street Food Festival, we’d recommend trying these first:
Chiefo’s Kitchen
Chiefo served plantain and chocolate bread pudding that was soft and heavenly, but also punched back with a sinful slap of rum. Chiefo’s Kitchen West African flavors are not to miss. Check her out at the Night Market!
Azalina’s Malaysian
I live for Azalina’s smile. She could hand me a slice of cold leftover pizza, and with that smile, it would taste like the most exquisite dish. The fact is, Azalina cooks with tremendous love and care, and eating her food is therapy for the soul. She is an amazing chef, from a long family line of street vendors from Penang, and her food explodes with the island’s spices, but also takes advantage of our freshest local California produce. She prepared sweet potato dumplings, decorated with colorful fruit and veggie bonnets. So yum!
Hella Vegan Eats
Two words: doughnut burger. Wait — it’s not what you’re thinking! It’s a doughnut sandwich stuffed with a beet and kamut patty, topped with kale, pickled red onions and dill weed, and squirted with secret sauce. It’s pretty much the cutest thing ever, perfectly balancing the most unhealthy and healthy food items in a few giant bites, and worth unhinging your jaw for. Vegan can definitely be bad-ass.
Salty and sweet
emilysavage@sfbg.com
VEGAN DISH Sure, vegan junk food has been visited in the past, but restaurants and changing menus come and go in this town. New fake meats, cheap sweets, and truffle-drenched treats are beefing up our veg options all the time.
And remarkably, there are still some casual diners out there unaware of the veg takeover — or at least, uninformed of the fact that you can find great tastes and high junk food art without dairy or meat:
BENDER’S: SATAN’S PHILLY CHEESE-FAKE WITH A SIDE OF FRIED PICKLES
This is a decadent dish — shouldn’t all Satanic sandwiches be of that flavor? Bender’s version ($9) is piled with house-made grilled seitan, onions, and peppers on sliced sourdough. Make sure to order it vegan by doing away with the cheese and adding the creamy “godless” dressing. Then add a side of barfly-favorites like the veganized fried pickles, or you could just lean into the stoney pub food goodness of it all and get the damn fried tots.
806 S. Van Ness, SF. (415) 824-1800. www.bendersbar.com.
GRACIAS MADRE: GORDITAS WITH CASHEW CREAM
I’m going to be real honest here and admit that my first tastes of gorditas were modified from the suburban teen angst of a Taco Bell drive-through. This is not a Taco Bell gordita. The Gracias Madre version ($8) is an elegant, vegan stack of grilled potato-masa cakes topped with salsa verde, avocado, and the sauce de résistance, the delicious cashew cream. It’s not even that bad for you — that’s how good vegan junk food is. Especially compared to the far greasier alternatives.
2211 Mission, SF. (415) 683-1346. www.gracias-madre.com.
HELLA VEGAN EATS: DOUGHNUT BURGER
The adorable couple behind Hella Vegan Eats — Tiffany and Sylvee Esquivel — crisscrosses the Bay weekly to offer up inspired vegan takes on classic American and Mexican dishes. But here’s the tricky part: They’ve yet to open a brick and mortar location. So you can find tastebud-seducing treats like the Hella Vegan Doughnut Burger ($10) created out of a succulent beet burger (which is then plopped between two moist and sugary vegan doughnuts) at their many pop-ups. They regularly show up at Dear Mom in the Mission and Timeless Coffee in Oakland, and soon will be in Dolores Park on a more regular schedule of weekday lunches and weekend brunches, Thu.-Sun. The Hella Vegan ladies also whip up ingenious items like the seitan Autobanh Mi and Lusty Lovers Tacos (that would be mac-n-“cheeze” and barbecue “chicken” tacos), but that beet-doughnut burger — usually topped with a tangy secret sauce, greens, and pickled onions — seems to be the most consistent offering. The Doughnut Burger even looks cute, often topped with one of those colorful cocktail umbrellas.
Follow their Facebook page (Facebook: Hella Vegan Eats) and Twitter (@HellaVeganEats) for updates.
Various locations, SF and Oakl. www.hellaveganeats.com.
LOVING HUT: CRISPY TENDERS AND SWEET POTATO FRIES
I’ve always been jealous of fish and chips offerings at pubs. There’s something so self-indulgent, so existential about ordering a meal made up of two equally fried parts. Those who sit idly by while others dig in often feel compelled to silently judge, perhaps out of pure jealousy. And the aroma is usually enough to get me salivating. Loving Hut’s Crispy Tenders and Sweet Potato Fries appetizer ($6.45) is likely the least healthy item on the menu there, hence why I love it. The dish, while billed as an app, is absolutely enough to fill you up. It’s made up of equal parts salty and sweet (thanks to the switcheroo with sweet potato) and it comes with crunchy-crispy fried soy protein nuggets, fries, and a tart barbecue dipping sauce, as all good meals should.
Loving Hut Westfield, 845 Market, SF. www.lovinghut.us.
PEPPLES DONUTS: SALTED CARAMEL
With flavors like Matcha Green Tea, Philz Coffee, and Chili Mango, along with the standard old fashioned and chocolate sprinkled, it’s hard to turn down any donut Pepples has to offer — the likes of which can be found at its Donut Farm storefront in Oakland, a stand in the Ferry Building, and coffee shops and specialty stores throughout the Bay. The vegan, organic donuts are all delicious and moist, almost more cake-like than a traditional donut, and just the right size to avoid overdoing it. Plus, they look really cute, like cartoonish version of the standard, in perfect little round treats with candy-colored coating. The standout among these has to be the salted caramel ($3), so decadent, so sugary and salty. The purplish blueberry option is extra tasty as well, but there’s something exceptional about that rarefied salted caramel — it even impressed hard-won non-veg Guardian staffers.
Various locations in SF and Oakl.. Pepples Donut Farm, 6037 San Pablo, Oakl. www.pepplesdonuts.com.
SATURN CAFÉ: DIABLO BURGER
Saturn has long been a staple of late-night college grubbing in Santa Cruz, so when it opened up in Berkeley a few years back, veggie and vegan stoners came crawling out of the woodwork. The menu offers everything from taquitos to milkshakes (all of which can be made vegan), but your best bet is the Diablo Burger ($10.50). It’s the spicy housemade Saturn veggie burger topped with fresh jalapenos, spicy chipotle, grilled onions, and traditional accoutrements — remember to ask for it sans cheese. You won’t miss it, since the insanely spicy kick from those other ingredients is cooled with fresh lettuce and tomato. Plus, it comes with Saturn’s tasty, “award-winning” fries, thin cut or thick steak style.
2175 Allston, Berk. (510) 845-8505.saturncafe.com/berkeley.
SOULEY VEGAN: SOUTHERN FRIED SMOTHERED TOFU
Imagine two sizable hunks of crispy Southern-fried tofu nearly engulfing the (indoor) plate or (outdoor) basket they’re placed in ($10). Now picture those deep-fried tofu pieces smothered in savory vegan gravy and onions. Visualize yourself sitting outside across the way on the sunny deck at Beer Revolution, pounding local lagers and biting into the succulent crusted tofu coated in sauce. It’s a rather pretty picture for a summer afternoon, isn’t it?
301 Broadway, Oakl.. (510) 922-1615. www.souleyvegan.com.
SOURCE: BAKED VEGAN SPINACH ARTICHOKE FONDUE
Source is all about feelings, and vibes, colors, sounds, and a “multi-dimsensional dining experience.” But for me, Source means roasted peppers and spinach in a warm, gooey cashew cream with truffle oil and toasted pita bread to dip ($8.95). The Baked Vegan Spinach Artichoke Fondue is a snacktacular dish that serves as both yummy appetizer and dessert, so much that you’ll likely pass on the actual Source dessert options like the vegan chipwich or “Twinkees.”
11 Division, SF. (415) 864-9000. www.source-sf.com.
ST. FRANCIS FOUNTAIN: DEVIL BURGER
The seitan name really does lend itself to devilish dishes, doesn’t it? It’s a great hook, not that one is necessary for this burger, which was added to the menu along with some other vegan items back in 2010. The St. Francis Devil Burger ($8.25) is a rather sloppy (and delectable) pile of marinated and grilled seitan and melted vegan cheese, doused with veganaise, and teetering on a regular-sized bun. Many napkins will be needed, but you won’t regret it for a moment. At the time of its appearance on the St. Francis menu, blogger Vegansaurus noted that the burger was “exactly the kind of greasy vegan diner food San Francisco has been missing.”
2801 24th St., SF. (415) 826-4210. www.stfrancisfountainsf.com.
VEGAN MACARONI AND CHEESE, MADE BY SAVVY SAVORIES
This is my version of the “sad desk salad,” in that I eat it during work hours while perusing gossip columns. Yet, it’s not a bummer at all: it’s warm pasta shells coated in delicious vegan cheese and crumbly breading. The dish ($6.99), made by Berkeley natural food company Savvy Savories, is always available in the chilled meals section of Falletti Foods. Warmed up (best in a conventional oven, but microwave works too), this version of the classic staple is creamy and filling, like any good comfort-food should be. It blows the Amy’s Kitchen Dairy Free Rice Macaroni and Cheeze option out of the competition — wait, is there a vegan mac and cheese contest? If so, I’m available for judging.
Falletti Foods, 308 Broderick, SF. (415) 626-4400. www.fallettifoods.com. www.savvysavories.com.
For further reading on making your own vegan junk food, consult the cookbook Vegan Junk Food: 225 Sinful Snacks that are Good for the Soul (Adams Media, 240 pps.,$16.95).
The dish on knish
culture@sfbg.com
CHOW NOW
This is definitely the year of beer in the Bay Area, and the latest addition to the suds scene is Mikkeller Bar (34 Mason, SF. www.mikkellerbar.com). Who would have thought the famous Copenhagen beer bar would open a location deep in the Tenderloin? It’s a partnership between Mikkel Borg Bjergsø of Mikkeller and Chuck Stilphen of The Trappist and Trappist Provisions, and there’s even a hoppy Mikkeller Tenderloin Pilsner on the extensive list, plus three other special Tenderloin-inspired brews. Not to mention 40 taps of rare, international, delicious beers in all — plus two cask handles — and a staff of certified cicerones to school you on the suds. You can also tuck into a variety of dishes, from soft pretzel rolls and pastrami sandwiches to a smoked “char siu” tofu bahn mi and housemade sausage platters. Pull up to one of the 30 seats at the horseshoe bar, or take over one of the blond wood tables with your brew crew.
Our local coffee scene continues to find plenty of ways to keep us perky (ditto this chilly weather and most SF ladies’ tatas right now, but that’s another story): now open in Bernal is Cafe St. Jorge (3438 Mission, SF. www.cafesanjorge.com), a Portuguese-inspired café from Andrea de Francisco. She’s paying homage to her Portuguese roots with housemade treats like bolo de arroz, especie cookies, and pasteis de nata, plus keepin’ it very Ess Eff with some vegan baked goods, sandwiches, and more. Say bom dia with Stumptown Coffee, along with fresh-pressed juices and housemade almond milk.
Strawberries and whipped cream: a winning combo. Ditto cannabis butter and brownies. Along similar lines, coffee and bikes always make for a symbiotic pairing. Which is why it makes absolutely perfect sense that the Public Bikes store (123 South Park, SF.) in South Park has installed a coffee stand on its front porch. Service is provided from Saint Frank Coffee. And to inspire you to pedal (or walk) over, Public is offering all customers a free coffee drink through July 20th. Just mention “Honduras” — no, not Panama, or Colombia, just Honduras.
BALLIN’ ON A BUDGET
It can be expensive to learn about wine, but not at St. Vincent (1270 Valencia, SF. www.stvincentsf.com) on Saturdays. This Mission restaurant hosts “shop hours” when you can swing by from 12pm–3pm for curated tastings. On Saturday July 20, taste “five aged wines you can afford” for $25, like a Livon Collio merlot “Tiaremate” from 1999 — and in case you love it, it’s $30 for the bottle. And Saturday July 27 is Summer Sour Saturday, with a tasting of four wheat beers for $12, including the Sumac Summer Ale, a collaboration with Craftsman Brewing Company.
YOU GOTTA EAT THIS
You may think you know what a good knish is, but just to be sure, you really need to come by Michelle Polzine’s brand-new-yet-caught-in-a-time-warp café in Hayes Valley, 20th Century Cafe (198 Gough, SF. www.20thcenturycafe.com). These are no starchy, sticky gut bombs packed with lumpy potato. Oh hell no. These elegant little beauties come with a crackling, flaky exterior that’s almost phyllo-like, and within, a smooth and savory potato-and-onion filling, spiked with caraway, coriander, and a little zhoosh of vermouth. If you manage to nab one hot out of oven, you may cry. Sooth yourself further (or perhaps cry more) over her other treats, like raspberry plum coffee cake, and peach leaf ice cream. Open 10am–6pm daily, closed Mondays.
Marcia Gagliardi is the founder of the weekly tablehopper e-column; subscribe for more attablehopper.com. Get her app: Tablehopper’s Top Late-Night Eats. On Twitter: @tablehopper.
Rise and snack
emilysavage@sfbg.com
TOFU AND WHISKEY Listening to infectious Terry Malts track “I Do” on a blissed-out drive across the bridge to Oakland last weekend, I was struck by how the song has grown so ingrained in my psyche.
With its driving hook and repetitive “I do/I do/I do/oh-oh” chorus about young punks in love, it’s like an underground college radio hit earworm, or the song you methodically skip to with a carful of friends on a sweaty sojourn to the beach, triumphantly pushing play on the old tape deck. It has that timeless, enduring quality. It feels like its always been in my collection.
And yet, the upbeat punk song is less than two years old, created by the San Francisco trio for its debut 2012 LP Killing Time (Slumberland). It’s got this nostalgic pull inherent in the band, and might be the best example of such among its back catalog. Returning to Killing Time left me wondering what was next for the group. Lo and behold, Terry Malts just announced the sophomore follow-up: Nobody Realizes This Is Nowhere, which will be released Sept. 10 also via Slumberland Records. The announcement came with a first single, driving, noisier, “I Was Not There.” Sensing a theme here?
Terry Malts were featured in my inaugural “On the Rise” cover story, in 2012 (it’s now a yearly tradition in the first couple months of the year), and it made me wonder how the others were doing.
As luck would have it, there was also news last week that chilly synch duo Silver Swans (Jonathan Waters and Ann Yu) returned with new track “Sea of Love,” off upcoming album Touch.
Likely the group I’ve most followed since the story, rockers Dirty Ghosts have grown tighter and louder in the past year or so, and have played both the Treasure Island Music Festival and a raucous, shred-worthy Noise Pop slot opening for the Thermals.
And then there’s multi-instrumentalist Jhameel, who has since moved to LA, but has kept up with a steady stream of beat-friendly R&B and pop releases, music vids, and drunk YouTube clips for fans, most recently collaborating with Giraffage and DWNTWN on the track “Move Me,” which showed up on the Kitsuné America 2 compilation.
DEEP SEA NIGHTLIFE
For those who’ve yet to experience “symphonic ambisonic soundscapes” deep down in the coral reefs: Soundwave SonicLAB, MEDIATE, and the Bold Italic present this sound-heavy Cal Academy Nightlife event with electronic composer-musician Christopher Willits (owner of experimental label Overlap.org) on the soundscapes, and local garage pop act the Mantles playing live among the fishies. And for the more scientific angle, there’ll be a talk by oceanographer and National Geographic Explorer-in-Residence (best title ever) Dr. Sylvia A. Earle.
Thu/18, 6-10pm, $12. California Academy of Sciences, 55 Music Concourse Drive, Golden Gate Park, SF. calacademy.org/events.
MIWA GEMINI
Vintage children’s tales always seem to take on a slightly creepy quality, and the same can be said for experimental folk songstress, Miwa Gemini. The Brooklyn singer-songwriter makes moody narrative lullabies that sound like campfire tales, told in a crisp singsongy voice over pah-pum drums and guitar lines that bend from Western twang to plucky surf. With Zoe Muth, Margaret Glasby.
Thu/18, 9pm, $10. Amnesia, 853 Valencia, SF. www.amnesiathebar.com.
BURGER SPREAD
That blissful drive last weekend? It was the route to Burger Boogaloo, the punk rock summer camp in Oakland’s Mosswood Park. Put together by Burger Records and Total Trash Booking, the fest boasted noisy punks, retro-inspired doo-wop groups, and sloppy surf-rock bands mostly from the Bay Area, LA, and Portland, Ore.,plus Jonathan Richman. There was great warm weather, a fenced off beer plot, vintage clothes and records for sale, and the sugary vegan donut burger made by Hella Vegan Eats.
On the Cheap listings
Listings compiled by Cortney Clift. For additional information on submitting events, see our Selector calendar section.
WEDNESDAY 22
Harvey Milk Day GLBT History Museum, 4127 18th St., SF. www.glbthistory.org. Celebrate the birthday of San Francisco hero Harvey Milk with free admission and special Milk-related displays and tours at the GLBT History Museum. Brief docent tours of the museum highlighting the would-be airport namesake will be offered hourly. There will also be rare video clips screened in the main gallery and exhibit featuring Milk’s personal belongings in the front gallery.
THURSDAY 23
"Demystifying Dementia" AlmaVia, 1 Thomas More, SF. www.corecubed.com. 6-7:30pm, free. Dealing with a parent with dementia can leave you with an endless array of questions. Elizabeth A. Landsverk M.D. is here to help. Dr. Landsverk will shed light on common concerns this evening such as: how to prevent dementia, symptoms to look for, how it is diagnosed, common medications, and useful resources to turn for help.
Yerba Buena Gardens free concert Annie Alley, New Montgomery and Mission, SF. www.artsanddialogue.org. 6-7pm, free. RSVP at info@ybcbd.org. As part of the Yerba Buena Gardens’ "Art and Dialogue" series, acoustic rock and funk artist Curt Yagi and the People Standing Behind Me will be performing. The evening’s free concert is part of a weeklong celebration of events and beautification project sponsored by San Francisco Planning and Urban Research Association (SPUR) and Yerba Buena Community Benefit District.
FRIDAY 24
Bites Off Broadway 45th St. and Lawton, Oakl. facebook.com/bitesoff. 5:30-8:30pm, free. Grab a blanket and some friends and sample bites from over 15 food trucks including local favorites like Tina Tamale, Fist of Flour, and Two Mama’s Vegan Kitchen. While you satisfy your taste buds, amuse your eyes with entertainment that changes weekly. Past events have consisted of live music, lawn games, and movies.
SATURDAY 25
"Successful Interviewing" 100 Larkin, SF. www.sfpl.org. 10am-noon, free. Oh the stress of the job interview: What to wear? What to say? Mangala Meridian, an adult education instructor of vocational and job search skills will be at the Main Library today to help you land that job you’re after. Meridian will speak on how to boost pre-interview self-esteem, tell you what employers are looking for, and even provide you with practice questions.
Zombie Prom Elbo Room, 657 Valencia, SF. www.sfzombiebar.com. 9pm-2am, $10. So your high school prom experience wasn’t great? Give it a second go — as a zombie. Back for its second year, this Zombie Prom benefiting the AIDS Life Cycle has all the fixings of a traditional prom: prom photos and a king and queen crowning. Except you know… you’ll look pretty deathly. Also at the Elbo Room tonight will be a silent auction featuring local businesses, a zombie drag show, and zombie burlesque.
SUNDAY 26
Forbidden Island luau Forbidden Island Tiki Lounge, 1304 Lincoln, Alameda. www.forbiddenislandalameda.com. 2-10pm, $5. No need to book a flight to Hawaii when you can have a tropical vacation right here in the Bay Area. Forbidden Island Tiki Lounge is hosting its annual luau today that’s almost as authentic as anything you’ll find west of California. Scarf down on a pig roast, shake your hula hips at dance lessons led by Aloha Polynesia, and sip on rum cocktails.
K-12 Grand Slam Poetry Reading SF Public Library, 100 Larkin, SF. www.sfpl.org. 1-4pm, free. As part of a yearlong project, students from classrooms, juvenile halls, and hospital programs have written poems about baseball history, the SF Giants, their own lives, and their aspirations for the future. This afternoon will include a reading by the students, a musical performance by hip-hop-rock group the Boondock Squad, and a reception.
San Ramon Art & Wind Festival San Ramon Central Park, 12501 Alcosta, San Ramon. www.artandwind.com. Also Mon/27. 10am-5pm, free. If you’re a Bay Area resident, chances are you have dealt with your fair share of windy days. Make the most of this sometimes-annoying element today at an art fair that fully embraces the breeze. Kites are the main attraction this afternoon — join a demonstration or make your own for free. Come back Monday to watch a hot air balloon launch, check out art from over 150 vendors, and enjoy entertainment happening on four different stages.
MONDAY 27
Nerd Nite The New Parkway, 474 24th St., Oakl. Doors open at 7pm, show starts at 8pm, $8. Fully nerd out this evening with lectures sure to stir up your brain cells. Kate Poirier will speak on topology — the study of spaces and spaces — and relate it to securing your bike from sneaky thieves. Bioengineer Terry Johnson will discuss how and why we build new DNA from scratch, and Megan Elizabeth Carlsen will talk about color theory. If all this info gets to be too much, grab a drink and just watch nerds in their element.
TUESDAY 28
Summer of Art UN Plaza, Market and Hyde, SF. facebook.com/summerofart. Noon-1pm, free. Soak up some sun and add some music and dance to your lunch break. This free, weekly series features different dancers, musicians, and theater shows each week for your entertainment while you chow down on some goodies from the Off the Grid food court.
Mean Greens
culture@sfbg.com
THE BLOB Good green goddess, we’re only midway through the season but your Blob is getting asparagused out! This year, that delectable spring stalk seems especially abundant on menus about the Bay, from the warming canh cua mang tay (crab and asparagus soup) at PPQ Dungeness Island (www.ppqcrab.com) in the Outer Richmond to the verdant asparagus ice cream served at a Blob friend’s garden party. Along the way: zingy asparagus lemon pizzetta with prosciutto at Per Diem (www.perdiem.com) in the FiDi, using Zuckerman Farm in Stockton’s trademark purple variety, and the snap of a Shattuck tempura roll with battered yam at Mission vegan Japanese go-to Cha-Ya (762 Valencia, SF).
The following treats are deliberately void of nubby spears — you can asparaguess why. Yet they’re pretty veg-tacular all the same.
WOLFGANG SALAD AT MARKET AND RYE
As the Blob was rolling through the diner-riffic wonderland that is West Portal — seriously, the bottomless coffee per square footage of this neighborhood is out of countrol — she remembered a sustainable, construct-your-own salad green spot had sprung up among the laden hash brown platters: Market and Rye. (There’s also one on Potrero Hill.) With choices like strawberries, flax seeds, crispy onions, and, yes, roasted asparagus, it was a lunch lock. It was also lunch rush, and the supercute staff seemed a might stretched to put together everyone’s picky orders, so the Blob chose a signature Wolfgang salad ($10.50) instead. It’s a twist on your old school Asian chicken salad, loaded with roasted chicken, red cabbage, carrots,
toasted sesame seeds, mandarin oranges, crunchy Asian trail mix, and hot mustard soy vinaigrette.
The dressing was just a might too creamy-thick for the Blob’s taste. But if there’s one thing
she loves, it’s a twisted Asian chicken salad. So she sat right down at the rustic space’s communal table with her Mason jar of strawberry water — and Wolfganged that ish right down. You can also order yummy premade salads like spring pea with lemon dressing or broccolini Waldorf by the scoop, like ice cream, which is neat.
68 West Portal and 300 De Haro, www.marketandrye.com
HAYES VALLEY FARM COCKTAIL AT ORBIT ROOM
The Orbit Room is such a special splice of atmospheric Europe cafe into artisanal SF cocktailia that the Blob hates to risk ruining it by overpromotion. Its spring drink menu is stunning ($10 each — add egg white for two more dollars, cluck cluck). The Blob stopped in with tasty amiga the Tablehopper (www.tablehopper.com), who recounted her scandalous Coachella exploits while enthusing over a Koriander — practically a salad in a glass, with leafy cilantro, tequila, ginger syrup, lime, and celery bitters. A Spring Shrub shapes a traditional American shrub (a colonial-era cocktail using sweetened vinegar syrup) with strawberry balsamic and black peppercorn base, vodka, lemon, a splash of rosé, and mint seltzer.
But the delicious Hayes Valley Farm coated the Blob’s gullet. It’s a classic bee’s knees cocktail, popular during Prohibition, with honey from the farm down the street, gin, lemon, celery juice, and rose water — all romantically garnished with dried rose petals. Sweet, but also bittersweet: sweet because the Hayes Valley farm honey came back after a massive bee die-off in 2010, bitter(ish) because the farm itself will be demolished next month for pricey condos. (The stalwart farmers claim to be OK with this, appreciating the brief time they had.) In 50 years, will people believe there was once a thriving farm there, not in 1813 but in 2013?
1900 Market, SF. www.orbitroomcafe.com
“LA FESTA DI TUTTE LE FESTE” AT CUPOLA
If you’re going to name something “the feast of all feasts” and price it at $30 per person, you know the Blob’s gonna check it out — even if it’s at a mall (in this case under the dome, thus “cupola,” at the Westfield Center). And yes, even though it does that awful phony four percent HealthySF surcharge thing, which the Blob didn’t know until she got the bill. Up to that point, she would have recommended it profligately.
Strap yourself in for eight or so random courses from handsome Lark Creek offshoot Cupola’s impressive Italian menu, decided by the kitchen. (A complementary “Festa Di Bacchus” wine journey can be had for $17.) As in: two-plus hours of well-portioned food — no flighty tasting menu flim-flam here, these are actual dishes. As in: the Blob and her companion Pinky received two whole Neapolitan pizzas (margherita and spice sopressata), a gloriously delicate handkerchief pasta with simple red sauce, a butter lettuce and gorgonzola salad, another salad of chopped veggies and wine-marinated croutons, an al dente squash and (sorry) asparagus dish, and frothy strawberry tiramisu. The highlight? A somehow feather-light artichoke lasagna — they do pasta soft here — accompanied by an arugula-cashew salad. Finally, the Blob was stuffed!
Westfield Center, 845 Market Street, fourth floor, www.cupolasf.com
On the Cheap listings
Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for listings, see Picks.
WEDNESDAY 24
LGBT Career Fair SF LGBT Center, 1800 Market, SF. lgbtcareerfair2013.eventbrite.com. Noon, free. RSVP online. Head over to the LGBT Center today to check out some leading Bay Area employers dedicated to diversity and inclusion in the workplace. The fair provides the LGBT community and allied job seekers the opportunity to network and discover new careers.
THURSDAY 25
Green fashion show and discussion SkunkFunk, 1475 Waight, SF www.efactor.com/greenclothessf. 7-9pm, free. Check out a fashion show with a focus on sustainable, eco-friendly clothing. After you’re wooed by all the green style Oceana Lott, a human resource manager, magazine editor, and teacher will speak about how to create a lifestyle that is both fulfilling and economically minded.
The Bone Room Presents The Bone Room, 1573 Solano, SF. www.boneroompresents.com. 7pm, free. Head to the Bone Room this evening to uncover the mysteries behind the human nose. Neuroscientist Leslie Vosshall will give an in-depth presentation on the biology and possibility of genetic basis for the human sense of smell.
“How to Move a Mountain” Southern Exposure, 3030 20th St., SF. www.soex.org. 7-9pm, free. At this eclectic three-pack of presentations on the power of collaborations you’ll be able to learn about the sexual life of slime mold, robots that can improvise music, and how to draw collectively.
FRIDAY 26
Body image workshop AHP Services Center, 1930 Market, SF. www.ucsf-ahp.org. 6:30-9:30pm, free. Call (415) 476-6448 x1 to register. Join tonight’s discussion about the way gay and bisexual men see their bodies. The evening will cover ways to improve body image and how it can affect your relationships and sex life.
Natural Poetry Month book party Pegasus Downtown, 2349 Shattuck, Berk. www.omnidawn.com. 7pm, free. Celebrate National Poetry Month with Omnidawn Publishing. Writers George Albon, Norma Cole, Alice Jones, and more will give brief readings from their own Omnidawn books. Hors d’oeuvres, desserts, wine, and fizzy water will be provided to sip and snack on.
SATURDAY 27
Public Square: Future soul edition YBCA Forum and Galleries, 701 Mission, SF. www.ybca.org. 11am-1am. Check website for specific event prices. Join the YBCA for a full day of classes, performances, and exhibits. Some events on the schedule include the 50 Cent Tabernacle, which — for a mere 50 cents — will give you access to up to six of the offered dance and movement classes. Hang out at an event put on by art group Field of Inquiry afterward, which answers the question “What will soul look like in the year 2038?” The group will respond with performances, food, design, murals, and technology. Check the site for a full schedule of events for the day.
Same-Sex Ballroom Competition Just Dance Ballroom, 2500 Embarcadero, Oakl. www.aprilfollies.com. 10am-11pm, $15 for daytime events only, $25 for evening events only, $35 for entire day. Now in its 11th year, the annual and longest running same-sex dance competition will include international Latin, American smooth, and American rhythm divisions. New to the competition this year are tango and country western dances. The day includes dance lessons for beginners, A-level finals, performances by top rated couples in the evening, and an open social dance for all.
9th Annual Golden Gate Sacred Harp Singing Potrero Hill Neighborhood House, 953 De Haro, SF. www.bayareasacredharp.org. 9am-3:30pm, free. Experience the raw power and moving poetry of the sacred harp in an authentic singing ritual — a centuries-old tradition of singing early American hymns in shape note style. A dinner will be held at noon on the grounds, so bring a dish to share.
SUNDAY 28
People’s Park Anniversary People’s Park, 2556 Haste, Berk. www.peoplepark.org. Noon-6pm, free. The politically driven, community-run park is celebrating its 44th anniversary today. The day will consist of live performances by The Fvah Squad Band, Junior Toots, and more. There will be tables for community organizations, workshops, free vegan meals from Food not Bombs, and a drum circle.
Pinhole Photograph Day RayKo, 428 Third St., SF. www.raykophoto.com. Noon-5pm, free. In honor of worldwide Pinhole Photography Day, RayKo is hosting a special exhibition of this throwback, analogue art. Pinhole artist Jo Babcok will be exhibiting his images and cameras made from everything from a suitcase to coffee pots to a bowling ball case. Babcock will also be teaching pinhole amateurs how to make their own camera from supplies provided by RayKo. Check the website to enroll in this quick-and-easy seminar.
How Weird Street Faire Howard and New Montgomery, SF. www.howweird.org. Noon-8pm, $10 donation requested. The 14th annual street faire is back with the theme “Weirdi Gras.” The fair will include marching bands, parades, art, performances, 10 stages of world-class electronic music, and vendors from around the world. Expect to see costumes, and dancing reminiscent of New Orlean’s Mardi Gras style. Even more exciting, five New Orleans marching bands will roam the fair grounds this year, in accordance with the theme.
Festival of Mandolins Croatian American Cultural Center, 60 Onondage, SF. www.croationamericanweb.org. 11am-5pm, $10 advance, $15 door, children free. The 13th annual San Francisco Festival of the Mandolins will include five diverse performances ranging from bluegrass to classical. Before the show mandolin workshops will be held. Ethnic Bulgarian food will also be available.
Selector: April 17-23, 2013
WEDNESDAY 17
Night Beats
Seattle’s Night Beats has all of the fixings of a good psych-garage act; the lo-fi recordings, the raspy vocals with punctuated yelps, and the noisily manipulated guitar. But the band, which takes its name from Sam Cooke’s best record, has a direct link to the more soulful breeds of music the title suggests, such as R&B. “Dial 666” is simple, 12-bar blues, “High Noon Blues” borrows sentiment and structure from that genre, and “Puppet on a String” seems to call for some old-fashioned dance moves. With the combination of vigorous rock and sensuous roll, Night Beats’ show at Brick and Mortar promises to be satisfying. (Laura Kerry)
With Cool Ghouls, Primitive Hearts, Big Drag
9pm, $10
Brick and Mortar Music Hall
1710 Mission, SF
(415) 800-8782
Bad Religion
Mixing aggressive guitar riffs with politically-savvy lyrics and harmony-laden vocals — which the band refers to as “oozin’ aahs” in its liner notes — Southern California’s Bad Religion has been going strong for more than three decades. It just released latest album, True North on founding member Brett Gurewitz’ iconic independent label Epitaph Records last January. And the punk rock stalwarts continue to be driven by singer-author-professor Greg Graffin’s powerful songwriting, which touches on everything from global politics and religion to more personal experiences and emotions that just about anyone can relate to and share in a sense of powerful catharsis. (Sean McCourt)
With the Bronx, Polar Bear Club
8pm, $27.50–$30
Regency Ballroom
1300 Van Ness, SF
The 2 Bears
I don’t need caffeine. My computer just starts playing “Work” by the 2 Bears at 7am, complete with rising organ, a pulsing groove, and motivational chorus: “We’ve got to work harder, for the future, my love we got to work.” It might not even be the best song on Be Strong from the 2 Bears (Hot Chips’s Joe Goddard and the Raf Daddy), as it faces stiff competition from hilarious, cuddly club anthem “Bear Hug” and the uplifting, romantic space dub on “Church.” But, it does the job of getting me moving, and by the time the disco queen vocals kick in I’m likely showered and downstairs having breakfast. (Ryan Prendiville)
With Sleazemore, Richie Panic (Lights Down Low)
10pm, $15 presale
1015 Folsom, SF
THURSDAY 18
“Touching Art: Tribute to Judith Scott”
Skin, the largest organ, keeps our insides safe from the perils of the outside, but it is also the membrane through which we experience the world. In its tribute to Judith Scott, swissnex will explore this, looking at touch’s role in the creation of art. Scott, who could neither speak nor hear and therefore relied heavily on her sense of touch, made beautiful cocoon structures at Oakland’s Creative Growth Art Center for 20 years. Swissnex, in conjunction with Switzerland’s L’Art Brut, will screen a film about the artist, showcase some of her work, and host a talk by Dr. Sandra Weiss on the connection between touch and emotion. The night promises be a touching intersection of art and science. (Kerry)
6pm, $10
swissnex
730 Montgomery, SF
(415) 912-5901
FRIDAY 19
An evening with Manlio Argueta
While a hard punishment, exile can also be the place where great works of art are born. “I left with a closed fist and came back with an open hand,” said Rafael Alberti returning to Spain after 38 years of exile. Ostracized in Mexico, Pablo Neruda finished one of his masterpieces Canto General. Exiled in Costa Rica, acclaimed Salvadorean poet Manlio Argueta wrote his most celebrated novel, One Day of Life (Vintage Book, 1983). In line with his mentor, poet Roque Dalton, Argueta vividly writes about the 12-year civil war through a peasant family’s eyes. The book, available in 15 languages, was named one of the best 10 novels in Spanish of the 20th century by NY’s Modern Library. (Fernando Andres Torres)
7pm $10
ANSWER
2969 Mission, SF
(415) 902-4754
“We Are Winning, Don’t Forget: Short works by Jean-Gabriel Périot”
Jean-Gabriel Périot developed a painstaking approach to making films. By carefully stitching together archival images, both still and moving, he creates political narratives that are poignant despite (or because of) their brevity. As a part of a US tour that begins at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, the filmmaker comes to the Bay with nine short films, with subjects ranging from Hiroshima to “politics and tomatoes.” The evening at Artist’s Television Access presents a great opportunity to see these stunning films and the man behind the camera. (Kerry)
8pm, $10
Artist’s Television Access
992 Valenica, SF
(415) 824-3890
Sheetal Ghandi: Bahu Beti Biwis
Deconstructing cultural artifacts is just about today’s lingua franca. Sometimes you might wish that artists left well enough alone. Yet, at its best it shows creative minds at work that are willing to take the risks inherent in changing lenses. Sheetal Ghandi is one of them. Even though her performance practices are already exceptionally broad —Kathak, modern and West African dance, plus Broadway as well as Cirque du Soleil — she took a lot of imaginative leaps for her solo show Bahu Beti Biwis (Daughter-in-law, daughter, wife), a series of both humorous and poignant portraits of women and the roles traditionally assigned to them. It’s a piece that has been described as empathizing with “Indian women across time and space.” (Rita Felciano)
Fri/19-Sat/20, 8pm; Sun/21, 7pm, $20–$25
ODC Theater
3153 17th St., SF
(415) 863-9834
SATURDAY 20
Mishap Psychic Fair
Nothing will make sense on 420 anyway (unless you snagged tickets for Snoop Lion at the Fillmore, in which case: jealous), so you may as well go to the goofiest damn event you can find. Surely the Mishap Psychic Fair is in the running for the honorific — the (is it?) satirical set-up will feature tongue-in-cheek booths where you can align your crystals via rock opera, attune to your inner “sexy anger,” and temper it all with cocktails if you’re not too bleary-eyed from the traditional mode of celebration on this international holiday. Buy tix to the fair in advance and you’ll snag a complimentary photo of your aura, a so-called magic elixir, or henna tattoo. Heal thyself, hippie. (Caitlin Donohue)
Sat/20, 8pm, $10
Geoffrey’s Inner Circle
410 14th St., Oakl.
The Last Unicorn screening and birthday celebration
And now for something completely magical: Peter S. Beagle, author of beloved 1968 fantasy novel The Last Unicorn (among dozens of other works), turns 74 today, and he’ll journey from his home in Oakland for a pair of birthday- and unicorn-themed San Francisco events. (Hooves up if you ever had a unicorn-themed birthday party! I know I did … maybe more than once.) First is a screening of the 1982 animated film adapted from the book, with voices by Mia Farrow, Jeff Bridges, and Alan Arkin; Beagle will be on hand to answer questions and sign books. Diehards can continue the festivities at the Cartoon Art Museum, which hosts a reading and further signings by the author, plus an auction of some mighty nifty original artwork to benefit the museum and Beagle’s imminent multi-city tour. Costumes are encouraged, obvi. (Cheryl Eddy)
Screening, noon-3pm, $8.50
Castro Theatre
429 Castro, SF
VIP reception, 6-8pm, $25
Cartoon Art Museum
655 Mission, SF
“Bill Frisell presents Hunter S. Thompson’s The Kentucky Derby“
Jazz guitarist Bill Frisell has tackled many an avant-garde project in his 40-plus year career, and his latest foray beckons fans of music, stage, and literature. Bringing life to Hunter S. Thompson’s memorable “The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved” this weekend, Frisell will be joined by narrator Tim Robbins in a multimedia production featuring set design by the iconic writer’s longtime collaborator Ralph Steadman. Considered the first of Thompson’s pieces to truly reflect his “Gonzo” style of journalism, the story and production will no doubt envelop audience members in an aural and visual way never before experienced. Buy the ticket, take the ride. (McCourt)
Sat/20, 7:30pm; Sun/21, 4 and 7:30pm, $35–$80
SF Jazz Center
201 Franklin, SF
Maria Minerva
Minerva was the Roman goddess of wisdom. That’s what I’ve found out on Wikipedia. What I’ve found out about Estonian lo-fi electronic chanteuse Maria Minerva is that she’s an art school graduate/critic/glossolalia expert/comedy student. But, all I really know is that her Bless EP on 100% Silk is excellent. “Soulsearchin’,” focuses on the anxiety of options, built around George Carlin’s “Modern Man,” but it’s the laid-back guitar, slightly off-kilter percussion, and circling vocals on “Symbol of My Pleasure” that stay with me. (Prendiville)
With Butterclock (live), Marco De La Vega, and more
9pm, $10 presale
Public Works
161 Erie, SF
(415) 932-0955
MONDAY 22
Oakland Veg Week
Perhaps you are deluged by the information regarding sustainable eating available today. This is completely understandable — at times, we feel as though we will surely perish under the mountainous weight of fair trade quinoa foisted upon us by Bay Area foodie culture. Luckily, Oakland Veg Week is going on, with its host of events meant to dispel myths about what to eat. Go on a farm field trip, take vegan cheese-making classes (both April 27), attend a talk by Paul Shapiro of the Humane Society on why eating animals is bad for the earth (April 25), snack your way through a delicious grand finale at the Lake Merritt Sailboat House (April 28), or check out the host of other, veg-friendly events this week. (Donohue)
Through April 28
Various Oakland locations
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CAREERS AND ED: Learn to eat
caitlin@sfbg.com
CAREERS AND ED Don’t tell me you’ve been eating your whole life and you don’t need any lessons on food. Hardy har har, how’s your waist line? Energy level? Food budget? You can always learn more about how to make your diet healthier, cheaper, and above all, more sustainable. The Bay Area has to be one of the best places in the world to learn about how to eat well, and the institutions that put on each of these course offerings are phenomenal places to start dabbling in the area. No more plastic-wrapped sandwiches, ill-informed beer purchases, or factory farm chicken for you, boo boo.
“GROW YOUR OWN FOOD”
No excuses: you can garden in San Francisco year-round, and that doesn’t matter anyway because we’re in the rosy pink of spring, when even your uncle up in Minneapolis is turning his thoughts to sprouts and soil. Garden for the Environment has a host of classes dedicated to greening that fat lil’ digit of yours, but today’s offering is particularly salient for snackers. Organic gardening instructor Carey Craddock will take charge among the rows today, teaching you what plants are perfect for April, and how to get your space ready to raise edible flora.
April 13, 10am-2pm, $25. Garden for the Environment, Lawton and Seventh Ave., SF. www.gardenfortheenvironment.org
“BUILD A CHICKEN COOP”
At the end of the day in this urban chickenry class, you’ll have not only witnessed but aided in the construction of a “Garden Ark” portable chicken coop. Carpenter Joan Weir has designed this one-off course to be of maximum service to the community — you’ll learn coop-building skills, and Rosa Parks Elementary School will score a brand-new home for its feathered flock.
April 14, 10am-5pm, $50. Rosa Parks Elementary School, 920 Allston, Berk. www.biofueloasis.com
“DEBUNKING THE MYTHS OF VEGANISM”
The talk is actually part of Oakland Veg Week (April 22-28), which includes tons of free veg and vegan cooking classes, lectures on sustainable eating, a screening of the plant-based diet booster Forks Over Knives (April 25), bus trip to a Grass Valley animal sanctuary (April 27), and grand finale buffet at the Lake Merritt Sailboat House (April 28). But start here, with Colleen “The Compassionate Cook” Patrick-Goudreau’s presentation that addresses all the excuses that fly about for not going veg. No time to be meat-free? Not enough protein in greens? She’ll set you straight.
April 23, 6:30pm, free. Oakland Library, Temescal branch, 5205 Telegraph, Oakl. www.oaklandveg.com
“BREW LAB: HOMEBREW AND BEYOND”
Brew and bottle two batches of your very own suds in this three-class seminar, billed as the most comprehensive homebrew 101 in town that doesn’t require any investment in equipment, for all you newbies to the brew scene. Mission Gastroclub (www.missiongastroclub.org) founder Eric Denman is the instructor, which means you can expect delicious bites at each session, happily crucial in your quest to understand the flavors of your beer.
April 23, 30, and May 14, 7-9pm, $160. 18 Reasons, 1874 18th St., SF. www.18reasons.org
“COTTAGE LAW 101”
Huzzah for the California Homemade Food Act! Recently signed into law, it allows small producers to make low-risk foods like candy, empanadas, baked goods, and dried teas in their home, without renting a spendy commercial kitchen space. If the news has you itching to start a homemade chocolate stand, stop off at ForageSF’s class first. It’s a primer on the law’s ins and outs, perfect for those looking to join the ranks of Forage’s lauded Underground Market artisans. Bring a plate to share with 20 people and get a discount on your tuition.
April 27, $30 if you bring a dish to share, $50 without. SomArts Cultural Center, 934 Brannan, SF. www.somarts.org
Hot sexy events: Nerd boobs, Bill Gates’ condom quest, and the Sheagle = landed
Hey, dudes who don’t like condoms, has Bill Gates got your back or what? During the same month that the Pope Emeritus reincarnates as a wall of condoms, the tech bajillionaire has donated the change he found in his couch ($100,000) to the Global Health research foundation Bill and wife Melinda founded through their foundation to developing a rubber that feels better on penises.
Yes, we know, yet more money that focuses on male reproductive health. But for those who regularly find themselves in contact with penis-bearers, the promise of never hearing another “but I can’t feeeel it with the condom on,” will be a definite boon to that largest of sexual organs: our brain, which non-scientifically speaking, shrivels up and dies a little from so much whining in bed. (Also, penis bearers? Golf claps for science, but in the meantime you might benefit from not jerking it so damn hard. Try a Fleshlight.)
Chat about the politics of sex research, or forget about politics altogether, at this week’s sexy events:
Sheagle
A night presented by the female-identified kinksters of San Francisco, but open to attendees in the newly (more or less) re-opened space of this beloved leather bar. The monthly party will benefit a different female-identified organization — this month it’s the SF girls of Leather, who rad work you can read about in this Guardian cover story on their cute kink from a few years ago.
Wed/27, 8pm-2am, free. Eagle, 298 12th St., SF. www.sf-eagle.com
“Bling My Vibe” awards ceremony
When Good Vibrations contacted me about crafting an project from a vibrator for their March art contest I said: sure. And though every time I’ve been back to see it proudly installed in the Polk Street store’s gallery/education space there’s been a class going on, I have nothing but the utmost faith that the room full of Conehead vibes, vibrators fashioned into magical steeds, and Ninja Turtles vibes (HuffPo has a nice slideshow if you’re curious) is an uplifting experience. Today, the top crafters take home gift certificates so that they can continue to make sweet projects with Good Vibes gear.
Fri/29, 6-8pm, free. Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk, SF. www.goodvibes.com
Nerd Nite at the Lusty Lady
SF’s only co-op strip club welcomes sci-fi freaks tonight. Lusty dancer Pandora wrote us in an email that the Lusty theme nights are all about costumes: “Well, as much as you can costume and still be naked, which as it turns out is quite a bit. 😉 Sometimes music or activities like naked Twister, naked light saber battle. naked karaoke. Pretty much anything fun, and put naked in front of it.” Check out this video for more on why the peep shows and VIP booths here rock:
Fri/29, 8am-3pm. The Lusty Lady, 1033 Kearny, SF. www.lustylady.com
Spring Breakers
“Why you acting ‘spicious?” The ATL twins, James Franco Gucci Mane, Vanessa Hudgens, blatant perversion of typical crime movie gender roles — Harmony Korine’s latest cult classic is the sexiest film of 2013 and you should see it before you get secondhand sick of the catchphrases. Which reminds me, “spring break 4eva.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVvn9T6bqls
Various Bay Area theaters
Goodbye Gauley Mountain screening and dinner
Feminist porn pioneer Annie Sprinkle and partner Beth Stephens premiere the couple’s documentary on their ecosexual relationship with the Appalachian mountains and the crusade to stop destructive mining practices. Come early for the pre-screening vegan Appalachian dinner.
Trailer Goodbye Gauley Mtn: An Ecosexual Love Story from Elizabeth Stephens on Vimeo.
Sat/30, dinner 6:30pm, screening 7pm, $10-100. Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission, SF. www.sexandculture.org
Hospitable pectorals
caitlin@sfbg.com
SEX The clan I had assembled that day in my living room had little idea what was in store for them.
“So they’re strippers?” one of my friends hoped, fingering their tumbler of champagne.
“Not strippers, they’re sexy butlers. Same tipping rules,” I said. “They’ll serve drinks and do icebreakers.” “Oh.”
The parties in our living room are rarely in need of icebreakers, but the offer from the Bare Bachelors (www.barebachelor.com) to do a test run at a hastily-organized cocktail hour in honor of my roommate’s birthday — for journalism, mind you — was not one, I felt, a thinking person would pass up.
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“I was looking for this kind of business and it didn’t exist in San Francisco.” I’ve installed Bare Bachelors founder Maureen Downey at my kitchen table so we can talk as two of her “actors, models, bartenders, or whatever,” attired in jockey briefs, aprons, and bow ties prepare Cazadores-and-grapefruit-sodas for the suddenly-awkward guests in the living room.
Downey, who tells me her previous career was in medical device clinical research, envisioned a party service less “dated” than strippers, but still sexy. It’s a combination that makes sense for the straight 30-something lady clientele Bare Bachelors has been attracting, mainly through word of mouth, since 2010. Downey’s Bachelors are self-aware, scantily clad caterers. She hopes to expand the clientele base.
For individuals well used to groin-thrusting go-go’s under strobe lights — or Dolores Park on a sunny day, as one of my guests pointed out — the Bare Bachelors’ impressive pectorals will not have quite the same novelty. But they charmed the goddamn pants off of the birthday boy, were handsome, and managed to get surprisingly candid during the game of Never Have I Ever they happily catalyzed.
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So candid, I thought I’d open up the party to a little Q&A for my guests. Which was a mistake.
“So if someone, like, gave you a little more money will you, you know, go further?,” inquired another roommate emboldened by her tequila-and-grapefruit.
“No, absolutely not.” The Bare Bachelors tittered nervously, pecs unsure about the appropriate course of action under this kind of scrutiny.
“Do you consider yourself sex workers?,” her line of questioning pressed on, unrelenting in its desire to contextualize the Bachelors.
“No, definitely not.” The room pondered its next probe, but was unable to go further down the rabbit hole before one of my more socially-sensitive friends effectively closed interrogations.
Post-Bachelors, we reconvened for a processing session. Results were mainly favorable: “not creepy,” “tried to mesh with the group,” “the biggest problem was that there were no tits,” “visibly shy,” “pretty tasty drinks,” and perhaps most succinctly: “really sexy, and they had ass hair!”
THIS WEEK’S SEXY EVENTS
Spring Breakers Various Bay Area theaters. ATL twins, Gucci Mane, Vanessa Hudgens, blatant perversion of typical crime movie gender roles — Harmony Korine’s latest cult classic is the sexiest film of 2013 and you should see it before you get secondhand sick of the catchphrases.
Goodbye Gauley Mountain Sat/30, dinner 6:30pm, screening 7pm, $10-100. Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission, SF. www.sexandculture.org. Feminist porn pioneer Annie Sprinkle and partner Beth Stephens premiere the couple’s documentary on their ecosexual relationship with the Appalachian mountains and the crusade to stop destructive mining practices. Come early for the pre-screening vegan Appalachian dinner.