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EDITORIAL: The Agenda for Mayor Lee

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San Francisco has its first Chinese American mayor, and that’s a major, historic milestone. Let’s remember: Chinese immigrants were among the most abused and marginalized communities in the early days of San Francisco. In 1870, the city passed a series of laws limiting the rights of Chinese people to work and live in large parts of the city. Chinese workers built much of the Transcontinental Railroad at slave wages and in desperately unsafe conditions that led to a large number of deaths. The United States didn’t even repeal the Chinese Exclusion Act (an anti-immigration law) until 1943, and for years, Chinatown was one of the poorest and most neglected city neighborhoods.

So there’s good reason for Asians to celebrate that the last door in San Francisco political power is now open. And Mayor Ed Lee comes from a civil rights background; he got his start in politics working as a poverty lawyer and tenant organizer.

Unfortunately, his path to Room 200 was badly marred by some ugly backroom dealing involving Willie Brown, the most corrupt mayor in modern San Francisco history. Even Lee’s supporters agree the process was a mess and that it undermines Lee’s credibility. So it’s important for Mayor Lee to immediately establish that he’s independent of Brown and his cronies, that his administration will not just be a Gavin Newsom rerun, and that progressives can and should support him.

He has a tough job ahead. We urge him to make a clean break with the past and set the city in a new direction. Here are a few ways to get started.

Clear out the Newsom operatives and bring some new people with progressive credentials into the senior ranks. Newsom’s chief of staff, Steve Kawa, has been a shadow mayor for the past year while Newsom was on the campaign trail, and is the architect of much of what the outgoing administration has done to sow political division and cripple city government. Lee needs his own chief advisor.

Show up for question time and work with the district-elected supervisors. Newsom was openly dismissive of the board and refused to take the supervisors seriously as partners in city government. Lee should appear once a month to answer questions from the board in public, should meet regularly with all the supervisors and appoint a liaison that the board can work with and trust. He needs to make his administration as transparent and open as possible and ensure that everyone at City Hall follows the letter and spirit of the Sunshine Ordinance.

Make it clear that the next city budget includes substantial new revenue. Newsom offered nothing but Republican politics when it came to city finance; his only solutions to the massive structural deficit involved service cuts.

The deficit will be even worse than projected this year, since Gov. Jerry Brown wants to transfer much of the state’s responsibility for public safety and public health back to local government and there won’t be enough state money attached to handle the new burden. Lee needs to publicly call on Brown and the Legislature to give cities more ability to raise taxes on the local levee. Then he should start planning for a June ballot package that will raise as much as $250 million in new revenue for the city.

A substantially higher vehicle license fee on expensive cars, a congestion management fee, a significant annual transit impact fee on downtown offices, a restructured business tax, and a progressive tax on income of more than $50,000 a year would more than eliminate the structural deficit.

There are plenty of other revenue ideas out there; not all can or would pass on a single ballot. But Lee needs to make it clear that revenue will be part of the solution and that he will use all the political capital he can muster to convince the voters to go along.

Get serious about community choice aggregation. Newsom loved to talk about his environmental agenda, but when it came to challenging the hegemony of Pacific Gas and Electric Co. and its dirty power portfolio, he ran for cover. His hand-picked Public Utilities Commission director, Ed Harrington, has been an obstacle to implementing the city’s CCA plan. Lee needs to get rid of Harrington or direct him to cooperate with the supervisors and get San Francisco on the path to clean public power.

Establish a real affordable housing program. The city plans to build housing for as many as 60,000 new residents in the southeast neighborhoods but only a fraction of them will be affordable. This city is already well on its way to becoming a high-end bedroom community for Silicon Valley; only a clear policy that limits new market-rate condos until there’s a plan for adequate affordable housing will turn things around.

Support Sanctuary City and quit helping federal immigration authorities break up families. Newsom was just awful on this issue; Lee needs to work with Sup. David Campos to implement more humane laws.

End the demonization of homeless people and public employees. Newsom came to power attacking the homeless (with Care Not Cash) and went out attacking the homeless (with the sit-lie law). Lee ought to tell the Police Department not to aggressively enforce the ordinance.

Take on the sacred cows of the Police and Fire departments. The biggest salary and pension problems in the city are in the two public safety departments. The Fire Department budget has been bloated for years. If everyone else is taking cuts, so should the highest-paid cops and the overstaffed fire stations.

Some of Lee’s supporters insist he’s a solid progressive and that we shouldn’t hold the details of his selection or the fact that he was chosen by people who are openly hostile to the progressive agenda against him. We’re open to that but the progressive community will judge him on his record. And he has to start right away.

Appetite: Mixology times two

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BERETTA MIXOLOGY CLASSES — Class is equal parts learning and pleasure at Beretta during their monthly Monday educational cocktail classes led by Bar Manager Ryan Fitzgerald. Ryan is one of our city’s great bartenders and he shares his ability to showcase the essence of a drink with you. Set up with your own station of bar utensils and ingredients, you’ll experience an interactive two hours with a small group in Beretta’s basement. Shake and stir — learning when it’s appropriate to do each — as you sample your creations. Whether you study whiskey on January 24, tequila (Ryan’s particular passion) on February 21, or gin on March 21, you’ll come away with recipes both classic and modern, artisan but not so complicated that you can’t recreate them easily at home. And it’s all in the name of education.

$85 per person for class, cocktails, and nibbles of food (includes tax and gratuity)

$55 + tax for tools used during the class (optional)
*Class does NOT include tools, they must be purchased separately.

Beretta, 1199 Valencia Street
415-695-1199
Whiskey – January 24, 7-9pm
Tequila – February 21, 7-9pm
Gin – March 21, 7-9pm

Doug Williams makes liquid nitrogen cocktails at last year’s Science of Cocktails. Photo by Virginia Miller.

SCIENCE OF COCKTAILS — Science of Cocktails returns for its second year at the Exploratorium. The inaugural year impressed me despite the dozens of cocktail events I attend in any given year. Scientific displays turn drink-making into scientific art exhibit (for example, watch a shell-less egg being ‘cooked’ with alcohol). Sip your way through one interactive display after another. You may witness a liquid nitrogen cocktail being prepared or learn Japanese hard-shake techniques while sampling cocktails like last year’s layered SF Pousse Cafe from The Alembic or 83 Proof’s use of ingredients from jalapeno skin and toasted peppercorn to Darjeeling simple syrup. Price of admission includes unlimited hors d’oeuvres, demos, a number of cocktails, live entertainment and full reign over the Exploratorium. Bartenders (from 15 Romolo to Rye) and spirit sponsors (from Campo de Encanto Pisco to St. George Spirits/Hangar One) are top notch. Science exhibits were never quite this fun when you were a kid.
$120
January 26, 7:30-11pm
Exploratorium, 3601 Lyon Street
415-561-0360
visit.exploratorium.edu/events/science-of-cocktails

–Subscribe to Virgina’s twice monthly newsletter, The Perfect Spot: www.theperfectspotsf.com

The Guardian Art Series Presents: Clybourne Park

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Clybourne Park, the most acclaimed new comedy of the year!

Winner of the 2010 London Evening Standard Theatre Award for Best New Play and a “Top 10 of 2010” selection for Entertainment Weekly, the New York Times, and the Washington Post, Clybourne Park offers “completely audacious, architecturally ingenious entertainment” (Entertainment Weekly).
Home is where the heart—and history—is in Clybourne Park, which cleverly spins the events of A Raisin in the Sun to tell an unforgettable new story about race and real estate in America. A “buzz-saw sharp new comedy” (The Washington Post) from an adamant provocateur, this riveting play explores the gentrification plans and community uproar that galvanize a middle-class Chicago neighborhood in both 1959 and 2009.

Enjoy $10 Balcony seats through January 30. Live it up with 10UP—world-class theater at happy-hour prices! Visit act-sf.org/clybourne or call 415.749.2228.

Thursday, January 20 at 7PM at ACT
Join SFBG and A.C.T. for a complimentary happy-hour in A.C.T.’s Sky Bar serving Bear Flag wine and Cabot Cheese with the purchase of a 10UP ticket.

ENTER TO WIN
a pair of tickets to the January 20th performance of Clybourne Park by sending your full name to promos@sfbg.com (subject line: Clybourne Park) no later than midnight on Monday, January 17th.  Winners will be contacted via email.  Tickets will be held under the winners name at will call; you must provide a valid photo ID for entry.

What progressive means

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Willie Brown says that choosing a person of color for a leadership position should be a “progressive” value. David Chiu says Ed Lee is a progressive. Several supervisors, and other political observers, say the six-vote progressive majority on the board is gone.

And nobody really talks about what that word means.

Progressive is a term with an excellent political vintage, but it’s changed (as has the political context) since the 1920s. (Progressives these days aren’t into prohibition.) So I’m going to take a few minutes to try to sort this out.

I used to tell John Burton that a progressive was a liberal who didn’t like real estate developers, but that was in the 1980s, when the Democratic Party in town was funded by Walter Shorenstein and other developers, who were happy to be part of the party of Dianne Feinstein, happy to be liberals on some social issues (Shorenstein insisted that the Chamber of Commerce hire and promote more women) and happy to promote liberal candidates like John and his brother Phil for national office – as long as they didn’t mess with the gargantuan money machine that was highrise office development in San Francisco.
Arguing that Shorenstein’s economic agenda was driving up housing prices, destroying low-income neighborhoods and displacing tenants was a waste of time; the liberals like Burton (who also represented real estate developers as a private attorney) weren’t interested.

But these days it’s not all about real estate; it’s about the fact that the level of economic inequality in the United States has risen to levels unseen since the late 1920s, and the impacts are all around us. And it’s about (Democratic) politicians in San Francisco blaming Sacramento, and (Democratic) politicians in Sacramento blaming Washington, and the Democratic Party in the United States abandoning economic equality as a guiding principle.

So I sat down on a Saturday night when the kids went to be (yeah, this is my social life) and made a list of what I think represent the core values of a modern American progressive. It’s a short list, and I’m sure there’s stuff I’ve left off, but it seems like a place to start.

For all the people who are going to blast me in the comments, let me say very clearly: This isn’t a litmus-test list (we’ve endorsed plenty of people who don’t agree with everything on it). It’s not a purity test, it’s not a dogma, it’s not the rules of entry into any political party … it’s just a definition. My personal definition.

Because words don’t mean anything if they don’t mean anything, and progressive has become so much of a part of the San Francisco political dialogue that it’s starting to mean nothing.
For the record: When I use the word “progressive,” I’m talking about people who believe:

1. That civil rights and civil liberties need to be protected for everyone, even the most unpopular people in the world. We’re for same-sex marriage, of course, and for Sanctuary City and protections for immigrants who may not have documentation. We’re also in favor of basic rights for prisoners, we’re against the death penalty, and we think that even suspected terrorists should have the right to due process of law.

2. That essential public services – water, electricity, health care, broadband – should be controlled by the public and not by private corporations. That means public power and single-payer government run health insurance.

3. That the most central problem facing the city, the state and the nation today is the dramatic upward shift of wealth and income and the resulting economic inequality. We believe that government at every level – including local government, right here in San Francisco – should do everything possible to reduce that inequality; that means taxing high incomes, redistributing wealth and using that money for public services (education, for example) that tend to help people achieve a stable middle-class lifestyle. We believe that San Francisco is a rich city, with a lot of rich people, and that if the state and federal government won’t try to tax them to pay for local services, the city should.

4. That private money has no place in elections or public policy. We support a total ban on private campaign contributions, for both politicians and ballot measures, and support public financing for all elections.

5. That the right to private property needs to be tempered by the needs of society. That means you can’t just put up a highrise building anywhere you want in San Francisco, of course, but it also means that the rights of tenants to have stable places for themselves and their families to live is more important than the rights of landlords to maximize return on their property. That’s why we support strict environmental protections, even when they hurt private interests, and why be believe in rent control, including rent control on vacant property, and eviction protections and restrictions on condo conversions. We think community matters more than wealth and that poor people have a place in San Francisco too — and if the wealthier classes have to have less so that the city can have socio-economic diversity, that’s a small price to pay. We believe that public space belongs to the public, and shouldn’t be handed over to private interests; we believe that everyone, including homeless people, has the right to use public space.

6. That there are almost no circumstances where the government should do anything in secret.

7. That progressive elected officials should use their resources and political capital to help elect other progressives – and should recognize that sometimes the movement is more important that their own personal ambitions.

I could add a lot more, but I think those six factors are at the heart of what I mean when I talk about progressives. We support a lot of other things; I put the right of workers to unionize under Number 3, since unions (along with public schools and subsidized higher education) are one of the major forces behind a stable middle class and a more equal society. We think racism and homophobia are never acceptable, and we support affirmative action, but that goes under Number 1.

This is not a socialist manifesto; I never mentioned worker control of the means of production. Progressives don’t oppose private enterprise; they just think that some things essential for the good of society don’t belong in the private sector, and that the private sector should be regulated for the good of all of us. We trust and support small businesses much more than big corporations – and we think their interests are not the same.

I don’t know if Ed Lee fits my definition of a progressive. We won’t know until we see his budget plans, and learn whether he thinks the city should follow Gavin Newsom’s approach of avoiding tax increases and simply cutting services again. We won’t know until he decides what the tell the new police chief about enforcing the sit-lie law. We won’t know until we see whether he keeps Newsom’s staff in place or brings in some senior people with progressive values. We know that the people who pushed him to take the job aren’t progressives by any definition, but you never know. I agree that having an Asian mayor in San Francisco is a very big deal, an historic moment — and when Lee takes office, I will be waiting, and hoping, to be surprised.

So dreamy

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Of all the indie bliss-bands to break through in the last year, Teengirl Fantasy — coming to town Sat/8 — is the dreamiest. Not just in the heart-dotted Tigerbeat vein, although TF’s spangly Angelfire website (teengirlfantasy.angelfire.com) certainly plays on giggle-driven hormone rushes.

No, Oberlin College students Logan Takahashi and Nick Weiss also meticulously tap into a subconscious slipstream of musical influences — 1990s R&B, ’70s soul, Balearic house, Windham Hill new age, bubblegum pop — that roils with allusive energy but never jolts upright into blunt nostalgia or jokey parody. The meticulously layered synth-and-sample compositions on debut album 7AM don’t lead directly to the dance floor either. Instead, they amble ecstatically down some long, spectral hallway toward a distant rave. When performing live, however, Teengirl Fantasy moves multitudes.

SFBG Are you guys still in the midst of your big tour? And did you really play the Great Wall of China?

Nick Weiss We still have one semester left of school, so we tour constantly during school breaks. We played a festival near the Great Wall in August. It was amazing — China was such a nuts place to be. Even though the government attempts to create such a restrictive environment, there are plenty of punks and people who party really out of control. One night we were taken to a Go Kart track around 1 a.m. The place where you bought your tickets was also a bar, so everyone was drunk driving!!! It ruled!!

SFBG You’ve mentioned before that one of the aims of your music is to capture a certain dreaminess or “half-asleep” sensation. There’s a rad sound art exhibition going on from L.A.’s 323 Projects right now that reminded me of you. It’s called “from one side to the other, I’ve dreamed that too.” Basically, you call this number, (323) 843-4652 from anywhere until Jan.17 and it plays an array of sound art pieces made by different people. What would you put on a Teengirl Fantasy Hotline?

Logan Takahashi My voicemail answering message is a recording of one of those Buddha Machines made by FM3. I’ve always thought that was a pretty clever idea for a product or a piece, just a bunch of simple, really pleasant infinite loops.

SFBG Speaking of dreaminess and loops, I think one of the best tracks of the year is “Dancing in Slow Motion” from 7AM. It totally reminds me of how everything sounds when you’re trying to say something in a dream and you wake yourself up — this kind of shivery mumbling. Guest singer Shannon Funchess’ sublimated diva delivery is right on.

NW We met Shannon through her Light Asylum bandmate Bruno Coviello, who coincidentally lived at the studio we were working in. However, we had already seen Light Asylum a bunch of times and knew how amazing her voice was. We wrote the song pretty quickly, but our initial impulse was to make a huge ballad, the size of The-Dream but with a dreamier twist …

SFBG: I also adore the “Dancing in Slow Motion” video, directed by Mark Brown. Between that and the “Cheaters” and “Portofino” videos, you’ve been tagged as adopting a “visualizer” aesthetic. How much input have you had with your videos and the visual manifestation of your music?  

NW: We really just choose an artist whose work we really love, give them the track, and let them do whatever they want. Working with Mark Brown, Kari Altmann, and the legendary IASOS has been so cool… we really love the videos each of them made. I wouldn’t call them pure “visualizer,” I’d say that their looks are pretty intentional rather than automated.  However maybe we just have a pretty high tolerance for rave graphix. I could watch fractals pulse to trance for hours.

LT: Honestly we never intentionally were looking for a unifying aesthetic between our videos, but it is kind of funny to go back and look at the things they have in common. I spent a lot of time watching ‘beyond the mind’s eye’ videos as a child and I think that had an effect on my threshold for abstract 3D FX.

SFBG The title of your album, 7AM is kind of an in-joke to old-school ravers, conjuring up both the kooky bombast of KLF’s “3AM Eternal” and warehouse bragging, as in “Dude, I was there at 7 a.m. when Richie Hawtin dropped ‘Pacific 707.'” Do you guys deliberately build references and concepts into your tracks beforehand, or do they come out of a more organic jamming process?

NW It really is an organic process. We won’t usually start talking about a track until after we’ve written and recorded it. Once we start mixing, we might talk references. But when we’re writing, it’s really more about capturing the live feeling and strengthening improvisations.

LT It helps for us to keep that element of viscerality and response as part of the songwriting process.

SFBG Detroit techno seems a touchstone for you …

LT Detroit!!!! Still trying to make it to the Detroit Electronic Music Festival, hopefully this year. Huge fan of the music that comes out of that city.

TEENGIRL FANTASY with Pictureplane, Tormenta Tropical, and Donuts DJs. Sat/8, 10 p.m., $5––$10. Elbo Room, 647 Valencia, SF. www.elbo.com.

NORM MACDONALD

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Live Nation is pleased to announce Norm MacDonald will tape his Comedy Central Special on Friday, January 14, 2011 at The Fillmore in San Francisco, CA.

You laughed at him on Saturday Night Live…you loved him in Dirty Work, Dr Doolittle, and My Name is Earl…You might have even watched “The Norm Show”…Now, see him live and uncensored, right here in San Francisco…

Perhaps best known for his offbeat delivery of “the fake news” onSaturday Night Live” for five seasons, MacDonald proved that his acerbic wit and writing were not to be contained to just the small screen.

MacDonald starred in the film Dirty Work, , was seen in Billy Madison , The People Vs. Larry Flint  and was the voice of ” Lucky the Dog” in Dr. Doolittle.

It’s Norm MacDonald, live at the Fillmore, Friday January 14th… Don’t miss it 2 shows, one night only, Friday January 14th at the historic Fillmore Auditorium! 
 
For ticket and show information go to http://www.livenation.com

Friday, January 14th at 7:30pm & 10pm @ The Fillmore,1805 Gearly Blvd., San Francisco
 
WIN TICKETS to the 7:30pm show by sending an email to promos@sfbg.com, subject line: Norm MacDonald, by 5pm on Friday, January 7th.

Chris Daly’s Final Say

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As part of my effort to compile a list of most roastable moments of Sup. Chris Daly‘s decade-long career at City Hall, I asked the termed-out D6 supervisor if he would sit down for an exit interview. And shortly before Christmas, when there was still hope the Board would select a progressive interim mayor, and Daly had not yet vowed to politically haunt Board President David Chiu with shouts of, “It’s on like Donkey Kong” , we arranged to meet me at the Buck Tavern on Market Street, which Daly, who now holds the liquor license, is threatening to rename “Daly’s Dive.”

As it happens, the lion’s share of our conversation ended up taking place by cell, since Daly got stuck in late afternoon commuter traffic, as he drove to San Francisco from Fairfield, where his wife and children have lived since April 2009, making him a fitting symbol of the East-Bay-and-beyond migration pattern of couples who live in San Francisco, until they have more than one kid.

Except not all couples with two small kids get to move into one of two foreclosed properties that the in-laws bought with $545,000 cash in spring 2009. At the time, Daly’s critics accused him making such a mess of governing the city that he had decided against raising his own family here. Daly predictably disagreed. “There are few people who think about the future of San Francisco and the health of the city more than me,” Daly told reporters, explaining that his wife wanted family support raising their children, so she had moved to the same cul-de-sac as her parents, as Daly continued to live in a condo in San Francisco with roommates and to see his family on weekends.

Anyways, on the dark and stormy night that I interviewed Daly in mid-December, he acknowledged that he was going to be in for one helluva roast at the Independent on Jan. 5. in the worst possible sense of the tradition.
“Will there be controversial subjects, things that on the face of it, are not very nice? Yes,” Daly said.

And then he claimed he had agreed to this ordeal, because, under the roast’s traditional format , he would get to go last—and thus would get to have the last word.
“Why would I want to end my City Hall career like this? Because I get to go last, and can really say what’s on my mind,” Daly said. “Unless the D.J. wants to say something as he’s spinning.”

Daly’s comment suggests that folks who attend his roast at the Independent will witness a historically vicious verbal drubbing on all sides, since no one has ever accused Daly of holding back from saying what was on his mind. Even if it has led to seemingly counterproductive “We are shocked, SHOCKED!” responses. Like the time Sup. Michela Alioto Pier introduced an ultimately doomed etiquette ordinance, after Daly swore at a constituent during a City Hall meeting, in 2004.

Daly said at the time that he comes from a background as a housing-rights organizer on the streets of Philadelphia and San Francisco, where confrontation was an effective political tool. But he also claimed that he had learned an important lesson.
“In the future it’s going to be better for me personally and politically to focus my energy positively on the people I care about instead of negatively on the people I think are doing them harm,” Daly reportedly said.

Fast forward six years, and Daly is unrepentant about his record of fighting for low-income people, while openly defying City Hall’s unwritten rules of etiquette.
“Etiquette always seemed a little silly, something for the ‘other’ San Francisco, for the prim and the proper and that’s not what I am concerned about,” Daly said. “I’m aware of the turn-the-other-check philosophy, and, if I were religious, I’d be out of the Old Testament. I’d be, if someone pokes you in the eye, I’d poke back.”

Daly says he stopped caring about etiquette towards the end of his first year in office. “When those in power use that power to put down those who are less advantaged, when I see that, I respond quickly and with as much force as I can to prevent them from doing that kind of thing again,” he said. “ If you want to attack homeless people for political advantage, I’m going to attack you right back. That’s not ‘proper,’ but I think it’s just.”

Daly says he also soon realized tthat the truth wasn’t the driver.
“I already knew that money, power and significant forces would be pushing back against me but then I discovered that the actual truth wasn’t what played out there in the world of spin. It’s like when the Examiner’s Josh Sabatini asked me how I want to be remembered, and I said, “Not as the caricature the Examiner created of me.”

Daly, who moved to San Francisco in 1993 to work on homeless and affordable housing issues, was at the heart of the movement around Ammiano’s 1999 write-in campaign for mayor, and part of the progressive sweep onto the Board, in 2000.

“For me, it’s never been about being a ‘good’ vote. I breathe leftist progressive politics,” Daly said. “Where I can make more of a mark is in terms of setting the stage for those votes and holding the line in districts that are not progressive. I’m very proud of my attempts to hold the line on issues, but the work doesn’t make any friends.”

Daly noted that after he made comments about Newsom’s alleged cocaine use during the 2007 Mayor’s race, downtown interests threw everything they had left at him.
‘They got a lot of hits in, but no total blows,” he opines. “Last time I checked, I saved the city $150 million on the Americas Cup deal that they were going to ram rod through.”

And so, as he prepares to begin life as a bar owner, don’t expect Daly to pass up opportunities to launch verbal attacks, if he believes they are warranted, political consequences be damned.

“People want to have the power without any of the negativity they associate with all the shit we have to deal with to build this power,” Daly added. “So, it’s all, Daly and [former Board President Aaron] Peskin took control of the Democratic Party at midnight. Well, how did you want us to take over? “

Daly claims if you take away “negatives” attributed to him, you take away his wins. “People call me a lot of things, but I’m not a loser, I win a lot” Daly added, noting that Democrats being nice to Republicans has led to losses in D.C., not gains. “So, yes, I’ve got a lot of negatives, and they’ve clearly been made into a target, but if I can take the hits, and help people I care about, I’m happy to do it. That’s what I’ve done for ten years.”

Daly says he’s become “pretty desensitized to criticism,” even as he admits to being a sensitive person, deep inside. “I don’t think I’d have quite the visceral response to poverty and oppression, if I wasn’t sensitive,” he said. “I care deeply about people’s struggles. That’s why I’m here, but I also have a pretty solid critique of capitalism and I know how to follow the money, so when I get criticized by some downtown mouthpiece, I know what time it is.”

Daly says he started the Daly Blog several years ago, to push back against what he felt was unfair treatment in the media. And he says he endorsed outgoing mayor Newsom for Lt. Governor, despite their long and antagonistic history, so progressives could have a shot at installing a mayor in Room 200.

“My money now is on the selection of the mayor going to the new Board, and Avalos getting it in the 13th round of voting,” Daly said.

Daly made that prediction three weeks before the progressives on the Board seem poised to hand the keys to R.200 to City Administrator Ed Lee—thereby eliciting Daly’s ballistic “Donkey Kong” outburst.

With the outgoing Board set to meet Friday to make a selection, here’s another Daly roastable moment, this time from Peskin, related to the fall-out that ensued after Daly made two appointments to the SFPUC, while serving as acting mayor for one day, while then Mayor Willie Brown was out of the country, on a trip to Tibet.

“When Mayor Willie Brown left office, Charlotte Schultz had an unveiling ceremony of Brown’s picture. Newsom, who by then was mayor, was presiding. And Charlotte had a beautiful easel with a golden drape over it. When she pulled back the curtain there was a picture of Daly, who was listed as “41st and a half” mayor presiding from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. on October 22,” Peskin recalled, noting that under Daly’s picture there was another curtain that contained Brown’s actual portrait.”

And while Daly’s controversial statements and outbursts always make headlines, there is no denying that he helped make the progressive agenda, including establishing mandatory paid sick days, universal healthcare, and forcing developers to contribute in affordable housing or services for poor, an integral part of city policy.
 “The Chronicle used him as the poster child to try and dissuade anyone from supporting a progressive agenda,” former Sup. Jake McGoldrick observed. “He was used to smear any of our good ideas. And Chris never seemed to understand that some of us needed to be a little more sensitive, since we needed to get re-elected and didn’t represent districts that were as progressive as his. Personal attacks make the whole situation smell bad.”

Sup. John Avalos, who served as Daly’s legislative aide until he was elected as D11 supervisor, acknowledged that a lot of folks have accused Daly of doing irreparable harm to the progressive movement and being a gift to Newsom and the moderates at City Hall.
“People try and make hay out of it,” he said. “But his antics have probably hurt him more than anyone,” Avalos added, noting that he ran in 2008 as Daly’s former legislative aide.
‘And it didn’t hurt me, and I made no bones about where I came from.”

And then there’s the fact Daly defeated the Chamber ’s Rob Black in the 2006 election. “We don’t do enough to have better relationships between ourselves,” Avalos added , reflecting on the divided progressive movement. “It’s more than just one person.”
 
Peskin for his part acknowledges that Daly will be missed on the Board.
 “He sucked the oxygen out of the room and made it all super lefty and caustic, and it certainly did not allow a better conversation to evolve,” Peskin said. “But it’s still going to be a pretty profound loss.”

Psychic Dream Astrology

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Jan. 5-11

ARIES

March 21-April 19

Remove either/or thinking from your mind. You are on call to see things creatively this week by searching for the potential inherent in them. When you see a wall, feel around and you just might find that it’s actually a door.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20

Make direct communication your BFF this week. By overcoming ambiguities, you will have more peace and less confusion! You will also have to be more responsible. The trade-off will be worth it, Taurus.

GEMINI

May 21-June 21

The Universe wants you to live a self-appropriate life, Gem, and this week she will have her say. Be on the look out for disappointments that are actually gifts to allow you to make your life more your own.

CANCER

June 22-July 22

Anxiety is an invitation to find balance within. Approach your mind and its obsessions with patience and care this week. Many small shifts are required of you so you can be healthy and happy in your head.

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22

It’s so important that you act in concert with your integrity, Leo. You screw no one but yourself when you give what you don’t have to give or take what isn’t yours. Strive for authentic above all else this week.

VIRGO

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

Allow yourself to delve into your greatest wishes, Virgo. You’re in a great place to manifest things, but if you are not careful you will manifest your fears. Think positive and dream of happiness.

LIBRA

Sept. 23-Oct. 22

You’re not able to control other people, but you are responsible for what you do or don’t do. Trust your instincts above all else and don’t make plans based on others this week. Be the change you want to see in your life.

SCORPIO

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

You are laying excellent foundations in your life for future successes, so why the long face, Scorpio? It’s all good to feel the sad parts of your life — just don’t let it overwhelm the good stuff you’ve got going on.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

Your ego is a tricky little guy, whispering in your ear and telling you what you deserve. But whether your ego says you deserve less or more than other people, it’s equally not to be trusted! Avoid fearful thinking this week.

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

You’re at the end of a cycle, and it’s a biggie. Move through your situations and your feelings at a pace you can maintain so you don’t degenerate into your worried, wartish ways.

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

The status quo is so 2010. Bring on the change and individualistic risk-taking that your sign is famous for in 2011! Just pair it with honest, direct communication with the folks who count for best results.

PISCES

Feb. 19-March 20

Instead of throwing everything off the ship in a panic, turn off the motor, throw down an anchor, and take a better look at what’s got you so overwhelmed. Don’t mistake insecurity for danger, because they require different solutions. 

Jessica Lanyadoo has been a Psychic Dreamer for 16 years. Check out her website at www.lovelanyadoo.com or contact her for an astrology or intuitive reading at (415) 336-8354 or dreamyastrology@gmail.com

Music Listings

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Music listings are compiled by Cheryl Eddy. Since club life is unpredictable, it’s a good idea to call ahead to confirm bookings and hours. Prices are listed when provided to us. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

WEDNESDAY 5

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Artwork Jamal Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $15.

Funky C Elbo Room. 9pm.

Slim Jenkins, Swamp Angel Café Du Nord. 9:30pm, $7.

Ohio Players Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $25-35.

Ash Reiter, Pentacles, Thralls Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $6.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Gaucho, Michael Abraham Amnesia. 7pm, free.

Michael Parsons Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:30pm, free.

DANCE CLUBS

Booty Call Q-Bar, 456 Castro, SF; www.bootycallwednesdays.com. 9pm. Juanita Moore hosts this dance party, featuring DJ Robot Hustle.

Cannonball Beauty Bar. 10pm, free. Rock, indie, and nu-disco with DJ White Mike.

Hands Down! Bar on Church. 9pm, free. With DJs Claksaarb, Mykill, and guests spinning indie, electro, house, and bangers.

Jam Fresh Wednesdays Vessel, 85 Campton, SF; (415) 433-8585. 9:30pm, free. With DJs Slick D, Chris Clouse, Rich Era, Don Lynch, and more spinning top40, mashups, hip hop, and remixes. Mary-Go-Round Lookout, 3600 16th St, SF; (415) 431-0306. 10pm, $5. A weekly drag show with hosts Cookie Dough, Pollo Del Mar, and Suppositori Spelling.

Red Wine Social Triple Crown. 5:30-9:30pm, free. DJ TophOne and guests spin outernational funk and get drunk.

Respect Wednesdays End Up. 10pm, $5. Rotating DJs Daddy Rolo, Young Fyah, Irie Dole, I-Vier, Sake One, Serg, and more spinning reggae, dancehall, roots, lovers rock, and mash ups.

Synchronize Il Pirata, 2007 16th St, SF; (415) 626-2626. 10pm, free. Psychedelic dance music with DJs Helios, Gatto Matto, Psy Lotus, Intergalactoid, and guests.

THURSDAY 6

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Death Valley High, I’m Dirty Too Knockout. 9pm, $5.

Havarti Party, Buffalo Tooth, PM, Maston Stud. 8pm, free.

Doug MacLeod Union Room at Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $12.

Megafauna, Suite Unraveling, Quinn Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $6.

Ohio Players Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $25-35.

Oona, Con Brio, Karyn Page Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $8.

Titan Ups, Wicked Mercies, Franco Nero, DJ Dr. Scott Café Du Nord. 8pm, $12.

Verna Beware, Danvilles, Nervous Wreckords Thee Parkside. 9pm, $7.

Jimmy Warren Biscuits and Blues. 8pm, $18.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Chris Clark Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:30pm, free.

Loe and the Nastys Red Poppy Art House. 7pm, $10-15.

Valerie Troutt Jazz and Soul Quartet Coda. 9pm.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Dark Hollow Band Atlas Café. 8pm, free.

DANCE CLUBS

Afrolicious Elbo Room. 9:30pm, $10. DJs Pleasuremaker and Señor Oz spin Afrobeat, tropicália, electro, samba, and funk.

Caribbean Connection Little Baobab, 3388 19th St, SF; (415) 643-3558. 10pm, $3. DJ Stevie B and guests spin reggae, soca, zouk, reggaetón, and more.

Club Jammies Edinburgh Castle. 10pm, free. DJs EBERrad and White Mice spinning reggae, punk, dub, and post punk.

Drop the Pressure Underground SF. 6-10pm, free. Electro, house, and datafunk highlight this weekly happy hour.

Electric Feel Lookout, 3600 16th St, SF; www.fringesf.com. 9pm, $2. Indie music video dance party with subOctave and Blondie K.

Good Foot Som., 2925 16th St, SF; (415) 558-8521. 10pm, free. With resident DJs Haylow, A-Ron, Prince Aries, Boogie Brown, Ammbush, plus food carts and community creativity.

Guilty Pleasures Gestalt, 3159 16th St, SF; (415) 560-0137. 9:30pm, free. DJ TophZilla, Rob Metal, DJ Stef, and Disco-D spin punk, metal, electro-funk, and 80s.

Holy Thursday Underground SF. 10pm, $5. Bay Area electronic hip hop producers showcase their cutting edge styles monthly.

Jivin’ Dirty Disco Butter, 354 11th St., SF; (415) 863-5964. 8pm, free. With DJs spinning disco, funk, and classics.

Koko Puffs Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 885-4788. 10pm, free. Dubby roots reggae and Jamaican funk from rotating DJs.

Lacquer Beauty Bar. 10pm-2am, free. DJs Mario Muse and Miss Margo bring the electro.

Mestiza Bollywood Café, 3376 19th St, SF; (415) 970-0362. 10pm, free. Showcasing progressive Latin and global beats with DJ Juan Data.

Peaches Skylark, 10pm, free. With an all female DJ line up featuring Deeandroid, Lady Fingaz, That Girl, and Umami spinning hip hop.

Popscene Rickshaw Stop. 9pm, $18. With Blaqk Audio.

Studio SF Triple Crown. 9pm, $5. Keeping the Disco vibe alive with authentic 70’s, 80’s, and current disco with DJs White Girl Lust, Ken Vulsion, and Sergio.

FRIDAY 7

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

BlackMahal, Afrolicious, DJ Timoteo Café Du Nord. 9pm, $10.

James Intveld, Red Meat Independent. 9pm, $14.

Monkey, Rule 5 DNA Lounge. 9pm, $10.

Jackie Payne Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $20.

Phenomenauts, Tornado Rider, Manzanita Rickshaw Stop. 8pm, $12.

Slowburn, Planting Seeds, Ben Benkert Band, Aspect Slim’s. 9pm, $11.

Soft White Sixties, Trophy Fire, Bird By Bird, Beta State Great American Music Hall. 8pm, $11.

Space Vacation, Gypsyhawk, Green and Wood Hemlock Tavern. 9:30pm, $7.

Velvet Teen, Silian Rail, Low-five Bottom of the Hill. 10pm, $12.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Musical Art Quintet Red Poppy Art House. 8pm, $10.

“San Francisco Tape Music Festival” Southside Theater, Fort Mason Center, Bldg D, Bay at Buchanan, SF; www.sfsound.org. 8pm, $8-15.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Michael Winegard Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 9pm, free.

DANCE CLUBS

Braza! Som.10pm, $10. With DJs Vanka, Elan, and Caasi.

Deeper 222 Hyde, 222 Hyde, SF; (415) 345-8222. 9pm, $10. With rotating DJs spinning dubstep and techno.

Dirty Rotten Dance Party Madrone Art Bar. 9pm, $5. With DJs Morale, Kap10 Harris, and Shane King spinning electro, bootybass, crunk, swampy breaks, hyphy, rap, and party classics. Exhale, Fridays Project One Gallery, 251 Rhode Island, SF; (415) 465-2129. 5pm, $5. Happy hour with art, fine food, and music with Vin Sol, King Most, DJ Centipede, and Shane King.

Fat Stack Fridays Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 885-4788. 10pm, free. With rotating DJs B-Cause, Vinnie Esparza, Mr. Robinson, Toph One, and Slopoke.

Fubar Fridays Butter, 354 11th St., SF; (415) 863-5964. 6pm, $5. With DJs spinning retro mashup remixes.

Good Life Fridays Apartment 24, 440 Broadway, SF; (415) 989-3434. 10pm, $10. With DJ Brian spinning hip hop, mashups, and top 40.

Hot Chocolate Milk. 9pm, $5. With DJs Big Fat Frog, Chardmo, DuseRock, and more spinning old and new school funk.

Original Plumbing: Fashion Elbo Room. 10pm, $5. Fashion show with DJs Rapid Fire and 100 Spokes.

Rockabilly Fridays Jay N Bee Club, 2736 20th St, SF; (415) 824-4190. 9pm, free. With DJs Rockin’ Raul, Oakie Oran, Sergio Iglesias, and Tanoa “Samoa Boy” spinning 50s and 60s Doo Wop, Rockabilly, Bop, Jive, and more.

Some Thing Stud. 10pm, $7. VivvyAnne Forevermore, Glamamore, and DJ Down-E give you fierce drag shows and afterhours dancing.

Strangelove Cat Club. 9:30pm, $6. “Back to School Night” with old school vs. new school goth and DJs Tomas Diablo, Bryan Hawk, Melting Girl, and Daniel Skellington.

Vintage Orson, 508 Fourth St, SF; (415) 777-1508. 5:30-11pm, free. DJ TophOne and guest spin jazzy beats for cocktalians.

SATURDAY 8

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

ArnoCorps, Judgement Day, A Band of Orcs Slim’s. 9pm, $14.

Blisses B, Moonlight Orchestra, Vandella Bottom of the Hill. 10pm, $10.

Blvd, Pink Mammoth Independent. 9pm, $15.

Communist Kayte, Basements Thee Parkside. 3pm, free.

Flash Gilmore and the Funbeatles, Lance Burden, Chineke, Organ Trail Kimo’s. 9pm, $7.

Melvins Great American Music Hall. 8pm, $21.

Radishes, Hounds and Harlots, Weekender Hemlock Tavern. 9:30pm, $6.

E.C. Scott Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $20.

Walken, Cutthroats 9, Moses El Rio. 10pm, $7.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Pete Cornell Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 9pm, free.

Patrick Wolff Quintet Red Poppy Art House. 8pm, $10-15.

“San Francisco Tape Music Festival” Southside Theater, Fort Mason Center, Bldg D, Bay at Buchanan, SF; www.sfsound.org. 8pm, $8-15.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Ramblin’ Jack Elliott Noe Valley Ministry, 1021 Sanchez, SF; www.noevalleymusicseries.com. 8:15pm, $22.

Whisky Richards, 77 El Deora, Bootcuts, Songs Hotbox Harry Taught Us Café Du Nord. 9pm, $13.

Craig Ventresco and Meredith Axelrod Atlas Café. 4pm, free.

DANCE CLUBS

Bootie DNA Lounge. 9pm, $6-12. Mash-ups with Adrien and Mysterious D.

Bowie and Elvis Birthday Bash Edinburgh Castle Pub. 9pm, $5. With DJs Shindog, Skip, and special guests.

Cockblock Rickshaw Stop. 10pm, $7. Queer dance party for homos and friends with DJ Nuxx and guests.

Fire Corner Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 885-4788. 9:30pm, free. Rare and outrageous ska, rocksteady, and reggae vinyl with Revival Sound System and guests.

Frolic Stud. 9pm, $3-7. DJs Dragn’Fly, NeonBunny, and Ikkuma spin at this celebration of anthropomorphic costume and dance. Animal outfits encouraged.

Hacienda Deco Lounge, 510 Larkin, SF; www.decosf.com. 10pm, free. Underground dance music with Inqilab and Tristes Tropiques plus guest Tal Klein.

HYP Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, SF; www.eightsf.com. 10pm, free. Gay and lesbian hip-hop party, featuring DJs spinning the newest in the top 40s hip hop and hyphy.

Rock City Butter, 354 11th St., SF; (415) 863-5964. 6pm, $5 after 10pm. With DJs spinning party rock.

Same Sex Salsa and Swing Magnet, 4122 18th St, SF; (415) 305-8242. 7pm, free.

Spirit Fingers Sessions 330 Ritch. 9pm, free. With DJ Morse Code and live guest performances.

Spotlight Siberia, 314 11th St, SF; (415) 552-2100. 10pm. With DJs Slowpoke, Double Impact, and Moe1.

Tormenta Tropical vs. Donuts Rickshaw Stop. 10pm, $5-10. With Teengirl Fantasy, Pictureplane, Disco Shawn, Oro11, and Pickpocket.

SUNDAY 9

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Jake Bellows, Whispertown, Heather Porcaro and the Heartstring Symphony Hotel Utah. 8pm, $8.

Grass Widow, Babies, White Fence Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $7.

Swann Danger, Bellicose Minds Knockout. 8pm, $6.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

“San Francisco Tape Music Festival” Southside Theater, Fort Mason Center, Bldg D, Bay at Buchanan, SF; www.sfsound.org. 8pm, $8-15.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Afro Lungs Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:30pm, free.

*Willie Nelson Fillmore. 8pm, $55.

West Coast Ramblers Thee Parkside. 4pm, free.

DANCE CLUBS

Call In Sick Skylark. 9pm, free. DJs Animal and I Will spin danceable hip-hop.

DiscoFunk Mashups Cat Club. 10pm, free. House and 70’s music.

Dub Mission Elbo Room. 9pm, $6. Dub, roots, and classic dancehall with DJs Sep, Maneesh the Twister, and guest Sake1.

Gloss Sundays Trigger, 2344 Market, SF; (415) 551-CLUB. 7pm. With DJ Hawthorne spinning house, funk, soul, retro, and disco.

Honey Soundsystem Paradise Lounge. 8pm-2am. “Dance floor for dancers – sound system for lovers.” Got that?

Kick It Bar on Church. 9pm. Hip-hop with DJ Zax.

Religion Bar on Church. 3pm. With DJ Nikita.

Swing Out Sundays Rock-It Room. 7pm, free (dance lessons $15). DJ BeBop Burnie spins 20s through 50s swing, jive, and more.

MONDAY 10

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Champagne Champagne, Mad Rad, C U Next Weekend, Moe Green Elro Room. 9pm, $8-10.

Foreign Objects, Neocon, Sydney Ducks Hemlock Tavern. 8pm, $5.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Lavay Smith Swinget with Jules Broussard Enrico’s, 504 Broadway, SF; (415) 982-6223. 7pm, free.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Toshio Hirano Amnesia. 9pm, free.

*Willie Nelson Fillmore. 8pm, $55.

DANCE CLUBS

Black Gold Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 885-4788. 10pm-2am, free. Senator Soul spins Detroit soul, Motown, New Orleans R&B, and more — all on 45!

Death Guild DNA Lounge. 9:30pm, $3-5. Gothic, industrial, and synthpop with Joe Radio, Decay, and Melting Girl.

Krazy Mondays Beauty Bar. 10pm, free. With DJs Ant-1, $ir-Tipp, Ruby Red I, Lo, and Gelo spinning hip hop.

M.O.M. Madrone Art Bar. 6pm, free. With DJ Gordo Cabeza and guests playing all Motown every Monday.

Manic Mondays Bar on Church. 9pm. Drink 80-cent cosmos with Djs Mark Andrus and Dangerous Dan.

Network Mondays Azul Lounge, One Tillman Pl, SF; www.inhousetalent.com. 9pm, $5. Hip-hop, R&B, and spoken word open mic, plus featured performers.

Skylarking Skylark. 10pm, free. With resident DJs I & I Vibration, Beatnok, and Mr. Lucky and weekly guest DJs.

TUESDAY 11

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP Ex Masheena, Baysic Wonder, Stork Biscuits and Blues. 9pm, $8. Fat Tuesday Band Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $15. Rooftop Vigilantes, Primary Structures, Freddi and the Aztecs Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $6. Roomful of Blues Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8pm, $30. Sweet Chariot, Sparrows Gate, Montra, Nico’s Georis, Matt Baldwin Slim’s. 8pm, $5. FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY *Willie Nelson Fillmore. 8pm, $55. JAZZ/NEW MUSIC Nick Culp Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:30pm, free. DANCE CLUBS Alcoholocaust Presents Argus Lounge. 9pm, free. With DJ Aesop Dekker and DJ Denim Yeti. Bombshell Betty and Her Burlesqueteers Elbo Room. 9pm, $10. With Fromagique. Eclectic Company Skylark, 9pm, free. DJs Tones and Jaybee spin old school hip hop, bass, dub, glitch, and electro. Extra Classic DJ Night Little Baobab, 3388 19th St, SF; www.bissapbaobab.com. 10pm. Dub, roots, rockers, and reggae from the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Fashion Feud Rickshaw Stop. 7pm, free. With designers Crystal Hermann and Mary M. Yanez. Rock Out Karaoke! Amnesia. 7:30pm. With Glenny Kravitz. Share the Love Trigger, 2344 Market, SF; (415) 551-CLUB. 5pm, free. With DJ Pam Hubbuck spinning house. Womanizer Bar on Church. 9pm. With DJ Nuxx.<\! *

On the Cheap Listings

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On the Cheap listings are compiled by Caitlin Donohue. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

WEDNESDAY 5

Concierto de Reyes Mission Cultural Center for Latino Arts, 2868 Mission, SF; (415) 643-5001, www.missioncultural.org. 2pm, free. The Coro Hispano of San Francisco, a chorus comprised of Spanish-speaking community members, has been celebrating Latin America through song since 1975. Join ’em for their annual kids holiday concert, which will cover turf as varied as renaissance motets and aguinaldos (Christmas folk music) from Peru, Venezuela, Puerto Rico, and more.

Glen Canyon habitat restoration Glen Park Recreation Center, 70 Elk, SF; (415) 337-4705, www.sfrecpark.org. 9am-noon, free. Sure, you’ve made “that” resolution for the millionth time. But how about you snap out of that pudgy pity party and truck out to a little exercise that benefits more than just your waist line? SF parks are in need of TLC if they want to fend off invasive species and you can join in on the action at this morning of weeding, planting, and pruning. Dress to get muddy and active – and indulge in the free snacks provided free of your Christmas cookie guilt.

FRIDAY 7

Jaime Cortez: “Universal Remote” Southern Exposure, 3030 20th St., SF; (415) 863-2141, www.soex.org Through Feb. 19. Opening reception 7-9pm, free. It’s been months, but we still have a big in our hearts the size of a glittery glove. Thankfully, here comes visual artist Jaime Cortez’s solo exhibition, which calls out the tragic, tremendous pop culture whorl that was MJ – and highlights the King of Pop’s fluid moves through race, sexuality, and zombie-human relations.

Oakland Art Murmur Telegraph and 23rd St., Oakl.; www.oaklandartmurmur.com. 6-10 p.m., free. Rediscover what downtown Oakland’s got going on art-wise with this monthly show-and-tell by the neighborhood’s best and brightest art galleries. This week, catch Jennie Ottinger’s book art at Johansson Projects (excerpt from her truncated version of As I Lay Dying: “Holy shit, this family is cursed! Very National Lampoon’s Vacation.“)

SATURDAY 8

Parent-child snow globe class Randall Museum, 199 Museum Way, SF; (415) 554-9600, www.randallmuseum.org. 1-4pm, $6 for children; $10 for parent-child duos. The holidays are over, and yeah it’s still cold and rainy. But take heart! Winter can be time for good cheer even after Santa’s packed up the sleigh and gone north. Make a shakable wonder with your wee one and enjoy the rest of Randall Museum’s “Saturdays are Special” event (10am-4pm), which includes railroad exhibits, live animal feedings, and the rest of the science-y wonders present throughout the rest of this always-free museum.

Vintage Paper Expo Hall of Flowers, Golden Gate Park, Lincoln and Ninth Ave., SF; (328) 883-1702, www.vintagepaperfair.com. 10am-6pm, free. (Also Sun/9, 10am-4pm) Postcards, photos, brochures, stereoviews, and so much more! What’s a stereoview, you ask? Why, nothing less than an antique 3D image – something you can acquaint yourself with at this fair of all things printed and retro. The Vintage Paper Expo’s got over 100 vendors this year, all primed to sell you affordable scraps of history.

Writers With Drinks The Make Out Room, 3225 22nd St., SF; (415) 647-2888, www.writerswithdrinks.com. 7:30-9:30pm, $5-10 sliding scale. Writers? Drink? Well, I guess there’s a first time for everything! This long-standing lit night series pairs local scribes (this month’s are girl group Gogos founder Jane Wiedlin and socio-writer Ethan Watters) with a crowd that’s anything but stiff for readings, skits, and stand-up.

MONDAY 10

Cinema Drafthouse: Machete The Independent, 628 Divisadero, SF; (415) 771-1421, www.theindependentsf.com. 9pm, free. A deliberately silly revenge plot that’s both spot-on vintage homage and semi-serious commentary on America’s ongoing immigration debate gets the Indy’s free movie night treatment. Watch the film with a beer in hand (or two) – and feel free to shout advice to the characters on-screen. You’re in a music venue, for chrissakes.

TUESDAY 11

Pecha Kucha 330 Ritch, 330 Ritch, SF; www.pecha-kucha.org. 7pm, $5 donation suggested. Embarking as we are on month number one of year two-thousand-and-one-one, the theme of this month’s installation of this cross-discipline art night series is, yes, “one.” Not the most specific theme, sure – but that’s the way artists like it, and when you’ve assembled a passel of them from fields as varied as industrial design, animation, and fashion, sometimes it’s best just to step back and watch them unify.

Coming attractions

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arts@sfbg.com

HAIRY EYEBALL Welcome to 2011. It’s a new dawn, it’s a young decade, and I’m feeling good about the following shows worth eyeballing now or further down the line.

 

JOB PISTON: “WE TOOK A FAMILY PORTRAIT”

On a recent trip back to Taiwan, Job Piston took pictures of his grandfather’s garden, the former backdrop for many a family portrait. In Piston’s crisp C-prints, the garden stands as a verdant, almost-threatened exception to the urban sprawl that has sprung up around it. Standing in contrast to these landscapes are Piston’s photograms of the city that has grown beyond the walls of his grandfather’s compound. Created by exposing photographic paper to images on a computer screen originally shot by Piston using his cellphone, these are second-generation copies: photographs of pictures. Much like the now depopulated garden, the blurred, imprecise photograms are reminders, both beautiful and sad, that even through pictures one can never go back. Through Jan. 29. Silverman Gallery, 804 Sutter, SF. Tues.-Sat., 11 a.m.-6 p.m. (415) 255-9508, www.silverman-gallery.com.

 

GEOFF CHADSEY: “SHIFT, RETURN”

Seemingly summoned from online backwaters of amateur gay porn sites, the men in Geoff Chadsey’s watercolor pencil portraits are turned on, tuned out, and chopped and screwed. An Abercrombie & Fitch-clad stud poses contrapposto in his underwear, his African American face standing in stark contrast to his blond tresses and white appendages. A shirtless bro in a trucker hat, his eyes squinting somewhere between sexy face and catatonia, has an extra set of arms. The lurid flush of Chadsey’s color palette — blues like Drano, pink flesh that crawls with green — only adds to the discomfiting mix of the banal and the extraordinary in his work. Through Feb. 12. Electric Works, 130 Eighth St., SF. (415) 626-5496, www.sfelectricworks.com.

 

RUTH HODGINS AND KIT ROSENBERG: “ALTERED STATES”

Ruth Hodgins and Kit Rosenberg are a collaborative duo who met as MFA students at the SF Art Institute. While they are by no means the first artists to re-present everyday objects and materials, the “all bets are off” approach their work takes play very seriously, extending visual puns into more complicated thought experiments. In Theseus, for example, cooking twine is spun around nails hammered into on a board to create a wall-mounted labyrinth, as if to say that which forms the prison is also the means of escaping it. Through Feb. 19. WE Artspace. 768 40th St., Oakl. www.weartspace.com.

 

“ENTER SLOWLY”

David Cunningham’s excellent gallery space at 924 Folsom may be no more, but the man with the golden eye is still actively curating. Case in point: this group show at The Lab, which brings together work by six European artists operating at the intersection of architecture, sculpture, and installation. Of particular note is Cath Campbell’s second full scale realization of her ongoing installation 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover, which uses the titles of sentimental pop songs as blueprints for drawings, video, and models of imagined spaces. Jan. 14-Feb. 19. The Lab, 2948 16th St., SF. (415) 864-8855, www.thelab.org.

 

EVA HESSE: “STUDIOWORK”

A belated coda of sorts to the large Hesse retrospective SFMOMA held back in 2002, this show focuses on the small, makeshift pieces that the sculptor would use as test runs or sketches of her larger works-in-progress. A friend once described Hesse’s amalgams of latex, wire-mesh, wax, fiberglass, and cheesecloth as “sad sacks,” but I don’t think that designation covers the range of effect her work elicits. There’s exuberance, playfulness, and even eroticism, to be found in her manipulation of the above industrial materials; all qualities I hope shine through in even these self-consciously “minor” works of an artist who was anything but. Also on tap at BAM for August is a retrospective of the stunning collage work of another German, painter Kurt Schwitters. Pencil it in. Jan. 26-April 10. Berkeley Art Museum, 2626 Bancroft, Berk. (510) 642-0808, www.bampfa.berkeley.edu.

 

“THE STEINS COLLECT”

Gertrude Stein famously wore Balmain and had her portrait painted by Picasso. Lady knew how to live. So too, apparently, did her brothers Leo and Michael, and Michael’s wife, Sarah, who also collected art, held salons, and became important linchpins in Paris’ avant-garde circles in the early 1900s, after they expatriated from the family seat in Oakland. I hope this exhibit shines as much light on the Steins’ formative role in helping bringing modern art to the Bay as it does on the Matisses, Cezannes, Renoir, Picassos, and Bonnards they fervently acquired. May 21-Sept. 6. SFMOMA, 151 Third St., SF. (415) 357-4000, www.sfmoma.org.

Funk phenomenon

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One of the most influential, and underreported, trends of San Francisco nightlife in the past few years has been the feisty reinvigoration of the jazz scene. Yoshi’s Fillmore, which opened in 2007, finally seemed to settle into its giant digs in that historic district — and, despite fears to the contrary, didn’t crowd out the stellar, more established jazz joints around it like Rasselas and Sheba Lounge. It also helped expand the traditional jazz palate into famously funkier territory — this month at Yoshi’s boasts the Ohio Players, The Family Stone, War, George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic, and Public Enemy with a live band. (What, no full orchestra? Flava Flav needs some glockenspiel.)

Also recently, San Francisco sent its huge and hip Jazz Mafia collective around the country performing uptempo “hip-hop symphony” Brass, Bows, and Beats. Unfortunately the Mafia’s homebase, Coda, closed on the first of this year — along with another beloved club, Triple Crown — citing the economic climate, but the supper club valiantly kept true to its live jazz mission to the end and shimmied with packed aficionados. Club Verde’s spunky Tuesday Night Jump! (Tuesdays, 9 p.m., $12. 2424 Mariposa, SF. www.oldtimey.net/tuesdays) with live band Stompy Jones revived that classic SF rockabilly swing vibe. Meanwhile, over at Martuni’s piano bar (4 Valencia, SF. 415-241-0205) near the Castro, a new generation seemed to discover its inner Sondheim, tipsily belting a few out ’round the gleaming ebonies and ivories. Send in those damn clowns already, Jesus.

That jazzy hometown spirit of expanding definitions and embracing the musical past as a living thing, not just some retro curiosity frozen into easily marketed poses, has graced other scenes as well. Even as you’re funking hard on the floor to some old school disco cuts or electronic productions, it’s hard not to hear echoes of jazz’s open-minded complexity working somewhere in the background.

And one of the parties I’ve funked hardest at lately has been Loose Joints (Fridays, 10 p.m., $5. MakeOut Room, 3225 22nd St., SF. www.makeoutroom.com). Let me be clear: Loose Joints isn’t a jazz club — although on a recent visit, DJ Tom Thump expertly melted London all-horn ensemble Brassroots’ 2010 New Orleans-leaning version of Inner City’s 1988 Detroit techno classic “Good Life” into Bill Withers’ Hammond-driven soul stomper “Harlem” from 1971. (At that point along my night’s journey, I needed a new pair of hotpants.) It’s more of an improvisational, all-vinyl DJ jam session that uses classic funk as its departure point. Hitting a tuneful sweet spot neither too familiar nor too abstract, Loose Joints has one of the best brain-to-feet ratios in the city: music nerds will dance their tight glasses off, straight-up partiers will discover where all those groovy samples come from.

The core trio of DJs at the heart of Loose Joints is a wild combination, rotating rapidly behind the tables. Founder Tom Thump digs deep into the wide-ranging, rarity-seeking global funk scene that brings to mind great DJs like Greg Wilson and Gilles Peterson (especially Peterson’s Brownswood Recordings project). Damon Bell reps Oakland’s fantastic, proudly abstract Deepblak techno scene, with a soulful Afro-Cuban twist. (Don’t sleep on his “multiple mind-space” Kush Musik series on Deepblak Recordings, www.deepblakmusic.com.) And DJ Centipede, who helps put on the headiest club going right now, Change the Beat (Tuesdays, 9 p.m., free. SOM, 2925 16th St., SF. www.som-bar.com), brings a future bass and experimental low-end background to the proceedings. Somehow they average out into a completely accessible and danceable entity.

“We are a strange triumvirate,” Thump told me. “I planned that, it was by design. I’ve known Centipede for years, when he used come into [Haight Street record store] Groove Merchant. So talented and unique. And I saw Damon play at [now-closed Panhandle club] Poleng one night a few years ago and was blown away by his soulful tunes. We are just one of my serendipitous flights of fancy.”

“Loose Joints” itself is a sly wink toward the experimental-made-accessible, a name cribbed by Damon from left-field dance music hero Arthur Russell’s popular side project, which put out the 1980 hit “Is It All Over My Face.” It also refers to the loose style the trio applies to mixing their vinyl cuts. (They leave other, more elevating interpretations to the imagination.)

The party is put on well from a practical standpoint, although the MakeOut Room’s layout is a bit strangulating near the door and it could use another person or two behind the bar. Because the MakeOut hosts live acts earlier in the evening, you’ll encounter a thrilling grab-bag of leftover patrons. The crowd is comfortable and open, dancing itself into frenzy. (When I dropped by last month, there was a gaggle of super-hot boys and girls grappling each other woozily to the floor, which was just fine. But watch where you step.) The strip of 22nd Street between Shotwell and Valencia has really taken on a European plaza air of late, with several bars and cafes spilling over with exuberant sophisticates. We need to ban cars there. And there’s also a healthy dose of newbie tech types — including the one in front of me in line who couldn’t believe the door guy wouldn’t take Visa for the $5 cover.

“San Francisco is so fucking beautifully diverse, that’s why the party goes so hard,” Centipede told me. “All types of life dancing to the same bassline.” Thump said: “There are a lot of people into funky sounds right now — from 1960s girl groups and Latin disco to post-punk and newer Afro-electro. We’re here to give all those a push. A sexy push.”

LOOSE JOINTS TOP TUNES

Mim Sulieman (with Maurice Fulton), “Mingi”

Suzy Q, “Can’t Give You Love (Persnickety All Stars Edit)”

The Fatback Band, “Wicky Wacky”

Bohannon, “Me And The Gang”

Eat, pray, defend chick lit

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caitlin@sfbg.com

LIT I read Eat, Pray Love a while ago, and I’m nervous to tell you that I liked it. Ever since bottle blonde Julia Roberts assumed her best worried-kitten face for the book’s film version, no self-respecting lit snob would ever admit to having enjoyed Elizabeth Gilbert’s account of her year of finances-be-damned travel, healing from divorce, and fulminations on the belabored pursuit of love.

The release of her follow-up, Committed (Viking Adult), a socio-historical look at marriage couched in the story of Gilbert’s own unexpected union to her green card-challenged hubby Felipe — and the announcement of her Jan. 14 appearance at the Yoga Journal Conference — goaded me to examine just why people are down on Gilbert. After perusing the con side (a blog called Drink Curse Hate was enlightening) I found that the ire seems to hinge on two precepts: that she is self-centered, and that her writing is what we diminutively refer to as chick lit. Well three, if you count complaints about her flippant usage of Eastern spirituality for self-help. But I’m not sure I have much to answer back to on that front.

First, a self-centered writer? Well stomp my keyboard and call me Danielle Steele. Writers write because we think we have something interesting and important to say. There are plenty of writers who write about themselves, and only themselves, and whom people fall over themselves to love. Hey, David Sedaris. Eat, Pray, Love is indeed all about Gilbert, but that doesn’t make it uninteresting. Glamorous travel writer leaves unsatisfying marriage, mends heart with an empowering trek around the world, yoga, Italian food, and impressively hunky Brazilian men encountered along the way. Hate on, haters, you’d write about it if it happened to you.

Second, chick lit. Literature written for chicks, by chicks, about chicks — am I getting the definition right? This term can stop being a pejorative one yesterday, as far as I’m concerned. And really, any book that teaches women that it’s okay to long for more than children and complete kitchen sets (which EPL does in spades) should be applauded in these uncertain times.

The funny thing about Gilbert is that before Eat, Pray, Love, she had a thriving writing career. Her creative nonfiction books were about men, of all things: an account of the macho culture of a Maine fishing village (named Stern Men) and the tale of an awe-inspiring, if prickly master outdoors-man (this titled The Last Man in America). Gilbert was a regular contributor at Spin and GQ, for which she penned the article on her days bartending at one of Manhattan’s most testosterone-heavy dives, Coyote Ugly Saloon. There was a movie based on that one, by the way.

“I couldn’t believe that Disney wanted to buy this story, it was so raunchy,” Gilbert tells me over the phone from the converted New Jersey church where she and Felipe had set up shop just prior to the onset of Eat, Pray, Love fever. “I still don’t know how they did it — I was like no! I can still smell the vomit.”

No, she could never have anticipated the last book’s zeitgeist-level success. No, she doesn’t expect Committed to replicate those sales numbers. The Eat, Pray, Love mania was “like a big circus parade going on just outside my door nonstop. I spend my day washing dishes and doing laundry and then I look out the window and go, ‘Wow, there’s that circus out there — they have dancing bears!’ and then I go back to doing what I’m doing.”

As far as she’s concerned, the book was the pinnacle of her career — and that’s fine. “The definition of a phenomenon is that it only happens once and you don’t know why it happened.”

But my money’s on Committed to be a success in its own right. The premise: Gilbert’s just not that into marriage. But marry she must, to secure Brazilian hubs Felipe the right to live in the country they’ve made their home, so she embarks on finding out what the hell it is about societally recognized partnership that people down through history have found acceptable, even appealing. She comes up with divergent and fascinating tidbits: that early Christians eschewed marriage, a socially conservative writer’s thesis that marriage is in itself a subversive act.

I read the book in a day. Gilbert’s conversational flow carries you through her life’s intimate details, like the transcribed list of personal faults she complied for Felipe. (She includes her need for attention and overly enthusiastic cold shoulder, yet leaves out the inevitability that every iota of their relationship will at one point be discussed by book clubs around the country.) A tone as engaging as hers has rarely been applied to the question of what marriage means in this day and age, and it’s refreshing to see that matter given some thought — even if her research is by her own admission not exhaustive. Hey, I probably wouldn’t have read the book if it had been.

I wanted to give the book to my newly sprouted crop of married friends, see how my mom reacts to Gilbert’s conclusions on child rearing, copy a chapter on the importance of solo travel for my boyfriend to read.

But they’d probably make fun of me. Elizabeth Gilbert? Please, that’s chick lit.

YOGA JOURNAL CONFERENCE: AN EVENING WITH ELIZABETH GILBERT

Jan. 14, 7:30 p.m.,

$29–$39 conference attendees, $49–$59 regular admission

Hyatt Regency

5 Embarcadero Center, SF

(800) 561-7407

www.yjevents.com

 

Light fantastic

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arts@sfbg.com

VISUAL ART/MUSIC Suzy Poling greets me by the half-open front gate of Queen’s Nails Projects and hands me a Sapporo tallboy. It’s freezing outside, and not much warmer inside. And dark. But not for long: within moments, she’s turning on a projector at the top of a tall ladder, running tape through a bulky Pioneer tape deck on top of a giant Moog, and spinning transparent mobiles that are suspended from the spaces’ ceiling, all while explaining her thoughts on making art and the ideas behind her current show, “Zone Modules.” Analog sound growls like an electric beast. The big square room expands to an outer space with rough edges, as projector light refracted from glass and mirrors floats like electric stars across a gray-silver moon on one a wall.

“I think I’m into it,” Poling wonders out loud, looking at the wall fixture. “In this exhibition, there’s an overall idea of future decay.” She’s telling the truth, not spinning an artist’s statement, and yet there’s also a current of energy and motion coursing through the room. At a certain point I realize that things are moving all around me, including behind my shoulder, a corner-of-the-eye feeling that is disconcerting and exciting — in terms of immersion, it evokes Bruce McClure’s and Anthony McCall’s explorations of live cinema, or an inverted version of the effects created by Yayoi Kusama’s infinity rooms. “I think people want to get in touch with infinity rooms [right now],” Poling agrees, when I mention Kusama. “It makes sense to get in touch with the planet we’re on and everything around it.”

This is just the beginning of “Zone Modules,” and just a hint of the constantly intersecting sonic and visual energies at play in Poling’s broader art endeavors, a growing and morphing constellation that connects colorfully primordial photos of geysers to layered, artificial experiments in grayscale. We walk to the next room, a small black space with an old black-and-white television in one corner tuned to an eternal 1920s movie dreamscape. “Everyone really liked this room for some reason [at the opening],” Poling says with a shrug, as swirling fog gives way to a close-up of a cut jewel on the small screen. “It’s like hanging out in a black room with a boob tube — it’s a classic hypnosis.”

The relaxed humor and pleasure in this room, though “experiential,” as Poling put it, is not common in today’s art world. It puts me in mind of Cary Loren, a friend of Poling’s from Detroit (and a member of the influential noise band Destroy All Monsters), whose viewpoint possesses a similar enjoyment of pop culture mutation — one that’s not kitschy, but imaginative in a raw, imperfect, individual manner. Poling’s years growing up and exploring the abandoned spaces of Detroit and then Chicago are central to what she’s making today. “It’s so cold and there’s some strange individuals there,” she says affectionately, when I bring up the Midwest. “I drew a lot of my inspiration from the Congress Theatre, this old movie palace from the 1920s on Milwaukee Avenue. I used to live inside it. I started [ the musical project] Pod Blotz there, because I could bring an organ up onto the stage.”

For around a decade, Poling has lived in Oakland, perhaps the closest thing that California has to offer to those kinds of urban autonomous zones. As we move to another room in “Zone Modules” and she talks about a geometric costume she used to wear to early Pod Blotz shows — “I thought, ‘I love theater of Bauhaus, I love Dada, I love the Vienna actionists, and I’m going for this !” — I’m struck by the unashamed enthusiasm for different periods and styles of art, some outre or out of fashion, within her work. To say it’s refreshing in these jaded times would be an understatement. But this isn’t naïve art — it’s gradually formulating a personal vision informed by everything from optics and opthamology to Russian avant-garde posters. “I’m not going to deny these things — I like [Laszlo] Moholy-Nagy!,” Poling exclaims at one point.

“I could reinstall this installation a bazillion different ways and it would always be different,” Poling says, as a characterful projected object darts like a dragonfly around the corner of an adjacent room. Not all artists could make such a claim, and fewer still could say it and have the idea be exciting. Poling credits the endless potential for combinations present in “Zone Modules” to curator Julio Cesar Morales’s insights about what to leave out of the show, but I think it also has something to do with the her experiences collaborating with artists on an international scale, and her kinship with them. Along with her best friend Kamau Patton, she was part of Official Tourist, an artist group that included members from Bosnia and Japan. “I’ll relate to a friend in Belgium in Dolphins into the Future who makes psychedelic spacey new age music,” she says, when talking about the music of Pod Blotz. “But then I also really relate to Haters in Los Angeles. They make totally different kinds of music, but they have a deep respect for each other.”

In the back room of “Zone Modules,” Poling’s paintings — which layer paint over vinyl and and paper to create interruptions in form and shape — share space with geometric sculptural and light experiments. I stare into the triangular eye of a metallic sculpture in the center of the room and through a tetrahedral passageway, spy another trangle, this time painted. “I like having the ability to just go into making art with people,” Poling says. “That feeling that the creation station is out there.” 

SUZY POLING: ZONE MODULES

Fri.–Sat., 11 a.m.–6 p.m.

Closing performance with Death Sentence: Panda, Chen Santa Maria

Fri/7, 8–11p.m.

Queen’s Nails Projects

3191 Mission, SF

www.queensnailsprojects.com

2010 Offies!

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tredmond@sfbg.com

When a major conservative political movement starts using a name that typically refers to the act of scrotal fellatio, you know it’s morning again in America. In 2010, the teabaggers came home. They nominated candidates who think masturbation is selfish and wonder why monkeys aren’t still evolving into humans. They held rallies urging the government to “get out of my Medicare,” which happens to be a government program. Their leaders praised dictators and urged women who had been raped to look at the bright side of things.

And those were just the headlines.

It’s hard to imagine a year that could be worse than 2010 — but it was a great vintage for the Offies.

Presenting the Off Guard awards for the silliest, most insane, and absolute worst of the year that was.

AND SHE FIGURES IF WE ARREST EVERYONE WITH BROWN SKIN, WE CAN FINALLY GET THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR UNDER CONTROL

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer told reporters that illegal immigration resulted in beheadings in the desert.

BUT AS LONG AS YOU DON’T TOUCH YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK OF THE DEVIL, IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY

Christine O’Donnell, the Republican candidate for Senate in Delaware who decried masturbation as a “selfish act,” said she only dabbled in witchcraft and had just one date on a satanic altar.

EXCEPT THAT WE ALREADY ARE, AND WE ALREADY ARE

Jerry Brown said he opposed the state’s marijuana legalization measure because “we can’t compete with China if we’re all stoned.”

LOOK BUSY

A Pew Research Center poll showed that 41 percent of Americans think Jesus will return in the next 40 years.

HEY, IF WE’D JUST CREATED THE WORST ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTER OF THE DECADE, WE’D WANT A LITTLE BREAK, TOO

A few days after the worst oil spill in U.S. history, BP Chief Executive Tony Hayward complained that he wanted his life back.

BUT HE SWEARS HE’LL STOP AT BEHEADINGS

Insurance Commissioner Steve Poizner said if he were governor he’d give the National Guard live ammunition to shoot at immigrants on the border.

AFTER ALL, IF THEY’RE NOT IN AN AIRPLANE, THEY CAN’T DO ANY DAMAGE

GOP Senate candidate Carly Fiorina said that people on the federal no-fly list should have the right to own guns.

OOH, WHEN YOU TALK TOUGH LIKE THAT YOU ALMOST SOUND LIKE SOMEONE WHO COULD STAND UP TO THE REPUBLICANS. OR MAYBE NOT

President Obama asked whose ass he should kick at BP.

IT’S OKAY, THOUGH, AS LONG AS THEY WEREN’T ENGAGING IN ANY SELFISH ACTS

Staffers at the Securities and Exchange Commission got caught spending as much as eight hours a day downloading porn at the office.

AND SOMETIMES GOP CANDIDATES ARE NITWITS

Nevada GOP Senate candidate Sharron Angle praised Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet for his efforts to privatize that country’s retirement system, saying “sometimes dictators have good ideas.”

YEAH, COME ON, WHY CAN’T YOU LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THINGS?

Sharron Angle said that women who have become pregnant as the result of rape or incest should “turn lemons into lemonade.”

DAMN GUMMINT TRYING TO INTERFERE WITH PRIVATE BIDNESS

GOP Congressman Joe Barton of Texas apologized to BP for a White House “shakedown.”

YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT I DO OWN THE WHOLE GODDAM SCHOOL

Meg Whitman’s son threw softball equipment over a fence to kick a group of computer science and physics students off the Princeton rugby field.

NICE, SINCE THOSE GROUPS ALL GOT ALONG SO WELL

GOP Senate candidate Chuck DeVore compared Palestinian activists to Nazis, Fascists, and Communists.

AND OF COURSE, THAT WORKS SO WELL WITH MODERN MANAGED CARE

Nevada banned chicken costumes from the polls after Nevada Senate candidate Sue Lowden said that people should barter with doctors for health care the way “our grandparents would bring a chicken to the doctor.”

ANOTHER GREAT MOMENT IN THEOLOGY FROM THE MAN WHO BROUGHT YOU THE PEDOPHILE PRIEST COVER UP

Pope Benedict said it was okay for male prostitutes to wear condoms.

SO HE’S GOT THAT GOING FOR HIM. WHICH IS NICE

Formerly classified State Department cables revealed that the premier of Korea is still an excellent drinker.

ACTUALLY, THEY TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE TEA PARTY AND DECIDED THEY WERE BETTER OFF AS THEY ARE

Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell said that evolution was a myth; after all, she wondered, “why aren’t monkeys still evolving into humans?”

THE CHURCH HAS ALWAYS BEEN KNOWN FOR ITS SENSE OF PERSPECTIVE

The Vatican announced that the ordination of women and the abuse of children were both “grave crimes.”

THAT’S OKAY, IT WILL LOOK GOOD ON HIS RESUME

Gavin Newsom decided to run for lieutenant governor after saying he didn’t know what the job was.

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK, CIA EDITION

The United States held high-level negotiations with a supposedly senior Taliban operative who turned out to be a Pakistani shopkeeper.

BUT WAIT — HOW WILL WE KNOW IF WE’RE SUPPOSED TO WORRY OR NOT?

The Department of Homeland Security abandoned color-coded safety alerts.

THE INTELLIGENCE AND CULTURAL TASTE OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE IS SIMPLY STAGGERING

Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol, made it to the final round of Dancing with the Stars.

WHICH MAKES HIM ENTIRELY QUALIFIED TO SERVE AS A REPUBLICAN POLITICIAN

Dan Quayle’s son ran for Congress in Arizona and admitted that he had been posting on “dirty Scottsdale” under the name of Brock Landers, a sidekick to porn star Dirk Diggler.

IS HE ONE OF THE NAZI FASCIST COMMUNISTS, TOO?

Rand Paul said Obama’s criticism of BP was “un-American.”

WAIT — WAS THAT A BROWN ALERT?

The California Highway Patrol shut down its South Lake Tahoe office after officers found an anal vibrator and thought it was a bomb.

HONESTY IS JUST PART OF THE PROCESS OF RECOVERY

Tiger Woods admitted that he sucked.

EXCEPT THAT IT MOSTLY BENEFITS THE INSURANCE INDUSTRY

Vice President Joe Biden called the health reform bill “a big fucking deal.”

IT’S THOSE CUTE WOODEN SHOES, YOU SEE

NATO Commander John Sheehan said Dutch soldiers were too gay.

DAMN, AND HE’S SUCH AN ATTRACTIVE MAN. I’M SURE THE TSA FOLKS WERE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT

John Tyner told Transportation Security Administration officials in San Diego that if “you touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested.”

AND HE WASN’T EVEN TALKING ABOUT HER

Sarah Palin demanded that Rahm Emanuel apologize for using the term “fucking retarded.”

 

SINCE WE ALL KNOW THOSE PEOPLE DON’T KNOW HOW TO SPEAK IN PUBLIC

MSNBC Host Chris Matthews was so excited by an Obama speech that he said he “forgot he was black.”

THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT

Pacific Gas & Electric Co. spent $50 million on a ballot initiative to stop public power, and lost after getting soundly defeated in every county where the utility has customers.

YOU MAY BE PART OF THE FAMILY, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO MY POLITICAL CAREER, HONEY, YOU’RE OUT THE DOOR

Meg Whitman fired her housekeeper when she found out she was in the country illegally.

BUT THEY’RE ALIKE ANYWAY, RIGHT?

Sharron Angle defended a campaign ad depicting menacing-looking Hispanic men by telling members of the Hispanic Student Union at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas that many of the members looked Asian.

OF COURSE, SHE SKIPPED THE FIRST FEW AMENDMENTS — BOOORING!

Christine O’Donnell said she couldn’t find anything about the separation of church and state in the Constitution.

BECAUSE IN A FIREFIGHT, THE FIRST THING ANYONE WOULD BE THINKING ABOUT IS HIS SERGEANT’S CUTE ASS

Sen. John McCain said he opposed ending “don’t ask, don’t tell,” talked about all the soldiers and Marines who lost limbs, and said that “when your life is on the line, you don’t want anything distracting.”

SINCE WE ALL KNOW THAT HEALTH INSURANCE MAKES YOUR PEE SMELL FUNNY

Federal judge Henry Hudson asked Obama administration officials whether the new health care plan was similar to forcing all Americans to eat asparagus.

SO IT’S JUST AS WELL THOSE PEOPLE ON THE NO-FLY LIST HAVE THE RIGHT TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS

Sharron Angle said that the Obama administration’s policies might require “Second Amendment solutions.”

IT’S PERFECTLY FINE FOR HOMOSEXUALS TO ATTEND MARRIAGE CEREMONIES, AS LONG AS THEY’RE JUST THE HIRED HELP

Sir Elton John played at Rush Limbaugh’s wedding.

SURE, GREAT FUN. JUST LIKE SHOOTING YOUR FRIENDS WITH A HUNTING RIFLE

Dick Cheney said he had been a “big supporter of water boarding.”

DAMN, SUPERVISOR, THE OFFIES WILL MISS YOU

Chris Daly vowed to say “fuck” at every single board meeting in 2010.

Editor’s Notes

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tredmond@sfbg.com

Social inequality is morally wrong, politically dumb, and economically unsustainable. It also makes you fat.

Seriously.

There’s a book by two British epidemiologists that argues the physical and mental health case for economic equality — and it’s full of great stuff. It’s a year old, but I read a nice analysis of it in Nicholas Kristof’s column in the Jan. 2 New York Times. Kristof notes that Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett, both British epidemiologists, cited vast and growing evidence that societies with greater equality are in general more healthy. And by that they mean not only that those societies have less crime and violence; the people who live with greater equality actually have less heart disease, mental illness, and obesity.

The book is called The Spirit Level: Why Greater Equality Makes Societies Stronger. A lot of it’s kind of touchy-feeley, but in the end, they come to a scientific conclusion: “The relationships between inequality and poor health and social problems are too strong to be attributable to chance.”

The two scientists also take on one of the great taboos of modern economics. They argue that growth isn’t necessarily good, that the standard goal of every official government policy in every major nation in the world — capitalist, socialist, or communist — over at least the past half-century, has been based on a flawed assumption.

There aren’t even that many progressives in this country who want to challenge the idea that the economy needs to grow to solve problems like unemployment and poverty. Sim Van Der Ryn, the visionary planner and architect, once told me that it makes no sense to have “a perpetually adolescent economy.” But in most polite company, that’s heresy.

But our new governor, who once employed Van Der Ryn as the director of the Office of Appropriate Technology, has a few heretical cells in his Jesuit-trained brain. And while I don’t expect him to turn the state’s growth frenzy on its head, he ought to be willing to think about this:

The solution to California’s problems may lie more with redistributing the pie than with making it larger.

I’m not arguing that we should abandon growth, particularly at a time of high unemployment. But keep in mind: corporate profits are already up, both here and nationwide — but the big companies are hoarding their cash and not hiring. Banks are making money again — but they’re not lending it out. We’re in a different sort of recovery here, one that may, for the moment, be structurally jobless. During the deep recession, businesses figured out how to survive with fewer employees, and they’re not about to start expanding the payroll.

And of course, the public sector has done nothing but shrink, and there’s little talk of anything but more shrinking.

So maybe the only way we’re going to get out of this is to inject more money into the economy, not by borrowing but by sending some of the idle wealth at the top back down to the level where it might become production. It might make us all a lot healthier. Because it turns out that you don’t have to eat the rich; just tax them.

Progressive supervisors block mayoral appointments

15

UPDATED: Progressives on the Board of Supervisors have finally started to push back on Mayor Gavin Newsom for his petulant refusal to vacate Room 200 unless his conditions for choosing a successor mayor are met, with the Rules Committee today blocking nine [UPDATE: seven] of 10 of the mayor’s committee and commission appointments.

Led by Sups. David Campos and Eric Mar, the three-member committee has been voting to continue consideration of the appointees to a future date at the discretion of Chairman Campos, even those who they voice support for. But they are trying to force a more equitable approach to governing the city during this transition period. The meeting is ongoing at this writing and can be viewed live here.

The one exception so far has been San Francisco Public Utilities Commission appointee Vince Courtney, with Mar and Campos voicing the urgency of filling the appointment on a body that is now moving forward Clean Power SF and other important initiatives. But they have blocked the appointment of Andrew Wolfram, Richard Johns, and Karl Kasz to the Historic Preservation Commission, Harry Kim and Herb Cohn to the Relocation Appeals Board, Florence Kong to the City Hall Preservation Advisory Board, Leona Bridges to the Municipal Transportation Agency Board of Directors, and Michael Kim and Leslie Katz to the Port Commission.

Former Sup. Amos Brown lashed out at the move, telling the committee, “I’m appalled to witness what’s happening here.”

But progressives have been equally appalled at Newsom for delaying today’s scheduled swearing in as lieutenant governor, reportedly to Jan. 10 after the new board is sworn in, and for demanding that the supervisors guarantee him that they will only support one of his preferred moderate caretakers for the interim mayor position. Newsom’s office did not return a Guardian call for comment on today’s meeting.

UPDATE 1:25 PM: After hearing more than an hour’s worth of testimony in support of Bridges, the committee unanimously voted to recommend her nomination to the MTA, citing that agency’s urgent need for a nominee from the African-American community who has a strong financial management background. The full board will consider her nomination tomorrow.

UPDATE 2:20 PM: Shortly before adjourning, the committee also unanimously recommended Katz be appointed to the Port Commission, saying that agency urgently needs another good appointee, although Mar indicated he didn’t think Kim was right for the position and that nomination was continued.

Music Listings

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PHOTO BY KATHRIN MILLER

Music listings are compiled by Cheryl Eddy. Since club life is unpredictable, it’s a good idea to call ahead to confirm bookings and hours. Prices are listed when provided to us. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

WEDNESDAY 29

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Adam Hodani Rite Spot, 2099 Folsom, SF; www.ritespotcafe.net. 9pm, free.

Harvey Mandel Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $18.

Persephone’s Bees, Marc and the Casuals, Virgil Shaw with Peacock Gap and the Wagoneers Hemlock Tavern. 8:30pm, sliding scale or bring canned food for the SF Food Bank.

Professor Gall, Thrillouette, Slow Poisoner Grant and Green. 9pm, free.

Tubes Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8pm, $26.

Victims Family, Schlong, Crosstops Elbo Room. 9:30pm, $10.

*X, Ray Manzarek Slim’s. 8pm, $31.

Yellow Dress, Alright Class, Wolf Larsen Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $8.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Gaucho, Michael Abraham Amnesia. 7pm.

Kim Nalley Rrazz Room. 8pm, $35.

Michael Parsons Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.

Sam Reider Coda. 7pm, $7.

Tom Shaw Trio Martuni’s, Four Valencia, SF; www.dragatmartunis.com. 7pm. With guest Jennifer Ekman.

DANCE CLUBS

Booty Call Q-Bar, 456 Castro, SF; www.bootycallwednesdays.com. 9pm. Juanita Moore hosts this dance party, featuring DJ Robot Hustle.

Cannonball Beauty Bar. 10pm, free. Rock, indie, and nu-disco with DJ White Mike.

Future Night Knockout. 9pm, $6. Chillwave, dubstep, electro bangers, and more with DJs Danny Glover, Mike Stasis, J. Kick, and the Pope.

Hands Down! Bar on Church. 9pm, free. With DJs Claksaarb, Mykill, and guests spinning indie, electro, house, and bangers.

Jam Fresh Wednesdays Vessel, 85 Campton, SF; (415) 433-8585. 9:30pm, free. With DJs Slick D, Chris Clouse, Rich Era, Don Lynch, and more spinning top40, mashups, hip hop, and remixes.

Mary-Go-Round Lookout, 3600 16th St, SF; (415) 431-0306. 10pm, $5. A weekly drag show with hosts Cookie Dough, Pollo Del Mar, and Suppositori Spelling.

Red Wine Social Triple Crown. 5:30-9:30pm, free. DJ TophOne and guests spin outernational funk and get drunk.

Respect Wednesdays End Up. 10pm, $5. Rotating DJs Daddy Rolo, Young Fyah, Irie Dole, I-Vier, Sake One, Serg, and more spinning reggae, dancehall, roots, lovers rock, and mash ups.

Synchronize Il Pirata, 2007 16th St, SF; (415) 626-2626. 10pm, free. Psychedelic dance music with DJs Helios, Gatto Matto, Psy Lotus, Intergalactoid, and guests.

THURSDAY 30

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

La Corde, Face the Rail, Cat Party Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $6.

Dizzy Balloon, AB and the Sea Rickshaw Stop. 8pm, $14.

*Economen, Hormones, Myles Cooper Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $8.

Rick Estrin and the Nightcats Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $20.

Further Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, 99 Grove, SF; www.ticketmaster.com. 7:30pm, $45.

Home Alones Knockout. 9:30pm. Live music plus a screening of Home Alone (1990).

Kacey Johansing, Rad Cloud, Sparrowsgate Amnesia. 9pm, $7.

Little Hurricane, Midnight Sun, Scott Gagner Red Devil Lounge. 8pm, $6.

Opt Out, Death First, Homeowners, Neighborhood Brats, Cutter Sub-Mission, 2183 Mission, SF; www.sf-submission.com. 9pm, $6.

Slip, Nathan Moore Café Du Nord. 9pm, $30.

Troublemakers Union Velma’s Jazz and Blues Club, 2246 Jerrold, SF; (415) 824-4606. 7pm.

Zongo Junction, Turkuaz Slim’s. 9pm, $13.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Stephen Lugerner Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.

Kim Nalley Rrazz Room. 8pm, $35.

Dianne Reeves Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8pm, $45.

DANCE CLUBS

Afrolicious Elbo Room. 9:30pm, $10. DJs Pleasuremaker and Señor Oz with guests See-I spin Afrobeat, tropicália, electro, samba, and funk.

Caribbean Connection Little Baobab, 3388 19th St, SF; (415) 643-3558. 10pm, $3. DJ Stevie B and guests spin reggae, soca, zouk, reggaetón, and more.

Drop the Pressure Underground SF. 6-10pm, free. Electro, house, and datafunk highlight this weekly happy hour.

Good Foot Som., 2925 16th St, SF; (415) 558-8521. 10pm, free. With DJs spinning R&B, Hip hop, classics, and soul.

Guilty Pleasures Gestalt, 3159 16th St, SF; (415) 560-0137. 9:30pm, free. DJ TophZilla, Rob Metal, DJ Stef, and Disco-D spin punk, metal, electro-funk, and 80s.

Erica Jayne Crib, 715 Harrison, SF; wwwthecribsf.com. 9pm.

Jivin’ Dirty Disco Butter, 354 11th St., SF; (415) 863-5964. 8pm, free. With DJs spinning disco, funk, and classics.

Koko Puffs Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 885-4788. 10pm, free. Dubby roots reggae and Jamaican funk from rotating DJs.

Mestiza Bollywood Café, 3376 19th St, SF; (415) 970-0362. 10pm, free. Showcasing progressive Latin and global beats with DJ Juan Data.

Nightvision Harlot, 46 Minna, SF; (415) 777-1077. 9:30pm, $10. DJs Danny Daze, Franky Boissy, and more spinning house, electro, hip hop, funk, and more.

Peaches Skylark, 10pm, free. With an all female DJ line up featuring Deeandroid, Lady Fingaz, That Girl, and Umami spinning hip hop.

FRIDAY 31

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Dresden Dolls, Pomplamoose Warfield. 9pm, $38-50.

Further Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, 99 Grove, SF; www.ticketmaster.com. 7:30pm, $65.

John Lee Hooker, Jr. Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $60.

George Lacson Project, DJ Malcolm Marshall Union Room (upstairs from Biscuits and Blues). 9pm, $15.

Growlers, Gantez Warrior Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $15.

Chris Isaak Fillmore. 9pm, $85.50.

Mo’Fessionals, Limbomaniacs, Adam Lesher Band Slim’s. 9pm, $45.

Nerf Herder, Hooks, Sassy!!! Bottom of the Hill. 10pm, $25.

Rebirth Brass Band, New Orleans Klezmer Allstars Independent. 9pm, $85.

Slackers, Boss 501 Great American Music Hall. 9pm, $35.

Sonny and the Sunsets, Fresh and Onlys Amnesia. 9pm, $20.

Surprise Me Mr. Davis, Big Light Café Du Nord. 9:30pm, $50.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Kim Nalley Rrazz Room. 7 and 10:30pm, $60-135.

Rayband, 8 Legged Monster Coda. 6 and 9pm, $25.

Dianne Reeves Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $50-100.

*Lavay Smith and Her Red Hot Skillet Lickers, Casino Royale, Mr. Lucky and the Cocktail Party featuring Ralph Carney Bimbo’s 365 Club. 8pm, $60.

White Cloud, Andrew Benson, LAG Ensemble Lab, 2948 16th St, SF; www.thelab.org. 9pm, $15.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

“Hillbilly New Year’s Eve” Plough and Stars, 116 Clement, SF; (415) 751-1122. 9:30pm, $10. With the Earl Brothers.

Mucho Axe, Big Tings 50 Mason Social House, 50 Mason, SF; www.50masonsocialhouse.com. 9pm, $15.

“New Year’s Eve Carnaval” Peña Pachamama, 1630 Powell, SF; www.pachamamacenter.org. 7 and 8:30pm, $99-125. With Fogo Na Roupa, Fito Reinoso, and more.

DANCE CLUBS

Blow Up New Year’s Eve Kelly’s Mission Rock, 817 Terry Francois, SF; www.blowupsf.com. 10pm, $18. Electro party with DJs Jeffrey Paradise, Eli Glad, and more.

Cockblock NYE 2011 Rickshaw Stop. 9pm, $20. With Natalie Nuxx, DJ China G, and host the Gaysha.

Countdown San Francisco 2011 Impala, 501 Broadway, SF; www.impalasf.com. 8pm, $59. Two levels of music, including hip-hop, top 40, old school, and club hits.

11: SF’s Longest New Year’s Eve Celebration Factory, 525 Harrison, SF; (415) 339-8686. 8pm. Massive electronic music party with Mark Farina, Marques Wyatt, Dale Martin, Julius Papp, and more.

Icee Hot Elbo Room. 9pm, $15-25. Electro with Bok Bok, Ramadanman, Disco Shawn, Ghosts on Tape, and Rollie Fingers.

Lights, Champagne, Action! Bubble Lounge, 714 Montgomery, SF; www.bubblelounge.com. 10pm, $115. With the Corporate Scandals and lots of bubbly.

Mango New Year’s Eve Party El Rio. 7pm, $30-50. Hip-hop and salsa with DJs Marcella and Edaj.

Mega New Year’s Eve in the City Suite 181, 181 Eddy, SF; www.suite181.com. 8pm, $25. Multi-themed giant party with three different dance floors and DJs Escobar, Ski, Mauricio, and more.

New Year’s Eve 2011 Club Six. 8pm, $10. Hip-hop, reggae, dancehall, and more with Jah Warrior Shelter, Cooyah Ladeez, Mr. E., and others.

NYE @ Eve 2011 Eve Lounge, 575 Howard, SF; www.eveloungesf.com. 9pm, $40-50. Soulful house, Latin-Afro, soul, and more with Whooligan, DJ Mel, and DJ Inkfat.

1984 Mighty. 9pm, free. New Year’s Eve party with Dangerous Dan, Skip, and others spinning nonstop 80s music.

Palace on Wheels: Electric Vardo New Year’s Eve New Delhi Restaurant, 160 Ellis, SF; www.newdelhirestaurant.com. 9pm, $29-80. Dance, music, and cuisine following the Romani trail from Rajasthan to the world.

Sea of Dreams “GalaxSea” NYE Concourse Center, 635 Eighth SF; www.seaofdreamsnye.com. 9pm, $89-100. With Thievery Corporation, Balkan Beat Box, Modeselektor, Beats Antique, and more.

Streets of SF NYE 2011 Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna, SF; www.streetsofsfnye.com. 9pm, $200. Steve Aoki headlines, with Aaron Axelsen, Designer Deejays, and DJ Zaq.

Sunset + Honey New Year’s Eve Public Works, 161 Erie, SF; www.publicsf.com. 9:30pm, $20. With DJs Tim Sweeney and Kim Ann Foxman.

Teenage Dancecraze New Year’s Eve Party Knockout. 9pm. Twist, surf, and garage with DJs Russel Quann and dX the Funky Gran Paw.

Trannyshack New Year’s Eve DNA Lounge. 9pm, $20. With host Heklina.

21+ Indie and Hip-Hop Milk. 8pm, $20. With White Menace and Miles the DJ, plus a live performance by K. Flay.

Vivid NYE Wish, 1539 Folsom, SF; www.wishsf.com. 8pm. With DJs Seven and Sol, plus DJ Mancub.

SATURDAY 1

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Avon Ladies, Dry Rot, Elders, Ecoli Hemlock Tavern. 9:30pm, $7.

John Nemeth Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $20.

Pinback, JP Inc. Bottom of the Hill. 10pm, $20.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Dianne Reeves Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $45.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Africa Rising Coda. 10pm, $10.

DANCE CLUBS

Breakfast in Bed NYE 2011 After Party Supperclub. 5-11am, $15. With DJs David Harness, Galen, Alain Octavio, and more.

Debaser Knockout. 9pm. Nineties alternative with DJ Jamie Jams and Emdee.

Dirty Talk Deco Lounge, 510 Turk, SF; (415) 346-2425. 10pm, $3-5.

HYP Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, SF; www.eightsf.com. 10pm, free. Gay and lesbian hip hop party, featuring DJs spinning the newest in the top 40s hip hop and hyphy.

New Wave City DNA Lounge. 9pm, $7-12. Eighties dance party.

Reggae Gold Club Six. 9pm, $15. With DJs Daddy Rolo, Polo Mo’qz, Tesfa, Serg, and Fuze spinning dancehall and reggae.

Rock City Butter, 354 11th St., SF; (415) 863-5964. 6pm, $5 after 10pm. With DJs spinning party rock.

Saturday Night Soul Party Elbo Room. 10pm, $10. Soul with DJs Lucky, Phengren Oswald, and Paul Paul.

Spirit Fingers Sessions 330 Ritch. 9pm, free. With DJ Morse Code and live guest performances.

SUNDAY 2

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Edgar Winter Band Yoshi’s San Francisco. 7pm, $38.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Kally Price Old Blues and Jazz Band, Emperor Norton’s Jazz Band Amnesia. 9pm, $5.

DANCE CLUBS

Dub Mission Elbo Room. 9pm, $6. Dub, roots, and classic dancehall with DJs Sep, Maneesh the Twister, and guest Lady Ra.

Gloss Sundays Trigger, 2344 Market, SF; (415) 551-CLUB. 7pm. With DJ Hawthorne spinning house, funk, soul, retro, and disco.

Honey Soundsystem Paradise Lounge. 8pm-2am. “Dance floor for dancers – sound system for lovers.” Got that?

Kick It Bar on Church. 9pm. Hip-hop with DJ Zax.

Religion Bar on Church. 3pm. With DJ Nikita.

MONDAY 3

DANCE CLUBS

Black Gold Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 885-4788. 10pm-2am, free. Senator Soul spins Detroit soul, Motown, New Orleans R&B, and more — all on 45!

Death Guild DNA Lounge. 9:30pm, $3-5. Gothic, industrial, and synthpop with Joe Radio, Decay, and Melting Girl.

Krazy Mondays Beauty Bar. 10pm, free. With DJs Ant-1, $ir-Tipp, Ruby Red I, Lo, and Gelo spinning hip hop.

M.O.M. Madrone Art Bar. 6pm, free. With DJ Gordo Cabeza and guests playing all Motown every Monday.

Manic Mondays Bar on Church. 9pm. Drink 80-cent cosmos with Djs Mark Andrus and Dangerous Dan.

Musik for Your Teeth Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St., SF; (415) 642-0474. 5pm, free. Soul cookin’ happy hour tunes with DJ Antonino Musco.

Network Mondays Azul Lounge, One Tillman Pl, SF; www.inhousetalent.com. 9pm, $5. Hip-hop, R&B, and spoken word open mic, plus featured performers.

Punk Rock Sideshow Hemlock Tavern. 10pm, free.

Skylarking Skylark. 10pm, free. With resident DJs I & I Vibration, Beatnok, and Mr. Lucky and weekly guest DJs.

TUESDAY 4

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Bitter End, Psychology of Genocide, Wolves and Thieves, Maker Thee Parkside. 8pm, $8.

Boneless Children Foundation, Il Gato, My Second Surprise Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $6.

Aaron Glass and friends, Sufis, Humboldt Squid Elbo Room. 9pm, $8.

Plan 9, Blasfemme Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $8.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Coda Jazz Jam Session Coda. 8pm, $5.

DANCE CLUBS

Eclectic Company Skylark, 9pm, free. DJs Tones and Jaybee spin old school hip hop, bass, dub, glitch, and electro.

Share the Love Trigger, 2344 Market, SF; (415) 551-CLUB. 5pm, free. With DJ Pam Hubbuck spinning house.

Womanizer Bar on Church. 9pm. With DJ Nuxx.

Our Weekly Picks: December 29, 2010-January 4, 2011

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WEDNESDAY 29

STAGE

John Oliver

Emmy-award winning writer and comedian John Oliver has lent a familiar Dickens-esque face to American TVs since he began his role as the senior British correspondent on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show in 2006. In addition to a large body of satirical news work overseas that you don’t care about, he is a regular on NBC’s Community and had a role in 2008’s The Love Guru, which was not his fault. To this day, and as a credit to his commitment to dry humor, he insists on telling every joke with a funny English accent. (Ryan Prendiville)

Wed/29-Thurs/30 and Sat/1, 8 p.m. (also Sat/1, 10:15 p.m.);

Fri/31, 7 and 9:45 p.m., $35.50–$60.50

Cobb’s Comedy Club

915 Columbus, SF

(415) 928-4320

www.cobbscomedyclub.com

 

THURSDAY 30

MUSIC

San Francisco Chamber Orchestra

Bottoms Up! is a series of free concerts around the Bay Area featuring 17-year-old internationally renowned cellist Nathan Chan. Chan made his debut at the age of three conducting the San Jose Chamber Orchestra. Although he has grown a bit since then, his prodigious musical ability remains intact. Chan joins bassist Michel Taddei and the rest of the San Francisco Chamber Orchestra in selections by Mozart, Jon Deak, and Tchaikovsky. Advanced reservations are strongly recommended. (Emmaly Wiederholt)

Through Jan. 3

Tonight, 5:30 p.m., free (check website for complete schedule)

Intercontinental Hotel

888 Howard, SF

www.sfchamberorchestra.org

 

MUSIC

Primus

What could be better than catching one of the two upcoming Primus shows to close out your 2010? How about seeing a run through of the classic 1991 album, Sailing the Seas of Cheese? The album, which first introduced a mainstream audience to Les Claypool’s bizarrely innovative bass playing and the band’s self-described brand of “psychedelic polka,” will be performed front-to-back. And just to add to the nostalgia, Jay Lane, one of the band’s original drummers, will be joining in for the first time since 1989. The novelty of the “band playing its classic album” craze might be wearing off a tad, but it’s tough to argue with this one. (Landon Moblad)

With the Residents

Thurs/30–Fri/31, 8 p.m., $42.50

Fox Theater

1807 Telegraph, Oakl.

(510) 302-2277

www.thefoxoakland.com

 

MUSIC

MarchFourth Marching Band

We here at the Guardian are collecting predictions for wonderful (only wonderful) things that will occur in 2011. Let me kick off the convo with an easy lay-up: the continued resurgence of vaudevillian entertainment. The thrift store baroque aesthetic of SF’s circus-burlesque-klezmer whorl has also been fermenting in darkly fantastic corners about the country — and happily, the hobohemians love to tour! MarchFourth Marching Band is one of the O.G.s of this scene, having burst onto (and off of) Portland, Ore., stages in their full be-stilted, brass band flag-twirling fury back in 2003. Let them blast you into your end of the year orbit with 360 degrees of their wily, high-stepping ways. (Caitlin Donohue)

With Bodice Rippers and DJ Shawna

9 p.m., $17

Independent

628 Divisadero, SF

(415) 771-1421

www.theindependentsf.com

 

FRIDAY 31

PERFORMANCE

BATS Imrov’s New Year’s Eve Special

Both a school and a professional company, BATS Improv is the most awarded, largest, and longest-running improvisational theater group in Northern California. Join BATS this New Year’s Eve to usher in 2011 with a hilarious comedy improv show followed by an after-party complete with tasty snacks and a beer-wine-champagne bar. One complimentary beverage comes with admission. The cast, which includes John Remak, Kasey Klemm, Kimberly MacLean, Rafe Chase, Regina Saisi, and Tim Orr, will perform a variety of scenes and songs inspired by (and possibly even including) members of the audience. What better way to begin 2011 than with laughter and good cheer? (Wiederholt)

Fri/31, 8 p.m., $40

Bayfront Theater

Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna, SF

(415) 474-6776

www.improv.org

 

EVENT

Vampire Tour of San Francisco

You’ll probably wake up with marks all over your neck anyway — you might as well have a good excuse for how they got there. Before 2011’s first fling vacuum-sucks your neck into the new year, head over to what is possibly the only event in SF that doesn’t increase ticket prices by 200 percent just because it’s the 31st: Mina Harker’s vampire tour. A self-proclaimed convert by none other than Count Dracula himself back in 1897, Harker now flits about Nob Hill sharing facts from our city’s long involvement with enterprising ghouls of her ilk. A fangtastic early evening plan, particularly if you like biters. (Donohue)

8–10 p.m., $15–$20

Departs from corner of California and Taylor, SF

(650) 279-1840

www.sfvampiretour.com

 

MUSIC

Chris Isaak

Contemporary crooner Chris Isaak really needs no introduction to Bay Area music fans — the longtime San Francisco resident has been performing his retro-rockabilly tinged tunes for more than 25 years now, scoring a multitude of hit singles along the way. It’s only fitting that he come back home to help ring in the New Year here with a gig that promises to be one hell of a party. There should be enough up tempo rockers like “Gone Ridin'” to keep the guys happy and plenty of hauntingly beautiful love ballads sure to make the ladies swoon — “Wicked Game” ought to do nicely as the soundtrack for that first tender New Year’s kiss. (Sean McCourt)

9 p.m., $99

Fillmore

1805 Geary, SF

(415) 346-6000

www.livenation.com

 

PERFORMANCE

“The Marga Gomez New Year’s Eve Spectacular”

Not for nothing is Marga Gomez known as “San Francisco’s queer queen of New Year’s Eve.” For the past seven years, she’s performed at Theatre Rhinoceros’ popular Dec. 31 extravaganza. But the whip-smart, no-holds-barred comedian and playwright has announced that this’ll be her final NYE gig; Gomez fans, temper this bittersweet revelation with the knowledge that she’ll be sure to go out with a mega-bang. The bill is rounded out by transsexual comedian Natasha Muse, Pirate Cat Radio Morning Show host Casey Ley, and Theatre Rhino’s own John Fisher as host with DJ OJ. Plus: balloon drop at midnight! (Cheryl Eddy)

7 and 9 p.m., $30–$35

Victoria Theatre

2961 16th St, SF

1-800-838-3006

www.therhino.org

 

FILM

The Phantom of the Opera

As any Hollywood history buff knows, both of Lon “Man of 1,000 Faces” Chaney’s parents were deaf. Having honed his pantomime skills since birth, Chaney’s success as a silent movie star should’ve surprised nobody (except that one sourpuss studio executive who, according to Wikipedia, told Chaney “You’ll never be worth more than $100 a week.”) One of the actor’s greatest triumphs, as the title role in 1925’s The Phantom of the Opera, is this year’s pick for Grace Cathedral’s annual New Year’s Eve silent movie. Go earlier if you have party plans, or for maximum spookiness, attend the later show, which lets out just before midnight. Musician Dorothy Papadakos accompanies both showings on the cathedral’s Aeolian-Skinner organ, itself almost as old as the Phantom film. (Eddy)

7 and 10 p.m., $10–$20

Grace Cathedral

1100 California, SF

(415) 392-4400

www.cityboxoffice.com

 

MUSIC

Slackers

New York City’s Slackers got unfairly lumped in with all of the punk-tinged, third-wave ska groups that blew up briefly in the mid-1990s. Look closer and you’ll see a band whose musical maturity (if not its lyrics) has always seemed a little classier and less concerned with current trends. And whether touching on rocksteady, soul, dub, reggae or old-fashioned rock and roll, Slackers shows always keep up-tempo, danceable rhythms and a party vibe throughout. Speaking of which — rumor has it the band throws a hell of a New Year’s Eve bash. (Moblad)

With Boss 501 and Lord Loves a Working Man

9 p.m., $35

Great American Music Hall

859 O’Farrell, SF

(415) 885-0750

www.gamh.com

 

SATURDAY 1

MUSIC

Breakfast of Champions

Saint Patrick’s Day, Halloween, New Year’s Eve: As my uncle Greg and pretty much any alcoholic will tell you, these are generally considered amateur hour when it comes to the drinking. This block party, the first thrown by the Space Cowboy DJ collective, provides an opportunity to celebrate New Year’s Eve, even if you skip out on the countdown, hoping to not have drunk bro vomit on your shoes as soon as the ball drops. Again. Or, it’s the opportunity to just roll straight through the night and keep dancing into next year. Conveniently, it starts when it’s legal to sell booze again. (Prendiville)

6 a.m., $25

Mighty

119 Utah, SF

(415) 762-0151

www.breakfast-of-champions.eventbrite.com

 

MUSIC

Pinback

Pinback is a great example of a band finding its own niche and mastering it. Since 1998, Rob Crow and Armistead Burwell Smith IV have made perfectly precise indie-rock albums, full of snaky bass lines and subtle time signature shifts. The songs can often sound so intricately crafted that they seem mechanical. But luckily, the pair are both gifted in the art of finding strong melodic hooks, counteracting the machine-like production with adequate amounts of human touch and catchy choruses. In a live setting, Pinback is expanded to a five-piece, with collaborators from its albums filling in the empty gaps. (Moblad)

With JP Inc.

10 p.m., $20

Bottom of the Hill

1233 17th Street, SF

(415) 621-4455

www.bottomofthehill.com

SUNDAY

JANUARY 2

 

Edgar Winter

One of two albino brothers. A child prodigy and multi-instrumentalist known to go from keys to saxophone to drums to synths and beyond in a single song. Among hits like “Free Ride,” had a No. 1 with face-melting, synthesizer-pioneering instrumental track “Frankenstein.” A Scientologist, he recorded Mission Earth, an album based on directions from L. Ron Hubbard. Still active into his 60s, Winter frequently tours with Ringo Starr, likely his favorite Beatle. If I had made up Edgar Winter, would you believe me? (Prendiville)

7 p.m., $38

Yoshi’s San Francisco

1330 Fillmore St., SF

(415) 655-5600

www.yoshis.com 

 

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Goal difference

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cheryl@sfbg.com

YEAR IN FILM Making a mistake on the playing field can haunt an athlete for the rest of his or her career. For Colombian soccer star Andrés Escobar, a particularly heartbreaking blunder — an own goal during the 1994 World Cup — proved fatal. Just two weeks after Colombia’s first-round defeat in the tournament they’d been favored to win, team captain Escobar was shot after leaving a nightclub in his hometown of Medellín. There were rumors the killer yelled “Goal!” as he unloaded.

Presented merely as a sports-history anecdote, Escobar’s demise is sad and senseless. But his murder wasn’t an isolated incident, just a particularly high-profile one; it was part of an unimaginable tide of violence that swept Colombia in the 1980s and ’90s. If you watched the 2010 World Cup on ESPN, you probably saw commercials for The Two Escobars, presented as part of the channel’s “30 for 30” documentary series. Participants included genre pioneer Albert Maysles, whose film was about Muhammed Ali; Ice Cube, who used his own South Central childhood to reflect on the Raiders’ 1982 move from Oakland to Los Angeles; and brothers Jeff and Michael Zimbalist, whose longer entry The Two Escobars sifted through years of Colombian history to trace the corresponding lives of Andrés “The Gentleman of Football” Escobar and drug kingpin Pablo Escobar.

At 32, Jeff, who lives in San Francisco, is the older brother by 17 months. In 2005, he codirected the award-winning Brazilian music doc Favela Rising. Michael, an actor and writer who ran a theater company in Mexico for several years, lives in New York City. Though they’re Americans, the Zimbalists feel a strong connection to Colombian culture. They were researching another film in the country (previous endeavors included a project with Colombian superstar Shakira) when ESPN asked them to pitch an idea for “30 for 30.” Though the shared last name of the unrelated Andrés and Pablo makes for a memorable title, the brothers didn’t use the coincidence as a starting point.

“We didn’t choose the title until really late, actually, because it felt like it was more of a portrait of a time period. It was about the hopes and dreams of the Colombian people as told through the vehicle of these two characters,” Jeff says. “The choice to use the two characters came about more organically than that, too. Initially we had the assignment to go find story ideas for the ESPN series that were about the impact of sports on society, and vice versa.”

After learning more about Andrés, they knew they’d found a captivating subject. They also realized that they would need to contextualize his story in order to tell it properly.

“We didn’t want to make a whodunnit about who pulled the trigger,” Jeff says. “It was a lot more interesting to ask the question of how an athlete gets killed for making a mistake. But in order to understand that, you need to understand what narco-soccer is. We quickly realized that hadn’t been covered before. And that meant that people were very reluctant to talk about it for a number of reasons: out of fear, shame, or they didn’t want to revisit a traumatic time period.”

The idea of “narco-soccer” led the filmmakers directly to their other subject. “You can’t really explain the whole context of narco without understanding Pablo Escobar. And it also felt unwieldy to not tie the societal story to a subject, or to a personal narrative,” Jeff explains. “So using Pablo as the tool through which we could explain society, and Andres as the tool through which we could understand sports, the next challenge was finding their overlaps. They only literally overlap a number of times in their lives. So how does the story justifies the use of these two characters? It has to be thematic — and there was tons of great, thematic overlap, and parallel and contrast, between the two Escobars.”

If you weren’t among the millions who watched The Two Escobars‘ repeat showings on ESPN (or caught it at the Sundance Kabuki as part of the San Francisco Film Society’s “SFFS Screen” programming), here’s a crash course in narco-soccer, as explained by the movie: during the ’80s and ’90s, Colombian drug lords invested in soccer teams as a way to launder their ill-gotten gains. As teams’ coffers grew, so did their ability to hire top-notch players. Sides flush with dirty cash racked up victories and corruption behind the scenes grew to outlandish proportions. Referees could easily be bought — or eliminated. A huge soccer fan who’d risen from poverty, then used his wealth to build fields in the slums, Pablo was one of these investors. Andrés, of course, was one of the league’s stars.

Using no narrator, The Two Escobars instead weaves its account with contemporary interviews (the exhaustive list of talking heads includes soccer legends, jailed gangsters, coaches, cops, and the sisters of both Escobars) and expertly edited archival footage that enables the viewer to witness just about everything discussed: the might of Colombia’s national team in the run-up to the 1994 World Cup; the sight of Pablo enjoying soccer on both his palatial estate and, incredibly, while incarcerated; the horrific violence that became an everyday occurrence during Pablo’s war on Colombia’s government.

Obtaining these hours of interviews and footage — only a fraction of which made it into the final cut — posed various challenges. “[Subjects] were reluctant to talk for many reasons: it’s taboo; it’s often felt to be dangerous still,” Jeff says. “So there is fear. And also, it is traumatic to go back and visit those emotions. A lot of people would rather bottle that up. I’m not one to judge because I didn’t live during the reign of Pablo Escobar and [anti-Escobar vigilante group] Los Pepes in Colombia. But I do believe that expressing that stuff and getting it out can be cathartic.”

Culling the archival footage used in The Two Escobars took months of plowing through broadcast vaults, the private archives of both Escobars, and films shot by military police and amateur videographers. “We knew it wasn’t gonna be as powerful a film, as accessible a film, if we just rooted it in present-day talking head interviews,” Jeff says. “We needed to transport the viewer back into that time period. A lot of our decision to tell both the narratives of Pablo and Andrés, and make it bigger than just the ESPN assignment, to make it a theatrical movie, was hanging on whether or not we were able to find enough compelling visuals to create real scenes. We had myself, my brother, and a team of people just going through tapes.”

Editing was a monumental task, proving both labor-intensive and emotionally trying. “It was very difficult to whittle down the story,” Michael says. “At one point, we had a film that was sort of focused on being the first exposé of this secret world of narco-soccer. We had hours of anecdotes that really blew our minds. We ended up reducing that whole part of the story to what you could call act one of the movie, and that was certainly difficult. You’re just sorry to see things go.”

Though The Two Escobars screened worldwide, not just on ESPN but at the Tribeca and Cannes film festivals, one place it hasn’t been seen is, ironically, Colombia. Due to the sensitive subject matter, and objections to the final product by Andrés Escobar’s family — who didn’t appreciate being associated with Pablo Escobar — “it’s been completely censored,” Jeff says, noting that he and his brother did not intend to mislead anyone during the filming.

“We always knew it was going to be extremely controversial,” Michael says. “I was nervous in terms of what the reactions from Colombians would be, because obviously it’s very delicate, very loaded subject matter. There’s so much visceral emotion for any Colombian who went through that period of time. Virtually everyone who lived there in the ’80s and ’90s was touched by that violence.”

Though the brothers are disappointed the film hasn’t been shown in Colombia, that doesn’t mean no Colombians have seen it.

“Everywhere we’ve shown the film and done a Q&A, there have been Colombians present,” Michael says. “That’s been a really rewarding experience.”

“For Colombians, it’s not an easy 100 minutes to sit through,” adds Jeff. “But by the end, [the Colombians we’ve met] do feel that it’s an accurate portrayal, that it’s balanced journalism, and that the message is an important one about Colombia moving forward. It presents a lot of hope through Andrés’ family. That was our goal, to create a portrayal of Andrés that was heroic. We made sure the voice of his family is the takeaway from the movie. I think it couldn’t be more clear once you see the film how opposite Pablo and Andrés are in terms of who they are and what they stand for. I hope that Colombians get a chance to see the film because they’ll realize that.” 

www.the2escobars.com

Babes in bondage

1

arts@sfbg.com

YEAR IN FILM ‘Tis the season to dismantle. For us film critic types, that means picking over the past year’s movie offerings with the ill-advised intensity of Natalie Portman working a hangnail in Black Swan. (That scene was so gross, yes?)

Speaking of sadomasochistic tendency (and La Portman), 2010 saw an intriguing mini-trend in psychological horror, most exemplified by a trio of films: Vincenzo Natali’s riotous sci-fi cheesefest Splice, Mark Romanek’s austerely devastating Never Let Me Go, and Darren Aronofsky’s aforementioned phenom Black Swan. Superficially, these movies couldn’t be more different. Splice is an homage to B exploitation and Cronenbergian body horror; Never Let Me Go is a pedigreed adaptation of a dead-serious study of emotional subtlety and Black Swan is a grandiose, visually exhilarating spectacle, not to mention one of the weirdest films ever to likely get an Oscar nod.

Dig a little deeper (perhaps with Winona Ryder’s Black Swan nail file?) and some surprisingly similar themes, motifs, and motivations become clear. This new breed of female-centered “body horror” challenges certain well-worn horror tropes, whether intentionally or not, along with the subject-object relationship of women in movies in general. And while female body horror is certainly nothing new (vaginas with teeth, anyone?) these movies do offer a refreshing new spin.

Genetic clones, genetic hybrids, and guano-crazy ballerinas, the female characters in these films exemplify the idea of the “other” superficially, but also collapse the traditional idea the “monstrous feminine.” Even if we aren’t meant to identify with them in totality, their terror is still our terror, not some janky Freudian nightmare of their otherness and our supposed repulsion to it. This kind of female subject-object horror revisionism has been seen before — Georges Franju’s 1960 French quasi-surrealist masterpiece Eyes Without a Face and the raucous little Canadian cult indie Ginger Snaps (2000) come to mind — but it hasn’t punctured mainstream Hollywood film in quite this way before.

All three movies work off the principle relationship of the matriarch and her offspring: Elsa (Sarah Polley) and Dren (Delphine Chaneac) in Splice; Nina (Natalie Portman) and her mother (Barbara Hershey, her plastic surgery–pummeled visage unintentionally representing the concept of “face horror”) in Black Swan; and Miss Emily (Charlotte Rampling) and later Madame (Nathalie Richard) and Kathy (Carey Mulligan) in Never Let Me Go.

Black Swan goes so far as to encourage a curiously gender-flipped Oedipal reading of Nina’s relationship with her (s)mother, who feverishly paints portraits of her daughter while Nina slaves away at ballet practice. Indeed, the movie’s true WTF moment comes when, at the behest of her tyrannical director Thomas (Vincent Cassel), Nina masturbates, almost violently so, until she realizes that her mother is watching her from the bedroom corner.

From her raw, toe-shoe ravaged feet to her undernourished frame to the intermittent appearances of blood oozing from imaginary sores, Nina experiences physical and psychological disturbances that lead to an eventual complete breakdown and physical metamorphosis in the classic body horror tradition. “I wanna be perfect,” she laments. That desire for perfection ultimately manifests itself in the masochistic self-infliction of physical pain to achieve transcendence. It’s a subject Aronofsky mined to great effect in his last film, 2008’s The Wrestler.

Psychological and physical metamorphoses are rampant in the movie, characterized by Nina’s overly precious pink butterfly wallpaper and Thomas’ uber-masculine Rorschach blotter–inspired living room. In a motif most reminiscent of David Cronenberg’s The Fly (1986), Nina begins to see nonhuman physical transformations in the form of scratches that elicit bristle-like feathers on her back, much in the same way The Fly‘s Seth Brundle grew coarse insect hairs as he slowly morphs into “Brundlefly.” Nina finally asserts her sexual independence by absorbing her “black swan” by way of sexually demonstrative doppelganger, Lily (Mila Kunis). In the process, she becomes something all-powerful and completely unknowable, achieving total perfection. She also ceases to be human.

Transcending the entrapment of biology plays a major role in Splice and Never Let Me Go as well. In Splice, Dren’s jacked-up DNA is a source of fear and revulsion to Elsa’s husband and coresearcher, Clive (Adrien Brody), and she is held captive while they study her in their pursuit of greater scientific truth. But her creator-mother can’t help but delight in her otherness, which mirrors her own in some perverse way. She even insists that Dren, who resembles something akin to a beautiful chicken-alien-minotaur, is “perfectly formed.” The moment Dren reveals her magnificent wings for the first time (wings she didn’t even know she possessed) recalls Nina’s crazed transformation in Black Swan. Both characters eventually embrace their outsider status, although it’s hard to say if it really works out for either of them. (Baby steps.)

Officially, Never Let Me Go isn’t really a horror film, but more of a Merchant Ivory–style sci-fi. In addition to being an exercise in stylistic restraint and melancholy, Romanek’s film is an affecting, straight-faced mediation on life and loss. But its core conceit can easily be read as a story of body horror as well. Kathy, the pretty, waifish clone-girl at the center of the narrative, grows up at a genteel English boarding school called Hailsham, a place she finds as warm and nurturing as the womb. But it’s also a place from which there is no escape. By virtue of her very birth, Kathy is bound by a grisly obligation, metaphorically and literally: eventually her body will be dismantled bit by bit, her organs redistributed, so that in her death (or “completion,” as its dubbed in a kind of gentle Newspeak) “real” people may live. But her body’s eventual betrayal is not Kathy’s ultimate source of horror. Her true other-ness isn’t represented by physicality, but by spirituality: like all her fellow clones, she must question the very idea that she is human, what it means to be human, and whether or not she even possesses that supposed essential blueprint, a soul. The audience shares Kathy’s existential horror at that most inner fear. Eventually, though, it’s virtually impossible to not acknowledge what makes Kathy, like Nina and even Dren, so potently human. Their humanity, of course, is in their very imperfection. Nobody’s perfect, except for maybe that little spitfire Natalie Portman. At this point, I think it’s safe to say she’s at least better than the rest of us.