Beer

The body count

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› le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com

I pushed a peanut shell through a hole in the tabletop. We were outside, upstairs, on a wraparound deck and the left side of me was getting burnt. The right side of him. Hot day …

There were boats. Water. There was a view of the Oakland skyline.

"I had my first lesbian lover," I said, to get his attention. I was tired of talking about snowboarding and soccer, sports, his and hers. I was ready for some he-said-she-said, the good stuff.

"Really?" he said, with the big smile with the perfect teeth.

Our beers were half-empty, the peanut basket half-full. I told my story, watching his face, pushing peanut shells through the many holes in the iron tabletop. I thought they were scattering on the floor below, on the deck, but in fact they were piling up on my skirt.

He dates a lesbian. His name is Ratatat and he has black hair and thick, black, old-fashionable glasses, an Asian Woody Allen or Elvis Costello, only a lot younger than both of them, put together.

He also dates me. Although … as our dates get funner, they get farther apart. And we talk more about who else we’re seeing … Which is fine. Really.

No. Really, I have a bad attitude about polyamorousness. Polyamorless, I call it. Luckily, my bad attitude is in this case trumped by a really very good attitude about the nature of reality. The nature of reality is that it is real. It’s what’s for dinner. No. It’s what we are left with after dinner, the bones, dirty dishes, and in some cases, indigestion.

I have started a kind of a museum of Things Guys Left At My Place Because They Leave In Such A Hurry. See? I’m a realist. In lieu of the return visit, let alone flowers, let alone love, I smoke the rest of their cigarettes and wear their big stinky shirts like a nightie in the morning, with my coffee. It’s a cool twist on cross-dressing, and I love it. I love the smell. I love the way guy-grade cotton feels against my bare skin. One man left a pair of sunglasses and I wore them and loved the way the world was.

But how can I explain all this to Ratatat, who treats me truly like a friend? Who leaves nothing and does come back, who picked me a flower one time …

I can’t! So I gave him the fantasy, the body count, instead: one woman, one man, since last we met. And he gave me his. The ongoing lesbian. A cute girl upstairs. Somebody else …

Besides peanuts, which are on and all over the house, we split an appetizer with our beers: Quinn’s signature, a halved tomato dressed with pesto and piled with shrimp. Perfect for the hot day, a midafternoon snack, and the bayside setting. Place used to be an actual lighthouse! Now it’s a split level, split-themed restaurant, yacht club style downstairs, peanut-littered pub up.

And there really was a pirate sitting near the door when we left, after only one beer apiece. Anyway, he was a salty old-timer with a parrot on his shoulder.

After we walked past him I turned to Ratatat and said, "That guy works for me."

Because he did. I’m a fiction writer.

I gave Ratatat and his flat-tired bicycle a ride home and a hug, then went to be with the children. Then went to be with the chicken. Cakey, who I had successfully cured of broodiness by bringing her to the woods and basically traumatizing her. As I write this, she is kicking leaves and looking for bugs right next to me, a healthy, happy, and functional member of society.

Well, what’s good for the chicken …

I will get on an airplane, which is the scariest thought I can think of. My passport application is all filled out. I forget how long it takes but I got a packet of alphabet pasta in the mail yesterday. While I’m waiting I will nitpick these A’s, B’s and C’s into top-secret international love letters, then eat the evidence.

QUINN’S LIGHTHOUSE

Daily 11:30 a.m.-9 p.m.

1951 Embarcadero East, Oakl.

(510) 536-2050

Full bar

AE/D/MC/V

L.E. Leone’s new book is Big Bend (Sparkle Street Books), a collection of short fiction.

Zazang Korean Noodle

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paulr@sfbg.com

The words "Korean" and "barbecue" might never be woven into an eternal golden braid to compare with Gödel, Escher, and Bach, but they are definitely interwoven, perhaps even fused. When you say you want Korean food, you almost certainly will be understood to mean the kind served at the barbecue joints that line Geary Boulevard in the blocks just east of Park Presidio. These meals begin with a bounty of small dishes — pickled vegetables, bean sprouts, and so forth — before culminating in some kind of meat course in which you do your own grilling on the hibachi in the middle of your table.

There’s nothing wrong with this drill, but if you’re looking for something different yet still want Korean — and don’t want to go upmarket at Namu — what do you do? Why, you go to Za Zang Korean Noodle, of course, which, despite a name that sounds like one of the sounds written out on the old Batman television series when the bad guys were getting it (like biff! bam! boom! and pow!), is a nifty Korean noodle house on an almost invisible stretch of Geary between Divisadero and the Masonic underpass.

Yellow (almost gold!) is a theme here. The restaurant inside is largely done in tones of this cheerful color, and the pickled radishes on their complimentary plate are as pure an example of the hue as I’ve seen outside a box of Crayola crayons. They are like slices of the summer sun as depicted in a grade-school child’s drawing. They’re also mild — though tasty — and in this sense are something of a rarity on a menu otherwise laden with spice-charged possibilities. Perhaps their lone companion in mild-manneredness is the platter of boiled potstickers ($7.55 for a dozen); the cloud-shaped flour pouches have a softness I associate with shumai or other dim sum and are filled with gingery minced pork and chopped scallions. (You can also get them deep-fried, which brings a vegetarian option and a choice of headcounts, either four or eight.)

The noodle courses are, first, big. Just immense, easily enough for two people even if they’re hungry. The noodles themselves are housemade and resemble fresh spaghetti. They turn up in both the soupy dishes (zam pong, udon) and the un-soupy ones. In the second category, I found the spicy gan za zang ($8.95) to be unusually satisfying: a hemispherical bowl the size of a halved canteloupe, filled with noodles and slivered scallions, and a second bowl, smaller and shallower, filled with diced beef and vegetable (mostly eggplant, I guessed) in a thick black-bean, or za zang, sauce. (Hence the restaurant’s name.) Our server’s somewhat garbled advice, as I understood it, was to spoon the beef mixture gradually over the noodles. I did so and was happy, although I also took the occasional spoonful of the beef sauce neat and was just as happy with its dark, slightly fruity heat.

Black-bean paste figures in many of the non-soups, with the main variable being protein: seafood and pork are also offered, there is a flesh-free version, and the beef can be had in non-spicy guise. The wonderful noodles, meanwhile, figure in soups and non-soups alike. And vegetarians will note that all the soups are made with beef broth. This is bad for vegetarianism but good for flavor.

You are unlikely ever to find a more flavorful soup than zam pong ($7.95), which is like a bouillabaisse, only much, much livelier. The beef broth is charged with garlic and red chilis and is absolutely swimming with calamari tentacles, clams, shrimp (still dressed in their shells, making them tastier but a drag to eat), and slivers of onions and green bell peppers. Rice instead of noodles? That’s zam pong bap ($8.95). Udon, the other soup offering, is Japanese in origin and is neither spicy nor available with rice.

The cars hurtling along Geary are terrifying, like jets speeding down a runway en route to the great beyond, but in the slipstream of all that traffic, one can find surprisingly easy parking. The restaurant’s human traffic, meantime, is of the cheerful neighborhood sort: families, young couples, take-out loiterers, perhaps an oddball wearing a woolen beanie even on an eerily warm evening. At dinnertime I would skip the tall glass of complimentary warm tea the server brings. Too tall, too hot, too stimuutf8g — or, as John Madden used to say, boom!

ZAZANG KOREAN NOODLE

Sun.-Thurs., 11:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m.

Fri.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m.

2340 Geary, SF

(415) 447-0655

Beer and wine

AE/MC/V

Noisy, but not too

Wheelchair accessible

Appetite: Swine fever, Alaskan obsession, Whiskey Wednesdays, Dungeness fritters, and more

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As long-time San Francisco resident and writer, I’m passionate about this city and obsessed with exploring its best food-and-drink spots (in all categories), events, and news, in every neighborhood and cuisine type. I have my own personalized itinerary service and monthly food/drink/travel newsletter, The Perfect Spot, and am thrilled to share up-to-the minute news with you from the endless goings-on in our fair city.

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NEW RESTAURANT and BAR OPENINGS

RN74 rolls in on French wheels
Start making reservations now for Michael Mina’s latest — and most affordable? — SF restaurant at the base of the Millennium Tower. RN74is named after Route National 74, which passes through Burgundy, with the focus on, you guessed it: Burgundian pleasures in wine and food. Wine director, Raj Parr, oversees the 80-page, 3000 bottles, 50 by-the-glass wine list (so you know there’ll be many a fine choice), and Chef Jason Berthold, of none other than the French Laundry, prepares an exquisite, reasonably priced ($9-17!) menu with the likes of Smoked Sturgeon Rillettes, Crispy Duck Wings, Pea Tendril Veloute, Chilled Salad of Japanese Big Fin Squid, and Herb-Roasted Lamb Loin. Just opened on Friday for lunch and dinner, it’s the new, downtown impress a date or colleague dining destination.
301 Mission Street (in the Millennium Tower)
415-543-7474
www.michaelmina.net/rn74

Gourmet sandwiches from random sources continues with Pal’s Take Away
Pal’s is located inside a dodgy corner market, Tony’s, at 24th and Hampshire, with sweet, friendly Jeff and David behind the counter making some kick-ass sandwiches and salads, diving into the ever-growing crowd of gourmet food coming from carts, out of garages (Kitchenette) and whatnot. Just opened last Tuesday, Pal’s changing menu includes a banh mi that’s becoming a runaway hit in the first week already: tender, pink/brown beef accented with jalapeno, carrot, onion on a crunchy ACME roll. Vegetarians aren’t left out with options like Full Belly asparagus tossed w/ Meyer lemon and Reggianno, topped with a Riverdog soft-cooked ranch egg on Acme whole wheat bread. Bet you never got that from a corner liquor/grocery store before.
2751 24th Street
ww.palstakeaway.com

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EVENTS

Monday, April 27 – Meatpaper Mag’s Pig Party at Camino in Oakland

We haven’t tired of pig yet… I crave it most days. Meatpaper, food lover’s choice for all things meat, celebrates the launch of Issue Seven: the Pig Issue. Oakland’s Camino is the site of the party with their own Russell Moore, among other great pig chefs, like Ryan Farr and Taylor Boetticher, preparing fresh sausages, roast pork, pig tails, chicharrones, charcuterie, even gourmet corn dogs, plus vegetarian delights for the non-pig eater. Sponsors from Prather Ranch to Trumer Pils get in on the action. Sip cocktails, wine and beer while surveying whole-animal butchery demos from the experts. More details here: www.meatpaper.com/mailings/090413/index.html.
6-9pm, $35
Camino
3917 Grand Avenue, Oakland
NO tickets sold at the door so buy in advance: http://pigparty.eventbrite.com

Sunday, May 3 – Pig-Out Party at Coffee Bar… with screening of Porky’s
Coffee Bar and Ryan Farr’s 4505 Meats host a Pig-Out party to rival all pig parties (have you had enough of the pig yet?) This is one is unique… Mr. Farr gives a butcher demo with salty snacks (including his ever-popular chicharones), while Speakeasy “Big Daddy IPA” and Balletto Winery Pinot flow. 6pm means it’s supper time with a buffet of meats (duh), charred carrots, potato and leek salad, greens and veggies, and the pièce de résistance: Red Waddle Heritage Pig Roasted on a grill and rotisserie. Dessert has to have pig in it, too: bacon, peanut butter chocolate brownies. Being at Coffee Bar means its fabulous coffee and espresso will flow with music from DJ Denizen until movie time. Yes, the whole shebang ends with a wall projection of none other than Porky’s. Need I say more?
3pm – butcher demo, beer, snacks; 6pm Dinner, $35
RSVP: pigoutcoffeebar@gmail.com
Coffee Bar, 1890 Bryant, SF.
www.coffeebar-usa.com

Through May 3 – Special Alaskan tasting menu at Pacific Catch
You don’t see Alaskan tasting menus too often. In fact, I’m hard pressed to remember ever seeing one. Which is why Pacific Catch’s menu this week intrigued. Exec Chef, Chandon Clenard, pays homage to North Pacific seafood in his series of tasting menus, available at the 9th and Irving and Marin (Corte Madera) locations. With “The Last Frontier” menu, there’s a choice of Alaskan King Crab soup or Alaskan halibut skewers to start. Main course is Hickory-smoked salmon with baby bok choy and black rice, and dessert is, what else? Baked Alaska with blackberry ice cream and spiked berries.
$26.95 for three courses
1200 9th Avenue
415-504-6905
www.pacificcatch.com

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DEALS

Whiskey Wednesdays at Fifth Floor
They had me at “whiskey”. Head to the classy, but-not-stuffy Fifth Floor Lounge, upstairs in the Hotel Palomar for Whiskey Wednesdays. The whiskey flights (purely for educational purposes, of course) change weekly with three whiskeys from around the world. Yes, this includes our country’s own beloved bourbons and ryes, along with the scotches, et. al. There’s even "flask service", so bring your flask to fill up. Cocktails for those who don’t want it straight will feature the base ingredient and go for $7. Might as well order Chef Laurent Manrique’s mother’s recipe of duck cassoulet ($12) to go with the brown stuff, which he serves special for Wednesdays.
5pm
12 4th Street
415-348-1555
www.fifthfloorrestaurant.com

ACME Chophouse Happy Hour
There’s lots of activity at AT&T Park lately since baseball season began and many surrounding restaurants and bars are offering special happy hours. ACME is about as convenient as it gets being downstairs from the ballpark, but they’re hoping to give you a reason to come out on non-game days, too. $3 draft beers, $4 wines by the glass or $10 for a half-bottle sounds good enough, but there’s also $5 apps from Iron Chef/James Beard award-winning chef, Traci Des Jardin, like smoky chicken wings, Dungeness fritters or baby-back ribs.
Tuesday-Friday on non-home game days, 4:30-6:30pm
24 Willie Mays Plaza
415-644-0240
www.acmechophouse.com

Dining on dimes

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Dining on dimes

It’s a hard time to be a foodie in San Francisco. It seems as though there have never been more places to eat delicious, creative, innovative food in the Bay Area — nor less money in my wallet to spend at such places. But I’m determined not to let the bad economy ruin all my fun. Or yours. It’s simply that tighter budgets require more careful choices about where and how to indulge. Which is why we’ve put together this season’s FEAST with an eye on getting the most bang for your buck.

Turn the page for ideas about how to stretch one chicken into three fabulous meals, as well as how to splurge at a restaurant without blowing your monetary wad. If you’re going to spend some cash, consider our suggestions for date spots, sandwiches, and sustainably-minded seafood restaurants worth the money. We’ve also compiled a list of our favorite juice stops, New Orlean’s style cocktail pourers, eco-friendly caterers, and sweet shops so you never have to waste a penny at a place that doesn’t match your tastes or your values. And who knows? By the time summer comes along, perhaps the economy will turn around. But if not, there’s nothing to raise your spirits faster than a responsibly-farmed oyster and a cheap happy hour beer.

Staff picks

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L’ARDOISE


“The coq au vin is the best in the city, even though I harbor a sneaking suspicion that the waitstaff enjoys overplaying its French accent.” (Marke B., Senior Editor, Culture and Web)
151 Noe, SF. (415) 437-2600,
www.lardoisesf.com

TOMMY’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT


“So much amazing tequila, my liver hurts just thinking about it.” (Ben Hopfer, Associate Art Director)

5929 Geary, SF. (415) 387-4747, www.tommystequila.com

DUSIT THAI


“The best Thai food in San Francisco.” (Tim Redmond, Executive Editor)

3259 Mission, SF. (415) 826-4639, www.padthaisf.com

CONDUIT


“Great food, wonderful ambiance, and the best bathrooms in town, bar none.” (Steven T. Jones, City Editor)

280 Valencia, SF. (415) 552-5200, www.conduitrestaurant.com

QUINCE


“Pricey, but worth it.” (Cheryl Eddy, Associate Editor, Arts and Entertainment)

1701 Octavia, SF. (415) 775-8500, www.quincerestaurant.com

L’OSTERIA DEL FORNO


“A long, lazy, late lunch or early dinner at this absolutely spectacular overlooked Italian gem in North Beach really steams my meatballs.” (Marke B.)

519 Columbus, SF. (415) 982-1124, www.losteriadelforno.com

ASMARA


“Asmara Restaurant’s heavenly honey wine (tej) — is the perfect compliment to a family-style Ethiopian feast.” (Rebecca Bowe, Reporter)

5020 Telegraph, Oakl. (510) 547-5100, www.asmararestaurant.com

BI-RITE MARKET

“Fra’Mani salami sandwich FTW!” (Eddy)

3639 18th St., SF. (415) 241-9760, www.biritemarket.com

KITCHENETTE SF


“The best banh mi (tangerine/beer shredded pork) and Korean tacos I’ll ever eat out of a garage.” (Virginia Miller, Human Resources Manager)

958 Illinois, SF. www.kitchenettesf.com

MINH’S GARDEN


“What I like about Minh: his red cardigans, his casual grace, and his restaurant’s fried spring rolls (better than more expensive ones anywhere) and special coconut chicken curry.” (Johnny Ray Huston, Arts and Entertainment Editor)

208 Clement, SF. (415) 751-8211

ADESSO


“Balanced, exquisite cocktails with free all-you-can-eat gourmet Italian bites make for the best Happy Hour around.” (Miller)

4395 Piedmont, Oakl. (510) 601-0305

ZEITGEIST


“If you don’t already know about the Zeit, don’t come. I need your seat.” (Hopfer)

199 Valencia, SF. (415) 255-7505

TAKARA SAKE FACTORY


“This is a hidden East Bay gem where you can sample all varieties of sake and learn how they’re made.” (Bowe)

708 Addison, Berk. (510) 540-8250, www.takarasake.com

For more staff picks, visit our
Pixel Vision blog.

Appetite: Hot tamales, banana cookies, $1 martinis, and more

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Hot Tamales on Sun/26. See “Events” below

As long-time San Francisco resident and writer, I’m passionate about this city and obsessed with exploring its best food-and-drink spots, events and news, in every neighborhood and cuisine type. I have my own personalized itinerary service and monthly food/drink/travel newsletter, The Perfect Spot, and am thrilled to share up-to-the minute news with you from the endless goings-on in our fair city. View the previous installment of Appetite here.

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NEW OPENINGS

Anthony’s Cookies satisfies your cookie craving all day long
On the same Mission block as Suriya Thai (R.I.P.), is a new cookie kitchen that can help assuage the loss of my favorite Thai. Anthony (who has spent over 10 years perfecting his craft) and his staff give a friendly welcome as they bake, for now offering a half dozen cookies for $5, or $9.25 a dozen, eventually selling them individually. On the blessedly smaller side, they’re warm and about as homemade tasting as they smell. There’s toffee chip, banana (like banana bread in cookie form), cinnamon sugar, whole-wheat oatmeal cranberry, gooey chocolate chip, and maybe my favorite? Cookies and cream. Tastes like home.
1417 Valencia, SF
415-655-9834
www.anthonyscookies.com

Moussy’s brings French cooking classes, movies and Petit Dejeuner to Nob Hill/Polk Gulch
Downstairs from Alliance Francaise, there’s a new stop pre or post AF’s French language classes and film screenings: Moussy’s, an intimate, candlelit cafe for a morning croissant and cappuccino, or lunch time respite, serving salads, baked brie, and pot pies. They’ll soon be offering French cooking classes and film nights, too, ensuring that foodies, expats, bohemian artists, poets and aspiring cooks have a true Parisian cafe hangout.
1345 Bush, SF.
415-441-1802
www.moussys.com

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EVENTS

April 26 – Tamales (and margaritas) By the Bay at Fort Mason
Tamale lovers come out en masse to Fort Mason for Tamales By the Bay. Sample tamales and salsas from Nor Cal’s best in styles from Oaxacan, Yucatecan, Salvadoran to Chilean, and vendors like La Cocina and Rancho Gordo. Margarita Gladiators will be battling it out for best margarita, which you can, of course, also sample, while grooving to live music, demos and a raffle of prizes from JetBlue tix to a bottle of Partida Elegante Extra Añejo Tequila. Arriba!
12-4:30pm, $40
Fort Mason Center, Landmark Building A
Buchanan Street at Marina Boulevard
415-695-9296
www.tamalesbythebay.com

April 27 – Ministry of Rum Festival comes to Hangar One
Consider it a pre-Summer rum fest… Hangar One/St. George’s Distillery, home to beloved Hangar One vodkas and St. George’s incomparable spirits, is the hangar island site for all things rum at SF’s Ministry of Rum Fest. Vendors like Leblon, El Dorado, St. Bart’s and Ron Barcelo educate on their sugar cane spirits, while primo Bay Area mixologists like Martin Cate, founder of Forbidden Island Tiki Lounge, Erik Adkins from Heaven’s Dog, Thad Vogler of Bar Agricole, Brooke Arthur of Range, and Duggan McDonnell of Cantina, showcase rum-based cocktail creations. There’s cheese pairings and door prizes to boot. Though plenty of free parking can be had at the distillery, those on foot or drinking (wait, won’t that be everyone?), are given rides with Bonjour Transportation from Oakland’s 12th St. BART station to the distillery continuously from 6-9pm, $50
2601 Monarch Street, Alameda
www.ministryofrum.com/sf2009.php

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DEALS
Hookah Happy Hours at Sens
In Embarcadero Center 4, spacious Sens restaurant, with regal Bay Bridge and Ferry Building views, started a Hookah Happy Hour for a weekday smoke along with discounted cocktails, wine and beer. For $15, you’ll have your own hookah set up on the patio with choice of apple, strawberry or peach tobacco, so you can puff away the twilight hours.
Monday-Friday 3:30-7:30pm, $15 per person
4 Embarcadero Center
415-362-0645
www.sens-sf.com

$1 Martini Lunch at Palio D’Asti
Palio D’Asti makes it WAY too easy to forget economic (or other) troubles with $1 martinis during weekday lunch. They shake up a martini with your choice of Stoli Vodka or Hendrick’s Gin, so order a Pizza d’Asti (with shaved asparagus, fontina Val d’Aosta cheese and thyme) or Agnolotti di Carciofi (artichoke and mascarpone-filled ravioli with sage and sweet onion ragout) and drink up!
Monday-Friday Lunch
640 Sacramento St.
415-395-9800
www.paliodasti.com

Three course meal at Michael Mina for $55
Michael Mina is special occasion dining (for most of us, anyway) at well over $100 a person, but they’ve jumped into the "specials" pool with an EARLY pre-theatre dining menu available until 6pm, plus a new lounge menu available all night. The first is three courses for $55, offering Mina classics like Ahi Tuna Tartare and unparalleled Lobster Pot Pie (this Mina staple is decadently good), and only $20 extra for three wine pairings from their award-winning list. The lounge menu includes Mina’s playful Lobster Corn Dogs as well as the Lobster Pot Pie, and cocktails so good, they alone are worth a visit.
Tuesday-Saturday, before 6pm
335 Powell Street
415-397-9222
www.michaelmina.net

Beer Fest blues? Wash ’em down …

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By Molly Freedenberg

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It’s Beer Fest time again, which means those lucky enough to have scored tickets to the always sold-out event are prepping their drinking pants for three hours of madness — and those who’ll miss the affair are prepping to, well, drip tears into their (non-festival-acquired) beers. We can’t blame their lachrymosity. The festival features more than 300 varieties from a mind-boggling number of breweries and brewpubs, from locals like Anchor Steam to internationals like Guinness. Then there are the hard ciders and nonalcoholic options. Oh, and the food from the city’s best restaurants. And a commemorative stein to use for tasting and then take home. It’s enough to make a beer fan weep like the condensation on an ice-cold pilsner glass.

We’re sorry to say there’s not much we can do for the people who don’t already have tickets — but we can recommend ways to ease the pain. How about staging your own tasting? Pick up a variety of ales, lagers, pilsners, and more from the dizzying selections at City Beer Store (1186 Folsom, SF. 415-503-1033, www.citybeerstore.com), Healthy Spirits (2299 15th St., SF. 415-255-0610, healthy-spirits.blogspot.com), or New Star-Ell Liquor (501 Divisadero, SF. 415-567-7900). Or let the experts choose unusual, exciting Belgian varieties for you at La Trappe (800 Greenwich, SF. 415-440-8727, www.latrappecafe.com), Monk’s Kettle (3141 16th St., SF. 415-865-9523, www.monkskettle.com), or the Trappist (460 Eighth St., Oakl. 510-238-8900, www.thetrappist.com). Granted, these options aren’t the Beer Fest, but they’re all pretty fantastic as alternatives go. And remember, there’s always next year.

SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL BEER FESTIVAL 7-10 p.m. $60. Festival Pavilion, Fort Mason, SF

www.sfbeerfest.com

Splurge and save

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We often find ourselves at a crossroads between what we want to eat and what we can afford to eat. I want champagne and caviar, but I settle for beer and a tuna sandwich. I want stuffed quail, but I buy a rotisserie chicken. Given the economy, there is something about splurging on food that seems almost inappropriate. These are uncertain times, when everyone is trying to save money and even the most extravagant are keeping an eye on the size of their wallets. In the hierarchy of oxymorons, "cost-effective splurge" ranks up there with Microsoft Works, compassionate conservative, and Gov. Schwarzenegger.

We live in a city where the average meal cost is $38.70, according to the most recent Zagat survey, and the price of a splurge can land well into the three digits. Even so, treating yourself to good food doesn’t necessarily mean an orgy of excessive expenditure. And if you spend your money wisely, you’ll find that even in a city as expensive as ours, great dining deals can be found — even if your cravings are more Niman Ranch and your budget more Oscar Meyer. The following are some tips on how to get the most out of your money when you treat yourself to a gourmet meal on the town.

1. BYOB. The cardinal rule of smart splurging is to bring your own alcohol. Alcohol has a notoriously exorbitant mark-up at restaurants, but some restaurants allow you to BYOB for a small corkage fee or, even better, for free. Anchor Oyster Bar (579 Castro, SF. 415-431-3990, www.anchoroysterbar.com), Indigo (687 McAllister, SF. 415-673-9353, www.indigorestaurant.com), and PlumpJack Cafe (3127 Fillmore, SF. 415-563-4755, www.plumpjack.com) never charge corkage. Some restaurants will comp corkage one or more nights of the week. Laiola (2031 Chestnut, SF. 415-346-5641, www.laiola.com) has free corkage on Mondays, Zazie (941 Cole, SF. 415-564-5332, www.zaziesf.com) on Tuesdays, and Alamo Square Seafood Grill (803 Fillmore, SF. 415-440-2828, www.alamosquareseafoodgrill.com) on Wednesdays.

2. Parlay happy hour. Bars and restaurants regularly offer great deals in that dead-zone between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m., a time I fondly refer to as "lunchtime." At Andalu (3198 16th St., SF. 415-621-2211), Tuesday happy hour means $1 ahi tuna tacos. At Olive, (743 Larkin, SF. 415-776-9814, www.olive-sf.com) drink a perfectly mixed, classic martini for $5 on weekdays, followed by a $7 pizza large enough to split with friends. And don’t forget the tastiest of all happy hours: oysters! Happy hour oysters are $1 each at Woodhouse Fish Company (2073 Market, SF. 415-437-2722, www.woodhousefish.com) on Tuesdays, at Hog Island Oyster Company (1 Ferry Bldg, SF. 415-391-7117, www.hogislandoysters.com) on Mondays and Thursdays, and at Waterbar (399 The Embarcadero, SF. 415-284-9922, www.waterbarsf.com) on weekdays before 6pm.

3. Explore specials. Restaurants are feeling the economic downturn just as much as we are, and to usher in customers, many been offering tempting and reasonable "recession specials". Case in point: on Sunday through Thursday nights, Luna Park (694 Valencia, SF. 415-553-8584, www.lunaparksf.com) currently offers a rotating "blue plate special" priced from $10 to $12, with accompanying drink specials for $5.

4. Decide ahead. Most restaurants have online menus, and if you choose what you want before you get to the restaurant, you’ll prevent yourself from making impulse orders at the last minute.

5. Go prix fixe. At many restaurants, you can eat a delicious three-course meal for under $25 if you order off the prix fixe menu. Baker Street Bistro (2953 Baker, SF. 415-931-1475, www.bakerstbistro.com) offers a popular three course prix fixe dinner menu that includes soup, chef’s choice of an entree, and any dessert for $14.50. At Pisces (3414 Judah, SF. 415-564-2233, www.greenopia.com), start off with an organic green salad, followed by Muscovy duck leg with pear compote, and end with a crème brulée, all for $23.

6. Try lunch. According to Zagat’s San Francisco Dining Deals Guide, lunch items are generally 25 percent to 30 percent less expensive than dinner items, even if both menus are exactly the same.

7. Take a class. Give a man a fish taco and he’ll eat for a day. Teach him how to sauté a whitefish and make his own fish taco with mango salsa, and he’ll eat well for the rest of his life, plus impress his friends. Emily Dellas (www.emilydellas.com) at First Class Cooking, teaches three-course cooking classes out of her beautiful SoMa studio for $55, which covers all the ingredients. Post-cooking, you’ll sit down and eat the gourmet goodies you learned to make.

8. Go ethnic. Dining at ethnic restaurants is a great way to eat sumptuously without spending every penny in your pocket, since hole-in-the-wall places are almost always better than the expensive versions. Shalimar (532 Jones, SF. 415-776-4642, www.shalimarsf.com) is easily one of the best Indian restaurants in San Francisco, and most entrees on the menu are under $5 (BYOB). With prices like that, you can justify heading up the street afterward to The Hidden Vine (620 Post, SF. 415-674-3567, www.thehiddenvine.com) for some chocolate truffles and a glass of wine.

5 Great Sandwiches

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Tourists may flood into our city each year just to eat bread, but we locals know that bread tastes a whole lot better if you make it into a sandwich. A good sandwich can cure a hangover, elevate a bad mood, decrease boredom, increase likeability, boost physical performance, raise your appeal to the opposite sex, hone your intellect, enhance your memory, and improve your personality — really, it’s shocking how little a sandwich can’t do. I could wax poetic until 2012 about the merits of two pieces of bread separated by edible fillings, but I believe my stomach says it best when it, quite simply, growls.

ATOMIC SUB AT SUBMARINE CENTER


I don’t know what kind of sandwich voodoo they practice at Submarine Center in West Portal, but their subs are so yummy I’ve decided not to question it. For nearly 30 years, Submarine Center has made some of the best — and most enormous — hot subs in SF. Their gargantuan Atomic Sub is one of the few sandwiches in the world that could probably shoot down a military aircraft if blasted out of a bazooka. A beautiful symphony of ingredients, the Atomic Sub features toasted white French bread, hot pastrami, hot ham, hot roast beef, lettuce, tomato, fiery jalapeños, onions, mayo, and an unexpected grace note of piquant Italian dressing. The fact that they’ll put crushed rather than cubed ice in your Coke is just icing (ha ha) on the cake.

820 Ulloa, SF. (415) 564-1455, www.submarinecenter.com

GRILLED CHEESE AT BLUE BARN GOURMET


Why offer just one type of grilled cheese sandwich when you can offer six? Blue Barn Gourmet, a rustic café housed in a barn (you can’t miss it) in the Marina District, answers this important philosophical question by giving the venerable grilled cheese its own special menu. The apotheosis of the grilled cheese has never looked so heavenly. Brie d’affinois, provolone, white cheddar, manchego, Jarlsberg and Gruyère, or mozzarella burratta — whatever the craving, Blue Barn aims to nurse that grilled cheese fever. Our favorite is the simple and effective cheddar panini, a textbook on proper sandwich- making written on pages of black forest ham, white cheddar, and honey mustard and bound with two slices of freshly baked sourdough. This is Velveeta on Wonderbread all grown up.

2105 Chestnut, SF. (415) 441-3232, www.bluebarngourmet.com

SHRIMP PO’BOY AT YATS’ IN JACK’S CLUB


It’s comforting to know, before diving into the behemoth fried shrimp po’boy sandwich at Yats’, that San Francisco General Hospital is across the street. It’s still unclear why Jack’s, a humble Potrero District dive bar, made the decision to start serving authentic N’awlins style po’boys, but since that decision was made, we’ve all benefited. Featuring real Louisiana French bread shipped from the Leidenheimer Bakery in NoLA, this mountain of fried shrimp snow-capped with mayonnaise is so delicious it’s worth the risk to your heart. You won’t get your three-to-five daily servings of veggies, but if you feel guilty, they’ll readily give you extra lettuce and tomato. Finish your meal with a thick slab of cornbread and a beer or three. Your soul will thank you, even if your arteries don’t.

2545 24th St., SF. (415) 282-8906, www.whereyats.com

MEATLESS MIKE AT IKE’S PLACE


For the meatball fan who likes everything about meatballs except for the meat, the Meatless Mike sandwich at the popular sandwich shop Ike’s Place will happily satisfy that craven need for animal protein, sans animal. Tasty ground soy protein "meatballs" are thickly slathered in marinara and Ike’s own house-made garlic aioli ("dirty sauce") and topped generously with pepper Jack. Served on a toasty Dutch crunch roll, it’s so good that your next sandwich is on me if you aren’t convinced it tastes as good — if not better — than real meat. Instead of eating your sando on the sidewalk and using up a roll of napkins, eat in Dolores Park around the corner and wipe your hands on the grass. So gooey, messy, and delicious, you’ll proudly wear that dirty sauce stain running down the front of your shirt as if it were a gold medal.

3506 16th St., SF. (415) 553-6888, www.ilikeikesplace.com

FRESH, SMOKED SALMON SANDWICH AT THE SENTINEL


A sandwich so elegant, it’s like the Lawrence Olivier of sandwiches. Fresh baked wild salmon topped with a layer of smoked salmon, with fennel, dill, and a sheath of iceberg lettuce on a soft roll, this sandwich is thoughtful and deliberate in its approach to taste and texture. It might sound fancy, but don’t confuse this sandwich for a snob. At $8.50, you get a bang for your buck. "The Sentinel" is an imposing name for a SoMa sandwich stand that offers no seating, let alone a bathroom, but like Thomas the Tank Engine, this tiny place means serious business. Owned and operated by chef Dennis Leary of Canteen — who will personally wrap your sandwich for you — these sandwiches work so hard at being good it makes other sandwiches look like lazy bums in comparison.

37 New Montgomery, SF. (415) 284-9960, www.thesentinelsf.com

Angels

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› le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com

CHEAP EATS Not even duck soup can save me now. The children I put to sleep … they want stories.

“I had a black eye,” I began, “a swollen, purple nose, and tears streaming down my face.” I was lying on my back on the floor in the dark, next to their bunk beds.

“No no no,” the voice on top said. “Make one up this time.”

“When I was a little girl,” I began, as I always do when I’m making one up.

The voice of the bottom bunk interrupted. “In this one make the fox eat the chicken.”

“No no no,” said the voice on top. “Make one up where the chicken eats the fox.” He laughed his angelically evil laugh.

“Yeah!” she said, laughing hers. “Yeah, where — ”

“This story doesn’t have any chickens in it,” I said.

The silence was spectacular, my audience mine. I promised the usual: that if neither one said another single word, from that moment on, I would stay right there in the room with them when the story was over, until everyone was asleep. I said that in any case I would see them in the morning, and if anyone had any questions or comments we would discuss them over pancakes. “But if you want me to stay in the room right now,” I said, “you have to put your heads on your pillows, close your eyes, and just listen.”

This they did, the sweeties, but Top Bunk, being a little too eager to please, overshot the pillow and bounced his head off the headboard, necessitating an ice pack. When I came back from the kitchen, Bottom Bunk was cold and wanted me to snuggle with her.

The story I told, finally, from the floor, once everyone was properly iced and snuggled and re-sworn to silence, started with “When I was a little girl, between your age and yours,” and ended last night at the International Terminal of the San Francisco Airport.

In between there was plenty of time for two little children to fall asleep, wake up, go to school, grow into adults, and surrender to the cold, stark reality of make-believe, or — who knows — maybe even experience, just once, the upending shock of true, fiery, electric, and impossible love, the kind where whole worlds, not just bodies, collide.

Kids aren’t angels. They’re kids. They kept their heads on their pillows, their eyes presumably closed, and bravely just breathed. Then afterward I could hear their wheels spinning, the little coughs and sniffs, restless repositioning of arms and legs.

Their questions went without saying, but I knew what they would be, and had marked them all, along the way, for later, for morning, for pancakes …

What does pneumonia feel like? What’s an exchange student? Oxygen tent? How can duck soup taste so dark and good and still be medicine? And why couldn’t you finish it? Can you go to jail for stealing a roll of toilet paper from a ladies room? What does Fung Lum mean? Can people really fly higher than airplanes? If you liked the same stuff and never wanted to stop playing together, why did you stop? How come we wish on stars but not the moon?

Adults aren’t angels. The dishes needed done, the counters wiped, and the kitchen floor swept. It was garbage night. I hadn’t slept since Sunday, bathed since Monday, or changed my clothes since Tuesday. I’d cancelled meetings, missed deadlines, left work early, and concocted a really very unforgivable dinner that no one, not even parents, could quite fathom. That was Wednesday. On Thursday they ordered pizza.

And I lay on the kids’ room floor long after they’d both spun down into differently delicious dreams, forgetting every single thing except and until pancakes. Awake as always, as low, loved, and lonely as the kid-beaten, bent-tailed, poopy-butt cat curled up next to me, I lay with my black eye and almost-broken nose, tears brining my crows feet and basting my ears, thinking soft fingers on faces and wondering how in the world I would answer the one about the moon.

Fung Lum Restaurant

SFO International Terminal, SF

(650) 821-8282

Beer & wine

AE/D/MC/V

L.E. Leone’s new book is Big Bend (Sparkle Street Books), a collection of short fiction.

Carolina blues

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cheryl@sfbg.com

Ramin Bahrani is a young filmmaker who’s beloved by critics and whatever arthouse-type audiences have been lucky enough to catch his work, thus far 2005’s Man Push Cart and 2007’s Chop Shop. Born in America to Iranian parents, Bahrani was educated at Columbia University and set both of those films — minimalist marvels that racked up kudos galore at global fests — in New York City. His latest, Goodbye Solo, shifts from gritty NY to depressed Winston-Salem, N.C., where Bahrani was raised. Winston-Salem is home to Wake Forest University, Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, and RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company; it’s also where Bahrani met the real-life characters who inspired Solo‘s tale of an elderly Southerner, William (Red West) who reluctantly befriends the Senegalese cab driver, Solo (Souléymane Sy Savané), who regularly shuttles him around town.

In the film’s first scene — which really begins mid-scene, as if the camera just happened to be turned on at an unspecified moment — Solo has laughingly just agreed to take William to the mountain hamlet of Blowing Rock in two weeks’ time. As becomes increasingly clear, it’s a two-hour trip from which William does not plan to return. Solo, who dreams of being a flight attendant despite the disapproval of his hugely pregnant wife (mother to his feisty nine-year-old stepdaughter), reaches out to the lonely William for reasons he doesn’t quite understand. For his part, William would prefer to be left alone as he quietly ties up his affairs, though he does begrudgingly allow Solo to bunk down in his motel room when Solo’s career aspirations cause a marital rift.

West, a high school pal of Elvis Presley and a member of Presley’s Memphis Mafia (until Elvis: What Happened?, a 1977 tell-all co-written with other posse members), was a stunt player during the King’s Hollywood years. (As a big-screen presence, West is perhaps most recognizable as one of Patrick Swayze’s small-town allies in 1989’s immortal Road House.) His William is gruffly taciturn, with a mournful aura that suggests a past full of transgressions and a present choked with regrets.

By contrast, Solo is an ebullient force, working hard and hustling harder to get ahead. He takes to William immediately, dubbing the older man "Big Dog" and convincing him to ride around with him and even kick back with a beer at the local pool joint. It’s only when he interferes with William’s Blowing Rock plans that he understand the difficult choice he’ll have to make, should he want to become the friend William truly needs.

Hollywood films about aging are generally sappy, preachy, and stuffed with cringe-inducing scenes of distinguished actors skydiving (see: 2007’s The Bucket List). Not only does Goodbye Solo approach the subject with dignity, it balances out the grimmer William plot with Solo’s optimistic embrace of everything in his life. Realism, with naturalistic acting and locations, is Bahrani’s technical gift. Along with co-scriptwriter Baharez Azimi, he’s also able to hew giant, honest emotions from tiny moments and seemingly ordinary situations.


GOODBYE SOLO opens Fri/17 in Bay Area theaters.

Grand Pu Bah

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You might think, with today’s endless parade of television cooking shows, that the dining public’s appetite for a theatrical restaurant experience might be whetted. But mostly this does not seem to be the case. Oh, we have plenty of display kitchens, and soufflés finished tableside, and occasionally you might happen upon on a cheese cart, or a foie gras or champagne cart. Yet the typical restaurant experience is notably slim on any actual culinary drama, unless something goes dreadfully wrong: a steak burned, a chicken paillard undercooked, a tray of dirty dishes dropped.

Then there might be a scene, with some lively dialogue. But this doesn’t happen often. The usual course of events is that food is ordered and, later, brought, ready to eat. If your restaurant has a display kitchen, you might have caught a glimpse of line cooks doing something or other, but the likelihood is that you wouldn’t be able to figure out what they were up to, and almost certainly you would have no way of knowing whose plate they were working on.

Imagine my delight, then, when the chicken volcano ($19) at Grand Pu Bah, an 18-month-old Thai restaurant near the Concourse Exhibition Center at Eighth and Brannan streets, turned out to be almost as exciting as a high school science experiment. The roasted bird arrived, still mounted on its upright roaster. The server, after muttering a few cautionary words (or perhaps a prayer), emptied a small tumbler of some kind of liquor over the chicken (actually a game hen) — I thought I heard “151” and “tequila” — lit a match, and set my dinner gloriously ablaze. He did not say Opa!, as the Greeks do when lighting saganaki cheese on fire, but the omission did not matter, because the hen burned a beautiful, steady, Bunsen-burner blue for seconds that might have stretched into a minute.

When the flame finally died out, the bird had a crisp-crinkly golden skin as impressive as that of any roast chicken in town. Even if the dish had been bad, I would have said nothing, having enjoyed the show (and discreetly warmed my hands). But the meat was tender and moist, the accompanying roasted cauliflower florets and potato quarters tasty (despite not being torched), and the ramekins of mysterious dipping sauces (one red, the other neatly divided between red and green by a bisecting diagonal, like a flag) welcome. Even good chicken benefits from a bit of extra help. My only complaint: the hen was awkward to eat. The server, having kindled his blue blaze and departed, did not return to lift the finished item from its perch. Since I couldn’t see a graceful way to do it, I just hacked away as discreetly as possible while thinking there must be a more elegant way.

Elegance, interestingly, otherwise pervades Grand Pu Bah. Despite the silly name, the restaurant is surely among the most stylish Thai places in the city and is, really, stylish by any standard. The space, which spreads away from the entrance like a baseball diamond folding out from home plate, includes a handsomely backlit bar, walls textured with what appear to be wood cuttings and offset bricks, and paper lamps that hang from the ceiling like giant porcini stems being air-cured for some kind of mushroom prosciutto. The overall flavor of the design suggests a contemporary California restaurant, and indeed executive chef Teerapong Khantawisut’s menu emphasizes “local and seasonal ingredients.” At some point will this be required by law?

The menu offers “Thai beach cuisine” in the “family style” — sharing is encouraged — and includes a raw bar (with oysters and sashimi), a conventional array of appetizers, soups, salads, and main courses, and a large collection of shareable plates grouped under the rubric “street food.” Why the chicken volcano should have been slotted in here isn’t obvious; it’s hardly street food and not all that shareable.

Some of the other offerings here spread themselves around the table much more easily: sizzling spicy beef pad cha ($18), for instance, strips of flank steak tossed with slivers of bell pepper and fresh chile and cubes of Thai eggplant and electrified by kaffir lime leaf and wild ginger. For a slightly sweeter tack, there’s roasted duck in a broad-shouldered but well-behaved coconut-red curry sauce fructified by pineapple chunks, lychee nuts, grapes, and tomato quarters. (Tomato is a fruit, don’t forget!)

And, of course, appetizers and salads are shareable, even if they’re not marked that way. Sizzling spicy prawns ($10) were indeed sizzling — they arrived, like fajitas, on a hot cast-iron platter — and were souped up with chiles, cilantro, lemongrass, and lime. I liked the chunked taro root added as ballast to fresh rolls ($8), otherwise filled with a traditional jumble of tofu, basil, cilantro, and cucumber; the root meat was both creamy and weighty. A similarly moderating influence would have benefited the seafood salad ($14), which was a kind of southeast Asian caesar salad — romaine hearts tossed with prawns, scallops, and calamari — but finished with a spicy lime vinaigrette that was the spiciest vinaigrette I’ve ever had, including my own, and George likes spicy chicken. It isn’t every day you come across a salad that’s almost too hot to eat. This one had me panting like a dog on a blazing August afternoon.

We laughed, we shared, we panted, we thought the dessert menu was a little perfunctory and was the one dimension in which Grand Pu Bah is more Thai than California. Fried bananas ($8) come with beer ice cream — weird, slightly sharp but acceptable. And yet: never again. The beer is Singha, which is always good and is at its best when icy cold, not as actual ice.

GRAND PU BAH
Mon.-Fri., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.,
Sat.-Sun., 5-10 p.m
88 Division, SF
(415) 255-8188/9
www.grandpubahrestaurant.com
Full bar
AE/DS/MC/V
Loud
Wheelchair accessible

Appetite: Free pancakes, Lower Haight French, Little Skillet, twice the Woodhouse, and more

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Farmerbrown’s leaps from the frying pan into Little Skillet

As long-time San Francisco resident and writer, I’m passionate about this city and obsessed with exploring its best food-and-drink spots, events and news, in every neighborhood and cuisine type. I have my own personalized itinerary service and monthly food/drink/travel newsletter, The Perfect Spot, and am thrilled to share up-to-the minute news with you from the endless goings-on in our fair city.

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NEW RESTAURANT OPENINGS

Little Skillet: Chicken & Waffles from a walk-up alley window in SoMa
Farmerbrown’s is about to open Little Skillet in a SoMa alley at 330 Ritch. It’s a walk-up window offering morning pleasures like biscuit sandwiches loaded with cheese, egg, housemade sausage or bacon, plus Oyster Po’Boys, and one of my favorites in comfort food: Chicken and waffles (from Petaluma Poultry chickens) for breakfast and lunch. Lucky, those who work nearby! Cento, neighboring alley Blue Bottle coffee-source, also sells box lunches of Little Skillet’s food. Initial hours are supposed to be Monday–Friday, 8am–3pm, open later as baseball season progresses. No strikes here!
330 Ritch
415-777-2777
www.littleskilletsf.com

Woodhouse Fish Co… Part Deux
When I want a Crab Salad (aka mountain of fresh crabmeat) with fresh lemons, Anchor Steam-battered Fish & Chips or a buttery Lobster Roll without waiting in line at the great Swan Oyster or paying Waterbar prices, Woodhouse Fish Co. fits the bill perfectly. Old seafaring movies on the wall, like 1935’s “Mutiny on the Bounty”, pair nicely with hanging squids and tackle. Up till now, it’s been the Castro locale but with a brand new, larger space on Fillmore, there’s more than one way to assuage New England seafood hankerings.
1914 Fillmore Street
415-437-2722
www.woodhousefish.com

Bistro Saint Germain delivers French flair to Lower Haight
Le P’tit Laurent owner, Laurent Legendre, with chef Eliseo Soto Dimos, debuted Parisian bistro fare to Lower Haight this weekend with Bistro Saint Germain. If you want a change of pace from Lower Haight’s curry houses and sandwich shops, here you can dine on French classics like bistro-style mussels, salads, escargots and boeuf bourguignon. Legendre makes quick friends in the ‘hood by offering Le P’tit’s popular steal of a prix-fixe: 3-courses for $19.95, Sunday through Thursday.
518 Haight Street
415-626-6262

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WINE COUNTRY OPENINGS

Napa’s new green winery from Plumpjack: Cade Winery
Think what you will of our Mayor and his Plumpjack enterprise, it doesn’t hurt that Plumpjack, Gavin and Gordon Getty (helps to have friends with connections), opened an out-of-the-way winery for your next day trip to Napa. Impress friends with an intriguing drive up Howell Mountain to new Cade Winery, a solar powered, green winery with cave tours and lush, hillside views. After a tour, sip a glass of wine by roaring fireplaces (if it’s chilly) or rushing waterfalls overlooking the Valley on brilliant Wine Country days. It’s appointment-only for a tour or tasting (prices vary) which means you have to plan ahead, but it’ll keep out the tour bus riff-raff.
360 Howell Mountain Road South
Angwin CA, 94508
707-965-2746
www.cadewinery.com

neela0409a.jpg
Neely welcomes you to Napa

Bollywood and Indian flavors come to Napa
Neela Paniz, cookbook author and Indian chef, spices up downtown Napa with something it doesn’t have: an Indian restaurant. From Chota Haazari (starters) to Haazari (mains) and Mitha (desserts), Neela’s certainly has a California fresh, local touch (who doesn’t these days?) to home-style recipes like mini dosas with mango chutney, curries, tandoor Cornish hen and Lasoon Jhinga (shrimp with garlic, green chiles and mustard seeds). The plan is to have Bollywood music videos liven up the bar as you down a Kingfisher beer or glass of wine (it is, after all, Napa).
975 Clinton Avenue
Napa, CA 94559
707-226-9988
www.neelasnapa.com

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DEALS

A week full of deals at Cassis Restaurant
Cassis Restaurant, a couple blocks off Fillmore Street, does right by French bistro classics like Pissaladiere (Nicoise Carmelized Onion Tart), with service that’s charming, attentive, and oh, so French. Their weekly deals are many… and hard to resist. First, the bar’s happy hour (5:30–6:30pm) has two-for-one beers plus discounted wines and cocktails. Bring-A-Friend-Tuesdays means 15% off your total food and drink bill with a table of four or more (assuming those are friends you brought, right?) Wine Wednesdays offers no corkage (a two bottle max) or if you decide to buy a bottle off the menu, it’s 25% off. Sweet Thursdays is for the sweet-tooth: order two entrees, get two-for-one desserts. Only caveat? You can’t combine with the $25 Early Dinner Special (Sun-Thu, 5:30-7pm, 3-course prix-fixe).
2101 Sutter Street
415-440-4500
www.restaurantcassis.com

Free pancake Saturdays once a month at El Rio
El Rio is one generous bar to serve free pancakes from the griddle every third Saturday of the month. Further cool points won by calling it “Rock Softly and Carry a Big Spatula“. Curing all that ails after Friday night, breakfast is kindly served at 1pm, so after you’ve rolled out of bed and wandered over, ease into wakefulness with soft rock and hot flapjacks. Wear the “funkiest kitchen couture” and you could win their Golden Apron honors. With a free meal, it’s easy to feed the tradition with generous tips.
Free
3rd Saturdays, 1-3pm
3158 Mission Street
415-282-3325
www.elriosf.com

Doing the unspeakable

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By Molly Freedenberg

shh_0309.jpg

During a recent beer-fueled gab session with my girlfriends, I made a startling discovery: All of us have particular ways our sexual encounters – whether with strangers or long-term lovers – tend to go. They are different for each of us. And most interestingly, they are unspoken.

For example. When Friend A brings a boy back to her bed, more likely than not they’ll simply cuddle – or make out without having intercourse. This never happens with Friend B or Friend C. However, almost every man Friend B brings home tries (and usually succeeds) for anal sex – a reality almost completely foreign to A and C. And Friend C almost always has unprotected sex, with her partner pulling out before he comes. (Yeah, yeah, we know. We’ll get to the modern-adults-having-unprotected-sex post later. That’s not the point here…)

What’s amazing is not that the three friends have different preferences. It’s that these are patterns for each girl, and they happen without being discussed first (or, in some cases, ever).

Morality

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le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com

Morality

CHEAP EATS Intoxicated by how pretty flowers are in the dark and wowed by the sheer size of the lit TVs in all my neighbors’ windows, I accidentally hit my head on a tree. Hard. The rest of my life is going to be a dream.

Here’s the part where Earl Butter sends a messenger pigeon saying he’s sick, but not sick, and will be sitting home and crying unless anyone comes over and drinks and eats vegetables with him.

Well, I have no particular plans for the evening. I was planning to stay home and cry, myself, so I tell Earl Butter’s bird to tell Earl Butter I’ll be right over. If I don’t hit my head too hard on too many trees, walking to BART.

Which I didn’t. One tree. Hard, but not hard enough to make my life much more than dreamy. What I failed to account for was all the distractions that would bonk and bewitch me on the other side of the pond, walking from BART to Earl Butter’s. Namely, and in no particular order: Pizzeria, the Mission’s first (that I know of) stone oven pizza, good ol’ Good Vibrations, and of course New Yorker’s buffalo wings because I needed some lube.

Butter and hot sauce, babe. That’s what I’m made of.

Buffalo wings remind me of Earl Butter, who got made in upstate New York and introduced me to buffalo wings and bowling as a way of life.

But a friend of a friend of mine died yesterday of either cancer or knife wounds. She had cancer and then got mugged and stabbed, see, and then died in her sleep after she got out of the hospital, hard to say why. So my friend wrote to me, even though I never knew her friend, and it was like an obituary.

"She loved camp comedians, naughty jokes, show tunes, Ireland, bubble baths, and take-out curry," my friend said of her friend. She said she wished she had a blog because she finds herself wanting to talk and write about her deceased pal. A lot.

And a light went on over my head. It’s rare that you get to do something concrete for a friend in need. But the thing is that I kind of do have a blog, or something very much like one. So why don’t I make myself useful for a change and write about my friend’s friend for her, a lot, in this restaurant review?

Her name was Mandy. She died at home, at night, in bed with her long-distance girlfriend Kristen, who had come that day from Kansas City to be with her, to help her get well.

Mandy was a psych nurse and sometimes kept baby hedgehogs under a heat lamp in her guest room, according to her friend (my friend), "rising during the night to bottle feed them." She didn’t have any brothers or sisters, yet had eight godchildren. Think about it. So whoever stabbed her stabbed someone who didn’t have any brothers or sisters, yet had eight godchildren and nursed both baby hedgehogs and human head cases.

Plus there’s the take-out curry factor. Nothing pokes the unfunny bone like an extinguished hankering for curry. Or the smell of paint. I could go on and on, on my friend’s behalf.

But I know a lot of my readers are muggers, so I’ll be succinct: If you take anything at all from this important restaurant review, take this: stop stabbing people, you fucking morons. We’re all dying anyway, of breast cancer and heart disease, and we don’t need knife wounds on top of it all, so fuck the fuck off. If you lack the skill or finesse to eke a living or pick a pocket cleanly, turn the knife inward and cut your gutless bowels out.

For those of you who aren’t muggers, your moral is quite different. When your friend sends a messenger pigeon, and sometimes even if they don’t, go to them. Bring lube, and/or vodka. Bring buffalo wings. Bring pizza.

Yes, Pizzeria has a dumb name, and a posh (and therefore empty) interior. But its pizza has that nice, thin, stone oven crispness. Which I so so so so love.

My friend’s friend Mandy did not like pizza.

PIZZERIA

Tue.–Thu., 3 p.m.–10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., noon–11:30 p.m.; Sun., noon–10 p.m.

659 Valencia, SF

(415) 701-7492

Beer & wine

AE/D/MC/V

L.E. Leone’s new book is Big Bend (Sparkle Street Books), a collection of short fiction.

Appetite: Czech in FiDi, Easter meals, Bushi-Tei bistro, Front Porch bones, and more

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Cityhouse0309a.jpg
The new cityhouse: apres-shopping bacon-wrapped swordfish

As long-time San Francisco resident and writer, I’m passionate about this city and obsessed with exploring its best food-and-drink spots, deals, events and news, in every neighborhood and cuisine type. I have my own personalized itinerary service and monthly food/drink/travel newsletter, The Perfect Spot, and am thrilled to share up-to-the minute news with you from the endless goings-on in our fair city each week on SFBG. View the last Appetite installment here.

———-

NEW RESTAURANT and BAR OPENINGS
A double-dose of Bushi-Tei in Japantown with a new bistro
I love you, Bushi-Tei. Though a Michelin-star winner with rave reviews, I often wonder why few seem to have been to this upscale Asian restaurant with a French cuisine ethos? Chef Wakabayashi is a genius, as far as I’m concerned, and the experience, from wine list to savory dishes to desserts, have always been a creative-fresh thrill for me over the years. I dig the dark woods of the modern dining room, the seamless service, and most of all, the glorious food. So I’m delighted to see the unveiling of Bushi-Tei Bistro this week, with a $6-15 price range and dishes like housemade udon, Japanese curry and sushi. Conveniently close to key Japantown/Lower Fillmore landmarks, I’d guess this could be the new gourmet-but-affordable-Asian-eats stop before or after a movie at Sundance Kabuki, a visit to the Kabuki Spring spa or a concert at the Fillmore.
1581 Webster Street
415-409-4959
www.bushi-tei.com

Cityhouse debuts in the Parc 55 Hotel
It appears to be another Union Square hotel restaurant (i.e. expensive), but Parc 55 Hotel‘s $30 million makeover (scheduled to be done in June) includes this steakhouse restaurant, cityhouse, helmed by Chef Brian Healy of the former Terrace at the Ritz-Carlton San Francisco. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner with an all-day bar oferring swank cocktails and bar bites, it’s a downtown shopping respite or meet-up spot with visiting friends craving steak, bacon-wrapped swordfish, oysters and strawberry rhubarb crisp.
55 Cyril Magnin Street
415-392-8000
http://dev.tigglobal.com/RenaissanceParc55/restaurants/cityhouse.cfm

Cafe Prague is bringin’ Czech back to FiDi… and soon, the Mission
It’s nice to have a little Czech back in town, though I’ll miss the old Cafe Prague space (which closed last Fall), tucked away on Pacific Ave. Hopefully the boho-Euro atmos transfers to their newly-opened Financial District locale. I see the menu consists mainly of salads and sandwiches for the FiDi lunch set, but thankfully a couple Eastern European specialties remain (which I appreciate given that there’s not much of it around), like Hungarian goulash and sauerbraten with dumplings. A second site is soon to open on Mission Street between 17th and 18th, so there’ll be more Prague lovin’ to go around.
424 Merchant Street
415-627-7464

———-

APRIL 12th EASTER MEALS
1300 on Fillmore’s Gospel Brunch for Easter
Since 1300 on Fillmore opened, it’s been my preferred stop for upscale Southern Soul food with a twist, and it’s jazzy, cool lounge giving tribute to the Fillmore District’s jazz glory days. Though I’ve eagerly been wanting to check out their Gospel Brunch the first Sunday of every month (which has been so popular, they plan on adding a second Sunday), I suspect Easter might be the time to catch the Spirit over cornbread and shrimp ‘n creamy grits. The three-course brunch is $39, including all food, coffee and tea, special drink of choice (mimosa, bellini, juices), and, naturally, some rousing, live gospel music. Hallelujah! P.S. Don’t forget their Fried Chicken Mondays (5:30-11pm) where $28 gets you soup or salad, Black Skillet Fried Chicken and dessert.
$39
1300 Fillmore Street
415-771-7100
www.1300fillmore.com

Indian-style Easter at Dosa on Fillmore
Doing Easter out of the norm means Dosa on Fillmore’s Indian Easter brunch might be your speed, especially when the menu includes a Strawberry-Banana Uttapam (large, pancake-style version of a dosa for $12) or an Egg Poriyal Dosa, filled with a South Indian scramble of organic eggs, chilies, tomatoes and onions ($10). Wash it down with a Bloody Mary Curry ($8.50) or Elderflower Mimosa ($9) and you’ve got yourself a brunch.
11:30am-3:30pm
1700 Fillmore Street
415-441-3672
www.dosasf.com

The antithesis to "Easter brunch" lunch at Bloodhound bar
It’s Bunny BBQ at Bloodhound all Easter afternoon with a glut of meats from Taylor’s smoked ham to rabbit (in sausage form or grilled), plus a slew of down-home sides like chicharrones, beans, and yes, bacon peanut butter brownies. It’s all you can eat and drink of seasonal beer (draft and bottle), with Bloodhound’s excellent classic cocktails still available at regular price. Fatted Calf and 4505 Meats host the event but space is limited to so make sure you RSVP if you want to eat the bunny rather than admire its cuteness.
$30
2pm–7pm
RSVP: info@bloodhoundsf.com
1145 Folsom Street
www.bloodhoundsf.com

———–

Front0409a.jpg

DEALS
Bones and Blues every Tuesday at The Front Porch
The Outer Mission’s Front Porch is one of those places (with rocking chairs on the little front patio) that’s invitingly warm as soon as you walk in. The red booths, pressed-tin ceiling and dim lighting create an overall glow. As of last week, Fats Domino Tuesdays is the night to linger over, yep… dominoes. A game of dominoes with discounted drinks and appetizers and blues music to set the mood. You can bring a partner or there’s sure to be others to play a friendly game with if you come alone. With new chef, Michael Law, aboard, it’s an ideal time to re-visit the heartwarming Southern/New Orleans menu.
Tuesdays 5-7pm
65-A 29th Street
415-282-9043
www.thefrontporchsf.com

Live blues Gumbo Jam at Miss Pearl’s Jam House every second Friday
Miss Pearl’s Jam House is one of those idyllic waterside settings that feels like a party just being there. I find the food and drinks can be hit or miss, but I still love the setting in the continually reviving Jack London Square. What better way to hit Miss Pearl’s than for a second Friday Gumbo Jam (or live music nights all month long, like "Dancin’ Island Sounds")? Chef Joey Altman (of TV and cookbook fame) actually rocks out with blues band, The Back Burners, while serving up a huge pot of gumbo. Way to start your weekend, Nawlins’-style.
2nd Fridays 8pm-12am
One Broadway, Oakland
510-444-7171
www.misspearlsjamhouse.com

Bacon: The other other white meme

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By Molly Freedenberg

Last night, I slept with bacon. Or rather, I soaked up my whiskey and beer with a big fat bacon sandwich — slices of crisp, thick-cut pork piled between two sides of a cheese bagel — and then drifted off to sleep immersed (thanks to the bedroom’s proximity to the kitchen) in the smell of fried pig.

This has been happening a lot more often than it used to – and not just because I finally kicked that pesky eating disorder and discovered that bacon (and french fries, and pizza, and just about everything else) really does taste better than rice cakes dipped in mustard. It’s also because everyone around me seems to be eating bacon. Talking about bacon. Talking about art about bacon.

It’s got me wondering: When and how, exactly, did bacon become such a big friggin’ deal?

baconstache_0309.jpg
Baconstache: where two ironic trends collide. Photo courtesy of skullsandbacon.blospot.com.

Appetite: She-Crab Soup, hot Pican, a Dogpatch Kitchenette, Cosmpolitan special, and more

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cosmopolitansf0309.jpg
The Cosmopolitan on Spear Street. See “Deals” below.

As long-time San Francisco resident and writer, I’m passionate about this city and obsessed with exploring its best food-and-drink spots, deals, events and news, in every neighborhood and cuisine type. I have my own personalized itinerary service and monthly food/drink/travel newsletter, The Perfect Spot, and am thrilled to share up-to-the minute news with you from the endless goings-on in our fair city each week on SFBG. View the last Appetite installment here.

———————

NEW RESTAURANT and BAR OPENINGS

Awesome sandwiches out of a Dogpatch garage at Kitchenette
Debuting less than two weeks ago out of warehouse in Dogpatch is Kitchenette, a project from chefs who’ve worked at places of such high caliber as Incanto, Chez Panisse and Foreign Cinema, creating daily offerings that are, you guessed it: fresh and seasonal. Check the website for the changing menu which usually consists of a meat and vegetarian sandwiches (occasionally pizza), a salad, fresh juice and cookie. Last week I was converted by the fabulous Bahn Mi-like sandwich of beer & tangerine roasted Berkshire pork ($8) with cilantro, jalapeno, cabbage plus a side of macaroni salad. Washed down with a tart Meyer lemon, tangerine, blood orange juice ($2), I was already planning my next visit. Bring your cash (no other option) and come early because once their daily creations of lunchtime goodness are gone, well… they’re gone.
Monday-Friday, 11:30am-1:30pm or until food runs out
958 Illinois Street (in the American Industrial Center)
www.kitchenettesf.com

Fine dining made more affordable at La Folie’s Lounge
San Fran’s 21-year old French fine dining mecca, La Folie, may not be cheap even in lounge form, but if I don’t have to pay $70 to $105 for the only option of tasting menus in the dining room, I can still make a night of it ordering a la carte in the next door lounge, opening March 31 during their 21st birthday party. You can now eat as little or as much as you wish of the Michelin-starred food given a lounge-twist (think Lobster Croque Monsieurs), cocktail in hand (note: the bar is helmed by Casper Rice of Michael Mina and Rubicon).
2316 Polk Street
415-776-5577
www.lafolie.com

Cafe Altano, a casual, new restaurant in Hayes Valley
Hayes (Valley, that is) is home to a regular foodie row with primo sushi, German food, coffee and chocolate within a couple blocks. Cafe Altano is a humble entry into to the ‘hood, a corner Med-Italian eatery taking over the Modern Tea space (R.I.P.) With pizzas, pastas, mussels, paninis and beers, it sounds like a relaxing late afternoon spot to chill, sitting at the copper bar, communal or sidewalk tables.
602 Hayes Street
415-252-1200

EAST BAY OPENING

The Old South modernized with upscale Southern food and Bourbon Room at Pican
Nothing makes me want to book a reservation more than the words “bourbon” and “Southern food” together. In a chic, Rhett Butler gentleman’s space with burlap-draped chandeliers, crushed shell & limestone bar and a private Bourbon Room, is Oakland’s Pican, conveniently near the Paramount Theatre. New Orleans’ native, Michael LeBlanc (co-founder of Brothers Brewing Co) debuted Pican, his first restaurant, last week for dinner (5-10pm nightly; Friday and Saturday till 11pm), with lunch (and sidewalk seating) forthcoming, on the ground floor of the new Broadway Grand building.

They had me at “She-Crab Soup”, one of my favorite lush delicacies when traveling in Charleston (creamy crab soup with crab roe for deeper texture and flavor), “Southern foie gras” (pan-fried chicken livers with Benton’s incomparable bacon in a sweet onion-Marsala gravy – um… yeah!), Low Country shrimp and grits, Bourbon and molasses-lacquered duck, and peanut jalapeno coleslaw. Small plates run $6-16, entrees $17-29, so it’s a date night or friends night on the town, especially when you can sip from a 96-deep bourbon list (definitely a number of rarities on board), beers, wines or cocktails. They’re going for the goal of biggest Bay Area Bourbon selection with a calendar of events including Bourbon tastings, Cigar dinners, live music, art showings and Winemaker dinners. It it’s all as fabulous as it sounds, I’m prepared to make good use of FasTrak across the bridge.
2295 Broadway, Oakland
510-834-1000
www.picanrestaurant.com

———

EVENTS

April 20 – One-night-only dinner prepared by Eric Ripert at Aqua
The name Eric Ripert means something to you if a) you’ve seen Top Chef, where he’s often guested, b) you’ve eaten at Manhattan’s Haute French temple, Le Bernardin, or c) you love and follow great chefs nationwide. Well, Eric is here and cooking for you in a rare one night appearance at our own Aqua, so reserve now, while there’s still time.
$130 not including wine pairings
252 California Street
415-956-9662
www.aqua-sf.com

———

DEALS

The Cosmopolitan brings back the Martini Lunch
SoMa’s classic long-timer, The Cosmopolitan, has an old school, New York vibe for power lunches and cocktails post-work (the 4-8pm Wednesday and Friday Happy Hour is now $4 for everything from Belgian beers to sliders, mini-sandwiches and champagne). They prove they mean business with a new Two Martini Lunch deal: yep, two Russian standard vodka martinis for $5. Your boss never has to know.
Wednesday-Friday, 11:30am-3pm
121 Spear Street, Suite B8
415-543-4001
www.cosmopolitansf.com

Morty’s Deli for a fab Reuben and a PBR for $7
I get a touch of my East Coast NJ/NY roots when I eat a fabulous Reuben sandwich at the Tenderloin’s funky fresh deli with NY attitude, Morty’s. On Tuesdays you can now buy a Reuben and PBR for $7. The deals continue with Fish Fry Fridays, Spaghetti and Meatballs Thursdays, and wine specials to pair with.
Deli open Mon-Thu 8am-8pm; Fri 8am-6pm
280 Golden Gate Avenue
415-567-3354
www.mortysdeli.com

Hayes Valley’s Samovar Tea Lounge $10 weekday Tea Lunch
Samovar in Hayes Valley (on their Web site, they’re calling it Zen Valley?) recently started a daily lunch special: soup, salad, 1/2 sandwich (either tofu or turkey) and tea (green, black or herbal) for a mere $10 – including tax!
Monday-Fridays, 10am-1pm
297 Page Street
415-861-0303
www.samovarlife.com

City Grill

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› paulr@sfbg.com

At this moment — at the cusp of spring — the most happening restaurant in Noe Valley is Contigo, which opened early in March in what had been a computer store. The crowd promptly swooped, with a thickness and intensity not seen in the neighborhood since the launch of Fresca nearly four years ago and without, it seems, much in the way of worries about the economic meltdown. You step into Contigo, find yourself against a wall of chattering people, and step out. You step around the corner to City Grill and breathe more easily.

City Grill is the good new restaurant in Noe Valley no one has heard of. It opened in January in what had been the Kookez space (before that, Miss Millie’s, and before that, Meat Market café) just a few steps away from Lupa. The owner of Lupa, Stefano Coppola, also has a hand in City Grill — but there the similarities between the two places end. Lupa serves Roman-influenced food, while City Grill is a kind of nouvelle American diner whose nearest culinary relation is probably Firefly, just a few blocks up the street.

The word "grill" makes me think of a place that serves grilled-cheese sandwiches and bitter coffee, while "city grill" makes me think of some shiny, clattery spot downtown where politicians meet at lunchtime to eat steak and hatch plots. City Grill is neither; it is, instead, a wonderfully woody neighborhood restaurant that manages to preserve much of the past while offering excellent, modern food. I’d like to add "at modest prices," but perhaps price perception carries an element of relativity. City Grill is about equidistant from cheap and fancy. You can pay quite a bit more and not do much better, and you can also pay quite a bit less and not do much worse.

At least one welcome change from the Kookez regime is that the kid-proofed menus, laminated in plastic as at innumerable chain restaurants along the limitless interstates, are gone. City Grill is kid-friendly but doesn’t go overboard about it. The space’s most unusual feature, from a visual or aesthetic point of view, is the exhibition kitchen, which is in the front third of the restaurant — where you might expect to find the bar — rather than (as is more usual) in or at the rear. Since the kitchen bulges out into the dining space and is a beehive of constant activity, the diner’s sense is of being in the audience at some sort of theater in the round, or near-round. Most of the tables and booths have some view of the animated troupe working the kitchen.

As to what emerges from the kitchen: it’s good stuff, and this isn’t surprising, given the quality of Coppola’s nearby Lupa. Coppola has somehow managed to bring an Italian ethic of simplicity and straightforwardness to City Grill’s Cal-American menu. Each dish tends to emphasize a single, principal ingredient, with additions and amendments deployed sparingly and quietly.

A broccoli soup ($6.50), for example, struck us as just broccoli in another form, puréed with some chicken stock, thickened with a bit of potato, and given a bit of tangy crunch by scatterings of croutons and Parmesan cheese. A bowl of mussels and frites ($9.50), meanwhile, was about as disciplined as it gets, with fat Prince Edward Island shellfish topped with a stack of golden fries and a sauce of white wine, garlic, butter, and streamers of tarragon for a bouillabaisse-like hint of licorice. Since we ran out of fries long before the liquid had been sopped up, we asked for a basket of bread. Odd that such a basket hadn’t been brought when we were seated — is this a new way for restaurants to cut back discreetly? — but the bread itself (French, not sourdough) was wonderfully soft and warm, and when we ran through the first basket, we were brought another.

Lamb chops ($24.50) — really a rack of lamb, with each rib bone carefully frenched) — were rubbed with herbs and roasted to the rare side of medium-rare, then plated with a whirl of well-seasoned, creamy mashed potatoes, a thicket of wilted broccoli rabe, and several mysterious, leathery hemispheres we guessed might be dried, pitted cherries.

A more fanciful preparation was a plate of pork medallions ($16) — a trio of what I took to be slices of roasted loin, each arrayed in a haybed of sauerkraut on a platform of russet potato. These layerings were set on the plate pointing outward, like the petals of a flower, while around the edges a country-mustard sauce had been napped. It all seemed naggingly familiar, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until I was halfway through: it was a rethinking of choucroute, the warming — and highly sustaining — dish of Alsace.

Then on to Vienna for some strudel ($6) — apple, of course, studded with raisins and topped with a scoop or two of ice cream (for a buck extra per scoop). Strudel is the ultimate pastry experience of Mitteleuropa, but it was brought (along with coffee) by the Turks and is a version of phyllo, like its Middle Eastern cousin baklava. City Grill’s strudel is golden and puffy and could stand on its own without any fruit or ice cream, just a bit of butter and a sprinkle of powdered sugar. Maybe a splash of coffee, or espresso, to wash it down. No matter how American we are, the world is always with us. *

CITY GRILL

Dinner: Tue.–Sat., 5:30 p.m.; Sun. 5 p.m.

Brunch: Sat.–Sun., 9 a.m.

4123 24th St., SF

(415) 285-2400

www.citygrillsf.com

Beer and wine

MC/V

Not noisy

Wheelchair accessible

A little luck, a little pluck

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By Andrea Nemerson. View more alt.sex columns here.

AltSex_Icon.jpg

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I’m not 40, like the author of the "40 and Frustrated" letter, but I’m afflicted with another "less than desirable" characteristic: color. Oh, and a bit of meat on my bones, although that’s never been much of a problem. I’m a black woman and I date(d) all sorts of men. Online has never been the right place for me to meet men because, in a field of redheads and green eyes, men pass right by my photo. I got absolutely no interest except from men I am not interested in. And if I happened to get an interested male inquiry, I too found that the communication petered out quickly.

Several years back, I moved to the city on my own. Finally — no roommates, no significant other, just me. My friends were in relationships or newly married and I had to find activities that allowed me to have fun and meet single men. When I went out with friends, I was always just another girl in the crowd.

I got the best results when I began going out by myself, walking into an establishment where I knew no one, ordering a drink, sitting at the bar, and looking desirable and approachable with a book or a snack. A month ago, I even had a CL Missed Connections ad placed for me by a nice Irish man after visiting a local pub and having a burger and beer. It is a 99.9 percent given that if you are female and alone, a male will walk up to you and begin a conversation. Despite your age, your looks, your size, your ethnicity, if a man sees you alone, without a crew of other females to choose from, he will feel compelled to find out your story and see if he has a shot with you.

Two years ago, out by myself, I met a man I had eyed a few times over the years. We chatted. We joked. We got to know each other. Two-and-a-half years later, we’re still together.

We both have an independent nature, which still leads me to frequent places on my own. Each and every time, I am approached. I’m attractive, but I’m not all that, so this is something any woman can do. I feel that we, as women, need to step it up a notch and realize that we need to depend mostly on ourselves and not our friends or the Internet to hook us up or place us in situations where we’ll meet people.

Appetite: She-Crab Soup, hot Pican, a Dogpatch Kitchenette, Cosmpolitan special, and more

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0

By Virginia Miller

cosmopolitansf0309.jpg
The Cosmopolitan on Spear Street. See “Deals” below.

As long-time San Francisco resident and writer, I’m passionate about this city and obsessed with exploring its best food-and-drink spots, deals, events and news, in every neighborhood and cuisine type. I have my own personalized itinerary service and monthly food/drink/travel newsletter, The Perfect Spot, and am thrilled to share up-to-the minute news with you from the endless goings-on in our fair city each week on SFBG. View the last Appetite installment here.

———————

NEW RESTAURANT and BAR OPENINGS

Awesome sandwiches out of a Dogpatch garage at Kitchenette
Debuting less than two weeks ago out of warehouse in Dogpatch is Kitchenette, a project from chefs who’ve worked at places of such high caliber as Incanto, Chez Panisse and Foreign Cinema, creating daily offerings that are, you guessed it: fresh and seasonal. Check the website for the changing menu which usually consists of a meat and vegetarian sandwiches (occasionally pizza), a salad, fresh juice and cookie. Last week I was converted by the fabulous Bahn Mi-like sandwich of beer & tangerine roasted Berkshire pork ($8) with cilantro, jalapeno, cabbage plus a side of macaroni salad. Washed down with a tart Meyer lemon, tangerine, blood orange juice ($2), I was already planning my next visit. Bring your cash (no other option) and come early because once their daily creations of lunchtime goodness are gone, well… they’re gone.
Monday-Friday, 11:30am-1:30pm or until food runs out
958 Illinois Street (in the American Industrial Center)
www.kitchenettesf.com

Fine dining made more affordable at La Folie’s Lounge
San Fran’s 21-year old French fine dining mecca, La Folie, may not be cheap even in lounge form, but if I don’t have to pay $70 to $105 for the only option of tasting menus in the dining room, I can still make a night of it ordering a la carte in the next door lounge, opening March 31 during their 21st birthday party. You can now eat as little or as much as you wish of the Michelin-starred food given a lounge-twist (think Lobster Croque Monsieurs), cocktail in hand (note: the bar is helmed by Casper Rice of Michael Mina and Rubicon).
2316 Polk Street
415-776-5577
www.lafolie.com

Cafe Altano, a casual, new restaurant in Hayes Valley
Hayes (Valley, that is) is home to a regular foodie row with primo sushi, German food, coffee and chocolate within a couple blocks. Cafe Altano is a humble entry into to the ‘hood, a corner Med-Italian eatery taking over the Modern Tea space (R.I.P.) With pizzas, pastas, mussels, paninis and beers, it sounds like a relaxing late afternoon spot to chill, sitting at the copper bar, communal or sidewalk tables.
602 Hayes Street
415-252-1200

This week: A six-pack of rock picks

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0

By L.C. Mason and Andre Torrez

futurskullz0309a.jpg

———-

THEE OH SEES AND EAT SKULL

Fuzz is the new black — at least according to the gospel preached by Thee Oh Sees and Eat Skull. The two West Coast combos will take the beer- and noise-soaked pulpit at the Eagle Tavern to bang out hazy sermons of garage wit and wisdom.

With Grant Hart and the Fresh and Onlys. Thurs/26, 9 p.m., $5. Eagle Tavern, 398 12th St., SF. (415) 626-0880. www.sfeagle.com

———–

DARK DARK DARK

Dark Dark Dark released its debut album in 2008 on Rhode Island’s Supply and Demand label. The group’s folky, rootsy instrumentation and female-to-male vocal tradeoffs take over the Caretaker’s House.

Fri/28, 8 p.m. www.myspace.com/darkdarkdarkband

————

TRANS AM, EZEE TIGER, FUTUR SKULLZ

Imagine you’re in high school: Trans Am are the electronics nerds who jam to Rush, Anthony Petrovic of Ezee Tiger is the misunderstood indie guy who is into the Flaming Lips and Lightning Bolt while you’re still spinning Sublime, and Futur Skullz are the long-hairs who know metal is cool five years before you will — and who just got busted for stealing Dad’s whiskey.

Sun/29, 9 p.m., $14. Bottom of the Hill, 1233 17th St., SF. (415) 621-4455. www.bottomofthehill.com
———–

Event fee policy threatens How Weird and other festivals

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1

howweird.jpg
The How Weird Street Faire has become a popular event, particularly with the Guardian staff, including (from left) Associate Art Director Ben Hopfer, Culture Editor Molly Freedenberg, City Editor Steven T. Jones, and Art Director Mirissa Neff.

By Steven T. Jones

The city’s budget crunch and stricter policies on making special events pay up front for all city services that they’re required to use are once again threatening the How Weird Street Faire, a popular dance festival now in its 10th year that seems to battle city bureaucracy every year. Now, the grassroots organizers are challenging policies that could leave San Francisco with only events sponsored by deep-pocketed corporations.

Organizers say they can’t come up with the almost $10,000 that the San Francisco Police Department is requiring them to pay up front, a tab needed to pay for cops that do little except stand around at an event that would rather be allowed to police itself. The May 10 event is scheduled to take place around Howard and 2nd streets after city officials made them move from their previous spot 10 blocks away.

“The SFPD is demanding we pay them nearly $10K up front for police services, which was not discussed at the ISCOTT [the city body that issues street closure permits] hearing and is twice the amount of 2007. We simply do not have the money for this and they are threatening now to not plan for our police services. I have a bad feeling they will not sign off on our ABC license [needed for beer sales],” lead organizer Brad Olsen recently wrote in an appeal to City Hall for help.

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