Sex Blog Archives — Page 20 of 23 — San Francisco Bay Guardian Archive 1966

A Hip Girl’s Guide to UTIs

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April 16, 2009

By Juliette “TMI?” Tang

Cranberry prevention?

I am a chronic sufferer of urinary tract infections. Luckily I have a great doctor who has my local Walgreens on speed dial for the days when I call her crying into the phone for Cipro, otherwise I’d still be wailing on the floor at the moment, rather than spreading the good word on how you can avoid my predicament.

It helps knowing, in a sick way, that no matter how much pain I’m in, I’m not alone. For women, there’s no way around it: more than 50% of us will suffer the agony of a urinary tract infection at some point. And most of the time, this loathsome incursion burrows its way up our urethrae and into our lives, without warning, when we are sexually active. Urinary tract infections are the bane of an active sex life. They are the second most common type of infection in the body, and account for 10 million hospital visits each year (plus 1.5 hospitalizations, and $1 billion in health care costs). Along with unplanned pregnancy, STDs, and shameful flashbacks to what happened last Saturday at the Knock Out, UTIs are another way the universe has of zapping some of the fun out of sex. Luckily, unlike children or other STDs (and it is questionable whether a UTI even counts as an STD), a UTI doesn’t last forever — though when confronted with what feels like someone taking broken glass to the inside of your hoo-ha, forever will feel like a relative term.

alt.sex.column: Parts is parts

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April 14, 2009

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By Andrea Nemerson. View more alt.sex columns here. Email your questions to Andrea: andrea@altsexcolumn.com.

Dear Readers:

These are perennial body parts questions, and I feel I would be somewhat remiss if I didn’t re-answer them every few years. Here are some that have been hanging around waiting for me.

Love,

Andrea

Dear Andrea:

I once tried for half an hour putting my index finger about two inches inside my girlfriend’s vagina, pressing with a "come hither motion" and simultaneously pressing the mound from outside. Unfortunately my partner did not experience any extra pleasure. Maybe I have to try again and again?
Love,

Willing

Dear Will:

Yes, yes, very funny. I’m not entirely sure what she was experiencing, but from your phrasing, which could have been cut and pasted from any one of a thousand how-to Web sites, I think you may have been proceeding a bit by rote there. Rather than printing out some stranger’s directions, how about following hers?

There are plenty of women who don’t have much of the spongy erectile tissue surrounding the urethra and the front of the vagina that we’ve come, for convenience’s sake, to call the G-spot. These women can lie there all day receiving simultaneous come-hither motions and external pressure and only manage to get kind of annoyed with you. If your girlfriend is one of them, I would not suggest "trying again and again" unless you want her to lean forward and swat the top of your head with the TV remote.

You can probably determine whether she is G-spot enabled by letting her guide you. Since the G-spot is, inconveniently, not actually a "hot button," but a collection of tissues sensitive to the touch under certain but not all circumstances, I cannot tell you exactly how to operate it. I’d start once she’s already well turned-on, though, and without impatience or, indeed, goal-orientation. Just kind of slip in there when things are already going well and keep your eyes on her face while you try a little deeper or a little closer in, a little harder and a little softer, a little … oh, you get the picture.

Love,

Andrea

Dear Andrea:

My penis is curved a little. Is that normal, and if not what can I do to straighten it?

Love,

Upwards

Ask a Porn Star: Introducing Wendy Williams, trans sex superstar

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April 14, 2009

6

In which super sexy porn people answer questions — each week — from Bay Area locals
By Justin Juul

Wendy Williams is an award-winning movie star with nearly a half-a-million films under her belt. But that doesn’t mean this month’s featured celebrity is some shallow Hollywood glamour snob… quite the opposite, actually. In fact, it only takes a second of conversation with Williams to realize that she’s really just a down-home southern girl who enjoys the simple things in life.

Williams likes traveling, shopping, advanced social networking and, um…interracial gangbangs. Okay okay okay! So maybe Williams isn’t exactly what you’d call normal, but that’s why she’s so much more intriguing than other media starlets known for dropping their vowels and dipping their thongs. While traditional southern belles like Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, and Brooke Hogan waste their/our time making crappy music, popping pills, and collecting the worst sunglasses you’ve ever seen in your life, Williams keeps it real and focuses her energy on something we can all relate to: steamin’ hot tranny sex. What I’m saying here is that trans porn is better than reality TV and that mainstream pop icons have less talent than the people you see on Fleshbot everyday. I’m also saying that Williams is much cooler than all the girls I mentioned above because she’s an interesting individual with a mind of her own and those other girls are pretty much the opposite of that (although Britney got pretty cool there for a second).

Anyway! Enough with the half-assed shot at social commentary, right? Here’s the Wendy Williams story in a nutshell:

Ex-gay, no way pt. 2: Sexologist Dr. Jallen Rix talks about surviving the ex-gay movement

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April 13, 2009

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The second part of a conversation with Justin Juul about Dr. Rix’s work with the Ex Ex Gay movement — and the answer to that eternal question, “What, exactly, is a sexologist?” Read part 1 here.

Dr. Rix, left, with partner

SFBG: So, after all of this, do your parents still believe you can just switch it up and find yourself a wife?
Rix: Yeah, I think they do. They blur behavior and attraction, you know? Like, they would never say this, but they seem to think that if I could just keep my dick in my pants, I could learn to be normal again. They’re just old, man…and from a totally different time and place.

SFBG: How do they feel about your sexology work?
Rix: You know, they made a point to give me a pat on the back when I graduated with my degree, which is really all I can ask. The thing about my parents is that I know they love me the best they know how. And that has to be good enough because I realize that I’ve been the theological dilemma of their lives. Here’s an example: my sister died of a really rare heart disease when I was sixteen and my mom later told me that her death was easier to handle than my coming out. She apologized later, but still, it’s just obvious that life choices are never going to be easy for them. As far as my sexology stuff goes, they manage to be nice about it, but I don’t think they’re thrilled.

SFBG: So what is a sexologist, exactly?

Rix: Well, if you look around at all the problems in society these days, it seems like the majority of them have to do with pleasure-phobia, sexophobia…just a general fear of following our desires. As a sexologist, I do what I can to help people accept themselves. To answer your question, sexology is the study of what people do sexually and how they feel about it. There are only a handful of schools that award degrees in sexology. You’d be amazed at how little sexual research is done these days. I mean, scientists don’t even know what comes out of females when they ejaculate.

Cruising Craigslist: Muses, models, and art sluts

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April 10, 2009

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Each week, Justin Juul combs the SF Craigslist Personals and Missed Connections for true gems that prove there’s enough love for everyone. View his last installment here

“Fancy a threesome?”

It’s weird when you have one of those crazy jobs that lets you work from your laptop because, after a while, you really do begin to lose touch with whatever lies beyond the cafes, bars, and dining patios in your comfy little art hood. And I’m not talking about that weird alien feeling you get when you go back to Iowa or Michigan for the holidays. No. All it really takes to get a sense for how uh, queer, you’ve become is to take a little trip to Union Square. I mean, the ads for soda pop and fast food are enough to make you puke right off the bat. But dude, what’s up with the luxury industry? Fancy-pants Romanian guys with five-o-clock shadows hawking Rolexes, scrawny chicks with waxy skin pumping hair-care products and denim, David Beckham, Jessica Simpson?! Are these people really supposed to represent the pinnacle of beauty and success? Are they supposed embody what we want to fuck and/or be? Seriously…can you imagine how bad it would suck to hang out with one of these idiots or –even worse– one of their painfully normal admirers?

Obviously, you can. That’s why you holed up in the Mission (or the Lower Haight, or Oakland, or wherever) and that’s why you never go downtown until you have to get your MacBook serviced or buy some crack. It’s also why The Bay Area stands out –parts of it at least—as a hothouse for new beauty ideals. There’s the whips-n-chains bondage set in SoMa, the hula-hooping fire-eaters in The Haight, the buff dudes with Canadian tuxedos in The Castro, and of course, the coveted “super sexy artist type” you find in galleries, museums, and dive bars throughout the city. We all want one of those, right? The problem is that there simply aren’t enough of them to go around. And then of course there’s the flipside: artsy types actually have a hard time finding love themselves because everyone’s too intimidated to ask for a date. No worries. That’s what Craigslist is for.

Bhutan Exhibit – Asian Art Museum (from Tuesday) – w4m (downtown / civic / van ness)
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-04-01, 8:41PM PDT
Hello. This is a total shot in the dark, but it’s worth a try. We were both looking through the Bhutan exhibit by ourselves, but we kept crossing paths. I said something when we were looking at the Phurbas like “these are really amazing!” We kept looking at each other but didn’t talk besides that. You have long, dark beautiful hair, and quiet, soft brown eyes. I had my hair pulled back and was wearing a brown top and jeans. I didn’t see you again after I sat down for a few. I’m curious about you.

Hot girl with long brown hair and a great ass – m4w – 23 (New Montgomery)
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-04-07, 1:16AM PDT
You came out of Academy of Art and used someone’s lighter and walked off. I had the pleasure of walking behind you for the rest of the block. Then I turned. [I just want you to know] this handsome black guy thinks you’re hot!

You were wearing a blue top and blue jeans. I think you might’ve had sunglasses too.

Help a bored artist – m4w – 24 (anywhere)
Reply to: [Redacted]
Date: 2009-03-25, 10:34PM PDT
I am a design student that loves to draw. I’m looking to draw something a little more interesting than landscapes, buildings, or the occasional live model we get in studio that is never that pleasing to the eye. So here’s what I’m asking. I’m looking for some lovely ladies to send me some more, lets say, erotic pictures I could sketch from; nude, partial nude, costume, whatever, make it interesting. I’d be happy to send you my drawings when I’m done. Help a bored artist.

Doing the unspeakable

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April 10, 2009

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By Molly Freedenberg

During a recent beer-fueled gab session with my girlfriends, I made a startling discovery: All of us have particular ways our sexual encounters – whether with strangers or long-term lovers – tend to go. They are different for each of us. And most interestingly, they are unspoken.

For example. When Friend A brings a boy back to her bed, more likely than not they’ll simply cuddle – or make out without having intercourse. This never happens with Friend B or Friend C. However, almost every man Friend B brings home tries (and usually succeeds) for anal sex – a reality almost completely foreign to A and C. And Friend C almost always has unprotected sex, with her partner pulling out before he comes. (Yeah, yeah, we know. We’ll get to the modern-adults-having-unprotected-sex post later. That’s not the point here…)

What’s amazing is not that the three friends have different preferences. It’s that these are patterns for each girl, and they happen without being discussed first (or, in some cases, ever).

Peepshow: Missed Connection, found somehow

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April 9, 2009

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Each week Justin Juul highlights a rad upcoming local sexy event

Who: Hardcore Christians and other ridiculous assholes probably won’t agree with me here, but the truth about human desire is that it knows no bounds and is utterly insatiable. What this means is that you can be totally happy and living a life of ease with your soul mate, but that you’re never going to stop wondering what it’d be like to jump in a closet with that hot guy/girl who makes your stupid latte every morning. And then there’s all those chicks and dudes at the park and in the check-out line at Safeway, just standing around in cutoff shorts daring you to risk your life for a one night stand. Torture! In a perfect world, you could fall in love and go on romantic vacations with every doable person you see. But it’s not a perfect world (no cake if you plan on eating, remember?) and so if you want to keep things cool with your long-term lover, those evil sirens just have to be ignored. Or do they? If you live in San Francisco and happen to have a computer, you’ve probably heard of the missed connections section on Craigslist. It’s basically a message board for people who locked eyes with someone recently, decided to stay away for whatever reason, and then thought better of that decision afterward. Now they want to either see that person again or publicly-yet-anonymously fantasize about reconnecting. Girls getting off busses, dudes with perfect hair on connecter flights, baristas, waiters, and rugged gas-station attendants are what the missed connections section is all about. You can pine for them on Craigslist all you want, but if you’re feeling really adventurous, you’ll show up at this art show for another small nibble of forbidden fruit.

Hot sex events this week: April 8-14

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April 8, 2009

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Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

Let Mistress Tatiana teach you the ropes at her “Spanking and Paddling” class.

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>> RADAR reading series featuring Lorelei Lee
Michelle Tea’s reading series featuring emerging, underground writers and artists gets even hotter this week when Renee Hahn, Patrick O’Neil, and Bucky Sinister are joined by porn performer Lorelei Lee.

Wed/8, 6pm
Free
San Francisco Public Library
100 Larkin, SF
www.myspace.com/radarreading

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>> Taoist Energetic Healing & BDSM
Expand your knowledge and expertise in sensation, energy, and Eros with information, education, dialogue, and demonstration by Tahil Gesyuk.

Fri/10, 7pm
$20 sliding scale
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF.
sexandculture.org

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>> Spanking and Paddling
Learn one of the most basic and versatile skills in the S&M repertoire with Mistress Tatiana Belodyne (of Fantasy Makers Academy), including different positions, pacing, safety tips, and demonstrations with models.

Mon/13, 8-10pm
$25
Good Vibrations Berkeley
2504 San Pablo, Berk.
(510) 841-8987
www.goodvibes.com

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>> Ink & Metal
Hot men with tattoos and piercings get special discounts at this weekly bar night.

Tue/14, open-close
Powerhouse
1347 Folsom, SF
(415) 552-8689
www.powerhouse-sf.com

alt.sex.column: Oprah begs for mercy

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April 7, 2009

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By Andrea Nemerson. View more alt.sex columns here. Email your questions to Andrea: andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Readers:

"Oprah begs for mercy" sounds so much like the title of one of the S/M fantasy stories you can read online that I just couldn’t resist it, but honestly, read this:

Dr. Berman: … and this is a little holster that the guy can wear so this goes around his penis.

Oprah: Oh, please.

Dr. Berman: Yeah. Around his penis for hands-free clitoral stimulation during intercourse.

Oprah: OK. You have just crossed the line with me.

Dr. Berman: OK. Are you ready?

Oprah: No, you have crossed the line with me. I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.

Dr. Berman: All right, look. Here is the penis. (Makes shadow-puppet gesture.)

Oprah: I swear. I’m not ready for it. I’m not ready. I’m not ready for it. No. I am not ready for it. Let’s move on.

The doctor is Laura Berman of the Berman Institute in Los Angeles, where, between Laura’s therapy and her urologist sister Jennifer’s research, anyone female with enough money and not enough orgasms can get her bits seen to. They do excellent work. I’d be tempted to go myself out of curiosity if I lived more southerly and had more money and less doctor-phobia. Doesn’t Laura, usually so nice, seem to be getting something of a kick out of playing "torture the media mogul" there, though?

Funny, actually, since these appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show have sold gazillions of her vibrators and carried Berman’s name, credentials, and well-tended features with them into bed with viewers nationwide and further.

These are mostly not the penis-mounted marital aides the doctor is describing above, but the Berman Center brand’s workhorse, the Aphrodite. It’s a Magic Wand-type rechargeable nicknamed "the sure thing." How sure a thing is it, and is there anything about it that should automatically win the trust of an audience presumably tuning in more for makeovers, lifestyle tips, and celebrity gossip than for "Look, Oprah, here’s the penis … ?"

Ex-gay, no way: Sexologist Dr. Jallen Rix talks about surviving the ex-gay movement, part 1

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April 7, 2009

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By Justin Juul

Dr. Rix, preaching the word

In every great film about post-college urbanites in America, there is a scene in which the hip gay character’s erratic behavior is explained through a montage that looks something like this:

The character — we’ll call him Rickie — is seen as a young child singing in a church choir with another boy. Fast forward two years and Rickie and the other boy – let’s call him Jordan — have become very good friends. They are shown eating lunch together at school, playing football, watching “The Birdcage,” and eventually listening to rock-n-roll music on a record player. This is when “Walk on The Wild Side,” by Lou Reed starts to play. Soon we see Rickie and Jordan –older teenagers now– running out of a school building as hundreds of other students are walking in. The camera follows the boys as they walk to Rickie’s house and then fades out when Rickie opens the door to his room and then slams it behind him. At this point, the POV suddenly switches to Rickie’s mother, a wholesome, but meddling schoolteacher who is inexplicably not at work. She responds to the noise by picking up the phone to call her husband who works at the local church. This is when the song gains momentum and when the images in the montage grow more rapid.

First we see the boys sitting side by side on the bed. Then we see the father grabbing his keys and rushing out the door. Back in Rickie’s room, a cigarette is lit. Mischievous glances are exchanged as the smoke billows and then, just as Lou Reed’s colored girls start to go “do duh do duh do duh do,” we see Rickie’s father kicking down the bedroom door. By the time the next verse of the song starts, it’s two months later and we see Rickie sitting in a classroom. He’s holding a picture of Jordan, and as he twirls it around, we see the words “Jordan RIP” scrawled on the back. Jordan has committed suicide and Rickie has been sentenced to two years at gay camp where he learns to hate himself. The final scene of the montage shows Rickie purchasing a greyhound ticket. He’s finished hiding from himself and from others. He is leaving his family, his church, and his town behind. Cut to Rickie as a young adult. He has just told this story to his best friend, Angela, and they are both crying silently and smoking their fifteenth cigarette of the day.

Very sad stuff, and a little on the dramatic side, but there’s a reason this type of scene occurs so frequently in movies and that’s because it really does happen. Gay kids from small-town religious families really do get sent to ex-gay camps or assigned to ex-gay ministries. And then afterward, when they realize the whole deal is complete bullshit, they really do move to big cities to avoid getting beat up every time they leave the house. The problem with the portrayal of the ex-gay experience in movies is that it’s always either given a comic slant (dorm rooms full of young gays who not-so-secretly enjoy each other’s company immensely) or heavily dramatized (see above). But haven’t you always wondered what it’s really like? Well, we have too.

Dirty Words on the bus

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April 6, 2009

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By Molly Freedenberg

I’ve recently realized that Ellen Sussman’s Dirty Words: An Encyclopedia of Sex (Bloomsbury, 2008) was a strange (good? bad?) choice as the first book I would read on the bus during my first month of car-free living in San Francisco. And not simply because the subject matter of an anthology of essays inspired by words like “cunt,” “fuck,” and “dirty sanchez” might have the potential to turn me on, which could either lead to embarrassingly obvious physical symptoms (flushed cheeks, unusual frequency of crossing and uncrossing legs), or simply the frustrating reality of wanting to do something (get off) somewhere I can’t (the bus).

No, the main issue, I discovered, is the chapter heads. Each new section starts with the word in question, big and bold and impossible to miss. CUM! HAND JOB! VAGINAL EJACULATION! It’s as though the designers wanted its visual impression to say, “Hey! Look at me! I’m a dirty book!”

Confessions: My favorite accidental porn

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April 2, 2009

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By Molly Freedenberg

While catching up on the last season of the L Word last night, I was reminded that I’m not that into porn. Thing is, I do get turned on by media – photos, stories, movies – just rarely media that’s meant explicitly, or exclusively, to excite me sexually. Call it a girl thing. Call it a woeful lack of porn geared towards my particular interests. Whatever you call it, it doesn’t bother me – primarily because there are so many other places (besides actual, you know, life) I find sensual stimulation. Here are some of my favorites:

1. The L Word

It’s been awhile since I’ve watched this Showtime series about ridiculously attractive, femme-y lesbians in L.A. But as I watched the steamy tango (real, not euphemistic) between Bette and Tina in the second-to-last episode of the series, I was reminded of how sexy I used to find all the girl-on-girl action that punctuated every episode. I didn’t even realize how much until I tried to watch it with my Mom. Both uncomfortable, we turned it off halfway through. “I think I’d rather watch this … uh, alone,” she said. My inner embarrassed teenager and I couldn’t have agreed more.

Just one example: Shane and Carmen. (Please ignore the cheesy music.)

Hot sex events this week: April 1-7

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April 2, 2009

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Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

Will U and U be my Valentine? Learn how to ask at Negotiating Successful Threesomes.

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>> Clothes-On Sex! Resurrecting the Art of Frottage
Indulge your inner teenager and recapture those days of long, carefree make-out sessions – the days before “The Sex” started to overshadow everything. Sex and relationship educators Nellie Wilson and Reid Mihalko host this fun, informative, sassy, and arousing class on outtercourse.

Thu/2, 7-9:30, $30
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF.
sexandculture.org

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>> 91/2 Years Behind the Green Door
Simone Corday reads and signs her memoir about her first-hand experiences stripping at the Mitchell Brothers’ O’Farrell Theater, the place Hunter S. Thompson referred to as “the Carnegie Hall of public sex.”

Fri/3, 7pm, free
Good Vibrations
603 Valencia, SF.
www.goodvibes.com

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>> Negotiating Successful Threesomes
Is three company or a crowd? Do it right and three’s just a downright good time. Reid Mihalko helps those interested in M-F-M, F-M-F, F^3, M^3, or any combination of three consenting adults figure out techniques, common mistakes, and how to negotiate boundaries with live demonstrations and lots of laughs.

Sat/4, 7-10pm, $30
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF.
sexandculture.org

Hot pix! Amish Country Gazebos (NSFW)

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March 31, 2009

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Here’s what happens when you step into an Amish Country Gazebo:

… the temperature rises … the body relaxes … and the mind wanders ….

…. you get a fresh perspective — an invigorating splash of tranquillity — whether you’re enjoying a morning cup of coffee, an evening glass of tea, or your neighbor’s wife ….

…. whether you’re laughing with family or having “private time” outdoors ….

….whether you’re engaged in meaningful conversation or set mentally adrift in tantalizing iPhone pornography ….

… remember, it’s your gazebo — to do with what you will ….

…. it will always be there for you … for whatever … forever …

A little luck, a little pluck

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March 31, 2009

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By Andrea Nemerson. View more alt.sex columns here.

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I’m not 40, like the author of the "40 and Frustrated" letter, but I’m afflicted with another "less than desirable" characteristic: color. Oh, and a bit of meat on my bones, although that’s never been much of a problem. I’m a black woman and I date(d) all sorts of men. Online has never been the right place for me to meet men because, in a field of redheads and green eyes, men pass right by my photo. I got absolutely no interest except from men I am not interested in. And if I happened to get an interested male inquiry, I too found that the communication petered out quickly.

Several years back, I moved to the city on my own. Finally — no roommates, no significant other, just me. My friends were in relationships or newly married and I had to find activities that allowed me to have fun and meet single men. When I went out with friends, I was always just another girl in the crowd.

I got the best results when I began going out by myself, walking into an establishment where I knew no one, ordering a drink, sitting at the bar, and looking desirable and approachable with a book or a snack. A month ago, I even had a CL Missed Connections ad placed for me by a nice Irish man after visiting a local pub and having a burger and beer. It is a 99.9 percent given that if you are female and alone, a male will walk up to you and begin a conversation. Despite your age, your looks, your size, your ethnicity, if a man sees you alone, without a crew of other females to choose from, he will feel compelled to find out your story and see if he has a shot with you.

Two years ago, out by myself, I met a man I had eyed a few times over the years. We chatted. We joked. We got to know each other. Two-and-a-half years later, we’re still together.

We both have an independent nature, which still leads me to frequent places on my own. Each and every time, I am approached. I’m attractive, but I’m not all that, so this is something any woman can do. I feel that we, as women, need to step it up a notch and realize that we need to depend mostly on ourselves and not our friends or the Internet to hook us up or place us in situations where we’ll meet people.

Photofabulous GayVNs (NSFW)

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March 31, 2009

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Photos by Darwin Bell. Text by Marke B.

Logan McCree, the inky “it” porn boy of the moment (whither Francois Sagat?) accepts his “Performer of the Year 2009” award. His current studio, Raging Stallion, swept the awards again this year.

Those ravishing Hungarians, the Visconti Triplets, on the GayVN red carpet. The won nothing.

Well! The sprawling, exhaustive GayVNs (“the Oscars of gay porn”) pretty much swallowed the weekend whole for many of us. The stars! The awards! The tragedies! The complete winners list is here.

All in all, though, the entire thing was pretty relaxed and entirely fun — moreso than I expected. There was even a charity aspect, with a pricey pre-ceremony “Porn Brunch” at the LookOut in the Castro attracting a number of curious onlookers, rabid fans, and stellar anal wattage for a taping of salacious and sometimes humorous Webisodic adventure “The Tim and Roma Show” — raising some bug bucks for StopAIDS. I wish there had been more food, but the “bottomless” (ha!) mimosas soon made me forgot that I was probably the only hungry person there.

Logan, pre-win, on the couch at the LookOut

Logan’s man helps him show off his assets

The endless night before had seen porn studio “reception” (double ha!) parties all over the Castro, in which boneriffic stars got very “up close and personal” with fans and photogs alike. Snapper Darwin Bell was there until the bitter, bitter end. Below is one more shot of my current threefold obsession, the Visconti Triplets, and then after the jump — and so, SO NSFW — perennial porno sunshine boy (and media mogul!) Barrett Long demonstrates his tongue-tickling talent for autofellatio. It took a couple tries, but we stuck with him!

Ang Lee: Let’s talk about sex?

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March 26, 2009

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By Danica Li

Ang Lee and James Schamus have, in tandem, produced and directed nearly a dozen movies. They count between them a trio of Taiwanese family dramas, a civil war epic, an Austen-derived austerely British comedy of manners, an encounter with the Hulk, and a Chinese-language film about flying warriors and a green sword of destiny that grossed a whopping 200 million bucks worldwide. The duo took the stage at Berkeley’s Zellerbach Hall recently, in conversation with the Berkeley English Department’s Professor Jeffrey Knapp. The premiere topic of conversation for the first half-hour? Sex.

I diagnose this as program coordinators On the Same Page‘s gesture at edginess and being “with it” — or at least as an effort at warding off the buttoned-up stodginess and rehearsed, by-rote deliveries that have plagued past presentations (see: Stephen Hawking, Garry Wills). For starters, the audience was treated to a presentation clip in which a series of explicit splices from 2007’s Lust, Caution were cross-cut with characters from Lee’s other films expressing distaste and affecting grimaces, a dynamic that ended with a raunchily symbolic big bang (taken from 2003’s Hulk). It was enough to provoke a smattering of laughs from the audience, and was an easy enough segue into the first question: Why do so many of Lee’s films involve sex, as it were?

An unguarded moment from Ang Lee’s 2007 film Lust, Caution

GAYVNs: the long, hard rundown of events

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March 25, 2009

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By Marke B.

The GayVN Awards: You’ve felt the gay dude excitement, you’ve felt the straight dude excitement. Now, feel the excitement for yourself at the upcoming onslaught of gay porn-related events, as we explode through the wormhole of this weekend’s fabulous — and flab-u-less — events. OMG — meet the stars! Share the love! Be a part of history!

Hey, don’t shoot me — I’m just the 12-inch pianist.

Will the violent, controversial To the Last Man from Raging Stallion take home the GayVN for Best Picture? Will you take home its stars? Maybe

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Friday, March 27th

6PM

Falcon Studios’ GayVN Weekend Kick-off Party
Hosted By Juanita MORE!
Q Bar
456 Castro

Roll In Style
A Safer Sex Fashion Show
With NakedSwordsman 2009 Steve Cruz
Sui Generis
218 Church

To The Last Man Signing
Does Your Mother Know?
4141 18th St.

7PM

Raging Stallion Studios Party
The Edge
4149 18th St.

Bel Ami Studios Party
440 Castro
440 Castro

Barrett Long’s Cockstar
Moby Dick
4049 18th St.

Jet Set Men Studios Party
The Mix
4086 18th St.

Dirty Boy Video Studios Party
Twin Peaks
401 Castro

GayRealityPorn and PornTeam
The Midnight Sun
4067 18th St.

Peepshow: Gay porn for spring

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March 25, 2009

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Each week Justin Juul highlights a rad upcoming local sexy event

Who Have you ever seen that movie where the guy pulls out his dick and rubs it on some other guy’s face and then another guy comes in and he’s like “Hey there buddies, can I get me summa dat?!” Or no, wait! How about the one where the guy is sitting in the sauna at 24 Hour fitness just minding his own business, reading the paper, and then another guy comes up and he’s like “Fancy a blowjob, sir?” Those movies were great! Someone should set up an awards show for all the people involved in making them, don’t you think? They could charge tons of money for admission, throw tailgate parties in The Castro, and invite that dude from Ugly Betty to perform stand up comedy. Maybe Margaret Cho could come too. Just a thought.

Hot sex events this week: March 25-31

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March 25, 2009

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Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

Turn up your inner thermostat with the ladies of Body Heat.

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>> Body Heat: Femme Porn Tour 2009
The collective of fierce, sassy, irreverent Femme artists known for smashing stereotypes and challenging assumptions — including Amber Dawn, kathleen delaney, Meliza Banales, Jen Cross, Vixen Noir — returns to CSC with porn, kink, smut, erotica, mind-blowing performances and a sex writing workshop.

Thu/26-Fri/27, 7pm, $7-$10
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF.
www.sexandculture.org

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alt.sex.column: A third in the hand

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March 24, 2009

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By Andrea Nemerson. Read more alt.sex here

Dear Andrea:

I’ve always wanted to have a threesome and my wife is willing, but she would prefer to do it with her first boyfriend. At first I was all for it, but I’m getting more concerned that it might rekindle an old flame. Otherwise, I wouldn’t care if she had sex with a different guy every week, as long as she was safe and came home to me. I’m not jealous. I have a very high sex drive and could still have sex five or six times a day if time allowed. I love my wife and I know people are going to say if that was true, why would I let her have sex with another man? I say, variety! Spice of life!

It seems that her ex and I are similar as far as sex goes. She has only been with four partners in 20 years, including me. She has always believed in being dedicated to one person, and until I asked her about this, she never thought of straying.

She feels that if she were to do the threesome, she would prefer to do it with her ex. They didn’t part on bad terms, just grew apart with careers and family. She said she would contact him if I wanted, but I’m starting to worry. She says I’m her soulmate, but I’m not sure I should put our relationship on the line for a fantasy.

Love,

Wanting, but Worried

Dear W:

The best way to avoid having people say stupid things about your private life is to actually have a private life. People do talk, and most of what they say is pretty stupid.

I do admit to feeling a bit uneasy about partners who profess no feelings of jealousy whatsoever — do they actually, um, care? — but there’s a lot of variation in people’s baseline territoriality levels. I won’t think ill of you as a husband unless you let on that really you don’t give a damn what she’s up to, or whether she’s (re)developing feelings for the ex, or what her intentions are toward you. At that point, you get demoted from husband to acquaintance with benefits, and you lose your right to vote on what she does with anyone. Since you’re plenty engaged and plenty involved and plenty affectionate, though, I have nothing mean to say to you.

Cruising Craigslist: 420 sex

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March 24, 2009

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Each week, Justin Juul combs the SF Craigslist Personals and Missed Connections for true gems that prove there’s enough love for everyone. View his last installment here.

Have you ever had one of those super intense orgasms that makes your jaw go slack and your whole body tingle? Awesome stuff, right? Well, have you ever had an orgasm like that…on weed? If you live in San Francisco, the answer is obviously yes and you can probably see what I’m getting at: sex on pot is better than sex when you’re sober, so why waste your time with anything else? It’s pretty much a citywide sentiment, but if you have enough one-night stands around here, you’re bound to run into at least a couple human bummers who hate weed. Never again! If you can’t stand the thought of getting naked without getting high first, just do a little Craigslist cruising and relax. Here’s a start. [Ed. Note — er, the one asking for “NO baggage around the middle” is a bit rich, eh?]

420 smoke out!!!!! – m4w – 21 (san jose downtown)
Reply to: [redacted]
Date: 2009-03-17, 7:57PM PDT

Not looking for anything in particular, just a hot chic to smoke and chill with. I’m an outgoing guy with a crazy personality, I’m into really different things, not in a scary way, but an interesting way. I’m a stoner at heart and I love other real stoners, I don’t like posers who smoke weed cause it’s cool, personally I don’t think there is anything very “cool” about the act of smoking pot. If you understand what I mean by that, then we’ll prolly get along, even if you don’t agree. I’m not looking for a FWB or a one-nighter thing, I’m looking for real people who like to have fun, that doesn’t mean sex as soon as we meet. If it happens great, if not…great, lets just get fucked up! but it would be cool if you let me go down on ya, I love going down and I love getting all the practice I can so I can get better! but again, not required. If you’re interested in a chill smoke out, then tell me a bit about yourself, don’t just ask me if I’m real or write half assed just so I’ll reply with my pic, put some effort into it and tell me just a little about yourself. BTW, I do have pics and I WILL send them on my first email, you don’t even have to ask, and just to let you know I’m in good shape with NO extra baggage around the middle. If you wanna send a pic great, if you don’t at least give me the basics, race, height, hair color, eye color, that sorta stuff.

Replay: Lapdancing with Good Vibes

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March 23, 2009

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We’ve had several requests to repost Ariel Soto’s Good Vibes interview/lapdancing class video slideshow that was previously on our front page. Enjoy!

Ask a Porn Star: masturbation and legal prostitution

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March 19, 2009

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In which super sexy porn people answer questions — each week — from Bay Area locals
Mediated by Justin Juul

Fielding your questions this month is local writer/porn star, Stephen Boyer. Check out some of his movies/pics here and an excerpt from his upcoming novel here. Read our 2008 interview with Boyer here. Read the last installment of Ask a Porn Star here

James N: How would legalizing prostitution change the lives of sex workers?

Stephen Boyer: Legalizing prostitution would help prostitutes because they wouldn’t fear being labeled a criminal. They would be empowered and able to take control of their situations better. Plus it would do away with the hypocrisy we are currently indulging in as a society. Take the homophobic Ted Haggard for instance, the priest that was caught with a male escort and forced to leave his church and town. Well, Haggard has since gone on television and has publicly admitted that what he did was a “sin,” but as far as I know he never faced any legal penalties despite the fact he was on drugs committing an illegal act. However, low-end prostitutes are being booked all the time and being shoved down the hellish rabbit hole that is our present legal system. I’m for keeping everyone out of that mess!

Gerry H: How do things change when you tell people that you’ve done porn?