Caitlin Donohue

Holy high whoreiday

0

caitlin@sfbg.com

SEX It started with a serial killer. Porn star-feminist Annie Sprinkle was reading about mass murderer Gary Ridgeway slaughter of, on his count, 71 prostitutes in the 1980s and ’90s. She came across this in Ridgway’s explanation of his choice of victims: “I picked prostitutes because they were easy to pick up without being noticed. I knew they … might never be reported missing. I thought I could kill as many of them as I wanted without getting caught.”

It was a wake-up call for Sprinkle. “We don’t have equal protection,” says the busty self-termed “ecosexual,” who was a sex worker for 20 years and now serves as a role model to many in the radical sex community. Sprinkle reacted by organizing the first International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers on Dec. 17, 2003. It’s an event that is now recognized in cities around the world.

In San Francisco, Sprinkle’s “whore holy high holiday” will be marked by a City Hall vigil for all the sex workers affected by discrimination and violence this year and performance art, followed by a march to the Center for Sex and Culture (sexandculture.org). All the events are free and open to anyone who wants to stand up for those that get paid to lay down.

This year, event organizers have a dangerously prude city policy in their sights: the toxic San Francisco Police Department practice of checking suspected prostitutes’ pockets for condoms to serve as proof of intent to have sex for money. It’s a policy that Mayor Gavin Newsom and the state’s first Latina attorney general, Kamala Harris, support. Sprinkle finds it completely at odds with the mission of promoting safe sex among anyone who could be walking down the street with a rubber in their pocket, as well as dangerous to sex workers. “It’s nasty, and really stupid, and so counterproductive — is that the message that we want to be sending?”

Which is not to say that Friday will be devoid of sweet, sexy joy entirely. After all, where would be the fun in gathering up SF’s sex-positive community if no one got naked? Later that evening, the Center for Sex and Culture will host a special edition of the national literary series Naked Girls Reading showcasing — yep — naked girls reading literature written by those who spread their legs to make their living.

“It’s a great opportunity for feminism and art,” says event organizer Lady Monster, who heard about Miss Erotic World 2005 Michelle L’amour’s original Naked Girl Chicago series and thought it a perfect fit for our pervy-intellectual burg. She held the first event in April and “it took off like wild blazes,” packing venues across town.

An ex phone sex operator who dabbled in private peep shows in her home state of Ohio without being told that the work was illegal, Lady Monster notes that the poor economy and demise of Craigslist escort ads in response to outside pressure has introduced even greater risks to sex workers, pressure that can lead them to accept unsafe working conditions. She feels that the nationwide observance of Dec. 17 “is a way to give people an opportunity to celebrate sex workers’ rights.”

On stage, her reading event will celebrate their contribution to arts and literature. Sexologist Dr. Carol Queen will be leafing through a book at the night’s nudie show; as well as burlesque star Dottie Lux; sex worker activist Robyn Few; Lady Monster herself (who’ll be reading from Some Girls, the memoir of Jillian Lauren, the American who lived and worked in a Brunei harem); and Sprinkle, among others. Lady Monster says the requirements needed to be onstage fall into three categories: readers must be accomplished writers, have public speaking experience, and — perhaps the most obvious — they’ve got be down to make the scene in the all together.

“Three hundred and sixty-four days a year we talk about how much we like our work, and one day a year we take time to realize that there are real victims out there,” Sprinkle says. It may be the oldest profession, but even in Gomorrah by the Bay, sex work is still a far cry from society’s respected elder.

INTERNATIONAL DAY TO END VIOLENCE AGAINST SEX WORKERS

Fri., Dec. 17

4 p.m., free

City Hall

Civic Center, SF

www.swopusa.org

NAKED GIRLS READING

9 p.m., $15–$20

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, SF

(415) 552-7399

www.nakedgirlsreading.com/sanfrancisco

 

Hot sexy events December 15-21

0

Sigh. I guess I’m supposed to be Christmas shopping right now. But all I can focus is on is another week of sweet and wild sex events – what’s a girl to do? In the spirit of at least trying to pretend I give a damn, however, here are five fantastic places to buy sexy somethings for the naughties on your list. And the weekly sex events, of course. 

1. Quality SM – run by womens since 1988, this locally based online catalog specializes in British BDSM titles. www.qualitysm.com

2. Dark Garden – the hottest corsets money can buy for the love in your life that needs cinching. 321 Linden, SF. (415) 431-7684, www.darkgarden.com

 3.Good Vibrationsduh, if you read this column at all, duh. Various Bay Area locations. www.goodvibes.com

4. Stormy Leather – leather goods for all! 1158 Howard, SF. (415) 626-1672, www.stormyleather.com

5. Big Al’s Adult Super Store – sample Yelp review: “Forget about stoopid goodvibes and their politically-correct-boring-medical-supply-store bullshit!” Great for bachelorette parties! 556 Broadway, SF. (415) 391-8510

Good Vibrations Customer Appreciation Night

Surely this night was formulated with the diligent holiday shopper in mind, but really Good Vibes – free wine and chocolate? One-on-one attention from sexperts? This is one shopping event (actually five – Fri/17, Sat/18, Weds/22 and Thurs/23 will see the same perks) that will nurture the sex life of the gifter and giftee in one fell swoop. Pick up a present for you and yours, how bout?

Thurs/16 6-8 p.m., free

Good Vibrations 

Various Bay Area locations

www.goodvibes.com


International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers

Started in SF, this is the day to honor all those that lay down for our bullshit – and bucks – and to speak out against the violence and discrimination heaped on them in return. Friday’s memorial at City Hall features a performance piece entitled “Sex Worker Scream,” a reading of all of 2010’s victims, and a candlelit march to the Center for Sex and Culture for tea and cookies, for real.

Fri/17 

Performance and vigil start at 4:17 p.m., march after to Center for Sex and Culture, free

In front of City Hall, SF

www.swopusa.org


Naked Girls Reading 

Started by burlesque champion Michelle L’Amour in Chicago, this nudie reading series has spread to cities across the country – and none of the chapters have more sexy indie cred than SF’s franchise. Started by Burly Q beauty-erotica writer Lady Monster, this month’s event will see the women reading literature penned by sex workers. Annie Sprinkle makes a guest appearance, you can augment your literary arsenal, and see some boobies — what could be better, right?

Fri/17 8 p.m., $10-20

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, SF

(415) 552-7399

www.nakedgirlsreading/sanfrancisco


Pink

Pansexual play party Pink has made a practice of having sexy pre-event lessons to ease you into a night of swinging and cavorting at Mission Control’s pillow strewn harem rooms. This month, come early for a crash course on flirting: Jasper from The New Eccentrics will be taking it deep and hard into the areas of the brain and the corresponding ways to get them all hot and bothered (in a metaphysical sense).

Fri/17 9 p.m. charm school, 10 p.m. party

Mission Control

2519 Mission, SF

www.missioncontrolsf.org


Carnal Carnival

An encore performance by Ms. San Francisco Leather contestant Ms. Cat, singletail whip-throwing contests, vibrator races, and kinky raffles await you at this decidedly un-cotton candy carnival (although there will be a dessert table on hand). Plus, as befitting the holiday season, The Exiles (SF’s womens-only BDSM educational group) will be holding a children’s toy drive at their get-down.

Fri/17 7:30 p.m., $10 non-members

Women’s Building

3543 18th St., SF

(415) 431-1180

www.exiles.org


BBW BDSM Munch

Will all the big, beautiful, kinky women please stand up? That’s right, now find some car keys and roll to Milpitas, because there’s a far-flung party that’s being held in your honor. Yessir, here in the embrace of mesquite-grilled Southwestern fare you can find a diverse spread of those who’d be honored to engage in some rough play with you – men, women, doms, subs, everything in between. Appetites encouraged, as is street wear (you’ll be in a public room, no need to stress the squares). 

Sat/18 11 a.m.-1 p.m., free (purchase of food or drink encouraged)

On The Border

260 Ranch, Milpitas

(408) 935-6070

www.fetlife.com/groups/26844

 

Holy high whoreiday

0

caitlin@sfbg.com

SEX It started with a serial killer. Porn star-feminist Annie Sprinkle was reading about mass murderer Gary Ridgeway slaughter of, on his count, 71 prostitutes in the 1980s and ’90s. She came across this in Ridgway’s explanation of his choice of victims: “I picked prostitutes because they were easy to pick up without being noticed. I knew they … might never be reported missing. I thought I could kill as many of them as I wanted without getting caught.”

It was a wake-up call for Sprinkle. “We don’t have equal protection,” says the busty self-termed “ecosexual,” who was a sex worker for 20 years and now serves as a role model to many in the radical sex community. Sprinkle reacted by organizing the first International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers on Dec. 17, 2003. It’s an event that is now recognized in cities around the world.

In San Francisco, Sprinkle’s “whore holy high holiday” will be marked by a City Hall vigil for all the sex workers affected by discrimination and violence this year and performance art, followed by a march to the Center for Sex and Culture (sexandculture.org). All the events are free and open to anyone who wants to stand up for those that get paid to lay down.

This year, event organizers have a dangerously prude city policy in their sights: the toxic San Francisco Police Department practice of checking suspected prostitutes’ pockets for condoms to serve as proof of intent to have sex for money. It’s a policy that Mayor Gavin Newsom and the state’s first Latina attorney general, Kamala Harris, support. Sprinkle finds it completely at odds with the mission of promoting safe sex among anyone who could be walking down the street with a rubber in their pocket, as well as dangerous to sex workers. “It’s nasty, and really stupid, and so counterproductive — is that the message that we want to be sending?”

Which is not to say that Friday will be devoid of sweet, sexy joy entirely. After all, where would be the fun in gathering up SF’s sex-positive community if no one got naked? Later that evening, the Center for Sex and Culture will host a special edition of the national literary series Naked Girls Reading showcasing — yep — naked girls reading literature written by those who spread their legs to make their living.

“It’s a great opportunity for feminism and art,” says event organizer Lady Monster, who heard about Miss Erotic World 2005 Michelle L’amour’s original Naked Girl Chicago series and thought it a perfect fit for our pervy-intellectual burg. She held the first event in April and “it took off like wild blazes,” packing venues across town.

An ex phone sex operator who dabbled in private peep shows in her home state of Ohio without being told that the work was illegal, Lady Monster notes that the poor economy and demise of Craigslist escort ads in response to outside pressure has introduced even greater risks to sex workers, pressure that can lead them to accept unsafe working conditions. She feels that the nationwide observance of Dec. 17 “is a way to give people an opportunity to celebrate sex workers’ rights.”

On stage, her reading event will celebrate their contribution to arts and literature. Sexologist Dr. Carol Queen will be leafing through a book at the night’s nudie show; as well as burlesque star Dottie Lux; sex worker activist Robyn Few; Lady Monster herself (who’ll be reading from Some Girls, the memoir of Jillian Lauren, the American who lived and worked in a Brunei harem); and Sprinkle, among others. Lady Monster says the requirements needed to be onstage fall into three categories: readers must be accomplished writers, have public speaking experience, and — perhaps the most obvious — they’ve got be down to make the scene in the all together.

“Three hundred and sixty-four days a year we talk about how much we like our work, and one day a year we take time to realize that there are real victims out there,” Sprinkle says. It may be the oldest profession, but even in Gomorrah by the Bay, sex work is still a far cry from society’s respected elder.

INTERNATIONAL DAY TO END VIOLENCE AGAINST SEX WORKERS

Fri., Dec. 17

4 p.m., free

City Hall

Civic Center, SF

www.swopusa.org

NAKED GIRLS READING

9 p.m., $15–$20

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, SF

(415) 552-7399

www.nakedgirlsreading.com/sanfrancisco

Scott Hammel’s street treats

0

One of the beauties of living in weirdo town is that the streets can always surprise you. The other day, I went out for a mushroom taco and came back with a bag of sparkly fabric from an artist collective’s yard sale on lower Divisadero. I’m sure something attractive will happen with that bag, but after subsequently stumbling into Scott Hammel‘s toy art show in Mini Bar (through Jan. 30), I can’t help but wonder: what would have happened if my plastic sack was instead a full trash bag of plastic kids toys, cigarette butts, and the odd syringe?

Besides the possibility of contagion, of course. But real talk, even in the heady first days of a blood-borne pathogen, I still wouldn’t have come up with stuff this cool. Hammel’s art looks like the productions of an adult Sid from Toy Story, if Sid had gotten fabulous and started doing LSD.

Plus, seasonal! The head of a retro plastic elf pokes unsettlingly from a gold wall sconse, teddy bears with guns drip from their ornament hooks and a wreath that I’d hang on my front door in a minute if it wouldn’t be covetously snatched by a fellow #24 bus-waiter-forer adorn Mini Bar’s back eyrie room like jars of rhinestone-speckled candy. Gleaming light fixtures made from orange prescription pill bottles and a Donald Duck diorama in which he inspects wide-eyed the drug paraphernalia around him. It’s all really colorful and delicious and freaky, love. 

 After picking up aforementioned trash bag ‘o’ fun on the corner of Jones and Eddy, the photographer-visual artist started to see the urban life cocktail in contained as a metaphor for his own strut through his TL home. “The first piece I created was titled “Living in the Tenderloin,” which featured a tiny hush puppy figurine snuggled in a nest of window glass, cigarette butts, and rusted beads, and nails,” says Hammel in our email exchange about the installation.

“The best describing word for my style and aesthetic would be brazen. This might have something to do with living in the Tenderloin, where being brazen can sometimes help shield me from the oddities of life here,” he confirms. The glue gun art he creates (that ranges from affordable detritus tree ornaments to less-so chaotic balls ‘o’ toy that drape strands of pearl to the floor below) “helps me find comfort and reliance in a pretty disturbingly creepy place.”

Which, y’know, is high praise for one’s own neighborhood — but it’s clear that Hammel has a soft spot for SF’s most maligned ‘hood. A stunning video clip called My Life in a Day he filmed tracks his own perspective whilst making his merry way through late awakenings, the SF Party store, and aesthetically motivated inspections of the random pieces of street beauty in the neighborhood, like a stand of orange flowers or particularly prettily-bedecked traffic sign. 

A nice affirmation of the reason why we all pay out our ass for housing in these parts: these streets give back in a big way.

 

“Exhibit by Scott Hammel”

Now through Jan. 30

Mini Bar

837 Divisadero, SF

(415) 525-3565

www.scotterpop.com

 

Libidinous literature with Naked Girls Reading

1

I had asked Lady Monster, over a pair of red wine glasses and the pleasant buzz of nearby patrons at Revolution Cafe, to tell me what story she’d read at the Halloween installation of her Naked Girls Reading literary series. We were chatting in anticipation of her International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers edition of NGR (Fri/17) which will take place at the Center for Sex and Culture after the day’s City Hall vigil and march.

The curvaceous redhead is quite the story teller, even clothed. “I did the elevator scene from The Shining,” she told me, launching into a brief summary of the Torrance family’s elevator travails. By the end of it I had the crap scared out of me – and she was fully clothed! Imagine what this lady can get done in the buff – surely, a live literary luminary not to be trifled with.

Lady Monster first heard of the Naked Girls Reading series circa its Chicago inception by burlesque showgirl Michelle L’Amour in 2009. The series sits down sex-positive female role models (SF’s chapter features sexologist Carol Queen, sex activists, and burlesque beauty Dottie Lux among others) for a theme night of literary lustiness. The event struck a chord (books and boobies yay!), and not just among Chicago pervs – the series has been featured on the Carson Daly show and has spread to nine other cities. “Like wild blazes,” says Monster.

“Almost immediately Michelle had people wanting to franchise the series,” she continues. Naked girls getting brainy? Lady Monster had an inkling that her own San Francisco community would gag for a NGR chapter of their own. She scheduled NGR’s SF breakout in May of this year and the show’s played to packed houses every two months since – and will score a regular monthly gig at Viracocha come the new year. “It’s so much fun, so silly. It’s all about being comfortable in your own skin,” Monster asserts.

That’s something that she’s had little trouble with – even growing up on an Ohio farm, Monster started hosting her (initially PG-13 rated) play parties in fifth grade. “I’d have all my friends over and make sure everyone was coupled off. Then we’d go into my room and close the door. At first we’d all just make out, but as we got older it got more serious. I was my own sexually liberated role model!” With a little help from some open-minded parents, of course. “They didn’t bother us, they let us have our time together.”

From grade school groping, Monster graduated to more advanced expressions of sexuality. She worked the graveyard shift at a phone sex line and loved the intimacy and honesty she could find in horny men just getting home from last call. “I wanted to hear their secrets all the time,” she confesses. But she wanted it to happen face to face, so she tripped her way into a job doing “legal escort work.” Private peep show stuff, for which Monster would strip or faux-masturbate for a paying customer. 

Only it wasn’t legal, a fact that her employer neglected to tell her. And even though she was getting face to face time, the sexual intimacy she’d felt with men on the other end of the phone line was gone. “There was no talking! Yeah, the money was a lot better but I had to get out of there.” All the way to San Francisco, in fact – where Monster has put her open sexuality to work in service to SF Sex Information and pens sex stories and erotic poetry. She’s also a long time performer in the burlesque scene – she’s been known to create her own astronomically-inspired LED-lit costumes and accesorize with glitter-dipped viking axes. Oh, and she toured with Ministry.

Like NGR, The International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers was created by an empowered sexual superstar and has grown into a far-reaching event, marked by vigils in cities around the globe and marches of men and women carrying red umbrellas (the adopted symbol of the movement). It was started by the Bay’s own feminist porn star Annie Sprinkle, an ex-sex worker who Monster counts amongst her role models: “she’s not really a mother figure, more like a respected aunt,” Monster says.

“Sex workers need protection,” she continues, noting that Sprinkle started the annual day of memorial after reading a serial killer’s confession that he killed over 40 prostitutes because he knew they were less likely to be reported missing or inspire dedicated police investigations.

Lady Monster’s convinced that sex worker safety is an issue that carries particular import this year for a variety of reasons. First: shitty profits. “Business is definitely being affected by the economy,” she says. “And on top of that the market’s flooded,” with all the men and women out of work in other industries. Lack of work can make it harder to avoid risky working situations that put sex workers at risk of withheld wages, assault, or rape. The shut-down of Craigslist’s casual encounters listings has made it more difficult to find clients in the first place, and in the midst of all of this, SFPD has adopted an evidenciary policy that discourages condom usage: if cops find a rubber on a suspected prostitute, they’ll use it as evidence of intent to have sex for money. 

That’s why Monster’s event Friday (which follows a vigil and march from City Hall that starts at 4 p.m.) will give voice to those that often go unheard in our society. Monster, her regular NGR cast, and Sprinkle will all read from literature penned by sex workers, including Jillian Lauren’s memoir of her time in the prince of Brunei’s harem and Scarlet Harlot’s account of becoming a radical prostitute, Unrepentant Whore.

“This is such a great opportunity for feminism and art,” Monster says. Undeniably, giving naked women a stage on which to talk about reclamation of body and sex issues is a unique approach. NGR, sex worker edition: sure to be a hot night, but also a reflection of the power of corpus woman when framing its own literary discourse. 

 

Naked Girls Reading: International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers 

Fri/17 9 p.m., $15-20

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, SF

(415) 255-1155

www.nakedgirlsreading.com

 

Hooking starts at home

0

Well goddammit if it’s not raining again. San Francisco is not a town that is built for this: we don’t have fenders on our bikes, our bomber jackets are all made of suede, and our skin melts in even the slightest drizzle. So why not use this shut-in time to create smutty presents for your seductee-to-be this holiday season? Is this pillow turning you on?

“I’ve been a hooker since I was 11 years old. Back then it was all about smiley faces and rainbows, but I’ve matured and so have my designs,” states Brooklyn-via-Castro photographer-hooker Kevin L. Muth by way of introduction to his Dirty Pillowz DIY kits ($35). His kits supply all that you need to create retro-looking, shaggy pillows that look like the lead up to a killer money shot. Designs include four stills of man-on-man loving – including one lovely homage to the tube sock — and two booby pillow pleasers (every woman has them).

Muth and his boyfriend spent many an hour trolling through 70s classic porn “purely for the sake of this project!” to find the best images for aspiring Martha Stewarts to turn into unique bordello décor items. Que artiste! Apparently it is quite the challenge to get the pixel-stitches ratio right, so it is quite astounding that Muth was able to accomplish it in the off hours of his day job cookin’ the books at “a fancy Pilates studio and being nice to super rich Upper West side ladies.”

The beauty of his pillowz is that like the Monets hanging in the Louvre, one must step back a few to fully grok their motif. Up close, they just look like a bunch of yarn. Which is good for when Mother comes over, come to think of it – a situation for which Muth also recommends flipping them over to their less explicit side. 

Pillow kits come equipped with precut yarn, canvas, latch hook, and easy instructions for hooking (though sadly these don’t include high heel repair pointers or even what to do now that Craig’s List has gone prude.) Last Xmas ordering day for SF-ites is Thurs/16. Collect all six designs and your couch can play orgy. Go get ’em go!

www.dirtypillowz.net

 

 

Hot sexy events: December 8-14

1

So how’s this for weird: rich folks get freaky too! Yes indeed, according to our friends at the Bay Citizen, upon the launch of an investigation into her and her husband’s possible involvement in an inside trading ring (don’t they just always want to get into those things?) Pac Heights lady-who-lunches Annabel McClellan was discovered to be working on the gosh darn kinkiest iPhone app we’ve ever heard of: My Nookie. 

The app allows users to dish down to the nitty-gritty about their super hot hookups, right down to the positions, location of consummation, and partner used and abused. Share the info with your friends and even send de-personalized My Nookie messages to potential partners with purple anonymous avatars performing the sex event you’d like to try with them. Says McClellan (whose lawyer denies her involvement with the app)’s business partner Milly Hanley to the Bay Citizen, “we are housewives, our kids are older now. We were looking for something to do.” Consider your wealth-induced ennui assuaged, ladies! Now onto the sex events.

Women’s Community Clinic benefit

What’s really, really sexy? A capable, respectful place to nurture your reproductive health, that’s what. Join the women of Pin Up Clinic for live tunes and readings by Carol Queen, Lorelei Lee, and Tina Horn, plus a chance to get your 2011 copy of their frisky sexy lady calendar. All proceeds go to the Women’s Community Clinic, a place that’s more than worthy of your oooh’s and aaah’s. 

Wed/8 6-8 p.m., free

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0500

www.goodvibes.com


Little Minksy’s Burlesque

For six years, Douglas Good has been holding an SF burlesque show every week – do you know how many pasties that is? His event, Little Minksy’s (named after the banned shows that rocked NYC at the turn of the 20th century) features this week talent from Alotta Boutte, Dottie Lux, Kentucky Fried Woman, Bitter Waitress, and more. It packs Club Deluxe every time – so get there early for a good shot of these lady lumps and attentive bar service. 

Thurs/9 9 p.m.-2 a.m., $5

Club Deluxe

1511 Haight, SF

(415) 552-6949

www.sfclubdeluxe.com


Kinky Holiday Fantasia

Just your typical holiday party here folks, nothing to see: ornament hanging (on bare skin), (living) tree and menorah lighting, jingle bell (boobs), and seasonal (bondage) fashion. More than enough fodder to keep you snickering through your family’s sit-down to watch It’s a Wonderful Life for the 800th time. 

Thurs/9 7:30-10:30 p.m., $15-25 sliding scale

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-2746

www.sfcitadel.org


“Modern Love: A Panel About Open Relationships”

Are we still swinging, San Francisco? Smart money’s on hell yeah, particularly if you ask the speakers at this panel on polyamory: Ethical Slut author Dossie Easton will be there, as well as Carol Queen (She. Is. Everywhere.), and Sarah and Chris, creators of Mission Control’s KISS play party. Perfect for the seasoned spouse-swapper, or any couples looking to open up their loving arms in the future.

Fri/10 6-8 p.m., free

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0500

www.goodvibes.com


Whobilation

Dr. Suess was due for a kinky overhaul, wasn’t he? Attire yourself in your Whoville best for this holiday play party, where the pinks and purples of the Mission Control harem rooms will try their best not to clash with all the green and red (let’s face it, Judaism has inspired a lot less easily-mimicked pop culture characters, Hanukkah Harry notwithstanding). Like all the other Kinky Salon parties, Whobilation features super sexy talent onstage during the mayhem. On this night of nights, Berkeley’s Burley Sisters Burlesque and Ophelia Coer de Noir take to the fore and Skanky Claus will lead all in a resounding session of dirty carols. 

Sat/11 10 p.m.-late, $25-35 members and allies only

Mission Control 

www.missioncontrolsf.org


“Abuse in Kinky Relationships: How to Reveal, Deal, and Heal”

It can be tough to distinguish love’s good and bad pain – particularly in the world of BDSM. But peer facilitator-in-training Jocelyn is a veteran of both, and is holding this class to teach about how to identify, fix, and recover from abusive relationships — in and out of the dungeon. 

Tues/14 8-10 p.m., $20

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-2746

www.sfcitadel.org

 

On the Cheap Listings

0

On the Cheap listings are compiled by Caitlin Donohue. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

WEDNESDAY 8

k11 Craft Sale 2260 Adeline, Berk.; www.knitoneone.blogspot.com 10am-4pm, free. Awash in holiday shopping events? Us too. Let’s retire to this year-round knit and craft sale. This month gathers 12 creative souls who’d like to stuff your stockings – from cheery note cards, vintage-looking totes, bright dish towels, and more.

“This is Art! Live!” live cable access broadcast Steven Wolf Fine Arts, 2747A 19th St., SF; www.stevenwolffinearts.com. 5:30pm, free. A special viewing party for BAVC show “This is Art! Live!” will give participants a chance to get up all in the quirky program, which consists of home-made commercials, dramatic interludes, and thought-provoking queries like “why are women artists hot?” Weigh in, then stick around for a runway fashion show and libations.

THURSDAY 9

Golden Gate Park holiday tree lighting McLaren Lodge, Golden Gate Park, SF; www.sfrecpark.org. 5pm, free. Bundle up and head to the picturesque McLaren Lodge, the (Golden) gate-keeping chalet off of Stanyan, for the 81st annual lighting of the massive pine in front. The kids will be all rosy-cheeked and distracted by train rides, caroling, and a visit from the portly Claus himself.

FRIDAY 10

Lights on Market Street celebration Procession starts at 1119 Market; reception at The Luggage Store, 1007 Market, SF; www.sfartscommission.org. 5-7pm, free. The three light installations funded by Mid-Market’s recent $250,000 NEA grant ignite one by one tonight in a procession headed by members of Sixth Street’s Bayanihan Community Center, and their traditional Filipino parol lanterns. Come bedecked in your own culture’s style of illuminations and enjoy a reception after at community gallery The Luggage Store.

SATURDAY 11

Bazaar Bizarre Fort Mason Center, SF; www.bazaarbizarre.org. Noon-5pm (Also Sun/12 noon-6pm), free. The Boston-spawned crafteria makes its way across the country to bring Bay Area-ites its hearty dose of DIY communitarianism. Come for 150 booths worth of the city’s best hand-crafties and sate your browsing-induced hunger with a crème brûlée or taco from Off the Grid’s fabulous ambulatory food carts.

Creative Arts Craft & Book Fair Creative Arts Charter School, 1601 Turk, SF; (415) 749-3509, www.creativeartscharter.org. 10am-4pm, free. Throw some ducats towards your local student-centered K-8 school at their annual bazaar, home to handmade crafts and a little sustenance for your holiday season – hot soup, cider, and book readings by the Winter Fairy on the hour.

Glamazonia: The Uncanny Super Tranny Mission Comics and Art, 3520 20th St., SF; (415) 695-1545, www.missioncomicsandart.com. 7-10pm, free. Justin Hall reads from the solo comic book debut of his blonde beehived, body rockin’ super tranny. She’s got Superman in a trance! Bruce Lee’s down on his knees! He’s joined by a swath of other pulp fiction luminaries and oh yes, they’ll have copies for signing.

Hawaiian Holiday Craft and Bake Sale St. Patrick’s Parish Center, 409 Magnolia, Larkspur; 10am-4pm, free. Perhaps you are not destined for a beach-side lounge chair and awkward lei tan lines this winter. Undoubtedly, sweets, you’re not the only one. Also, you can get your plate lunch and island treats all the same at this 11th annual fundraiser for Hula On Productions — the snacks and crafts have been cooked up by members of the Halau Hula Na Pua O Ka La’akea, Hula On’s dance contingent.

Spark! Circus benefit show Vagabond Ballroom, 830 Isabella, Oakl.; (415) 816-4620, www.sparkcircus.org. 8pm-midnight, $10-20 sliding scale. It takes a village to blow a kid’s mind – spend an evening with this one to help fund Spark!’s mission to send 15 members of their fire spinnin’, jugglin’, rappin’, and joke crackin’ troupe to perform for kids in refugee camps, migrant schools, hospitals, and orphanages along the Thai-Burmese border.

MONDAY 13

Lemony Snicket Berkeley Repertory Theatre, 2015 Addison, Berk.; (510) 647-2949, www.berkeleyrep.org. 7pm, free. The dreadful, beleaguered children’s book hero sends his “stand-in,” author Daniel Handler to speak for him as part of Berkeley Rep’s always-free “Page to Stage” series.

The Monthly Rumpus The Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St., SF; www.brownpapertickets.com. 7-9:30pm, $10. The month’s theme, “Ladies Night,” draws some XX luminaries to the literary reading series stage, including Lusty Lady union organizer Antonia Crane, Michelle Tea, and indie folksters The Yellow Dress.

Is your food fair?

0

caitlin@sfbg.com

FAIR FOOD We’ve all worked in a restaurant, haven’t we? I know I have — many — and gosh if they aren’t tricky little employment situations. Overtime, what? Breaks, really? And health care — well who the hell gets health care at a restaurant?

But this being San Francisco, restaurant workers are entitled to all these things courtesy of our hard-won labor laws. Which of course doesn’t mean that workers get them all the time, but that they should. And the bars and eateries that provide these benies — along with job safety, respect, and other luxuries — should be the ones that get the business of the conscientious diner.

Until recently the identity of these decent restaurants was only obtainable by sneaking back into the kitchen to chat. But the advocacy group Young Workers United (www.youngworkersunited.org) is changing that. Its guide to SF restaurants, Dining With Justice, is now in its second year of publication, teaching those who want to know where they can get a nice meal served by someone who is happy and secure in their job.

“It’s kind of a counter to Zagat and Yelp,” YWU organizer Edwin Escobar tells me. Escobar just got done talking about his group’s campaign to a room full of City College of San Francisco students at the school’s “Turn the Tables” teach-in last week. The event was sponsored by CCSF’s labor and community studies program and featured presentations from community groups and SF’s Office of Labor Standards Enforcement.

To research the guide, YWU members interviewed 250 employees at 32 restaurants. The 58-question survey ranked businesses in five fields: compliance with wage and working hours laws, job mobility, job satisfaction, health and safety, and job security. Only nine businesses received stars in three or more the categories; none received five out of five.

“People think, oh, it’s San Francisco, all the workers get treated well. But that’s not the case. Restaurants and retail businesses get away with murder,” Escobar says. His organization provides labor law education and advocacy for low-wage workers around the city in an attempt to stem workplace violations.

Recently, YWU shed some light on some of the troubles faced by workers in a struggle with one of the city’s most beloved type of snack stop: the taqueria. The group helped the Latino staff of the Taqueria Azteca chain (which has locations in the Castro and Noe Valley) recoup more than $2 million in back pay from owners who had cheated them of overtime compensation and even minimal control over their schedules. Escobar says one mother involved in the legal proceedings had been given a choice by management: return to work one week after giving birth or lose her job.

“The workers who get cheated the most in San Francisco are Asian immigrants,” says Shaw San Liu, another speaker at “Turn the Tables.” Liu is a lead organizer with the Chinese Progressive Association (www.cpasf.org), which since 1970 has worked to empower the Chinatown community to deal head on with social inequities. Earlier this year, the association released a report on the state of employment in Chinatown restaurants based on one-on-one interviews with 435 workers. The results were disheartening: 50 percent had worked under-minimum wage jobs; 80 percent had been cheated out of overtime; 64 percent had received no on-the-job training; a majority had been injured on the job; and more than half were paying all medical costs out of pocket.

That’s just not cool in a town that nominally protects workers against all these things by law. Liu says CPA would like to publish a guide similar to Dining With Justice to reward responsible restaurants but has run into cultural stumbling blocks. Law-abiding businesses didn’t want to be singled out as such because, owners said, it would make their neighbors look bad. “Everyone knows minimum wage in Chinatown is $1,000 a month,” says Liu. “They didn’t want to be known as the goody two-shoes.”

There are clear challenges to improving the lot of the person serving you your brunch, burritos, and dim sum. But everyone has a part to play in making it happen. “At this point, we’re just asking consumers to be aware,” Liu says.

Efforts like Dining With Justice are a real step in the right direction. YWU plans to expand its scope next year into other city neighborhoods. “Surely there are more than just nine restaurants treating their workers right in this city. We want to know about them,” YWU organizer Tiffany Crain tells the room of students assembled before her. Crain added that if anyone in attendance works for a good employer, they should call her — just as they should call her if they are getting cheated out of wages or a healthy working environment.

“You want to make money?” Liu asked SF restaurant owners. “You’re going to make money if people think you’re a good employer.” In San Francisco, diners like to think they’re eating sustainably: organic, local, and fair to workers. Also, a chef who is happy in his or her job makes for a better dining experience.

Here are restaurants that scored four stars in Dining With Justice.

Arizmendi Bakery

1331 Ninth Ave.; (415) 566-3117, www.arizmendibakery.com

Arlequin

384 Hayes; (415) 626-1211

The Corner

2199 Mission; (415) 875-9258, www.thecornersf.com

Frjtz

590 Valencia; (415) 863-8272 and 581 Hayes; (415) 864-7654, www.frjtzfries.com

Mission Pie

2901 Mission; (415) 282-1500, www.missionpie.com

Poesia

4072 18th St.; (415) 252-9325, www.poesiasf.com

Zazie

941 Cole; (415) 564-5332, www.zaziesf.com

Give the gift of fungal growth

2

And yet, and yet… even after this weekend’s Fungus Fair and my ensuing blithe commentary, I am not quite ready to turn my mind to things unrelated to the mushroom. It’s a little like how I was with beards this summer. Luckily, ‘shrooms are multifarious, earthy, adorable, subversive-leaning, and utterly delicious! Or poisonous, sometimes. Below, my four favorite mushroom gift ideas for the season of buying things “for other people.”

Mushroom mini-farm, $19.50 (photo above)

I actually got this for my boyfriend’s birthday and hid it so poorly that he immediately found it. Luckily, as it hadn’t sprouted yet, he thought it was a foul, mold-covered loaf of bread. Perhaps it is testament to our relationship that he didn’t hurl it into the trash bin, but instead set it out on the kitchen counter for my perusal. No, love, it is not bread – but leave it uncovered and soon this pre-germinated lump of … something… will sprout up to one and a half pounds of delicious mushrooms cultivated by the folks at Far West Fungi, Monterey Bay’s primo mushroom farm. Available in shiitake or tree oyster mushroom. 

1 Ferry Building, SF; (415) 989-9090, www.farwestfungi.com

FUNGIfolio calendar, $7-12 sliding scale

Does your baby-baby love mushrooms and need a calendar? “I love mushrooms so I made this calendar,” says Ramona Hopkins, creator of the FUNGIfolio wall calendar. Perfect! Keep in mind that the Bay Area is home to a year-round bounty of fungal growth with this indie score. Bonus: Ramona will be hawking her wares at the sure-to-be-awesome East Bay Alternative Press Expo this weekend (Sat/11) – so if you’re feeling the need to wax mycologically, she’ll love to oblige. 

fungifolio.blogspot.com

Golden shiitake mushroom ring, $40

Gone are the days when the friendly ‘shroom was confined to the mediums of obvious backpack patches and fimo bead necklaces. Now you may announce your affliation to the basidiomycota phylum as befits you – in sheer class. Scope this wood-metal ring from local Bay jeweler J. Fein – a plump shiitake to sit on your daintly uplifted pinky. Sipping tea while conversating with a loved one on voyages taken, perhaps?

Sold in various Bay Area locations, www.etsy.com/people/jfeindesigns  

All That the Rain Promises and More, $17.99

Oh yes. OH YES. You know you’re not supposed to be heading out on your own, picking up any bulbous what’s-it that you find – that’s how you hurt your liver! In fact, you should probably check out one of the area’s beginner’s mushrooming forays before you hit the duff. But for the armchair mushroom hunter, or anyone who’d like a handy guide of the area’s yummy and yucky fungi friends, California crazy man David Arora’s guide to over 200 species should do nicely. Look at this guy on his book’s cover: he’s trucking around with a loose-cannon grin in a tux, a trumpet, and the biggest damn chanterelle you’ve ever seen. Score!

Bay Area bookstores, www.davidarora.com

 

Shroomin’ at the Fungus Fair

2

All photos by Erik Anderson

“See, it’s starting to smell.” It’s day two of the Mycological Society of San Francisco‘s winter Fungus Fair at Berkeley’s Lawrence Hall of Science this weekend and the ‘shrooms are getting a little funky. MSSF member Peter Wegner is showing us around the caps and stems and he sounds a little apologetic for the earthy musk that has descended on us as we enter the fair’s specimen room. 

But he needn’t be – the sight of the room’s fungi, collected by society volunteers in the Bay Area over the past few days from 25 forage sites, more than makes up for any scent it emits. Not to mention the fair’s culinary offerings, educational bonanza, and the ‘shroom gnome hats so delicately worn by gung-ho clan members – this is the cardinal event of the country’s largest amateur mushroom society. 

Fungus Fair, I think I love you.

Wegner himself has been a MSSF member for eight years. His mushroom mania began on a trip to Italy, incensed by the delectable array of edible fungi that lined dinner tables in the area. He is now  happy to tell Fungus Fair newbies that his favorite mushroom is the black chanterelle (“they’re mysterious,” he says). 

Delicious meals are but one type of draw to the study of mycology – other members we spoke with yesterday expressed interest in the taxonomy of the fungi kingdom, in dyeing clothes from the mushroom’s natural pigment, and in the sheer camaraderie that’s inherent in finding roughly 800 others with an atypical attraction to fine fungal growth. 

“There’s a lot of mentoring that goes on,” says Norm Andresen, MSSF member and conductor of the society’s beginner’s forays into the wilds of McLaren Park and other damp corners of the Bay. A Brobdingnagian, white-haired man, Andresen towers above the tables of the specimen room, keeping his distance from a particularly pungent stand of growths as he answers questions on their providence, properties, and shelf life (“you probably wouldn’t want to eat any of these display ones, they’ve been getting touched by little kids all weekend.”)

In a lecture room a few halls down from Andresen’s post, a man introduced as “the best mushroom photographer in the world” by fair chair person J.R. Blair is playing the music video to his self-penned ode to the fungus among us, “Mushroom Fever.” On repeat. “Hopefully we don’t scare anybody away!” he announces blithely into his microphone as he readies his presentation on his recent mushroom-finding jaunt around the Americas.

Such is the intro to the glory that is Taylor Lockwood, who has achieved a near-godlike status in my eyes by having cobbled together a living off of traveling, digging around in the dirt, and hoisting himself up tree-supported ladders to get the best shot of aerially-inclined mysterious mushrooms. The man flips through a Power Point presentation of some of his best clips, which include squishy mushrooms (“good for the kids!”), fungi resembling tropical purple coral (“probably just convergent evolution”), and Brazilian ‘shrooms he captured on illicit night-time jaunts through a nature preserve.

Lockwood’s pitch for his calendars and assorted publications concluded, we wander past the sold-out mushroom soup kitchen and into the realm of Pat George, the society’s culinary chair. George, set up at at a table kitty-corner from an impressive display of psilocybin, is distributing recipes and information on the group’s regular potluck dinners. She explains that the events feature a carefully planned barrage of  the mushroom’s power to sate — mushroom ragus, mushroom desserts flavored by candy cap mushrooms (“cheesecake, biscotti, there’s all kinds of stuff you can make with a candy cap,” she ventures), even the rare bottle of mushroom beer. 

It’s all very tasty, as is the prospect of the MSSF’s other fare for the nascent mycological enthusiast. Beginners are welcome also to the group’s regular forays into the not-quite-wild for ‘shrooms, many of which are located here in the city for extreme accessibility. For the lazy, Far West Fungi has set up a stand in the vendor hall that stocks the farm’s “mini-farms” in oyster and shiitake — simply uncover the germinated logs and let the fungal growth loose in a shady corner of your bedroom. 

Why so much mushroom mania here in the Bay? The answer, says SF State mycology lecturer Thomas Jenkinson, who is stationed at the fair’s “Introduction to Mushrooms” booth, lies in the ubiquity of fungi throughout the year in our fair glens and dales. “The Bay Area’s a real center of mycology,” he tells me. San Francisco State is the site of the West Coast’s longest study of mycology, as well as what he calls “the most prolific mycology professors.”

And mushrooms lend themselves to a real community notion of life in our natural world. “Fungus is a whole other kingdom – we don’t think about it that much because it’s underground, but microscopic threads of it are just everywhere,” says Jenkinson. The ‘shrooms are getting real neighborly down there, due to these interconnected systems. “The concept of individuality that we have – they just don’t have that underground.” Lack of individuality: a trait hardly shared by the mycological aficionados of Fungus Fair.

 

Saint Gravy

2

There is a certain faction of society — I think it’s pretty large, if you judge by NorCal standards — that regards Wavy Gravy as some sort of mystical deity from their parents’ generation. We’re not sure what he did, but you should probably address him as Mr. Gravy ’til he tells you not to.

This is a perception that is left unquibbled-with by director Michelle Esrick’s ten year labor of docu-love, Saint Misbehavin’: The Wavy Gravy Movie (opening Fri/3 in Bay Area theaters), and further untouched by my interview with Esrick and the man himself.

Saint Misbehavin’ opening scenes are an iteration of a tie-died holy man’s daily routine. We start out in Wavy’s corner bedroom, awash in sitting Buddha figurines, plastic Disney toys, beads, books, and other sacred objects. Wavy enters, and says a pray and a brief recitation of his heroes. 

This spoken list serves as a blueprint for the bio-pic to come: Jesus, Mohammed, Ghandi, MLK Jr., Jerry Garcia are among those name-dropped. They serve as a background compass for the movie’s neatly plotted trajectory of Wavy’s life: Gravy is born in New York, goes from folk-beatnik Greenwich Village, to acid be-ins with Kesey in California, to the Further Bus.

And then: a stint with the Hopi tribe, and later, off to the East: to Nepal to heal blindness (with the aide of his international medical non-profit Seva). Of course, his creation of Camp Winnarainbow, a summer camp that has been teaching West Coast flower children how to play for three generations now. Today, Wavy is an elder statesman of hippies and their descendents as well as a frozen dessert. His sold-out birthday spectaculars attract crowds like a Phish concert. 

A more recognizable Gravy. Photo Courtesy of Ripple Effect Films

But for our movie-viewing purposes those names at the start also essential because we don’t get to hear a whole lot about Wavy’s inner monolouge in the flick – he’s onstage here, clowning away as he does, well everywhere, not really dishing per se. Saint Misbehavin’ is no E! True Hollywood Story

So when I got the chance to sit face to face with the man (I wore a Ringling Brothers clown hat, he had on a blue bowler and carried his familiar fish on a leash), I thought maybe we’d talk a little about how he got so Gravy. “It’s not too many kids that grow up to be a seminal member of so many artistic scenes,” I say. “Washington Park in the early ’60s, SF during the ’60s, Woodstock… but what was special about Hugh Romney (that was his square name from before he was Wavy — even before his first nom de nonsense Al Dente), how’d you get to where you are today?”

Gravy, just a little sleepy-looking in the warm office building where our interview takes place, tells me “one thing just followed from another, listing off his general path across the world.” Such is the role of a tribe elder talking to a youngster: there are things that we are not to know. What more do we need to know, really? He quotes Thelonius Monk, a friend who stand-up comedian Hugh Romney opened for. “Everyone is a genius by just being themselves.”

That’s his deal: the rainbow he travels on is available to us all, if we can only see it and trust to it’s pretty suspended bands of color. Luckily, we do have Saint Misbehavin’ to get literal with. Esrick has put together a wild ride and the information it contains teaches about Wavy’s contributions to the hippie and anti-Vietnam war movement. He was on the front lines back then – Esrick tells me that the way he deals with the chronic pain he sustains from police beatings from those days is one of the most impressive things she learned about Wavy in the 10 years she spent researching for the film with him. 

I ask Wavy his reaction to seeing his epic life laid out on celluloid for thousands of strangers’ viewing pleasure. He refused to see early versions of the film when Esrick was still editing: what was it like to finally view the real thing? “You realize what a long strange trip it was – and continues to be,” he says after a moment’s pause. “It was the only time I’ve ever seen Wavy speechless,” Esrick smiles.

And so I leave our interview without really having gained any insider info on the life of Gravy. But I haven’t departed without a few gems, the primos being the story of meeting his wife (“she put peanuts in my hamburger and I fell in love,”) tips for graceful protests: “I always gave the best cop my rose. They were always very touched,” vegetarianism: “remember you are not what you eat, you are what you don’t shit,”and the truth about relations with the Middle East, spoken by a man who traveled through Iraq and Afghanistan on a rainbow bus in the 1970s: “They know the difference – there are ugly Americans that you see, and there are fellow travelers on the path of life. They recognized us as the latter.”

This from Michelle: “A full biography of Wavy’s would be 10 movies. I was interested in stringing a necklace of pearls together.” Maybe there are things we’re not supposed to know about those on high, or rather, that we don’t have to in order to know that they’re up there.

Epilogue: To gauge what maybe I am missing from the story of Wavy by virtue of not having been there in the glory days, I texted my mom today. “What did Wavy Gravy mean to you back in the day? Was he cool?” She wrote back “I don’t remember him!” Which of course, means she was really there. 

 

Saint Misbehavin’: The Wavy Gravy Movie opens Fri/3 in Bay Area theaters.  

 

One latte, art therapy on the side

2

What will your art look like when you have trouble remembering your last painting — or offspring? On the week of next, you’ll be able to sip your Cafe International espresso and ponder the answer. In the cafe’s new art installation, one-third of the pieces on the walls will be by Alzheimer patients (Tues/7). 

What you can look forward to: “The pointillist and – let’s call it aboriginal flavor of some of the work can be seen as a common trait,” says Patricia Ris, co-curator of the exhibit. “Some artists will bend their vertical lines, and there seems to be a tendency toward some aspects of surrealism and superimposition. But I’m being very unscientific here.” 

Ris (a creative activities coordinator at an SF adult day care center) and gerontologist-theater artist Caitlin Morgan of the Alzheimer’s Association decided to bring attention to their innovative work with seniors by integrating their art into the Care International’s regular wall fare of professional etchers and sketchers. 

The pieces are created as part of a therapeutic program that allows patients to take their mind off of memory loss for a moment. With the help of an instructor, Alzheimer’s sufferers create vivid canvas evocations that can bring up elemental reactions in the viewer. In one, a red-headed woman holds a hand over her shocked face — a key indication at discomfort over what is coming out of her mouth.  

Morgan also runs weekend camps for these older folk that not only give caretakers a chance to have a 24-hour period to focus on their own lives, but also give the Alzheimer’s patients a chance to try some new things. A recent NPR piece on her work highlighted Morgan’s focus on letting patients do what they feel needs to be done – telling a grandmother who insists she’s late for school that there’s no classes that day, or letting an elderly ex-carpenter work at a chair leg for the better part of an hour with invisible tools. It’s all a part of “reading between the lines,” fostering that interior mind that can seem to be in jeopardy for many people, but that is often just struggling to adjust to a new world. 

“Having worked with many Alzheimer’s patients who have lost their word-finding ability, I have seen firsthand, over and over, that art is a way for them to express what words no longer can,” says Morgan, who first came into contact with senior citizen patients while she was performing with a traveling theater troupe. She says that art can be a method of alleviating frustration for those that can’t deal with early symptoms of the disease – as well as a way of describe the weird, wacky world that they are coming into contact with through their memory loss. “The connection between Alzheimer’s and art is one of necessity,” concludes Ris. 

Morgan says that the work of Alzheimer’s patients probably shouldn’t be judged by the same yardsticks as other coffee shop work, that it’s primary use is that of therapy for the artist themselves. But I can imagine sitting next to Maurice’s eerie bird-woman, or Patricia’s bouquet of impressionist flowers and reflecting on an entirely different breed of cleansing: that life — even in the midst of degenerative disease — will go on and on, and in color no less.

(From top to bottom, paintings by Tamara, Maurice, and Patricia)

“Painting from the Heart: Alzheimer’s Art”

Opening reception Tues/7 6-9:30 p.m., free

Cafe International

508 Haight, SF

(415) 867-4617

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hot sexy events: December 1-7

2

Are you an ecosexual? Do you enjoy skinny dipping, walking barefoot through tall grasses, thrill to a particularly hot sunset – perhaps fill with a lover’s rage at the notion of mountaintop removal and clear-cut forests? 

Well then. Annie Sprinkle is out, and proud, and ready to help you be too: the classic neo-porn star has participated in lavish art weddings the world over with partner Beth Stevens to bind themselves to Mother Earth’s peaks and valleys (often with Annie’s 36E peaks on prominent display). Sprinkle is taking the show to Mission Control for an eco-party tomorrow (Thurs/2), along with Carol Queen’s demonstration of eco-friendly sex toys, and a Gaiia-centered ritual with Francesca Gentille. You may just come out of the earth-loving closet yourself, nature mama.

 

Bunny Pistol’s Holiday Party

Before you unwrap your presents, watch your (onstage) presents unwrap themselves – burlesque woman-about-town Bunny Pistol is bringing her friends, door presents, and goodies to one of Polk Street’s best bars: the Hemlock. Come make merry…

Wed/1 8:30-11:30 p.m., $6

Hemlock Tavern

1131 Polk, SF

(415) 923-0923

www.hemlocktavern.com


Speakeasy: Ecosexual

Green porno, x-rated environmental activists, closed door rites with a tantra shaman, oh my! Mission Control’s pushing pause on their swinging sex-a-thons for a night to honor the earth. Turns out there’s quite a few of our town’s sex luminaries that are more than willing to connect their cumming with conservation.

Thurs/2 7-11 p.m., $15-20 members and allies only

Mission Control

2519 Mission, SF

www.missioncontrolsf.org


Bent Black and Blue Gala

SF’s kinky youth fiesta is turning five and best believe they’re throwing themselves a soiree. This one will include a designated whipping girl for birthday spanks, magic shows, an anal ring toss (!), and all-night showings of This Ain’t Avatar on the big screen. Plus all the play you can play, you naughty young things.

Fri/3 9 p.m.-2 a.m., $20

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-2746

www.sfcitadel.org


First Friday Follies: F#%k the Holidays

Started as a bangin’ burlesque after-party for downtown Oakland’s Art Murmur walk, First Friday Follies has turned into an attraction unto itself – no cover burlesque? No problem! I’ve had reports that previous shows have involved the onstage canoodling of a ham and cheese sandwich (different lovely ladies playing each filling ingredient), and this week’s theme, F#%k the Holidays, seems like it will lend itself to striptacular shenanigans. 

Fri/3 9:30 p.m., free

Stork Club

2330 Telegraph, Oakl.

(510) 444-6174

www.storkcluboakland.com


Joy Alchemy Playshop

This new sex play space in downtown Oakland has taken to offering regular theme nights that center around rather ambiguous, good things. This month: entice and titillate. At the same time?! Yes, I know, it’s a bit repetitious, but the night promises to be chock-full of everything. Yes everything: art, story-telling, improv, nudity, acceptance, lovin’. Plus, your registration gets you a “session with Hamid”! Who is Hamid, you ask? Direct all questions to hamidrb@yahoo.com. Oh, and it’s also a potluck.

Sat/4 5:30-9:30 p.m., $40-45 pre-registration encouraged

Joy Alchemy

2273 Telegraph, Oakl.

(510) 693-6822

www.joyalchemy.joyofcreativity.com


Eclipse

5,400 square feet of dungeon play space for all women, women-identified, or transpeople. Hosted by Ms. Cat and Ajax, Eclipse is a regularly occurring female space, and this party promises to be no less steamy and sexy as the rest of their three years of frolicking have been.

Sat/4 8 p.m.- 1 a.m., $25

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-2746

www.sfcitadel.org

 

Rites of nude math professors and Berkeley

0

“Frankly, I’m a bit baffled by all this,” Frenkel told us in an email follow-up to a phone interview conducted later this week. The UC Berkeley math professor was referring to the fact that the Mathematical Sciences Research Institute, who had announced they would sponsor today (Wed/1)’s US premiere of his sensual math film, Rites of Love and Math, decided to pull their support earlier this week.

They had us at “sensual math film.”

“I don’t look at it as an erotic film, but there are some erotic elements,” says Frenkel. After meeting with some filmmakers in Paris, where he was on a research trip, Frenkel teamed up with Reine Graves to produce a 26-minute short that is shot on a Japanese kabuki set in a vivid palette of reds, whites, and blacks. He and co-star Kayshonne Insixieng May appear naked on a bed throughout most of the piece.

The film was inspired by a Japanese writer, Yukio Mishima, whose movie Yukoku (its English title: Rites of Love and Death, get it?) follows an army lieutenant faced with his friends’ planned coup ‘d état against their emperor. The lieutenant makes love to his wife for the last time before they ritually disembowl themselves. Years later, Mishima committed a similar suicide.

Frenkel’s version, though it borrows heavily from the aesthetics of Yukoku, has been called slightly more “Dan Brown.” In his film, a mathematician finds the formula of love, precious information he realizes might be harnessed by the powers of evil. Sensing impending doom, the brave calculator arrives at his lover’s house to etch the formula onto her stomach – preserving it. It is meant to be commentary on the dilemmas that scientists face when they discover life-changing findings – think Robert Oppenheimer of the Manhattan Project.

We asked Frenkel whether he expected that his nude scenes the movie would change his students’ view of math (and their professor) and he replied “to me, the ideas expressed in this film aren’t far from what I teach [students] in my class. Although, when I do it in the classroom, I do it in a much more conventional way.” Missionary? We kid. He expects the film to make the connection between math and the humanities, math and the world around us.

Frenkel also wrote the script in an effort to combat the strident negative stereotyping of mathematicians in the media as anti-social mad scientists. “A formula could be beautiful, like a piece of music, or a poem, or a painting,” he says.

Which seems like something the Mathematical Sciences Research Institute would be on board with. The organization’s stated mission is “to foster the genuine interest in mathematics held by people of all ages.” What better than a temperature-raising ode to the power of plus, minus, and divide? (For the record, the short’s unrated, though Frenkel somewhat optimistically estimates it would be deemed PG-13.)

Robert Bryant, the MSRI’s director, did have this to say in a letter published on the group’s website: “Early in the week of November 22, I began to get emails from distressed and upset colleagues who had viewed the trailer and found it disturbing, offensive, and/or insulting to women.” Though Bryant himself has seen both Frenkel’s version and the Mishima original, and found a screening of the two together “at first glance, to be a natural fit for MSRI,” he eventually caved to pressure from those for which Frenkel’s trailer “was revealing deep-seated gender issues in the mathematics community.” Another of MSRI’s stated goals are the advancement of women in all levels of the study of math.

Frenkel, who grew up in a small town near Moscow is surprised at the response to his film in his adopted community, home of such a storied free speech movement. 

“It appears that the criticism came mostly from people who have not seen the film!” he says in his email response. “I think one shouldn’t jump to conclusions about any film after watching a two-minute trailer. I think some will view this as a form of prior censorship, because those who have criticized the film and put enormous pressure on MSRI to pull out have in effect tried to suppress the film before it was shown.” 

He adds that his co-director Graves is “herself a woman director in a male dominated field,” and that the film has been screened on three different continents and featured positively in a number of publications including Science magazine. “The film is not a commentary of gender issues in science, and it should not be interpreted this way.”

At any rate, it all should make for a thrilling Q and A at the end of the free screening, which will be attended by Frenkel himself.

Marginalizing women? Or celebrating their role in truth and integers?

Rites of Love and Math and Rites of Love and Death (Yukoku)

Wed/1 7 p.m.; 

Free with tickets available at East Bay Media Center (1939 Addison, Berk.)

Landmark Shattuck Cinemas

2230 Shattuck, Berk.

(510) 464-5980

www.ritesofloveandmath.com

 

What the Dickens

5

caitlin@sfbg.com

DAYS OF YORE For some, the holidays mean a frenzied stagger through the mall or a return to the cocoon of familial love. Others simply curl into a fetal position and try to block out consumerism’s bland canned tinkle of bells.

But for many in the Bay Area, the holidays mean donning some crinoline, a corset, or a snappy cravat and traipsing about a maze of freshly built village streets — engaging perfect strangers with a faux Victorian British accent. Such is life at the Great Dickens Christmas Fair, a nine-day event celebrating its 32nd year of “‘Appy Christmas, guv’nuh!”

In a foul, holiday-incurred blackness of a hangover, I was learning about the intricacies of epochal mass delusion in the Dickens family parlor — a party of cucumber sandwiches and polite conversation in a cozy corner of the Cow Palace, where the fair is set. Kevin Patterson, a beaming dandy of a man, greeted me with a blast of British cheer, although we quickly settled back into Californian when my somewhat reduced energy level and clumsy manhandling of a porcelain teacup became apparent.

Patterson’s parents started the fair, inspired by the sartorial glee of the Renaissance Pleasure Faire. “It was a natural shift from Queen Elizabeth and Shakespeare to Queen Victoria and Charles Dickens,” he tells me. Three generations of his family are now involved in its production, including his children and wife, Leslie. He says a fair of this kind exists nowhere else, not even in merry olde England.

I’m trying to figure out what makes a person want to be a part of such an involved pantomime. The three acres of Dickensian playground are host to more than 800 performers. There are the can-can girls flashing their bloomers at Mad Sal’s dockside alehouse, Father Christmas, homeless drunks, even the queen herself, who promenades past us to the loud delight of the waitstaff inside the family parlor.

The cast also includes a shriveled Scrooge (who is flown over from England specifically to play the role), dogs, and small children. Here and there dart 10-year-old boys delivering telegrams. Everyone is speaking in some approximation of Victorian dialect, and most seem reluctant to break through their shamming — we run into a belligerent William Sykes, apparently prior to being deported to Australia on charges of manslaughter, in one of the fair’s five (!) bars at one point and are nearly put off our spiced mead by his growlings.

It’s all about the season, Patterson explains. He tells me that the Victorian era, the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution, was when many of the traditions we celebrate today came about. “It was a simpler time.”

Perhaps, but not if you base your impressions of, say, the costume guidelines for the hundreds of cheery participants (easily seen on the fair’s website), or the dialect instructions, or the weekly e-mail missives that gently remind players that cell phones were not a feature of 1800s England and are not to be brandished, even if it is to take a photo of the live corset models or — gasp! — Dickens himself. “Authenticity is important. Most people in our cast care so much about doing it right,” says Patterson.

The rules of conduct are so expansive that classes are offered at a nearby high school in the weeks leading up to the fair for those hoping to brush up on their speech, improvisation skills (all the better to create the “environmental theater” effect Patterson IS looking for) as well as how to make your own clothing. Most people in those days had to, you know.

But the casual visitor to the Great Dickens Christmas Fair need not adhere to all these strictures, though I did feel très gauche in my jeans and hooded sweatshirt. We spent most of our time in the “unsavory” parts of town where custom dictates glottal stops for words with double t’s, and “anyfink” instead of “anything.” You find the filthiest drunks thereabouts, not to mention the boozy pub songs of Mad Sal’s, and a boudoir photography booth to show off your new spendy corsetry from Hayes Valley’s Dark Garden.

Not to mention an absinthe bar (pouring some local brews), hair-braiding salons, an explorer’s club, steampunk wonder shows, tarot readers, meat pies, crafts galore — and the happenstance magic of coming across a bunch of Dickensians spontaneously acting out some scene of yore-ness, not because they’re being watched by a gawking family but because they really, really like playing out life in Victorian England.

In one such scene, two women were strumming mandolins on the floor, their tiny ankle boots peeking out from voluminous skirts. Around them a perfectly period audience looked on from chairs set against the walls. Even in my slightly dehydrated, deflated state, I could enjoy their dedication to this homey weirdness.

“It’s our family holiday. We look forward to celebrating it every year,” twinkles Patterson, as I bid adieu to the posh environs of the family parlor. Charles Dickens himself sees me out onto the fake street outside, thanking me for attending his fair.

GREAT DICKENS CHRISTMAS FAIR

Sat/4–Sun/5, Dec.11–12, Dec.18–19;

11 a.m.–7 p.m., $12–$25

Cow Palace

2600 Geneva, SF

1-800-510-1558

www.dickensfair.com

 

Live Shots: Yard Dogs Road Show, The Independent, 11/27/10

0

All photos by Allen David

Note to self: stuff pockets with glitter. The concept was out in full force for Yard Dogs Road Show’s “Glitter and Gold” Thanksgiving weekend show at The Independent (on Saturday, the second of a two-night run). And those prancing, bejeweled pony girls sure didn’t disappoint — neither did the dancing, singing marionette girls, or the multi-cannon explosions of confetti with which the show climaxed. Great visuals, them. The music ranged from Broadway D-Liscious’ rubber-ankled lounge rendition of “The Life of the Party,” to head bangers, to sexy, warbled somethings — which sounded sexier (like they always do) when sung by a woman on an accordian. Here’s hoping we don’t have to wait another two years for the Dogs to get let out in the Bay once more. 

Hot sexy events: November 24-30

1

Femina Potens is moving up and out! But not too far. According to an email sent by the gallery featuring a look back by director-founder Madison Young, SF’s favorite woman-run, sex-positive workshop/art show/bacchanal is celebrating its 10th anniversary this month with a move to a larger space that will still be on Market Street.

Says Young of the initial creation of FP, which she named after a tattoo meaning “powerful women” that she saw on a woman’s arm: “I was only 20 years old but felt a very clear calling to create space for people to feel comfortable to express and explore their identity, their bodies, their boundaries, with out shame through art, sexuality, and education.” Oh, and she’ll be incepting a little something of her own: this hot mama’s preggers. Come March 2011, she’ll there will be another MILF on the scene, plus one more body-positive little girl in the world.

Busted: Nips!

Just in case all that bare turkey flesh you’ll be feasting on tomorrow isn’t enough tender meat for you, Chaps is holding the nipples edition of their Busted! fetish nights – eat your nips with a $2.50 Bridgeport IPA or grab a nipple clamp, the evening’s 4 dollar Rolling Rock pint and Tullamore Whiskey shot special.

Wed/24 all night

Chaps 

1225 Folsom, SF

(415) 255-2427

www.chapsbarsanfrancisco.com


Free Entry at Eros

Let’s give thanks for a city that allows us to frolick freely, to share our true selves with a like-minded community, to go to a sex club, expect sweaty satisfaction, and get it – all night long. Eros is certainly down to say grace. The club is inviting all men to make a shower stop for free on this day of gratitude – so carve some hunky turkey and mash those potatoes good. 

Thurs/25 6 p.m.-12 a.m., free

Eros 

2051 Market, SF

(415) 864-3767

www.erossf.com


Traditional Thanksgiving Potluck

A couple reasons why this yearly Citadel event isn’t really all that traditional: one, it’s on the Friday after gobblin’ day. Two, the scene is less in-laws and more BDSM playmates. Three, although it’s not explicitly meant to turn into whippin’ time after the food’s shared, the event description does allow that “being the kinky folks we are….well, ya just never know!” A great way to burn off pie calories, no?

Fri/26 5-9 p.m., free with dish to share

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-2746

www.sfcitadel.org

RSVP: melanie.a.derby@gmail.com


Post Turkey Twist and Shout

Red Hots Burlesque assembles a crack cast of some of the burlesque troupe’s long lost favorites – Fannie Fuller of the Diamond Daggers is here visiting from Portland, Oregon for her solo debut at Red Hots Burlesque and the Flying Fox has spread her wings all the way from New York City. Whatever their mailing zip codes now, these ladies plan to un-zip some serious coquettish talent.

Fri/26 7:30 p.m., $5-10 sliding scale

El Rio

3158 Mission, SF

(415) 282-3325

www.elriosf.com


The 15 Association Party

The longest-standing West Coast gay male BDSM organization, 15 Association is run entirely by volunteers that want to ensure you have a good, safe time in the dungeon of your dreams. This party is meant to be for experienced doms and subs, but if you’re new to the game you can speak with the Association for an invitation at their website

Sat/27 8 p.m.-1 a.m., $25

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-2746

www.sfcitadel.org


Beautiful Bondage

Tying your lovely up need not detract from their genuine preciousness. This course examines the art of bondage with an emphasis on the aesthetic. Harnesses, immobilizing ties, and techniques of upping the sweet torment involved will all be covered in the class, as well as the requisite safety talk.  

Tues/30 8-10 p.m., $20

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-2746

www.sfcitadel.org

 

Good for the Jews vs. the San Franciscan Nazi

0

Rob Tannenbaum is a man with opinions on holidays. Thanksgiving, transcendent: “if it were up to me, I would be drinking turkey gravy.” Christmas, yawn: “it’s the most boring time of year. There’s not too much to do past stay at home and watch It’s a Wonderful Life on TV. 

And Hanukkah, time to go see his comedy-music duo Good for the Jews (Cafe Du Nord, Dec. 1): “There’s a long and storied tradition of Jews in San Francisco. I hope that we will see evidence of that.” Tickets would make a great present for the first of those eight crazy nights… 

Tannenbaum and partner David Fagin (who respectively moonlight as music editor of Blender and frontman for nice guy-pop band The Rosenbergs) sing well placed mockeries of Jewaphrenalia, my favorite of which being “Rueben the Hook-Nosed Reindeer,” though I’m also partial to the lounge stylings of “Going Down to Boca.” Their work comes as a follow up to Tannenbaum’s previous comedy project: What I Like About Jew, an act performed at New York’s The Knitting Factory that sold out shows six years running. 

Tannenbaum is aware of what his audience wants, mainly because it’s what he himself wants out of Judaic entertainment. “When I was kid and they played Jewish music in our synagogue, it was always so horrible. It was earnest and boring, like a cross between the Indigo girls and the Old Testament.” In Good for the Jews’ creation, he was looking to capitalize on the legacy of mischief and humor inherent in Jewish consciousness, the same legacy from whence he says come Sarah Silverman and Jon Stewart’s riffs. “I wanted to start a show that was traditionally Jewish but didn’t make being Jewish seem like the most boring thing in the world,” he says. 

His tongue-in-cheek celebration of his faith – well hold up, because maybe “faith” is a bad word for how Tannebaum experiences being a Jew. He told me in our recent phone interview that he only darkens temple’s door a few times a year on the high holidays, but that he likes the idea of people getting into a room to celebrate shared heritage. “The same thing is true at our show, but at our show you can drink, which I don’t think you can do at temple,” he quips. His Jewishness, he says, lies in “the things I eat, the things I laugh at, the books I read, the TV shows I watch – they’re not Jewish themed, but my gestalt is Jewish. As is my circumsized penis.”

Okay, so his tongue-in-cheek celebration of his gestalt-penis, then, delights the crowds that go to see it, most of whom have been urban, many secular Jews like himself – but diverse in ways he didn’t expect  they would be when the duo launched a tour that included dates in Utah, Colorado, and New Mexico earlier this year. He says at a few gigs Fagin and himself outnumbered the amount of Jews in the audience. “But sometimes those shows are more rewarding,” he says.  

But the duo’s frank irreverence has been known to attract negative attention as well. Which brings us to our next topic: San Franciscan Nazis.

The last time the Good for the Jews duo played SF, they were greeted by a chap goose-stepping to some inner notion of bigot matyrdom: an Aryan Pride guy who’d come to protest their show. Tannenbaum recalls the situation in his standard one liner manner (“He felt that we were representative of the Jewish-owned media. If we’re representing Zionist power, then why am I staying at a Holiday Inn?”) 

But somewhere in his memory of the event lurks the indignation it triggered: the experience of being a musician about to play a show at a respectable venue who runs into the very prejudice that his ironic music implicitly calls passé. Tannenbaum tells me he actually went outside to have a conversation with the fellow, but had to retreat when he felt himself approaching the thought of violence. “When you hear someone insulting your ancestors it tends to rile up the blood a little bit.” 

The incident, in a strange way, speaks to why he’s looking forward to next week’s comedy show. “This sounds like malarky, but I really do love San Francisco. It’s the only city where I think, yeah I could live here.” Nazis and all. “It’s the end result of so much tolerance: if you’re going to tolerate people you have to tolerate Nazis, too.”


Good for the Jews

Wed/1 8 p.m., $12-15

Cafe Du Nord

2170 Market, SF

(415) 292-1233

www.cafedunord.com

 

The high harvest

0

caitlin@sfbg.com

CULTURE “There was some sweet in there and some spice — it was like finger food, you could eat it like chips.” Larry Medders, 11-year resident of the Cecil Williams Glide Community House, is showing off the new rooftop garden, installed by the San Francisco Zen Center, on top of his nine-story supportive housing complex. He’s talking about his introduction to kale.

Medders cooks for himself in his studio apartment and used to stick to the same meals. He likes pasta and herbal teas, which he now brews with the mint and chamomile growing upstairs. An older man from the South endowed with a becoming drawl, he comes up once a day “to water and make sure everything’s in its place.” At the opening ceremony for the new green space, Medders tried the iron-rich greens for the first time. “Now I’m hooked,” he says.

If a once-bare Tenderloin rooftop seems like an incongruous spot to grow spinach, carrots, lemons, blueberries, parsley, onions, and tomatoes (a few of the nascent crops at the Community House), it shouldn’t. The buzzing streets below Medders’ feet offer sparse play areas for children, occasional safety risks, and few places to buy fresh veggies.

The city has tried to attract grocery stores to the area, so far unsuccessfully. “Grocery store operators and other retailers perceive that the area is unsafe and have expressed concerns about the safety of their employees and customers,” says Amy Cohen, director of neighborhood business development. TL residents largely must content themselves with corner stores for neighborhood shopping trips — a bummer for low-income seniors who live in the area.

For the residents of Community House’s 55 units — many dealing with life post-addiction and homelessness and all low income — the roof was already a place to gather. Building barbeques were common. But they knew the rooftop could be much more. “I just wanted to see more greenery, because it really is beautiful,” Medders says.

Enter the San Francisco Zen Center (www.sfzc.org). The center has operated in tandem with Muir Beach’s Green Gulch Farm since the early 1970s, providing a green dojo for meditation students and producing organic produce for restaurants such as Greens in Fort Mason. Says Zen Center vice president Susan O’Connell, “the color green alone is calming, the oxygen and the sense of being surrounded by life.” Gardening can aid in one’s quest for enlightenment, she says. “Zen takes a lot of different forms, it’s not just sitting down.”

Taking inspiration from a garden next door on top of Glide Church, the Zen Center pledged to fill Community House’s communal space with veggies. Now 15 planter boxes built by construction training nonprofit Youth Builds stand at different heights so children and residents in wheelchairs can work them. There are compost bins, shaded tables, chairs, a sink where cooking classes will be held once a local artist finishes painting a mural on the surrounding wall.

The roof’s design, plotted by ex-Green Gulch apprentice Jamie Morf, is laid out so residents can socialize (when Medders and I toured the roof, three children were eating a late lunch on one of the round tables) as well as sit and be thoughtful in nooks designed with peace in mind. “One of the most important precursors to being able to meditate is called taking refuge. But that’s really hard for people in the Tenderloin,” O’Connell says.

We are joined by Patty Rose and Arlinda Van Brunt, two other long-term residents who, with Medders, have stepped up to form the core gardening group. The three teach me about the challenges of running a plot that belongs to every one of the residents living in a nine-story building, including many who have never tended a kitchen garden before. The learning curve can include beginner’s missteps, like overpicking a hardy green onion plant that the trio laments.

“Look at this,” Van Brunt, an energetic woman whose father’s landscaping career left her with a severe aversion to seeing mistreated plants, is pointing at a vertical potato cage that doesn’t seem to be producing the same bushy green leafs as its neighbor. “They overwatered it! It’s our first year, we’re still finding a lot of things out.”

But these kinds of small setbacks show that the garden is being used — and often, they lead to new discoveries in and of themselves. The aforementioned rotting potato cage attracted the notice of the roof’s nightcrawlers, which must have scooted the 10 feet between their two massive bins to the cage, where they were discovered by Van Brunt.

The composting process in the worm bins is now one of her favorite parts of the garden. With the aid of Medders, she lifts the heavy metal lid of one of the bins and pulls aside the shredded newspaper piled on top of the composting material. Underneath, there is a teeming, squirming mass of pink worms. Van Brunt tenderly fingers a handful of them. “Look at that, are they really breeding in there? The nastier it is, the more they like it,” she says, exhibiting the satisfaction of a woman who has taken charge of her food system.

What I remember of my interview with Yard Dogs Road Show

0

“I brought my costume, it’s in this bag. Well except for the pants.” The song and dance man of the Bay’s vaudevillian acid bordello, Broadway Freddie (aka Miguel Strong, or Michael if you’re trying to get technical about it) is already seated at a corner table at the Right Spot Cafe when I arrive to chat about Yard Dog Road Show‘s first headlining show in San Francisco in years (The Independent, Sat/20). 

Broadway-Miguel is wearing a striped tie, suit jacket, and dapper fedora, which by Yard Dogs Road Show standards seems vaguely pedestrian. But then he stands up. Electric blue, leopard print, so-skinny-they’re-emaciated jeans. “Miley Cyrus,” he confides, tossing his shoulder length blonde locks.

It is fitting that Broadway be a theater of the absurd. He is one of the original three progenitors (in addition to founder-manager-hype man Eddy Joe Cotton, who also wrote the heart-stoppingly wanderlustful memoir Hobo, and filmmaker Fletcher Fledujon) of the theatrically absurd touring troupe with which he makes his livelihood. He is artfully decorative in speech — as befits a man who has spent the last eight years of his life in pursuit of a vision received en route to one of Ken Kesey’s acid tests. 

I can’t say he gives me too many tangibles to work with during the course of our conversation, which is fine, because he has given me some lovely images to share in the article. The Yard Dogs Road Show milieu he finds “beyond English or current events, a landscape of dreams.” Also, it is “a sequined and glittered ceremony, a joyous one.” Fledujon, Cotton, and Strong met “organically destined to be in the same constellation of stars.” Broadway himself is “an electron,” a good show is when “the wind goes through you – you’re not doing it, it’s doing you.”

“Would you like a drink?” I ask him. “Oh, well I’m supposed to be” were finger quotes involved here? “On the wagon. But yes, I’ll have one. What are you drinking – a beer? Yes, I’ll have one of those.”

Things that we do manage to establish: the members of Yard Dogs Road Show – all “fifteen or sixteen” of them, travel together in a vintage Greyhound bus, in which none of them have their own beds save Kid Casbah, this because he is “the golden leopard, untouchable.” They are good house guests. One of their pinnacle moments as a troupe was a performance in an old opera house in Braga, Portugal — a performance that took place under an omnibus of a chandelier on a tour that took them to quite a few grand opera houses, the one in Braga being the grandest. 

The gang’s all here, in the Sonoma Hills. Photo by Hilary Hulteen

Its upcoming shows – the first time the group has had its own night in the Bay in two years — is for friends and family, in the looser sense of those words. New material will be debuted, this new material involving a carousel of prancing, bejeweled pony girls that Broadway and I conclude will resemble “peeking inside a Faberge egg,” a rocket man, and the Queen of Pineapple Island. We would be remiss if we did not mention that the talents of Scotty the Blue Bunny, aerialist Abigail Munn, DJ Shawna, and belly dance impresario Zoey Jakes, will be making their appearances over the two-night run.

At this point, beers have been had. We are touching on the art of the interview. Broadway says the back and forth is a skill he cherishes, and that his last two talks with a journalist were conducted from his bathtub and shower, respectively. “Do you know what would make this a truly great interview?” Broadway leans across our table, holding my gaze. “If we got absolutely wasted! The bartender can finish asking us the questions.” 

I mention I enjoy Bulleit bourbon and it is liberally applied to our conversation. At this point we must rely on my trusty notebook for the gems that were imparted. 

 

(This in the hand of the friendly bartender, who had been reading an Us Weekly upon our interruption)

Q: How do you feel about J. Simpson’s engagement?

B- Holy f…

C- Nick f??? friend Courtney or danced w/ her at club.

Q: What celebs met recently

B- Garry Busey on tour bus in Malibu. Friendly, liked bus. Wrote # on cigarette pack.

C- Paul Mooney – belligerent interview. Stressed out. Kathy Griffin was a total bitch. 

B- Oscar Grant? Don’t want to go there. What art school CC of A & Crafts

(Drawing of a cell phone with a line drawn over it)

C- 3 beers: surprisingly drunk

S- what kind of whiskey would you like?

(In my handwriting)

happy excess

(sketch by Broadway of suspended circles and stars)


I think Broadway then banged out a few impromptu tunes on The Right Spot’s piano, we drank more whiskey, shenanigans, and we called it a night.

More concrete information is to be had from the Yard Dogs Road Show website itself. For instance, after a bit of digging one can turn up a rider that states that the group requires eight vegetarian and seven omnivorous meals from show venues that do catering, tortilla chips and spicy salsa “of the health food store variety” if not. Three bottles of red wine and 24 bottles of “Stella beer or comparable” either way. To me, this says a conscious approach to health in solid foods, followed by a healthy disregard for matters of the liver. 

Here’s how the “great” (it really was) interview ended: Broadway and I mutually supporting each other outside the cafe, a freak November monsoon raging around us. “So. Did we cover everything?” he wonders. “I think we did a good job,” I slur at him before giving my final regards to Broadway and tripping away in the rain. I still believe it to be the case.

(Sorry about leaving you the tab, Miguel!)

Yard Dogs Road Show

With El Radio Fantastique, Zoe Jakes, DJ Shawna, and more 

Fri/26 and Sat/27 9 p.m., $20

The Independent

628 Divisadero, SF

(415) 771-1421

www.theindependentsf.com

 

Lust for justice, Tony Serra style

0

“So Paulette Frankl, why did you want to write a book about Tony Serra?” It seems like a reasonable question. After all, the “long hair” woman before me spent a good 17 years of work on her biography of San Francisco’s most famous counter culture lawyer (book release party at Fort Mason Sat/20, btw). Her answer was a bit surprising. 

“I didn’t want to write a book about him! I wanted to be his artist!”

The inability (or lack of desire) to shape her own involvement in his life speaks to the abject admiration and connection to Serra that has been borne over the last few decades by Frankl. It’s a pull that led her to accompany the lawyer to hearings, speeches, client meetings, and quiet afternoons in Bolinas in the pursuit to capture his inner essence. It’s a pull that seems to baffle even her. 

She’s right when she says she didn’t set out to be a biographer. While living in a planned community (read: commune) outside the city, Frankl agreed to drive a friend to a three-day exam the friend was taking in San Francisco. While she was there, Frankl, a long time painter and sketcher, decided to follow up on a vague interest she’d had to get into court illustration. 

“I thought the lawyers always had money – the worse things get, the more money they get!” In Lust For Justice, her recently completed Serra biography, she tells the story of the first case she saw. A young woman apprehended in a drug bust was being pumped for the names of the dealers involved. In Lust for Justice, Frankl writes that woman said “if I rat they’ll kill me. I’ll be out of prison sooner than I’ll get out of the grave.” 

The pathos in the room was palpable, and it got her creative fruits juiced. Frankl was hooked on the court scene. But when she saw Serra, an SF native given to wearing thrift store finds in the court room and who makes a career of defending those against whom society’s odds were stacked – high profile cases like Huey Newton, Bear Lincoln, minorities facing racist institutions – she was no longer interested in drawing the cross-examination of any other defense counsel. 

Feel like a hung jury yet? Frankl captures the high Serra in Lust for Justice

“I sensed his energy,” she remembers. “I got him on an emotional basis.” Serra is prone to stalking like a lion in court rooms, using his whole body to put on courtroom theater that strikes past juries’ preconceptions to get to understanding on some archetypal level. Frankl shouldered her notepad and resolved to become his traveling court illustrator. “If I can ever capture this man and express him, I will have arrived as an artist,” she recalls thinking.

Serra eventually assented to her demands, and during the Ellie Nestler case – in which a mother from a small town in the Sierra Nevadas shot and killed her six year old son’s molester at the man’s preliminary hearing  –  she realized there was a larger story there, that of Serra’s unflinching dedication to repairing society’s inequities. 

“I said Tony, where’s the book about you? Let’s do it – my art, your words.” They drew up an informal contract on the hood of the car and away they went.

Only, not. Because the very reason Frankl was writing the book about him inevitably became the reason why she’d never have a co-collaborator on the project. “He just always in trial,” she sighed. Forget writing his autobiography, she soon found herself lucky if she could get an hour of his time to talk about the parts of his life she couldn’t see: his childhood, his underlying motivations. 

Many, faced with such apparent disinterest in their project, would have stepped back a bit, but speaking with Frankl it becomes clear that she saw this as no option at all. So enraptured of the man was she that to render his evocative court appearances she devised a new, impressionistic style of court illustration. One drawing (they are neatly captured throughout the self-published Lust for Justice) shows Serra’s hand extended in the closing arguments of the 1997 trial of a Native American charged with a cop killing. A bear crouches over Serra, an animal spirit that Frankl saw vividly during the trial itself.

Trippy? Well, yeah. Frankl’s ethos is firmly grounded in the LSD mind expansion of the ’60s. One chapter attributes Serra’s ability to transcend in his lawyerly duties, to whit: “he willed himself to align his body, mind, and soul with the highest calling of the law: the cause of justice.” The emotional connection she feels with Serra informs the book, which borders on the overly effusive praise of a disciple. But not a disciple that can’t get pissed off at their savior. “I don’t think I overglorify him,” Frankl told me, perhaps prepping for this inevitable assessment of her work. “I mean, he can be a real pain to be around! I wanted this to be my experience of him, though – and I do think of him as a great defense lawyer.”

As he is. And though perhaps Frankl isn’t a master wordsmith (to be fair, she doesn’t claim to be for a moment), but Serra’s story deserves to be available in book form. It’s is a story of a man who doesn’t compromise on anything – from courtroom theatrics to lost cause cases to getting high and/or performing Natvie American protective rites before court sessions. And he’s had some amazing legal victories for defendants against whom the odds were stacked, in a system that oftentimes seems as though it was designed to prevent that from happening.

Told by a woman who was there for much of the story, Lust for Justice certainly lives up to its red-blooded title. To check out the man himself, you can either start hanging out with in judge land, a la Frankl, or hit up her book release party tomorrow, where Tony Serra will be in attendance, no doubt holding court. 

Lust for Justice book release party

Sat/20 5-8 p.m., free

Room C-370

Fort Mason, SF

www.lustforjustice.net

 

also:

Lust for Justice book reading

Sun/21 1 p.m., free

Modern Times Bookstore

888 Valencia, SF

(415) 282-9246

www.mtbs.com