Event

‘Too Much’ — and more

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arts@sfbg.com

THEATER/DANCE/PERFORMANCE Too much of a good thing can be a good thing. That became clear to artist/curators Julie Phelps and Keith Hennessy last year with the unexpected success of “Too Much!,” a no-holds-barred marathon of contemporary queer performance originally conceived as a cheeky 20th anniversary celebration of Hennessy’s lauded yet uncompromising career as performer, choreographer, and activist.

The idea of a “queer 20th anniversary” only got the conversation started, says Hennessy, whose company Zero Performance produced last year’s event. “I’m in a really different space than I was 20 years ago. I’m now 50. I made [my breakthrough] piece when I was in my late 20s. Who are those people now? And where is queer performance at? That sort of launched our thinking about putting on a festival, and [the idea] that the thing in itself should be excessive or ‘too much.’ So we crammed everything into 10 hours.”

This spirit of polymorphous plenitude launched a one-off “queer marathon” so momentous it turns into a second annual this Sunday, over the course of another 10 hours. Between 2 p.m. and midnight, three rooms at Dance Mission Theater are given over to the work of more than 50 artists — a mix of performance, installation, video, public discussion, workshops (in street art and queer games), and dinner. It promises to complicate all the usual expectations around identity-based art and politics. The only thing not overflowing is the price: 10 bucks.

This year’s “Too Much!” is more than a reprise, though. Co-curator Phelps — a young artist who recently cofounded queer performance incubator TheOffCenter, which comes on board as coproducer — explains that she and Hennessy have broadened the program. “Last year we only had performance, live installations, or full-length shows,” she says. “This year we were interested in adding this symposium element to it. While we’re all together, we might as well talk to each other, you know? So we’ve added a few workshops. Irina Contreras, for instance, is doing a stenciling workshop aimed at reminding people of the fully accessible tools they can use to express themselves as political beings, people of action.”

The symposia quotient includes a discussion of the controversial use of blackface as a subversive performance tool, a subject both Hennessy and Phelps see as particularly contentious in local identity-based art and academic discourse.

Among some notable returns from last year are Jesse Hewit, Laura Arrington, and Mica Sigourney, who as drag persona VyvvyAnne ForeverMore returns with another installment of her “Work MORE” series. Phelps describes the series, now in its third iteration, as “decentralizing drag out of nightlife bar culture and putting it into a contemporary art scene where it can be questioned and be challenged.” In this edition, Sigourney pairs drag queens with contemporary performance artists and challenges them to come up with a collaborative piece.

Of course, San Francisco has more than the average share of venues and platforms for queer art, so why is “Too Much!” not (despite the suggestion in the name) overkill?

“The Bay Area, obviously, is one of the gayest places on earth,” acknowledges Hennessy. “There are a number of different contexts for LGBT performers to work in. We looked at those and we tried to think of what doesn’t happen there? What if we did something, in a sense, more DIY? We don’t give a fuck what happens — we’re not going to pay anyone anyway. We’re just going to do this one day, organize it all ourselves, and if you want something different you can go somewhere else.”

Hennessy says they got a small grant this year that allows artists a modest remuneration. But the lack of institutional support or control, not to mention profit motive, combines neatly with a desire to include work that slips through the usual categories. “If we’re not beholden to anything, how much could we queer even the idea of an event?” he asks. “I think we’ve pulled [“Too Much!”] even further in the direction of messing with a simple theatrical structure. That means introducing people doing time-based work, or work that doesn’t fit into theatrical contexts for a variety of reasons.”

TOO MUCH!

Sun./23, 2 p.m.–midnight; $10

Dance Mission Theater

3316 24th St., SF

(800) 838-3006

www.brownpapertickets.com

A fiction writer that beats FOX News for war coverage

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Kudos to the New Yorker for bringing Daniel Alarcón to the attention of the eastern rag’s audience. The Oakland writer is one of the three West coast scribes from the New Yorker’s 20 Under 40 “young” writers anthology who will be reading at City Lights Books on Weds/19. I suggest you go check up on the event – if not for the magazine’s time-proven track record of tagging future lit stars, then because the more people in this country who read Alarcón, the less likely we are to plunge our country into madness.

Alarcón’s are war stories, but not in the sense that we grow up with in America, where the term brings to mind bombs and sharp, whizzing death. Alarcon draws on his cultural memory of home country Peru (where he left for Birmingham, Alabama when he was three years old) to speak of the more prosaic nature of conflict through the eyes of people to whom it is brought, not those that strap on uniforms and board helicopters to go to it. 

Take the novel he’s best known for, Lost City Radio (Harper Collins, 288 pages, $24.95). It takes place – in the grand tradition of Latin American epics — in a mythic town, or at least an unnamed city. A war has raged for years, resulting in the disappearance of radio star Norma’s husband, Rey. An orphaned boy from the city shows up and with him an end to her endless, ragged wonderings about what happened to Rey. Every one of the book’s characters is struggling to deal with the real nature of war: a messy business, sure — but not one where the women, children, and elderly are left at home, as they are in many of our country’s depictions of conflict.

There are few gunshots fired in Lost City Radio. Instead, the scene of war is rendered in social notes – illicit dance parties held after curfew, names you can and can’t say on the radio, acceptance of loss, confusion. The story that Alarcón contributes to 20 Under 40 is Second Lives, which tells the story of a Peruvian family who sends their eldest son away from inflation and civil war to America, where he promptly immerses himself in the American life, which is to say he starts water-skiing, job-hopping, and stops writing home to his mom, dad, and brother.

What would our wars — including the one we are waging on immigration — be like if the general populace of our country saw it this way, instead of through the clip art pyrotechnics of TV news channels? 

Plus, Alarcón is the only author I’ve ever heard to name-check a seminal tome from my childhood, The Phantom Tollbooth as being an influential one in his life. Plus, he lives in Oakland. The night’s other readers, Chris Adrian and Yiyun Li, both hail from the Bay too. The last time the New Yorker pulled this same anthology stunt in 1999 they pegged Junót Diaz, Jonathan Franzen, and Jhumpa Lahiri before their ascent into best-sellerdom, so it’ll be perfect if you’re the before-the-curve type about the national fiction scene.

 

20 Under 40: Stories from the New Yorker

Weds/19 7 p.m., free

City Lights Books

261 Columbus, SF

(415) 362-4921

www.citylights.com

 

Our Weekly Picks: January 12-18

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WEDNESDAY 12

DANCE

“The A.W.A.R.D. Show!”

It had to happen: life imitating television. If you’ve ever wanted to put your body on the line and participate in judging a reality TV dance show, this is your opportunity. “The A.W.A.R.D. Show!” is a six-city endeavor in which 12 local choreographers (four per night) get evaluated by you and presenters from each participating entity. You get to vote for one artist each night. Each evening’s winner proceeds to Saturday’s final, where one will walk away with $10,000 check — chicken feed in television land, but a nice chunk for choreographers trying to find the cash for their next work. First on will be Manuelito Biag, Liss Fain, Katie Faulkner, and Catherine Galasso. (Rita Felciano)

Wed/12–Sat/15, 8 p.m., $20

ODC Theater

3153 17th St., SF

(415) 863-9834

www.odctheater.org


THEATER

Clue

Who killed Mr. Boddy? Was it Mrs. Peacock in the conservatory with the revolver? Or was it Professor Plum in the billiard room with the candlestick? Find out in Boxcar Theatre’s Clue, written and directed by Peter Matthews and Nick A. Olivero. First a popular board game, then a cult classic movie, this new version (adapted from the 1985 film) features a life-size board game with the audience watching six feet above. Secret passageways, murderous hilarity, and multiple possible endings make this whodunnit a must-see. Hot tip: get your tickets now — presale popularity has been so high that Boxcar has already added some performances to its run. (Emmaly Wiederholt)

Through Feb. 19

Wed.–Fri. 8 p.m.; Sat, 7 and 10 p.m., $15-$25

Boxcar Playhouse

505 Natoma, SF

(415) 776-1747

www.boxcartheatre.org

 

THURSDAY 13

FILM

“For Your Consideration: A Selection of Oscar Submissions from Around the World”

So you’ve been a good little film geek and seen all of 2010’s likely Oscar contenders: The King’s Speech, The Social Network, Toy Story 3, etc. etc. But what about those films submitted for Best Foreign Language Film consideration that get extremely limited stateside releases (if they even make here at all)? Though the films in the Smith Rafael’s “For Your Consideration” series probably aren’t destined to rake in massive box office dollars (see: 2000’s Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), they still represent what each country felt was worthy of worldwide notice. “For Your Consideration” presents a handful of hand-picked selections, including Spain’s Even the Rain, starring Gael García Bernal as a filmmaker intent on making a film about Christopher Columbus; Crab Trap, about Colombia’s isolated Pacific coast community; and Poland’s All That I Love, the story of four friends who form a punk band amid early-1980s Communist unrest. (Cheryl Eddy)

Jan. 13–20, $6.75–$10.25

Christopher B. Smith Rafael Film Center

1118 Fourth St, San Rafael

(415) 454-1222

www.cafilm.org


PERFORMANCE

Women on the Way Festival

For the next three weeks, expect sassy women to please, surprise, and shake you during the 11th Women on the Way Festival. The format pairs newcomers (for example, Norwegian Muslim comedian Shabana Rehman), with established artists (like San Francisco poet Genny Lim). If you are into multimedia and dance theater, the Shotwell Studios are your place to go. If dance — more or less pure — is your bag, the Garage is opening its red door. W.O.W.’s Producer Mary Alice Fry, who has made a career of spotting new talent, says she was delighted to see that so many women are working with live and often original music. The festival’s website, www.ftloose.org, offers succinct, detailed information on the individual artists and the work they’ll present. (Felciano)

Through Jan. 30, $15–$20

Shotwell Studios

3252-A 19th St., SF

Garage

975 Howard, SF

1-800-838-3006

www.brownpapertickets.com/producer/5930

 

EVENT

Bay Area Puma Project

If you’re not sick of cougar jokes by now, I feel sorry for you. After all, most of the appeal is in giving up dominance, and really honey, you were never the top predator in the first place. Real cougars — as in mountain lions — are the last large animals in California with a substantial population, aside from us; their habitat covers about half our huge state. Join wildcat conservationist Zara McDonald, founder of the Felidae Conservation Fund, to hear about the first major, decade-long study of pumas in the Bay Area, efforts to protect them, and tips on coexisting with these elusive cats. Don’t you know 2011 is the year of the silver fox, anyway? (Kat Renz)

7:30–9:00 p.m., free

Randall Museum

199 Museum Way, SF

(415) 225-3830

www.sfns.org

 

COMEDY

SF Sketchfest

In 2002, I excitedly wrote about a brand-new event right here in these very pages: the first annual San Francisco Sketch Comedy Festival, a monthlong comedy smorgasbord featuring six local acts. Organizers, I wrote, foresaw “a Fringe Festival-style expansion that will bring comedy to the masses for years to come.” Well, that totally happened. Sketchfest, now in its 10th year, is the West Coast’s premiere comedy festival (in your face, L.A.), and it annually features superstars galore. This year’s sure-to-sell-out events include a 25th anniversary tribute to It’s Garry Shandling’s Show, tributes to Murphy Brown and Airplane! (1980), plus appearances by boldface names like James L. Brooks, Cloris Leachman, Dan Aykroyd, and David Byrne. And yeah, there are still some locals in the mix: SF native Greg Proops pops up in improv show Whose Live Anyway?, plus there’ll be a reunion show featuring the original six sketch groups (including Kasper Hauser and the Meehan Brothers) who got this party started in the first place. (Eddy)

Through Feb. 5, $15–$60

Various venues, SF

www.sfsketchfest.com

 

FRIDAY 14

EVENT

“Salute to Supernatural

In the television graveyard of contemporary TV dramas centered around vampires, werewolves, or horror-related themes, one of the more mainstream ones that doesn’t deserve a stake firmly implanted in its creators is the CW show Supernatural. Following the adventures of Sam and Dean Winchester, a pair of demon-hunting brothers, the program has become a hit with viewers over the past five years. At this weekend’s special Supernatural convention, Bay Area fans can meet the two lead actors, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki, along with several costars, in addition to listening to talks, going to themed parties, perusing vendors, and much more. (Sean McCourt)

Fri/14, 1–6 p.m.; Sat/15, 11:30 a.m.–7 p.m.;

Sun/16, 10 a.m.–5:30 p.m., $20–$50

Westin St. Francis

335 Powell, SF

(818) 409-0960

www.creationent.com.

 

COMEDY

Norm MacDonald

Coming to fame as a cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1993-98, comedian Norm MacDonald made his name as the biting host of that show’s “Weekend Update” segment, along with his hilarious impersonations of celebrities including Burt Reynolds, Bob Dole, and Larry King. Though his departure from SNL was marred by controversy, MacDonald has continued to have a successful career in show business, punctuated by a variety of movie and television roles along with several writing gigs. Be prepared for laugh-induced side aches — the funnyman comes to the Fillmore for two special live shows tonight, taping a TV special for Comedy Central. (McCourt)

7:30 and 10 p.m., $35.25

Fillmore

1805 Geary, SF

(415) 346-6000

www.thefillmore.com

 

SATURDAY 15

FILM

A Brighter Summer Day

Tender and wise, Edward Yang’s A Brighter Summer Day (1991) is simply one of the finest historical dramatizations ever put to celluloid, ambitiously proportioned (four hours long, a cast of hundreds) but fine-grained in the telling. Yang traces Taiwan’s tumultuous midcentury history in the erring lives of teenagers. Between the deft staging of intergenerational conflict, Proustian attention to objects, and existential portraits of alienation, there’s enough material here for several filmmaking careers. Long inaccessible in the U.S., the film has been restored by Martin Scorsese’s laudably internationalist World Cinema Foundation. The Pacific Film Archive screens a selection of the organization’s recent projects throughout the month. (Max Goldberg)

6:30 p.m., $9.50

Pacific Film Archive

2575 Bancroft, Berk.

(510) 642-1412

www.bampfa.berkeley.edu

 

PERFORMANCE

Corpo/Ilicito: The Post Human Society

“It’s going to be a very wild performance,” performance artist Guillermo Gomez-Peña told Time Out Chicago about his troupe Pocha Nostra’s piece Corpo/Illicito. They’ll be performing at the closing reception of SOMArts’ group exhibit, “It’s All a Blur,” a reflection on empowerment and enfranchisement via the American dream. La Pocha Nostra is famed for using its performers’ bodies as canvases for its art, so get ready for some made-up, bound, embellished, and politically ostentatious artists gone wild. As for the exhibit’s more static installations, Dale Hoyt’s videos and drawings will be on view, as will Tony Labat’s Blanket Policy, a tent made of Goodwill paintings, and Labat’s 12-foot tall barbeque. To art and freshly grilled meat products! (Caitlin Donohue)

SOMArts Cultural Center

934 Brannan, SF

(415) 552-1770

www.somarts.org

 

MONDAY 17

EVENT

“Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday Celebration”

Hooray for MLK! Maybe this year we can eschew the sappy television specials and get a little work done on that old dream of his? That’s what’s going down at the Yerba Buena Gardens, where a daylong celebration dubbed “Sustaining the Dream: Through Community and Service” offers free admission to the Museum of the African Diaspora and the Contemporary Jewish Museum. The event also features a kid’s reading fest and a plethora of local health care providers doling out diabetes tests, children’s dental screenings, and a passel of other helpful services. Once they’ve got you feeling good, stick around for “King in Five Vignettes” at 12:15 p.m., music and performance dedicated to the man with the plan. (Donohue)

9 a.m.–5 p.m., free

Yerba Buena Gardens

Mission between Fourth and Third streets., SF

www.norcalmlk.org

 

TUESDAY 18

VISUAL ART

“Twist and Crawl”

The Bay Area is a major center for artists with disabilities, thanks to sites such as Oakland’s Creative Growth, San Francisco’s Creativity Explored, and the NIAD Center for Art and Disabilities in Richmond. Starting from an awareness that some major names in contemporary art work with disabilities, the new exhibition “Twist and Crawl” brings together work by 14 artists to bridge gaps and blur boundaries between traditionally-acknowledged painters, photographers, and sculptors and their disabled counterparts. “Twist and Crawl,” which takes its name from a frenetic song by the English Beat, is the first installment in a thematically arranged three-part series organized by artist and curator Timothy Buckwalter. Continuing through August, it syncs up with an upcoming traveling Berkeley Art Museum exhibition devoted to Creative Growth, Creativity Explored, and NIAD. (Johnny Ray Huston)

Through March 16

National Institute of Art and Disabilities (NIAD) Gallery

551 23rd St., Richmond

www.niadart.org


The Guardian listings deadline is two weeks prior to our Wednesday publication date. To submit an item for consideration, please include the title of the event, a brief description of the event, date and time, venue name, street address (listing cross streets only isn’t sufficient), city, telephone number readers can call for more information, telephone number for media, and admission costs. Send information to Listings, the Guardian Building, 135 Mississippi St., SF, CA 94107; fax to (415) 487-2506; or e-mail (paste press release into e-mail body — no text attachments, please) to listings@sfbg.com. Digital photos may be submitted in jpeg format; the image must be at least 240 dpi and four inches by six inches in size. We regret we cannot accept listings over the phone.

Hot sexy events: January 12-18

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Historically speaking, it’s good to be a geek. Think about it – has any era in history more readily rewarded those whose aptitudes shine in the areas of minutiae and social awkwardness? Thanks to the Internet, every geek has an audience – and thanks to the Internet there’s the Internet, a land where technological know-how gets you feature film bio-flicks and material fortune beyond your wildest science fiction fantasies. Basically, geeks get laid these days. Definitely prime time for Bawdy Storytelling to hold an evening of live show-and-tell entitled “Sex Wonk,” (Weds/12) wherein those who are super gungho about the old in-and-out can revel in their geekiness – and that Star Trek hand sign takes on new levels of perversion.

 

“A Penis Show”

Jack Davis crochets penis. Neither more nor less – the artist has whipped up hundreds, if not thousands of the little fellers since his first show upon graduating college. Thanks to his work, you can surround yourself with colorful, crochet cock and balls at Magnet, the free sexual health center in the Castro – take one home to make your apartment walls stand a little more erect. It’ll look great with your ’70s porn pillows!

Through Jan. 31 

Magnet 

4122 18th St., SF

(415) 581-1600

www.magnetsf.org


Bawdy Storytelling: Sex Wonk

The featured guests at this month’s sharing-is-caring story series include Sarah Dopp, eminent webmaster for the transgendered community, engineers, sex educators, and the good people from SF Sex Information, who will be on hand to answer all your pleasantly nerdy queries on boning in between the witty, touching, and downright blush-inducing stories from all the speakers. 

Weds/12 8 p.m., $10

The Blue Macaw

2565 Mission, SF

www.bawdystorytelling.com


Invasion: A Queer Takeover of the Citadel

The Citadel sheds all signs of straightness for a night: hosts Asher and Char preside over an evening of gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, fag, dyke, leatherman, leatherwoman, butch, femme, transgender, transsexual, and genderqueer-styled BDSM debauchery. Added bonus: for all you cheap queers, members are invited to volunteer for an hour at the event and get in gratis.  

Fri/14 8 p.m.-1 a.m., $25 members only

SF Citadel 

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-2746

www.sfcitadel.org


SF Spanking Society Munch

Do you ever attend BDSM munches and feel, well, a little soft core? Is all you really want a good spank (or ass to spank)? This is the get-together for you then, cause all that’ll be on the table are the possibility of red cheeks and the probability of kinky conversation. 

Sat/15 noon-2 p.m., free

The Thirsty Bear 

661 Howard, SF

www.soj.org/calendar


Heavy Petting Zoo

Surely this month’s Kinky Salon dress-up swinger’s ball has a theme that most SF weirdos can get down on: the furry, feathery, bescaled kingdom of animalia. Everyone has some kitty cat ears or frog-hued face paint lying around the house, don’t they? And even if you don’t, you can still get your bootie on: swipe your buddy’s denim overalls and viola! You, sir, are a farm hand. Now get to milking that cow.

Sat/15 10 p.m.-late, $30-35 members only

Mission Control 

2519 Mission, SF

www.missioncontrolsf.org


Bedroom Body Moves

Y’know all those classes that are the rage with your racy Aunt Carol in Modesto, the pole dance for exercise courses? Those things are all over the place. But what the hell, why strip for the caloric exodus? Seems silly when you could instead take it all off to get your partner off, amiright? Leaving aside all questions of “staying in shape,” then, we present to you this course, which focuses on the simple act of clothes removal and its seductive powers (especially when you’re sitting on someone’s lap). 

Tues/18 6-8 p.m., $20-25

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0500

www.goodvibes.com

 

Revolution 101

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caitlin@sfbg.com

CAREERS AND ED Of course, you could just stop paying for school all together. Instead of putting their hopes for the future of education behind state reinvestment in university systems, a group of SF radical intellectuals are seeking to revamp the definition of learning by introducing the Free University of San Francisco. The nascent institution holds its first teach-in Feb. 5-6.

“Education is revolution,” says the incubator of the Free University, writer and poet Alan Kaufman. This ain’t Kaufman’s first rodeo. In 2004, while an instructor at SF’s Academy of Art University, he organized a student walk-out to protest the school’s violations of free speech rights. Employed through a temporary contract with the academy, Kaufman was not hired back the next term.

For him, it was a wake-up call that the current university system was teaching for the wrong reasons, not the least of which was the hefty price tag for classes that left his pupils in poverty. One student, he said in a recent phone interview with SFBG, had been “starving before my eyes, surviving on Ramen Noodle Cups” — all she could afford on top of tuition fees. He gave her $60 for food. But it wasn’t enough. Something had to be done.

When asked what he thinks the point of education is, Kaufman barely hesitates. “Liberation, freedom.” The current trends of privatization in public colleges, coupled with soaring school fees that far outpace students’ budgets, is symptomatic of a system that, as he prettily puts it, “funnels hearts and minds into narrowing corridors of survival. Creating profits for the university — that is the end game.”

He’s not the only person who thinks so. Kaufman and other Free University supporters have organized a teach-in next month that will feature college-level lectures from leading Bay Area artists and intellectuals, including Beat poet and SF poet laureate Diane Did Prima, former president of the Board of Supervisors Matt Gonzalez, and Pirate Cat Radio’s Diamond Dave Whitaker. The courses are no-credit, but the event is a symbol that the current educational system isn’t fulfilling some basic student needs. Instructors will teach on subjects that range from 19th-century poetry to natural geography.

Eventually Kaufman he envisions an “actual mobile university” capable of bringing the possibility of a college education to places where such a thing might be considered unattainable. And it wouldn’t just be beneficial to students. Guest faculty could experience “a kind of cleansing,” a temporary return to their original ideal of academia.

Of course, there are a few — ahem — challenges involved in starting a school that has no tuition, teacher salaries, or even monetary donors (Kaufman says the Free University will accept gifts in the form of books or other resources, but no cash). University supporters have decided to eschew accreditation for now, and true to Kaufman’s nomadic vision of the school, no location for classes has been set. First the teach-in, Kaufman says, and based on feedback, the consensus-based, hierarchy-free project will take it from there. The idea of the Free University, it would seem, is the thing for now.

It’s been done before. In the wake of the French Revolution, France established its Grandes Écoles system, a 250-school system that remains for the large part, tuition-free. The East Bay Free Skool is one outlet in the Bay that offers skill training, gratis. So for all the pie-in-the-sky idealism involved, perhaps the true test of the Free University of San Francisco won’t be its creation at all — crazy things have happened, haven’t they? Instead, it may be the extent that humanist students can steel a harsh economic climate that tends to reward monetarily-driven educations.

So why would a student chuck their pursuit of an accredited degree to participate in an uncertain radicalization of education? “Would it have practical application in a corporatized universe? Good question!” Kaufman chuckles. He launches into a torrid Marxist prediction: that our patently unfair education system cannot stand. “The system must be changed. When the pain is bad enough, people start to change.” *

FREE UNIVERSITY TEACH-IN

Feb. 5–6, 9 a.m.–5 p.m., free

Viracocha

998 Valencia, SF

(415) 374-7048

fusf.wordpress.com

Bend over the rainbow

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marke@sfbg.com

SEX/TV “We get to shoot all over San Francisco,” Jack Shamama of NakedSword.com tells me over the phone, a wicked lilt tiptoeing into his voice. “How great is that?”

Double entendres! He’s referring to Golden Gate, the spunky episodic porn Web series he wrote with Michael Stabile, which just wrapped up its first season and will begin a second season in February. The weekly series runs on the Naked Sword site, with a new episode debuting every week to a substantial viewership that values glossy production and polished presentation.

Although there’s no grand soap opera-like family tree of intersecting characters and storylines, each episode does feature quite a bit of plot, at least by wank-flick standards, and solid back stories for the various players. (Sample: “Robert is an unemployed writer who spends his days at cafes. He’s got a real interest in humanity, and is garrulous and friendly. He’s almost always dressed casually. Robert lives in the grittier Castro-adjacent neighborhood of the Lower Haight.” Robert gets crammed full of a two-foot-long cone-shaped black dildo. But I digress.)

GOLDEN GATE TRAILER (er, NSFW)

Pornisodic series have been done before — the sprawling Wet Palms comes to mind — but this is the first that really focuses on San Francisco. Shamama and Stabile being our perennial enfants terribles of porn, there’s some fun with San Francisco archetypes in each episode as well, bringing together, say, a high-powered downtown investor with a struggling Mission District artist who pimps himself out online for rent money. And while there are a few problems with verisimilitude (that struggling artist has waxed eyebrows and an all-over tan), there are plenty of spot-on in-jokes. In one episode, a couple of almost-hipster rockers get approached by a groupie for sex — but first they hand him a flyer for their band’s show at Bottom of the Hill.

After we dished a bit about the scheduling woes of porn stars in the Internet Age and the purported whereabouts of 1990s bear porn pioneer Steve “Titpig” Hurley, I asked Shamama a few questions about Golden Gate.

SFBG What pricked you into Golden Gate action?

Jack Shamama In the past, Naked Sword has teamed up with partners to produce hardcore content, behind-the-scenes specials, porn event coverage, and our regular talk show, “The Tim and Roma Show.” But for our first completely in-house production, we knew we had to come up with something big that wouldn’t run out of steam, since we wanted it to be a weekly series. The concept that kept coming up was the city itself.

Gay porn was pretty much invented in San Francisco and even today maybe as much as 75 percent of it is still filmed here, but you really wouldn’t know it since most of it’s filmed on sets. Those movies that do spotlight San Francisco generally end up giving people a dumbed-down CliffsNotes “gay Disneyland” version of SF, with an opening shot of the Golden Gate Bridge and credits rolling over a shot of the giant rainbow flag in the Castro.

We figured we owed San Francisco a bit more than that. Our tagline is “Enter the land of impulse and desire.” The city ends up being sort of like the main character. For each episode, we bring together two opposing types of San Francisco men to show the different sides of the city.

SFBG Everyone talks about how major porn studios are being killed by amateur websites. But you guys are going in the opposite direction, with glossy production values, old-fashioned plot-oriented scenes, big name stars, and timed release dates …  

JS Golden Gate is definitely an anomaly in the porn marketplace — but I think that at this point, its uniqueness is a plus. There’s still a huge audience out there that wants this type of meticulously produced, quality product, and I don’t think they should be ignored just because there are other types of porn being made.

Many people automatically equate “amateur” with “plotless” — but really it’s the same plot over and over again. “Straight guy sucks his first dick” could describe seven-eighths of amateur porn. That can be hot but yeah, we get it. We want to explore other kinds of fantasy. And, along with our executive producer Tim Valenti, we want to do it in a quality way. Even though our actors get down and dirty, we’re not ashamed of having a little class.

SFBG How difficult is it to produce a weekly porn series?  

JS It can get tough to write episodes at that pace and to keep everything straight — scouting locations, shooting stills, scheduling stars. One challenging aspect to production I didn’t anticipate was finding filming locations. Since each episode takes places in a different neighborhood, it’s taking us out of our comfort zone. There are lots of guys who live in the Castro who want to have a gay porn shot in their apartment, but some other neighborhoods can be tricky. We’ve lucked out and been able to shoot in some amazing apartments so far, though. I really didn’t expect it to become real estate porn, but I don’t think anyone’s complaining.

Another thing is making sure our script is malleable enough to adapt to the actors and direction. We shoot the sex part before the scripted part, so the actors won’t get too bored. And even though in our scripts Mike and I try to go beyond just clichéd “fuck me harders” during the sex parts, when it comes down to it, we want our actors to have hot sex, not worry about delivering their lines. And we want our director, Chris Ward, to be free to match his sexual vision to our scripted intentions. He’s one of the biggest names in porn — no one tells Chris Ward how to film a sex scene. He’s incredible.

SFBG Any hot scenarios you can share from the upcoming season?

JS A pair of Mormon missionaries don’t quite know what they’re getting into when they knock on the door of a certain fetishy Alamo Square leather daddy. That one ought to be fun.

Congratulations to Ed Lee

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Congratulations to Ed Lee, who, unless Gavin Newsom still refuses to leave or the next board does something terribly surprising, will be the city’s first Asian mayor. This, as Sup David Chiu pointed out, is an historic moment, a watershed event in San Francisco history. And we shouldn’t forget that.


Now Lee will face a massive challenge, starting with a terrifying city budget — and a need to reassure progressives that he can be trusted. It’s not Lee’s fault that Rose Pak and Willie Brown settled on him as their candidate — but starting from Day One, he is going to have to demonstrate independence.


I have no doubt that, true to his roots, he will be solid on sanctuary city and local hire — two major issues that the supervisors mentioned today. And on those issues, and on civil rights in general, he will be vastly better than Newsom. He won’t deport high school kids and break up families.


But I have to wonder if he’ll be true to progressive values on the city budget — because the willingness to accept that, as Chris Daly just said, something is very wrong in this country and this world, and it includes (perhaps starts with) the vast income and wealth disparities that are making our society unsustainable, and that it’s the responsibility of every official at the federal, state AND local level to try to address that problem … that’s what separates out the real progressives.


Good luck, Mayor Lee, we sincerely wish you the best, look forward to working with you and can’t wait to hear your ideas on new city revenues.

Our Weekly Picks: January 5-11, 2011

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THURSDAY 6

THEATER

Strange Travel Suggestions

Jeff Greenwald’s life is a trip, and he’s happy to take you along for the ride. The Oakland-based travel writer has made a name for himself slaking an unquenchable wanderlust in lively, enlightening books like Shopping for Buddhas and, most recently, Snake Lake, a memoir of one year (1990) that saw a poignant collision between Nepalese revolution and personal upheaval. But many who know the writer don’t know the performer. A natural storyteller, Greenwald returns this week to the Marsh with his improvised, low-key but engrossing Strange Travel Suggestions. Making use of an idiosyncratic “wheel of fortune,” the journey changes each night, relying like all good wanderings on the collective mood and dumb chance. (Robert Avila)

Through Jan. 22

Thurs.–Fri., 8 p.m.; Sat., 5 p.m., $20–$50

Marsh Berkeley Cabaret

2120 Allston, Berk.

1-800-838-3006

www.themarsh.org

 

MUSIC

Blaqk Audio

Alas, I lost the thread and completely missed the moment when emo reached its New Romantic period. Which is sad, because right around 2007, I really could have used a sharp-shirted, electro-emo stomper from Blaqk Audio called “Semiotic Love.” I think at that point in my mope-rock attention, I was too busy gawking at footage of the punks vs. emos riots breaking out across Mexico. (According to one punky hater, emos “are stupid, they cry about stupid things.”) Too bad those rowdy Mexican kids didn’t know about Blaqk Audio, a side project of Davey Havoc and Jade Puget of Ukiah stalwarts AFI, which fluffs a punk pedigree and emo self-longing into synthy, baroque, slightly dark power pop. Think Depeche Confessional or maybe My Chemical Numan — or just be pulled into Blaqk Audio’s chilly, wriggling embrace at weekly club Popscene. (Marke B.)

With DJs Aaron Axelson and Nako

9 p.m., $18

Rickshaw Stop

155 Fell, SF

www.popscene-sf.com

 

MUSIC

George Winston

Grammy-award winning pianist George Winston is known in the music world for a wide variety of his projects, ranging from his own outstanding original material to his reworkings of Vince Guaraldi’s beloved Peanuts compositions, as well as reinterpreting music from the Doors. During his 30 years and counting music career, Winston has long worked with various food banks and service organizations throughout the country when he tours — he donates 100 percent of his merchandise sales to the organizations he works with at each show. Tonight benefits the Berkeley Food Bank, so prepare for an evening of good music for a good cause. (Sean McCourt)

8 p.m., $39.50

Freight and Salvage Coffeehouse

2020 Addison, Berk.

(510) 644-2020

www.thefreight.org

 

FRIDAY 7

MUSIC

Velvet Teen

This month sees the release of the Velvet Teen’s first new material since 2006, an EP titled No Star. That’s a big gap in the band’s discography, particularly for a group that released three albums and a handful of EPs between 2000 and 2006. But tragedy takes priority in life, and while fans of the Santa Rosa indie rockers certainly have been eager for new sounds, there’s also a sense that things take time, particularly after the loss of original drummer Logan Whitehurst in 2006. Tonight’s show, the CD release, is a chance to see what the Velvet Teen has made of the intervening years. (Ryan Prendiville)

With Silian Rail and Low-five

10 p.m., $12

Bottom of the Hill

1233 17th St., SF

(415) 621-4455

www.bottomofthehill.com

 

SATURDAY 8

MUSIC

“Bowie and Elvis Birthday Bash”

Used to be, you’d have to choose which rock superstar to celebrate come Jan. 8. Would you meticulously apply glittery makeup and sway to “Life on Mars?” or slick your hair into a pompadour and pound a peanut-butter-and-banana concoction to the beat of “Suspicious Minds”? This year, head to the Edinburgh Castle’s “Bowie and Elvis Birthday Bash,” offering equal time to each rock titan on their shared birthday (Ziggy’s 64th, and what would’ve been the King’s 76th). Shindog and Skip spin tunes “from Hound Dog to Diamond Dog,” poet Alan Black pays tribute, and there’ll be a costume contest in the image of each legend. If you already own a sparkly jumpsuit, a two-in-one homage is certainly possible. (Cheryl Eddy)

9 p.m.–2 a.m., $5

Edinburgh Castle Pub

950 Geary, SF

www.castlenews.com

 

MUSIC

Optimo

There was no single club whose aesthetic ruled world dance floor sensibilities in 2010 (this may be a good thing). No Berghain, no Misshapes, no Hollertronix, no Body & Soul, no Fabric, no Space — and unfortunately no Optimo (Espacio), the wee Glasgow joint that helped birth one of the most thrilling recent trends in DJ styling, the “never know what you’re gonna get, but it’ll be amaaazing” thing. Optimo shut down in April, and the San Francisco scene mourned the loss of a sister spirit. Honey Soundsystem even mounted an elaborate wake on the same night Optimo closed. Fortunately, Optimo’s wildly diverse musical policy lives on. DJ JD Twitch founded the club with JG Wilkes — Twitch will hopefully beat through the snow to bring his club’s still-thriving vibe to 222 Hyde, along with unexpected sonic goodies from Midnight Star and Chicks on Speed to Gui Boratto and beyond. (Marke B.)

9:30 p.m., $5–$10

222 Hyde, SF

www.222hyde.com

 

FILM

“Hitchcock”

Rear Window   (1954), Vertigo   (1958), Psycho   (1960) — not only have you seen ’em multiple times, you can recite all the dialogue and catch yourself miming along with the shower scene. It’s likely even Alfred Hitchcock diehards haven’t gotten around to watching all of the prolific director’s 60-something works. But thanks to the Castro Theatre, you can skip a random TV viewing and catch some of Hitch’s lesser-known but no less compelling films on the big, glorious screen (as he’d no doubt rather prefer). Highlights include The Lady Vanishes (1938), Rope (1948), The Trouble With Harry (1955), and The Wrong Man (1956), though there’s not a bad double-feature during the six-day event. (Eddy)

Jan. 8–13, $7.50–$10

Castro Theatre

429 Castro, SF

(415) 621-6120

www.castrotheatre.com

 

EVENT

Oshogatsu Matsuri Festival

Traditions central to the Japanese New Year: the pounding of boiled sticky rice into mochi, Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, and well-meaning gaijin galuts asking everybody where the Chinese dragon is. Unversed in the dawn of the new year in the Land of the Rising Sun? This Japantown community center is holding a day to honor the Year of the Rabbit’s arrival, which Japan celebrates in tune with the Gregorian calendar along with the Western world. Bring the kiddos for art activities and make yourself comfortable for demonstrations of mochitsuki (the aforementioned rice preparation), kendo sword-fighting, and odori, the dance to welcome the dead. (Caitlin Donohue)

11 a.m.–3 p.m., free

Japanese Cultural and Community Center of Northern California

1840 Sutter, SF

(415) 567-5505

www.jcccnc.org

 

MUSIC

Los Lobos

Had he not died in a helicopter crash after leaving a 1991 Huey Lewis concert, legendary San Francisco rock promoter Bill Graham would have turned 80 today — local music fans can celebrate his birthday at tonight’s concert, featuring Los Lobos and Jackie Greene, all benefiting the Bill Graham Memorial Foundation. Run by a group that includes members of Graham’s family and other community leaders, the foundation strives to raise money for a variety of social and charitable causes. Raise your glass to Wolfgang (a childhood nickname for Graham, born Wolodia Grajonca) at this fitting tribute — remember, the reason Graham was at the concert that fateful night was to plan a benefit show to help victims of the 1991 Oakland firestorm. (McCourt)

9 p.m., $50

Fillmore

1805 Geary, SF

(415) 346-6000

www.thefillmore.com

 

MUSIC

Talib Kweli

What does it mean to be a “conscious” rapper? That label has been applied to Talib Kweli ever since he emerged on the musical scene in the mid-1990s, particularly for Black Star, a 1998 collaboration with fellow Brooklyn artist Mos Def and DJ Hi-Tek. Beyond charity work, it means being able to get past the divisive beefing that plagues hip-hop. That ability has kept Kweli busy with guest appearances between albums, on tracks with the Roots, Little Brother, UGK, Gucci Mane, and beyond. His new album, Gutter Rainbows, is out Jan. 25. (Prendiville)

With Be Brown, Skins and Needles, My-G and Rose, and Lowriderz

10 p.m., $25

Public Works

161 Erie, SF

www.publicsf.com

 

SUNDAY 9

MUSIC

Willie Nelson

“Outlaw” is a term that tends to be thrown around a little bit too liberally these days, particularly when it comes to discussing musicians. But one man who undoubtedly deserves that title is Willie Nelson, whose five-decades-and-counting career as a singer, songwriter, poet, author, and social activist has been forged entirely on his own terms. Known for his own recording hits, his partnerships with artists such as Johnny Cash, his slew of songwriting successes (notably the classic tune “Crazy” as made famous by Patsy Cline), and more recently his newsmaking, weed-related tour bus arrests, the 77-year-old icon continues to prove that he is a musical and social force to be reckoned with. (McCourt)

Through Jan 12

9 p.m., $55

Fillmore

1805 Geary, SF

(415) 346-6000

www.thefillmore.com

 

MONDAY 10

EVENT

BCS National Championship Game

The University of Oregon Duck is a champ. Omnivorous, excellent paddler, wearer of fetching sailor shirts — a gentleman and a scholar, truly. Except when he’s beating up the University of Houston’s Cougar (as seen in a popular YouTube clip), but that happened all the way back in 2007! This year, his football Ducks ended the regular season undefeated to face the Auburn Tigers in the national championships. Though we may not have the benefit of a fine Oregon drizzle to fully appreciate the Duck’s waddle, there is a lovely vantage point from which to watch the mayhem: the Independent, where the game will be played on its pull-down movie screen and microbrews will flow like the mighty Willamette. (Donohue)

5:30 p.m., free

Independent

628 Divisadero, SF

(415) 771-4421

www.theindependentsf.com


The Guardian listings deadline is two weeks prior to our Wednesday publication date. To submit an item for consideration, please include the title of the event, a brief description of the event, date and time, venue name, street address (listing cross streets only isn’t sufficient), city, telephone number readers can call for more information, telephone number for media, and admission costs. Send information to Listings, the Guardian Building, 135 Mississippi St., SF, CA 94107; fax to (415) 487-2506; or e-mail (paste press release into e-mail body — no text attachments, please) to listings@sfbg.com. Digital photos may be submitted in jpeg format; the image must be at least 240 dpi and four inches by six inches in size. We regret we cannot accept listings over the phone.

On the Cheap Listings

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On the Cheap listings are compiled by Caitlin Donohue. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

WEDNESDAY 5

Concierto de Reyes Mission Cultural Center for Latino Arts, 2868 Mission, SF; (415) 643-5001, www.missioncultural.org. 2pm, free. The Coro Hispano of San Francisco, a chorus comprised of Spanish-speaking community members, has been celebrating Latin America through song since 1975. Join ’em for their annual kids holiday concert, which will cover turf as varied as renaissance motets and aguinaldos (Christmas folk music) from Peru, Venezuela, Puerto Rico, and more.

Glen Canyon habitat restoration Glen Park Recreation Center, 70 Elk, SF; (415) 337-4705, www.sfrecpark.org. 9am-noon, free. Sure, you’ve made “that” resolution for the millionth time. But how about you snap out of that pudgy pity party and truck out to a little exercise that benefits more than just your waist line? SF parks are in need of TLC if they want to fend off invasive species and you can join in on the action at this morning of weeding, planting, and pruning. Dress to get muddy and active – and indulge in the free snacks provided free of your Christmas cookie guilt.

FRIDAY 7

Jaime Cortez: “Universal Remote” Southern Exposure, 3030 20th St., SF; (415) 863-2141, www.soex.org Through Feb. 19. Opening reception 7-9pm, free. It’s been months, but we still have a big in our hearts the size of a glittery glove. Thankfully, here comes visual artist Jaime Cortez’s solo exhibition, which calls out the tragic, tremendous pop culture whorl that was MJ – and highlights the King of Pop’s fluid moves through race, sexuality, and zombie-human relations.

Oakland Art Murmur Telegraph and 23rd St., Oakl.; www.oaklandartmurmur.com. 6-10 p.m., free. Rediscover what downtown Oakland’s got going on art-wise with this monthly show-and-tell by the neighborhood’s best and brightest art galleries. This week, catch Jennie Ottinger’s book art at Johansson Projects (excerpt from her truncated version of As I Lay Dying: “Holy shit, this family is cursed! Very National Lampoon’s Vacation.“)

SATURDAY 8

Parent-child snow globe class Randall Museum, 199 Museum Way, SF; (415) 554-9600, www.randallmuseum.org. 1-4pm, $6 for children; $10 for parent-child duos. The holidays are over, and yeah it’s still cold and rainy. But take heart! Winter can be time for good cheer even after Santa’s packed up the sleigh and gone north. Make a shakable wonder with your wee one and enjoy the rest of Randall Museum’s “Saturdays are Special” event (10am-4pm), which includes railroad exhibits, live animal feedings, and the rest of the science-y wonders present throughout the rest of this always-free museum.

Vintage Paper Expo Hall of Flowers, Golden Gate Park, Lincoln and Ninth Ave., SF; (328) 883-1702, www.vintagepaperfair.com. 10am-6pm, free. (Also Sun/9, 10am-4pm) Postcards, photos, brochures, stereoviews, and so much more! What’s a stereoview, you ask? Why, nothing less than an antique 3D image – something you can acquaint yourself with at this fair of all things printed and retro. The Vintage Paper Expo’s got over 100 vendors this year, all primed to sell you affordable scraps of history.

Writers With Drinks The Make Out Room, 3225 22nd St., SF; (415) 647-2888, www.writerswithdrinks.com. 7:30-9:30pm, $5-10 sliding scale. Writers? Drink? Well, I guess there’s a first time for everything! This long-standing lit night series pairs local scribes (this month’s are girl group Gogos founder Jane Wiedlin and socio-writer Ethan Watters) with a crowd that’s anything but stiff for readings, skits, and stand-up.

MONDAY 10

Cinema Drafthouse: Machete The Independent, 628 Divisadero, SF; (415) 771-1421, www.theindependentsf.com. 9pm, free. A deliberately silly revenge plot that’s both spot-on vintage homage and semi-serious commentary on America’s ongoing immigration debate gets the Indy’s free movie night treatment. Watch the film with a beer in hand (or two) – and feel free to shout advice to the characters on-screen. You’re in a music venue, for chrissakes.

TUESDAY 11

Pecha Kucha 330 Ritch, 330 Ritch, SF; www.pecha-kucha.org. 7pm, $5 donation suggested. Embarking as we are on month number one of year two-thousand-and-one-one, the theme of this month’s installation of this cross-discipline art night series is, yes, “one.” Not the most specific theme, sure – but that’s the way artists like it, and when you’ve assembled a passel of them from fields as varied as industrial design, animation, and fashion, sometimes it’s best just to step back and watch them unify.

Going commando

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CHEESY, SLEAZY CINEMA Last year found Jack Abramoff a peculiarly hot commodity at the movies, especially if you consider he spent most of the year in federal prison and hadn’t exercised his own Hollywood ambitions in nearly a quarter-century.

But then his recent on-screen exposure was not of an ilk he’d have chosen for himself: as subject of a documentary (2010’s Casino Jack and the United States of Money) and biographical drama (plain Casino Jack, also 2010) both depicting the now-infamous Washington, D.C., lobbyist as personification of that Shrub Era conservative jingoism, corrupt backdoor business deals, egomania, and greed that helped land us in our current economic craphole. And which got him four years, ending last month even as former Republican House Majority leader and BFF Tom DeLay faced the start of his own money-laundering slammer stint.

Abramoff was not likely to have enjoyed either portrait, not even as semi-sympathetically (albeit poorly) portrayed by Academy Award-winning thespian Kevin Spacey in the weaker film. If he’d been able to invent his own starring vehicle, no doubt it would have been more a flatteringly bold cross of 1987’s Wall Street (the Michael Douglas part), 1960’s Exodus (the Paul Newman as he-man crusader for Israel part) and 1980s Rocky-Rambo Stallone (the whole enchilada, from bulging biceps to rippling Old Glory and Commie-wasting weaponry). In the Reagan America of his physical if not yet political prime, he really was a bit of all those things: bodybuilder, Zionist, rabid anti-Red.

Whether he ever harbored dreams of being a celluloid hero, or was always content to become a real-life Supermensch, Abramoff did once make a movie — exactly one — exemplifying his beliefs and self-image in suitably cartoonish fashion, before realizing Hollywood’s corridors of power were puny game for a real man. So he moved on to the more hallowed halls of D.C. and Manhattan. But first, there was Red Scorpion.

This 1988 actioner starred 6-foot, 5-inch Swedish meatball Dolph Lundgren, hot from playing the robo-Russkie villain in Rocky IV (1985) and He-Man in Masters of the Universe (1987), as a “perfect killing machine” sent by evil Soviet commanders to assassinate a resistance leader in a fictive African nation under the thumb of Communist oppressors.

Tending not to play well with others, Lt. Nikolai Rachenko spends his first night here in jail for “disorderly conduct” — after a few drinks he’d kicked open a saloon door, beat up half the patrons, and machine-gunned the joint. Boys will be boys. He shares a cell with a local freedom fighter (Al White) and an American reporter (M. Emmet Walsh at his formidably most-obnoxious). For no obvious reason our steroid miracle of a KGB enforcer decides moments later to switch sides and help them escape. This effort requires killing about a million extras playing Russian and Cuban military occupiers to the tune of Little Richard’s “Good Golly Miss Molly.” (Because nothing says “Democracy rocks!” like the orgasmic trills of an African American queen.)

Slowly-dawning ability to feel empathy for suffering peoples indicated by the heavings of his perpetually oiled torso and completely unintelligible mutterings, Nikolai is recaptured by former masters and made to endure homoerotic torture. He escapes again, staggering through the desert alone, shirtless and shiny. Bushmen rescuers teach this Golden Bwana something or other — like Billy Jack, he sweats, grunts, and hallucinates toward enlightenment — and give him a scorpion tattoo as diploma.

Now armed spiritually as well as abdominally to do good, his reappearance in civilization spurs Walsh to call this juiced Russki “the gutsiest goddamn sonuvabitch I ever met.” (Arne Olsen’s screenplay, from the brothers Jack and Robert Abramoff’s story idea, is seldom even this articulate.)

The climactic triumphant popular uprising at one point hinges on Lundgren lifting a truck out of a sandtrap with his bare bulging guns, a bit included purportedly because Jack Abramoff was an iron-pumping addict himself at the time. (What makes the scene funnier is that it evidently occurred to no one that Nikolai’s load would be lightened if Walsh got his fat ass out of the truck cab for a minute.)

A movie rife with bad dialogue badly spoken — you’ll gulp as White seemingly enthuses “When we arrive there will be a celebration and much fisting!” — ends aptly with the worst pronunciation ever of “Fucken’ A.” Our heroes are then freeze-framed while strolling over another umpteen freshly killed Commies.

Red Scorpion was shrugged off as what it basically was, yet another Rambo ripoff arriving toward the tail end of that subgenre’s lifespan. (A theatrical flop, it did well enough on tape and cable to prompt 1994’s in-name-only sequel Red Scorpion 2, on which the Abramoffs got executive producer credits.) There certainly are more cheap, inept, laughable, senseless, just plain dumb films of its ilk — though this one does excel at dumbness — and unlike many it does have one good joke, involving a grenade and a decapitated hand. Otherwise, if not for its primary motivator’s subsequent antics, Red Scorpion would be just another forgotten B-grade cultural relic.

But the Beverly Hills-raised Abramoff — who spent the earlier part of the 1980s as an aggressive far-right youth activist — intended this first-last cinematic venture as a stealth combo of dynamite popular entertainment and anti-Red Menace propaganda. He modeled the character of “Mombaka’s” resistance savior Sundata (played by Ruben Nthodi) on real-life Angolan anti-Marxist rebel warlord Jonas Savimbi, a darling of later Cold War hawks. (Others would soon call him “a charismatic homicidal maniac.”)

It is still debated whether Red Scorpion‘s $16 million budget was secretly funded primarily by the South African government and/or military. Abramoff denies it — though he had already spearheaded support of the apartheid regime as College Republican National Committee chairman and founder of the dubiously named think tank, International Freedom Foundation. In any case, once protestors got wind of the production shooting in South Africa-controlled Namibia — defying an international boycott — a skittish Warner Bros. pulled out as distributor. (Scorpion was then picked up in the U.S. by Shapiro-Glickenhaus, who later gave us 1990’s Frankenhooker and 1992’s Basket Case 3: The Progeny.)

The shoot was fraught. Some actors and crew complained they were never paid; production was suspended for three months when money ran out; star attraction Lundgren was apparently quite the hulking handful on and off set. Afterward, Abramoff — who’d converted to Orthodox Judaism at age 12 after seeing Fiddler on the Roof (1971) — blamed the film’s potty-mouthed and violent excesses on director Joseph Zito (of future Tea Party fan Chuck Norris’ own 1985 anti-Commie classic Invasion U.S.A.) He founded something called the Committee For Traditional Jewish Values in Entertainment as penance.

That noble latter endeavor was abandoned about five seconds later, however, since by then Abramoff realized he had better things to do than mess around with pansy-ass showbiz. Among his future, better-known achievements — the ones that got him top billing as Inmate 27593-112 — were bilking casino-owning Native American tribes, keeping third world factory sweatshops safe from investigation, pimping Congress to myriad corporations, and otherwise pedaling corruption ’round the globe, all while clutching family values and raving against the Godforsaken liberals. He was ever so righteous about doing wrong.

Today, he’s free, if uncharacteristically silent, having finished both his hoosegow stint and a halfway-house stay during which he worked for below minimum wage at a Baltimore kosher pizzaria. One suspects he will not be flippin’ pie in the future, however. Sibling Robert Abramoff is still in the biz, producing such fascinating-sounding recent projects as 2009’s Pauly Shore and Friends, 2009’s Jesus People: The Movie, and 2010’s Dino Mom.

Lundgren, recently looking fine (if downsized) in 2010’s all-star Expendables, now directs his own direct-to-DVD action vehicles. Still fighting the good fight, alongside Israeli special forces and South African mercenaries, Savimbi died in a hail of machine-gun fire eight years ago. That event helped end Angola’s civil war after nearly three decades. And Red Scorpion lives on, more or less. I found my used VHS copy at Rasputin Music for 50 cents. Fucken’ A!

Stage Listings

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Stage listings are compiled by Guardian staff. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks. For complete listings, see www.sfbg.com.

THEATER

ONGOING

*Candid Dance Mission Theater, 3316 24th St; 273-4633, www.sweetcanproductions.com. $15-60. Call for dates and times. Through Jan 9. Sweet Can’s cosy pocket-circus at Dance Mission holds plenty of big-tent talent in its five-person cast (Jamie Coventry, Natasha Kaluza, Kerri Kresinski, Nobutaka Mochimaru, Matt White), backed by the ample multi-instrumental musicianship of Eric “EO” Oberthaler. This fleet 60-minute charmer (directed with strong ensemble choreography by Zaccho Dance Theatre’s Joanna Haigood) finds opportunities for creative expression and dazzling feats with whatever comes to hand (including using hands as feet). Performers dance around in trashcans, make hay with newspaper, or get seriously Fred Astaire with a broom (in White’s wowing solo). Goofy, family appropriate, but widely appealing and frequently eye-popping (Kaluza rocking 20 hula hoops, for inst, or Kresinski’s powerful aerial dance), Candid is can-do entertainment. (Avila)

Cavalia: A Magical Encounter Between Horse and Human White Big Top, 4th St at China Basin; 9866) 999-8111, www.cavalia.net. $69-144. Call for dates and times. Through Tues/4. A show with horses, aerial performers, actobats, and more.

Dirty Little Showtunes! A Parody Musical Revue New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $24-40. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 16. Tom Orr’s adults-only holiday show returns, with direction by F. Allen Sawyer and musical direction by Scrumbly Koldewyn.

*Forever Tango Marines’ Memorial Theatre, 609 Sutter; 771-6900; www.marinesmemorialtheatre.com. $45-100. Call for dates and times. Through Jan 12. Luis Bravo’s atmospheric showcase is a slick, showy mélange of music and dancing whose fluid precision and assemblage of talent make it hard to resist. Cheryl Burke heads up an amazing 13-member ensemble of very stylishly draped dancers (exquisite costuming by Argemira Affonso) who singularly, all together, and of course in dramatic couplings, blend supreme control and dramatic restraint with unabashed sexual allure and volcanic energy. The orchestra, meanwhile, under direction of Eduardo Miceli, creates the intoxicating ether that sets everything in motion. (Avila)

Joyful Noise: A Gospel Celebration of Christmas Southside Theater, Fort Mason Center; 345-7575, www.LHTSF.org. $25-50. Call for dates and times. Through Fri/31. Lorraine Hansberry Theatre presents a rechristened version of their Black Nativity production.

The Lion in Winter Actors Theatre, 855 Bush; 345-1287, www.ticketweb.com. $26-38. Wed-Sat, 8pm. Through Jan 15. Actors Theatre of SF presents James Goldman’s play of palace intrigue.

Mr. YooWho’s Holiday NOHspace, 2840 Mariposa; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $10-18. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Sun/2. European clown Moshe Cohen returns to SF for a third run at NOHspace.

Party of 2 – The New Mating Musical Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; (800) 838-3006, www.partyof2themusical.com. $27-29. Sun, 3pm. Open-ended. A musical about relationships by Shopping! The Musical author Morris Bobrow.

*Pearls Over Shanghai Thrillpeddlers’ Hypnodrome, 575 Tenth St; 1-800-838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $30-69. Sat, 8pm. Through April 9. Thrillpeddlers’ acclaimed production of the Cockettes musical continues its successful run.

Santaland Diaries Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. $20-30. Nightly, 8pm. Through Thurs/30. David Sinaiko returns as Crumpet in Combined Artform’s ninth annual production of the David Sedaris play.

Shrek The Musical Orpheum Theatre, 1192 Market; (888) SHN-1799, www.shnsf.com. $30-99. Tues, 8pm, Wed, 2 and 8pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2pm (no performance Fri/31). Through Sun/2. Eric Petersen stars in the stage version of the animated blockbuster.

Siddhartha, the Bright Path The Marsh Studio Theater, 1074 Valencia; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $15-35. Call for dates and times. Through Jan 9. Marsh Youth Theater presents a holiday celebration, directed by Lisa Quoresimo.

BAY AREA

Arabian Nights Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Thrust Stage, 2025 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2549, www.berkeleyrep.org. $34-73. Call for dates and times. Through Thurs/30. Tony-winning Mary Zimmerman’s production makes a return to Berkeley Rep.

Becoming Julia Morgan Berkeley City Club, 2315 Durant, Berk; (510) 984-3864, www.brownpapertickets.com. $24-30. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 9. Janis Stevens stars in Belinda Taylor’s play about the trailblazing architect.

East 14th – True Tales of a Reluctant Player The Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston Way, Berk; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Call for times. Through Feb 13. Don Reed’s one-man show continues its extended run.

Lemony Snicket’s The Composer is Dead Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Roda Theatre, 2015 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, www.berkeleyrep.org. Call for dates and times. Through Jan 15. Berkeley Rep premieres the new musical, written by Lemony Snicket, with music by Nathaniel Stookey.

Naughty and Nice: A Meg and Billy Christmas Aurora Theatre Company, 2081 Addison, Berk; (510) 843-4822, www.auroratheatre.org. $23-25. Call for dates and times. Through Thurs/30. Bay Area husband and wife cabaret duo Meg Mackay and Billy Philadelphia return with a holiday show.

Of the Earth – The Salt Plays: Part 2 Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby; (510) 841-6500, www.shotgunplayers.org. $17-30. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 30. Shotgun Players present the second half of writer and director Jon Tracy’s Odyssey-inspired tale, with music by Brendan West.

The World’s Funniest Bubble Show The Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $8-50. Wed-Thurs, 11am). Through Thurs/30. The Amazing Bubble Man’s show presents flying saucer bubbles and other wonders.

PERFORMANCE/DANCE

Cheapest and Greatest New Year’s Eve Stand-Up Show Phoenix Theatre, 414 Mason; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. Thurs/30, 7pm; Fri/31, 7 and 9:30pm. Stand-up comedy by W. Kamau Bell, Janine Brito, and Dwayne Kennedy.

Clown Cabaret TJT The Jewish Theatre, 470 Florida; 522-0786, www.climatetheater.org. Mon/3, 7 and 9pm. $15. The Clown Conservatory and others gather to perform.

Forking II: A Merry Forking! Christmas Off-Market Theatres, 965 Mission; (800) 838-3006, www.pianofight.com. Call for dates and times (through Thurs/30). PianoFight presents a holiday-themed choose-your-own-adventure play.

Frisco Fred’s Magic and More New Year’s Eve Show Actors Theater, 855 Bush; 646-0776, www.comedyonthesquare.com. Fri/31, 7:30pm. $40. The comedian-juggler presents a New Year’s show.

Mr. Nifty’s News Year’s Eve Vaudeville Extravaganza USF Presentation Theater, 2350 Turk; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com. Fri/31, 9pm. $25. Trainwreck Riders, Dr. Science, and others ring in 2011.

New Year’s Eve Mayhem with Michael Meehan and His Merrymakers Actors Theater, 855 Bush; 646-0776, www.comedyonthesquare.com. Fri/31, 10pm. $40. The stand-up comedian leads the countdown to midnight.

Not Your Normal New Year’s Eve Herbst Theatre, 401 Van Ness; 392-4400, www.NYNYE.com. Fri/31, 8-10pm. Stand-up comedy from Brent Weinbach, Moshe Kasher, and others.

Romane Event Comedy Show Make Out Room, 3225 22nd St; 647-2888, www.pacoromane.com. Wed/29, 8pm. $7. The comedian hosts Joe Tobin and others.

BAY AREA

Big Fat Year End Kiss Off Comedy Show XVII Rhythmix Cultural Works, 2513 Blanding, Alameda; (510) 865-5060, www.rhythmix.org. Fri/31, 7 and 10pm. $25-35. Will Durst, Johnny Steele, and others perform.

Striking 12 TheatreWorks at Lucie Stern Theatre, 1305 Middlefield, Palo Alto; (650) 463-1960, www.theatreworks.org. Call for dates and times (through Fri/31). $56-75. Indie pop group GrooveLily ushers in the new year a rewired version of Hans Christian Andersen’s The Little Match Girl.

Our Weekly Picks: December 29, 2010-January 4, 2011

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WEDNESDAY 29

STAGE

John Oliver

Emmy-award winning writer and comedian John Oliver has lent a familiar Dickens-esque face to American TVs since he began his role as the senior British correspondent on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show in 2006. In addition to a large body of satirical news work overseas that you don’t care about, he is a regular on NBC’s Community and had a role in 2008’s The Love Guru, which was not his fault. To this day, and as a credit to his commitment to dry humor, he insists on telling every joke with a funny English accent. (Ryan Prendiville)

Wed/29-Thurs/30 and Sat/1, 8 p.m. (also Sat/1, 10:15 p.m.);

Fri/31, 7 and 9:45 p.m., $35.50–$60.50

Cobb’s Comedy Club

915 Columbus, SF

(415) 928-4320

www.cobbscomedyclub.com

 

THURSDAY 30

MUSIC

San Francisco Chamber Orchestra

Bottoms Up! is a series of free concerts around the Bay Area featuring 17-year-old internationally renowned cellist Nathan Chan. Chan made his debut at the age of three conducting the San Jose Chamber Orchestra. Although he has grown a bit since then, his prodigious musical ability remains intact. Chan joins bassist Michel Taddei and the rest of the San Francisco Chamber Orchestra in selections by Mozart, Jon Deak, and Tchaikovsky. Advanced reservations are strongly recommended. (Emmaly Wiederholt)

Through Jan. 3

Tonight, 5:30 p.m., free (check website for complete schedule)

Intercontinental Hotel

888 Howard, SF

www.sfchamberorchestra.org

 

MUSIC

Primus

What could be better than catching one of the two upcoming Primus shows to close out your 2010? How about seeing a run through of the classic 1991 album, Sailing the Seas of Cheese? The album, which first introduced a mainstream audience to Les Claypool’s bizarrely innovative bass playing and the band’s self-described brand of “psychedelic polka,” will be performed front-to-back. And just to add to the nostalgia, Jay Lane, one of the band’s original drummers, will be joining in for the first time since 1989. The novelty of the “band playing its classic album” craze might be wearing off a tad, but it’s tough to argue with this one. (Landon Moblad)

With the Residents

Thurs/30–Fri/31, 8 p.m., $42.50

Fox Theater

1807 Telegraph, Oakl.

(510) 302-2277

www.thefoxoakland.com

 

MUSIC

MarchFourth Marching Band

We here at the Guardian are collecting predictions for wonderful (only wonderful) things that will occur in 2011. Let me kick off the convo with an easy lay-up: the continued resurgence of vaudevillian entertainment. The thrift store baroque aesthetic of SF’s circus-burlesque-klezmer whorl has also been fermenting in darkly fantastic corners about the country — and happily, the hobohemians love to tour! MarchFourth Marching Band is one of the O.G.s of this scene, having burst onto (and off of) Portland, Ore., stages in their full be-stilted, brass band flag-twirling fury back in 2003. Let them blast you into your end of the year orbit with 360 degrees of their wily, high-stepping ways. (Caitlin Donohue)

With Bodice Rippers and DJ Shawna

9 p.m., $17

Independent

628 Divisadero, SF

(415) 771-1421

www.theindependentsf.com

 

FRIDAY 31

PERFORMANCE

BATS Imrov’s New Year’s Eve Special

Both a school and a professional company, BATS Improv is the most awarded, largest, and longest-running improvisational theater group in Northern California. Join BATS this New Year’s Eve to usher in 2011 with a hilarious comedy improv show followed by an after-party complete with tasty snacks and a beer-wine-champagne bar. One complimentary beverage comes with admission. The cast, which includes John Remak, Kasey Klemm, Kimberly MacLean, Rafe Chase, Regina Saisi, and Tim Orr, will perform a variety of scenes and songs inspired by (and possibly even including) members of the audience. What better way to begin 2011 than with laughter and good cheer? (Wiederholt)

Fri/31, 8 p.m., $40

Bayfront Theater

Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna, SF

(415) 474-6776

www.improv.org

 

EVENT

Vampire Tour of San Francisco

You’ll probably wake up with marks all over your neck anyway — you might as well have a good excuse for how they got there. Before 2011’s first fling vacuum-sucks your neck into the new year, head over to what is possibly the only event in SF that doesn’t increase ticket prices by 200 percent just because it’s the 31st: Mina Harker’s vampire tour. A self-proclaimed convert by none other than Count Dracula himself back in 1897, Harker now flits about Nob Hill sharing facts from our city’s long involvement with enterprising ghouls of her ilk. A fangtastic early evening plan, particularly if you like biters. (Donohue)

8–10 p.m., $15–$20

Departs from corner of California and Taylor, SF

(650) 279-1840

www.sfvampiretour.com

 

MUSIC

Chris Isaak

Contemporary crooner Chris Isaak really needs no introduction to Bay Area music fans — the longtime San Francisco resident has been performing his retro-rockabilly tinged tunes for more than 25 years now, scoring a multitude of hit singles along the way. It’s only fitting that he come back home to help ring in the New Year here with a gig that promises to be one hell of a party. There should be enough up tempo rockers like “Gone Ridin'” to keep the guys happy and plenty of hauntingly beautiful love ballads sure to make the ladies swoon — “Wicked Game” ought to do nicely as the soundtrack for that first tender New Year’s kiss. (Sean McCourt)

9 p.m., $99

Fillmore

1805 Geary, SF

(415) 346-6000

www.livenation.com

 

PERFORMANCE

“The Marga Gomez New Year’s Eve Spectacular”

Not for nothing is Marga Gomez known as “San Francisco’s queer queen of New Year’s Eve.” For the past seven years, she’s performed at Theatre Rhinoceros’ popular Dec. 31 extravaganza. But the whip-smart, no-holds-barred comedian and playwright has announced that this’ll be her final NYE gig; Gomez fans, temper this bittersweet revelation with the knowledge that she’ll be sure to go out with a mega-bang. The bill is rounded out by transsexual comedian Natasha Muse, Pirate Cat Radio Morning Show host Casey Ley, and Theatre Rhino’s own John Fisher as host with DJ OJ. Plus: balloon drop at midnight! (Cheryl Eddy)

7 and 9 p.m., $30–$35

Victoria Theatre

2961 16th St, SF

1-800-838-3006

www.therhino.org

 

FILM

The Phantom of the Opera

As any Hollywood history buff knows, both of Lon “Man of 1,000 Faces” Chaney’s parents were deaf. Having honed his pantomime skills since birth, Chaney’s success as a silent movie star should’ve surprised nobody (except that one sourpuss studio executive who, according to Wikipedia, told Chaney “You’ll never be worth more than $100 a week.”) One of the actor’s greatest triumphs, as the title role in 1925’s The Phantom of the Opera, is this year’s pick for Grace Cathedral’s annual New Year’s Eve silent movie. Go earlier if you have party plans, or for maximum spookiness, attend the later show, which lets out just before midnight. Musician Dorothy Papadakos accompanies both showings on the cathedral’s Aeolian-Skinner organ, itself almost as old as the Phantom film. (Eddy)

7 and 10 p.m., $10–$20

Grace Cathedral

1100 California, SF

(415) 392-4400

www.cityboxoffice.com

 

MUSIC

Slackers

New York City’s Slackers got unfairly lumped in with all of the punk-tinged, third-wave ska groups that blew up briefly in the mid-1990s. Look closer and you’ll see a band whose musical maturity (if not its lyrics) has always seemed a little classier and less concerned with current trends. And whether touching on rocksteady, soul, dub, reggae or old-fashioned rock and roll, Slackers shows always keep up-tempo, danceable rhythms and a party vibe throughout. Speaking of which — rumor has it the band throws a hell of a New Year’s Eve bash. (Moblad)

With Boss 501 and Lord Loves a Working Man

9 p.m., $35

Great American Music Hall

859 O’Farrell, SF

(415) 885-0750

www.gamh.com

 

SATURDAY 1

MUSIC

Breakfast of Champions

Saint Patrick’s Day, Halloween, New Year’s Eve: As my uncle Greg and pretty much any alcoholic will tell you, these are generally considered amateur hour when it comes to the drinking. This block party, the first thrown by the Space Cowboy DJ collective, provides an opportunity to celebrate New Year’s Eve, even if you skip out on the countdown, hoping to not have drunk bro vomit on your shoes as soon as the ball drops. Again. Or, it’s the opportunity to just roll straight through the night and keep dancing into next year. Conveniently, it starts when it’s legal to sell booze again. (Prendiville)

6 a.m., $25

Mighty

119 Utah, SF

(415) 762-0151

www.breakfast-of-champions.eventbrite.com

 

MUSIC

Pinback

Pinback is a great example of a band finding its own niche and mastering it. Since 1998, Rob Crow and Armistead Burwell Smith IV have made perfectly precise indie-rock albums, full of snaky bass lines and subtle time signature shifts. The songs can often sound so intricately crafted that they seem mechanical. But luckily, the pair are both gifted in the art of finding strong melodic hooks, counteracting the machine-like production with adequate amounts of human touch and catchy choruses. In a live setting, Pinback is expanded to a five-piece, with collaborators from its albums filling in the empty gaps. (Moblad)

With JP Inc.

10 p.m., $20

Bottom of the Hill

1233 17th Street, SF

(415) 621-4455

www.bottomofthehill.com

SUNDAY

JANUARY 2

 

Edgar Winter

One of two albino brothers. A child prodigy and multi-instrumentalist known to go from keys to saxophone to drums to synths and beyond in a single song. Among hits like “Free Ride,” had a No. 1 with face-melting, synthesizer-pioneering instrumental track “Frankenstein.” A Scientologist, he recorded Mission Earth, an album based on directions from L. Ron Hubbard. Still active into his 60s, Winter frequently tours with Ringo Starr, likely his favorite Beatle. If I had made up Edgar Winter, would you believe me? (Prendiville)

7 p.m., $38

Yoshi’s San Francisco

1330 Fillmore St., SF

(415) 655-5600

www.yoshis.com 

 

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Alerts

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steve@sfbg.com

FRIDAY, DEC. 31

 

Critical Mass

Pedal your way toward a strong finish of 2010 by taking part in Critical Mass, a monthly San Francisco tradition for more than 15 years. As always, this leaderless group bicycle ride follows no set route and obeys no traffic laws or authorities, except yielding to pedestrians and emergency vehicles. This month, a group of anarchists (marked with black flags or other variations on that theme) plans to end up in the Mission District liberating a public space for a DIY New Year’s Eve celebration, so look out for that if that’s your bag.

6 p.m., free

departs from Justin Herman Plaza

Market and Embarcadero, SF

www.sfcriticalmass.org

MONDAY, JAN. 3

 

The next mayor?

In order to finally facilitate a public discussion of who San Francisco’s next mayor should be and how the prospective nominees would run the city, the Harvey Milk LGBT Democratic Club is sponsoring a forum for mayoral hopefuls. Club members have been concerned about the lack of public process for replacing Mayor Gavin Newsom (see “Mayoral dynamics,” Dec. 22), so they’ve invited the top candidates — including former Mayor Art Agnos, Sheriff Michael Hennessey, SFPUC head Ed Harrington, and others — to share their vision for 2011 and beyond. The event is cosponsored by SEIU Local 1021 and moderated by Guardian Executive Editor Tim Redmond.

6 p.m., free

SF LGBT Center

1800 Market, SF

www.milkclub.org

TUESDAY, JAN. 4

 

Newsom’s last stand

Join the outgoing San Francisco Board of Supervisors for its final scheduled meeting — and the final opportunity for the current board to select Mayor Gavin Newsom’s successor before the newly elected board takes over Jan. 8. At press time, Newsom was still threatening to delay his Jan. 3 swearing-in as California’s new lieutenant governor to prevent the current board from replacing him, so come see how that drama plays out and weigh in with your thoughts.

2 p.m., free

Room 250, City Hall

1 Dr. Carlton B. Goodlett Dr., SF

www.sfbos.org

WED. JAN. 5

 

Chris Daly Roast

We don’t usually list events for the following week’s paper, but this is one that lovers and haters of outgoing Sup. Chris Daly — which pretty much describes most San Franciscans — will want to mark on their calendars. The classic roast features John Burton, Aaron Peskin, Carolyn Tyler, and Dan Noyes, with Mistresses of Ceremonies Melissa Griffin and Beth Spotswood.

8 p.m., $20 (benefits St. James Infirmary ), or $5 after 10 p.m.

The Independent

628 Divisadero, SF.

Mail items for Alerts to the Guardian Building, 135 Mississippi St., SF, CA 94107; fax to (415) 437-3658; or e-mail alert@sfbg.com. Please include a contact telephone number. Items must be received at least one week prior to the publication date.

 

Editor’s Notes

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tredmond@sfbg.com

Art Agnos spent six terms in the California Assembly and four years as mayor; he doesn’t need my political advice. But I gave it to him anyway the last time I saw him, when he expressed an interest in serving out the remainder of Gavin Newsom’s term.

Agnos and I were not close when he was running San Francisco; the Guardian supported him strongly for the job, but we were quickly disillusioned, not just by his nearly instant sellout to Pacific Gas and Electric Co., but by his apparent disdain for public process. But now he’s retired, and living on Potrero Hill near the Guardian office, and I see him on the streets when I’m going to buy lunch at Hazel’s and he’s walking his dog, and we have pleasant chats about politics. He’s mellowed. At 72, he seems to have a bit more perspective on what he did right — and wrong.

At any rate, when he told me that he’d be willing to serve as a caretaker mayor — and I got a sense that he’d actually like to do it — I told him this: you can’t just talk to me and a few supervisors. You want to be mayor of San Francisco, even for 11 months, you have to go out and talk to the people who spend their lives trying to make this a better place. The same goes for Ed Harrington, Mike Hennessey, and anyone else who wants the job.

Here’s the odd thing about the next mayor: For better or for worse, the person who takes over whenever Newsom finally decides to go to Sacramento will be directly accountable only six supervisors (or seven or eight, in the unlikely event that anyone gets that kind of majority). If the interim mayor is really a caretaker and never seeks reelection, it’s possible that the voters and the activist groups that define San Francisco won’t be part of the next administration’s political calculus.

And that would be a mistake.

The progressive movement in San Francisco is much stronger and more organized than it was when Agnos first ran for mayor in 1987. And if the progressive majority on the board chooses a mayor, there will be high expectations — not just for policy, but for openness and inclusiveness. After being shut out for seven years, a whole lot of people are going to want to be able to walk into the Mayor’s Office and feel welcome.

And that process starts now.

There are all kinds of arcane state laws that limit the ability of the current or incoming supervisors to campaign for the mayor’s job. But we already know who they are — they’ve been campaigning and meeting with groups and constituents regularly over the past couple of years. Not so with the outside candidates.

What mix of new revenue and cuts would Harrington seek to balance the budget? How would Hennessey address pension reform? Where’s Agnos on implementing community choice aggregation? I’m not the only one who wants to know.

There’s this ethos among these guys that it’s unseemly to be trying too hard to get the job, that it’s better to sit back and be asked — and part of that is the reality that it’s going to suck trying to balance the city’s books, and it won’t be a fun 11 months, and some of them would just as soon not bother. But there’s no shame in wanting to be mayor, or interim mayor. If you want it, say so — and tell us all what you’d do.

I’m moderating a Harvey Milk Club panel discussion Jan. 3 and all the prospective candidates are invited. The least any potential mayor can do is show up and answer questions.

Hot sexy events: December 29-January 4

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“Scott and I wanted to create an adult playground that wasn’t just some hedonistic, narcissistic freefall into the apocalypse.” Co-founder Polly Superstar is ready to celebrate a decade of Mission Control‘s swingin’ good times at the play space (which she founded with hubby Baron Scott Levkoff)’s NYE party-ten year anniversary soiree Fri/31. 

But first, a look back. “We wanted a place where people could feel safe exploring their sexuality without the rigidity of the BDSM scene, and without the expectation and pressure of the swinger scene.” And so MC’s been throughout the aughts: a land where art, sex, and hell yeah, theme parties, have been coming together to the greater glory of SF’s freaky, funky pansexual scene.

Superstar’s pumped about her brand’s expansion into Austin and her hometown of London – and between her, me, and you, there’s more to come. Try club openings in New York, Copenhagen, and Krakow, a how-to book on throwing your own sex party – and at the SF location kinksters have grown to bone and love, a 2011 event that will focus on ritual and sexuality and be hosted by Francesca Gentile (who has led similar rituals at MC events in the past). So pop them bottles, SF – spend your midnight with the Mission Control freaks, or sample some of the other tasty sex events on the NYE buffet line. 

 

 

NYE at Mission Control 

This new year marks a decade of ooo’s and ah’s done pansexual style at Mission Control – so what better way to show your thanks for their sexy play space than by attending their NYE bash? Onstage lineup includes spoken word artists Baraka and We Are The Unreal, as well as burlesque (and boylesque) artists, DJs, and an appearance by the dreaded, orgasm-stealing Coq Blok! Party in the front, sexy time in the back (rooms).  

Fri/31 10 p.m.-3 a.m., $35-40 members only

Mission Control 

2519 Mission, SF

www.missioncontrolsf.org


Lusty New Year

Watch them balls drop! Your favorite unionized strip club is open for business as 2011 comes a’knockin’. And, unlike the rest of the NYE heap, they’re not charging a cover! Amazing, isn’t it – ladies who are respected on the job ready and waiting to show you their naughty bits, dance on your lap – they’re even down for a bit of foot worship. Wanna break (or make) some early resolutions?

Fri/31 11 p.m.- 3 a.m., free

Lusty Lady

1033 Kearny, SF

(415) 391-3991

www.lustyladysf.com


Steamworks New Year’s Toast

Bring NYE in with a bang! (How many puns can I wring out of this holiday? Let’s find out!) Yes indeed, Steamworks encourages you to put on your new year’s best, then strip it all off and shoot your (champagne!) spume across the room in celebration. The bath house is calling in the help of DJ Frank Wild, plus they’re showing the Times Square festivities on their mega 60-incher in the lounge. Wait, there’s a TV in the Steamworks lounge? Now you know.

Fri/31 10 p.m.- 1 a.m., 

Steamworks

2107 Fourth St., Berk.

(510) 845-8992

www.steamworksonline.com

 

Fuggedaboutit

Most of the strip clubs in town are investing in oversized martini glasses to stick their girls in, but Centerfolds has a slightly different take on NYE: why don’t get the patrons to dress up in ridiculous costumes this time? To that end, their Sopranos-themed evening, Fuggedaboutit. Discounts for wise guy costumes at the door, hourly giveways of TLC from the ladies onstage, and of course, free Italian all-you-can-eat courtesy of Pizelle Pizza.

Fri/31, $10 with mobster costume

Centerfolds

391 Broadway, SF

(415) 834-0662

www.centerfoldsf.com


Power Exchange New Year’s Eve Ball

A little flogging play with your bubbly, ma’am? ‘Tis the season to hook up with randoms – and lucky you, you’ve got the Power Exchange so that you don’t have to spend a moment with the teases and prudes at most of the city’s bars and clubs. Dust off your leather best, polish up your seduction game, and head to one of SF’s best known BDSM spaces.

Fri/31 8 p.m.-2 a.m., $20 single women and trans, $40 couples, $60 men

Power Exchange 

74 Otis, SF

(800) 916-2513

www.powerexchange.com

 

Appetite: Revisit Studio 54 at Burritt Room’s NYE party

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There are many, many party options for New Year’s Eve this year, but one of my favorite cocktail spots is hosting an event that seems particularly appealing to those with adventurous taste (and tastebuds) …

It’s Dec 31, 1977. Enter the iconic Studio 54 decked out in your most stylish pantsuit, hair flowing and free. Sip cocktails by a life-sized unicorn sculpture made of ice before heading to the dance floor to strut your best disco moves. Four tons of glitter drop from the ceiling creating a shimmering moment Studio 54 owner Ian Shrager later called “standing on stardust.” Movie set or imaginary party? Not this New Year’s Eve. Hosted by the fabulous Bon Vivants, S.O.S. 2011 takes place in the seductive Burritt Room with the magic re-created, sans four tons of glitter (the unicorn will be there, however).

If you’ve ever been to a Bon Vivants party, you know they are classy, exuberant, unforgettable events (recall my recap of the Cocktail Carnival Gala they hosted at this year’s SF Cocktail Week). Wear your best disco-chic and come for a respite from overcrowded, obnoxious NYE parties elsewhere (a value I truly appreciate at Vivants events).

Dance the new year in 1970’s-style to the disco sounds of DJ Bus Station John (trust us, it wont be the same tunes you’ve heard a million times), savor four of Josh Harris and Scott Baird’s signature cocktails, all-night bites from Trick Dog chef Chester Watson, and a midnight champagne toast (all included in ticket price). The event will sell out soon so jump on tickets now. See you there under the disco ball.

December 31, 9pm-2am

$85/ticket, includes 4 signature cocktails, champagne, food
The Burritt Room at the Crescent Hotel
417 Stockton Street
*Discount packages offered for ticket & hotel room combinations: $250 – 2 tickets + standard hotel room; $300 – 2 tickets + hotel suite

Tickets available at www.brownpapertickets.com/event/139468

–Subscribe to Virgina’s twice monthly newsletter, The Perfect Spot

Our Weekly Picks: December 22-28, 2010

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WEDNESDAY 22

DANCE

The Christmas Ballet

Smuin Ballet’s The Christmas Ballet (previewed previously and now a mini-review) is a welcome antidote to the sentimentality surrounding the holiday season. The first part pays lip service to more or less classical music but the show really takes off in the second half, “The Cool Christmas.” Matthew Linzer as Elvis and Robin Cornwell, giving life to Eartha Kitt, are show-stealers. But then so is Ryan Camou’s high-leaping drummer boy. This entertainment — and that’s what it is — is ballet-based though leavened with Cajun, Irish, polka, waltz, hula, jazz, and tap. This year choreographer-in-residence Amy Seiwert’s added a spritely “Carol of the Bells”; her stark and sculpturally intriguing “Noel Nouvelet,” based on a 15th-century carol, still looks strong. The late Smuin’s wide-ranging musical taste allowed him to come with intriguing versions of familiar material. In this respect, at least, Seiwert seems to follow in his footsteps. (Rita Felciano)

Wed/22–Thurs/23, 8 p.m. (also Wed/22, 2 p.m.);

Fri/24, 2 p.m., $4–$62

Yerba Buena Center for the Arts

Novellus Theater

701 Mission, SF

(415) 978-2787

www.ybca.org

 

PERFORMANCE

SantaLand Diaries

David Sedaris, one of America’s favorite humorists, got his start with SantaLand Diaries, an essay on his stint working as an elf in the holiday spectacle at Macy’s. Sedaris first shared this humorous holiday anecdote on National Public Radio’s Morning Edition in 1992. Since then it has been adapted for the stage by Joe Mantello as a solo one-act. David Sinaiko stars as Crumpet the elf in Combined Artform’s annual presentation of holiday amusement and laughs. The wacky zaniness of the holidays is captured by Sedaris like none other. Note that no one under 16 will be admitted. (Emmaly Wiederholt)

Wed/22–Fri/24 and Dec. 26–-30, 8 p.m.;

(also Thurs/23, 5 p.m.; Fri/24, 3 p.m.) $20–$30

Eureka Theatre

215 Jackson, SF

www.cafearts.com

 

MUSIC

San Francisco Symphony

In the last few frenzied days before Christmas, take time to get into the spirit with the San Francisco Symphony in Twas the Night, a program of holiday favorites. From “Good King Wenceslas” to “The 12 Days of Christmas,” this assortment of beloved seasonal tunes will put the whole family in good cheer. Ages 17 and under are half-price and complimentary festive beverages follow the performance, so join in the jolly fun. With Ragnar Bohlin conducting, Robert Huw Morgan on organ, Lisa Vroman singing soprano, and Joan Cifarelli on piano, traditional carols and songs come to life as never before. (Wiederholt)

Wed/22–Thurs/23, 7:30 p.m.; Fri/24, 2 p.m., $15–$67

Davies Symphony Hall

201 Van Ness, SF

(415) 864-6000

www.sfsymphony.org

 

THURSDAY 23

 

FILM

Sita Sings the Blues

Inspired by the sudden decay of her own marriage, Nina Paley recreated what she’s called “the greatest break-up story ever told,” the tale of Sita and Rama from Sanskrit epic the Ramayama. The resulting film, produced on the director’s home computer, has been hailed as a miracle of contemporary animation, blending various artistic styles with the music of 1920s blues singer Annette Hanshaw. Using that music created a copyright suit against Paley, who has since released the movie online as part of the Free Culture movement. These screenings benefit the Red Vic, courtesy of the director and Shadow Distribution. (Ryan Prendiville) Thurs/23 and Sun/26, 7:15 and 9:15 p.m.

(also Sun/26, 2 and 4 p.m.), $6–$9

Red Vic Movie House

1727 Haight, SF

(415) 668-3994

www.redvicmoviehouse.com

 

PERFORMANCE

“Joyful Noise: A Gospel Celebration of Christmas”

The Lorraine Hansberry Theatre is in the midst of its 30th anniversary seasons — and like all previous seasons, 2010-11 is dedicated to “exploring, celebrating, and reflecting the lives of African Americans.” But it’s been a bittersweet year, with the deaths of founding artistic director Stanley E. Williams and founding executive director Quentin Easter, a longtime couple, coming just weeks apart. LHT has dedicated this year’s spin on its traditional holiday gospel musical, Black Nativity, to the pair; the popular performance’s new title and script were created with Williams’ input before he died. But don’t expect a somber affair — the play honors the spirits of its founders with dance, humor, and powerful vocals, and promises to bring joy to all ages, cultures, and faiths. (Cheryl Eddy)

Through Dec. 31

Thurs, 8 p.m.; Fri/24 and Dec. 31, 2 p.m.;

(also Dec. 31, 7 p.m.); Sun/26, 4 p.m., $25–$50

Fort Mason Center

Southside Theater, Bldg D

Marina at Laguna, SF

www.lhtsf.org

 

EVENT

Latke Ball

While the nerdy Jews will be tittering away at Kung Pao Kosher Comedy (see below), the Jew who just wants to get her grind on (or anyone trying to duck down from tinsel) heads tonight to the annual Latke Ball, the Jewish Community Federation’s annual December fundraiser — usually held Dec. 24 but stepping into the night prior this year outta respect to shabbat. Sure, there are no cutting edge DJs on the bill, but more than 1,000 observant and not-so-much Heebs who refuse to take “closed for the holidays” for an answer? This calls for a mazel tov! — and maybe a Manhattan. (Caitlin Donohue)

9 p.m.–2 a.m., $40

Ruby Skye

420 Mason, SF

(415) 777-0411

www.jewishfed.org/event/latke-ball-2010

 

PERFORMANCE

Kung Pao Kosher Comedy

While the Jew into sweatin’ to the top 40 is dodging flailing stiletto vamps at the Latke Ball (see above), the more cerebral set heads to Kung Pao Kosher Comedy, comedian Lisa Geduldig’s 18-year-old stand-up alternative to the low-fi claymation specials blasting from your roommate’s TV. The annual event was birthed in a South Hadley, Mass., Chinese restaurant and serves up yucks by offbeat comedians hailing from various corners of Jewdom, all over family-style servings of rock cod with bok choy and Boca Raton-style chow mein. Headliners this year include creepy-cute comedy vet Wendy Liebman, 21-year old prodigy Nathan Habib, and Georgia-born Vietnamese-Jew Joe Nguyen. (Donohue)

Thurs/23–Sun/26, 5 and 8:30 p.m., $42–$62

New Asia Restaurant

772 Pacific, SF

(925) 275-9005

www.koshercomedy.com

 

SATURDAY 25

 

EVENT

Safeway Holiday Ice Rink

New York City has its world-famous skating rink at Rockefeller Center, blah blah blah. But why travel to the freezing-cold East Coast when you can get some downtown ice time right here in San Francisco? Possibly rocking a t-shirt while you’re at it? Plunked down in the middle of Union Square, the Safeway Holiday Ice Rink offers 90-minute sessions starting on each even hour. You’ll already be banged up from fighting the crowds at Macy’s and (sweet Jeebus) Forever 21, so it’s well worth taking a shopping time-out to channel your inner Johnny Weir as Union Square’s behemoth Christmas tree twinkles overhead. (Eddy)

Through Jan. 17, 2011

Daily, 10 a.m.–10 p.m. (Fri-Sat, 10 a.m.-11:30 p.m.);

Dec. 31, closes at 9:30 p.m., $4.50–$9.50 (skate rental, $4)

Union Square

Geary and Powell, SF

www.unionsquareicerink.com

 

MUSIC

“13th Annual Black X Mass”

Gotta love it when you click on an event taking place Dec. 25 and it takes you to the First Satanic Church’s homepage. The Black X Mass, though, is ironically a bit of a godsend. Maybe you don’t celebrate Christmas, or you’re unable to travel to hang with relatives — or perhaps you’re planning to do both, and fully realize you’ll need to decompress after a full-court press of holiday cheer. Whatever the reason, if you’ll be lurking around the dark and lonely streets of San Francisco during the holidays, head to the Elbo Room for Karla LaVey and the First Satanic Church’s annual Black X Mass party. Replace that Santa hat with horns and hail the stylings of Graves Brothers Deluxe, Dimesland, Los Murderachis, the Fuxedos, Theremin Wizard Barney, the Devil Dancers, and more. (Eddy)

9 p.m., $9.99

Elbo Room

647 Valencia, SF

(415) 552-7788

www.elbo.com

 

SUNDAY 26

 

PERFORMANCE

“Gallagher’s Holiday Smash Bash”

Like Sinbad, Gallagher has spent a couple decades in relative obscurity. So obscure, in fact, that’s it’s hard to imagine a time when he was popular. Immensely popular. Like, 10 televised specials between 1980 and 1987 popular. (Side note: this type of inexplicable success is known as “the Aykroyd phenomenon.”) Cultural amnesia makes it difficult to admit liking the innovator of prop comedy. But the decline of Gallagher is not due to simply a change in fashion, the way society decided one day that we no longer found giant men hilarious if they wore Hammer pants. No, it’s because of Carrot Top. That fucker single-handedly ruined props for everyone. Tonight, Gallagher may Sledge-O-Matic us back to a simpler time. (Prendiville)

7 p.m., $30

Yoshi’s San Francisco

1330 Fillmore, SF

(415) 655-5600

www.yoshis.com

 

MONDAY 27

MUSIC

Morris Day and the Time

Few can rock a suit like Morris Day. After bringing himself out of a self-imposed retirement in 2004, the funk-R&B singer and Prince collaborator released It’s About Time, his first solo album in 12 years. Much to his fans’ delight, he also got all the original members of the Time back together to begin touring again. Pieced together by Prince in 1981 as an outlet for material he didn’t necessarily want to release under his own (ever-changing) name, the group eventually carried on itself, thanks in large part to the eccentric and energetic stylings of Day — who also turned in a memorable performance as the Purple One’s foil in 1984’s Purple Rain. (Landon Moblad)

Mon/27–Tues/28, 8 and 10 p.m., $30–$45

Yoshi’s San Francisco

1330 Fillmore, SF

(415) 655-5600

www.yoshis.com

 

TUESDAY 28

 

MUSIC

“X-mas With X (An Evening With)”

Legendary Los Angeles punk rock group X distinguished itself from other bands of its era by adding the rock-solid drumming of DJ Bonebrake, the guitar virtuosity of Billy Zoom, and the poetic lyrics and intimate vocal interplay of John Doe and Exene Cervenka. It was this distinctive blend that caught the attention of Doors keyboardist Ray Manzarek, who went on to produce the band’s classic first album, 1980’s Los Angeles. At these two very special shows, Manzarek joins X on stage to perform their debut record in its entirety, lending his talents on the keys that helped shape tunes such as the throbbing “Nausea” and the set-closing “The World’s A Mess, It’s In My Kiss.” (Sean McCourt)

Through Dec. 29

8 p.m., $31

Slim’s

333 11th St., SF

(415) 255-0333

www.slims-sf.com 

 

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Holy high whoreiday

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caitlin@sfbg.com

SEX It started with a serial killer. Porn star-feminist Annie Sprinkle was reading about mass murderer Gary Ridgeway slaughter of, on his count, 71 prostitutes in the 1980s and ’90s. She came across this in Ridgway’s explanation of his choice of victims: “I picked prostitutes because they were easy to pick up without being noticed. I knew they … might never be reported missing. I thought I could kill as many of them as I wanted without getting caught.”

It was a wake-up call for Sprinkle. “We don’t have equal protection,” says the busty self-termed “ecosexual,” who was a sex worker for 20 years and now serves as a role model to many in the radical sex community. Sprinkle reacted by organizing the first International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers on Dec. 17, 2003. It’s an event that is now recognized in cities around the world.

In San Francisco, Sprinkle’s “whore holy high holiday” will be marked by a City Hall vigil for all the sex workers affected by discrimination and violence this year and performance art, followed by a march to the Center for Sex and Culture (sexandculture.org). All the events are free and open to anyone who wants to stand up for those that get paid to lay down.

This year, event organizers have a dangerously prude city policy in their sights: the toxic San Francisco Police Department practice of checking suspected prostitutes’ pockets for condoms to serve as proof of intent to have sex for money. It’s a policy that Mayor Gavin Newsom and the state’s first Latina attorney general, Kamala Harris, support. Sprinkle finds it completely at odds with the mission of promoting safe sex among anyone who could be walking down the street with a rubber in their pocket, as well as dangerous to sex workers. “It’s nasty, and really stupid, and so counterproductive — is that the message that we want to be sending?”

Which is not to say that Friday will be devoid of sweet, sexy joy entirely. After all, where would be the fun in gathering up SF’s sex-positive community if no one got naked? Later that evening, the Center for Sex and Culture will host a special edition of the national literary series Naked Girls Reading showcasing — yep — naked girls reading literature written by those who spread their legs to make their living.

“It’s a great opportunity for feminism and art,” says event organizer Lady Monster, who heard about Miss Erotic World 2005 Michelle L’amour’s original Naked Girl Chicago series and thought it a perfect fit for our pervy-intellectual burg. She held the first event in April and “it took off like wild blazes,” packing venues across town.

An ex phone sex operator who dabbled in private peep shows in her home state of Ohio without being told that the work was illegal, Lady Monster notes that the poor economy and demise of Craigslist escort ads in response to outside pressure has introduced even greater risks to sex workers, pressure that can lead them to accept unsafe working conditions. She feels that the nationwide observance of Dec. 17 “is a way to give people an opportunity to celebrate sex workers’ rights.”

On stage, her reading event will celebrate their contribution to arts and literature. Sexologist Dr. Carol Queen will be leafing through a book at the night’s nudie show; as well as burlesque star Dottie Lux; sex worker activist Robyn Few; Lady Monster herself (who’ll be reading from Some Girls, the memoir of Jillian Lauren, the American who lived and worked in a Brunei harem); and Sprinkle, among others. Lady Monster says the requirements needed to be onstage fall into three categories: readers must be accomplished writers, have public speaking experience, and — perhaps the most obvious — they’ve got be down to make the scene in the all together.

“Three hundred and sixty-four days a year we talk about how much we like our work, and one day a year we take time to realize that there are real victims out there,” Sprinkle says. It may be the oldest profession, but even in Gomorrah by the Bay, sex work is still a far cry from society’s respected elder.

INTERNATIONAL DAY TO END VIOLENCE AGAINST SEX WORKERS

Fri., Dec. 17

4 p.m., free

City Hall

Civic Center, SF

www.swopusa.org

NAKED GIRLS READING

9 p.m., $15–$20

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, SF

(415) 552-7399

www.nakedgirlsreading.com/sanfrancisco

 

Hot sexy events December 15-21

0

Sigh. I guess I’m supposed to be Christmas shopping right now. But all I can focus is on is another week of sweet and wild sex events – what’s a girl to do? In the spirit of at least trying to pretend I give a damn, however, here are five fantastic places to buy sexy somethings for the naughties on your list. And the weekly sex events, of course. 

1. Quality SM – run by womens since 1988, this locally based online catalog specializes in British BDSM titles. www.qualitysm.com

2. Dark Garden – the hottest corsets money can buy for the love in your life that needs cinching. 321 Linden, SF. (415) 431-7684, www.darkgarden.com

 3.Good Vibrationsduh, if you read this column at all, duh. Various Bay Area locations. www.goodvibes.com

4. Stormy Leather – leather goods for all! 1158 Howard, SF. (415) 626-1672, www.stormyleather.com

5. Big Al’s Adult Super Store – sample Yelp review: “Forget about stoopid goodvibes and their politically-correct-boring-medical-supply-store bullshit!” Great for bachelorette parties! 556 Broadway, SF. (415) 391-8510

Good Vibrations Customer Appreciation Night

Surely this night was formulated with the diligent holiday shopper in mind, but really Good Vibes – free wine and chocolate? One-on-one attention from sexperts? This is one shopping event (actually five – Fri/17, Sat/18, Weds/22 and Thurs/23 will see the same perks) that will nurture the sex life of the gifter and giftee in one fell swoop. Pick up a present for you and yours, how bout?

Thurs/16 6-8 p.m., free

Good Vibrations 

Various Bay Area locations

www.goodvibes.com


International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers

Started in SF, this is the day to honor all those that lay down for our bullshit – and bucks – and to speak out against the violence and discrimination heaped on them in return. Friday’s memorial at City Hall features a performance piece entitled “Sex Worker Scream,” a reading of all of 2010’s victims, and a candlelit march to the Center for Sex and Culture for tea and cookies, for real.

Fri/17 

Performance and vigil start at 4:17 p.m., march after to Center for Sex and Culture, free

In front of City Hall, SF

www.swopusa.org


Naked Girls Reading 

Started by burlesque champion Michelle L’Amour in Chicago, this nudie reading series has spread to cities across the country – and none of the chapters have more sexy indie cred than SF’s franchise. Started by Burly Q beauty-erotica writer Lady Monster, this month’s event will see the women reading literature penned by sex workers. Annie Sprinkle makes a guest appearance, you can augment your literary arsenal, and see some boobies — what could be better, right?

Fri/17 8 p.m., $10-20

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, SF

(415) 552-7399

www.nakedgirlsreading/sanfrancisco


Pink

Pansexual play party Pink has made a practice of having sexy pre-event lessons to ease you into a night of swinging and cavorting at Mission Control’s pillow strewn harem rooms. This month, come early for a crash course on flirting: Jasper from The New Eccentrics will be taking it deep and hard into the areas of the brain and the corresponding ways to get them all hot and bothered (in a metaphysical sense).

Fri/17 9 p.m. charm school, 10 p.m. party

Mission Control

2519 Mission, SF

www.missioncontrolsf.org


Carnal Carnival

An encore performance by Ms. San Francisco Leather contestant Ms. Cat, singletail whip-throwing contests, vibrator races, and kinky raffles await you at this decidedly un-cotton candy carnival (although there will be a dessert table on hand). Plus, as befitting the holiday season, The Exiles (SF’s womens-only BDSM educational group) will be holding a children’s toy drive at their get-down.

Fri/17 7:30 p.m., $10 non-members

Women’s Building

3543 18th St., SF

(415) 431-1180

www.exiles.org


BBW BDSM Munch

Will all the big, beautiful, kinky women please stand up? That’s right, now find some car keys and roll to Milpitas, because there’s a far-flung party that’s being held in your honor. Yessir, here in the embrace of mesquite-grilled Southwestern fare you can find a diverse spread of those who’d be honored to engage in some rough play with you – men, women, doms, subs, everything in between. Appetites encouraged, as is street wear (you’ll be in a public room, no need to stress the squares). 

Sat/18 11 a.m.-1 p.m., free (purchase of food or drink encouraged)

On The Border

260 Ranch, Milpitas

(408) 935-6070

www.fetlife.com/groups/26844

 

Our weekly Picks: December 15-21, 2010

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WEDNESDAY 15

MUSIC

Buzzov*en

Legendary sludge metal band Buzzov?en has been wandering the wilderness since the early ’90s, its members ping-ponging between different down-tuned, drugged-out projects. Sludge, an ugly-sounding offshoot of stoner metal, can be traced back to the Melvins, and it was relatively big business in 1994 when Buzzov?en’s second album, Sore, was picked up by Roadrunner Records. That honeymoon was over quickly, and the band’s career has been peripatetic since. Famous for the violence of its live shows and squalling, pummeling riffs, the band is likely to incite a frenzy wherever its brand-new tour may take them. (Ben Richardson)

With Brainoil, Neurotoxicity, No Statik, K. Lloyd

8:30 p.m., $16

DNA Lounge

375 11th St., SF

(415) 626-1409

www.dnalounge.com

 

MUSIC

John Grant

After the decade he spent fronting dreamy indie-pop group the Czars, John Grant has since gone on record saying he never really felt all that satisfied with the band’s albums. As crazy as that might sound to Czars fans, Queen of Denmark, his new solo album backed by Texas folk-rockers Midlake, is indeed a markedly personal album — and perhaps the type he wanted to make all along. Grant’s 1970s soft rock-inspired arrangements and rich baritone vocals are excellent; but it’s the emotional vulnerability and snarky humor of his lyrics that really define him as a songwriter who is very much deserving of some more attention. (Landon Moblad)

With Jessica Pratt

8 p.m., $15

Swedish American Hall

2170 Market, SF

(415) 861-5016

www.cafedunord.com

 

MUSIC

Del the Funky Homosapien

The Bay Area’s ambassador of hip-hop, not to the planet but the galaxy and beyond, Del the Funky Homosapien came out of Oakland’s Hieroglyphics crew before lending his unmistakable voice to projects of a stranger variety. A fetish for ginormous words and out-of-this-world concepts culminated in the future blap of 2000’s space jamming album Deltron 3030. A follow-up is supposedly in the can, reportedly ready for release in 2010. At this intimate event, fans will have the opportunity to remind Del that it is mid-December. (Ryan Prendiville)

 With Simple Citizens

Wed/15–Thurs/16, 8 p.m., $30

Yoshi’s San Francisco

1330 Fillmore, SF

(415) 655-5600

www.yoshis.com

 

THURSDAY 16

DANCE

“DANCEfirst! Modernity/Humanity: The Nzoto Installation

Often the very act of preserving an artifact distances it from its daily meanings. The “Art/Object: Recontextualizing African Art” exhibit now gracing the halls of the Museum of the African Diaspora seeks to right this wrong, inserting ancient costumes, tools, and accessories back into the flourishes of life they once accentuated. The integration of ritual and modernity is also the theme of an upcoming MoAD dance performance, The Nzoto Installation, presented by dance-community bridge-building organization see.think.dance, and featuring international performance artist Byb Chanel Bibene using the nzoto (“the body” in Bantu) of dancer groups to meld abstract thought and tradition with motion and emotion you can feel, now. (Caitlin Donohue)

6–9 p.m., free with admission ($5–>$15)

Museum of the African Diaspora

685 Mission, SF

(415) 358-7200

www.moadsf.org MUSIC

 

MUSIC

Om

The demise of Sleep marked a sad day for metal fans, but from the resin-soaked ashes of that vaunted South Bay trio emerged two bands that have done much to cheer them up. The success of Matt Pike and High on Fire is a topic to be considered elsewhere; Om is the order of the day. Founded by Sleep’s bassist and drummer, Al Cisneros and Chris Haikus, the meditative metal outfit has taken advantage of the former’s mellifluous playing to craft songs that are at once crushingly heavy and fuzzily embracing. Cisneros is now paired with new drummer Emil Amos, and they’re prepared to rock you into reverie. (Richardson)

With Lichens, Barn Owl, DJ Britt Govea

8 p.m., $16

Independent

628 Divisadero, SF

(415) 771-1422

www.independentsf.com.

 

FRIDAY 17

THEATER

Mr. Yoowho’s Holiday

In conjunction with Noh Space, Moshe Cohen presents Mr. Yoowho’s Holiday, a story fusing the spirit of adventure with the warmth of the season. Mr. Yoowho embarks on an international journey across geographical borders as well as the borders of the imagination. He meets Taro-kaja, the prototypical spirited trickster hero of Japanese Kyogen Theater, as well as encountering elements of the European circus and Yiddish absurdism. Drawing on aspects of traditional Japanese Noh Theater and Kyogen Theater, Cohen returns to SF after touring extensively through Europe to meld humor, poetry, and absurdity in this heartwarming tale. (Emmaly Wiederholt)

Through Jan. 2, 2011

Preview tonight, 8 p.m., $10

Fri.–Sat., 8 p.m., Sun., 3 p.m., $10–$18

Theatre of Yugen

2840 Mariposa, SF

1-800-838-3006

www.theatreofyugen.org

 

EVENT

“Hubba Hubba Revue’s Christmas Hanukkah Spectacular”

Who will be the next mayor? What will the new year bring? Which corporate Death Star will the WikiLeaks cabal take down next? The Guardian doesn’t have all the answers to these quandaries of the abyss yet — but we sure as sugar have the inside skinny on who will be taking off their clothes at Hubba Hubba Revue’s holiday burlesque spectacular (you’re welcome). To wit: the winner of “best variety act” at Las Vegas’ Burlesque Hall of Fame, Chicago’s Amazing Bendable Poseable Dolls of Doom, and boylesque troupe the Stage-Door Johnnies. Also, don’t miss (yes!) Hubba’s annual visit from the hang-10 Hasids themselves, Jewish surf band Meshugga Beach Party. (Donohue)

9 p.m., $10–$15

DNA Lounge

375 11th St., SF

(415) 626-1409

www.dnalounge.com

 

THEATER

Sweet Can Productions

Combining aerial silks, acrobatics, juggling, contortion, hula hoops, traditional circus, physical theater, dance, and live music, Sweet Can Production’s newest show Candid takes its audience into a charming topsy-turvy world where anything can happen. The limits of human imagination are stretched as mundane objects and everyday life transform into a breathtaking circus. Directed by Joanna Haigood and Wendy Parkman with new music by Eric Oberthaler, lighting designed by Tad Shannon, and performances by Beth Clarke, Natasha Kaluza, Kerri Kresinski, and Matt White, Candid aims to reveal the magic inherent in the ordinary. (Wiederholt)

Through Jan. 9, 2011

Schedule varies (opens tonight, 7 and 9 p.m.)

$15–$60

Dance Mission Theater

3316 24th St., SF

www.sweetcanproductions.com

 

MUSIC

Sub Swara

Bay Area dubstep freaks sometimes forget that the gateway to their bass addiction was a curious mutation of global funk — one that came to prominence in the mid-late ’00’s and mixed Jamaican dread, glitchy electronics, and bhangra flourishes into a heady, invigorating stew. Ground zero for this sound was the excellent Surya Dub party, much missed since its players went off to conquer the world. With a happy rumble, the Surya Dub crew is reuniting at Public Works, teaming up with Bay woofer-killers Slayers Club to bring in New York City duo Sub Swara, keepers of the international bass flame (with a cosmic-funky twist on their latest CD, Triggers). It’ll be a global-eared rumble that reunites seminal Bay influences while leaving you quaking in your Timberlands. (Marke B.)

10 p.m., $10

Public Works

161 Erie, SF

(415) 932-0955

www.publicsf.com

 

MUSIC

“Monsters of Accordion 2010”

The accordion: for many, it’s the runner-up for most annoying musical instrument (after bagpipes). When used outside of polka, zydeco, cumbia, and other “traditional genres” (read: mainstream pop), it has an attention-drawing, anachronistic quality. To rock it, a player must possess a superhuman degree of cool, like They Might Be Giants and, of course, Weird Al Yankovic. To that list add Jason Webley, the howling one-man band and mind behind Monsters of Accordion, known above all for his ability to convert nonbelievers to the squeezebox. (Prendiville)

With Corn Mo, Renee de la Prade, Petrojvic Blasting Co., and Duckmandu

9 p.m., $14

Slim’s

333 11th St., SF

(415) 255-0333

www.slims-sf.com

 

SATURDAY 18

MUSIC

Cyndi Lauper

With her string of recent successes, one could say that new wave chanteuse Cyndi Lauper is back. But that really wouldn’t be accurate — the independent firebrand never really went away. Starting with her smash breakthrough 1983 album She’s So Unusual and the string of hit singles that followed, including “Girls Just Want To Have Fun,” “She Bop,” and “Time After Time,” Lauper has continued to release a variety of music, along with appearing in films and being involved with human rights causes. She comes to the city tonight for an intimate club gig — here’s to hoping she can be persuaded to play “The Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough”! (Sean McCourt)

9 p.m., $65

Independent

628 Divisadero, SF

(415) 771-1422

www.independentsf.com

 

DANCE

Labayen Dance

It’s fun to watch artists who consistently surprise. Enrico Labayen is one of them. For a while, he dropped off the radar — turns out he went home to the Philippines to study native mythologies. When he returned, his first major endeavor became an ambitious Carmina Burana. Now he is taking on the Greeks. Icarus at the Edge of Recession promises to offer a fresh perspective on Daedalus as a CEO and Icarus as a young trader. He is showing this parable of a father sacrificing his son for his own ambition as a work in progress during what he calls a “holiday fun(d)raising event.” (Rita Felciano)

8 p.m., $20 (with pre-show party, 7 p.m., $25)

Garage

975 Howard, SF

(415) 509-3129

www.brownpapertickets.com

 

TUESDAY 21

MUSIC

Danny B. Harvey

Guitar slinger extraordinaire Danny B. Harvey has played with everyone from the Rockats, Nancy Sinatra, and Wanda Jackson to Bow Wow Wow and the Head Cat. This current tour stop finds him teaming up with his friend and “Rockabilly Filly” Rosie Flores. Harvey’s frantic finger-picking and tasty solos are truly a sight to behold live — especially when you look up from watching his fingers dancing on the fret board and see his expression — he often looks as if he’s enjoying a Jack and Coke at the bar, a big grin on his face and giving almost no indication of the difficulty of making the incredible sounds coming out of his guitar. (McCourt)

With Rosie Flores

9 p.m., $12–$15

Hotel Utah

500 Fourth St., SF

(415) 546-6300

www.thehotelutahsaloon.com

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Rep Clock

0

Schedules are for Wed/15–Tues/21 except where noted. Director and year are given when available. Double and triple features are marked with a •. All times are p.m. unless otherwise specified.

ARTISTS’ TELEVISION ACCESS 992 Valencia, SF; www.atasite.org. $3-6. “Videocracy,” works from the film department at City College, Thurs, 7. La Vendedora de Rosas (Gaviria, 1998), Fri, 8. “Other Cinema: New Experimental Works,” Sat, 8:30. “Altered Statehood,” shorts program, Sun, 8.

CASTRO 429 Castro, SF; (415) 621-6120, www.castrotheatre.com. $7.50-12. “Noir City Xmas:” •Remember the Night (Leisen, 1940), Wed, 7:15, and Mr. Soft Touch (Douglas and Levin, 1949), Wed, 9:15. “San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus 21st Annual Home for the Holidays Concert,” Thurs, 8 (this event, $20; tickets at www.sfgmc.org). Tron: Legacy (Kosinski, 2010), Dec 17-23, 1, 4, 7, 9:45 (also Fri/17, 12:01am).

CHRISTOPHER B. SMITH RAFAEL FILM CENTER 1118 Fourth St, San Rafael; (415) 454-1222, www.cafilm.org. $6.50-10.25. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest (Alfredson, 2009), call for dates and times. Inside Job (Ferguson, 2010), call for dates and times. Today’s Special (Kaplan, 2009), call for dates and times. “San Francisco Grand Opera Cinema Series:” La Bohème, Thurs, 7 and Sat, 10am. “Buddhist Film Festival Showcase 2010,” Wed-Thurs. These shows, $12. Remembering Playland (Wyrsch, 2010), Sun, 4:15. Director Tom Wyrsch in person. Ghost Bird (Crocker, 2010), Sun, 6:30.

HUMANIST HALL 390 27th St, Oakl; www.humanisthall.org. $5. The Mind is a Liar and a Whore (Alli, 2003), Wed, 7:30.

OAKS 1875 Solano, Berk; (510) 526-1836. $7. Power Trip: Theatrically Berkeley (Tomeoni), Sat, noon.

PACIFIC FILM ARCHIVE 2575 Bancroft, Berk; (510) 642-5249, www.bampfa.berkeley.edu. $5.50-9.50. Closed until Jan. 13.

PIEDMONT 4186 Piedmont, Oakl; www.landmarktheatres.coom. $8. The Room (Wiseau, 2003), Sat, midnight.

RED VIC 1727 Haight, SF; (415) 668-3994. $6-10. The Triplets of Belleville (Chomet, 2003), Dec 14-15, 7:15, 9:15 (also Dec 15, 2). Vincent: A Life in Color (Burns, 2010), Thurs, 7:15, 9:30. Howl (Epstein and Friedman, 2010), Fri-Sat, 7:15, 9:30 (also Sat, 2, 4). The Room (Wiseau, 2003), Sat, midnight. Seven Samurai (Kurosawa, 1954), Sun-Mon, 7:30 (also Sun, 2). The Nightmare Before Christmas (Selick, 1993), Dec 21-22, 7:15, 9:15 (also Wed, 2).

ROXIE 3117 and 3125 16th St, SF; (415) 863-1087, www.roxie.com. $5-9.75. No Tomorrow (Weisberg and Roth, 2010), Wed, 7, 9:15. Ghost Bird (Crocker, 2010), Thurs, 7, 9. Modus Operandi (Latina, 2010), Fri-Sat, 11.

SAN FRANCISCO MUSEUM OF MODERN ART 151 Third St, SF; www.sfcinema.org. $10. “Nathaniel Dorsky: Winter Light,” Thurs, 7. YERBA BUENA CENTER FOR THE ARTS 701 Mission, SF; (415) 978-2787, www.ybca.org. $6-8. “International Buddhist Film Festival Showcase 2010:” Lucia Rijker: Boxer, Buddhist (Schouten, 2005), Thurs, 7:30; Seeing Searching Being (Burns, 1992-99), Sun, 2. “Go to Hell for the Holidays:” •Night Train to Terror (Schlossberg-Cohen, 1985), Fri, 7, and A Night to Dismember (Wishman, 1983), Fri, 9; Life and Death of a Porno Gang (Djordjevic, 2009), Sat, 7:30.