San Francisco

The Daily Blurgh: San Fran pranksters

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Curiosities, quirks, oddites, and items from around the Bay

As Laughing Squid wisely reminds us, today is Internet Annoyance Day. So, rather than annoy you with fake news items that SURPRISE! Link to NSFWLOLfunnytimes, here’s a compedium of some of my favorite moments in which our city has played the fool at the hands of some trickster, egghead-with-a-funny bone, practical joker, anonymous collective, or plain ‘ol sick fuck.


“The Stockton Street Tunnelway, running South below this ‘Tunnel Top,’ is recognized as the first of 200 ‘Oriental labor tunnels’ dug within the state of California. Dating to the year 1894, the Oriental labor force indentured by the Moorlock-Datsun Company worked tirelessly in deep water and suffered many deaths in the pursuit of easy, underground passage for the residents of San Francisco.

This Plaque was erected in July 2002 in memoriam for the 3 men who lost their lives digging here, having succumbed to a sudden and terrible subterranean whirlpool.”

 


“Enter the world of the samurai, where more than seven centuries of martial rule are reduced to a single Disney-like trope of gentleman-warrior myth. Military prowess  meets cultural connoisseurship in an ideal of masculine perfection–selling militarism as beauty in a time of war.”


 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFHxn_9aVq8

 


 
“It’s Official…I am Running for Governor of California”


 

“Back in 1998 several San Francisco Bay Area radio stations had April Fool s-themed programming, including commercial station KITS (aka Live 105), which changed to KGAY for a day, airing gay-themed music. That same year college station KUSF read an announcement over the air stating that the university was selling off the station and commercial rock station KFOG devoted their 10 at 10 3 segment to big band music. Another year KFOG spent part of their program day playing the best 15 seconds of songs as their new format.”

(Yeah, yeah. “KGAY” is about as funny as Rudy Giuliani in drag, but props to KFOG’s 15 second rule)

 


For a true education pick up a copy of Re-Search #11: Pranks, as well as the follow-up volume, for interviews and invaluable tips from past and current local funny folks as Jello Biafra, Monte Cazazza, Mal Sharpe, and Bruce Conner, among many others.

Wear your heart on your boob

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Do your tassels swing low? Do they shimmy to and fro? Spring is here and as anyone taking a casual stroll in the Castro knows, clothing is optional. The guys have been walking around without shirts since forever, so why not put out and paste up, ladies– your rack was born to shine with red sparkles and dangling ribbons.

Walking in the Haight yesterday, a glimmering set of blue hearts poked me in the face and lured me straight into an adorable lingerie shop for closer inspection. Dollhouse Bettie sports a few different pairs from the Oregon designer, Gothfox Designs, but these bridal satin, royal beauties are classically stunning. These pasties even come with a fancy name, “J’amie l’ocean”, alluding to their oceanic inspiration.

Gothfox Designs

Skip the swimsuit and sport a nifty set of pasties for zero tan lines– the matching trim and tassels are guaranteed to pull in a wave of looks and approvals. 

With tit stickers on the brain, I checked into the featured set at Madame S and was more than pleased with these “Heartbreaker Pasties.” This San Francisco store makes these flattering hearts in their very own latex production lab, located just behind the storefront in the SOMA neighborhood. The tight, naughty black latex will hug your nipples and the blood red trim definitely has the power to make hearts (and organs) pound with desire.

Heartbreaker Pasties

The cup-less bra is a perfect accessory for any pair of pasties– keeps things perky. 

Scared to sport ’em under a blazer like Rihanna? Wear them at home for your lover, test ’em out while vacuuming or put on a one-woman show in the mirror while you practice twirling. And if you really want to throw timid over the bridge, take the breast art for a test cruise during the SF World Naked Bike Ride. I bet you’ll have a hard time taking them off…and not because of the glue. 

Newsom wants more authority for party-crashing cops

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At a time of rising concern about police crackdowns on San Francisco nightlife – including the use of unprovoked brutality, selective harassment, and punitive property seizures – it would seem a strange time to call for abolishing the Entertainment Commission and returning its authority to the San Francisco Police Department. But Mayor Gavin Newsom has now called for doing just that.

Newsom last week refused calls to get involved with mediating a nasty dispute between the SFPD and nightlife workers and advocates, who have filed claims and lawsuits against the city alleging improper police behavior, including a racketeering lawsuit and another lawsuit alleging police retribution against promoter Arash Ghanadan for complaining about mistreatment, for which Police Chief George Gascon is scheduled for a video deposition on April 8 (other depositions involving Gascon and the undercover partners Officer Larry Bertrand and ABC agent Michelle Ott will follow in coming weeks).

The police crackdown, the subject of recent cover stories in both the Guardian and the SF Weekly, has been underway for more than a year and nightlife advocates say it is reminiscent of the arbitrary police enforcement against disfavored clubs and parties in the late 1990s that led to the creation of the Entertainment Commission in the first place.

Making Newsom’s new stance even more puzzling, the commission has been responsive to the overhyped criticism of the commission by nightlife critics, some politicians, and the San Francisco Chronicle and Examimer. The commission voted last night to suspend Suede for shooting out front, a decision that Board of Supervisors President David Chiu (whose North Beach constituents have put pressure on him to rein in problem clubs) cast as a litmus test for the commission, and one it apparently passed. In addition, Commissioner Terrance Alan, who had been criticized for his conflicts of interest, last week announced that he will be stepping down from the commission when his term expires in June. 

“Isn’t anyone paying attention? It’s really got me baffled,” Alan said of the continuing calls to kill the commission. “I don’t know what this is about.”

He isn’t the only one. Commissioner Jim Meko, who had been critical of the commission’s industry-heavy makeup and reluctance to take aggressive action against problem clubs, told the Chronicle that turning permitting and enforcement over to the cops would be much worse.

Sen. Mark Leno, who as a supervisor created the commission back in 2002, agrees. He told us that he opposes the change proposed by Newsom.

“I strongly believe the original reasons for the creation of the commission, an inherent conflict in having the same body that enforces licensing to also issue those licenses, remains,” Leno told us.

Leno also noted that it was only in November that the Board of Supervisors voted to give the commission more authority to suspend the licenses of problem clubs, which they used with Suede, delivering the maximum penalty possible: a 30-day suspension.  

“If they just gave them additional authority, let’s give it a little time to work out before we talk about disbanding them,” Leno said. He also noted that it’s strange to see the mayor and supervisors criticizing the industry-heavy makeup of the commission considering that they’re the one who make those appointments: “That’s in the hands of the board and the mayor.”

Neither Chiu nor Newsom have returned our calls seeking comment, but several Guardian sources with long involvement in the conflict between the SFPD and the nightlife community say the cops – particularly hardasses like Commander James Dudley, who has often made comments critical of nightlife and its promoters — have long sought to have more power over nightclub, private parties, and the citizens who attend them.

But until there is a fair airing of and resolution to the trend of overzealous and belligerent enforcement actions by the SFPD, any move to give that agency more authority to kill the fun in San Francisco is likely to be met with heavy opposition.

 

UPDATE: David Chiu just got back to me, saying Newsom hadn’t consulted him before taking his stand and telling us, “I don’t agree that we need to abolish the commission.”

But as the supervisor from a sometimes-rowdy district that includes a couple of clubs where violence has occurred, Chiu does want to make some changes in how nightlife is governed in San Francisco, seeing a conflict between the Entertainment Commission’s role promoting nightlife and regulating it: “The Entertainment Commission has conflicting missions.”

Chiu said he would like to see nightclub permitting turned over to a body like the Interdepartmental Staff Committee on Traffic and Transportation (ISCOTT), which handles street closure permits and has representatives from several city agencies. It would exist alongside the Entertainment Commission, whose work Chiu said has become “overly politicized” in recent months.

At the same time, Chiu said, “I generally agree with” the Guardian’s coverage of the War of Fun, and said that he’s helped facilitate meetings with SFPD to deal with issues like the inappropriate police seizures of DJ’s laptops: “From my perspective, I want to make sure people’s civil rights aren’t being violated.”

But Chiu said the problem seems to lie more with the California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control than the SFPD: “It appears the ABC has been inappropriately cracking down on the mainstream venues that are trying to do the right thing.”

Chiu said there isn’t a pressing need to act quickly on the Entertainment Commission issue and said that he would work with Leno on the solution, something Leno confirmed, telling us, “I have had some conversations with David Chiu and I’m going to get more involved.”

Judicial candidates: Rod McLeod

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Six candidates are running for two judicial seats in San Francisco, and over the next few weeks, we’ll be interviewing all of them (and at the end of April, we’ll be publishing our endorsements). The interviews make for interesting listening, so we’re posting the sound files on the web. Here’s Rod McLeod, who is one of four candidates seeking to replace retiring judge Wallace Douglass.

 

 

Rod McLeod by endorsements2010

Sit-lie: A city planning issue?

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The City Planning Commission will be taking up the proposed sit-lie law April 1. No, that’s not an April Fool’s joke — city planners are going to take testimony and weigh in on the proposal to ban sitting on the sidewalks. Why is this a planning issue? Well, Commissioner Michael Antonini asked for a hearing to see what other cities do (and he’ll probably push the commission to endorse the law) — and Commissioner Christina Olague wanted to see what impact the law would have on the city’s Pavement to Parks program.

It’s a serious question: A Planning Department staff report (PDF) discusses the issue in some depth, noting that the General Plan suggests that “parts of wide sidewalks can be turned into children’s play areas and sitting areas for adults.” General Plan policy 26.1 calls on the city to “consider the sidewalk as an important element in the citywide open-space system.” After all, streets and sidewalks take up 25 percent of all the land in San Francisco — far more than the parks.

And the Planning Department has been moving actively in the past year to turn more bits of pavement into temporary urban parks, places that used to be streets or sidewalks where people are now encouraged to …. sit. “It is unclear if the ordinance would apply to the temporary plazas and informal seating crated by Pavement to Parks,” the report concludes.

So expect some sparks to fly here, and for a heated debate if the commission tries to take action supporting or opposing the law.

 

Alice Waters protested for supporting using human waste as compost

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By Brady Welch

In a story that continues to amuse and fascinate, it appears that the human biosolids compost shit show we wrote about last week has left town… and ended up in, of all places, Alice Waters’ own backyard garden. That’s right: the seasonal, local, and cage-free proprietor of Berkeley’s fabled Chez Panisse has emerged as a staunch and unlikely defender of fertilizing your garden with sewage sludge compost, which San Francisco officials have recently discontinued giving away because of environmental concerns.

It all started when the Organic Consumers Association found out that Francesca Vietor, executive director of Chez Panisse’s non-profit arm promoting safe and healthy food for kids, was the same Francesca Vietor who is vice president of the SFPUC Board of Commissioners, which had until very recently been pawning off toxic compost made from human waste contaminated with industrial chemicals and heavy metals.

The news was like finding Mom (Chez Panisse) in bed with a Hells Angel (the SFPUC).

But we understand organizational slip-ups happen, and we trusted Waters to do the right thing, issue an apology, and figure out what to do with Vietor. But it turns out that the Bay Area’s advocate for a slow food economy that is “good, clean, and fair,” has decided instead to stand in defense of a system that is, frankly speaking, fast, cheap, and out of control.

On March 23, OCA National Director Ronnie Cummins wrote a letter to Waters asking how this could be. The letter reads, in part:

“Considering that the sludge was given to several local schools for use on their educational gardens, your work with the Edible Schoolyard should especially elicit your concern. This is certainly in direct opposition to the standards that Chez Panisse Foundation and the Edible Schoolyard encourage and uphold. It seems to us a clear conflict of interest that Francesca Vietor should serve as both the Executive Director of the Chez Panisse Foundation and the Vice President of the PUC.”

Waters wrote back March 30:

“I have been involved with the organic garden movement for 40 years. I believe in the transparency of public institutions and count on the government to offer the highest standards outlined by the Organic Consumers Association and other reliable advocates. I look forward to reviewing the science and working with the SFPUC to ensure the safety of composting methods.”

Well, the science is already in, and as we reported, it isn’t pretty; and more, our public institutions aren’t that transparent either, especially when it comes to sewage sludge compost. So on April 1, the OCA plans to hold a protest at noon to commemorate Chez Panisse Café’s 30th anniversary and perhaps remind the East Bay bastion of sustainability why diners have patronized them for so long.

A very special piece of fan mail

The Guardian recently received a hostile letter in response to last week’s cover story, The New War on Fun, which spotlighted the aggressive tactics of two undercover officers at the center of a crackdown on San Francisco nightlife.

Unable to verify the author’s identity, we’ve withheld his name. As champions of free speech, however, we decided to give this writer an opportunity to share his opinion not just with the writers he seeks to attack, but a wider audience of readers, who undoubtedly also hold strong opinions. While this letter might amount to hot air from one individual whose opinion holds about as much sway as any internet troll creeping across the blogosphere, airing it can perhaps shed some light on the mindset of someone who would position progressive values — not to mention fun in San Francisco — squarely in the crosshairs. And it’s kind of funny, too.

The other thing is that the far right has touched off a great deal of discussion as of late, with its bizarro streak on full public display. Receiving a letter crammed with hate-filled speech while witnessing pockets of far-right extremists grab headlines, we thought it best not to ignore it, but to call attention to it.

Without further ado, here is the colorful opinion of one pissed-off Guardian reader, in mostly raw form. 

Dear MR Jones and MRS Bowe
I am writing to you about your story in the SF Bay Guardian Titled The New War On Fun. I think it is in bad taste the way you are putting down fine
officers like Larry Bertrand from the San Francisco police Dept And officer Michelle Ott from the Alcohol Beverage and Control these two officers are doing what they are paid to do and that is to protect the citizens of the city and County of San Francisco. And if they have to CRACK A FEW SKULLS OPEN TO DO IT SO BE IT. I wish this city had a few dozen more OFFICERS like Bertrand and OTTS. Then this city would be a much safer place to live. I mean if these promoters of theses events obey by the laws then everything would be fine but in my opinion these parties should not be allowed in the first place. For where ever A large Group of people gather and there is Booze present there bound to be trouble. and if these promoters are to STUPID to realize that then i say to bad for them if POLICE OFFICERS LIKE BERTRAND AND OTT HAVE TO BUST UP THE PARTY AND START DOING SOME HEAD BUTTING AND ARRESTING ALL THOSE INVOLVED all I can say to that is OH WELL MORE POWER TO THESE FINE EXAMPLES OF POLICE OFFICERS . Even if it means confiscating every piece of equipment there. And making a few arrest even better.

For I know that a lot of the people that attend these after hour events are MINORS and way under the legal drinking age. I know this for a fact for I have a good friend that use to be a bartender in one of these after hour clubs and he told me he has seen more teenagers in these clubs getting loaded to the gills. he told me that some of the other bartenders never asked to see there id’s they just took there money and gave them there drinks. My friend got reprimanded several times from the promoters of the event as well as his boss for asking for there ID’S. Look these places will let any one in if they just look older. OR they slip the Doorman a few bucks and he looks the other way. And all i can say about the Promoter’S AND THE OWNERS OF THE PLACES WHERE THESE PARTIES TAKE PLACE THEY SHOULD KNOW THAT FINE OUTSTANDING OFFICES LIKE LARRY BERTRAND AND MICHAEL OTT show up knowing there record for doing so is TOO BAD FOR THEM..

But on the other hand what can i expect from a LIBERAL YELLOW JOURNALISTIC RAG LIKE THE SF BAY GUARDIAN TO RUN A ONE SIDED PIECE OF TRASH STORY AND MAKING THE COPS LOOK LIKE THE BAD GUYS. AND MAKING THESE POOR PROMOTERS AND CLUB OWNERS AND PARTY GOER’S INNOCENT VICTIMS OF CIRCUMSTANCES. HELL THESE CLUB OWNERS ARE BREAKING THE LAW BY SELLING BOOZE TO UNDER AGE MINORS THEN THESE GUYS GET DRUNK AND THEN TRY TO DRIVE HOME WHERE SOME OF THESE IDIOTS BLOOD ALCOHOL IS WAY ABOVE THE LEGAL LIMIT. SO THEN THEY EITHER KILL SOME INNOCENT PERSON OR KILL THEM SELVES. AND ITS LIBERAL REPORTERS LIKE YOURSELVES AND THE BOARD OF STUPID-VISORS IN THIS CITY THAT AGREE TO THESE EVENTS.

If I were Mayor of this City I would call a press conference with every major news paper TV And Radio and make EXCELLENT EXAMPLES OF THESE TWO FINE OFFICERS. And to give them each a certificate of Merit and Valor in going beyond there call and line of duty. MR JONES AND MRS BOWE I bet you would be singing a different tune if someone you know and love got hurt or killed by someone who left one of these after hours events loaded with BOOZE and tried to drive home and got in to a wreck and killed themselves or killed or crippled an innocent person and that person could be someone you know. And then again knowing liberals like i do you might say oh-well they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I Emailed a copy of yourarticle To my Uncle who is a retired NY CITY Police OFFICER of 40 years. And he has several awards and medals for Valor and Bravery and for doing things beyond the CALL OF DUTY. He Said if these STUPID PROMOTERS tried that in HIS CITY not only would they be facing jail time and major fines. they might have a little accident on the way to the squad car and to the station-house. He did not say what kind of accident but knowing him it would be one they would not forget. For my uncle is also an ex UNITED STATES NAVY SEAL TRAINER. SO he knows how to inflect excruciating Paine on someone without leaving any signs of what happened. My Uncle hates these SOB’S who throw these types of parties for legal reasons and for personal reasons. and he got infuriated when he read your article. HE called your paper A PIECE of SHIT paper that he would not even let his bird CRAP ON.

but he said what do you expect from a STUPID CITY LIKE SAN FRANCISCO WHERE THE F—– PRACTICALLY RUN THE TOWN. AND WHERE MOST OF THE PEOPLE VOTED FOR THAT N—– OBAMA. AND THAT UGLY WITCH NANCY PELOSI. WELL IKE I SAID I HOPE THAT THESE
PROMOTERS AND CLUB OWNERS GET MORE THEN JUST A SLAP ON THE WRIST AND A FINE I SAY THAT THEY SHOULD BE TOSSED IN JAIL AND OR PRISON FOR WHAT THEY ARE DOING HOLDING THESE EVENTS AND LETTING MINORS IN TO THESE EVENTS AND LETTING THEM GET STONED. BUT THEN IF IT WERE NOT FOR LEFTIST MAGAZINES LIKE THE SAN FRANCISCO BAY GUARDIAN THEY WOULD NOT GET ANY PUBLICITY AT ALL. AND IF THESE STUPID PROMOTERS AND CLUB OWNERS DON’T LIKE BEING FORCED TO OBEY THE LAW THEN LET THESE STINKING PROMOTERS AND CLUB OWNERS FACE THE FULL WRATH OF THE LAW . .

SO ALL I CAN SAY ABOUT YOUR ARTICLE IS IT IS A LEFT WINGED PIECE OF YELLOW JOURNALISM. THE SAME TYPE OF LEFT WINGED COMMUNISTIC PROPAGANDA THEY USE TO PUT OUT IN THE 60’S SO TAKE CARE YOU TWO PINKO COMMY AND TO YOUR LEFT WINGED COMMY PAPER YOU WRITE FOR. NO WOUNDER IT’S FREE NO ONE WOULD WANT TO BY IT. AND YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR YOUR PAPER BY LETTING SICK PROMOTERS OF PERVERTED PORNOGRAPHY ADVERTISE IN IT AND THESE SO CALLED DOPE DESPNCERIES WHO I THINK SHOULD BE ALL SHUT DONE PERMANENTLY AND THE PEOPLE WHO OWN THEM BE THROWN IN TO A MAXIMUM FEDERAL PRISON FOR AT LEAST 40 YEARS WITH NO CHANCE OF PAROLE.

SINCERELY,

[name withheld]

Levada takes on the Times

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Cardinal William Levada, former archbishop of San Francisco Catholic Archdiocese of San Francisco, has penned a caustic response to recent New York Times articles and editorials that were critical of how the church and Pope Benedict XVI have handled sexual abuse cases involving priests over the years, calling the coverage “deficient by any reasonable standards of fairness that Americans have every right and expectation to find in their major media reporting.”

This bold, Spiro Agnew-like counterattack on the press during a time of mounting evidence of a covered-up pedophilia epidemic in the church is all the more notable given that Levada is the Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, an office then-Cardinal Ratzinger held before becoming Pope Benedict XVI, helping to place that office in charge of all reports of pedophiliac priests, a move that critics have charged was made to shield the church from criticism.

“I ask the Times to reconsider its attack mode about Pope Benedict XVI and give the world a more balanced view of a leader it can and should count on,” Levada writes, giving a far more charitable view of the current pope than the general public is feeling right now.

Rather than these defensive counterattacks on the Times’ solid journalism and analysis, Levada should realize that this tactic is precisely the attitude that has people concerned about the church, which has yet to fully atone for its many sins, including those committed by the Pope.

Back home in San Francisco, the church continues to stiff the city for millions of dollars in real estate transfer taxes involving the deed transfers of hundreds of properties under Levada’s leadership, a strange move that many critics have speculated was done to shield church assets from the claims of sexual abuse victims.

To me, this seems deficient by any reasonable standards of morality and openness that Americans have every right and expectation to find in their major religious institutions, particularly one that aspires to leadership that we can and should count on.

Ross on the road: The great white north

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Editors note: Guardian correspondent John Ross is traveling across the nation pomoting his new book, El Monstruo — Dread & Redemption in Mexico City, and is sending us dispatches from the road. This week: Twin Cities, Madison and Northern Michigan.


 1. BLUE IGLOO


As I deplaned the Southwest Shuttle from Denver wrapped in my blue igloo, a puffed up garment that doubles my skeletal girth, a sudden spasm of panic punched me in the gut. Had I slept through my stop and disembarked in Fargo, North Dakota instead?
Minneapolis might just as well have been Fargo. The dead winter landscape lay frozen under week-old snowdrifts and the Twin Cities shivered in negative wind chill numbers beneath a leaden sky from which a cold hard rain would pelt down for a week. Fargo or Minneapolis? It didn’t much matter where I had landed – just don’t toss me into the wood chipper.


On my first evening in this desolate region, I was invited to dialogue with the Minnesota Immigrant Freedom Network at a community center in St. Paul. About 15 transplanted Mexicans, many of them related by marriage or friendship, pulled together in a circle in the gymnasium while the kids romped in the other room. Each called out his or hers’ “patria chica,” their home state or region or town. I talked about Mexico down on the ground today in the cheerless winter of 2010, the 100th anniversary of a distant revolution. How four out of every ten heads of households are out of work. 10,000 farmers and their families forced to abandon their milpas as millions of tons of NAFTA corn inundate the country. 19,000 dead in Felipe Calderon’s disastrous attempt to beat down the drug cartels. Who will be next?


Those in the circle leaned forward on their folding chairs, bending into my words as if I was a messenger bringing bad news from home. One woman began to weep and another rose to comfort her.


Later, I pulled out my book, El Monstruo – Dread & Redemption in Mexico City to show them what I had written. Families who would probably not eat meat for a week if they bought one snapped up three Monsters and asked me to sign them for their children — Alejandra, Yesica, Jeni, Alfonso, Jonaton — so that they could learn about the country they had been forced to abandon, in their new language.


As the session wound down, Mariano (not his real name) invited the families to a Jewish Seder the next week at a progressive Minneapolis schul. Then they would get on the buses and head for Washington D.C., a 150 hour round trip, to march for immigration reform on March 21st, the first day of spring. In the nooks and crannies of Obama’s America, Mexicans were beginning to come out of four years of social hibernation to rally for immigration reform, not a hot button issue in this economically strewn landscape.


I hung up with my old camarada Tomas Johnson, one of the apostles of fair trade Zapatista coffee — similar dispensaries like Just Coffee in Madison and Higher Grounds in Michigan are sprinkled over the frigid Midwest. Café has played a diminished role in the slender Zapatista economy ever since Muk’Vitz, a Tzotzil Indian cooperative, imploded when coffee prices soared — coyotes, bottom-feeder speculators, started showing up on the members’ doorsteps offering a few pesos more than the fair trade price.


Coffee is not an ideal resource upon which to build Zapatista autonomy — the price is set far away on commodity exchanges in London and New York and the product itself is destined for the jaded palettes of the connoisseur class in the cities of the north. Moreover, the coffee crop soaks up corn land and adds nothing to indigenous nutrition.


I marked my journey into my 73rd year at a house fiesta hosted by Tomas’s steady squeeze, an audiologist who gifted me with a hearing aid so that I might be able to decipher that questions hurled at me from the small audiences I address. This time last year, I was being wheeled into a green, antiseptic operating room for a round of chemotherapy that would k.o. the tumor that had taken over my liver. This birthday is the real gift.


I entertained privileged white students at several universities during my stay in the Twin Cities, got hopelessly lost in a frigid wasteland trying to find a Lutheran college, told tall tales to a handful of Raza at the U. of Minn, and attended a showing of the Benny More bio-pic at a jam-packed local theater. Benny’s scintillating calor radiating from the screen in waves of tropical heat juxtaposed oddly against the backdrop of the frozen north. Minneapolis-St Paul, with their new populations of color – Somalis, Ethiopians, Eritreans, Hmung, and Latinos – spice up this staid old state with exotic flavors. The music has changed: Reggaeton and Rancheros have replaced Spider John Koerner. I drink in the Albert Ayler-like contortions of a longhaired white boy at a jam session downstairs at the Clown Lounge.


Politics too are not as usual in this once-upon-a-time farmer-labor socialist paradise: Keith Ellison is the nation’s first Muslim congress person and a middle-of-the-road Democrat comedian stands small in the shoes of Paul Wellstone. In the other corner, the pit viper Michelle Bachman spits her venom into the black lagoons of Obamalandia.


II. TURKEY MOLE


I’m back on the Big Dog — there are plenty of Mexicans here but no Mexican bus. On the jump over to Madison, I chat with a well-seasoned black man during a smoke break. He wants to know where I’m headed. I’m on a low-rent book tour, I explain, I move from city to city to sell my books. “I’m on a book tour myself,” he laughs, “I get off where I want to and see if I like it or not. Hung up in Oswego for eight days but wasn’t anything there for me…”


There is a down-at-the-heels traveling class — the evicted and foreclosed, laid off and uprooted — rolling around the underbelly of this damaged country with no fixed destination in mind, looking for a place to light, some place that feels like home.


Norm Stockwell, who keeps WORT-FM, the Voice of Madison’s Voiceless, choogling, picks me up at the Greyhound depot, a furniture-less warehouse that resembles an immigrant detention center on the outskirts of town, and drives me over to the once-a-month Socialist pot-luck, but only scraps and few stained paper plates are left. A few hours earlier, the Madison P.D. visited the premises at the behest of the Wisconsin Socialist Party to remove a truculent member who had been abruptly expelled from its ranks, an astonishingly unpolitical resolution to a political dispute.


Madison is a city that doesn’t leave much up to chance. Cops are ever at the ready to surveil radical meetings. One cannot post a hand-scrawled street sign protesting injustice without first obtaining a permit from the city. No household is allowed to house more than three chickens (no roosters), a law that necessitates chicken inspectors and has given birth to the Chicken Liberation Front.


The State Capitol, a knock-off the Nation’s, is forever on the eyeline in Madison to remind one of the power of the State, I expect. The city is laid out on a grid so that all avenues spoke off from its monstrous dome – you have to move out of town to escape the radiation.


On Saturday, March 20th, a fistful of eternal protestors gathered at the foot of this granite beast to mark the start of the eighth year of the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq and the decimation of millions of its people. As I trudged up State Street towards the Capitol, I flashed back to our feverish days as Human Shields in Baghdad in March 2003 and thought about Sasha for whom the war never goes home, climbing the hills of Amman, delivering collateral repair from dawn to dusk to the million Iraqi refugees that forgotten war has exiled to the Jordanian capitol.


Our presidents invade so many foreign countries that they can’t even remember the name of the last one they destroyed. Iraq has been erased from the North American mind screen in favor of Afghanistan, the Good War on Obama’s agenda. Last month, Sasha and Mary’s Collateral Repair Project took in just $50 in donations and CRP is in danger of folding. Send them some Yanqui shekels at (www.collateralrepairproject.org.)


The annual commemoration of the Iraqi genocide draws smaller and smaller knots of humanity each year — 80 or so souls in Madison, 500 in San Francisco, not 10,000 in Washington. But the next day, as Baracko’s Dems braved the racist jibes and hard fruit of the Teabaggers to enter the hallowed halls of Congress and narrowly vote up a phony health care reform bill that excludes immigrants from coverage and leaves the insurance congloms on top, 200,000 assembled outside to back up a proposed immigration reform that smells just as cheesy as Obamacare.


The rally proved to be the largest confluence of immigrant workers since that miraculous May 1st four years ago when millions came out of the shadows to shout “aqui estamos y no nos vamos.” After that milestone moment, the immigrant rights movement was driven into the underground by Bush’s ICE raids, Lou Dobbs, the Minutemen, real-time Mexico bashing with knives and bottles, Sheriff Joe’s Arizona storm troopers, good ol’ American-as-apple-pie racism, and the squeamish response of the official Latino leadership.


Now the indocumentados are taking their first baby steps back into the maelstrom of U.S. politics. Hundreds of grassroots groups like the Minnesota Immigration Freedom Network rented buses and drove off to Washington on the first day of spring and May 1st, the day on which immigrant workers first took to the streets of America 124 years ago in the battle for the eight hour day, now looms large on the calendar of resistance.


Lester Dore is a graphic artist who operates under the influence of the king of the calaveras Jose Guadalupe Posada, the brothers Flores Magon, and the breathtaking explosion of popular art that detonated on the walls of Oaxaca during the 2006 uprising in that southern city. Lester whips up a pair of prints to celebrate the publication of “El Monstruo” and the life after death of Praxides G. Guerrero, the first anarchist to fall in the 100 year-old-this-year Mexican revolution. He serves up a big pot of Mole de Guajalote (Turkey) and invites us over. Three compas from Toluca in Mexico State share the sumptuous repast and the conversation quickly slides into Mexican. I learn the origin of the Chilango-ismo “teparocha” (falling down drunk) but eschew the vino (the liver lives on.)


III. SANCTUARY IN THE HEARTLAND


Driving the long route around Lake Superior into northern Michigan, the first tentative fingers of spring have brought a thawing to the land. The cherries that draw thousands of migrant workers to the Lower Peninsula are threatening to burst into bud. Gladys Munoz (her real name) directs Migrant Health Services for seven northern Michigan counties. She is based in Traverse City, a comfortable upper crust enclave — the billion buck mansions out on the peninsula are in the El Chapo Guzman category of ostentation (Michael Moore is rumored to be in residence in the environs ensconced in a lavish log cabin roughly the size of downtown Flint.)


Gladys knows where the bodies are buried. We ply the backroads to the labor camps hidden away down in the dank gullies. Guatemalans and Mexicans stream into this region each spring to do the stoop labor no gringo will do and pick the Maraschinos that top off the parfaits of the few upwardly mobile Americans left in the wake of the ravaged economy (Michigan unemployment clocks in around 15%.) Gladys tells me about three babies born without brains — she suspects pesticides. She speaks about a man from Chiapas who hung himself when he found out that he had contacted AIDS — a priest was called upon to perform an exorcism at the house where he expired. And a young Triqui Indian mother from Oaxaca picking cucumbers for a Vlasic pickle contractor who was stranded in a country that doesn’t recognize her language after her husband went fishing for supper without a license and Fish & Game turned him over to the Migra.


We visit with Liliana (not her real name) from the drug war-riddled hot lands of Guerrero state. The patron is a kindly old farmer who has installed cable TV for the workers and we watch Barack Obama extol the wonders of his tarnished health care bill. Liliana’s husband is picking oranges in Florida but will soon return to work the cherry. She says he doesn’t much believe that an immigration reform measure will make it out of congress – “just some more blahblahblah…” But Liliana will march this May 1st if she can get a ride — undocumented workers are not permitted drivers’ licenses in the state of Michigan.


Traverse City is good to me. I perform at a local organic coffee roaster for a roomful of social change agents. The next morning, Jody T. who gave up her life to drive this garrulous old gaffer around the bioregion, steers the Viva into a trepidatious triangle. Cadillac was once the home base for Timothy McVeigh and the Michigan Militia, a recent flashback on the Ten O’clock News after a Christian posse purportedly targeted cops for blood sacrifice in preparation for the appearance of the Anti-Christ. To the west, small towns with Dutch-inflected names like Holland and Zeeland and Vreland dot the lakeside.


White clapboard outposts of the Dutch Reform Church, the architect of South African apartheid, their steeples spiring piously into the spring breeze, hug the highway. The Dutch Reform Church is the spiritual home of the Prinz family whose most celebrated spawn, Eric, is the go to guy at Blackwater. Further south we slide into Grand Rapids where the similarly affiliated DeVos dynasty’s Amway holds sway. The Prinzes and the DeVoses (a good reason not to root for the Orlando Magic) finance such repositories of right-wing fanaticism as Focus On The Family and Operation Rescue. The largesse of Dick DeVos rivaled the Mormon Church in putting California’s homophobic Proposition 8 over the top.


Grand Rapids, once the furniture capitol of the known universe and now the home of the Gerald Ford Museum of Presidential Imbeciles, is a good boxing town (Buster Mathis and Roger Mayweather have gyms here) and a swelling Latino population has changed the complexion of the city. Despite the downturn, Grand Rapids is trying to upgrade its downtown but the further one gets from the core of the city, the seedier things look.


Koinonia House is a sanctuary near the old demolished heart of Grand Rapids — in fact, it is the only structure left standing on its block. Established by disaffected seminarians like Jeff Smith in the early 1980s when the U.S. waged war on Central America, K House became a station on the underground railroad built by the Sanctuary Movement. The first refugees were Guatemalan Indians fleeing the scorched earth genocide of Efrain Rios Montt. In recent years, K House has taken in Mexicans fleeing that “desgraciada pobreza” back home, like Carlos and Alynn (their real names) who have brought their remarkable art with them to El Norte.


Jeff kicks back and reminisces about the fates of former tenants. The big-bellied wood stove belches out waves of warmth on a chill late March morning. The big arms of the fluffy old lounger envelop a weary traveler and hold him close. K House remains a sanctuary deep in the heart of a wounded land.


Stay tuned. Chicago, St Louis, Jackson Mississippi – there is still a whole lot of traveling to do as the Monstruo tour moves eastwards.               


FIN


John Ross and “El Monstruo – Dread & Redemption in Mexico City” will visit St. Louis April 4th-7th, and Millsaps College Jackson Mississippi April 9th for a symposium on Mexico City – he will tour Baltimore, Washington, New York, and Boston April 19th through May 1st. For details write johnross@igc.org.

Trash talk

3

Sarah@sfbg.com

The battle to win San Francisco’s lucrative garbage disposal contract turned nasty as city officials tentatively recommended it go to Recology (formerly Norcal Waste Systems), causing its main competitor, Oakland-based Waste Management, to claim the selection process was flawed and bad for the environment.

Recology is proposing to dispose of San Francisco’s nonrecyclable trash at its Ostrom Road landfill in Yuba County, which is double the distance of the city’s current dump. The contract, worth hundreds of millions of dollars, would run until 2025.

For the past three decades, the city has trucked its trash 62 miles to the Altamont landfill near Livermore, under an agreement that relied on the services of the Sanitary Fill Company (now Recology’s SF Recycling and Disposal) and Oakland Scavenger Company (now Waste Management of Alameda County).

That agreement allowed up to 15 million tons of San Francisco’s municipal solid waste to be handled at Altamont or 65 years of disposal, whichever came first. As of Dec. 31, 2007, approximately 11.9 million tons of the capacity had been used, leaving a balance of 3.1 million tons, which the city estimates will be used up by 2015.

Currently Recology collects San Francisco’s curbside trash, hauls it to Pier 96, which is owned by the Port of San Francisco, then sends nonrecyclables to the Altamont landfill operated by Waste Management.

After SF’s Department of the Environment issued a request for qualifications in 2007, Waste Management, Recology, and Republic Services were selected as finalists. The city then sent the three companies a request for proposals, asking for formal bids as well as details of how they would minimize and mitigate impacts to the environment, climate, and host communities, among other criteria.

Republic was dropped after a representative failed to show at a mandatory meeting, and Recology was selected during a July 2009 review by a committee composed of DOE deputy director David Assmann, city administrator Ed Lee and Oakland’s environmental manager Susan Kattchee.

The score sheet suggests that the decision came down to price, which was 25 percent of the total points and made the difference between Recology’s 85 points and Waste Management’s 80 in the average scores of the three reviewers. But the scores revealed wide disparities between Kattchee’s and Lee’s scores, suggesting some subjectivity in the process.

For instance, Kattchee and Lee awarded Recology 15 and 23 points, respectively, for its “approach and adherence to overarching considerations.” Kattchee awarded 13 points to Recology’s “ability to accommodate City’s waste stream,” while Lee gave it 24 points. And Kattchee awarded Waste Management 13 points and Lee gave it 20 for its proposed rates.

When the selections and scores were unveiled in November, Waste Management filed a protest letter; Yuba County citizens coalition YUGAG (Yuba Group against Garbage) threatened to sue; and Matt Tuchow, president of the city’s Commission on Environment, scheduled a hearing to clarify how the city’s proposals was structured, how it scored competing proposals, and why it tentatively awarded Recology the contract.

Emotions ran high during the March 23 hearing, which did little to clarify why Recology was selected. Assmann said that much of the material that supports the city’s selection can’t be made public until the bids are unsealed, which won’t happen until the city completes negotiations with Recology and the proposal heads to the Board of Supervisors for approval.

YUGAG attorney Brigit Barnes said Recology’s proposal could negatively affect air quality in Alameda, Contra Costa, Solano, Yolo, Sacramento, and Yuba counties, and does not attain maximum possible reductions of greenhouse gas emissions. Barnes pointed to a study commissioned by Waste Management showing the company’s biomethane-fueled trucks emit 68 percent fewer greenhouse gases than Recology’s proposed combination of trucks and trains.

Barnes further warned that Recology’s proposal might violate what she called “environmental justice strictures,” noting that “Yuba County has one of the lowest per capita incomes and one of the highest dependent populations in the state.”

She also claimed that awarding the contract to Recology would create a monopoly over the city’s waste stream and could expose the city to litigation. “Every aspect of garbage collection and waste treatment will be handled by Norcal’s companies,” Barnes stated, referring to antitrust laws against such monopolies.

Deputy City Attorney Tom Owen subsequently confirmed that the two main companies that handle San Francisco’s waste are Recology subsidiaries. “But it’s an open system,” Owen told the Guardian. “Recology would be the licensed collectors and would have the contract for disposal of the city’s trash.”

Irene Creps, a retired schoolteacher who lives in San Francisco and Yuba County, suggested at the hearing that the city should better compare the environmental characteristics of Ostrom Road and the Altamont landfill before awarding the contract. She said the Ostrom Road landfill poses groundwater concerns since it lies in a high water table next to a slough and upstream from a cemetery.

“It’s good agricultural land, especially along the creeks, red dirt that is wonderful for growing rice because it holds water,” Creps said of Recology’s site. “I’d hate to see that much garbage dumped on the eastern edge of Sacramento Valley.”

Livermore City Council member Jeff Williams said the Altamont landfill has the space to continue to dispose of San Francisco’s waste and he warned that Livermore will lose millions of dollars in mitigation fees it uses to preserve open space.

“Waste Management has done a spectacular job of managing the landfill and they have a best-in-their-class methane control system,” Williams said, noting that the company runs its power plants on electricity and its trucks on liquid methane derived from the dump.

Williams pointed out that the Altamont landfill is in a dry hilly range that lies out of sight, behind the windmills on the 1,000-foot high Altamont Pass. “It’s many miles from our grapevines, in an area used for cattle grazing because it’s not particularly fertile land,” Williams said. “We are filling valleys, not building mountains.”

Waste Management attorney John Lynn Smith told the commission that the city’s RFP process was flawed because it didn’t request a detailed analysis of transportation to the landfill sites or fully take into account greenhouse gas emissions, posing the question: “So, did you really get the best contract?”

David Gavrich, who runs San Francisco Bay Railroad and Waste Solutions Group, testified that he helped negotiate the city’s contract 35 years ago, saving taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars, and that the city needs to be smarter about this contract.

Gavrich and port director Monique Moyer wrote to the Department of the Environment in June 2009, stating their belief that shipping trash by rail directly from the port “can not only minimize environmental impacts, but can also provide an anchor of rail business from the port, and a key economic engine for the local Bayview-Hunters Point community, and the city as a whole.” But Gavrich said DOE never replied, even though green rail from San Francisco creates local jobs and further reduces emissions.

“Let the hearings begin so people get more than one minute to speak on a billion-dollar contract,” Gavrich said, citing the time limit imposed on speakers at the commission hearing.

Wheatland resident Dr. Richard A. Paskowitz blamed former Mayor Willie Brown’s close connection to Recology mogul Michael Sangiacomo for the company’s success in pushing through a state-approved 1988 extension of its Ostrom Road Landfill while assuring Yuba County residents that the site would only be used as a local landfill.

“The issue is that Yuba County is becoming the repository of garbage from Northern California,” Paskowitz said, claiming that the site already accepts trash from Nevada.

Members of the commission told Assmann that they wanted an update on the transportation issue, but they appeared to believe the process was fair. “One guy got the better score,” Commissioner Paul Pelosi Jr. said. “The fact that they may or may not have permits or the best location, that’s for the Board of Supervisors to take up.”

Recology spokesperson Adam Alberti told the Guardian that its bid was predominantly about handling the waste stream. “Everybody’s bid included transportation, so you include the cost of getting the trash there. But primarily we were looking at the cost of handing the city’s waste,” Alberti said. “Recology’s Ostrom Road facility has more than enough capacity to hold not only San Francisco’s, but also the surrounding region’s, waste.”

Alberti said Recology is still pursuing a permit for a rail spur to get the waste from Union Pacific’s line, which ends some 100 yards from Ostrom Road site. Still, he said the company is confident it will be awarded, calling this step “a pro forma application with Yuba County.” Alberti also noted that it’s normal for host communities to object to landfills but that Yuba County stands to gain $1.6 million from the deal in annual mitigation fees.

Assmann told the Guardian the selection process took into account issues raised at the hearing. “The important thing in a landfill is to make sure there is no seepage, no matter how much rainfall there is, “Assmann said. “And there are still two hurdles Recology needs to clear: a successful negotiation, and the approval of the board.”

Our Endorsements: For DCCC

10

The Democratic County Central Committee isn’t the most high-profile elected agency in San Francisco, but it’s really important. The committee sets policy for the local Democratic Party — and that includes endorsements. The people who control the committee control a slate card that goes out to every registered Democrat in the city, and that’s a vast majority of the voters. DCCC endorsements, carrying the imprimatur of the party, have a significant impact on local elections, particularly in district supervisor races.

For years, the DCCC was controlled largely by the old Brown-Burton machine, but two years ago, the progressives took back control, and that made a huge difference in electing good supervisors. The DCCC endorsement will also matter in the next mayor’s race.

The folks downtown realize this. David Latterman, a political consultant who often works with more moderate candidates and interest groups, sent a memo out March 17 titled “Headed toward the cliff in 2010 elections.” The memo, which we’ve obtained, argues that downtown and the moderates need to get organized, now: “If we can have one person run a coordinated effort with $150K … we can really pick up DCCC seats. Only a few will make a difference in the fall endorsements. The mayor’s race starts now.”

So it’s crucial that the progressives turn out to vote June 8, and vote for strong candidates for the DCCC who will support district elections, public power, tenant rights — and progressive candidates for supervisor.

We’ll be publishing endorsements for all of the June primary races and ballot measures in a few weeks, but we’ve decided to do early endorsements for the DCCC. Twelve people are elected from each assembly district. Here are our choices:

 

ASSEMBLY DISTRICT 12

John Avalos

Michael Borenstein

Sandra Lee Fewer

Chris Gembinski

Hene Kelly

Eric Mar

Milton Marks

Jake McGoldrick

Jane Morrison

Melanie Nutter

Connie O’Connor

Larry Yee

 

ASSEMBLY DISTRICT 13

David Campos

David Chiu

Michael Goldstein

Robert Haaland

Joseph Julian

Rafael Mandelman

Kim-Shree Maufas

Carole Migden

Aaron Peskin

Eric Quezada

Alix Rosenthal

Debra Walker

 

Building better buses

3

By Adam Lesser

news@sfbg.com

GREEN CITY To hear Jaimie Levin talk is to understand that his cause is larger than just promoting alternative fuels for public transportation. “We either pay the tax ourselves or we pay the tax of sending money to the Middle East,” he said as we walked through the noisy AC Transit bus yard in East Oakland. “There’s a human cost of lives lost in a foreign war.”

AC Transit uses 6.5 million gallons of diesel per year. As the agency’s director of alternative fuels policy, it’s Levin’s job to lower that number. He has experimented with biodiesel and gas-electric hybrid buses. But the passion that consumes him these days is hydrogen. He has spent the last 10 years testing and deploying three hydrogen fuel cell buses for AC Transit, and he’s ready for more.

The first of 12 new hydrogen fuel cell buses begin arriving from Belgium at the end of April, doubling the number of fuel cell buses operating in the United States. They will run on multiple lines, including the 57, 18, and the NL transbay route, which runs between San Francisco and Oakland.

Levin promotes a mix of energy sources, but he argues that hydrogen is the best way to go, even if there’s a big near-term problem: the price of a hydrogen fuel cell bus. The new buses cost $2.5 million each compared to a standard diesel bus, which runs $400,000. Levin describes the buses as research vehicles and works with the National Renewable Energy Laboratory to monitor their performance.

“It’s not cheap. We understand that. These are still hand-made. We’re talking about making less than 20 vehicles,” he says. Levin is hopeful that if orders for hydrogen fuel cell buses could reach even 200, the cost of the fuel cells would come down by 45 percent. Levin has secured 16 different grants from federal, state, and regional agencies, ranging from the Federal Transportation Administration to the California Air Resources Board, to cover the $57 million program. The use of outside funds has been critical at a time when AC Transit is cutting service to deal with its budget shortfall.

The cost of the hydrogen fuel itself has caused some to ask if it’s a viable alternative to gasoline. A kilogram of hydrogen, which is equivalent to a gallon of gas in terms of energy content, typically costs $7-$8. But hydrogen fuel cells are twice as energy efficient as internal combustion engines.

AC Transit currently gets its hydrogen fuel from its own production facility that it built with Chevron, which is regularly criticized by environmental and human rights groups for everything from pollution to obscene profits to support for despotic regimes. “Chevron Hydrogen” billboards plaster the bus yard, and the logos are yellow and baby blue, a noticeable difference compared to the traditional blue and red Chevron insignia. There’s an ecofriendly, sunny quality to the branding.

But come September, Chevron will exit its collaboration with AC Transit, which will begin purchasing its hydrogen from a Linde plant in Southern California. Part of the reason is that the Chevron-designed system does not have the capacity to produce hydrogen for 12 buses. Industry watchers note that oil companies have scaled back initial forays into hydrogen, perhaps not wanting to facilitate the transition from fossil fuels.

“The big issue is the infrastructure side. What’s cooling it off right now is how far the oil companies have backed off,” said Tim Lipman, codirector of the UC Berkeley Transportation Sustainability Research Center. “If you’re an oil company, you’ve got to figure you’re going to lose money for a while — and you’re making tons of money in your existing business. It’s not broken right now. They don’t see an advantage of being the first to market. We’re not running out of oil.”

Maybe not yet, but between the global warming impacts of oil and the increased cost of extracting oil after the most readily available supplies peak, there is a pressing need to develop alternatives to fossil fuels.

“The oil companies were getting all sorts of pressure to get off oil and carbon so they go out looking for an alternative that looks good and takes the longest to implement. Hydrogen is perfect,” said David Redstone, editor of Hydrogen and Fuel Cell Investor, who has covered hydrogen for more than 10 years.

After studying hydrogen for so many years, Redstone has become skeptical about its real potential. “I was a believer when I started,” he told us. “I learned a lot. I knew a lot less when I started. I knew a lot less about the engineering and cost issues involved.”

For example, fuel cells require platinum, which acts as a catalyst to help burn hydrogen fuel. There is ongoing research to reduce the amount of platinum needed in a fuel cell, and exploratory work with less expensive catalysts like nickel. But for now and in the foreseeable future, hydrogen is still a very expensive technology. “They’ve been demonstrating these fuel cell buses for 20 years. It’s like the mentality at the companies involved is that it’s perfectly normal to be a demonstration technology forever,” added Redstone.

He believes that the realistic solutions to the overuse of fossil fuels lie in a mix of behavioral changes and economic incentives, not technological silver bullets. Stop suburban sprawl, get people to live closer to work, and start taxing carbon. Or in Redstone’s simpler terms, you’ve got to put an end to “assholes commuting 75 miles to work in a Hummer.”

The International Panel on Climate Change estimates that surface temperatures will rise 2 degrees to 11.5 degrees Farenheit in the 21st century. Greenhouse gas emissions are a major contributor to global warming.

The promise of hydrogen fuel is that its only emission is water. The major criticism of the move toward battery electric plug-in vehicles has been that the power to charge batteries comes from a power grid that is frequently a heavy greenhouse gas emitter. Half of the electricity generation in the U.S. comes from coal, the dirtiest of the fossil fuels.

But the hitch with hydrogen fuel is how to make it. You can’t drill for hydrogen, you have to create it in a process that requires energy. The predominant source for hydrogen fuel is natural gas, which emits less carbon than gasoline but is still a fossil fuel.

The holy grail of alternative energy is an efficient method for making hydrogen fuel from water instead of natural gas. The problem has been the significant amount of energy required to electrolyze water, to split apart H2O to make hydrogen fuel.

Levin believes he has the beginning of an answer. Before the end of 2010, AC Transit will complete its installation of a solar-powered proton electrolyzer in Emeryville. Solar panels will be built atop the roof of the hydrogen fueling station and the solar energy trapped will power the electrolyzer, in turn producing hydrogen fuel from water, hopefully about 60 kilograms per day, enough to power two buses. Levin received $6.4 million from the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act for the project. The remaining 10 hydrogen fuel cell buses will rely on hydrogen fuel made from natural gas.

As important as the production of hydrogen fuel are the pump stations to deliver it. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s promised “hydrogen highway” hasn’t happened. The initial plans called for 50 to 100 stations by the end of 2010, and a station every 50 miles, but there are now just 21 stations clustered in urban areas. And with oil companies withdrawing their support and government agencies hurting for resources, the hydrogen highway remains as far off as ever.

“I see the power of corporations growing and the power of politicians actually waning,” Lipman said. “Who is really going to benefit the most? It’s society and consumers, but they’re not going to lobby for it.”

When it comes to lobbying, few can outgun the power of the Western States Petroleum Association. WSPA is consistently among the top few lobbyists in California, spending $10.5 million to influence the Legislature in 2007-08. Even with the push for alternative energy options, it’s oil that really governs the debate. Relatively inexpensive and easily storable, oil is still king even as gasoline prices hover at $80 a barrel.

“We will never run out of oil, but the question is, can we afford it?” said WSPA spokesperson Tupper Hull. Rising oil prices have helped proponents of alternative energy because the cost spread between gasoline and other energy options has narrowed. But they worry that momentum will be lost if the recession lingers and oil drops in price.

Proponents of the “peak oil” theory say we are approaching a point at which global oil production will start declining, necessitating a rapid and potentially painful transition to new fuels. But identifying the peak is difficult, complicated by events such as the 2007 discovery of more than 5 billion barrels of oil off the coast of Brazil. The oil field was found under 7,060 feet of water, 10,000 feet of sand, and another 6,600 feet of salt. What the oil industry is ultimately worried about is whether we will hit a point where extracting oil gets so expensive that the cost of oil starts to cripple the global economy. Drilling four miles under the sea isn’t cheap.

In an e-mail exchange about Chevron’s AC transit hydrogen fueling station, Chevron spokesperson Brent Tippen wrote, “Hydrogen has potential as a transportation fuel in the long term, but significant technical and economic obstacles prevent it from being a widespread commercial fuel option right now.”

Levin is cautiously optimistic that it could be the gas companies like Linde and Praxair, and not the oil companies, that carry the hydrogen torch forward.

After a brief ride in a hydrogen fuel cell bus, Levin noted how quiet they are. At one point, he bought Tibetan bells and had them welded to the bus so it would be audible as it moved, but there wasn’t enough vibration to make them ring.

Therein lies Levin’s dream: a quiet, nonemitting vehicle for public transportation. And maybe even someday an entire society running on a clean, renewable, domestic fuel source. But for now he’ll start with what he’s got: a $2.5 million bus that emits water from the tailpipe and doesn’t make any noise.

Is BARFing good for your pet?

1

tredmond@sfbg.com

It’s called the BARF diet — and it’s the hottest thing in San Francisco pet stores these days. No, it’s not food that makes your pet throw up; BARF stands for biologically appropriate raw food. And its advocates are passionate about its advantages over old-fashioned commercial pet food.

“Dogs and cats in the wild would eat raw meat,” said Susan Yannes, who co-owns Pawtrero pet store and bathhouse on Mississippi Street. “They didn’t have doggie barbecues.”

The idea is to mimic as closely as possible what your pets would have eaten way back when — in the natural state, before they became so close to humans that they started eating the same sort of processed food (some would say processed crap) many of us eat.

And the trend is growing — fast. Matt Koss, who owns Primal Pet Foods, a supplier of frozen raw animal feed, reports 20 percent annual growth. He cites a massive pet food recall in 2007 as a spur to his business, adding that “there’s more and more consumer awareness about pet food.” Primal Pet supplies food to 2,000 pet stores nationwide, 15 in San Francisco.

But the BARF diet also has its critics — and not just in the multibillion dollar pet food industry.

 

A BETTER DOG IN JUST WEEKS

Yannes got into the raw food business when one of her dogs developed skin problems. “We were feeding him standard dry dog food, and the vet said it was fine,” she said. “His coat had all these bumps, so they gave him allergy medicine.”

Instead, she tried shifting the dog to an all-natural diet — “and a week later, he was fine.”

That’s a common story among some pet owners, who say that raw meat, combined with raw bones and some specially prepared grain and vegetable matter, makes dogs and cats healthier and happier. “Business is growing,” Yannes said. “People who try this don’t go back.”

The argument is similar to what you hear from people who have given up processed human food in favor of fresh fruits and vegetables and organic, free-range meat. It’s more natural; all that processing (and even heat) destroys essential nutrients.

A summary published on Pawblog that Yannes passed on to me sums it up: “When switching your pet to a raw food diet, there are many differences you will notice in a few weeks, including improved breath and white teeth, better digestion resulting in much smaller and firmer stools, less itching, scratching, and allergies, increased energy, healthy skin, and a shiner coat.”

The reason? “Dogs and cats stomachs are designed to digest raw meat and soft bones, utilizing the very strong concentrations of hydrochloric acid as well as the short length of their gastrointestinal tract. Any bacteria are taken care of with this acid.”

But some vets — including those that support and practice non-Western medicine — are more cautious.

“A raw diet is fine,” said Dr. Randy Bowman, a vet at Pets Unlimited. “Dogs were meant to eat raw food in the wild. But we’ve come far beyond that. Their gastrointestinal system has evolved, and they don’t need it.”

Adds Dr. Jeffrey Bryan, a veterinary oncologist who teaches at the University of Washington: “I think highly processed foods are problematic, but I wish we had more scientific evidence on the value of the raw diet.”

 

NOT FOR ALL

I think it’s safe to say that the raw food diet isn’t for everyone. For one thing, it’s more expensive — but if it winds up keeping our dog out of the vet’s office, it will more than pay for itself over time. More important, it requires a fair amount of work — and a lot of attention.

Raw meat has to be handled carefully. All the preparation surfaces have to be washed, and the pets’ dishes need to be washed with soap and water after every meal. That’s because raw meat — even organic, free-range stuff — contains bacteria that can carry diseases to pets and humans.

And according to Bowman, even the best grade of meat can carry diseases: “Even human-grade meat that’s processed and shipped distances carries bacteria, and it’s not meant for raw consumption.” Bowman suggests that pet owners at least sear the meat first, since the bacteria tend to be on the surface.

Dr. Rebecca Remillard, a veterinarian and pet nutritionist, is one of the harshest critics of the raw diet. “This is not a safe practice,” she writes on her Web site. “Dogs fed raw meat or eggs may develop mild to severe gastrointestinal disease from consuming products contaminated” with disease-causing bacteria.

Koss says that’s just misinformation. “Bacteria and pathogens are a concern in the entire food industry,” he said. “But if the food is handled properly, there is no danger at all to pets.”

Susan Lauten, who has a master’s degree in animal nutrition and a doctorate in biomedical science, runs a veterinary consulting business in Knoxville, Tenn. She agrees that, for the most part, healthy dogs and cats can safely eat raw food. But she’s less enthusiastic about comparisons to the diet these creatures ate in the wild.

“In the wild, dogs didn’t live very long,” she told me. “And one reason was that they got sick from eating contaminated meat.”

Lauten has a different concern about the raw diet. Animals that eat raw meat can release salmonella and other dangerous pathogens in their stool. “You don’t want that around if you have kids or immune-compromised people,” she said. “You can clean up after your dog, but you might not get everything.”

And she raised another issue: economics. “Do you tell people that they can’t have a cat unless they can afford the most expensive kind of food?”

Dr. Hannah Good, who practices holistic veterinary medicine in Santa Cruz, argues that “there’s a lot that can be accomplished by going in a different direction than kibble.” She noted that “a lot of diets are 100 percent garbage.”

But she also said that high-grade kibble diets are balanced to include all the nutrients an animal needs.

And what do the vets feed their pets? Good said her dog “eats whatever I eat”; she prepares a version of her own meals for her canine companion. Lauten’s dog has inflammatory bowel disease “and does very well on a commercial veterinary diet.”

Bryan, who thinks what a dog eats is an important factor in its health, doesn’t do the BARF thing either: “I give my dog Science Diet.”

Bark if you like needles

4

tredmond@sfbg.com

The dog named Hank Stamper got paralyzed on a sunny Saturday afternoon. One moment he was hanging out in the backyard, lying in the little patch of grass and giving the cats next door the evil eye, and the next thing I knew he was making a yelping sound like nothing my dog had ever uttered in his four years of healthy life.

When I got there, Hank was dragging himself around by his front paws, his back legs and hindquarters completely limp and useless.

So I picked up the 90-pound beast and wrestled him into the car and carried him to the pet hospital, where a young vet poked and prodded and confirmed that Hank’s entire hindquarters were numb and paralyzed. The doc didn’t know why, or what might have happened; there was no obvious injury. He said it might get better on its own, or it might not.

The specialist vet we saw the next day didn’t know what was wrong, either; it seemed to be some sort of stroke. An x-ray showed what might have been something screwy in his spine. “There’s a surgical procedure they do at UC Davis,” the specialist vet said. “It costs $10,000, and has about a 50 percent chance of success. I could call them if you want.”

Uh, no. I loved my dog, but that was way beyond our means, and my health insurance didn’t cover family members of the canine persuasion. So, sadly, with much weeping, we took poor Hank home. We figured we’d give it a day or two and, if he didn’t improve, his next trip to the vet would be his last.

While I was lamenting all this at work the following morning, one of my colleagues made a wild suggestion: take him to Irving Street Veterinary Clinic, she told me; there’s a vet there who does acupuncture.

Well, hell. I’d never heard of doggie acupuncture, but Hank wasn’t getting better, plus he was miserable, and we were at the end of the line. So I called and made an appointment. Dr. Jeffrey Bryan met me at the clinic, took a look at the poor mutt, and went to get his gear.

“To be totally honest, I can’t explain scientifically exactly why this works,” he said as he started sticking needles in Hank’s back and legs. “But in a remarkable number of cases, it does.”

We sat on the floor, the dog and I, while Bryan hooked a very low electric current up to some of the needles, then he told me to wait. Thirty minutes later, the doc turned the juice off, took the needles out — and goddamn if that dog didn’t stand up and start to walk.

Seriously — the animal that couldn’t even hold himself up to poo (it was gross, don’t ask) ambled stiffly out of the clinic and got into the car. Four acupuncture sessions later, Hank was running again, and within a few months, we did a 5K race — and the human member of the team wasn’t the one setting the pace.

That was back in 1996, when veterinary acupuncturists were fairly rare, even in San Francisco. I think Bryan was one of only two licensed vets who did it. Today it’s a growth industry.

In fact, an increasing number of vets — people with a doctor of veterinary medicine degree, folks who spent four years in graduate school studying Western science and medical techniques — are treating some of their patients with acupuncture, chiropractic, herbs, and other holistic approaches.

“It’s expanded quite a bit in the past five years,” said Dr. Randy Bowman, who practices at Pets Unlimited, a nonprofit animal hospital and adoption center in San Francisco. “We as vets have become more informed and more in touch with what our clients want.”

Bowman practices what he calls complementary and integrative medicine — a combination of traditional Western techniques and holistic treatments like acupuncture and herbs. “I think a lot of us get fed up with chronic conditions, pets that have problems Western medicine doesn’t have a cure for,” he said. “I wanted to offer my clients something more than the same antibiotic over and over.”

Acupuncture’s been around much longer than what we now call Western medicine. A recent article in accupuncture.com noted that primitive acupuncture therapies may have been practiced in India as long as 7,000 years ago, and it’s been part of Chinese culture for centuries.

“One of the earliest records of veterinary acupuncture was some 3,000 years ago, for the treatment of elephants,” explained the article, which was written by Susan Thorpe Vargas and John Cargill.

But the technique didn’t find widespread acceptance in America until much more recently. California first legalized acupuncture in the 1970s. And while some licensed acupuncturists have quietly been treating animals for years, it’s only recently that significant numbers of university-trained veterinarians have started to adopt the practice.

Although most humans have to choose between a doctor with an M.D. and an acupuncturist, in the animal world, the spheres of traditional and holistic medicine have grown closer.

Dr. Hannah Good, who practices in Santa Cruz, is an early disciple. She’s been offering animal acupuncture and chiropractic for more than 20 years. “I look at every case individually,” she told me. “Sometimes it’s herbal treatment, sometimes it’s surgery.”

There are many reasons for the shift toward holistic medicine in the animal world — and one, frankly, is cost. Invasive procedures, antibiotics, steroids — all the things traditional vets tend to do for sick animals — come at a stiff price. Hank’s $10,000 surgical estimate is unusual, but spending hundreds of dollars — many hundreds of dollars — on an animal’s illness is all too common.

The acupuncture that saved Hank’s life cost $40 a session, and the bottle of Chinese medicine Bryan prescribed as a supplement cost $8 at the herbalist down the street.

That’s not always the case — extended acupuncture treatment can be pricey. “But it’s still less expensive, particularly with chronic diseases,” Bowman noted.

I tracked down Bryan recently; these days, he’s a professor at the University of Washington School of Veterinary Medicine and an expert in veterinary oncology. He remembered Hank well — and although he has spent years in advanced training learning to treat animal cancer, he still uses acupuncture at times.

“One of my students had a dog with chronic pain and we gave him a very powerful steroid, but it had no affect,” he said. “But acupuncture made a lot of difference.”

He finds that his clients — even those whose animals have advanced diseases — are interested in alternatives. “A lot of people who have had acupuncture themselves find that this kind of treatment is more in line with their core values,” he noted. “It’s certainly growing in the public consciousness.”

Bryan would like to see the veterinary establishment — which is still dominated by Western scientific models — move more quickly to adopt nontraditional techniques. “Most of what we’re seeing is demand-driven,” he said. “People are asking for it. Veterinary medicine as a whole has done a poor job of being a leader in the field.”

All in the family

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arts@sfbg.com

FILM The Rizzo family of City Island, N.Y. — a tiny atoll associated historically with fishing and jurisdictionally with the Bronx — have reached a state where their primary interactions consist of sniping, yelling, and storming out of rooms. These storm clouds operate as cover for the secrets they’re all busy keeping from one another.

Correctional officer Vince (Andy Garcia) pretends he’s got frequent poker nights so he can skulk off to his true shameful indulgence: a Manhattan acting class. Naturally, perpetually fuming spouse Joyce (Julianna Margulies) assumes he’s having an affair. Daughter Vivian (Dominik García-Lorido) is back home from “school” on “spring break,” quote marks required because in fact she’s dropped out to work at a strip joint nearby, an endeavor hinted at by her newly extra-perky breasts. The world class-sarcasms of teenager Vinnie (Ezra Miller) deflect attention from his own hidden life as an aspiring chubby chaser crushing on a plus-sized schoolmate and transfixed by the huge neighbor (Carrie Baker Reynolds) who’s a live webcam star among fanciers of BBW (Big Beautiful Women).

All this (plus everyone’s sneaky cigarette habit) is nothing, however, compared to Vince’s really big secret: he conceived and abandoned a “love child” before marrying, and said guilty issue has just turned up as a 24-year-old car thief on his cell block. Tony (Steven Strait) is eligible for provisional parole, but since his mother (fondly recalled as “a drunk and a whore”) is deceased, he has no family to take him in.

Ergo, Vince brings him home, explaining to no one (Tony included) their wee biological link. But as dad spends increasing time “playing poker” — i.e. hanging out with fellow would-be thespian Molly (Emily Mortimer) and even scoring a Scorcese audition — vengefully-minded mom has time to notice that frequently shirtless new handyman Tony has a Body of Death. Their flirtation includes her sympathetic comment, “Being in prison and not being able to smoke? That’s like being in jail!”

City Island advance-screened last week a couple nights after Hot Tub Time Machine. While it will be lucky to make a small fraction of Hot Tub‘s multiplex dough, it offers cheering, contrasting evidence that not all American live-action movie comedy outside the Judd Apatow realm is by and for imbeciles. Writer-director Raymond De Felitta made a couple other features in the last 15 years, none widely seen; if this latest is typical, we need more of him, more often.

Perfectly cast (who knew Andy Garcia could be funny?), City Island is farcical without being cartoonish, howl-inducing without lowering your brain-cell count. It’s arguably a better, less self-conscious slice of dysfunctional family absurdism than Little Miss Sunshine (2006) — complete with an Alan Arkin more inspired in his one big scene here than in all of that film’s Oscar-winning performance.

CITY ISLAND opens Fri/2 in San Francisco.

 

Our Weekly Picks

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THURSDAY 1

FILM

Gumby Dharma

When he created the characters Gumby and Pokey in the 1950s, Art Clokey indelibly imbedded himself into modern pop culture, making a lasting and loving impression on generations of fans. That magical connection is chronicled in the Emmy-winning 2005 documentary Gumby Dharma, which delves into the beloved animator’s long life, canvassing the more well-known side of Clokey and his artistic triumphs, as well as several personal tragedies and his search for a spiritual path. Clokey, who passed away in January, had a studio in Sausalito for many years, and his life and creations will be celebrated tonight at a screening of the wonderful documentary, with its producers and several special guests in attendance. (Sean McCourt)

7 p.m., $6.50–$9

Balboa Theater

3630 Balboa, SF

(415) 221-8184

www.balboamovies.com

www.gumbydharma.com

 

EVENT

Craft Bar

Oh, the infamous Bill Cosby sweater — that oversized knit with a plethora of shapes and colors that makes you cringe at the sight of it. Yeah, that one. Well, now you can air that old thing out and put it to some use at Craft Bar. Enjoy a night of dexterity and drinks as DIY virtuoso Katy Kristin demonstrates how to chop up that old throw and create plush stuffed animals and snuggly beer cozies. Before you know it, you’ll be downing tall cans at Zeitgeist with your new cozy. (Elise-Marie Brown)

6 p.m., $5 (free with student ID)

Museum of Craft and Folk Art

51 Yerba Buena Lane, SF

(415) 227-4888

www.mocfa.org

 

DANCE/PERFORMANCE

Reggie Wilson and Andréya A Ouamba: The Good Dance—Dakar/Brooklyn

Reggie Wilson’s San Francisco debut in 2007 disappointed because it only presented a few short pieces he had created in the 1990s. But at least it whetted the appetite for more substantial work similar to what he had presented in other Bay Area venues. Now all is forgiven. The Good Dance—Dakar/Brooklyn, co-commissioned by YBCA, is a full-evening dance theater piece by Wilson and Senegalese choreographer Andréya Ouamba that explores a mutual preoccupation: the continued presence of the past in our lives. The Mississippi and the Congo serve as the central metaphors for this cross-cultural collaboration of dance, text, and vocals by Wilson’s Fist & Heel Performance Group and Ouamba’s Compagnie 1er Temps. (Rita Felciano)

8 p.m. (through Sat/3), $25–$30

Yerba Buena Center for the Arts

700 Howard, SF

(415) 978-ARTS

www.ybca.org

 

VISUAL ART

“A Dog’s Life (with a Special Appearance by Cats)”

A collection of funny cartoons focusing on man’s best friend — along with some pals in the feline world — the new exhibit “A Dog’s Life (with a Special Appearance by Cats)” draws from the Schmulowitz Collection of Wit and Humor at the San Francisco Public Library. Among the selections on display are works from artists such as James Thurber, George Booth, and Charles Schulz. Snoopy is in the house. (McCourt)

9 a.m.–8 p.m. (through May 31), free

San Francisco Public Library

Skylight Gallery, sixth floor

100 Larkin, SF

(415) 557-4277

www.sfpl.org

 

COMEDY

Marga’s Laugh Party: April Fools Edition!

Marga Gomez threw an uproarious laugh party in February. Now she’s back to host another night of laughter, dancing, and, of course, boozin’. Special guest W. Kamau Bell is celebrating the release of his new comedy CD, Face Full of Flour (Rooftop Comedy Productions). Other comedians on the bill include Gomez, Yayne Abeba, Tessie Chua, Loren Kraut, and Bucky Sinister, while DJ Sammy Franco brings the music. (Brown)

8 p.m., $10

Cafe du Nord

2170 Market, SF

(415) 861-5016

www.cafedunord.com

 

FRIDAY 2

EVENT/VISUAL ART

“A Benefit for Ed Hannigan: WonderCon Weekend Party”

As an artist for DC and Marvel comics back in the 1970s and ’80s, Ed Hannigan helped bring to life titles such as Batman, Green Arrow, Spider Man, and more. Now suffering from multiple sclerosis, Hannigan is getting help from some superheroes. The nonprofit Hero Initiative takes care of ailing artists, many of whom have spent their careers as contractors and have no pensions or retirement funds. Tonight the organization is sponsoring a benefit party to raise money for Hannigan’s care, with several artists, such as Sergio Aragones (MAD, Groo), in attendance. The festivities include an auction of rare items. (McCourt)

8 p.m., $10–$35 sliding scale

Cartoon Art Museum

655 Mission, SF

(415) 227-8666

www.cartoonart.org

 

EVENT/VISUAL ART

Lower Haight Art Walk

Art openings and events are notorious for their intimidating nature. The art might be hard to “get,” and the elitists might challenge you on the difference between modern and postmodern perspectives when the reason you went in the first place was to snack on the free-range chicken tacos and sip homemade kombucha. The Lower Haight Art Walk, on the other hand, won’t give you a headache. Expect an evening of bar-hopping, live music, dancing, and — of course — art shows sprinkled throughout a four-block stretch in the Haight. Who knows, you might even like what you see and buy a piece or two. (Brown)

7 p.m., free

400–700 Haight, SF

www.lowerhaight.org

SATURDAY 3

 

COMEDY

Mo’nique

In Anthony Hamilton’s “Sister Big Bones” video, the R&B singer makes an ass of himself for Mo’nique’s curves, donning disguises and crashing his cruiser bike just to get closer to the bodacious lady’s heat. He’s not the only one with a crush. The stand-up comedian has made some of the bravest career choices in the business, augmenting her BET talk show with TV specials in which she talked with women in federal prison and, most famously, her role in last year’s Precious as the most horrific mother of all time — which made her a lock for the Best Supporting Actress Oscar. It’s easy to forget that on top of everything, she’s real funny too. Check her stand-up act this weekend — just be prepared to walk away with some more unrequited love in your life. (Caitlin Donohue)

8 p.m., $39.50–$59.50

Paramount Theater

2025 Broadway, Oakl.

(800) 745-3000

www.paramounttheatre.com

 

MUSIC/CLUB

Hard French

Look, hot queers into anything but ancient circuit techno and contemporary plasticene ladybots: I adore your Sunday beer busts, your Friday happy hours, your Monday-night free-for-alls (and all-for-mes). But when it comes to a jam-packed Saturday-afternoon dance party rocking girl groups, boogaloo, and garage stompers, it’s finally oui the hard way — Hard French, that is, a raucous party filling the weekend void with BBQ animals on the grill, marinated animals on the patio and dance floor, and DJ Carnitas and Brown Amy on the tables. DJ Bus Station John joins them this time around for some meaty amuse-bouches. My only quibble? It’s only once a month. Hélas! (Marke B.)

3–8 p.m., $5

El Rio

3158 Mission, SF

(415) 282-3325

www.elriosf.com

 

EVENT

Vinyl Addiction Launch Party

Vinyl toys — they’re surprisingly intriguing, aren’t they? Cute little round-headed rabbits and bears, baby dolls and yetis, usually with some subversive detail. That baby doll cranks its mouth open in a scream, and on closer inspection, the rabbit appears to be a necro-bunny, back from the grave. Maybe your little yeti’s sheer smoothness freaks you out after a while. What do they get up to on their shelves, late at night? Jesse Hernandez is on a mission to figure it out. The artist’s new online show, Vinyl Addiction, focuses on the creators of these little monsters, which are popping up all over as offshoots of the manga and graffiti scenes. Watch the premiere in New People’s trippy theater and celebrate the birth of something different in the art world. (Donohue)

7–10 p.m., free

New People

1746 Post, SF

(415) 525-8630

www.vinyladdiction.tv

 

SUNDAY 4

MUSIC/EVENT

Nobunny’s 9th Annual Easter Egg Bash

Can you imagine performing in a stinky, sweaty bunny mask for nine-plus years? Well, I guess you still wouldn’t have it as bad as Buckethead. Nobunny is garage-punker Justin Champlin, and this bunny shows no sign of giving up his floppy-eared head anytime soon, going so far as to stand in for the Easter Bunny himself at today’s Easter Egg Bash. Known for singing pants-less and drunk — often into a microphone shaped like a carrot — Nobunny puts on a show for those of us who like a little spectacle with our music. Go ahead and give a Muppet a hug — just don’t get any yolk in your hair. (Peter Galvin)

With the Bananas, Mayyors, Rantouls, Splinters, and Sir Lord Von Raven

8 p.m., $10

New Parish

579 18th St., Oakl.

(510) 444-7474

www.thenewparish.com

 

MUSIC

Hot Air Music Festival

Easter in San Francisco may mean hunky Jesi and egg-rolling nunnery, but we contemporary music lovers will be squealing “Good Lord” all day (polymodally chromatically, of course) at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music’s Hot Air marathon. Three wide-eared conservatory graduates — Matthew Cmiel, Andrew Meyerson, and Carolyn Smith — have put together eight straight hours’ worth of rare live aural pyrotechnics, including works by lionized off-beaters Steve Reich, Gyorgy Ligeti, and Lou Harrison, as well as wonderful newbies Mason Bates, Missy Mazzoli, and Luciano Chessa. Add in puppets, the Picasso Quartet, and local bass clarinet duo SQWONK, and that bunny is cooked. We’re stayin’ indoors. (Marke B.)

2–10 p.m., free

SF Conservatory of Music

50 Oak, SF

(415) 864-7326

www.hotairmusic.org

 

MONDAY 5

EVENT/FILM

“SFFS Film Arts Forum: Tales from Terror Town”

The premiere of Peaches Christ’s feature-length directorial debut, All About Evil, is just around the corner, and to whet everyone’s appetite for the nail-polish-hued blood, Christ herself — a.k.a. Joshua Grannell — is on hand tonight to discuss the perils and pleasures of making a movie with more talent (including Mink Stole, Natasha Lyonne, and teen idol Thomas Dekker) than money. Christ will be joined by the Butcher Brothers, whose new movie, The Violent Kind, is a biker bloodbath. (Johnny Ray Huston)

7 p.m., $8 ($5 for members)

Mezzanine

444 Jessie, SF

(925) 866-9559

www.sffs.org

 

TUESDAY 6

EVENT/VISUAL ART

“The Roadmap to Extinction: Are Humans Disappearing?”

Every once in a while, a wise man I know will tire of the endless discussion about the impending death of Earth. “It’s not going to be the end of the planet; it’s just going to be the end of us!” he is wont to exclaim. Truly, our global importance wanes as our carbon emissions wax. This self-extermination is the subject of a photo exhibit at this info night–reception for the Global Justice Ecology Project, an organization that works on the topics of climate justice and forest protection. In a uniquely San Franciscan convergence, the night’s learning is going down at Good Vibrations — a store whose arsenal of procreation-inspiring implements might huskily whisper “no” to the photo exhibition’s pressing query. (Donohue)

5:30–7:30 p.m., free

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0400 www.globaljusticeecology.com www.goodvibes.com The Guardian listings deadline is two weeks prior to our Wednesday publication date. To submit an item for consideration, please include the title of the event, a brief description of the event, date and time, venue name, street address (listing cross streets only isn’t sufficient), city, telephone number readers can call for more information, telephone number for media, and admission costs. Send information to Listings, the Guardian Building, 135 Mississippi St., SF, CA 94107; fax to (415) 487-2506; or e-mail (paste press release into e-mail body — no text attachments, please) to listings@sfbg.com. We cannot guarantee the return of photos, but enclosing an SASE helps. Digital photos may be submitted in jpeg format; the image must be at least 240 dpi and four inches by six inches in size. We regret we cannot accept listings over the phone.

Just “Duck”-y

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CULT FILM STAR Although the mainstream Hollywood press and audiences at large may not have flocked to theaters in support of the initial release of Howard the Duck in 1986, a core group of devoted fans and successive generations of viewers have elevated the film to cult classic status, resulting in a long-awaited special edition DVD release last year.

Ed Gale, the actor who stepped inside the Howard costume and helped bring the character to life, will be appearing at this weekend’s WonderCon, the largest comic book and pop culture convention in Northern California, to meet fans and sign autographs (look for him at booth M19 in the Autograph Area, room 105).

In what was his first Hollywood role (it was actually the first movie he even auditioned for), Gale used highly energetic body language to convey the emotions of the diminutive yet daring duck. That high level of energy expenditure took a physical toll on the actor — and the restrictions presented by the full-body costume made even simple things, such as eating, very difficult.

“When it became apparent I was losing too much weight too fast — I lost 11 pounds in 30 days — they had to give me straws with protein shakes, or they’d drop M&M’s down my beak,” Gale remembered, speaking over the phone from Los Angeles.

Filmed largely in the Bay Area (the characters visit the California Academy of Sciences, take taxis in the Sunset District, and fly over the rooftops of downtown Petaluma), Howard the Duck had the backing of George Lucas as executive producer — which is one reason Gale suspects the movie was treated so harshly by critics when it appeared to be a financial failure.

“We as a society love to build people up and then tear them down, apparently they felt it was time to tear George Lucas down. But the power of the people has proved them wrong.”

Gale, who has also appeared in films like Child’s Play (1988) and Spaceballs (1987), along with more recent roles in television including My Name is Earl and Bones, says Howard is still the most popular character he has played. He’s looking forward to returning to San Francisco.

“The adage that my manager told me was, ‘If you’re going to be good, be the best. If you’re going to be bad, be the worst, and you’ll never be forgotten.’ And with Howard the Duck and all the great fans, that has never been more true,” he said. “I definitely want to meet a whole new bunch of friends in the city where it all began.” (Sean McCourt)

WONDERCON 2010

Fri/2, noon–-7 p.m.; Sat/3, 10 a.m.–7 p.m.;

Sun/4, 11 a.m.–-5 p.m., $5-$40

Moscone Center South

747 Howard, SF

www.comic-con.org/wc/

www.edgale.com

Benefits: March 31-April 6

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Ways to have fun while giving back this week

Wednesday, March 31

Wet Wednesday
Party for a great cause at this benefit for the Edgewood Center for Children and Families, a center that provides services for children, teens, and families. Enjoy free food, music by DJ Paul, a raffle for a $450 gift certificate to Las Olas Surfboards and other prizes, and Sierra Nevada beer who will donate $1 for every pint sold.
8 p.m., free
Riptide Cocktails
3639 Taraval, SF
www.riptidesf.com

Friday, April 2

Benefit for Ed Hannigan
Attend this WonderCon Weekend party where a portion of the proceeds will go to the currently exhibited comic book artist Ed Hannigan who suffers from multiple sclerosis. Featuring a silent auction and food and drink.
8 p.m., $10-35 sliding scale
Cartoon Art Museum
655 Mission, SF
(415) CAR-TOON
www.cartoonart.org

Saturday, April 3

Shoebox Studios
Help Shoebox Studios celebrate their recent move to a larger location, which will help them to offer their body positive, safe dance, art, and martial arts classes to more members of the community. Cocktail reception and silent auction of goods, services, and artworks followed by party featuring live music by Rhubarb Whiskey, dance performances, and more.
Cocktail reception and silent auction: 5 p.m., free
Party: 7 p.m., $5 donation
Shoebox Studios
864 Folsom, SF
(415) 861-5976

Monday, April 5

“Relief”
Attend this San Francisco Art Institute MFA candidate silent auction event, where all proceeds will be donated to the Clinton Bush Haiti Fund. Work of painters, photographers, sculptors, designers, filmmakers, and more will be showcased. Featuring music performances and hors d’oeuvres.
5 p.m.
San Francisco Art Institute
Courtyard
800 Chestnut, SF
www.sfai.edu

Quick Lit: March 31-April 6

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Literary readings, book tours, and talks this week

Wednesday, March 31

Vito Acconci
Hear writer/visual artist turned designer and architect, Vito Acconci, talk about “Words/Action/Architecture,” where he will discuss recent and upcoming projects of Acconci Studio like an artificial island in Graz, an elevated subway station in Coney Island, and a street that runs through a building in Indianapolis.
7:30 p.m., free
Mills College
Lisser Theater
5000 MacArthur, Oak.
(510) 430-2164


Performing South Africa’s Truth Commission: Stages of Transition
Join author Catherine M. Cole as she discusses South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commissions, which helped to end apartheid by providing a public forum to exposed human rights abuses, and how the truth commission as public ritual and national theater provided a medium for performing evidence and truth to legitimize a new South Africa.
5:30 p.m., free
University Press Books
2430 Bancroft, Berk.
(510) 548-0585


Thursday, April 1

James Hannaham and Andrew Sean Greer
McSweeney’s and Modern Times Bookstore present an April Fool’s Day evening of literary debauchery with James Hannaham reading from his award-winning novel, God Says No, and Andrew Sean Greer reading his acclaimed NASCAR piece from the McSweeney’s publication, San Francisco Panorama.
7 p.m., free
Amnesia
853 Valencia, SF
(415) 970-0012
www.mtbs.com

April Martin Chartrand
Attend this audio visual presentation of April Martin Chartrand’s book, Angel’s Destiny: A novel story of poems and illustrations, and experience the emotional life of a multi-cultural woman in the United States trying to overcome violent adversities and embrace self-love.
6 p.m., free
San Francisco Main Library
100 Larkin, SF
angelsdestiny2009.blogspot.com

K.M. Soehnlein
Hear Soehnlein read from his new book, Robin and Ruby, a sequel to The World of Normal Boys where he introduces the character Robin MacKenzie. In this new story of love and loss we meet Robin’s sister Ruby.
7:30 p.m., free
Books Inc.
2275 Market, SF
(415) 864-6777

Surviving the Dragon
Hear author Arjia Rinpoche share his inspiring survival story of the years he spent in Tibet during the Cultural Revolution at this reading for his book, Surviving the Dragon: A Tibetan Lama’s life under Chinese rule. Rinopoche witnessed the torture and arrest of his monastery family, spent 16 years in a forced labor camp, and endured many other hardships before he escaped to the United Stated in 1998.
7:30 p.m., free
The Booksmith
1644 Haight, SF
(415) 863-8688
www.booksmith.com

World Poetry Night in the Oral Tradition
Enjoy recited poetry from diverse cultures and time periods in the “oral tradition,” where one poem inspires another from classics such as Rumi, Sappho, Hafiz, Whitman, Shakespeare, T.S. Eliot, Dickinson, Neruda, and more.
7 p.m., $12
Mechanics’ Institute
57 Post, SF
(415) 393-0100
www.milibrary.org

Friday, April 2

Litpunk
Enjoy intense, punk-edged lit readings and music at this punk rock alternative to the popular Litquake annual reading series. Featuring Penelope Houston, lead singer of the Avengers, reading poetry, prose, and singing, John Shirley, author and former lead singer of SadoNation, Eddie Jetson, of Ice 9, “Jennifer Blowdryer,” Johnny Genocide, and more.
7:30 p.m., $5
Makeout Room
3225 22nd St., SF
(415) 647-2888


Reality Hunger: A manifesto

Author David Shields argues that our culture is obsessed with reality because we experience hardly any. At this reading, Shields will share his stance that aims to reframe how we think about “truthiness.”
7:30 p.m., free
The Booksmith
1644 Haight, SF
(415) 863-8688
www.booksmith.com

Saturday, April 3

Indivisible: An anthology of Contemporary South Asian American Poetry
Kick off national poetry month at this book launch, reading, and signing of this collection of poetry from contemporary American poets from different cultures and faiths who trace their origins back to Bangladesh, India, Nepal, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka. The anthology aims to capture the simultaneous tensions of belonging and not belonging in America.
Featured contributors: Ravi Chandra, Tanuja Mehrotra, and Swati Rana
7:30 p.m., free
Booksmith
1644 Haight, SF
(415) 863-8688
www.booksmith.com

Monday, April 5

The Hills in Berkeley
Attend this UC Berkeley geology talk where professor Dr. Doris Sloan will discuss the formation of the Hills in Berkeley.
7:30 p.m., $5
The Hillside Club
2286 Cedar, Berk.
(510) 848-3277
www.hillsideclub.org

Tuesday, April 6

Homero Aridjis with Lawrence Ferlinghetti
Hear Mexican poet, novelist, and environmentalist, Homero Aridjis read from his new collection of poetry, Solar Poems, addressing both his ecological concerns and a mystical relationship to the sun. Lawrence Ferlinghetti will also read several poems from the new bilingual edition of his book, What is Poetry?/¿Qué es la Poesía?, which Aridjis translated.
7 p.m., free
City Lights Bookstore
261 Columbus, SF
www.citylights.com

Biking Book Club
Join members of the SF Bike Coalition and other biking enthusiasts for this book club and discussion group about bike and transportation related books. The current book up for discussion is Traffic: Why we drive the way we do by Tom Vanderbilt. Bring ideas for future reads.
6:30 p.m., free
San Francisco Bicycle Coalition
995 Market, SF
www.sfbike.org/books

Insectopedia
Hear author Hugh Raffles discuss his new book that pays tribute to bugs of all kinds in this collection of 26 offbeat and bizarre essays and philosophical musings.
7 p.m., free
BookShop West Portal
80 West Portal, SF
(415) 564-8080

A 40-year Last Gasp that’s getting stronger

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By Cécile Lepage

Last Gasp, San Francisco’s landmark independent and underground publisher, is turning 40. To celebrate this feat – in four decades, Last Gasp has spawned more than 300 comics and 250 books – it is throwing a party and an art show Thurs/April 1 at 111 Minna Gallery.

Who dared wager, in the mid-1970s, that Last Gasp would survive the withering of the underground comix scene? Head shops, the main outlet for unedited explicit sex-, drug-, and violence-ridden content (the “x” in comix stands for X-rated), were being prosecuted and forced to shut down due to anti-drug paraphernalia laws. Comics stores favored the more mainstream adventures of masked men in tights. Finally,“there wasn’t the same appetite for comics anymore,” according to Colin Turner, associate publisher to his dad Ron, who founded Last Gasp. No matter: the small venture outlived its peers by continually adapting, tuning to consumer demand and catering to bookstores’ standards and their stapled-leaflet scorn. Over the years, Last Gasp branched out into artist monographs, coloring pads, music-related books and graphic novels.

Yet, browsing its odds-and-ends catalogue, one gets the sense that Last Gasp hasn’t compromised its bizarre and satirical bent. Sure, it might carry such mundane items as coloring books, but beware of the twist! Gangsta Rap Coloring Book flaunts 48-pages of line drawn gangsta rappers. As for Tee Corinne’s Cunt Coloring Book, well, the title says it all. Last Gasp may have diversified, but it never reneged on complete artistic license, the hallmark of underground comix.

Today, Last Gasp thrives in the areas of lowbrow art and pop surrealism. Lowbrow is an umbrella label for “art forms that are popular and wonderful, that people love, but that aren’t respected in the fine art world”, according to Colin. It ranges from tattoos and Kustom Kulture to street art and graffiti – artistic expressions rooted in pop culture that take place on canvases ranging from car exteriors to skin..

As for pop surrealism, the genre emerged from cartoon-y visuals only to reclaim traditional old master painting craftsmanship. Artists such as Scott Musgrove, Camille Rose Garcia and Mark Ryden colonize canvasses with impeccably-rendered phantasmagorical creatures and weird visions. Neglected for years by art institutions, the loose-knit community of lowbrow artists is gradually being endorsed by upscale galleries and museums, a shift that once again attests to Ron Turner’s prescient flair. Back in the day, he promptly discerned underground comix’ wide appeal and cultural relevance, supporting the work of then-young and aspiring artists such as R. Crumb, Bill Griffith, and Spain Rodriguez, all of whom matured into cult or mainstream icons.

It could be said that Ron Turner got sidetracked into publishing. In the late 1960s, the Fresno native enrolled in the SF State psychology department. The Peace Corps volunteer, freshly returned from a stint in Sri Lanka, was thrust into the Bay Area countercultural upheaval and its myriad of grassroots movements. As a Berkeley Ecology Center activist, he figured that he could raise funds by releasing an environmentally-oriented comic book.

“I thought the graphic approach would engage teenagers, help them thwart authority figures, and provide answers to ecological concerns”, Ron recalls. With the mentorship of Gary Arlington, the San Francisco Comic Book Company owner who was selling Zap Comix under the counter, he compiled and printed 20,000 copies of Slow Death Funnies 1. By that time, his Ecology Center accomplices had dispersed, and their successors only agreed to redeem 10 copies of the title. “My garage was filled with 19,990 Slow Death Funnies 1 and I had to find a way to get rid of them”, he laughs.

This task proved easier than one might initially presume: with his good-humored nature, Turner unloaded his goods at 200 locations, not just head shops but also universities, hairdressers and even a leather jacket store. Eventually,Last Gasp reprinted the comic and sold around 45,000 copies. After this initiation, the socially-aware Turner satyed in the business because “it was a kooky way to shed some light on issues that needed attention.”

Last Gasp’s second publication was the all-woman feminist first It Ain’t Me Babe. “At the time, I was living alone with my newly-born daughter and I was drawing comics,” says Trina Robbins, who put together the title. “But you wouldn’t know it, because the 98% male underground comix industry had shut me out. I heard that Ron was looking for material for a women’s liberation comic book. I phoned him. The next day he visited me, wrote me a check for $1,000 — which in those days was quite an amount of money — and voilà!”

The 1975 book Amputee Love probed another rarely addressed topic, the sexual life of a crippled couple. “UC medical centers purchased some copies to sensitize nurses to the fact that amputation does not mean death of sexuality,” says Ron Turner. Other notable contributions to unconventional subject matters include Anarchy (1978) and Cocaine Comix (1976).

According to Ron Turner, cartoonists hold the highest rank in creativity because they can communicate their vision the most clearly: “Most art is some form of propaganda. The artist wants to sell you on his vision and what it leads to.” Turner’s fascination with human behavior conditioning stems from his psychology studies.

At 70, Ron Turner still sports a hippie hairstyle: a white hair ponytail and an eccentric plaited beard running down to the navel of his buddha-like belly. Comix aficionados regard him not only as a pillar but also as a guardian angel. “Last Gasp is unique in that it’s a publishing house and also a distributor. It has kept many smaller and larger presses afloat,” explains Cartoon Art Museum curator Andrew Farago.

Niched in a corner room of Last Gasp’s Florida Street offices, Turner’s personal collection of popular art is an eclectic mix of original drawings and paintings, side show banners, circus items and vinyl sculptures. “Are these for real?”, hollers a guy named Charlie, who is lending a hand in preparing the anniversary art show. He has uncovered a pile of four framed paintings that serial killer John Wayne Gacy made while on death row. Lowbrow art is definitely not for the fainthearted.

Rep Clock

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Schedules are for Wed/31–Tues/6 except where noted. Director and year are given when available. Double features are marked with a •. All times are p.m. unless otherwise specified.

ARTISTS’ TELEVISION ACCESS 992 Valencia, SF; www.atasite.org. $6. "Cut and Run presents A Night of Storytelling," short films, Fri, 8pm. "Other Cinema:" Nosferatu (Murnau, 1922), with a soundtrack by Evolution Control Committee, Sat, 8:30.

BALBOA 3630 Balboa, SF; (415) 221-8184. $6.50-9. Gumby Dharma (Marchesi, 2006), Thurs, 7.

BERKELEY FELLOWSHIP OF UNITARIAN UNIVERSALISTS Fellowship Hall, 1924 Cedar, Berk; www.bfuu.org. Donations accepted. "Palestine: Occupied Lives, Non-Violence, and Steadfastness:" Encounter Point (Avni and Bacha, 2006), Fri, 7.

CAFÉ OF THE DEAD 3208 Grand, Oakl; (510) 931-7945. Free. "Independent Filmmakers Screening Nite," Wed, 6:30.

CASTRO 429 Castro, SF; (415) 621-6120, www.castrotheatre.com. $7.50-10. Alice in Wonderland (Burton, 2010), Wed-Thurs, 1, 4, 7, 9:45. "Legendary Composers: Lalo Schifrin:" •THX 1138 (Lucas, 1971), Fri, 7, and The Beguiled (Siegel, 1971), Fri, 8:45; •Bullitt (Yates, 1968), Sat, 2:35, 7, and Dirty Harry (Siegel, 1971), Sat, 4:30, 9; •Cool Hand Luke (Rosenberg, 1967), Sun, 2:05, 6:35, and Cincinnati Kid (Jewison, 1965), Sun, 4:30, 9.

CHRISTOPHER B. SMITH RAFAEL FILM CENTER 1118 Fourth St, San Rafael; (415) 454-1222, www.cafilm.org. $6.50-10. The Art of the Steal (Argott, 2009), call for dates and times. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (Oplev, 2009), call for dates and times. The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers (Ehrlich and Goldsmith, 2009), call for dates and times. A Prophet (Audiard, 2009), call for dates and times. Breathe Made Visible (Gerber, 2009), April 2-8, call for times. Vincere (Bellocchio, 2009), April 2-8, call for times.

HUMANIST HALL 390 27th St, Oakl; www.humanisthall.org. $5. The Greater Circulation (Alli, 2005), Wed, 7:30.

MECHANICS’ INSTITUTE 57 Post, SF; (415) 393-0100, rsvp@milibrary.org. $10. "CinemaLit Film Series: Day and Noir:" The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (Milestone, 1946), Fri, 6.

MUSEUM OF PERFORMANCE AND DESIGN 401 Van Ness, Fourth Flr, SF; www.mpdsf.org. $20. The Life and Times of the Red Dog Saloon (Works, 1996), Fri, 7.

PACIFIC FILM ARCHIVE 2575 Bancroft, Berk; (510) 642-5249, www.bampfa.berkeley.edu. $5.50-9.50. "Film 50: History of Cinema:" Memories of Underdevelopment (Gutierrez Alea, 1968), Wed, 3. "Private Lives: The Films of Alain Cavalier:" Portraits (1988-92), Wed, 7; Le combat dans l’île (1962), Sat, 8:30. La Danse: The Paris Opera Ballet (Wiseman, 2009), Thurs, 7. "Joseph Losey: Pictures of Provocation:" Blind Date (1959), Fri, 7; Modesty Blaise (1966), Fri, 9; King and Country (1966), Sun, 5:45. "Celebrating Chekhov:" The Seagull (Karasik, 1970), Sat, 6:30. "Life, Death, and Technicolor: A Tribute to Jack Cardiff:" The Red Shoes (Powell and Pressburger, 1948), Sun, 3. "Dotted Lines: Women Filmmakers Connect the Past and the Present:" Reconstruction (Lusztig, 2001), Tues, 7:30.

PIEDMONT 4186 Piedmont, Oakl; (510) 464-5980. $5-8. "Cult Classics Attack 5:" Jurassic Park (Spielberg, 1993), Fri-Sat, midnight; Sun, 10am.

RED VIC 1727 Haight, SF; (415) 668-3994. $6-10. The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus (Gilliam, 2009), Wed, 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Black Dynamite (Sanders, 2009), Thurs-Sat, 7:15, 9:15 (also Sat, 2, 4). Monty Python’s Life of Brian (Jones, 1979), Sun-Mon, 7:15, 9:20 (also Sun, 2, 4). My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done (Herzog, 2009), April 6-7, 7:15, 9:20 (also April 7, 2).

ROXIE 3117 and 3125 16th St, SF; (415) 863-1087, www.roxie.com. $5-9.75. Wed-Thurs, closed for renovation. Breath Made Visible (Gerber, 2009), April 2-8, call for times.

SAN FRANCISCO CINEMATHEQUE San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, 151 Third St, SF; www.sfcinema.org. $5 or free with museum admission ($12). "75 Years in the Dark: Poetry Meets Politics, The Essay," Thurs, 7. Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission, SF; www.sfcinema.org. $10. "Two Together One: Stanton Kaye and Jim McBride," Fri, 7; "Two Together Two: Jim McBride and Stanton Kaye," Sat, 7.

YERBA BUENA CENTER FOR THE ARTS 701 Mission, SF; (415) 978-2787, www.ybca.org. $6-8. "The Word and the Image: Films by Marguerite Duras:" India Song (1975), Thurs, 7:30.

Stage listings

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Stage listings are compiled by Guardian staff. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com.

THEATER

OPENING

Frau Bachfeifengesicht’s Spectacle of Perfection Stage Werx Theatre, 533 Sutter; 1-800-838-3006, www.circusfinelli.com. $15-20. Opens Fri/2, 8pm. Runs Fri-Sun, 8pm. Through April 25. San Francisco’s all-women clown troupe, Circus Finelli, performs their comedy show inspired by European circus acts and American vaudeville.

Lady, Be Good! Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson; 255-8207, www.42ndstmoon.org. $8-44. Previews Wed/31, 7pm; Thurs/1-Fri/2, 8pm. Opens Sat/3, 6pm. Runs Wed, 7pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 6pm (also April 10, 1pm); Sun, 3pm. Through April 18. 42nd Street Moon presents George and Ira Gershwin’s madcap tale of a brother-sister vaudeville team in the 1920s.

Macho Bravado Thick House, 1695 18th St; http://machobravado.eventbee.com. $15-25. Previews Thurs/1-Fri/2, 8pm. Opens Sat/3, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm (no show April 4). Through April 24. Asian American Theater Company performs Alex Park’s drama about a Korean-American soldier dealing with life on the home front after fighting in the Middle East.

Scalpel! Brava Theater Center, 2781 24th St; 647-2822, www.brava.org. $20-35. Opens Wed/31, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat and April 5 and 14, 8pm; April 11, 3pm. Through April 17. Writer-director D’arcy Drollinger’s world premiere is a comedic rock thriller that satirizes the pursuit of plastic-surgery perfection.

BAY AREA

John Gabriel Borkman Aurora Theatre, 2081 Addison, Berk; (510) 843-4822, www.auroratheatre.org. $34-55. Previews Fri/2-Sat/3 and April 7, 8pm; Sun/4, 2pm. Opens April 8, 8pm. Runs Tues and Sun, 7pm (also Sun, 2pm); Wed-Sat, 8pm. Through May 9. Aurora Theatre Company performs Henrik Ibsen’s pointed indictment of capitalism.

ONGOING

*…And Jesus Moonwalks the Mississippi Cutting Ball Theater, 277 Taylor; 1-800-838-3006, www.cuttingball.com. $15-30. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through April 11. In this inspired poetical-historical counter-narrative from Bay Area playwright Marcus Gardley, Greek mythology, African American folklore, personal family history, and Christian theology are all drawn irresistibly along in a great sweep of wild and incisive humor, passion, pathos and rousing gospel music as buoyant and wide as the Mississippi — or rather Miss Sippi (the impressive Nicole C. Julien), personification of the mighty and flighty river. The Cutting Ball–Playwrights Foundation coproduction, lovingly directed by Amy Mueller, sports exquisite design touches from Cutting Ball regulars like Michael Locher, whose gorgeous plank-wood set serves as the ideal platform for a work both magnificently simple and eloquently evocative. (Avila)

Baby: A Musical Off-Market Theatres, 965 Mission; 1-800-838-3006, www.roltheatre.com. $20-32. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through April 18. Ray of Light Theatre performs a comedy about pregnancy.

*Den of Thieves SF Playhouse, 533 Sutter; 677-9596, www.sfplayhouse.org. $40. Tues, 7pm; Wed-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 3pm). Through April 17. Stephen Adly Guirgis has been good to SF Playhouse. The company already scored big with two of the New Yorker’s gritty, dark and sharply funny plays, Our Lady of 121st Street and Jesus Hopped the ‘A’ Train. Director Susi Damilano continues the streak with SF Playhouse’s latest, the less heavy but very funny Den of Thieves, about an unlikely foursome of inept bandits caught trying to heist a Mafioso’s safe under a discotheque in Queens — a simple tale that gives plenty of scope to Guirgis’s muscular way with dialogue and the clash of characters. It’s a meaty comedy, and the exceptional cast sells the conceit so beautifully they make it a crime to miss. (Avila)

Desperate Affection Royce Gallery, 2901 Mariposa; www.expressionproductions.com. $28. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through April 10. Expression Productions presents a dark comedy by Bruce Graham.

The Diary of Anne Frank Next Stage, 1620 Gough; 1-800-838-3006, www.custommade.org. $10-28. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through May 1. Custom Made performs Wendy Kesselman’s modern take on the classic.

Eat, Pray, Laugh! Off-Market Theaters, 965 Mission; www.brownpapertickets.com. $20. Wed, 8pm. Through April 28. Off-Market Theaters presents stand up comic and solo artist Alicia Dattner in her award-winning solo show.

An Enemy of the People Eureka Valley Recreation Center Auditorium, 100 Collingwood; http://sffct.wordpress.com. Free. Fri-Sat, 7:30pm; April 11, 3pm. Through April 11. San Francisco Free Civic Theatre performs Henrik Ibsen’s drama.

*Loveland The Marsh, 1074 Valencia; 826-5750, www.themarsh.org. $15-50. Sat, 8:30pm; Sun, 7pm. Through April 25. Starting May 8, runs Sat, 5pm and Sun, 2pm at the Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk. Through June 13. Los Angeles–based writer-performer Ann Randolph returns to the Marsh with a new solo play partly developed during last year’s Marsh run of her memorable Squeeze Box. Randolph plays loner Frannie Potts, a rambunctious, cranky, and libidinous individual of decidedly odd mien, who is flying back home to Ohio after the death of her beloved mother. The flight is occasion for Frannie’s own flights of memory, exotic behavior in the aisle, and unabashed advances toward the flight deck brought on by the seductively confident strains of the captain’s commentary. The singular personality and mother-daughter relationship that unfurls along the way is riotously demented and brilliantly humane. (Avila)

Othello African American Art and Culture Complex, 762 Fulton; 1-800-838-3006, www.african-americanshakes.org. $20-30. Wed-Thurs, 10am (school matinees); April 10 and 17, 8pm; Sat/3, April 11, and April 18, 3pm. Through April 18. African-American Shakespeare Company closes its 15th season with this adaptation of Shakespeare’s play, set during a modern-day military tribunal in Iraq.

Pearls Over Shanghai Hypnodrome, 575 Tenth St.; 1-800-838-3006, www.thrillpeddlers.com. $30-69. Fri-Sat, 8pm; starting July 10, runs Sat, 8pm and Sun, 7pm. Extended through August 1. Thrillpeddlers presents this revival of the legendary Cockettes’ 1970 musical extravaganza.

Ramble-Ations: A One D’Lo Show Brava Theater Center, 2781 24th St; 647-2822, www.brava.org. $10-25. Thurs/1-Sat/2, 8pm; Sun/3, 3pm. Performance artist D’Lo offers up a comedic solo show from a unique (gay, Hindi, Sri Lankan, SoCal, hip-hop) perspective.

The Real Americans The Marsh, 1062 Valencia; 826-5750, www.themarsh.org. $18-50. Wed-Fri, 8pm (April 16, show at 9pm; starting April 24, no Fri shows except May 28, 8pm); Sat, 5pm; Sun, 3pm. Through May 30. The Marsh presents the world premiere of Dan Hoyle’s new solo show.

Shopping! The Musical Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; 1-800-838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $27-29. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Ongoing. The musical is now in its fifth year at Shelton Theater.

Suddenly Last Summer Actors Theatre, 855 Bush; 345-1287, www.actorstheatresf.org. $15-35. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through April 10. Actors Theatre presents one of Tennessee Williams’ finest and most famous plays.

*The Sugar Witch New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-4914, www.nctcsf.org. Wed/31-Sat/3, 8 pm; Sun/4, 2pm. Sisser (A.J. Davenport) has eaten her way into a wheelchair on the front porch, where she keeps a collection of bugs she occasionally likes to smoosh and have buried in the yard by her doting younger brother Moses (Michael Phillis). In contrast to Sisser’s morbid streak (and it only gets worse), Moses Bean is a good guy, very much the exception to the cursed Bean household sitting ramshackle at the edge of the mud. Annabelle (Kendra Owens), last in an ancient line of African American "sugar witches," recounts how Moses was, like his namesake, snatched as a baby from a floating basket, impressing their already smitten guest, local undertaker and Moses’s love interest Hank (William Giammona). But when a rudely aggressive female suitor (Amelia Mulkey) with a mean grandpappy (Jay Smith) offends Sisser, that old Bean curse gets a new coat of red paint, putting happy endings in jeopardy. With The Sugar Witch, playwright Nathan Sanders continues the gothic saga he began Off-Broadway with first play The Sugar Bean Sisters, set in an imaginary Florida swamp town not far from Disney World. But if Sugar Bean is something of a low-rent magic kingdom, complete with flying cats and occult spells, here the history of racism and patriarchal tyranny tends to resurface like so many bodies imperfectly weighted down and fed to the swamp. That history/mystery adds a stark, potent dimension to an otherwise fitfully effective, somewhat sentimental dark comedy, gamely acted all around under Dennis Lickteig’s thoughtful direction. (Avila)

Truce Noh Space, 2840 Mariposa; 826-1958. $10-25. Wed/31-Sat/3, 8pm. Playwright-performer Marilee Talkington stars in Vanguardian Productions’ presentation of her autobiographical work about a woman struggling with impending blindness.

What Mama Said About Down There Our Little Theater, 287 Ellis; 820-3250, www.theatrebayarea.org. $15-25. Thurs-Sun, 8pm. Through July 30. Writer-performer-activist Sia Amma presents this largely political, a bit clinical, inherently sexual, and utterly unforgettable performance piece.

BAY AREA

*Concerning Strange Devices from the Distant West Roda Theatre, 2015 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, berkeleyrep.org. $13.50-27. Wed and Sun, 7pm (also Sun, 2pm); Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Sat and April 8, 2pm). Through April 11. That the camera always tells the truth is the biggest lie, as
any array of deliberately posed models and idealized landscapes can attest. Naomi Iizuka’s Concerning Strange Devices for the Distant West offers an intriguing glimpse behind the photographic façade from both sides of the lens. Using the medium of photography as its unifying thread, Strange Devices ties together two moments in time — the 19th century and the present — as a collector of rare Meiji-era photographs (Bruce McKenzie) comes to modern Yokohama to make a buy, eager to believe in the constructed reality their images represent. But as the tantalizing fragments of a mystery of birthright unfold within an elaborate web of forgery, fraud, and blackmail, so does the realization that, even posed, the truth of a photograph lies within the moment of time it captures, even when misinterpreted by the viewer. A spare set of sliding panels designed by Mimi Lien suggests both the interior of a camera and the secret sliding compartments of a Japanese puzzle box, and the intricate, interlocking tattoo art designed by costumer Annie Smart dazzles, as does the "camera-flash" lighting by Alexander V. Nichols. (Gluckstern)
*East 14th: True Tales of a Reluctant Player Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; www.themarsh.org. $20-35. April 9, 16, 30, and May 7, 9pm; April 10, May 1, and May 8, 8pm; April 18 and 25, 2pm. Through May 8. Don Reed’s solo play, making its Oakland debut after an acclaimed New York run, is truly a welcome homecoming twice over. (Avila)

*A Seagull in the Hamptons Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby, Berk; www.shotgunplayers.org. $15-30. Wed, 7pm; Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through April 25. A fiery young man (Liam Callister) stages a beachfront play starring his equally ardent first love (Kelsey Venter) for the benefit of the familiar flock of seasonal neighbors out on Long Island — and the professional and spiritual punishment of his commercially successful and completely self-absorbed actress-mother (Trish Mulholland). Youthfully high-spirited and talented, the world (especially out here) might have proved his oyster, but things soon fall apart, disintegrating and melding again on the shoreline (handsomely evoked in Robert Broadfoot’s scenic design) as if he and the other nine characters in this shrewd, droll and melancholic play were so many sand castles. Emily Mann’s free adaptation of Chekhov’s Seagull captures the essence of his early "comedy" — very much a human comedy, brimming with pain, turmoil and tragedy in equal measure with laughter, love and folly — and yet manages to be completely of its own (our own) time and place, so effortlessly as to seem a little miraculous. It helps, naturally, that director Reid Davis has assembled a very solid and enjoyable ensemble cast for this wonderfully tailored Shotgun Players production. The opening play-within-a-play is apt several times over, but not least because this is a satisfying night of theater for anyone who loves theater, and anyone else who still doesn’t know it yet. (Avila)

PERFORMANCE/DANCE

BATS Improv Theatre Bayfront Theater, Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna; www.improv.org. Fri-Sat, 8pm. $17-20. This week: "Murder Mystery Friday" and "Theatresports Saturday."

"Cabaret Showcase Showdown" Martuni’s, Four Valencia; 241-0205, www.dragatmartunis.com. Sun, 7pm. As part of their ongoing competition, Katya Ludmilla Smirnoff-Skyy and Mrs. Trauma Flintstone search for the best R&B/urban pop singer.

"City Solo" Off-Market Theater, 965 Mission; www.brownpapertickets.com. Sun, 7pm. Through April 18. $15. This showcase highlights solo performers presenting excerpts from their full-length shows.

"Dance Monks Presents Body and Sound Improvisation Festival" Kunst-Stoff Arts, 929 Market; www.dancemonks.com. Fri, 6-9pm (continues first Friday of the month through October). $15-20. Dancers and musicians improvise together at performances and workshops.

"Everyone Intimate Alone Visibly" Z Space at Theater Artaud, 450 Florida; www.levydance.org. Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Fri, 10pm). $20-25. LEVYdance presents its 2010 San Francisco home season.

"The Good Dance dakar/brooklyn" Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, Novellus Theater, 700 Howard; 978-ARTS, www.ybca.org. Thurs-Sat, 8pm, $30. This work is a collaboration between Brooklyn choreographer Reggie Wilson and Congolese choreographer Andreya Ouamba.

"Home Is That Way? And New Rituals for a Dangerous Era" CounterPULSE, 1310 Mission; 1-800-838-3006, www.counterpulse.org. Thurs-Sun, 8pm. $15-20. José Navarrete, Violeta Luna, and Kendra Kimbrough Barnes perform new works.

"Monday Night ForePlays" Studio 250 at Off-Market Theater, 965 Mission; www.pianofight.com. Mon, 8pm. Through April 26. $20. PianoFight presents this night of original sketches, dance numbers, and music, performed by an all-female troupe.

"New Tales of Mystery and Imagination" Dark Room, 2263 Mission; 401-7987, www.darkroomsf.com. Sat, 10pm. $8. Absurdist writer-performer Dan Carbone performs an evening of new works.

"The Romaine Event" Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St; 647-2888, www.pacoromane.com. Wed, 7:30pm. $7. Paco Romaine hosts a night of comedians, including Will Franken, Brendan Lynch, and more.

"ShortLived 3.0" Studio250 at Off-Market Theater, 965 Mission; www.pianofight.com. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through June 26. $20. PianoFight presents this audience-judged playwriting competition.

Tilted Frame Network Off-Market Theater, 965 Mission; www.combindedartform.com. Thurs, 8pm. Through May 13. $20. Through the magic of the internet, improv troupes from LA and SF perform together.

"Youth Speaks Teen Poetry Slam Grand Slam Finals" Warfield, 982 Market; www.youthspeaks.org. Sat, 7pm. $6-18. Teen poets compete.

Events listings

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Events listings are compiled by Paula Connelly. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

THURSDAY 1

Last Gasp Anniversary Show 111 Minna Gallery, 111 Minna, SF; (415) 974-1719. 6pm, free. Celebrate the 40th anniversary of Last Gasp, publisher of underground books and comics, at this party and art show featuring art by Gary Baseman, Tim Biskup, Glenn Barr, Robert Crumb, and many more, and readings by local writers, including San Francisco Poet Laureate Diane di Prima.

St. Stupid’s Day Begins at Justin Herman Plaza, Embarcadero at Market, SF; www.saintstupid.com. Noon, free. Help bring color, music, and satire to the financial district’s "temples of the Free Market" at this parade featuring a "dead lottery ticket" offering at the Federal Reserve Bank headquarters, a penny toss at the "banker’s heart," a "sock exchange" at the old Pacific Stock Exchange building, and more. Brought to you by the First Church of the Last Laugh.

BAY AREA

"Book Smart" Oakland Public Library, Temescal Branch, 5205 Telegraph, Oak.; (510) 597-5049. Through April 30, free. Peruse the library while taking in a unique art exhibit of mixed-media paintings by Nancy Mizuno Elliott that will be scattered throughout the library to surprise people as they browse the stacks, exploring the interconnectedness of solitude and stimulation.

FRIDAY 2

Al-Mutanabbi Street San Francisco Zen Center, 300 Page, SF; (415) 255-6524. 7:30pm, free. Attend the first U.S. exhibition of the al-Mutanabbi Street Broadside Project, a collection of poetry and art commemorating the 2007 car bombing of Baghdad’s historic book-selling al-Mutanabbi Street, featuring a poetry reading by contributing authors. Donations will be accepted for Doctors Without Borders.

La Mesa Red Poppy Art House, 2698 Folsom, SF; (415) 826-2402. 8pm, free. Take part in this peer-to-peer salon featuring traditional musicians, dancers, and artists from the Alliance for California Traditional Arts (ACTA) Roundtable Series, which aims to strengthen Bay Area intercultural traditional arts networks and leadership.

SATURDAY 3

Big Idea Night Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission, SF; (415) 978-2787. 9pm, free. RSVP recommended: www.ybcafree.org. Celebrate the role we all play in the underground arts community at this event put together by the Oakland based art collective The People featuring DJs, dance demonstrations, live painting, participatory art, live dance videography, a local Caribbean food vendor, extended hours for current exhibits, and more.

"Consumed" Femina Potens Art Gallery, 2199 Market, SF; (415) 864-1558. 7:30pm, free. Sate your artistic hunger at the opening of a month long exhibit titled, "Consumed – Affairs with the edible," featuring artwork by Maria Kretschmann, Malia Schlaefer, Liz Maher, and Francesca Berrini that address women’s complex relationship with food. Meet the artists, rub elbows with fellow foodies, and enjoy refreshments and snacks.

Exploratorium Film Collection Exploratorium, McBean Theater, 3601 Lyon, SF; (415) 561-0360. 2pm; included in the price of admission, $15. Watch contemporary film works alongside classic experimental, documentary, and science films from the Exploratorium’s 16 mm collection as part if their 40th anniversary Cinema Arts Program.

Healthy Saturdays Golden Gate Park, JFK Drive between Tea Garden and Transverse, SF; www.sfbike.org/?ggp. All day every Saturday from April thru September, free. Enjoy the kick off of the season of car-free Saturdays in Golden Gate park weather you’re a skater, bicyclist, pedestrian, or onlooker.

Skate this Art Gallery 28, 1228 Grant, SF; (415) 563-6965. 6pm, free. Learn more about the art of skateboarding at the opening of this annual exhibit while helping to raise money for the North Beach Citizens (NBC) center, an outreach program for the disabled and homeless of North Beach. Reception to feature skateboard art auction, raffles, film screenings, poetry readings, and more.

Starchild on Sit Lie Magnet, 4122 18th St., SF; (415) 581-1600. 7pm, free. Hear Starchild, a bisexual, libertarian, activist, sex worker, and supervisorial candidate, discuss the proposed Sit/Lie law with Jon Sugar. The law proposes to ban sitting and lying on sidewalks in SF and will soon be voted on by the Board of Supervisors. Live music to follow.

West Coast Live San Francisco Ferry Building, Port Commission Room, second floor, 101 Embarcadero, SF; (415) 433-9500. 10am, $18. Attend a live broadcast of West Coast Live hosted by Sedge Thomson with special guests Anchee Min, Walter Mosley, and Olympia Dukakis, and featuring music by Dana Cooper and the Exceptional Mike Greensill. West Coast Live broadcasts from locations that convey the culture and sounds of the West to listeners.

SUNDAY 4

Spring Celebration and Easter Parade Union Street, Gough to Fillmore, SF; www.unionstreetsf.com. 10am-5pm, free. Catch the 2pm Easter parade, enjoy outdoor dining at temporary sidewalk bistros, listen to live music, compete in the Easter bonnet contest, and take part in some of the family oriented activities being offered at this local celebration of Spring.

MONDAY 5

Film Arts Forum Mezzanine, 444 Jessie, SF; (415) 625-8880. 7pm, $8. Join the San Francisco Film Society (SFFS) for an arts forum titled, "Tales from Terror," an appreciation, dissection, and dismantling of the misunderstood horror genre and its ties to the Bay Area.