SFBG Blogs

Snap Sounds: Etienne Jaumet

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ETIENNE JAUMET
Night Music
(Domino)

The idea of nocturnal sound is circulating at the moment, though maybe it always does where electronic music intersects with clubland. Overseen by none other than Carl Craig, Jaumet‘s trip into the dark has a smart structure.

Comprising the first half, the 20-minute “For Falling Asleep” escorts the listener to dreamland through seduction rather than boredom — its slinky synth melodies coil around one another like snakes moving forward at the speed of trains, before the music winds down into languorous sax, Goblin-like ominous throbbing sound waves and delicate acoustic melodies. Shorter and comparatively stripped down, the four tracks that follow either suggest or approximate different unconscious states.

SF Weekly owes us half its ad revenue

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The San Francisco Superior Court ruled March 9th that SF Weekly must begin making payments on the Bay Guardian judgment by turning over half of the revenues it receives from advertising sales.


 


Commissioner Everett A. Hewlett, Jr., entered an Assignment Order that requires the SF Weekly and all of its advertisers to immediately begin remitting advertising revenues to the Bay Guardian. The Assignment Order also requires SF Weekly’s credit card processing company to remit 100% of the credit card payments directly to Bay Guardian rather than to SF Weekly.


The Assignment Order is effective immediately. Additionally, SF Weekly has until Wednesday to turn over to the Bay Guardian a list of all its advertisers and the amounts that they currently owe to SF Weekly.


At a hearing on February 11, attorneys for SF Weekly opposed the assignment by arguing that if the court were to enter the Bay Guardian’s proposed Assignment Order, it might cause the Bank of Montreal to declare a default on a $80 million loan balance that SF Weekly and its parent company have guaranteed. Bank of Montreal is the primary lender on a $120 million credit line available to the Village Voice chain. SF Weekly has repeatedly attempted to use the Bank of Montreal loan as a shield to defeat Bay Guardian, however, the Court has repeatedly rejected that argument.


“We consider this to be a very significant step towards the collection of our judgment,” said the Bay Guardian’s Bruce Brugmann. “The Village Voice folks first claimed that we would never collect anything, then they claimed that we would never collect more than a few thousand dollars, but the amount that we will now be collecting is certainly very significant.”


Since the Village Voice chain has refused to post an appellate bond which would guarantee payment if the judgment is upheld on appeal, the Bay Guardian has continued to actively pursue the collection of the amount due as permitted by law where no bond has been posted.  Extraordinary attempts by the Village Voice chain to avoid the judgment, including filing a  lawsuit in Delaware that sought to stop all California collection proceedings, have  been unsuccessful in blocking the Bay Guardian’s collection efforts.


In recent weeks, the Bay Guardian has succeeded in collection efforts that involved auctioning off two of the SF Weekly’s vans, seizing monthly income that the SF Weekly was receiving from its subtenants, and placing a lien on the approximately 14 newspapers owned by New Times Media LLC nationwide.  Additional collection proceedings will be heard by various courts during the next couple of months unless the judgment of more than $20 million is paid.


 

Zambaleta dances from day into night

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Story and photos by Elise-Marie Brown

From the depths of the Mission District rose a 12-hour Carnaval event on Saturday. Hosted by Zambaleta, a new world music and dance school, it brought infectious dancing, live samba music, drinks and traditional Latin American cuisine.

The event began at 11 a.m., offering improvisational sketches, Hafla, Flamenco dancing and a Turkish marching precession. The aroma of ambrosial $2 tamales was the air of the large but cozy studio, as patrons sipped sangria and swayed to the rhythms of the congas. The sides of the room were adorned with iridescent lights and vibrant multi-color banners, giving life to the converted dance hall. Red, white and green doors were pianted on the walls, creating a dancing-in-the-streets atmosphere.

Live music reigned supreme towards the end of the night, as guests twirled and stomped on the dance floor to the sounds of Colombia Parranda with Tambores de Colombia. Whether it was the echoing voice of the singer or the rumbling punch of the bass, almost everyone in the room felt the music one way or another. Some of the more shy guests stood in the back as the, while others in the front took to the dance floor as if it was their second home.

The last performance to top off the evening was a Samba dance led by Blocura. With only the rattles of beaded gourds and chest-pumping beat of the drums, four dancers jumped in front of the middle and proceeded to dip, turn and clap as they everyone in the final dance of the night. The crowd quickly caught on and soon turned into a sea of bodies moving in unison, as cheers and whistles. People left with sweat tearing down their cheeks and smiles of elation, an indicator that this new gem in the Mission is here to stay.

Flirty gay Saudi fake cop goes viral, may be killed

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It may be a death wish, but you can’t stop the queen. Via Towleroad, this video of a 27-year-old guy having a bit of fun blew up in Saudi Arabia, and the participants have been arrested and charged with “homosexuality,” “general security,” and impersonating a cop. Homosexuality is still considered a capital offense in Saudi Arabia. But, you know, we really need the oil. Great hair flip at 1:45.

Live Shots: Literary Death Match, Elbo Room, 02/12/2010

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In honor of the upcoming installment of the Bay’s wondrous Literary Death Match — Fri/12, 6:30, $10 at Elbo Room, 647 Valencia, SF. — here are some pics from last month’s raucous Valentine’s Day edition. It was a fight for love … to the death! 

Urethra, frankly

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Dear Andrea:

I have always had an interest in inserting thin objects into my urethra, and now manage a large-diameter pencil. It really feels thrilling, and depending on the mood, I tend to orgasm. My question is: how much can the urethra in a woman stretch? I have also inserted the same into my cervix; are there dangers in either?

Love,

Intrepid Explorer

Dear Ex:

There is no question that the urethra, or at least its surrounding tissue, is sexually sensitive.

Ernest Gräfenburg’s orginal break-out paper was called “The Role Of Urethra in Female Orgasm” and figured the locus of internal vaginal sensitivity (later called the G-spot) to be the area of nerve-rich erectile tissue wedged between the urethra and the upper wall of the vagina. You stimulate the paraurethral area though the vagina. There’s no reason it shouldn’t work from the other direction. Except for that pesky business about the vagina being thickly muscled, tough, flexible, and dead-ended, while the urethra is relatively inflexible and fragile and leads directly into the bladder, which leads to the kidneys, which you do not want to mess with. But assuming you are real and really female, you have already done this and lived to tell. Yay for you. Your job now is either to quit it (recommended) or find a very clean and safe way to do it.

I was intrigued to hear from a physician (this was 10 or so years back, but not, like, 40 years back) that little girls are routinely brought to emergency departments with hairpins in their urethras. Let’s say that “hairpin” was just shorthand for “small, easily accessible, and inappropriate random object” and consider why it’s a bad idea: small things get lost; easily accessible random objects are dirty; and small, dirty objects loose in your urinary tract will cause infection and may cause perforations. Either way, you would end up in the ER. The only appropriate object for urethral insertion is a urethral sound, or something as smooth, appropriately sized, long-handled, and sterilizable as a urethral sound. Does any of that say “Use a pencil!” to you?

As for the cervical insertion: I will admit that it ought to be technically possible. The cervix, even in a woman who’s never been pregnant, is closed-ish but not entirely closed, and it waxeth and waneth like the moon. You do hear of people doing cervix “play” or see pictures of such things on the Internet. But that does not mean you should do it.

For one thing, there’s pain. If you have never had a baby or a miscarriage (I have had both, and may I add OMG) or really horrible menstrual cramps, you have no idea how much having your uterus cranked open hurts. That muscular organ, inevitably referred to as “fist-sized,” is usually clenched down tight, and for a reason. Anything introduced in there can perforate, causing peritonitis and possible death, or just plain infect, causing peritonitis and possible death. If you do not want to risk peritonitis and possible death, please just leave your cervix alone. It has a job to do and does not need you interfering with it.

Love,

Andrea

See Andrea’s other column at carnalnation.com.

 

Hump Day headliner: Six reasons to revisit Thee Oh Sees

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So maybe you’ve seen them before and maybe you haven’t. Thee Oh Sees — performing at El Rio tonight (Wed/10) with Ty Segall, The Fresh & Onlys, and The Baths — are no doubt a San Francisco garage-rock, lo-fi staple that demand you re-sample, swish, and spit for a full taste.

The sound is vintage rock and roll, psychedelic, and ratty. If you’re contemplating staying home on Wednesday night, find someone to give you a swift kiss in the ass and aim for El Rio. Did you really just ask why?

1.    Vocalist John Dwyer’s semi-psychotic lurching and mic swallowing always entertains.
2.    Hot rock chicks with sweat on their brow.
3.    Similar to an ideal one-night stand: Rough. Loud. Vicious. Dirty.
4.    There’s a chance Dwyer could bust out a flute.
5.    You’ll have a legit excuse to skip yoga (or work) in the morning.
6.    Cheap whisky and cheaper beer taste so much better mid-week.

Thee Oh Sees w/The Fresh & Onlys, Ty Segall, The Baths
Wed/10, 8pm, $7
El Rio
3158 Mission Street, SF
www.elriosf.com

Steampunk convention tinkers mightily

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Steampunk has been described as a “step sideways in time.” It’s certainly not a regressive subculture- one peek at the kinds of clockwork corsetry and hydraulics operated moving machines that steampunk tinkerers fashion will convince you of that- but rather, a rethinking of where technology could have led us. It’s a topic that’s figuring prominently in the minds of many these days, which means this year’s New Albion Steampunk Exhibition (begins Fri/12) promises to be more whiz-bang than ever.

Picture, if you will, a mass of punks and nonconventional individuals in Victorian garb and laboriously created wings, monocles, wrist weaponry and whatnot, all milling about to waltz music in a very conventional hotel convention space. Surely, unsuspecting squares of Emeryville will be freaked.

Three tracks will guide tinkerers through the exhibition; one for DIY-ers, one for those with an ear for scholarly discussions of steampunk and another that focuses on the give-and-take of expert panel discussions on the culture. Participants can also pick and choose among the bounty- after all, who could miss discussions on steampunk philosophy featuring the movement’s great literati, James Blaylock? Or a rundown of the history of man powered submarines, classes on leather working, the regal history of steampunk, a panel who will dissect and illuminate “steampunk garb for life on a budget,” a look at the observatory as “science temple”, a museum of curiousities? Impossible, you must go to all.

After the learning, ballrooms galas and drink and meets will keep participants busy, just like at any other convention. Well, except for the fact that this gala will include prizes for the “most workable wearable invention” and meet and greets will center around self propelled three story Victorian houses and feature drinks served by robots.

Just a simple step sideways, really. 

Now Albion Steampunk Exhibition

Fri/12 (through Sun/14), $20-50

Hilton Garden Inn

1800 Powell, Emeryville

www.steampunkexhibition.com

Oil company profits vs. education

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I like Darrell Steinberg’s idea: The people protesting cuts in education should sign on to the oil-severance tax bill, and then force the Republicans to decide whether they want to protect the oil companies or fund public education.


Not that the crazy no-new-taxes folks will come around and do the right thing, but the issue will be pretty clear; it’s not, as Gloria Romero argues, a Sophie’s Choice:


We don’t want to cut education. The thing you have to ask is, are you willing to yank the dentures out of the mouths of the elderly? Am I willing to take away that wheelchair?”


It’s oil company profits against the future of the state. Let’s let Meg Whitman run for governor on that platform.


 

Great piece on the fate of public education

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There’s a great piece on Calitics about the fate of public education. It’s not alarminst or conspiratorial, just an accurate assessment of how the radical right wants to destroy public schools (and has ever since the 1950s and the era of desegregation) and how the other arm of the Republican Party, big business, is playing its role. A key passage:


Corporate interests want public education that they don’t have to pay for. They also would love to see the entire education sector privatized and paid for through tax revenue-the only way that supposedly anti-socialist entrepreneurs have made any money in the last decade, the way Blackwater made money, the way the banks made their money, the way private prisons have made theirs. Privatized and milked, yes, but not destroyed.


Therefore, we have reached the point where the interests will part between the two sides of the right. The grand strategy to destroy public education by making people hate it achieves a D-Day size victory every year the teachers’ unions are broken-those silly teachers paying money to lobby for actual good education policy while they’re at it! Because there is no one else that wants to make the public schools something worth saving in the public’s eyes. You’ve heard the criticisms. The teachers that can’t be fired for anything. No “God in school.” The assault on science, which both works to antagonize religious parents and the parents of children who want science education. They want to keep pushing it to the tipping point.


Pretty soon, parents start wanting to send their kids to the charter school funded by big corporate money or the private school that teaches that dinosaurs are 5,000 years old. A whole new segregation appears. The grand strategy succeeds.


Big Business has a choice. They can realize that public sector workers are no threat to them since they don’t employ them and they keep the infrastructure running that gives them a country where they can make money and live a big life, or they can watch it burn.


Worth reading. Check it out.

Guardian, ACLU, Asian Law Caucus seeks FBI surveillance records

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The Guardian is joining the Northern California ACLU and the Asian Law Caucus in seeking records of the FBI’s investigation of Muslim communities.


We’re asking the federal government to turn over documents related to the FBI’s use of informants and infiltrators (reportedly used in gyms, community centers and mosques, investigations of Muslim leaders and imams in Northern California and attempts to recruit Muslim and Arab American children.


From a press release announcing our FOIA request:


According to civil rights organizations, community members, and media reports, the FBI has engaged in a deliberate plan to infiltrate Muslim communities through the use of informants and covert actions. Tensions are especially high between the FBI and Muslim groups following the death of Imam Luqman Ameen Abdullah, a Detroit cleric who was killed under questionable circumstances during an FBI raid in October 2009. 
“When there are repeated and widespread reports that the FBI is building a dragnet that is detrimental to the lives of innocent Americans, the ACLU and other civil rights organizations must step in,” said Julia Harumi Mass, staff attorney of the ACLU-NC. “The first step is to see all the records regarding the planning and implementation of any such spying and surveillance programs, including those that target children and have a potential chilling effect on free speech and religious practices.”


We’re asking for expedited processing so the public can see how taxpayer dollars are used on surveillance and other covert activities.


The response we get will be a good test of how seriously the Justice Department takes President Obama’s order to make government documents accessible unless there’s a very good reason not to.


We’ll keep you posted. You can read the FOIA letter here.(PDF)

iPod Voyeur: Holly Miranda’s top 10 most-played artists

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A single moment of Holly Miranda’s voice has the capacity to freeze each and every muscle in your body for a good three to 35 minutes, causing your current plan of action to come to a furious halt, steering your concentration solely toward contemplating how on earth you haven’t been listening to Miranda’s music Monday to Sunday and back again.

The New York solo artist is currently on tour with Canadian sisters Tegan and Sara, but will be making a solo stop at the Café du Nord tonight (Tue/9), a perfect opportunity to have your mind blown by beauty. Formerly of the band The Jealous Girlfriends, Miranda is bringing her solo project The Magician’s Private Library (XL) to eager listeners, reminding them of the butterflies anxiously fluttering in their stomachs the first time they heard Nina Simone or Cat Power.

Delicate whispers of slumber and tangled dreams, abstract lyrics rising to an emotion-driven falsetto: Miranda’s music was made for your lungs, to be breathed in and out, fully entering your body as one element and leaving as another. Curious to know where the songstress derives her current inspiration, I asked Miranda to offer up the artists on her iPod’s Top Ten Most Played:

1.    Little Dragon
2.    The Antlers
3.    Sade
4.    Nina Simone
5.    The xx
6.    Fela Kuti
7.    Neon Indian
8.    Lee Hazlewood
9.    Jenny Wilson
10.     Eferklang

It’s a lot to take in, but shows the ravenous breadth of this up-and-comer’s interests.

Holly Miranda
w/Foxtail Somersault and Tortured Genies
Tues/9, 8:30pm
Café Du Nord
2174 Market Street, SF
www.cafedunord.com

Guardian reporter’s inside story on arrested protesters

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Story and photos by Jobert Poblete

I thought I was keeping a safe distance, observing Day of Action protesters as they went onto Interstate 880 to block traffic rather than participating, until a line of riot cops came barreling towards where I stood by the side of a freeway offramp. But my flight instinct took over, and I found myself running along northbound 880 with my notebook and pen still in my hands. What had been an impressive but otherwise peaceful protest was taking a surreal turn. But maybe I should start from the beginning.

As a recent UC Berkeley grad, I had been on campus many times in the last few months, invited by friends to support the occupations and protests that were fueling an extraordinary movement to defend public education. So I was excited to go out on March 4th to cover the Day of Action in the East Bay. This was a new experience for me. Like any good Berkeley grad, I’ve participated in my share of protests, but now I was a Bay Guardian news intern and this was the first time I was going out as a reporter.

There was a lot to be impressed with that day. In Berkeley, activists had succeeded in creating a broad coalition made up of graduate and undergraduate students, faculty, union members, lecturers, and campus workers and staff. These constituencies were well-represented Thursday morning.

Berkeley organizers were also working to expand their movement beyond the university. Callie Maidhof, a graduate student in anthropology, told me that March 4th is the “first attempt to organize beyond a single system, to organize across California, across the public education systems, and across the nation.”

On the four and a half mile march from Berkeley to downtown Oakland, there was plenty of evidence that they were succeeding. As the Berkeley contingent marched down Telegraph Ave., it was joined by middle school and high school students who brought their own concerns about teacher layoffs and program cuts.

At the rally in Oakland, I spoke to high school students who had walked out of their schools to participate. Sophomore Sienee Dakina from Oakland’s Envision Academy told me that her school lost three teachers because of budget cuts. “We feel like it’s not right,” Dakina said. “We’re losing our teachers.” Ninth graders Victoria Romero and Andrea Barba from Life Academy told me that they were protesting so that the school district would “not take our dreams away.”

When the rally ended, some people were headed to San Francisco to take part in the big rally at Civic Center. I knew that there would already be Guardian reporters there, so I decided to stay in Oakland for what was being billed as an after-protest dance party and “snake march.”

The dance party started around 4:30 with a couple hundred people taking Broadway accompanied by a mobile sound system, black flags, and large banners that declared “We Have Decided Not to Die” and “Occupy Everything.” For the first time that day, I saw riot cops in full force. I read these as signs that something dramatic was probably in store. The dance party wound its way through downtown Oakland, stopping in front of the UC Office of the President before heading towards West Oakland.

I was at the back of the march, talking to an Oakland teacher who was telling me about layoffs at his school, when the police started warning the crowd that they could face arrest. I fell behind and was playing catch-up as a group of around 150 people took to the freeway. I decided to stick by the offramp and watched as a bicyclist, who appeared to be riding on the freeway away from the march, got violently tackled by a fast-moving line of cops.

It was at this point that another line of cops started up the offramp and I fled up the freeway. An officer on a motorcycle yelled at me to continue and join the protesters or face arrest. I ran to catch up with the crowd, which was in chaos as the police approached. (I later learned that, in the chaos, a local high school student fell off the elevated highway and was taken to Highland Hospital with serious injuries.) I saw two kids – perhaps as young as 12 or 13 – trying to get away on skateboards. I was with a cluster of journalists as a line of cops and a blur of batons fell upon a group on the far side of the southbound lanes. We retreated to the dividing wall, me still clutching my pen and notebook, holding my hands in the air.

We were ordered to lay on the ground. My pen was still out so I continued taking notes. An officer noticed me and ordered me up. I explained that I was a reporter and offered to show him proof of my affiliation with the Guardian. “But you’re on a freeway,” he said. “You’re under arrest.” He did help me secure my notes and camera.

I was handcuffed and ordered to kneel on the side of the highway with the protesters, next to a friend from Berkeley, a graduate student at the journalism school. We knelt for hours waiting for the buses that would take us to Glenn Dyer jail in Oakland and Santa Rita jail in Dublin. A handful of stranded motorists cheered, presumably for the protesters, and in one of the lofts next to the freeway, a resident had posted a sign that said “FUCK U Protesters.”

I was sent to Santa Rita with around 100 of those arrested on the freeway. We were informed that we would be charged with misdemeanors and released, but it was clear that our numbers had overwhelmed the jail’s systems. Deputies told us that we would be in there for 10 hours. Ten hours turned into 20, most of that time spent in a cold concrete cell, seven feet long and seven feet wide, with 14 other inmates. There wasn’t room for all of us to lie down at the same time. The fluorescent lights were kept on all night, and I was disoriented, groggy.

The sheriff’s deputies joked about IEDs and half-heartedly threatened us with prison clichés. An agent with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement visited my cell and questioned me and another person of color, asking us for our names and where we were born. My cell mates, worried about the possibility that an undocumented student had been arrested, discussed whether we should refuse to answer their questions. An inmate in a nearby cell hurled obscenities at the “protesters.” But most of the other inmates were merely curious. A few held up their fists in solidarity as they were led past our cell.

I shared cells with a diverse group of people, some I had known for years: a teacher’s aid, a Berkeley freshman computer science major, a veteran, an older man who called himself a communist, and a handful of community college students from Modesto. There were a number of other journalists: two stringers working for Democracy Now!, a reporter from the Daily Californian, and a friend who was covering the protest for Indybay.org. I had seen other journalists with big video rigs on the freeway, but one of the other arrestees told me that they had been allowed to leave.

We passed the time as best we could. The Berkeley computer science major taught us how to fold origami cranes. One of the other reporters gave an impromptu teach-in about some Bay Area residents imprisoned in Iran. We took advantage of the concrete cell’s unique acoustic properties by humming harmonies. A few cells over, the women agitated for food and we got bologna sandwiches and a strange powdered juice that tasted like the color yellow. Mostly, we tried to sleep, in fetal positions, sitting up, or curled around the toilet using our arms, shoes, and rolls of TP for pillows.

There were also discussions about the movement: how to make it broader, how best to organize and make decisions, and what should come next. It was clear to me that many of the people I was with did not know that they would end up on a freeway, but if there were any regrets, no one in my cell let that on. One man commented that the movement was getting bigger – earlier protests had resulted in dozens of arrests, but this one had 150 people taking a freeway. Another said that only the movement “intellectuals” were taking militant action. A community college student objected to that point. Earlier, he had joked about the $6 increase in his fees, but now he spoke bitterly and passionately about how he considered himself working class and not an intellectual. The budget cuts had made him feel that a quality education at a UC was getting further from his grasp.

I was not released until around 4 p.m. on Friday, charged with two misdemeanors – unlawful assembly and obstructing a public place – and ordered to appear in court April 5. Outside the jail, a small crowd of supporters had been gathered all day and it did not take long to find a familiar face and a ride back home.

A friend who had worked through the night to rally support and secure attorneys told me that a lot of students were upset about what had happened. They were critical about what they called a lack of planning and angry that protesters had been led into an action they did not fully understand and did not fully prepare for.

But the freeway action also showed how far the movement has come. Resistance to the budget cuts has spilled out of the universities and gotten bigger, broader, and, yes, perhaps more foolhardy. From my vantage point on that elevated highway, the movement has definitely upped the ante and more and more people are calling the bet.

Laura Veirs gets excited for summer

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Classic finger-picking and Laura Veirs’ girly vocals characterize the feather-light songs she’s written about sweet summer days on her seventh album, July Flame. The songs explore desire and happiness in stripped-down folk form, caressing questionable emotions with scents of firewood smoke, extended sunshine, and humid mid-summer evenings – all named after a variety of peach Veirs spied at her local farmer’s market. After 10 years in the music business, touring is nothing new to the Portland artist, but the trip supporting this album is different for two reasons: first, this album is being called her best; and second, Veirs is eight months pregnant. I caught Veirs on the phone on a Sunday afternoon, when she was taking a break at her parents’ place in Colorado, to chat about the album and the experience of touring while expecting.

“I’ve been really tired,” she says, noting she’s made lots of time for rest and good food. “And I can’t lift the amps.” Also, her huge baby bump pushes her guitar out at an awkward angle. Otherwise, though, the mom-to-be says touring prego hasn’t been much trouble. As for the album, she offered a few thoughts, compiled below in list form:

  • Veirs listened to The Beatles, The Shins, and lots of country-blues while writing July Flame.
  • Veirs isn’t a fan of writing expeditions, but she does like to “go out into the world and be awake.”
  • Her favorite place to visit: The Gorge for seagazing and Forest Park for an inner-city woodsy retreat
  • She and the band are currently covering Fleetwood Mac’s “Never Goin’ Back Again.”
  • July Flame is being called her best work and she agrees. “It’s taken me a long time to feel comfortable singing,” she says, “but I think there’s finally an underlying relaxed quality to my voice.”
  • The album often references smoke and flame, and nighttime creatures like bats and moths that fly around in the night pollinating.
  • Although summer is the overarching theme, the album’s mood isn’t all smiles. “It can be melancholy any time of year,” she says. “This album features a variety of emotions, not all just happy.”
  • Veirs wrote songs for July Flame on a variety of instruments, including a baritone guitar, banjo, and piano. She says, “It’s like changing colors or mediums as an artist, or switching to watercolors instead of oil paints.”

Laura Veirs w/Halls of Flames

Wed/10, 9pm

$15

Café du Nord

2174 Market, SF

www.cafedunord.com

Newsom’s silly trick

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Gavin Newsom’s got a plan: He’s going to stop those damn district-elected progressives from appoining a new mayor even if it takes some wacky legal footwork. According to the Chron’s Matier and Ross:


For the past two weeks, Newsom’s political team has been combing the state Constitution to determine if the mayor, assuming he’s elected statewide, could legally push back his Jan. 3 swearing-in for the new job until after Jan. 8.


If he can, the job of naming his successor would go to the newly elected Board of Supervisors, which is sworn in Jan. 8, instead of the current lineup.


I don’t know where that team is looking in the state Constitution, but the language seems pretty clear to me. Article V, section 2, provides that the “Governor shall be elected every fourth year…and hold office from the Monday after January 1….” In 2011, that’s Jan. 3. It also says (article V, section 11) that “The Lieutenant Governor, Attorney General, Controller, Secretary of State, and Treasurer shall be elected at the same time and places and for the same term as the Governor.”


And since the mayor of San Francisco is, by Charter, a full-time job, Newsom can’t be both mayor and lt. governor. Which means, I think, that he’s got to start the new job Jan. 3, and the new Board of Supervisors doesn’t take office until a week later.


There’s another twist here: The City Charter discusses a “vacancy” in the office of mayor, and authorizes the Board of Supervisors to select someone to fill the remainder of a vacant term. If Newsom wins in November, it will be clear that a vacancy is looming — and there’s no reason why the supervisors can’t pass a motion right away designating the person who they intend to have fill that vacancy. In other words, this current board could select the next mayor even before Newsom officially resigns.


Now, it’s also true that the motion wouldn’t become effective until the mayor actually left office, and could be rescinded at any time up until that moment. But if the supervisors find six votes for a candidate, and designate that person as Newsom’s successor, it’s unlikely the board would decide to change its mind and rescind in just a few weeks.


And even if all that doesn’t fly, there’s a very good chance that progressives will still control the next board. Four progressive supes will carry over — Ross Mirkarimi, John Avalos, Eric Mar and David Campos. If progressive candidates win two of the three swing races — in districts 6, 8 and 10 — then the overall politics of the board won’t change dramatically.


So there’s actually a chance that a progressive mayor could take office next January. Whether Newsom likes it or not


 



 

“Original Plumbing” reading

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San Francisco’s sexiest new magazine, Original Plumbing, will be hosting a reading at Books Inc. this Thursday for the official launch their much anticipated second issue. Considering the diversity, scope, and increasing visibility of FTM culture, it’s mind-boggling that Original Plumbing — “OP” — is the first magazine of its kind. Now that Original Plumbing is here, let’s ensure that it stays.

Though locally headquartered, OP isn’t limited to the scope of San Francisco. The magazine takes care to address topics, like last year’s Trans March in Paris, that are relevant to the international FTM community. Politically charged as it is, OP is also visually compelling on an aesthetic level that you don’t have to be gay to appreciate. Amos Mac’s explicit photography of FTM bodies are the perfect conceptual counterparts to OP‘s literal content. Throughout all of this, OP is full of fun and lighthearted, campy humor. Even the sex readers are made so aware of refuses to take itself too seriously. Judging from the manscaping-themed second issue (titled “Hair Issue”), beefcake is an integral aspect of OP‘s editorial philosophy.

Incapable as I am of resisting a burly seduction, the following sneak peak already has me impressed.

Among other things, OP‘s second issue will feature an interview with the ever-supportive Margaret Cho (“She’s enTRANsed!” screams the blurb), a spotlight on the 2009 Paris Trans March, and a piece on writer T. Cooper. As accompaniment to divinely hirsute “Ayden” (who combines two of my favorite things in one convenient package: myopia + a hair vest), a new crop of FTM eye candy will be introduced in issue two and I have been promised that they will be present at the event for you to admire.

Dirty Stories with Original Plumbing: A Reading
“Celebrate Issue #2 with Books Inc and the OP guys”
Thurs/11, 7:30pm (ends at 8:30pm)
www.originalplumbing.com

Live Shots: San Francisco Bombers vs. Red Devils, Kezar Pavilion, 03/06/10

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Guardian photographer and writer Charles Russo sent over these pics of this Saturday’s roller derby match between the San Francisco Bombers and Brooklyn’s Red Devils.

Newsom’s Orwellian doublespeak on city layoffs

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One of the things that irritates people most about Mayor Gavin Newsom is his Orwellian doublespeak, in which he makes claims that conflict with his actions, and that was on vivid display with his recent decision to lay off 15,000 city workers and then hire most of them back for shorter workweeks.

These are frontline workers (managers, cops, and firefighters were excluded) who will either be fired or take a 6.25 percent pay cut – while the public will see a rollback in the hours devoted to providing city services – but Newsom’s press release claims that he’s actually helping both the workers and the public.

“Mayor Newsom used his YouTube update this week to discuss the City’s budget and his plan to save thousands of city jobs and services by offering 37.5 hour part time positions to most city employees. This proposal will allow the City to maintain services for residents, while saving the City an estimated $50 million. San Francisco faces a projected $522 million budget deficit for the 2010-11 fiscal year.” the press release, which was sent out on Saturday (presumably so the media ignores it), begins.

As the Chronicle reported that day, none of the affected employees are happy about this “offer” they can’t refuse, and their unions are even talking about suing the city. As for this plan to “maintain services,” that’s based simply on Newsom’s demand that city employees – who, because of the layoffs in previous years, are often already doing several people’s jobs – do 40 hours of work in 37.5 hours.

Now, this reduced workweek plan might not be so terrible if Newsom had worked on it with the unions, made deeper cuts to senior management and his taxpayer-paid political team in recent years, coupled it with a push to try to increase local taxes, and been honest about its impact to city services and the local economy.

Instead, we hear that we must burn the village in order to save it, which was dubbed the “enlightened approach” in the press release (which failed to mention that Newsom plans to not rehire an unspecified number of the employees he’s firing). “The point is to keep people employed and to keep their benefits,” Big Brother Newsom said in the press release.

Later in the release, Newsom goes on to laud Thursday’s Day of Action events, in which speaker after speaker called for increased taxes on wealthy corporations and individuals in order to prevent continued cuts to the public education system – despite the fact that Newsom has been the single biggest obstacle in San Francisco to such tax increases. “They’re shutting down opportunities. Its [sic] impacted faculty, its [sic] impacted morale, and it’s going to devastate the economy of the state unless we wake up and say enough’s enough,” Newsom said, sounding like the sympathetic populist instead the mayor who has proudly touted the fact that his budgets haven’t raised taxes, relying entirely on cuts.

Big Brother couldn’t have said it better himself.

Appetite: Taking vodka to the next level

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On February 22, 42 Below Cocktail Competition at the Regency Center was nicely spread out in two large rooms, plenty of space to taste and view bartenders make New Zealand vodka creations. Some of our best local talent competed to go to nationals, which take place in NYC, then on to finals which happen in 42 Below‘s native land, New Zealand.

It takes skill to bring layers of flavor out of vodka and this group delivered. Certainly, there were other spirits mixed in and some real creativity set to a rowdy, live rockabilly/punk band. Congrats to the two winners: Michael Callahan of Gitane, created a fresh, aperitif-like concoction using, among other things, lemon and fennel root. Josh Harris, of 15 Romolo, once again pulled a win with his nuanced “Bridge to Terabithia” (loved that book as a kid), which contained everything from his own fennel syrup to 42 Below’s Kiwi Vodka, dusted with masala chai.

Josh Harris goes for the win. Photo by Virginia Miller.

I loved straight-from-the-orchard apple freshness of Spruce’s Brandon Clements’ cocktail – his answer (or welcome antidote?) to Apple-tini requests. I commend the use of cherry jalapenos in Chase Williamson’s (of 21st Amendment) Wha Rua (“42″ in Maori).

My favorite was also the biggest adventure: Tavern at Lark Creek’s Joseph Parrilli’s Waggle Dance (name inspired by bee action) is a floral/sweet creation of vodka, Fever Tree ginger beer, wildflower bitters, Wedderspoon Manuka raw honey, topped with sugar-crusted, gold-dusted bees. Yes, bumble bees (stinger removed). I dove right in an ate one. Cute, crunchy, without much flavor, it’s kind of like eating a grasshopper, like I’ve had in Southeast Asia.

Sonic Reducer Overage: Holly Miranda, Quasi, SambaDa, and more

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Rain, rain go away — and gird your damp loins for more music than we could fit into print.

Holly Miranda
The Detroit-bred singer-songwriter sleeps on fire, walks on water, judging from the angelic Magician’s Private Library (XL), produced by her pal Dave Sitek. With Foxtail Somersault and Tortured Genies. Tues/9, 9:30 p.m., $10. Cafe du Nord, 2170 Market, SF. (415) 861-5016.

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
The Bay Area-born band hones a rawer, more rustic sound with a new drummer, Leah Shapiro, and new long-player, Beat the Devil’s Tattoo (Abstract Dragon/Vagrant). With the Whigs (and Cellar Doors Wed/10). Tues/9, 8 p.m., Wed/10, 7:30 p.m., $30. Slim’s, 333 11th St., SF. (415) 522-0333. Wed/10, 6 p.m., free. Amoeba Music, 1855 Haight, SF. (415) 831-1200.


Quasi
The finest tune with the title “Repulsion” since Dinosaur Jr.’s opens the new American Gong (Kill Rock Stars) by the duo-turned-trio. Wed/10, 8 p.m., $12-$14. Independent, 628 Divisadero, SF. (415) 771-1422.

Basia Bulat
She’s the sweetest autoharp-strumming songwriter to blow down from Toronto in many a day. Wed/10, 9 p.m., $12. Hotel Utah, 500 Fourth St., SF. (415) 546-6300.

Balkan Beat Box
Gogol playthings will break out those bellydance moves for the gypsy-punk-electronic super-colliding offshoot. Mon/15, 8 p.m., $22.50. Fillmore, 1805 Geary, SF. (415) 346-6000.

SambaDa
Dance is at the root of the Santa Cruz combo, led by capoeira master Papiba Godinho — and dance they all will at this show celebrating the release of the new self-released Gente! Sat/13, 9 p.m., Independent, 628 Divisadero, SF. (415) 771-1422.

Chelsea Handler bang bangs

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Witness, if you will, the cast of the Jersey Shore‘s interview with Chelsea Handler. “I was excited to see what your body looked like in person, and I must admit I’m pleased,” Handler greeted Snookie, MTV’s bowling-ball-shaped Guidette. The host immediately progressed to feeling the neo Italian clan’s gel heavy coifs and commenting on Snookie’s famous roundhouse to the face made famous by the show.

It was an inspired conversation. The Jersey Shore cabal is blessed with a singular sense of humor about the deprecating whirlwind of fame that surrounds them these days, and Handler has built a career on being frank with her party girl lifestyle. After all, one of her three books was titled Are you there Vodka? It’s me, Chelsea. As the only female in the late night television game, lady’s got to be tough. And her show Chelsea Lately, a cross between the standard interview format and entertainment news hash-out, has carved a niche for itself based largely on Handler’s biting wit, self awareness and willingness to take it there. It continues to soar in ratings and ad revenue, even from its non traditional nest on the E! network. She’s bringing the noise to Davies Symphony Hall this weekend (Fri/12), so raise your glass to the lady of sass. 

San Francisco Bay Guardian: It’s already been quite the year. Which celebrity news story of 2010 have you had the best time covering on “Chelsea Lately”?

Chelsea Handler: I guess Tiger Woods. That story officially started in 2009, but it’s carried over into this year. He made my job easy for weeks. I didn’t need to think, I just needed to go on line and there would be a new VIP hostess telling yet another humiliating story about him giving her an extra big tip.

SFBG: Your upcoming stand up show sold out real fast in SF- so fast you scheduled a second. The gays just love them some Chelsea, don’t they?

CH: I think they all assume deep down I’m a lesbian. Which I’m not…unless you count college, which I didn’t even go to.

 

SFBG: Is this what you wanted to be when you grew up?

CH: I just knew I wanted to leave New Jersey. I couldn’t handle my father humiliating me anymore. I figured I’d either do something in the entertainment industry or take over for Julie McCoy on the Love Boat. I just always wanted to sit on the Captain at the Captain’s table. Once that dream died, I went for plan B…not the morning after pill; my actual plan B.

 

SFBG: I just got done reading “Memoirs of a Beatnik” by Diane di Prima and the author was sharing her sex life in explicit detail even back then in the 1960s. Will the kind of sexually up front, unapologetic humor that you do ever NOT be considered shocking, coming from a woman?

CH: I don’t think so. For some people, sure…but there will always be a large percentage of people who think a woman shouldn’t talk so openly about those things. I just disagree. Once I figured out what I could pull off in a room by myself, I knew finding a boy to do it with could only make my discovery that much better. Why wouldn’t I want to talk about it? If talking about sex saves at least one virgin in her late twenties from carrying out that whole “not before marriage” thing, then my work is done.

 

SFBG: I read an online review of “My Horizontal Life” that suggested the book might “inspire bad girls to more bad behavior”- but what is a ‘bad girl,’ nowadays?

CH: The only “Bad Girls” I know are the one from that Oxygen show, and they seem really annoying.

 

SFBG: Your show devotes a large amount of time to celebrity news, or rather, to mocking our obsession with celebrity news. Has there ever been a time when you’ve felt the brunt of paparazzi or had a ridiculous story about you hit the news?

CH: Perez Hilton once reported that I had vaginal rejuvenation surgery. So, there’s that.

 

SFBG: How do you get the celebrity guests on your show to get off the talking points they walked in with?

CH: The person that prepares the interview usually lets the guest know that I like to talk about things that wouldn’t normally be talked about on other late night shows. I think they’re usually prepared for my sense of humor. I don’t necessarily want to know about somebody’s new role in a movie, but I would like to know how they got their body or who they porked on set. So I just ask.

 

SFBG: You’re not exactly tip-toeing around a lot of your guests’ egos on the show- has anyone ever had an adverse reaction to your brand of humor?

CH: Probably, but that’s why I don’t read my e-mails.

 

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang Tour

Fri/12 10:30 p.m., $49.50- 75.50

Davies Symphony Hall

201 Van Ness, SF

(415) 864-6000

www.livenation.com

Zaccho Dance keeps it in the family

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Thirty years of surviving and thriving in an area as competitive as dance, and twenty year of community involvement is more than enough of a reason for a party. Let’s say a big gala with invited donors who can help balance the budget? A retrospective of what has gone well? Nope. That’s not how Joanna Haigood’s head works. For her, it’s a reason for “Family Day,” an open house for the community with classes for the youngest and those a little stiff around the edges. So how about Movement and Storytelling for kids, hip-hop for teens, a Dance Work Out for a sedentary parent, and Circus Art for grandma. She won’t swing from the trapeze, but her spirit will get a boost. Each 45-minute class starts on the hour, and food and refreshments are provided.

Sat/6, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., free

Zaccho Dance Theatre Studio

1777 Yosemite, Studio 330, SF

(415) 822-6744

www.zaccho.org

 

 

Making the protests count

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It was wonderful to see so many people all over the state taking to the streets to protest cuts in education and public services. The rally at San Francisco’s Civic Center wasn’t just young radical agitators, either — most of the people there were parents with kids, families, people who are just fed up with the threats to the future of this state and don’t want to take it any more.


And now that the press and public and maybe even the elected officials are focused on the issue, it’s time to move to the next step. Politicians can talk all they want about “standing with the families” and supporting education, but in the end, there’s only one way to adequately fund K-12 and higher education in California. And that’s to raise taxes.


You can talk about waste all you want, and there’s certainly waste at the University of California. But we’re looking at a need that runs into the billions, multiple billions, tens of billions — and eliminating a few million bucks of waste here and there isn’t going to solve the problem.


You’re not going to solve it by reallocating the state’s budget money, either, since there’s no single large pot of cash that can be taken and given to the schools without devastating another necessary public service. The only real possibility is the prison system, a financial sink hole if ever there were one — but again: You can’t just cut prison spending by eliminating services to prisoners. They get so little as it is — and the federal courts won’t allow any reductions in health care and the state’s already under court order to reduce overcrowding.


You could probably solve half of the schools’ fiscal problems by releasing from prison every single inmate serving time for a drug offense; that’s the kind of dramatic steps we’re talking about. And if anyone wants to launch a political campaign to let 30,000 prisoners free tomorrow, I’m with you.


But it’s not going to happen, not in this climate. So the only real option is to get more revenue. That means raising taxes at the state level, repealing Prop. 13 to allow local property tax hikes, or raising taxes at the city level.


And here’s who the protesters need to be targeting:


1. The governor. Arnold Schwarzenegger not only refuses to allow new taxes as part of the budget, he vetoed Sen. Mark Leno’s bill that would have allowed local government to raise its own car taxes. He’s at (916)-445-2841.


2. The Republican leadership of the state Legislature. These folks go into the budget talks with the power of a minority that can block the two-thirds vote required for tax hikes, and they’ve both signed “no new taxes” pledges. These two people are among the single largest reason that the California school are facing such huge cuts. Assemblymember Martin Garrick,  916-319-2074. Senator Dennis Hollingsworth, (916) 651-4036.


3. Attorney General Jerry Brown. He’s running for governor as the Democratic candidate, and he has already announced that he won’t raise taxes and that Prop. 13 is untouchable. He won’t even support Assemblymember Tom Ammiano’s bill to legalize and tax marijuana. He needs to hear from his constituents that those positions won’t fly. (916) 322-3360


4. The mayor of San Francisco. Gavin Newsom is happy to announce that he supports education funding, but he’s never come forward with a single significant new tax increase for the city. Local taxes could be split between the general fund and the schools, and the progressives on the Board of Supervisors are looking for revenue options. Call the mayor and tell him: If Sacramento won’t raise taxes to educate our kids, we’d like to do it at home, in San Francisco. 415-554-6141.


5. Any state or local official who claims to support the schools but won’t publicly endorse and work for higher taxes. Folks, there’s no other way out of this.


And at the next rally, let’s chant: Repeal Prop. 13, Now! Tax the rich in San Francisco — Now!