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Stage Listings

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Stage listings are compiled by Guardian staff. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks. For complete listings, see www.sfbg.com.

THEATER

ONGOING

*Candid Dance Mission Theater, 3316 24th St; 273-4633, www.sweetcanproductions.com. $15-60. Call for dates and times. Through Jan 9. Sweet Can Productions presents an acrobatic holiday circus extravaganza.

Dirty Little Showtunes! A Parody Musical Revue New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $24-40. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 16. Tom Orr’s adults-only holiday show returns, with direction by F. Allen Sawyer and musical direction by Scrumbly Koldewyn.

Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes CounterPULSE, 1310 Mission; www.ticketfly.com. $25. Thurs, 7 and 9pm. Through Thurs/23. Heklina, Cookie Dough, Matthew Martin, and Pollo Del Mar return with their stage tribute to the sitcom.

Joyful Noise: A Gospel Celebration of Christmas Southside Theater, Fort Mason Center; 345-7575, www.LHTSF.org. $25-50. Call for dates and times. Through Dec 31. Lorraine Hansberry Theatre presents a rechristened version of their Black Nativity production.

The Lion in Winter Actors Theatre, 855 Bush; 345-1287, www.ticketweb.com. $26-38. Wed-Sat, 8pm. Through Jan 15. Actors Theatre of SF presents James Goldman’s play of palace intrigue.

Mr. YooWho’s Holiday NOHspace, 2840 Mariposa; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $10-18. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 2. European clown Moshe Cohen returns to SF for a third run at NOHspace.

Party of 2 – The New Mating Musical Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; (800) 838-3006, www.partyof2themusical.com. $27-29. Sun, 3pm. Open-ended. A musical about relationships by Shopping! The Musical author Morris Bobrow.

*Pearls Over Shanghai Thrillpeddlers’ Hypnodrome, 575 Tenth St; 1-800-838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $30-69. Sat, 8pm. Through April 9. Thrillpeddlers’ acclaimed production of the Cockettes musical continues its successful run.

Santaland Diaries Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $20-30. Nightly, 8pm (also Thurs/23, 5pm). Through Dec 30. David Sinaiko returns as Crumpet in Combined Artform’s ninth annual production of the David Sedaris play.

Shrek The Musical Orpheum Theatre, 1192 Market; (888) SHN-1799, www.shnsf.com. $30-99. Tues, 8pm, Wed, 2 and 8pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2pm (no performances Fri/24, Sat/25, and Dec 31). Through Jan 2. Eric Petersen stars in the stage version of the animated blockbuster.

Siddhartha, the Bright Path The Marsh Studio Theater, 1074 Valencia; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $15-35. Call for dates and times. Through Jan 9. Marsh Youth Theater presents a holiday celebration, directed by Lisa Quoresimo.

A Tale of Two Genres SF Playhouse, Stage Two, 533 Sutter; www.un-scripted.com. $10-20. Wed-Thurs, 8pm. Through Thurs/23. Un-Scripted Theater Company performs an improvised musical in the style of Charles Dickens.

BAY AREA

Arabian Nights Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Thrust Stage, 2025 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2549, www.berkeleyrep.org. $34-73. Call for dates and times. Through Dec 30. Tony-winning Mary Zimmerman’s production makes a return to Berkeley Rep.

Becoming Julia Morgan Berkeley City Club, 2315 Durant, Berk; (510) 984-3864, www.brownpapertickets.com. $24-30. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 9. Janis Stevens stars in Belinda Taylor’s play about the trailblazing architect.

A Christmas Memory TheatreWorks at Lucie Stern Theatre, 1305 Middlefield, Palo Alto; (650) 463-1960, www.theatreworks.org. $19-67. Tues-Wed, 7:30pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm (also Dec 23, 2pm; Dec 24, 7pm). Through Sun/26. TheatreWorks presents the seasonal tale by Truman Capote.

East 14th – True Tales of a Reluctant Player The Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston Way, Berk; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Call for times. Through Feb 13. Don Reed’s one-man show continues its extended run.

Lemony Snicket’s The Composer is Dead Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Roda Theatre, 2015 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, www.berkeleyrep.org. Call for dates and times. Through Jan 15. Berkeley Rep premieres the new musical, written by Lemony Snicket, with music by Nathaniel Stookey.

Naughty and Nice: A Meg and Billy Christmas Aurora Theatre Company, 2081 Addison, Berk; (510) 843-4822, www.auroratheatre.org. $23-25. Call for dates and times. Through Dec 30. Bay Area husband and wife cabaret duo Meg Mackay and Billy Philadelphia return with a holiday show.

Of the Earth – The Salt Plays: Part 2 Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby; (510) 841-6500, www.shotgunplayers.org. $17-30. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 30. Shotgun Players present the second half of writer and director Jon Tracy’s Odyssey-inspired tale, with music by Brendan West.

The World’s Funniest Bubble Show The Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $8-50. Sun, 11am (also Wed/22-Thurs/23 and Sun/26-Tues/28, 11am and 2pm; and Dec 29-30, 11am). Through Dec 30. The Amazing Bubble Man’s show presents flying saucer bubbles and other wonders.

PERFORMANCE/DANCE

American Pop Parable The Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St; 647-2888, www.makeoutroom.com. Mon/27, 8pm. $5. The Cat’s Pajamas presents an evening of storytelling and song, with MamaCoAl, DeCoy Gallerina, Alan Kaufman, Jelal Hyler, Julie Indelicato, and Cameron Ochs Band.

Flow (The Winged Crocodile)/Trains ODC Theater, 3153 17th; 863-9834, www.odcdance.org. Wed/22, 8pm. $18. The Relationship presents a piece with text by Leslie Scalapino and music by Jean Jeanrenaud.

Forking II: A Merry Forking! Christmas Off-Market Theatres, 965 Mission; (800) 838-3006, www.pianofight.com. Call for dates and times (through Dec 30). PianoFight presents a holiday-themed choose-your-own-adventure play.

Kung Pao Kosher Comedy New Asia Restaurant, 772 Pacific; 522-3737, www.koshercomedy.com. Thurs/23, 5 and 8:30pm; Fri/24-Sat/25, 6 and 9:30pm; Sun/26, 5 and 8:30pm. $42-62. The 18th annual celebration of Jewish comedy in a Chinese restaurant.

Texas Chainsaw Yuletide Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. Wed/22-Thurs/23, 9:30pm). $15. Combined Artform presents a one-man show by comedian Will Franken.

BAY AREA

The Coverlettes Cover Christmas 2020 Addison, Berk; (510) 644-2020. Wed/22-Thurs/23, 8pm. $18.50-19.50. The fictitious girl group presents a Christmas cabaret concert.

Striking 12 TheatreWorks at Lucie Stern Theatre, 1305 Middlefield, Palo Alto; (650) 463-1960, www.theatreworks.org. Tues/28, 7:30pm (through Dec 31). $56-75. Indie pop group GrooveLily ushers in the new year a rewired version of Hans Christian Andersen’s The Little Match Girl.

Our Weekly Picks: December 22-28, 2010

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WEDNESDAY 22

DANCE

The Christmas Ballet

Smuin Ballet’s The Christmas Ballet (previewed previously and now a mini-review) is a welcome antidote to the sentimentality surrounding the holiday season. The first part pays lip service to more or less classical music but the show really takes off in the second half, “The Cool Christmas.” Matthew Linzer as Elvis and Robin Cornwell, giving life to Eartha Kitt, are show-stealers. But then so is Ryan Camou’s high-leaping drummer boy. This entertainment — and that’s what it is — is ballet-based though leavened with Cajun, Irish, polka, waltz, hula, jazz, and tap. This year choreographer-in-residence Amy Seiwert’s added a spritely “Carol of the Bells”; her stark and sculpturally intriguing “Noel Nouvelet,” based on a 15th-century carol, still looks strong. The late Smuin’s wide-ranging musical taste allowed him to come with intriguing versions of familiar material. In this respect, at least, Seiwert seems to follow in his footsteps. (Rita Felciano)

Wed/22–Thurs/23, 8 p.m. (also Wed/22, 2 p.m.);

Fri/24, 2 p.m., $4–$62

Yerba Buena Center for the Arts

Novellus Theater

701 Mission, SF

(415) 978-2787

www.ybca.org

 

PERFORMANCE

SantaLand Diaries

David Sedaris, one of America’s favorite humorists, got his start with SantaLand Diaries, an essay on his stint working as an elf in the holiday spectacle at Macy’s. Sedaris first shared this humorous holiday anecdote on National Public Radio’s Morning Edition in 1992. Since then it has been adapted for the stage by Joe Mantello as a solo one-act. David Sinaiko stars as Crumpet the elf in Combined Artform’s annual presentation of holiday amusement and laughs. The wacky zaniness of the holidays is captured by Sedaris like none other. Note that no one under 16 will be admitted. (Emmaly Wiederholt)

Wed/22–Fri/24 and Dec. 26–-30, 8 p.m.;

(also Thurs/23, 5 p.m.; Fri/24, 3 p.m.) $20–$30

Eureka Theatre

215 Jackson, SF

www.cafearts.com

 

MUSIC

San Francisco Symphony

In the last few frenzied days before Christmas, take time to get into the spirit with the San Francisco Symphony in Twas the Night, a program of holiday favorites. From “Good King Wenceslas” to “The 12 Days of Christmas,” this assortment of beloved seasonal tunes will put the whole family in good cheer. Ages 17 and under are half-price and complimentary festive beverages follow the performance, so join in the jolly fun. With Ragnar Bohlin conducting, Robert Huw Morgan on organ, Lisa Vroman singing soprano, and Joan Cifarelli on piano, traditional carols and songs come to life as never before. (Wiederholt)

Wed/22–Thurs/23, 7:30 p.m.; Fri/24, 2 p.m., $15–$67

Davies Symphony Hall

201 Van Ness, SF

(415) 864-6000

www.sfsymphony.org

 

THURSDAY 23

 

FILM

Sita Sings the Blues

Inspired by the sudden decay of her own marriage, Nina Paley recreated what she’s called “the greatest break-up story ever told,” the tale of Sita and Rama from Sanskrit epic the Ramayama. The resulting film, produced on the director’s home computer, has been hailed as a miracle of contemporary animation, blending various artistic styles with the music of 1920s blues singer Annette Hanshaw. Using that music created a copyright suit against Paley, who has since released the movie online as part of the Free Culture movement. These screenings benefit the Red Vic, courtesy of the director and Shadow Distribution. (Ryan Prendiville) Thurs/23 and Sun/26, 7:15 and 9:15 p.m.

(also Sun/26, 2 and 4 p.m.), $6–$9

Red Vic Movie House

1727 Haight, SF

(415) 668-3994

www.redvicmoviehouse.com

 

PERFORMANCE

“Joyful Noise: A Gospel Celebration of Christmas”

The Lorraine Hansberry Theatre is in the midst of its 30th anniversary seasons — and like all previous seasons, 2010-11 is dedicated to “exploring, celebrating, and reflecting the lives of African Americans.” But it’s been a bittersweet year, with the deaths of founding artistic director Stanley E. Williams and founding executive director Quentin Easter, a longtime couple, coming just weeks apart. LHT has dedicated this year’s spin on its traditional holiday gospel musical, Black Nativity, to the pair; the popular performance’s new title and script were created with Williams’ input before he died. But don’t expect a somber affair — the play honors the spirits of its founders with dance, humor, and powerful vocals, and promises to bring joy to all ages, cultures, and faiths. (Cheryl Eddy)

Through Dec. 31

Thurs, 8 p.m.; Fri/24 and Dec. 31, 2 p.m.;

(also Dec. 31, 7 p.m.); Sun/26, 4 p.m., $25–$50

Fort Mason Center

Southside Theater, Bldg D

Marina at Laguna, SF

www.lhtsf.org

 

EVENT

Latke Ball

While the nerdy Jews will be tittering away at Kung Pao Kosher Comedy (see below), the Jew who just wants to get her grind on (or anyone trying to duck down from tinsel) heads tonight to the annual Latke Ball, the Jewish Community Federation’s annual December fundraiser — usually held Dec. 24 but stepping into the night prior this year outta respect to shabbat. Sure, there are no cutting edge DJs on the bill, but more than 1,000 observant and not-so-much Heebs who refuse to take “closed for the holidays” for an answer? This calls for a mazel tov! — and maybe a Manhattan. (Caitlin Donohue)

9 p.m.–2 a.m., $40

Ruby Skye

420 Mason, SF

(415) 777-0411

www.jewishfed.org/event/latke-ball-2010

 

PERFORMANCE

Kung Pao Kosher Comedy

While the Jew into sweatin’ to the top 40 is dodging flailing stiletto vamps at the Latke Ball (see above), the more cerebral set heads to Kung Pao Kosher Comedy, comedian Lisa Geduldig’s 18-year-old stand-up alternative to the low-fi claymation specials blasting from your roommate’s TV. The annual event was birthed in a South Hadley, Mass., Chinese restaurant and serves up yucks by offbeat comedians hailing from various corners of Jewdom, all over family-style servings of rock cod with bok choy and Boca Raton-style chow mein. Headliners this year include creepy-cute comedy vet Wendy Liebman, 21-year old prodigy Nathan Habib, and Georgia-born Vietnamese-Jew Joe Nguyen. (Donohue)

Thurs/23–Sun/26, 5 and 8:30 p.m., $42–$62

New Asia Restaurant

772 Pacific, SF

(925) 275-9005

www.koshercomedy.com

 

SATURDAY 25

 

EVENT

Safeway Holiday Ice Rink

New York City has its world-famous skating rink at Rockefeller Center, blah blah blah. But why travel to the freezing-cold East Coast when you can get some downtown ice time right here in San Francisco? Possibly rocking a t-shirt while you’re at it? Plunked down in the middle of Union Square, the Safeway Holiday Ice Rink offers 90-minute sessions starting on each even hour. You’ll already be banged up from fighting the crowds at Macy’s and (sweet Jeebus) Forever 21, so it’s well worth taking a shopping time-out to channel your inner Johnny Weir as Union Square’s behemoth Christmas tree twinkles overhead. (Eddy)

Through Jan. 17, 2011

Daily, 10 a.m.–10 p.m. (Fri-Sat, 10 a.m.-11:30 p.m.);

Dec. 31, closes at 9:30 p.m., $4.50–$9.50 (skate rental, $4)

Union Square

Geary and Powell, SF

www.unionsquareicerink.com

 

MUSIC

“13th Annual Black X Mass”

Gotta love it when you click on an event taking place Dec. 25 and it takes you to the First Satanic Church’s homepage. The Black X Mass, though, is ironically a bit of a godsend. Maybe you don’t celebrate Christmas, or you’re unable to travel to hang with relatives — or perhaps you’re planning to do both, and fully realize you’ll need to decompress after a full-court press of holiday cheer. Whatever the reason, if you’ll be lurking around the dark and lonely streets of San Francisco during the holidays, head to the Elbo Room for Karla LaVey and the First Satanic Church’s annual Black X Mass party. Replace that Santa hat with horns and hail the stylings of Graves Brothers Deluxe, Dimesland, Los Murderachis, the Fuxedos, Theremin Wizard Barney, the Devil Dancers, and more. (Eddy)

9 p.m., $9.99

Elbo Room

647 Valencia, SF

(415) 552-7788

www.elbo.com

 

SUNDAY 26

 

PERFORMANCE

“Gallagher’s Holiday Smash Bash”

Like Sinbad, Gallagher has spent a couple decades in relative obscurity. So obscure, in fact, that’s it’s hard to imagine a time when he was popular. Immensely popular. Like, 10 televised specials between 1980 and 1987 popular. (Side note: this type of inexplicable success is known as “the Aykroyd phenomenon.”) Cultural amnesia makes it difficult to admit liking the innovator of prop comedy. But the decline of Gallagher is not due to simply a change in fashion, the way society decided one day that we no longer found giant men hilarious if they wore Hammer pants. No, it’s because of Carrot Top. That fucker single-handedly ruined props for everyone. Tonight, Gallagher may Sledge-O-Matic us back to a simpler time. (Prendiville)

7 p.m., $30

Yoshi’s San Francisco

1330 Fillmore, SF

(415) 655-5600

www.yoshis.com

 

MONDAY 27

MUSIC

Morris Day and the Time

Few can rock a suit like Morris Day. After bringing himself out of a self-imposed retirement in 2004, the funk-R&B singer and Prince collaborator released It’s About Time, his first solo album in 12 years. Much to his fans’ delight, he also got all the original members of the Time back together to begin touring again. Pieced together by Prince in 1981 as an outlet for material he didn’t necessarily want to release under his own (ever-changing) name, the group eventually carried on itself, thanks in large part to the eccentric and energetic stylings of Day — who also turned in a memorable performance as the Purple One’s foil in 1984’s Purple Rain. (Landon Moblad)

Mon/27–Tues/28, 8 and 10 p.m., $30–$45

Yoshi’s San Francisco

1330 Fillmore, SF

(415) 655-5600

www.yoshis.com

 

TUESDAY 28

 

MUSIC

“X-mas With X (An Evening With)”

Legendary Los Angeles punk rock group X distinguished itself from other bands of its era by adding the rock-solid drumming of DJ Bonebrake, the guitar virtuosity of Billy Zoom, and the poetic lyrics and intimate vocal interplay of John Doe and Exene Cervenka. It was this distinctive blend that caught the attention of Doors keyboardist Ray Manzarek, who went on to produce the band’s classic first album, 1980’s Los Angeles. At these two very special shows, Manzarek joins X on stage to perform their debut record in its entirety, lending his talents on the keys that helped shape tunes such as the throbbing “Nausea” and the set-closing “The World’s A Mess, It’s In My Kiss.” (Sean McCourt)

Through Dec. 29

8 p.m., $31

Slim’s

333 11th St., SF

(415) 255-0333

www.slims-sf.com 

 

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Look forward in anger

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arts@sfbg.com

HAIRY EYEBALL/YEAR IN ART The year in art is ending on a note both sour and defiant. On Nov. 30, Smithsonian Secretary G. Wayne Clough, caving to criticism voiced by conservative politicians and religious groups, ordered the removal of David Wojnarowicz’s 1987 video A Fire in My Belly from the National Portrait Gallery’s exhibition “Hide/Seek: Difference and Desire in American Portraiture.” It was a cowardly decision; one that ultimately has undermined the credibility of Clough and his institution.

It’s unfortunate that it took an act of censorship to get art — specifically, art by an openly gay artist responding to the darkest hours of the AIDS crisis — back into the national conversation, but the chorus of condemnation coming variously from journalists and critics, art museum associations, and even The New York Times editorial page, has helped to do just that.

Additionally, Wojnarowicz’s piece, which was uploaded to Vimeo by his estate and New York’s PPOW Gallery soon after it had been taken down in Washington, D.C., has undoubtedly been seen by more viewers in the past month than it had at the Smithsonian, or perhaps even in past installations (as of writing this column, the uploaded version has received more than 18,000 views).

This will probably continue to be the case as more galleries and museums across the country, in an impressive show of institutional solidarity, screen and/or install A Fire In My Belly. Locally, SF Camerawork and Yerba Buena Center for the Arts held screenings earlier this month. Southern Exposure will continue to show the piece through mid-February, and SFMOMA is scheduled to screen the full-length version of the video in early January.

While I agree with Modern Art Notes’ Tyler Green that SFMOMA’s commitment to screen A Fire in My Belly is “a turning point” in this whole debacle (New York’s four biggest art museums have remained silent on the matter), I find his characterization of SFMOMA as “America’s most conservative, play-it-safe modern-and-contemporary art museum” a bit harsh. Certainly, this year’s recently revealed SECA winners — three of whom, it must be noted, have been past Goldie recipients, including 2010 winner Ruth Laskey — attest to the fact that, for every groaner of an exhibit (“How Wine Became Modern,” anyone?), SFMOMA is also committed to supporting artists whose work cannot be dismissed as “play-it-safe.” For starters, the memory drawings of Colter Jacobson, one of this year’s SECA winners, certainly fall along the continuum of queer portraiture displayed in “Hide/Seek.”

This is not to encourage wishful thinking. While it’s hard to imagine a San Francisco art institution doing something along the lines of the Smithsonian, I don’t think anyone expected a reignition of decades-old culture wars, let alone in the very city where the Corcoran Gallery infamously canceled a Robert Mapplethorpe exhibit in 1989. The shorter our cultural memory, it seems, the greater is our propensity to repeat the lowest moments of our history.

So, over the past few weeks, I’ve been going over the works, exhibits, and events that I was thrilled did happen here, all glorious reclamations of our Convention and Visitors Bureau’s tagline, “Only in San Francisco.” Here is an in no way complete rundown of some of the art I didn’t cover in this column for a variety of reasons (scheduling conflicts, in-the-moment preference, critical laxity), save for the works themselves.

 

L@TE, BERKELEY ART MUSEUM, MOST FRIDAY NIGHTS

Turning staid-by-day museums into hip nightspots for hip young folks has been the hip thing for institutions to do for some time now. Thankfully, the Berkeley Art Museum knows how to do it right. Skip the catered canapés and light show, and focus on programming that is truly varied and more often than not, locally-minded — from Terry Riley celebrating his 75th to Xiu Xiu frontman Jamie Stewart improvising film soundtracks, from performance artist Kalup Linzy singing dirty love songs to outré Mexican B cinema— all for next to nothing.

 

CARINA BAUMANN, UNTITLED (2) (2008-09), 2ND FLOOR PROJECTS, JAN.–FEB.

At first I couldn’t see the woman’s face in Carina Baumann’s Untitled (2). I stared into the slate-like surface (actually, translucent white film developed on aluminum), incrementally adjusting my height, until the blackness stared back. The effect was not one of shock, as with the mirrors at the end of Disney’s Haunted Mansion ride, in which the holographic undead crowd in with your reflection. Baumann’s art asks for patience and slow adjustment, and in return, regifts your sense of sight.

 

“SUGGESTIONS OF A LIFE BEING LIVED,” SF CAMERAWORK, SEPT.–OCT.

Perhaps most germane to the issues about queerness, identity politics, and representation now being raised (again) by Wojnarowicz-gate and the “Hide/Seek” exhibit, this group show put together by Chicago-based curator Danny Orendorff and SF native Adrienne Skye Roberts took “queerness” out into the desert, helped it cast off the much-tattered coat of identity politics, and asked a group of artists, activists, and filmmakers to record its unfettered visions of things to come (many of which, as the resulting work testified to, are being lived out right now).

 

MATT LIPPS, “HOME,” SILVERMAN GALLERY, APRIL-JUNE; R.H. QUAYTMAN, “NEW WORK,” SFMOMA, THROUGH JAN. 16, 2011

Although Matt Lipps is a photographer and R.H. Quaytman is a painter, they tweak their respective mediums in these unrelated shows to arrive at a similar kind of flat sculpture, which flickers between abstract prettiness and representational heavy-lifting. Lipps’ densely layered photographs of assemblages — in which variously colored photographs of domestic interiors, cut into facets and taped back together to form the original image, become backdrops for cut-out reproductions of Ansel Adams landscapes — collapse foreground and background, personal space and photographic history. Quaytman, working in dialogue with the poetry of Jack Spicer and SFMOMA’s photo archive, silk-screens images from the museum’s holdings onto beveled, wooden panels of various sizes, augmenting them with flashes of Easter eggs-like color and glittering crushed glass.

 

ERIK SCOLLON, “THE URGE,” ROMER YOUNG (FORMERLY PING PONG), JULY–AUG.

Although nothing will top his porcelain casts of assholes that littered Ping Pong Gallery like so many discarded sand dollars for the 2009 group show “Live and Direct,” Eric Scollon’s more recent solo exhibit at the gallery, “The Urge,” continued to queer form and function. The 50 or so small porcelain works, painted in the blue and white style of Dutch Delftware and arranged in pun-laden groupings, smartly played off ceramics’ dual cultural status as both a “fine art” and kitsch object, while throwing shade at modern art’s conflicted relationship to ornament. Speaking of which, if only I had a Scollon for my tree.

 

ANDY DIAZ HOPE, “INFINITE MORTAL,” CATHARINE CLARK GALLERY, THROUGH JAN. 1, 2011

Diaz Hope’s dazzling sculptures owe as much to his engineering background as to, as he puts it in an e-mail, a “revisiting of childhood thoughts about mortality and infinity.” Their mirrored, crystalline exteriors yell “Gaga!” but once immersed in their kaleidoscopic guts, they are, much like Yayoi Kusama’s infinity boxes, meditation chambers built from carnival ride components. Simply beautiful stuff.

Appetite: Last minute foodie gifts

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I’ve shared with you come of my recommended gifts for foodies and for cocktailians, but for those still searching for presents that appeal to the palate, here are some more.

SAM ADAMS INFINIUM:  There are many who would be more jazzed to toast in the new year with a fine beer rather than champagne. What if there was a drink that combined the best elements of both? Venerable Sam Adams comes out with a special holiday brew every year, but this year’s is unique. Infinium ($19.99) released this month as a two-year collaboration between Sam Adams brewer/founder Jim Koch and Dr. Josef Schrädler of Weihenstephan Brewery in Germany. It’s the first new German beer style created under the Reinheitsgebot in over a hundred years (sometimes called the German Beer Purity Law, limiting the production of beer to four ingredients – water, barely, hops, yeast). While this beer sticks to Reinheitsgebot standards, it pushes boundaries with an acidic, bubbly profile. It’s dry and tart like a champagne, malty, rich as a beer, bracing at 10.3% alcohol by volume. You can find it at many local specialty beer stores.

PURE DARK CHOCOLATE POP-UP SHOP: In the true spirit of last minute gifts, Pure Dark, a popular new New York artisan chocolate line, heads West for the first time with a pop-up shop opening December 22nd at 1775 Union Street (at the corner of Octavia). With plans to remain open until at least March 2011, they’ll sell their chocolates (slabs, bark, rounds), chocolate-dipped fruits and nuts, cocoa nibs for cooking, and holiday gift sets, including samplers. Their product has a global/roots feel, whether in gift packaging of burlap sacks or hand-woven African baskets, or in three cacao “levels”: Striking (level 1 – 60% cacao), Serious (level 2 – 70%), Stunning (level three – 80%). Opt for plain dark or go for chocolate laced with the likes of caramelized nibs, mango, cherries, macadamia nuts. This is chocolate for the hardcore: earthy, intense, robust in flavor, rustically modern in it’s rugged slabs.

HAPPY GIRL KITCHEN: Central Coast-based Happy Girl Kitchen is one of those special, family-run companies both current and vintage in their approach to canning and preserving foods from their farm. Simple packaging appeals but the real joy is the quality and taste of products from owners Todd and Jordan Champagne. A jar of Happy Girl ($5-10) is a fine representation of the boundless wealth of California produce for family or friends further afield. Happy Girl’s pickles please the pickle-obsessed. But venture beyond with spicy carrots or pickled beets, lush jams, crushed heirloom tomatoes, and seasonal offerings like preserved Bing cherries. There’s convenient samplers ($37-$43) to give a range. Find Happy Girl at the Ferry Plaza Farmers Market or order online.

ZAGAT’S SMARTBOX: TABLE FOR TWO: I’ve been a Zagat member for years. Though some bemoan their lists not being the most up-to-date, paid memberships weed out some of the yahoos you get posting “reviews” on free-for-all sites (plus I like to feverishly mark up their books with my own notes). Recently landed on my desk? Zagat Smartbox, which operates as choose-your-own-dining experience or a $99 gift card in a box. A booklet details 39 eligible Bay Area restaurants and what each offers with the card: all include at least three courses for two people, some offer four or add on drinks. For one who dines out as much as I do, I’d prefer more restaurants and no menu limitations (some have them, some do not). But for the indecisive, or to give your recipient a range of options, Smartbox narrows down and even highlights under-the-radar gems locals would do well to visit, like Saha, Albona Ristorante, Matterhorn, or Lolo. There’s also Bay Area restaurants such as the winning Central Market in Petaluma, or Camino and Mezze in Oakland. P.S. There’s a Smartbox for NY, LA, Chicago and DC.

–Subscribe to Virgina’s twice monthly newsletter, The Perfect Spot

Year in Music: The Soft Moon’s Top 10 Albums of 2010 (Reissue-Style)

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Omar Khorshid, Guitar El Chark
Niagara, Niagara
Congregacion, Viene
Neu! vinyl box set
Franco Battiato, Fetus
Iron Curtain, “Terror Story”/”Anorexia” 7-inch
Can, Future Days
Brain Ticket, Cottonwoodhill
Chrome, Alien Soundtracks
Fabulous Diamonds, Fabulous Diamonds II

Video for “Parallels” by The Soft Moon:

Tiny Bones breaks out

41

Elise-Marie Franklin, a.k.a. Tiny Bones, breezes into Four Barrel Coffee in the Mission, turning several heads in her wake, and it’s like, “Wow, dayum, star power!” (She declines a cup of slow-drip because, “I have so much natural energy, I’d probably explode.” I can see that.)

The gorgeous young singer and musician looks destined to be the first pop star graduate of San Francisco’s storied hardcore electro scene, utilizing her various talents to combine underground and mainstream elements into a bewitching and surprisingly unique style. Together with her partner in music, local fameball Topher Lafata, a.k.a. Gold Chains, she’s finally started releasing tracks on their label New California Music (www.newcaliforniamusic.com) after a long gestation period.

“We’ve been working for three years on all of this and have dozens of songs ready to go, but we wanted everything to be just right — the music, the website, the label. It’s fantastic, because now we can do things our own way.”

Tiny Bones spent her childhood in Carmel and France, training from an early age in vocal techniques and multiple instruments. But she came of punk-rock age in the famous pit of Berkeley’s 924 Gilman and, later, the electro-styley, camera-ready world of club Blow Up. Add to all that a music appreciation that runs from the Ronettes to Eazy-E (with stops at Deniece Williams and Depeche Mode), and you’ve got a powerhouse of influences.

“I love so many different kinds of music that for me it’s less about the style than the fact that something’s authentic,” she told me. “I aim for that authenticity with my own music — I put all of myself into my songs and performance, I don’t believe in holding back.”

That perfect lack of restraint comes through in her stage persona, which mixes sexiness (“Sexuality is huge in my life, and I don’t shy away from it”) and smarts (Tiny Bones is a psychology grad student at UC Berkeley). Those two sides meld to humorous-hot effect in the video for her first single, a slow-building, tropical-tinged banger called “Heat.” It starts in a boardroom, with Tiny Bones setting feminist boundaries for her marketing campaign — no bikini-clad sexploitation, no oil, no fans in the hair — and then demolishing those boundaries in a tight gold tube top, owning her hotness and slaying the fanboys.

Tiny Bones has just released her second track, “Parley,” an epic hardcore electro breakup-party ballad that expertly hits an aching sweet spot between build and release around the two-minute mark and holds you there for the rest of the six-minute track. It’s pretty breathtaking in its ballsiness, and the video is a love letter to San Francisco, with guest spots from nightlife stars HOTTUB, the Tenderlions, Monistat, Merkeley???, Richie Panic, and more.

Tiny Bones is going to soon bring that San Fran ballsiness to the world, with a tour in the works, a full album, and a lot more partying (and studying). “This has always been my dream, to be a singer and make people happy and maybe inspire someone. Now I’m ready to go for it.”

UM alert!

1

le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS While we waited for our tacos, I crammed pickled jalapeños, carrots, and onions into a cup to take to the bar with us. Coach was riffling through the pile of rolled up complimentary calendars on the shelf above, muttering, “Hot babes hot babes hot babes.”

“What are you doing?” I said.

“Do you need a calendar?”

I thought: new year new year new year. “Yes,” I said. More than ever, I needed a calendar. You only get one picture with this kind; that’s why they’re free. I didn’t care about the pic. It was the new number I wanted, 2011, and all those clean, square, tear-away one-through-31s.

“Well,” Coach said, “do you want a hot babe, or the Virgin Mary?”

The ease with which I made my decision surprised me. I mean, 365 days is a lot of days to look at a picture. Albeit I intend to do other things as well, next year. “Virgin Mary,” I said.

And that was that. Well, when I got home four hours later, not so much drunk as oniony, and unrolled my Taqueria Virgin on the kitchen table, I was surprised to find that the Mother of God looked mighty fine in her own right. She wasn’t by any stretch a hot babe, like many of the angels surrounding and adoring her. But she seemed a little bored, bemused, and all-in-all like someone I might like to kiss.

Whether this makes me Catholic or a lesbian I don’t know, but anyway this ends the first part of the story.

The second part takes place next afternoon. I had four hours to kill between gigs, and thought I would spend at least most of that time contemplating barbecue. There’s this new one in Alameda, see, not so awfully far from where Boink and Popeye live.

It was the meat of the afternoon, and I wasn’t particularly hungry except that I’m always pretty hungry. So instead of erring on the side of lunch, I erred on the side of dinner. Check it out: $13-fucking-75 for pulled pork, comes with two sides and cornbread. I figured I would probably end up taking half of it home, making two meals out of it, or — dare I dream — three.

I had a book. It’s a pretty comfortable place, not crowded at all, midafternoon on a weekday, two TVs showing sports talk and highlights. Sweet tea refills. I took off my coat and scarf and made myself comfortable.

The sweet tea came. It was barely sweet at all.

Then the food. “I hope you’re hungry!” the waitressperson said on her way to my table. She said this with a knowing smile, which I took at first to be in my best interest.

“Oh, I’m hungry all right,” I said. “I might need a takeout container,” I added, for the sake of realism, “but I’m hungry.”

“Good,” she said, proudly sliding my plate before me.

For a moment I just stared. My brain went fuzzy, and then I wanted to cry. “Um,” I managed to sort of say. Then, when I found my vocabulary again, “What is this on my pork?”

First of all, it was the smallest portion of pork I have ever seen. Most place have sandwiches with twice as much meat on them as this dinner did. More urgently, however … what little meat there was snowcapped in an entirely creepy, pinkish creamy thing.

Now I’ve given a lot of benefits of a lot of doubts to a lot of restaurants in my day, but, as you may know, there is one thing I can neither tolerate nor forgive, and that is um … well, it’s UM: Unannounced Mayonnaise. You learn to ask, with sandwiches, salads, and even sushi. But … barbecue?

Sure enough, that’s what it was, a mixture of barbecue sauce and (gag, puke, spit) mayo, thus the pink. Oh, they remade my plate for me, but it came back with even less pork than before. The greens were okay, the fried okra was good, and their barbecue sauces were great, but the cornbread muffin was inedibly dry from either overcooking or staleness, or both.

I couldn’t fathom, let alone eat, the cornbread, but otherwise cleaned my plate. Counting tea and tip, it was a $20 snack. At my new least-favorite restaurant. *

BONNIE’S SOUTHERN STYLE BBQ

Mon.–Thu. 11 a.m.–9 p.m.; Fri. 11 a.m.–10 p.m.;

Sat. 9 a.m.–10 p.m.; Sun. 9 a.m.–9 p.m.

1513 Park., Alameda

(510) 523-7227

MC,V

No alcohol

Scott Hammel’s street treats

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One of the beauties of living in weirdo town is that the streets can always surprise you. The other day, I went out for a mushroom taco and came back with a bag of sparkly fabric from an artist collective’s yard sale on lower Divisadero. I’m sure something attractive will happen with that bag, but after subsequently stumbling into Scott Hammel‘s toy art show in Mini Bar (through Jan. 30), I can’t help but wonder: what would have happened if my plastic sack was instead a full trash bag of plastic kids toys, cigarette butts, and the odd syringe?

Besides the possibility of contagion, of course. But real talk, even in the heady first days of a blood-borne pathogen, I still wouldn’t have come up with stuff this cool. Hammel’s art looks like the productions of an adult Sid from Toy Story, if Sid had gotten fabulous and started doing LSD.

Plus, seasonal! The head of a retro plastic elf pokes unsettlingly from a gold wall sconse, teddy bears with guns drip from their ornament hooks and a wreath that I’d hang on my front door in a minute if it wouldn’t be covetously snatched by a fellow #24 bus-waiter-forer adorn Mini Bar’s back eyrie room like jars of rhinestone-speckled candy. Gleaming light fixtures made from orange prescription pill bottles and a Donald Duck diorama in which he inspects wide-eyed the drug paraphernalia around him. It’s all really colorful and delicious and freaky, love. 

 After picking up aforementioned trash bag ‘o’ fun on the corner of Jones and Eddy, the photographer-visual artist started to see the urban life cocktail in contained as a metaphor for his own strut through his TL home. “The first piece I created was titled “Living in the Tenderloin,” which featured a tiny hush puppy figurine snuggled in a nest of window glass, cigarette butts, and rusted beads, and nails,” says Hammel in our email exchange about the installation.

“The best describing word for my style and aesthetic would be brazen. This might have something to do with living in the Tenderloin, where being brazen can sometimes help shield me from the oddities of life here,” he confirms. The glue gun art he creates (that ranges from affordable detritus tree ornaments to less-so chaotic balls ‘o’ toy that drape strands of pearl to the floor below) “helps me find comfort and reliance in a pretty disturbingly creepy place.”

Which, y’know, is high praise for one’s own neighborhood — but it’s clear that Hammel has a soft spot for SF’s most maligned ‘hood. A stunning video clip called My Life in a Day he filmed tracks his own perspective whilst making his merry way through late awakenings, the SF Party store, and aesthetically motivated inspections of the random pieces of street beauty in the neighborhood, like a stand of orange flowers or particularly prettily-bedecked traffic sign. 

A nice affirmation of the reason why we all pay out our ass for housing in these parts: these streets give back in a big way.

 

“Exhibit by Scott Hammel”

Now through Jan. 30

Mini Bar

837 Divisadero, SF

(415) 525-3565

www.scotterpop.com

 

The mayoral roulette

23

At the San Francisco Tomorrow holiday party Dec. 8th, David Chiu, Dennis Herrera, John Rizzo, Jake McGoldrick and a host of others who I’ve seen at these events for at least the past few years were doing their usual schmoozing — when Ross Mirkarimi, a former SFT board member, showed up with …. Art Agnos. I haven’t seen the former mayor at an SFT event since … I don’t know. Since a long long time ago.


Agnos made a short speech and talked about all of the rising stars in the San Francisco progressive movement — Mirkarimi, Chiu, Rizzo, David Campos, Eric Mar, John Avalos … and it was all very nice and low key. But there was a message in his appearance, in his connection with Mirkarimi, and even in the overall tone of his remarks, which amounts to this:


If the supervisors have trouble finding a progressive who can get six votes — and if they want an old hand, someone who has been through a brutal recession as mayor of San Francisco and dealt with awful budgets and nasty politics, someone who will serve for a year and then walk away — Agnos is open to being asked.


Well, maybe a little more than open to being asked. I wouldn’t say he’s actively, publicly campaiging for the job, but he has met with most of the supervisors, and dropped them all a 13-page memo listing all of his accomplishments, and his supporters (maybe his emissaries) are making the rounds and making the case for Agnos. Which amounts to this:


None of the progressives now more-or-less openly in the mix (Campos, Chiu, Mirkarimi, even Aaron Peskin) can realistically take on all the sacred cows (esp. police and fire), make a bunch of other cuts, and push for all sorts of revenue increases — and at the same time try to run for re-election in November (when the tax hikes would be on the ballot). The only way to do “what needs to be done” is to put in a progressive caretaker who can then take the political heat for the tough decisions — and help set up a campaign for another progressive in November.


I’m not sure I entirely agree — the right person, with the right leadership and agenda, could set up a five-year plan for fiscal stability, launch year one immediately and tell the public that he/she needs a full term to finish the job. But it’s true that it will be tough — and it’s also true that none of the obvious alternatives have ever run citywide.


If Tom Ammiano were interested, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. Tom has run citywide numerous times (for School Board, pre-district elections supervisor and mayor), has been elected by half the city (to the Assembly), and has the credibility to deal with the budget crisis and still win in November. But he’s not, and we have to respect that.


Right now, the progressives can’t seem to unite on a candidate. None of the current board members has six votes today. And Campos, Chiu, Mirkarimi and everyone else in the game knows full well how hard it will be to win in November, particularly against State Sen. Leland Yee, who will be a formidable candidate, and possibly City Attorney Dennis Herrera (who has won citywide), State Sen. Mark Leno (who is popular all over town) and others.


So if a couple rounds pass and there’s no winner, the “progressive caretaker” concept will be in play. It’s possible Mirkarimi would give up his seat two years early and take that job; it’s likely Peskin would agree to serve one year and then step down. But it’s also possible that neither scenario works out — at which point Sheriff Mike Hennessey and Agnos will be in play.


(I hear through the grapevine that Willie Brown is nosing around, too — and let’s remember that he became Assembly speaker by cutting a deal with the Republicans.)


Hennessey’s got a strong progressive record, but has never had to deal with anything remotely as awful as what the next mayor will face. So Agnos backers will make the case that their guy has the experience and gravitas to pull it off.


Given all of that, let me say a couple of things about Agnos, since I was around and watching City Hall when he was mayor (and some of the people who will be voting on this weren’t.)


Art’s a mixture. He was a great progressive member of the state Assembly. When he ran for mayor, we backed him strongly; he seemed to be the great progressive hope. Then his long list of wonderful promises ran into the buzz saw of a deep recession — and made things much worse with his arrogant, imperious style. His first major act in office was to sign a set of contracts that gave away the store to PG&E. He never lifted a finger for public power. And it quickly became clear that he wasn’t a fan of open government or public process. We were all supposed to “Trust in Art” and shut up if we didn’t like it.


That’s why — despite what was at the time and is in retrospect a pretty darn progressive record, a lot of solid accomplishments and absolutly no hint of corruption or scandal — the progressives just weren’t all that excited about his re-election. So he lost to Frank Jordan, who was way worse.


The thing is, Agnos these days is a lot more mellow. He’s 72, knows he’s not going anywhere else in politics, and has essentially admitted to me that he made a lot of mistakes, and his arrogance and closed-door attitude were top on the list. A reformed Agnos — willing to serve with a degree of humility and an acceptance that progressive politics in this town demands inclusiveness, and that even though he’s a former mayor, he’s not by definition the most important person in any room he walks into — would present an interesting option.


Of course, we still don’t know exactly where he would be on the issues, since, like Chiu, he hasn’t even publicly called himself a candidate for the job. I still think anyone who is a serious contender ought to be willing to appear before the supervisors and answer questions.


We all know where to start: What’s your plan for raising a quarter billion dollars in new revenue in 2011?    

Class of 2010: Jane Kim

7

steve@sfbg.com

Despite fears that a candidate backed by downtown could replace firebrand progressive leader Sup. Chris Daly in District 6, in the end it was the two progressive candidates — Jane Kim and Debra Walker — who finished far in front of the large pack of candidates, with Kim winning the race. And she thinks that says something about how the progressive movement has matured.

“To have the two leading candidates be progressives says a lot about the progressive political community,” Kim said. “The race was really between Debra and me in end.”

Kim, a 33-year-old attorney and the outgoing president of the San Francisco Board of Education, has been active in progressive politics in San Francisco for many years, from doing community organizing with the Chinatown Community Development Center to running the short-lived San Francisco People’s Organization, which Daly helped create.

Yet part of her campaign strategy, and the message that she’s sending in the wake of an election that divided the progressive community, focuses on issues and themes that are more common to political moderates: job creation, clean streets, public safety, and neighborhood services.

“I think it’s important for progressives to cross over, and I don’t think it should be viewed as selling out,” Kim told us. “Progressives need to do a good job at maintaining voters’ faith in the progressives’ ability to lead.”

In addition to courting progressive groups and voters, Kim’s campaign aggressively targeted residents of the residential condo towers in Rincon Hill and Eastern SoMa, voters who are generally more affluent and newer to San Francisco than the typical progressive constituencies.

“It’s a lot of new residents who don’t feel like they’re a part of any political faction and they’re really open,” Kim said. “People just want to see that things are better. They want the streets to be clean and safe.”

With a new mayor and new blood on the Board of Supervisors, Kim said this is an important political moment for San Francisco, “a huge opportunity” to redefine San Francisco politics in the wake of Mayor Gavin Newsom and progressive supervisors such as Aaron Peskin, Matt Gonzalez, Tom Ammiano, and Daly.

“The Class of 2000 was able to show how progressive we can be with policy. They really pushed the envelope,” Kim said, citing new worker and tenant protections and programs such as Healthy San Francisco. Now, she said, the challenge for progressives in the Classes of 2010 and 2008 is to show that they can provide effective leadership in realms like public safety and economic development. “If we’re able to lead on those two issues, it would really firm up our leadership of the city,” Kim said, noting that it would also affect the dynamics of next year’s mayor’s race.

While Kim didn’t go into detail about how she intends to deal with what she says is the biggest challenge facing the new board — a budget deficit of $700 million over two years, coming at a time when all the easy cuts have already been made in recent years — she said the city needs to be aggressive in boosting the local economy and ensuring San Franciscans get most city contracts.

“We need to figure out how we can partner with small business to create a diversity of jobs in San Francisco,” she said, noting that the average San Franciscan has more faith in the moderates’ ability to create jobs, something that progressives need to address. But how can she help break the grip that the conservative San Francisco Chamber of Commerce has on small businesses?

“Part of the problem is that small businesses aren’t organized,” Kim said, noting how that hurt Sup. David Chiu’s ability to win support this year for his business tax reform measure that would have helped most small businesses and made some large corporations pay more taxes. “They’re busy running their businesses and they don’t have the time to look at the details, so they just read the briefing of the Chamber of Commerce.”

Kim said she respects the leadership role Daly has played in progressive politics and that she’d “like to be part of the moral compass of the Board of Supervisors.” But she also said that Daly’s sometimes abrasive style unnecessarily hardened the opposition of moderates to important progressive issues.

“He made it harder to talk about affordable housing,” Kim said, noting that the city’s dearth of affordable housing should be an issue that’s important to middle class voters, noting that it includes housing for people who earn up to 120 percent of the median income for the region. But after Daly hammered on the issue, “It was like a bad word coming out, and people would turn off to the issue.”

But she thinks it’s a fixable problem if she and her allies do the hard work, an ability they demonstrated this year by defeating Walker, who had been running for the seat for years and lining up all the key endorsements. “Voters do respond to campaigns that work really hard, and that bodes well for progressives,” Kim said, noting that she intends to reach out to Walker’s supporters. “I don’t think I can be successful as a supervisor if I don’t work with all the camps in the progressive community.”

Stage Listings

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Stage listings are compiled by Guardian staff. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks. For complete listings, see www.sfbg.com.

THEATER

OPENING

Joyful Noise: A Gospel Celebration of Christmas Southside Theater, Fort Mason Center; 345-7575, www.LHTSF.org. $25-50. Previews Fri/10, 8pm. Opens Sat/11, 8pm. Call for dates and times. Through Dec 31. Lorraine Hansberry Theatre presents a rechristened version of their Black Nativity production.

Siddhartha, the Bright Path The Marsh Studio Theater, 1074 Valencia; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $15-35. Previews Sat/11-Sun/12, 3pm; Thurs/16, 7:30pm. Opens Dec 17, 7:30pm. Call for dates and times. Through Jan 9. Marsh Youth Theater presents a holiday celebration, directed by Lisa Quoresimo.

BAY AREA

Arabian Nights Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Thrust Stage, 2025 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2549, www.berkeleyrep.org. $34-73. Opens Sat/11, 8pm. Call for dates and times. Through Dec 30. Tony-winning Mary Zimmerman’s production makes a return to Berkeley Rep.

A Christmas Carol Center REPertory Company, 1601 Civic Drive, Walnut Creek; (925) 943-7469, www.centerREP.org. Previews Thurs/9, 8pm; Fri/10, 11am and 7:30pm. Opens Sat/11, 2pm and 7:30pm. Call for dates and times. Through Dec 19.Center REP presents the holiday classic.

ONGOING

Absolutely San Francisco Phoenix Theater Annex, 414 Mason, 4th floor; 433-1235, www.absolutelysanfrancisco.com. $28. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 18. Karen Hirst’s one-person musical about lost love.

Babes in Arms Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson; 255-8207, www.42ndstmoon.org. $24-44. Wed, 7pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 6pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Dec 19. 42nd Street Moon presents John Guare’s adaptation of the musical by Rodgers and Hart.

Christmas in Hell: The Real and True Story About the Guys Who Saved Christmas Dark Room Theater, 2263 Mission; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $20. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 18. An original holiday play, written and directed by Jim Fourniadis.

Caligari Studio 385, 385A Eighth St; www.brownpapertickets.com. $10-30. Fri, 8pm. Through Fri/10. Promising new company HurlyBurly stages its adaptation of the 1920 German expressionist film The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari in a Soma bondage club with productive and not-so-productive results. Production values are enjoyably thoughtful (including lighting designer Amanda Ortmayer’s moody use of small portable lights, laser pointers, and snatches of pure, delicious darkness) as the audience mills around a cement room in which actors stand or lie frozen, and in some cases encased, like some macabre wax museum. Daniel Korth’s script makes up in clever, fluid dialogue what it can lack in narrative coherence. But the doom-clouded storyline, featuring a fated romance between an ardent young man (a likeable Eddie Barol) and his somewhat aloof object of desire (a nicely detached yet powerful Shay Wisniewski), is familiar enough in sporadic outline that this isn’t a big deal. The play demands a certain over-the-top performance style, however, which few of co-directors Korth and Mikka Bonel’s otherwise capable actors really carry off (Gerri Lawlor is one of the more notable exceptions). The freedom to walk around the space as action unfolds on surrounding stages (or inaction in cages) is a visual and atmospheric plus. The production’s real limit is that its neo-expressionist dark-carnival invention comes across at times as too borrowed, as when a late-era Tom Waits song is heard. At least it wasn’t one from The Black Rider. (Avila)

Cavalia: A Magical Encounter Between Horse and Man White Big Top, adjacent to AT&T Park; www.cavalia.net. $39.50-239.50. Check website for shows and times. Through Sun/12. Over 100 performers, including 50 horses, take the stage in this circus-like show from Montreal.

Christian Cagigal’s Obscura: A Magic Show EXIT Cafe, 156 Eddy; 1-800-838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $15-25. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 18. Magician Christian Cagigal presents a mix of magic, fairy tales, and dark fables.

Cinderella African American Art & Culture Complex, 762 Fulton; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $10-30. Fri/8pm; Sat, 3 and 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Dec 19. African-American Shakespeare Company presents the classic fairytale, starring Velina Brown.

Cora Values’ Christmas Corral Exit Cafe, 156 Eddy; 673-3847, www.brownpapertickets.com. $15-25. Fri-Sat, 8:30pm. Through Sat/11. There are Christmas Carol’s and then there are Christmas Carol’s. There are the no-expenses spared varieties with clever rigging and fabulous costumes and larger-than-life characterizations of those classic Christmastide archetypes—the lonely bastard, the beatific poor man, the lovable child. There are the more modest productions, community theatre affairs, with A-for-effort, fun-for-the-whole-family, casual appeal. And then there’s the Cora Values treatment, which throws the whole silly notion of family togetherness out the window and instead throws a party for the orphans of the holiday season—the bah-humbuggers and true unbelievers. In this rock-bottom budget “illiterary

adaptation” of Dickens’ classic in “the most authentic form we know how” a ragtag crew from the Gas ‘N’ Gulp in Rectal, Texas, bumble through a singular interpretation of the tale, punctuated by original comic songs penned by Cora (Sean Owens) and Emmett Cornpike (Don Seaver). Sticklers for textual authenticity or political correctness may cringe at the chorus of the solo song by Tiny Tim (Amanda Ortmayer), “This Won’t Be Another Lame Holiday,” but Dickens wrote a few head-scratching lines himself. Take this description of Marley’s face appearing in Scrooge’s doorknocker: “It&ldots;had a dismal light about it, like a bad lobster in a dark cellar.” “Charles Dickens’ immortal text” Cora remarks dryly. You said it sister. (Gluckstern)

Dirty Little Showtunes! A Parody Musical Revue New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $24-40. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 16. Tom Orr’s adults-only holiday show returns, with direction by F. Allen Sawyer and musical direction by Scrumbly Koldewyn.

Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes CounterPULSE, 1310 Mission; www.ticketfly.com. $25. Thurs-Sat, 7 and 9pm. Through Dec 23. Heklina, Cookie Dough, Matthew Martin, and Pollo Del Mar return with their stage tribute to the sitcom.

The Lion in Winter Actors Theatre, 855 Bush; 345-1287, www.ticketweb.com. $26-38. Wed-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 18. Actors Theatre of SF presents James Goldman’s play of palace intrigue.

Match Royce Gallery, 2901 Mariposa; 1-866-811-4111, www.matchonstage.com. $12-28. Thurs-Sun, 8pm. Through Dec 18. Expression Productions presents Stephen Belber’s new suspense drama.

The Oddman Family Christwanzaakuh Spectactular! Exit Stage Left, 156 Eddy; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 18. Guerrilla Rep and Beards Beards Beards present a new twisted musical farce.

Party of 2 – The New Mating Musical Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; (800) 838-3006, www.partyof2themusical.com. $27-29. Sun, 3pm. Open-ended. A musical about relationships by Shopping! The Musical author Morris Bobrow.

*Pearls Over Shanghai Thrillpeddlers’ Hypnodrome, 575 Tenth St; 1-800-838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $30-69. Sat, 8pm. Through April 9. Thrillpeddlers’ acclaimed production of the Cockettes musical continues its successful run.

A Perfect Ganesh New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $22-40. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Dec 19. New Conservatory Theatre Center presents the Terrence McNally play, directed by Arturo Catricala.

Ruth and the Sea Stage Werx Theatre, 533 Sutter; www.ruthandthesea.com. $18-24. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 18. Wily West Productions presents Gwyneth Richards in a kooky holiday show, directed by Stuart Bousel.

Shrek The Musical Orpheum Theatre, 1192 Market; (888) SHN-1799, www.shnsf.com. $30-99. Tues, 8pm, Wed, 2 and 8pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2pm (no performances Dec 24, Dec 25, and Dec 31). Through Jan 2. Eric Petersen stars in the stage version of the animated blockbuster.

A Tale of Two Genres SF Playhouse, Stage Two, 533 Sutter; www.un-scripted.com. $10-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 3pm; additional shows Dec 20-23). Through Dec 23. Un-Scripted Theater Company performs an improvised musical in the style of Charles Dickens.

The Tempest Exit on Taylor, 277 Taylor; 1-800-838-3006, www.cuttingball.com. $15-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Dec 19. In Cutting Ball’s latest foray into Shakespearean realms, three entangled subplots and eleven characters are enacted by just three actors, in order to explore the relationships between the principle characters by representing their internal characteristics through the actions of the more minor roles. Set on an enchanted island (or, in Cutting Ball’s interpretation, at the bottom of a swimming pool) The Tempest begins with stormy weather, but quickly grows into a full-blown hurricane of shipwrecked nobles, nymphs, and drunks, plus the turbulent awakenings of a teenage daughter’s libido, and the rumblings of her over-protective papa. The most effective dual-character is Caitlyn Louchard’s Miranda-Ariel, as both characters are quite under the stern control of Prospero (David Sinaiko) and equally deserving of release. Less affecting yet somehow equally congruous is Sinaiko’s comic turn as the buffoonish Stephano, who stumbles through the forest in his boxer shorts, yet somehow maintains an air of mock dignity that does parallel Prospero’s. Donell Hill’s Caliban-Ferdinand endures his lust-love for Miranda and servitude to Prospero alternating between raw physicality and social ineptness. But since “The Tempest” is littered with characters even more minor, the game cast is stretched too thinly to fully inhabit each, and the entire subplot involving King Alonzo, Gonzalo, and Antonio in particular suffers from this ambitious over-extension. (Gluckstern)

The Tender King Phoenix Theatre, 414 Mason, Sixth Flr; www.secondwindtheatre.com. $20-25. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Sat/11. The current firestorm over leaked diplomatic cables and exposed government lies and imperial machinations are nothing new in The Tender King. Second Wind’s debut of Bay Area playwright Ian Walker’s new drama takes audiences back to 1945, a critical period in the structuring of the postwar world as dominated ever since by the American Empire. Walker explores the tensions and contradictions attendant on the countdown to American global hegemony in three characters, two rooms, and one fateful decision. President Harry Truman (Brian O’Connor), newly ensconced in office after FDR’s death, sits drinking in a darkened room (mood-inducing lighting by Rob Siemens) as an ambitious young functionary named Will (Stephen Muterspaugh) arrives to get his John Hancock on the order to drop the new A Bomb on two Japanese cities. In shades of Schiller’s Mary Stuart, Truman delays and evades cunningly, filled with the exuberant knowledge and burden of power. Meanwhile, a semi-romantic, semi-sadistic relationship between Will and a French-German prostitute (Natalie Palan) unfolds in a parallel scene—a complex echo of the shock-doctrine advantage Will advocates to Truman in the face of a stunned and helpless European population. Directed by Walker, the production relies not ineffectively on heightened vernacular language and performances, although the latter while sturdy can feel more rote than in-the-moment, and the neat narrative framework and effervescent dialogue strays into formulaic conceits. Nevertheless, the play’s well-researched and articulated detail as well as forceful conviction make it both worthwhile and generally engaging—not to mention as politically au courant as anything on stage just now. (Avila)

The Velveteen Rabbit Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, Novellus Theater, 700 Howard; 978-2787, www.ybca.org. Call for dates and times. Through Sun/12. ODC/Dance presents Margery Williams’ holiday favorite.

BAY AREA

Becoming Julia Morgan Berkeley City Club, 2315 Durant, Berk; (510) 984-3864, www.brownpapertickets.com. $24-30. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 9. Janis Stevens stars in Belinda Taylor’s play about the trailblazing architect.

A Christmas Carol: The Musical Novato Theater Company Playhouse, 484 Ignacio, Novato; 863-4498, www.novatotheatercompany.org. $10-18. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Dec 17. Novato Theater Company presents a new adaptation of the holiday classic.

A Christmas Memory TheatreWorks at Lucie Stern Theatre, 1305 Middlefield, Palo Alto; (650) 463-1960, www.theatreworks.org. $19-67. Tues-Wed, 7:30pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm (alos Thurs/23, 2pm and Fri/24, 7pm). Through Dec 26. TheatreWorks presents the seasonal tale by Truman Capote.

East 14th – True Tales of a Reluctant Player The Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston Way, Berk; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Call for times. Through Dec 19. Don Reed’s one-man show continues its extended run.

Lemony Snicket’s The Composer is Dead Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Roda Theatre, 2015 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, www.berkeleyrep.org. Call for dates and times. Through Jan 15. Berkeley Rep premieres the new musical, written by Lemony Snicket, with music by Nathaniel Stookey.

Loveland The Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston Way, Berk; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Fri, 7pm; Sat, 8pm. Through Sat/11. Ann Randolph’s hit one-woman comic show continues its extended run.

Of the Earth – The Salt Plays: Part 2 Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby; (510) 841-6500, www.shotgunplayers.org. $17-30. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm (beginning Dec 19). Through Jan 30. Shotgun Players present the second half of writer and director Jon Tracy’s Odyssey-inspired tale, with music by Brendan West.

*The Play About the Naked Guy La Val’s Subterranean, 1834 Euclid, Berk; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $10-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 18. Impact Theatre presents an off-Broadway hit, written by David Bell and directed by Evren Odcikin.

The World’s Funniest Bubble Show The Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $8-50. Sun, 11am (also Dec 20-23, 11am and Dec 26-30, 11am). The Amazing Bubble Man’s show presents flying saucer bubbles and other wonders.

PERFORMANCE/DANCE

Club Chuckles Hemlock Tavern, 1131 Polk; 923-0925. Wed/8, 9pm. $7. Club Chuckles turns seven with standup by David Liebe Hart and others.

Comedy Returns to El Rio! El Rio, 3158 Mission; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. Mon/13, 8pm. $7-20. Lisa Gedulgig hosts a monthly comedy night.

Double-Wide White Trash Christmas Show Martuni’s, 4 Valencia; 241-0205, www.dragatmartunis.com. Sun/12, 7pm. $5. A holiday edition of the “Bijou” cabaret showcase.

FoolsFURY 12th Anniversary Gala Theater Artaud, 450 Florida; www.foolsfurygala.eventbrite.org. Sat/11, 7:30pm. $30-60. The local theater ensemble celebrates a birthday.

Forking II: A Merry Forking! Christmas Off-Market Theaters, 965 Mission; (800) 838-3006, www.pianofight.com. Call for dates and times (through Dec 30). PianoFight presents a holiday-themed choose-your-own-adventure play.

A Funny Night for Comedy Actors Theatre, 855 Bush; 345-1287, www.NatashaMuse.com. Sun/12, 7pm. Natasha Muse and Ryan Cronin host an evening of comedy.

Ironic/NOT Ironic! Viracocha, 998 Valencia; 374-7048, www.viracochasf.com. Thurs/9, 9pm. Harmon Leon performs.

Literary Death Match – Holiday Bloodbath Special Elbo Room, 647 Valencia; www.literarydeathmatch.com. Fri/10, 7pm. $7-10. An evening of yuletide literary mayhem.

Mischievous Maidens Christmas Skylark Bar, 3089 16th St; 621-9294. Fri/10, 8pm. Free. A Christmas-themed burlesque night.

Project. B. The Garage, 975 Howard; 518-1517, www.brownpapertickets.com. Fri/10-Sat/11, 8pm. $10-20. Tanya Bello’s company presents Triquetra, a work from this year.

Doug Stanhope Rickshaw Stop, 155 Fell; 861-2011, www.rickshawstop.com. Wed/10, 8pm. $20. The vulgar comedian hits the Bay.

Touring Cast of Shrek Theater 19, Pier 39; 273-1620, www.HelpIsOnTheWay.org. Mon/13, 7:30pm.$35-65. A one-night-only cabaret to raise funds for the Richmond/Ermet AIDS Foundation.

Trashina Cann The Garage, 975 Howard; 518-1517, www.brownpapertickets.com. Wed/8-Thurs/9, 8pm. $10-20. The company presents a new queer dance theater wok titled Legacy.

On the Cheap Listings

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On the Cheap listings are compiled by Caitlin Donohue. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

WEDNESDAY 8

k11 Craft Sale 2260 Adeline, Berk.; www.knitoneone.blogspot.com 10am-4pm, free. Awash in holiday shopping events? Us too. Let’s retire to this year-round knit and craft sale. This month gathers 12 creative souls who’d like to stuff your stockings – from cheery note cards, vintage-looking totes, bright dish towels, and more.

“This is Art! Live!” live cable access broadcast Steven Wolf Fine Arts, 2747A 19th St., SF; www.stevenwolffinearts.com. 5:30pm, free. A special viewing party for BAVC show “This is Art! Live!” will give participants a chance to get up all in the quirky program, which consists of home-made commercials, dramatic interludes, and thought-provoking queries like “why are women artists hot?” Weigh in, then stick around for a runway fashion show and libations.

THURSDAY 9

Golden Gate Park holiday tree lighting McLaren Lodge, Golden Gate Park, SF; www.sfrecpark.org. 5pm, free. Bundle up and head to the picturesque McLaren Lodge, the (Golden) gate-keeping chalet off of Stanyan, for the 81st annual lighting of the massive pine in front. The kids will be all rosy-cheeked and distracted by train rides, caroling, and a visit from the portly Claus himself.

FRIDAY 10

Lights on Market Street celebration Procession starts at 1119 Market; reception at The Luggage Store, 1007 Market, SF; www.sfartscommission.org. 5-7pm, free. The three light installations funded by Mid-Market’s recent $250,000 NEA grant ignite one by one tonight in a procession headed by members of Sixth Street’s Bayanihan Community Center, and their traditional Filipino parol lanterns. Come bedecked in your own culture’s style of illuminations and enjoy a reception after at community gallery The Luggage Store.

SATURDAY 11

Bazaar Bizarre Fort Mason Center, SF; www.bazaarbizarre.org. Noon-5pm (Also Sun/12 noon-6pm), free. The Boston-spawned crafteria makes its way across the country to bring Bay Area-ites its hearty dose of DIY communitarianism. Come for 150 booths worth of the city’s best hand-crafties and sate your browsing-induced hunger with a crème brûlée or taco from Off the Grid’s fabulous ambulatory food carts.

Creative Arts Craft & Book Fair Creative Arts Charter School, 1601 Turk, SF; (415) 749-3509, www.creativeartscharter.org. 10am-4pm, free. Throw some ducats towards your local student-centered K-8 school at their annual bazaar, home to handmade crafts and a little sustenance for your holiday season – hot soup, cider, and book readings by the Winter Fairy on the hour.

Glamazonia: The Uncanny Super Tranny Mission Comics and Art, 3520 20th St., SF; (415) 695-1545, www.missioncomicsandart.com. 7-10pm, free. Justin Hall reads from the solo comic book debut of his blonde beehived, body rockin’ super tranny. She’s got Superman in a trance! Bruce Lee’s down on his knees! He’s joined by a swath of other pulp fiction luminaries and oh yes, they’ll have copies for signing.

Hawaiian Holiday Craft and Bake Sale St. Patrick’s Parish Center, 409 Magnolia, Larkspur; 10am-4pm, free. Perhaps you are not destined for a beach-side lounge chair and awkward lei tan lines this winter. Undoubtedly, sweets, you’re not the only one. Also, you can get your plate lunch and island treats all the same at this 11th annual fundraiser for Hula On Productions — the snacks and crafts have been cooked up by members of the Halau Hula Na Pua O Ka La’akea, Hula On’s dance contingent.

Spark! Circus benefit show Vagabond Ballroom, 830 Isabella, Oakl.; (415) 816-4620, www.sparkcircus.org. 8pm-midnight, $10-20 sliding scale. It takes a village to blow a kid’s mind – spend an evening with this one to help fund Spark!’s mission to send 15 members of their fire spinnin’, jugglin’, rappin’, and joke crackin’ troupe to perform for kids in refugee camps, migrant schools, hospitals, and orphanages along the Thai-Burmese border.

MONDAY 13

Lemony Snicket Berkeley Repertory Theatre, 2015 Addison, Berk.; (510) 647-2949, www.berkeleyrep.org. 7pm, free. The dreadful, beleaguered children’s book hero sends his “stand-in,” author Daniel Handler to speak for him as part of Berkeley Rep’s always-free “Page to Stage” series.

The Monthly Rumpus The Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St., SF; www.brownpapertickets.com. 7-9:30pm, $10. The month’s theme, “Ladies Night,” draws some XX luminaries to the literary reading series stage, including Lusty Lady union organizer Antonia Crane, Michelle Tea, and indie folksters The Yellow Dress.

Highbrow-beaten

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arts@sfbg.com

FILM It has been such a feeble year for movies overall that it’s easy to understand why The King’s Speech would incite near-rapture on the festival and Oscar-countdown beats. Films like The King’s Speech have filled a certain notion of “prestige” cinema since the 1910s: historical themes, fully-clothed romance, high dramatics, star turns, a little political intrigue, sumptuous dress, and a vicarious taste of how the fabulously rich, famous, and powerful once lived. Whether derived from literary classics or the historical record, they usually involve aristocracy and British accents, reflecting our perennial escapist jones for Old World gentility.

At its best, this so-called Masterpiece Theatre moviemaking can transcend formula — it would be stupid to lowball the merits of Merchant-Ivory’s Howards End (1992), Terence Davies’ House of Mirth (2000), or Stephen Frears’ The Queen (2006) simply because they’re exquisitely appointed, polite entertainments. At their less-than-best, however, these movies sell complacency, in both style and content.

The King’s Speech purveys a particular fantasy not unlike Cinderella‘s (or Twilight‘s): that of the unappreciated “commoner” whose very special qualities prove exactly what is needed by the remote, glamorous, extraordinary — but lonely and misunderstood! — prince or vampire or whatnot who plucks them from the madding crowd. Here, Colin Firth plays King George VI, forced onto the throne his favored older brother Edward abandoned. This was especially traumatic because George’s severe stammer made public address tortuous.

The special friend he acquires is matey Australian émigré Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush, mercifully controlled), a speech therapist whose unconventional methods include insisting his royal client treat him as an equal. This ultimately frees not only the king’s tongue, but his heart — you see, he’s never had anyone before to confide in that daddy (Michael Gambon as George V) didn’t love him enough. Aww.

David Seidler’s conventionally inspirational script and BBC miniseries veteran Tom Hooper’s direction deliver the expected goods — dignity on wry, wee orgasms of aesthetic tastefulness, much stiff-upper-lippage — at a stately promenade pace. Firth, so good in the uneven A Single Man last year, is perfect in this rock-steadier vehicle. Yet he never surprises us; role, actor, and movie are on a leash tight enough to limit airflow.

The stuffiness lifts when George, exasperated and egged on, lets loose a string of childish profanity, his priggish reserve dissolving at last. Absurdly, this sole moment of naughty-boy silliness earned The King’s Speech — a PG prestige picture if ever there was one — its R rating from our wise protector, the MPAA.

THE KING’S SPEECH opens Fri/10 in San Francisco.

alt.sex.column: Bay watch

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Dear Andrea:

Our children are grown and it’s just us now, so my wife and I started to indulge in a nude lifestyle here in South Florida. We go to a secluded beach and our sexual adventures increase each time, to the point we are being viewed by others occasionally, mainly by men. All are attracted to my wife.

My fantasy started with me thinking how hot it would be to have one lick her while were making out on the beach. She openly talks about my fantasy to excite me but when someone walks by and I say “Would that work?” she generally offers some reason for why it wouldn’t. Last week I saw a guy walking our way, so I covered her eyes with her bikini top then began saying out loud I need a pussy licker. He smiled but continued walking. After he passed I rolled her over to do her doggy style then noticed he was walking back and had removed his Speedo. She went flat on her tummy on the blanket till he passed. So my question is, is my fantasy a possibility? Would a blindfold be the key for her to enjoy the experience? And is having one man lick her to orgasm while making out with another something a woman might enjoy?

We have been together almost five years and married 11 months.

Love,

Beach Bum

Dear Bum:

Right, and now your children are grown and you are old enough to have problem getting it up, and … oh, never mind. We all know this is fantasy. Let’s not spilt fantasy hairs.

Here is what your fantasy wife is trying to tell you, both in your fantasy and in whatever may have happened in real life to spur you to write this: she is turned on by the casual interest of other men. She is turned on by your being turned on by her being so hot that random passing guys are turned on by her. She did not “go flat on her tummy” by accident (or wouldn’t if this really happened). She does not want those guys to go down on her while you two make out. If she did, she would say so.

I don’t believe that this (if it happened) is one of those cases where a little shedding of inhibition is all she needs. This is not 1970s porn flick starring Georgina Spelvin. This is real life (unless it isn’t) and she is an uninhibited woman (if she exists) and it has been discussed and she doesn’t want to do it.

Even my kids, who are four, eventually believe me when I say such and such a thing isn’t going to happen. Grown men shouldn’t take longer than a four-year-old to believe a person who’s saying, “No, dear. I know you want it and I understand that this is frustrating for you, but I said no.”

And that is that. Unless, of course, it was the Speedo that turned her off. It has been known to happen.

Love,

Andrea

Got a question? Email Andrea at andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com

Live Shots: ‘Pilot Light’ at ODC Theater, 12/05/10

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The hardest part for me about watching dance is that if it’s really good, I want to start dancing too — and it bothers me that I have to stay cemented to my seat or risk embarrassment. This happened this weekend when I went to see Pilot Light at ODC Theater, a program 20 years in the making, that gives blossoming choreographers the chance to showcase their work in a professional theater. The evening’s program consisted of eight dance performances by six talented choreographers. I was awed by the variety of movement, costumes, and emotion, from utterly comical to positively serious.


Two choreographer’s work especially stuck with me. First, a piece choreographed by Amy Foley titled “Nearly/Known” really made me want to dance. The four dancers in their flowing dresses were stunning, their movements graceful and fluid. The piece consisted of three parts, each perfectly paired with beautiful music, including a piece by Yann Teirsen, whose music appeared in the film Amelie. The second piece I really loved was Charles Slender’s “Pretonically Oriented v.1.” This is the second time I’ve seen Slender’s work, and each time I’m struck by how unique and different his style of dance is. His dancers truly embrace his vision, releasing themselves physically, without any qualms in order to create both something that is beautiful and also slightly grotesque through their odd facial expressions. Each movement is precise and extended to that farthest possible point, and I find myself leaning forward in my seat, unblinking, wondering what in the world will happen next.

The whole evening was extremely interesting and enjoyable and I highly recommend you check out future Pilot Light performances if they return. Now, I’ve gotta go. I have to get my dancing shoes on!

Killing Casiotone: Owen Ashworth says goodbye — and looks ahead

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Owen Ashworth is on the phone with me, explaining his decision to retire Casiotone for the Painfully Alone:

“Definitely something has changed in me the last six or seven months where I haven’t enjoyed a lot of the things about making music the way I had. I feel like I haven’t been as nice of a person as I’m used to being. For the sake of my sanity I need to stop for a while. It’s been an insane couple of months doing these last tours, emotionally draining in ways that I didn’t anticipate. So I’m just really looking forward to being done for a while and coming back to it when I’m excited to come back to it.”

He pauses briefly, and adds, “There are a handful of songs I’ve already written for the next album, and a lot of half-finished ideas, which is usually how I work, with a lot of small skeletons for songs floating around until I figure out what to do with them.”

If this seems like a glaring contradiction, remind yourself of one simple fact: musicians never retire. Even an attempt to do so is usually greeted by confusion and misunderstanding. Earlier this year Ted Leo had to address misquotes that made it seem like he was hanging up his guitar. When musicians make the claim outright, it usually turns out to be hot air, as is the case with Jay-Z, who in 2003 made leaving the rap game a frequent subject of interviews and lyrics, and was never heard from again.

Ashworth isn’t oblivious. In September, he broke the relative silence of cftpaforever.livejournal.com/, usually reserved for tour info, to say, “I’d just like to clarify that this doesn’t mean that I’m quitting music. I love writing & recording songs, & I hope to make lots more records in my lifetime. But, after nearly thirteen years of being the dude from Casiotone for the Painfully Alone, I’m ready for a fresh start & a new challenge. So, after December 5, 2010 (the thirteen year anniversary of my first show), I’m throwing out the old songs & I’m trying something new. I’ll have more news about new projects & plans in the coming months.”

So far, Ashworth’s committed to the plan. On Sunday, Dec. 5, he’ll be back in the city where he started making music, for a final show as Casiotone for the Painfully Alone at Bottom of the Hill.

In a way it’s been a long time coming. Truth is, Owen Ashworth never intended to be Casiotone for the Painfully Alone at all. It was a much of a fluke as his first show in 1997, at a warehouse space at 17th and Capp. “I played that show at the request of a friend of mine who booked it. I had just made tapes and she liked the sound of the tape so she kind of tricked me — she made fliers without asking me to play the show. She thought I wouldn’t say no that way. So I played the show with the idea that this is probably never gonna happen again, I’m gonna get this over with. I remember that I was very nervous, very shaky. I had one keyboard through a really tiny amp.” The next week he had another show booked, under the name of the mixtape he had given his friend: Casiotone for the Painfully Alone.

“It was just the name of a tape I had given her. I didn’t realize it was going to refer to me, you know. Seriously, from the first show to when I decided to quit Casiotone, I considered changing the name the entire time, but having it already done, it seemed like so much work to try and call it someone else. I decided it didn’t really matter, it was just the name and it was kind of catchy and stupid enough for people to remember it. At least in the beginning it described the music pretty well.”

Arguably, the name has mattered. As descriptive as the name was, particularly in the early days, for Ashworth’s distinctive style of indie pop, with consumately pathetic lyrics layered on top of cheap keyboards and electronic samples, it prefigured an audience’s response. The press around each album has been centered around two poles.

First, how closely the music sticks to the sound of a suburban child’s first piano. With each Casiotone for the Painfully Alone album, there has been an incremental departure from the titular keyboard, adding in instruments and collaborators, particularly since 2006’s Etiquette (Tomlab). Ashworth, who in a typically self-effacing fashion describes Casiotone as “an insane, slow learning process, learning how to tour and write and record, doing all of these things and kind of just falling on my face in front of people for the last thirteen years,” sees the development of his instrumental side driving him in separate directions.

“The way I make music is kind of getting fragmented between recording and performance. I’ve been producing for a Chicago rapper, Serengeti, and that’s been my project over the summer. He has a new album coming out on anticon and it’s half stuff he did with me and half with Yoni from WHY? That’s sort of the more electronic side of the music. I enjoy recording that, but it’s not what I’m interested in doing live, so I think it works really well that I’ve been moving into production more. I can fuck with samplers and drum machines in my house and then just sort of give that music to other vocalists. Then for the music that I’ll be taking on the road and being accountable for and presenting over and over again in live settings, I’m more interested in playing with other people and real instruments.”

The Casiotone as an instrument may be easier to move past than the loneliness that Ashworth’s band name invokes and the lyrics bring to life. Simple, sad words that screw in as you listen, about regular people with typical lives. They’ve brought the musician a following, they’ve been his brand. But the association that the audience has for Ashworth and his emotional resonance has also been a nagging burden. “There’s generally a lot of assumption that I’m writing about myself, which is something that when I’m actually writing songs doesn’t occur to me much. I mean it’s fiction. Like any writer I’m inspired by real things that happen to me and my friends but it never occurs to me that it comes off as autobiographical.”

“With the name Casiotone for the Painfully Alone, the original idea was that the Painfully Alone was meant to refer to the listener and the idea of music as comfort music. It didn’t occur to me at the time that people would think that I was referring to myself as the painfully alone person.”

Casiotone records are galleries of character. A pedestrian world populated with eerily familiar people: high school teachers, Scrabble players, cellists, petty thieves, bedroom killers, landlords, and neighbors. Half of them you know by name. Half of them you’ve met before in real life. Sitting down to listen to a Casiotone record, you can relate to the situations. You’ve been in them, or know someone who has. The music engenders an emotional intimacy, it draws you in. “The way I make music is totally a tribute to the music I love and that claustrophobic, really intimate sense, I’m trying to create that because that’s a quality that I have an emotional reaction to in other music,” Owen says.

But the imagined intimacy that the fans has with the music, a sense of something real isn’t what drives Ashworth. “Genuineness isn’t even a factor to me. When I listen to Willie Nelson’s song “Crazy,” it doesn’t occur to me as, ‘Holy shit, Willie Nelson is going through the most intense stuff, I cant believe he’s singing about this.’ I think ‘That’s such a well-written song and he creates such a great atmosphere.’ I want to know how to write songs like that. I admire Willie Nelson as a songwriter, not as this survivor of all kinds of emotional problems.”

Ashworth has the remove of fiction writer for whom characters have there own will. When he talks about his characters, it’s not as a doting mother in whose eyes they can do no wrong, but as a friend who’s seen them make one too many mistakes. “I got really self conscious about what kind of people I was writing about, and I wanted them to start owning up to some of their own problems and take responsibility for the stupid things they did.” This culminated with 2009’s Vs. Children (Tomlab), an album he envisioned even before Etiquette as the end of Casiotone, with “a lot of more family-type relationships where people are having to consider their older relatives, having children and the young people they’re responsible for in their lives. I guess just showing more consequences of irresponsible living.”

It’s not uncommon for fiction writers to look back on old stories, and feel estranged, as if they were written by someone else. Ashworth has felt a similar distancing from his early work. “There are songs I wrote when I was twenty that don’t really mean the same thing to me as at the time that I wrote them. I feel like I’m covering those songs when people request them and it doesn’t feel relevant to me and I think that it would serve the material much better to be sort of left alone in the context of itself than for a man well into his thirties to continue performing these songs written by someone much younger.”

As Ashworth feels more alienated from his work over time, fans feel closer to it, and if they don’t, there’s always the potential for people to discover his early material for the first time, making it brand new all over again. (For better and worse.)

Of course, Ashworth’s not alone in the situation. All artists fight against their early successes, in an attempt to stay relevant, and practically, to stay financially above water. (Ashworth admits at one point, “Casiotone has been my source of income for a good while now and to cut off that source of income is a bit scary, but I can’t be proud of just doing this as a job, there’s gotta be more to it than that.”) For bands, this trend can result in fans demanding to hear “Free Bird” while they’re starting to intro “All I Can Do Is Write About It.” Eventually, almost everyone becomes a cover band of themselves, jamming at the County Fair or playing full albums for a new generation.

There’s always a break between artists and fans. The fans can romanticize the life, not seeing the physical and mental fatigue that can set in after playing the same material over and over, particularly when you damaged your hearing after too many nights being responsible for the full sound mix (as Ashworth has). They might not realize that the nostalgia for an old song never sets in when you play it every night. Or that, like an old marriage, the excitement is gone.

“It was really scary when I started Casiotone, and it felt so great to write a new song and be like ‘I have a new song I can play, my shows can be three minutes longer now.’ Whereas at this point, I feel like at my shows the priority for me is playing new material — [that’s] the stuff that I feel [is] most representative of me now, and that I’m most excited to share and excited to get better playing. But after thirteen years, there are so many songs that people want to hear I feel like I can’t get out of a show without playing — this list of songs that are expected as people;s favorites. I mean it’s super flattering and great,
but it’s really hard to move forward with new work when there’s this expectation for what you’ve done before.”

Ashworth already has an album in mind for the future, called Advance Base, the name of his studio, after the Antarctic meteorological station where Richard E. Byrd spent five months alone, even though it was built for three. Clearly, there are common themes and and interests that will persist in Ashworth’s music. But he’ll take his time and it won’t be under the exhausted banner of Casiotone.

“I’m killing Casiotone. I’m glad you enjoyed it, the records will be forever available, this is the new thing I’m gonna do now. I’m fully aware that there will probably be a smaller audience for the next thing I do. At the very least a different audience, and I’m sure there will be people who are super not on board with the idea that I’m not making what sounds like video game music anymore. That’s fine, and I’m glad Casiotone is still there for those people, but I’m gonna make myself crazy if I keep playing those songs for the rest of my life. I really love writing and recording songs and I just want to concentrate on continuing to do that. Just trotting out a greatest hits set for as long as I make music does not feel like a challenge.”

This may sound a little harsh for the tender-hearted lovers of Casiotone. But Sunday’s show, with accompaniment by the Donkeys and other SF musicians, is likely to be “a longer set, with some older songs I haven’t been playing that much lately. And just some stuff I don’t play usually.” So there you have it. Last chance. For now.

“I’m welcoming the chance to miss those songs.”

The face of Cher

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(In the style of Roland Barthes’ The Face of Garbo.) Cher’s face belongs to our current moment in cinema when the female visage represents a kind of absolute non-state of the flesh, which can be reached through a variety of (as-yet-not-entirely-confirmed) nips, tucks, filler injections, makeup and post-production airbrushing.

Cher’s is indeed a formidable face-object. In Burlesque, her makeup is thicker than her costars’ because the paint has been applied atop an increasingly contoured plaster surface. What was once a Byzantine icon — heavy lidded eyes and elongated nose framed by an oval countenance — has become a Noh mask. Her famed mile-long cheekbones are no longer defined by their underlying hollowness, but by the gibbous moon-like protuberances of her cheeks. So too does the plumpness of her lips, the lower line always under-drawn, exhaust the descriptive powers of “bee-stung.” Amid the snow of her foundation, her eyes remain her most expressive feature, narrowing slightly whenever she offers a bemused smile and wetting at the edges (glycerin?) to indicate sadness. This face, with the dark vegetation of its eyes and totem-like countenance, comes to resemble Louise in Georges Franju’s Eyes Without a Face (1960) or Dead or Alive singer Pete Burns.

Yet how many actresses have consented to let the crowd see the ominous maturing of their beauty? Not many, unless it’s Oscar season. Their essence is not to be degraded, their faces are not to have any reality except that of their perfection. The face of Cher — whose character Tess, also a showbiz vet, has probably been around the block as many times and could claim as many comebacks as the actress playing her — openly testifies to the existence of this unspoken entertainment industry mandate, “forever young,” and burlesques it into a form of extreme beauty.

Viewed as a transition the face of Cher reconciles two iconographic ages, it assures the passage from actual plasticity to a molded mask. As is well known, we are today at the other pole of this evolution: the face of Heidi Montag, for instance, is homogenized, not only because of its peculiar thematics (woman as child, “real girl” as reality star) but also because her face, which has nothing of an essence left in it, is constituted by an infinite complexity of cosmetic enhancements. Cher’s enhancements only further enhance her “Cher-ness,” whereas Montag’s sundry “improvements” ultimately render her (or say, Madonna) less distinguishable. The face of Cher is an Idea, that of Montag an Afterthought. 

 

Rep Clock

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Schedules are for Wed/1–Tues/7 except where noted. Director and year are given when available. Double and triple features are marked with a •. All times are p.m. unless otherwise specified.

ARTISTS’ TELEVISION ACCESS 992 Valencia, SF; www.atasite.org. $6-10. “Radical Lights: San Francisco Lines of Sight,” Wed, 7:30. Co-presented by San Francisco Cinematheque, Pacific Film Archive, and Prelinger Archives. “Other Cinema:” •D Tour (Granato, 2008) and Sleeping Nights Awake (Albright, 2010), Sat, 8. Calvin and Sweetpea (Fletcher, 2007), Sun, 8.

BRIDGE 3010 Geary, SF; (415) 668-6384. Free ($4 suggested donation). “Cowboy Bebop Appreciation Society and Landmark’s Bridge Theatre present Bebop Nights: Everybody Dies Edition” Fri, midnight.

CASTRO 429 Castro, SF; (415) 621-6120, www.castrotheatre.com. $10-15. The Sound of Music (Wise, 1965), Wed-Sun, 7 (also Sat-Sun, 1). Presented sing-a-long style.

CHRISTOPHER B. SMITH RAFAEL FILM CENTER 1118 Fourth St, San Rafael; (415) 454-1222, www.cafilm.org. $6.50-10.25. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest (Alfredson, 2009), call for dates and times. Inside Job (Ferguson, 2010), call for dates and times. Leaving (Corsini, 2009), call for dates and times. Today’s Special (Kaplan, 2009), call for dates and times. Vision: From the Life of Hildegard Von Bingen (von Trotta, 2009), call for dates and times. “San Francisco Grand Opera Cinema Series:” Lucia de Lammermoor, Thurs, 7; Sat, 10am. “Buddhist Film Festival Showcase 2010,” Dec 2-9. These shows, $12.

HUMANIST HALL 390 27th St, Oakl; www.humanisthall.org. $5. “Bay Area Culture and Performance Art,” presented by video activist Steve Jacobson, Wed, 7:30.

MECHANICS’ INSTITUTE 57 Post, SF; (415) 393-0100 (reservations required). $10. “CinemaLit:” Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story (Winterbottom, 2005), Fri, 6.

PACIFIC FILM ARCHIVE 2575 Bancroft, Berk; (510) 642-5249, www.bampfa.berkeley.edu. $5.50-9.50. “Radical Light: Alternative Film and Video in the San Francisco Bay Area:” Tribulation 99 (Baldwin, 1999) with ‘Disaster” (Millner, 1975-76), Wed, 7:30. “Carl Theodor Dreyer:” The President (1918), Fri, 7; Vampyr (1931), Fri, 8:40. “Grin, Smile, Smirk: The Films of Burt Lancaster:” The Crimson Pirate (Siodmak, 1952), Sat, 6:30; Sweet Smell of Success (Mackendrick, 1957), Sat, 8:40; Elmer Gantry (Brooks, 1960), Sun, 4:45. “Days of Glory: Revisiting Italian Neorealism:” Voyage in Italy (Rossellini, 1953), Sun, 3.

PARAMOUNT 2025 Broadway, Oakl; (510) 642-5249, www.bampfa.berkeley.edu. $25. The Passion of Joan of Arc (Dreyer, 1928), Thurs, 7:30. An oratorio with silent film featuring Mark Sumner’s Voices of Light libretto, performed by UC Berkeley’s Perfect Fifth and conducted by Mark Sumner.

RED VIC 1727 Haight, SF; (415) 668-3994. $6-10. Animal Kingdom (Michod, 2010), Wed, 2, 7, 9:25. Polack (Kenney, 2010), Thurs, 8. Saint Misbehavin’: The Wavy Gravy Movie (Esrick, 2009), Dec 3-9, 7:15, 9:15 (also Sat-Sun, 2, 4; Wed, 2).

ROXIE 3117 and 3125 16th St, SF; (415) 863-1087, www.roxie.com. $5-9.75. Prince of Broadway (Baker, 2010), Wed-Thurs, call for times. California Tango (Togliatti, 2010), Fri, 8. The Temptation of St. Tony (Ounpuu, 2010), Dec 3-9, call for times.

SAN FRANCISCO MUSEUM OF MODERN ART 151 Third St, SF; www.sfcinema.org. Free with museum admission ($9-18). Rara (film) (Bussotti), Thurs, 7. Presented with live piano accompaniment by Sylvano Bussotti. “Bussotti: Concert-Restrospective,” post-screening concert with Bussotti and sfSoundGroup, Thurs, 9.

SHATTUCK 2230 Shattuck, Berk; (510) 843-3699. Free. “Mathematics, Love, and Death:” “Rite of Love and Death” (Mishima, 1965) and “Rites of Love and Math” (Graves and Frenkel, 2010), Wed, 7.

VIZ CINEMA New People, 1746 Post, SF; www.vizcinema.com. $10-12. Kamu Gaidan (Sai, 2009), Wed, 4:45. “8x8x8 Film Fest,” eight short films presented by the San Francisco Jewish Film Festival, Thurs, 8. For info on this event, visit www.jccsf.org. “China Underground,” seven new films from China, Fri-Sun. YERBA BUENA CENTER FOR THE ARTS 701 Mission, SF; (415) 978-2787, www.ybca.org. $6-8. “Go to Hell for the Holidays:” Red White & Blue (Rumley, 2010), Thurs, 7:30; Feast of the Assumption: BTK and the Otero Family Murders (Levitz, 2008), Sat, 7:30; Wolf Creek (Maclean, 2005), Sun, 2.

Our Weekly Picks: December 1-7

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WEDNESDAY 1

MUSIC

Good for the Jews

The last time this parodic-Hebraic duo made it to this city, they were greeted by a protesting Nazi who had posted up in front of their show. “He felt that we were representative of the Jewish-owned media. But I want to know: if we’re representing Zionist power, why am I staying at a Holiday Inn?” says group member Rob Tannenbaum. Honestly, the two (the other member is David Fagin) could probably care less about the crazies. Their Xmas alternative songs, which include “Reuben the Hook-Nosed Reindeer,” poke fun at the schmaltz of Christianity and Judaism — secular, and less so — alike, a perfect side dish for your holiday Chinese takeout. (Caitlin Donohue)

8 p.m., $15

Café Du Nord

2170 Market, SF

(415) 861-5016

www.cafedunord.com

 

THURSDAY 2

FILM

The Passion of Joan of Arc

One of the great meteors of film history, Carl Theodor Dreyer’s silent elegy literalizes the adage that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928) charges religious iconography with the erotic fluency of moving images, paving the way for subsequent generations of film transcendentalists who have sought the sacred in the profane. Once you’ve witnessed Maria Falconetti’s Joan, your sense of what’s possible in film acting is forever marked. Seeing the movie at the Paramount accompanied by an orchestral performance of Richard Einhorn’s Voices of Light score promises to be an awesome treat — the cinematic equivalent of a purification ritual. (Max Goldberg)

7:30 p.m., $25

Paramount Theatre

2025 Broadway, Oakl.

(510) 642-5249

www.bampfa.berkeley.edu


THEATER

“San Francisco’s Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes”

Picture it: San Francisco, 2010. Overcome by their affection for The Golden Girls and a tidal wave of holiday spirit, a quartet of drag superstars (Heklina, Cookie Dough, Matthew Martin, and Pollo Del Mar), plus one legendary rocker (Jane Wiedlin of the Go-Go’s), join forces to present two full-length episodes of the immortal sitcom live on stage. (For GG experts, because I know you’re out there, the eps are “Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas” and “Long Day’s Journey Into Marinara.”) Heklina and company earned raves for The Golden Girls: The Play, and this jolly twist offers an ideal, cheesecake-fueled opportunity to greet the season. (Cheryl Eddy)

Through Dec. 23

Thurs.–Sat., 7 and 9 p.m., $25

CounterPULSE

1310 Mission, SF

www.ticketfly.com

 

MUSIC

Mister Heavenly

Mister Heavenly is the result of a long-rumored collaboration between top-flight indie rock songwriters Nick Thorburn (Islands, Unicorns) and Honus Honus of Man Man. Originally slated to be little more than a tossed-off sidestep, the project picked up steam with the addition of drummer Joe Plummer (Modest Mouse, Shins). No recordings have surfaced yet, so it’s tough to tell what Mister Heavenly is actually gonna sound like. But with Thorburn on record describing it as a low frequency, slowed down version of doo-wop — appropriately dubbed “doom-wop” — I think it’s at least safe to bank on it being awesomely strange. (Landon Moblad)

9 p.m., $12

Café Du Nord

2170 Market, SF

(415) 861-5016

www.cafedunord.com EVENT

 

EVENT

Left Coast Leaning Festival

Pin it on whatever factor you like, but the fact remains that the Best Coast whoops that other coast’s ass, wraps it up nicely, and drops it in the mail marked “Return to Sender.” For reals, it’s nice out here. You already knew that, and so do the wonderful young-person spoken word artists at Youth Speaks, who along with the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts are putting together this homage to the Wild West’s cultural diversity and its many happy mutations of hip-hop culture. Tonight alone you can check out the modern fusion dance stylings of Adia Tamar Whitaker and a dreamy, beautiful animated piece by Los Angeles’ Miwa Matreyek. (Donohue)

Thurs/2–Sat/4, 8 p.m., $20

Yerba Buena Center for the Arts

701 Mission, SF

(415) 978-2787

www.ybca.org

 

FRIDAY 3

DANCE

Liss Fain Dance

Choreographer Liss Fain presents The False and True are One, which plays with the notion of how an event can be perceived differently by various people. Fain breaks up the common proscenium presentation of dance by creating a series of galleries on the stage that audience members can meander through at their leisure. Fain’s talented dancers (Jennifer Beamer Fernandez, Private Freeman, Megan Kurashige, Shannon Kurashige, Alec Lytton, and Bethany Mitchell) will perform throughout Matthew Antaky’s architecturally designed performance space while actor Jeri-Lynn Cohen enacts short stories by Lydia Davis. The result will be many different perceptions and viewings of the same performance. (Emmaly Wiederholt)

Fri/3–Sat/4, 8 p.m., $25

Z Space

450 Florida, SF

www.lissfaindance.org

 

VISUAL ART

“Stella Luminosa”

Electric Works’ new group show “Stella Luminosa” is like a much-needed shot of bourbon to steady oneself against the already advancing avalanche of holiday-themed treacle. Brining together such guiding lights as Dave Eggers, Matt Furie, Ian Huebert, Jason Jägel, Keegan McHargue, Clare Rojas, and Gina Tuzzi, “Stella Luminosa” presents these artists’ highly idiosyncratic winter wonderlands (with extra emphasis on “wonder”) and the odd ducks who inhabit them. Why settle for good cheer when there is plenty of weird cheer to go around? (Matt Sussman)

Through Dec. 24

Reception tonight, 6–8 p.m.

Electric Works

130 Eighth St., SF

www.sfelectricworks.com

 

MUSIC

Mr. Oizo

Who is the elusive Mr. Oizo? Here’s what we know for sure: French. Reportedly born Quentin Dupleux, although it’s specious. Electro DJ and producer. On the notorious Ed Banger record label with Justice, SebastiAn, and Cassius. Frequent collaborator with additional label-mate and proto Ke$ha, Uffie. Double identity as a film director. The subject of most recent film, Rubber, involves a homicidal tire with psychic powers. First infiltrated the U.S. in 1999 with seemingly harmless yet ubiquitous “Flat Eric” Levi’s ad campaign, the soundtrack from which may have been used to indoctrinate domestic sleeper agents. Current developments in sound are more nefarious and possibly deadly. Further surveillance required. (Ryan Prendiville)

With Boyz IV Men

10 p.m., $19.50

103 Harriet

103 Harriet, SF

(415) 431-1200

www.1015.com

 

DANCE

Human Creature and Jessica Damon

Human Creature shares the bill with Jessica Damon and Dancers in this performance presented by Resident Artist Workshop (RAW). With four new works choreographed by codirectors Derek Harris and Meegan Hertensteiner and music by composer Mark Hertensteiner, Human Creature’s witty and dark subject matter includes sleep, a postapocalyptic beginning, and the subconscious. Choreographer Jessica Damon’s piece Coated investigates how it must feel to be coated in oil and addresses the environmental problems associated with innovation and the unconsidered costs of technological growth. Stick around for beer and wine at the post-show party in the basement with DJ K-Real. (Wiederholt)

Fri/3–Sat/4, 8 p.m., $10–$20

Garage

975 Howard, SF

(415) 518-1517

www.975howard.com

 

SATURDAY 4

DANCE

“Pilot 57: Pilot Light”

Twenty years and 27 programs later, ODC’s Pilot series one reason young dancers continue flocking to the Bay Area, cost of living be damned. Pilot participants are not beginners; they have a professional, though usually small, track record. What they want and get from Pilot are 11 weeks of working with equal-minded colleagues in a supportive environment that provides feedback. Practical advice on how to make it in a competitive field is thrown in. Artists Nathan Cottam, Amy Foley, Daria Kaufman, Elizabeth McSurdy, Raisa Punkki, and Charles Slender bring wide perspective to their projects, which should make for appealing shows — and probably had sparks flying during the working sessions. (Rita Felciano)

Sat/4–Sun/5, 8 p.m., $12

ODC Theater

3153 17th St., SF

(415) 863-9834

www.odctheater.org

 

SUNDAY 5

MUSIC

Jonathan Richman

Some know him as the leader of 1970s pre-punk trailblazers, the Modern Lovers. Others recognize him as the wide-eyed crooner known to pop up in Farrelly brothers comedies. But it’s the 30 years’ worth of quirky solo albums that have made Jonathan Richman one of the finest cult singer-songwriters of his era. Combining early rock ‘n’ roll songwriting strummed out on a clean Telecaster; a surplus of world music influences; and sparse, tasteful accompaniment from his longtime drummer Tommy Larkins, Richman is a hilarious and charming performer whose live show is not to be missed. (Moblad)

With Gail Davies

8 p.m., $15

Great American Music Hall

859 O’Farrell, SF

(415) 885-0750

www.gamh.com

 

DANCE

Mary Sano Dance Collaborations

Mary Sano is a passionate advocate for the work of Isadora Duncan. In Japan she was a modern dancer until she encountered the work of the great California dance pioneer. Her programs usually feature Duncan and Duncan-style dances, but she often brings in actors, musicians, and poets for intriguing salon-type evenings. For Ship of Dreams: Kanrin Maru 150 Years of Hope, Struggle and Friendship, her first evening-length piece, she dipped into all of these resources. Everybody has heard of Commodore Perry, who is credited-blamed for “opening” Japan to wonders of Western civilization in 1851. But does anybody know the story of the Kanrin Maru, which — against incredible odds — carried the first Japanese emissaries to the U.S. in 1860, landing of course in San Francisco? Sano “recreates” this journey with four dancers, seven actors, and five musicians, including Native American singer Dennis Banks. (Felciano)

7 p.m., $28

Brava Theater

2781 24th St., SF

(415) 647-2822

www.brava.org

 

MUSIC

Casiotone for the Painfully Alone

Is it possible that Owen Ashworth has cheered up? For more than a decade Casiotone for the Painfully Alone has been an appropriately descriptive title for his brand of subdued, introspective, keyboard-infused indie pop. But now it’s over. He announced in suitably emo fashion (via LiveJournal): “After nearly 13 years of being the dude from Casiotone for the Painfully Alone, I’m ready for a fresh start and a new challenge. So, after Dec. 5, 2010 (the 13-year anniversary of my first show), I’m throwing out the old songs and I’m trying something new.” Expect this show to be especially bittersweet. (Prendiville)

With Donkeys and Ian Fays

9 p.m., $12

Bottom of the Hill

1233 17th St., SF

(415) 621-4455

www.bottomofthehill.com 


The Guardian listings deadline is two weeks prior to our Wednesday publication date. To submit an item for consideration, please include the title of the event, a brief description of the event, date and time, venue name, street address (listing cross streets only isn’t sufficient), city, telephone number readers can call for more information, telephone number for media, and admission costs. Send information to Listings, the Guardian Building, 135 Mississippi St., SF, CA 94107; fax to (415) 487-2506; or e-mail (paste press release into e-mail body — no text attachments, please) to listings@sfbg.com. Digital photos may be submitted in jpeg format; the image must be at least 240 dpi and four inches by six inches in size. We regret we cannot accept listings over the phone.

Stage Listings

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Stage listings are compiled by Guardian staff. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks. For complete listings, see www.sfbg.com.

THEATER

OPENING

Babes in Arms Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson; 255-8207, www.42ndstmoon.org. $24-44. Previews Wed/1, 7pm; Thurs/2-Fri/3, 8pm. Opens Sat/4, 6pm. Runs Wed, 7pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 6pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Dec 19. 42nd Street Moon presents John Guare’s adaptation of the musical by Rodgers and Hart.

Christmas in Hell: The Real and True Story About the Guys Who Saved Christmas Dark Room Theater, 2263 Mission; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $20. An original holiday play, written and directed by Jim Fourniadis.

Cinderella African American Art & Culture Complex, 762 Fulton; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $10-30. Opens Fri/3, 8pm.Runs Fri/8pm; Sat, 3 and 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Dec 19. African-American Shakespeare Company presents the classic fairytale, starring Velina Brown.

Cora Values’ Christmas Corral Exit Cafe, 156 Eddy; 673-3847, www.brownpapertickets.com. $15-25. Opens Fri/3, 8:30pm. Runs Fri-Sat, 8:30pm. Through Dec 11. The holiday hostess leaves the I-19 Gas ‘N’ Gulp to share her take on Dickens.

Dirty Little Showtunes! A Parody Musical Revue New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $24-40. Previews Fri/3-Sat, 4, 8pm; Sun/5, 2pm; Fi/10, 8pm. Opens Sat/11, 8pm. Runs Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Tom Orr’s adults-only holiday show returns, with direction by F. Allen Sawyer and musical direction by Scrumbly Koldewyn.

Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes CounterPULSE, 1310 Mission; www.ticketfly.com. $25. Opens Thurs/2, 7pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 7 and 9pm. Through Dec 23. Heklina, Cookie Dough, Matthew Martin, and Pollo Del Mar return with their stage tribute to the sitcom.

The Oddman Family Christwanzaakuh Spectactular! Exit Stage Left, 156 Eddy; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $20. Opens Thurs/2, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Guerrilla Rep and Beards Beards Beards present a new twisted musical farce.

Ruth and the Sea Stage Werx Theatre, 533 Sutter; www.ruthandthesea.com. $18-24. Opens Thurs/2, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 18.Wily West Productions presents Gwyneth Richards in a kooky holiday show, directed by Stuart Bousel.

Shrek The Musical Orpheum Theatre, 1192 Market; (888) SHN-1799, wwwshnsf.com. $30-99. Opens Wed/1, 2pm. Runs Tues, 8pm, Wed, 2 and 8pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2pm (no performances Dec 24, Dec 25, and Dec 31). Through Jan 2.Eric Peterswn stars in the stage version of the animated blockbuster.

BAY AREA

Becoming Julia Morgan Berkeley City Club, 2315 Durant, Berk; (510) 984-3864, www.brownpapertickets.com. $24-30. Opens Fri/3, 8pm. Runs Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 9. Janis Stevens stars in Belinda Taylor’s play about the trailblazing architect.

A Christmas Memory TheatreWorks at Lucie Stern Theatre, 1305 Middlefield, Palo Alto; (650) 463-1960, www.theatreworks.org. $19-67. Previews Wed/1-Fri/3, 8pm. Opens Sat/4, 8pm. Runs Tues-Wed, 7:30pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Dec 26. TheatreWorks presents the holiday tale by Truman Capote.

Of the Earth – The Salt Plays: Part 2 Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby; (510) 841-6500, www.shotgunplayers.org. $17-30. Previews Thurs/2-Fri/3, 8pm. Opens Sat/4, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm (also Wed/7pm beginning Dec 15). Through Jan 30. Shotgun Players present the second half of writer and director Jon Tracy’s Odyssey-inspired tale, with music by Brendan West.

ONGOING

Absolutely San Francisco Phoenix Theater Annex, 414 Mason, 4th floor; 433-1235, www.absolutelysanfrancisco.com. $28. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 18. Karen Hirst’s one-person musical about lost love.

Caligari Studio 385, 385A Eighth St; www.brownpapertickets.com. $10-30. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 10. HurLyBurLy performs an original adaptation of the 1920 silent film, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.

Cavalia: A Magical Encounter Between Horse and Man White Big Top, adjacent to AT&T Park; www.cavalia.net. $39.50-239.50. Check website for shows and times. Through Dec 12. Over 100 performers, including 50 horses, take the stage in this circus-like show from Montreal.

Christian Cagigal’s Obscura: A Magic Show EXIT Cafe, 156 Eddy; 1-800-838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $15-25. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 18. Magician Christian Cagigal presents a mix of magic, fairy tales, and dark fables.

It’s All the Rage The Marsh, 1062 Valencia; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $20-50. Sat, 8:30pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Sun/5. Longtime comedian and radio host Marilyn Pittman’s solo play wrestles with the legacy of her parents’ violent deaths in a 1997 murder-suicide initiated by her father. It’s disturbing material that Pittman, a stout middle-aged woman with a gregarious and bounding personality, approaches indirectly via a good deal of humor—including recounting the first time she did her growing-up-lesbian bit before her mother in a DC comedy club. But the pain and confusion trailing her for 13 years is never far behind, whether in accounts of her own battle with anger (and the broken relationships its left in its wake) or in ominous memories of her too complaisant mother or her charming but domineering father, whose controlling behavior extended to casually announcing murderous dreams while policing the boundaries of his marriage against family interference. A fine mimic, Pittman deploys a Southern lilt in playing each parent, on a stage decorated with a hint of their Southwestern furnishings and a framed set of parental photographs. In not exactly knowing where to lay blame for, or find meaning in, such a horrifying act, the play itself mimics in subtler form the emotional tumult left behind. There’s a too brief but eerie scene in which her veteran father makes reference to a murder among fellow soldiers en route to war, but while PTSD is mentioned (including as an unwanted patrimony), the 60-minute narrative crafted by Pittman and director David Ford wisely eschews any pat explanation. If transitions are occasionally awkward and the pace a bit loose, the play leaves one with an uncomfortable sense of the darker aspects of love, mingled with vague concentric histories of trauma and dislocation in a weird, sad tale of destruction and staying power. (Avila)

The Lion in Winter Actors Theatre, 855 Bush; 345-1287, www.ticketweb.com. $26-38. Wed-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 18. Actors Theatre of SF presents James Goldman’s play of palace intrigue.

Match Royce Gallery, 2901 Mariposa; 1-866-811-4111, www.matchonstage.com. $12-28. Thurs-Sun, 8pm. Through Dec 18. Expression Productions presents Stephen Belber’s new suspense drama.

Or, Magic Theatre, Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna; 441-8822, www.magictheatre.org. $20-60. Wed-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2:30pm); Sun, 2:30pm; Tues, 7pm. Through Sun/5. The latest from New York playwright Liz Duffy Adams (Dog Act, One Big Lie) is a neo-Restoration romp with contemporary political overtones, sexual and otherwise, and a lot of winking, verse-bound, hit-and-miss humor. The play imagines Aphra Behn (Natacha Roi) in her modest mid-17th-century London living quarters (a spare, elegantly worn arrangement beautifully conceived by set designer Michael Locher) as she negotiates a notable professional transition from spy for the Crown to the country’s first female playwright (best known today for The Rover). But visits by secret and amorous patron King Charles II (Ben Huber), equally smitten leading lady Nell Gwynne (Maggie Mason), on-the-lam fellow spy William Scott (Huber), and several other major and minor people and personages (all played in quick-change style by Huber and Mason), presents Aphra with severe challenges as well as, of course, creative opportunities as a writer. Despite, however, generally sharp and energetic performances under Magic Theater artistic director Loretta Greco’s fluid staging, the farce itself feels too forced and thinly layered to really continue mounting as giddily as it should. The play’s self-conscious nod to contemporary American politics, meanwhile, unintentionally mimics an all-too-familiar course from enthusiasm for change to stagnant anti-climax.

Party of 2 – The New Mating Musical Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; (800) 838-3006, www.partyof2themusical.com. $27-29. Sun, 3pm. Open-ended. A musical about relationships by Shopping! The Musical author Morris Bobrow.

*Pearls Over Shanghai Thrillpeddlers’ Hypnodrome, 575 Tenth St; 1-800-838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $30-69. Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 19. Thrillpeddlers’ acclaimed production of the Cockettes musical continues its successful run.

A Perfect Ganesh New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $22-40. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Dec 19. New Conservatory Theatre Center presents the Terrence McNally play, directed by Arturo Catricala.

The Real Americans The Marsh, 1062 Valencia; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 5pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Sat/4 (resuming in Jan 2011). Dan Hoyle’s acclaimed one-man show, directed by Charlie Varon, continues its extended run.

A Tale of Two Genres SF Playhouse, Stage Two, 533 Sutter; www.un-scripted.com. $10-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 3pm; additional shows Dec 20-23). Through Dec 23. Un-Scripted Theater Company performs an improvised musical in the style of Charles Dickens.

The Tempest Exit on Taylor, 277 Taylor; 1-800-838-3006, www.cuttingball.com. $15-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Dec 19. In Cutting Ball’s latest foray into Shakespearean realms, three entangled subplots and eleven characters are enacted by just three actors, in order to explore the relationships between the principle characters by representing their internal characteristics through the actions of the more minor roles. Set on an enchanted island (or, in Cutting Ball’s interpretation, at the bottom of a swimming pool) The Tempest begins with stormy weather, but quickly grows into a full-blown hurricane of shipwrecked nobles, nymphs, and drunks, plus the turbulent awakenings of a teenage daughter’s libido, and the rumblings of her over-protective papa. The most effective dual-character is Caitlyn Louchard’s Miranda-Ariel, as both characters are quite under the stern control of Prospero (David Sinaiko) and equally deserving of release. Less affecting yet somehow equally congruous is Sinaiko’s comic turn as the buffoonish Stephano, who stumbles through the forest in his boxer shorts, yet somehow maintains an air of mock dignity that does parallel Prospero’s. Donell Hill’s Caliban-Ferdinand endures his lust-love for Miranda and servitude to Prospero alternating between raw physicality and social ineptness. But since “The Tempest” is littered with characters even more minor, the game cast is stretched too thinly to fully inhabit each, and the entire subplot involving King Alonzo, Gonzalo, and Antonio in particular suffers from this ambitious over-extension. (Gluckstern)

The Tender King Phoenix Theatre, 414 Mason, Sixth Flr; www.secondwindtheatre.com. $20-25. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Dec 11. Second Wind Productions presents Ian Walker’s noir-tinged World War II drama.

The Velveteen Rabbit Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, Novellus Theater, 700 Howard; 978-2787, www.ybca.org. Call for dates and times. Through Dec 12. ODC/Dance presents Margery Williams’ holiday favorite.

 

BAY AREA

A Christmas Carol: The Musical Novato Theater Company Playhouse, 484 Ignacio, Novato; 863-4498, www.novatotheatercompany.org. $10-18. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Dec 17. Novato Theater Company presents a new adaptation of the holiday classic.

Cinderella, Enchanted Julia Morgan Center for the Arts, 2640 College, Berk; (510) 665-5565, www.berkeleyplayhouse.org. $15-33. Call for run times. Through Sun/5. Frenchie Davis plays the Fairy Godmother in this production of the Rogers and Hammerstein musical.

East 14th – True Tales of a Reluctant Player The Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston Way, Berk; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Call for times. Through Dec 19. Don Reed’s one-man show continues its extended run.

Happy Now? Marin Theatre Company, 397 Miller, Mill Valley; (415) 388-5208, www.marintheatre.org. $32-53. Tues and Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Wed, 7:30pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Sun/5. Marin Theatre Company performs Lucinda Coxon’s stinging comedy about contemporary marriage.

Lemony Snicket’s The Composer is Dead Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Roda Theatre, 2015 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, www.berkeleyrep.org. Call for dates and times. Through Jan 15, 2011. Berkeley Rep premieres the new musical, written by Lemony Snicket, with music by Nathaniel Stookey.

Loveland The Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston Way, Berk; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Fri, 7pm; Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 11. Ann Randolph’s hit one-woman comic show continues its extended run.

Palomino Aurora Theatre, 2081 Addison, Berk; (510) 843-4822, www.auroratheatre.org. $10-55. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm; Tues, 7pm. Through Sun/5. David Cale brings his new solo play about a gigolo to Aurora Theatre for its Bay Area premiere.

*The Play About the Naked Guy La Val’s Subterranean, 1834 Euclid, Berk; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $10-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 11. Impact Theatre presents an off-Broadway hit, written by David Bell and directed by Evren Odcikin.

 

PERFORMANCE/DANCE

“Balls to Balzac: A Journey From Testicles to Women in the Bourbon Restoration” cellSPACE, 2050 Bryant; 323-0246, www.cellspace.org. Sun/5, 8pm. $10. Choreogrpaher Amy Lewis presents a performance art dance lecture.

“Booze, Boys, and Brownies: A Musical Journey” Exit Theatre, 156 Eddy; (800) 838-3006. $9-12. Fri/3-Sat/4, 8pm (through Dec 11). A one-woman show about an actress who traveled from SF to Tinseltown.

The False and True Are One Z Space, Theater Artaud, 450 Florida; www.lissfaindance.org. $12.50-25. Fri/3-Sat/4, 8pm. Liss Fain Dance presents a performance installation featuring Jeri Lynn Cohen.

“Holiday Humbug Clown Cabaret” TJT – The Jewish Theatre, 470 Florida; 522-0786, www.tjt-sf.org. $15. Mon/6, 7 and 9pm. The Clown Cabaret of the Climate Theatre presents a holiday show.

Human Creature and Jessica Damon The Garage, 975 Howard; 518-1517, www.975howard.com. $10-20, Fri/3-Sat/4, 8pm. Human Creature and Jessica Damon and Dancers present works as part of RAW.

“Kinetic Reality” Studio Theater, USF Lone Mountain Campus, 2800 Turk; 422-3888, PASJtickets@esfca.edu. $5-10. Thurs/2-Sat/4, 8pm. USF’s fall dance show, with work by Laura Arrington, Jo Kreiter, and others.

“Left Coast Leaning Festival” YBCA Forum, 701 Mission; 978-2787, www.ybca.org. $10-20. Thurs/2-Sat/4, 8pm. YBCA and Youth Speaks presents the second fest, with performances by Jogja Hip-Hop Foundation, the 605 Collective, and others.

“Lipstick and Kisses 2010: A Flaming Lotus Girls Extravaganza” SOMArts, 934 Brannan; www.flaminglotus.com. Free. Fri/3, 7pm-2am. The fire art mavens present an evening of art, music, and fun.

The Other Woman The Marsh, 1062 Valencia; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. Tues/7, 8pm. $10-15. Marsh Rising presents a performance by Victoria Zackheim.

“Pilot Light” ODC Theater, 3153 17th; www.odcdance.org. $12. Sat/4-Sun/5, 8pm. An evening of new work by six emerging choreographers.