SFBG Blogs

Trapped in R. Kelly’s “Closet”

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By Robert Bergin

OH SHIT.

Only four more days people. To talk too much about the joke is to ruin the joke, so if you’re not clued in, get your crusty, no-Trapped-havin’ ass down to the nearest video store and buy yourself a copy of Kells’ ruminations on love and infidelity. His message is clear and essential: The closet in which Sylvester initially takes refuge is nothing compared to the emotional closets we trap ourselves in every day.

We have all fucked and fought, loved and lost. Trapped in the Closet reflects that pain: Bridget’s tears are our tears. The midget’s dookie-stained pants are our dookie-stained pants. R. Kelly knows that life is but a revolving door of pleasure and pain. He just dressed it up with a bumpin’ beat and lyrics stuffed with metaphors that border on Shakespearean. (“A fish with titties”? Didn’t he crib that from Falstaff?)

And that’s art, man. To hold, as t’were, the mirror up to nature. Can the second installment possibly top the first? Out-heroding Herod never sounded so sweet.

(The next five chapters are already up at ifc.com. The site is releasing a new chapter each day, so if you simply can’t wait for Tuesday, pop on over there.)

August 19th Summer of Love Event postponed

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The Summer of Love event scheduled for Speedway Meadows this Sunday August 19th has been postponed due to scheduling conflicts. It is being rescheduled for late October. For more information on this event in October call (415) 845-5011.

There is a separate Summer of Love event hosted by Council of Light and 2b1 Multimedia inc. that is scheduled in Speedway Meadows for September 2nd that will go on as planned. Click on the continued reading link below to read the current press release about a pre- Summer of Love “Witness to the Human Be-In, Forum” happening next Friday, August 24th.

The tale of a l3-year-old youth and his adult skipper who beat the Australians in a national championship sailing race in Alameda

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By Bruce B. Brugmann

I confess here and now that I know nothing about sailing or sailing races. In fact, the only thing I know is the joke among sportswriters that the way to cover a sailing race is to station yourself at a bar, overlooking the race, and cover the action from there, because there really isn’t any action that you can see from the shore.

However, I decided to see my first sailing race when my grandson, Nicholas Perez, a lean l3-year old from Santa Barbara, and his skipper, Gordon (Gordo) Bagley, of Boulder City, Nevada, entered the Hobie National Championship Race the week of July 30th on the beaches of Alameda. I watched them head out to the start line, with some of the world’s top sailors from all over the globe, including Australia, Mexico, Fiji, and of course the U.S.
And then I came back to the city because I simply couldn’t spend the day trying to follow the action.

On Friday, Aug. 3, the last day of the five day regatta, the two did the impossible and pulled off one of those once-in-a-lifetime sailing feats that sailors only dream about, as was explained to me later by the sailors.
As you can see from the three photos, Nicky and Gordo port tacked the fleet, which means they threaded the needle between the pin boat and the rest of the fleet of catamarans on port tack, went into the lead, and never gave it up during the race.

Here’s what the sailing experts told me: Sailing afficionadas know what a difficult and gutsy move this is. To pull it off during a national championship is nothing short of miraculous. Here is how the miracle worked. A fundamental rule off sailing is that the boats on starboard tack have the right of way. Typically, 99.9 per cent of the sailors will be positioned on the starting line with their boats situated on the starboard tack. Starboard tack means that the wind is coming over the starboard side of the boat.

As you can see in the photos, 49 Hobie catamaran sailboats are on the starboard tack when the starting guns goes off and only one boat, #5l with Nicky and Gordo is on port tack. They are taking a big gamble that they will be able to sneak through a very narrow opening at the left-most end of the starting line without fouling, impaling themselves on or crashing into the rest of the fleet on starboard tack.

If this doesn’t work then, well, it’s not the good. But if it does work, then it presents one with the advantage of clear, smooth, undisturbed air and good boatspeed right at the start of the race. Good boatspeed is vital for shooting through the starting line into the race course. Conversely, starting with the fleet, all on starboard, where everyone is having to maneuver, being careful not to bump into each other while going relatively slowly, makes for a slower start.

The wind direction and starting line orientation actually favored rthe port tack start, but as you can see, 49 captains and crew thought otherwise for this particular race. After a quick consultation to determine the course of action, they decided to go for it, sailed into the lead, and won the race.

Keep on sailing, NIcky and Gordo. As for me, I am now worn out and will retire to the Connecticut Yankee bar for a Potrero Hill martini. B3

Pictured below are Nicky and Gordo doing the impossible. Click on the continue reading button to see the first person summary that Gordo wrote for the Catamaran Sailing magazine blog.

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Nicky and Gordo start the race:

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Nicky and Gordo take the lead:

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Click below for Gordo’s summary.

Today’s Ammianoliner

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Michael Savage and Ed Jew got married today. Instead of rice, the crowd threw tapioca.

(On the answering machine of Sup. Tom Ammiano, Friday, Aug. l7th.)

Where’s our mayor?

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Photo by Robert Altman from www.altmanphoto.com
By Steven T. Jones
Sunshine activist Kimo Crossman made an excellent point in an e-mail he blasted out this morning, citing a story in the New York Times that illustrates how mayors are usually held accountable for how they spend their days — and how our Mayor Gavin Newsom isn’t.
The story was about how Mayor Rudy Giuliani spent his time after 9-11 and whether it justifies his recent statements about spending more time at Ground Zero than many rescue workers, many of whom now suffer from debilitating respiratory problems as a result of their work, and the failure of Giuliani to properly safeguard their health.
Here in SF, Newsom has been repeatedly criticized by the Sunshine Ordinance Task Force (which, unfortunately, has no enforcement powers) for failing to disclose his complete public schedule, which most days lists a couple events at most. Today is a good example, with the mayor’s schedule listing only “Mayor Newsom will be conducting meeting in City Hall.” Wow, that’s helpful.
Compare that to the detail and specificity for the mayor of New York, and the mayors of many big cities, and you’ll get some insights into how Newsom feels about public accountability.

Dot com, dot org…what’s the diff?

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by Amanda Witherell

In fine, self-aggrandizing form PG&E just issued this press release congratulating themselves for having such a great website.

Normally, I wouldn’t notice such trivialities if it weren’t for the recent gaffe with their other website, which didn’t work…but does now!

Looks like someone over there at PG&E reads the Guardian!

WOW, a slice of Black Rock City

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By Scribe
These are frantic days for many Burning Man artists, a stressful race to the finish line that is next week’s departure for Black Rock City. I got the call from my old camp, Opulent Temple, that they needed some extra minions so I agreed to help out with their impossibly ambitious project: a massive 10-foot tall steel “star” stage (which is actually five stages, all cut and welded from scratch) and a huge open air bamboo dome. I’d already put in a few recent work days on the stage at the Box Shop on Hunter’s Point (where I’d spent more than nine months reporting this story a couple years ago), so I opted to head out to the West Oakland Warehouse (WOW) to do some dome work and peak in on some other projects, particularly “Crude Awakening” by Dan Das Mann and Karen Cusolito, who are most widely known around SF as the sculptors of Passage, which now resides near the Ferry Building.
It was like stepping into another world.

My sister’s a fucking rockstar

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By Molly Freedenberg

Yeah, yeah, I know, your sister’s in a band too, and she plays at local venues and has Myspace stalkers from Wisconsin, just like mine. But does your badass bass-playing sister have a nationally distributed album coming out on August 21? No? I didn’t think so.

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Photo by Romy Suskin.
Sally Hope does wear shoes on stage, I swear.

See, my sister’s in this band called Poets and Pornstars. They’re classic rock-n-roll, in the vein of Joan Jett and the Rolling Stones, with a little G’N’R thrown in for good measure, and they’re actually really fucking good. And yes, I may be biased, but if I didn’t actually like her music, I wouldn’t lie about it on a public blog – I’d just buy her album and shut the fuck up.

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Photo by Jeff Clark.
Me and sis, who’s just pretending to be drunk and passed out.

Instead, I’m telling you to go to their Myspace page, check out some tunes, and then, on August 21, visit your local record store and purchase their self-titled debut. Or keep an eye out for them while they’re on tour with Tesla. And yes, I know, Tesla, ha ha. But is your sister touring with Tesla? No? Suckers.

The real smokescreen

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by Amanda Witherell

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The real smokescreen is the one PG&E is puffing in the Potrero and Bayview neighborhoods. This is the flier their bogus front group mailed out last week. PG&E is claiming the neighborhood can’t handle any more pollution — which is true — but at the same time, the corporation is mishandling the clean-up of their toxic Hunter’s Point power plant, which was shuttered in 2006.

Tidal Power Turmoil

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by Amanda Witherell

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The New York Times is reporting problems with the tidal power technology being field tested in the East River. Looks like the underwater windmills couldn’t hack a current that sheared off the tips of the blades, but optimists from Verdant, the start-up company that owns the project, say that’s what field testing is all about. While several permits have been issued to the more tidally blessed coastal areas in North America, Verdant is the only company to actually deploy some of the much talked about technology to see if it works.

The SFPUC, in a strange partnership with PG&E, is exploring similar technology to harness tidal power in the Bay. But last night I overheard the PUC’s general manager, Susan Leal, say they were still looking into it, but she wasn’t enthusiastic about anything yet. She said she’d visited the East River project and “wasn’t impressed.”

Fine. Here. Bearforce1

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Yes, dears, I know Perez fricking Hilton posted this earlier today — but the thing’s gone so viral, my inbox has gotten overloaded from rabid, hyperintellectual fans! Plus, I use more exclamation points!!! So here I repost it for you (and for me — I really can’t stop watching it.) Plus it’s kind of a personal triumph. It’s, in a way, vindication. And isn’t that what blogs are for? Self-obsessive revenge?

Meet the boys of Bearforce1:


Ta da!

The best part is that they’re from The Netherlands! Hairy from Holland! Hottt!!! Exclamation points!!!

A little while ago I wrote a Super Ego column about how the new bear generation — Bear 2.0 — is more in touch with its feminine and techno dance sides. I got a lot of shit for it. But …. proof! Hot hairy holland pastel-shirted proof! Sweeeet.

Was that really Robert Redford ….

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By Tim Redmond

… who called into Forum to complain that San Francisco isn’t friendly enough to the film industry? Poor Robert — he told Newsom that he decided to make his latest movie in Napa and L.A. because San Francisco wouldn’t give him a $3 million “rebate.”

Jesus. And Newsom says the city “has to do better.” Better at what — giving money away to rich film directors?

Freekend alert! Glitterbox, Chrome, Dirtybird, more

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It’s gonna be one of those crazy too much weekends on the club-freak circuit again. Luckily, I’ll be chasing drag queen Jackie Beat’s voluminous tinfoil skirts and jamming to Morris Day and the Time at fab street fest Sunset Junction in LA — somebody bring me a mirror! — so I don’t have to choose. But for those not hoofin’ it to Silver Lake, here’s a few picks — a l’il rundown on the run-up, as it were. Run around! Got a party I missed? Give it up. I’ll add more as the weekend approaches if poss. I’ve got a lot of makeup to do.

Oh, and if you haven’t seen Avenue Q yet, get yer ass down to the Orpheum Theatre, quick. As America’s premiere queer Arab American leather disco hip-hop muppet whore, I highly recommend the work of my fellow monsters (especially the Bad Idea Bears ! My people!).

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Bad Idea Bears rule

I also wanna plug one of my fave haunts – Club 222, which has far too much good stuff going on all for me to remember. Stop by for a drink, dance all evening, wonder where the hell you are in the morning. Then tell me when you find out.

Now, on to the klubz:

Newsom doesn’t understand wifi

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By Tim Redmond

Gavin Newsom was on Forum this morning. Although Michael Krasny was easy on him — not one tough question — a few choice tidbits came out. One of my faves, when Krasny asked him about the fall wifi ballot initiative:

“There are 200,000 people in the city who don’t have a computer or access to the internet at home.” His wifi plan, he insists, will addres the digital divide.

But Mr. Mayor: The wifi contract with Earthlink and Google isn’t going to give 200,000 people computers. Not even close. And many of those residents live above the second floor of a building (say, in the Tenderloin), where wifi won’t reach. This isn’t a digital-divide issue; if that was Newsom’s concern, he’d talk about fiber to the door, more community access to computers — and municipal wireless, which would be run as a public service, not for private profit.

I’d like to think Newsom is just dumb and doesn’t get it. I’m afraid he understands it all too well, and has simply decided to cast his lot with private partners who will offer a crappy service that will benefit only those who want to pay for a premium version.

Meanwhile, he says he doesn’t care what the supes do: If the board rejects the Earthlink/Google deal, “we’ll find away around it.”

Since I think Newsom’s measure is going to go down to defeat this fall, maybe the progressives should plan on putting a municipal broadband measure on the June, 2008 ballot. Let’s do it right.

H2Oh My God!

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by Amanda Witherell

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The Commonwealth Club is doing a thorough wash of water issues this month with their Cool Clear Water lecture series. Tonight they hosted the SFPUC’s general manager, Susan Leal. Besides telling us that the whole banning bottled water thing was her idea, not Mayor Newsom’s, who’s taking some lovely credit for it, she also gave us the run down on the PUC’s massive overhaul of our water system.

For the low, low price of $4.3 billion we’re getting…

Oakland’s Saviours sign with Kemado

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Saviours’ first ‘un, Crucifire.

This in recently from Kemado Records:

“Explosive, Oakland, CA outfit Saviours has inked a deal with NYC label Kemado Records. The self-described “piss-angry metal band”, known for its ferocious live performances and original stamp on the classic power and thrash metal of decades past, will enter Los Angeles’ A&M/Henson Studios in late August with producer Joe Barresi (Melvins, Kyuss, Tool) to record its sophomore album.

“Merging howling lyrical venom with an endless arsenal of corrosive guitar orchestrations, harmonized leads and runaway locomotive rhythms, Saviours have been rapidly garnering international attention as one of the best heavy bands active today. Fresh off a red-hot tour of the United Kingdom as hand-picked direct support to progressive metal giants Mastodon, Saviours have launched a fourteen city road jaunt that will see the band’s “not-to-be-missed” live sets including many of the new songs that will comprise the new full-length. The as-yet-untitled album is expected to see an early 2008 release.

Today’s Ammianoliner

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Karl Rove can’t come to the phone right now. He’s on a baby seal hunt. (On Sup. Tom Ammiano’s voice mail Tuesday, Aug. l4th). B3

Why do we need a highrise, anyway?

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By Tim Redmond

KQED’s Forum did an entire hour this morning on the proposed Transbay Terminal project, and the best question come for a seven-year-old.

The panelists were not exactly offering a visionary approach to urban planning: Dean Macris, the interim city planning director who never met a tall building he didn’t like, was on, along with the Chronicle’s John King, who thinks at least one of the projects is beautiful, and Clark Manus, past president of the American Institute of Architecture. The panel talked about public space and the beauty of these various buildings until a call came in from someone who wouldn’t give her name.

Michael Krasny, the host, asked why she wanted to be anonymous. “Because I’m only seven,” she said.

Then she asked her question:

Why do we need to build a big highrise anyway? Why not a park?

Well, the guests hemmed and hawed a bit, but Macris finally acknowledged the truth: We’re building a highrise not because we want or need another tall building, or because there’s such a pent-up demand for highrise office space or because we want to be cooler than Chicago, which is building an even bigger tower. It’s because this is how we’re going to finance the Transbay Terminal. Period.

Terrible reason to build a highrise. Thanks, kid, for at least raising the issue.

Monster Squaddin’: a mash note

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By Sam Devine

So the City just killed Halloween (although, in all fairness, they had plenty of help from a few masked assailants and some assorted weaponry), but there may be hope for the haunted holiday yet. As long as you’ve got a DVD player.

What is surely the funniest and most watch-able monster movie of all time, “The Monster Squad,” (originally released in 1987) has just been dubbed a “cult classic,” and been re-released on DVD. In it, all the old-school Universal movie monsters – Dracula, the Mummy, the Wolf Man, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, Frankenstein’s Monster – return to claim a sacred amulet that can forever alter the balance of power between good and evil. And a group of Junior High kids are the only ones that remember the special ways to kill these monsters.

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(Sound silly? All right hotshot: how many ways are there to kill a Werewolf? Would an accident with power tools do it? What about falling out of a window – onto a bomb? Isn’t a silver bullet the only way? The really silly thing is that a lot of us carry around arcane monster knowledge. Hell, the president couldn’t find his ass with a map, but it’s a safe bet he can help you out with your Werewolf problem: “See, whatcha do is… you get a silver bullet. It’s like the reverse of Iraq, heh. see. Where there is no silver bullet. Heh. Learned that from my buddy Lon Chaney – I call ‘im Lonny, heh, for short.”)

Newsom doesn’t need that money

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By Tim Redmond

Gavin Newsom does, indeed, have opponents this fall, but none of them are going to raise and spent a million bucks; in fact, none of them are going to make this enough of a race that Newsom will need to spend that kind of money. If he laid off his campaign staff today, never did a single rally, event or mailing and spent not a dime on his re-election he would win handily, probably with 60 percent of the vote.

So why does he need to run a $1.6 million campaign?

Answer: He doesn’t. Why not demonstrate some civic goodwill, Mr. Mayor, and donate, say, $1 million of that to charity?

The Right Whale to hit

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by Amanda Witherell

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Geez,,,whales are like pandas and koalas, right? They usually get all the love when it comes to conservation and protection. Not when there’s money to be made! As someone who used to spend time out in the middle of the Atlantic hoping to glimpse even a fin of one of these rare whales, it’s distressing to see the federal government bending to the pressures of industry…again. Whales may be the largest mammals, but tankers, cruise ships, car ferries, and even whale watching boats are a hell of a lot bigger and should be more tender when plying our communal seas. Researchers say large, fast-moving ships rarely notice if and when they’ve nailed a whale.

Lollapalooza day 3: Pearl Jam censored by AT&T, Stooges, Yo La Tengo, and more

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By K. Tighe

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The Lollapalooza Chicago skyline: don’t stare at it too hardit might bite. Photo by Cambria Harkey.

Dear readers, I have failed you.

I’ve been attempting to experience the whole of Lollapalooza, which of course includes after-parties, and their obligatory next-morning results. However, while Lupe Fiasco and Amy Winehouse were playing on day 3, Aug. 5, I was stretched out on a yoga mat, trying not to hurl.

Lucky for you, I have spies everywhere. The little birds told me that Fiasco – Chicago’s resident geek-rapper – delivered a stellar, irreverent performance that left his crowd wanting more. In contrast, the petite Ms. Winehouse fell short. During most of her set, she appeared to be consumed by boredom, and even the infectious strains of “Rehab” couldn’t shake her out of it. A crowd hoping for a train wreck of some sort continued to watch, but Winehouse never turned it up. Hey, at least she showed up, right?

The punk rockers are old. The alt-rockers are old, too. Hell, even the electro-clash kids are showing some wear these days – though it’s nothing a cowbell couldn’t fix. Age be damned – the highest energy performance of the weekend belonged without question to Stooges frontperson Iggy Pop. With raggedy long hair sticking to his bare back, Iggy charged the stage like a sinewy beast and didn’t pull back once during the set, prompting hoards of fans, young and old, to get Iggy with it.

PG&E in need of copy editors

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by Amanda Witherell

Ahh, this is so good. I almost don’t want to point it out, but hey, we hardly get any laughs when it comes to PG&E.

The corporation recently revived its dormant “Close it Coalition,” a fake grassroots community group they cooked up to show the $12 billion company really cares about the pollution their power plant was spewing into the southeast neighborhoods. Now they’re opposed to the city’s plan to build its own peaker power plant there because of, they claim, the pollution in “our” neighborhood. Most likely they’re really against it because it would be owned by the city and not them, but read this Wednesday’s issue for more on that.

Anyway they printed up a bunch of mailers that were sent to the Potrero neighborhood, inviting folks to join the Close It Coalition and oppose the new peakers. They also invite you to their website: www.closeitcoalition.org.

Oops, looks like they forgot they aren’t a nonprofit. It’s actually www.closeitcoalition.com

It also looks like they bought up the alternate domain names of their enemies at www.letsgreenwashthiscity.org and routed them to PG&E’s bogus green web site.

Which means they’re calling themselves greenwashers. Ha ha. Dorks. My work here is done.

In other greenwashing news: we also heard they nominated themselves for an environmental justice award from the EPA. In the words of our source on that tidbit, “Who nominates themselves for an award?”

Double dorks.