Science

Dance fever

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arts@sfbg.com

FILM “Lose yourself,” ballet company head Thomas (Vincent Cassel) whispers to his leading lady, Nina (Natalie Portman), moments before she takes the stage. But Nina is already consumed with trying to find herself. Rarely has a journey of self-discovery been so unsettling.

Set in New York City’s catty, competitive ballet world, Black Swan samples from earlier dance films (notably 1948’s The Red Shoes, but also 1977’s Suspiria, with a smidgen of 1995’s Showgirls), though director Darren Aronofsky is nothing if not his own visionary. Black Swan resembles his 2008 The Wrestler somewhat thematically, with its focus on the anguish of an athlete under ten tons of pressure, but it’s a stylistic 180. Gone is the gritty, stripped-down aesthetic used to depict a sad-sack strongman. Like Dario Argento’s 1977 horror fantasy, the elegantly choreographed Black Swan is set in a hyper-constructed world, with stabbingly obvious color palettes (literally, white = good; black = evil) and dozens of mirrors emphasizing (over and over again) the film’s doppelgänger obsession.

Of course, none of this is out of line: the ballet at the center of Black Swan is, obviously, Swan Lake, in which a single dancer portrays both the White (good) and Black (evil) Swans. And in dance, mirrors are necessarily everywhere. Nina constantly stares at herself, and not just while practicing her steps. “I just want to be perfect,” she blurts out to Thomas, nervously lobbying for the Swan Queen role — made suddenly available due to the reluctant retirement of the company’s prima ballerina (Winona Ryder, feral and fierce in her few scenes).

See, Nina’s been with the company for four years, and though her talent is apparent, she’s made no waves (or friends, it would seem). All she cares about is dance, and she’s tunnel vision-enabled by her mother (a spooky Barbara Hershey), who babies Nina even as she blames her for monkeywrenching her own ballet career. Portman is 29 years old, and though she’s presumably playing younger here, Black Swan doesn’t pretend she’s a teenager. Thomas’ “visceral and real” (ahem) take on Swan Lake is Nina’s last chance to be a star before she’s too old to be in the running.

If you’ve seen Black Swan‘s poster or provocative trailer, you know that Nina gets the part — and it’s no spoiler to say that her already-fragile mental state gets just as much a workout as her muscles. Although: rarely has any film about ballet (an exquisite, graceful art form) so emphasized its day-to-day tortures, or exaggerated them, as Nina’s deterioration takes some unexpectedly gory detours.

Exacerbating Nina’s frustration is Lily (Mila Kunis), a brand-new addition to the company who resembles Nina in passing, but is otherwise everything the rigid, frigid Nina is not: a sexy, rebellious free spirit whose mere presence jams Nina’s brainwaves. (Not rocket science: Lily symbolizes the Black Swan; Nina, the White.) Naturally, they become frenemies. Lily is “imprecise and effortless,” according to Thomas; meanwhile, his loosen-up advice to the prim Nina is “go home and touch yourself.” The emphasis on masturbation is probably Black Swan‘s corniest conceit, though it does fold into the theme of Nina’s long-overdue awakening of her true self, sexual and otherwise.

As Nina, Portman gives her most dynamic performance to date. In addition to the thespian fireworks required while playing a goin’-batshit character, she also nails the role’s considerable athletic demands. (No need to play spot-the-dance-double, a game most thrillingly deployed during 1983’s Flashdance.) Portman’s intelligence and intense beauty can make it hard for her to seem like a real person onscreen, but as Black Swan‘s dread-filled bird, it all fits. It’s a career-elevating turn (and I suppose she’s finally off the hook for participating in those Star Wars prequels). Nina strives for perfection; Portman owns it.

BLACK SWAN opens Fri/3 in Bay Area theaters.

 

On the cheap listings

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On the cheap listings are compiled by Caitlin Donohue. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

Wednesday 17

Lara Adair Books Inc., 2251 Chestnut, SF; (415) 931-3633, www.booksinc.net. 7 p.m., free. Author Adair shares the secrets she’s privy to via her life of writing and coaching others – and that she’s published in her newest how-to, Naked, Drunk, and Writing. Pick up some pointers at this author talk, just don’t take the title too seriously now.

Dine Around, Shop Around, Drink Around Various venues, SF; (415) 558-6999 x230, www.dineshopdrink.aef-sf.org. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. A great excuse to paint the town red at some of your favorite neighborhood shops and eateries – tonight, 25 percent of your purchases will go towards HIV/AIDS and breast cancer support agencies.

Mole to Die For Mission Cultural Center for Latino Arts, 2868 Mission, SF; (415) 821-1155, www.missionculturalcenter.org. 7-10 p.m., $7. Dive into this Oaxacan delicacy at MCCLA’s cook-off, which this year features a special green mole for the true culinary enthusiasts.

“Saving the Last of the Wild: North American Corridors” California Academy of Sciences, 55 Music Concourse, SF; (415) 379-8000, www.wcs.org/patronseventCA. 6-8 p.m., free. A panel of scientific minds discuss the threat of human development to migration paths – lord, those animals have it rough! RSVP recommended.

Thursday 21

Switchback launch party Books and Bookshelves, 99 Sanchez, SF; www.swback.com. 7-9 p.m., free. The USF graduate school literary journal celebrates the sunshine on Issue No. 12, themed “Minority vs. Majority.” Raise your wine glass to live readings by scholarly bards, and ponder the conflicts between the few and the many in our society.

Friday 22

de Young artisan fair de Young Museum, 50 Hagiwara Tea Garden, SF; (415) 750-3600, www.famsf.org. (also Sat/20) 9:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m., free. Maybe you can’t afford the art up on the walls for your favorite masterpiece loved one this holiday season, but you can snag some one-of-a-kind gifts from the fine arts museum’s bazaar of local artesanals. Browse and shop accessories, clothing, and more.

Hospitality House “Art for the House” art auction The Shooting Gallery, 839 Larkin, SF; (415) 749-2184, www.hospitalityhouse.org. 6-10 p.m., free. Have a drink in the Tenderloin while you peruse for purchase the artwork of individuals from various community programs for the homeless and transitionally housed, including Roaddawgz and the Community Arts Program.

bay area

“Dracula to Twilight” Other Change of Hobbit, 3264 Adeline, Berk. (510) 654-6226, www.otherchangeofhobbit.com. 6-8 p.m., free. A professor and a chronicler of the Saint-Germain novels discuss the portrayal of blood-sucking undead in pop culture’s film and literature. Mortals welcome to attend, just make that your scarf is tied tightly and your garlic earrings are on hand.

Saturday 23

Celebrate People’s History release party Center for Political Education, 522 Valencia, SF; www.politicaleducation.org. 7 p.m., free. Perhaps you’ve caught CPH’s compelling radical prints on your neighborhood community center or bus shelter’s walls – they’ve been around since 1998. The group’s published a retrospective of their most vivid public art and you can celebrate its release here with historian Lincoln Cushing and artist Favianna Rodriguez.

“Science of Perception”: Human Potential Laboratory Southern Exposure, 3030 20th St., SF; (415) 863-2141, www.soex.org. (Also Sun/21) Noon-9 p.m., free. The Anonymous Immortal Collective and career alchemist Ean Huggins-McLean present an opportunity to extend the elasticity of your mortal coil: healing foods, training for aura-sighting, and more from their “new health care system” at this two-day workshop.

Tenderloin Reading Series Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 596-7614. 7 p.m., free. The quarterly dish on the quirks and perks of the infamous TL features readings of poetry, fiction, and creative non-fiction. The much maligned neighborhood doesn’t get too many chances to revel in itself, so this is a great chance to celebrate your city.

bay area

Home and Hope interfaith benefit concert Transfiguration Episcopal Church, 3900 Alameda de las Pulgas, San Mateo. 7 p.m., donations accepted. The Foster City Community Chorus and East Bay Church of Religious Science Choir sing their hearts out in support of Home and Hope Shelter Services. The bringing of pie to the after-reception is highly encouraged.

Vintage Paper Fair Centre Concord, 5298 Clayton, Concord; (415) 814-2330, www.vintagepaperfair.com. (Also Sun/21) 10 a.m.-6 p.m., free. Maybe a bathroom plastered with old school cosmetic ads? Perhaps paper mache your refrigerator with postcards from famous foodie destinations? You can line your apartment with ephemera from antiquity after a shop-stroll through this bazaar of retro paper products – over a million scraps will be on sale.

Wednesday 17

bay area

Charity Turkey Bowl Serra Bowl, 3301 Junipero Serra, Daly City. (650) 992-3444, www.serrabowl.com. 10 a.m.-4 p.m., lanes $25 per hour, donations accepted. Dust off that strike form, young bowler: Serra Bowl is donating a turkey per ten-pin knockout to hunger organizations all day today. Now that’s reason enough to hit the lanes, no?

Down on the farm

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rebeccab@sfbg.com

Sherman Island may barely register for motorists traveling over the Antioch Bridge and through the delta on Highway 160. Almost wholly owned by the Department of Water Resources, the roughly 10,000-acre patch of Sacramento-San Joaquin Delta flatland is barely developed, and probably home to more cows than people. It lies at the confluence of the Sacramento and San Joaquin rivers, where freshwater mixes with the salty seawater of the San Francisco Bay.

What isn’t obvious at first glance is that Sherman Island was once host to highly productive agriculture — but as delta water quality diminished, farmers saw their crop yields plummet. Larry Del Chiaro, who formerly headed the Sherman Island Landowners Association, used to grow asparagus, wheat, barley, safflower, milo, hay, and other crops on the island. But today, like nearly all the others who previously raised crops there, he no longer has property there and has moved on. His story illustrates how California water policies have benefited one group while affecting the livelihoods of the people who live in the state’s central water hub, the delta.

“I was a third-generation farmer on the island,” Del Chiaro told the Guardian on a hot August day in the city of Pittsburg. “My grandfather started it. My father, his brothers, my cousins were all on the island farming.” Del Chiaro majored in soil science in the 1970s and was interested in increasing crop yields, so he set up test plots and was closely monitoring their progress.

But by 1987, the yields were plummeting dramatically — a drought had hit the state, and Sherman Island farmers weren’t getting enough fresh water to sustain their crops. Instead of going to irrigate farmland in the delta, much of the scarce freshwater was being pumped south through the State Water Project to agricultural lands in the arid San Joaquin Valley, causing the delta water to get saltier and saltier.

It presented a problem that was particularly acute in that location. “Sherman Island, to use a cliché, is the plug for the Sacramento Delta,” Del Chiaro said. “We’re the last one to get the freshwater, and the first one to get the saltwater intrusion.”

The North Delta Water Agency, a regional water body, had a contract on behalf of the island’s landowners with the Department of Water Resources (DWR) that guaranteed a certain level of water quality. But DWR’s contractual obligations weren’t met that year. “As the drought continued, our water quality diminished, and diminished, and diminished, till it got to the point where we had to rely on Mother Nature for rainfall,” Del Chiaro said. “And when we didn’t get rainfall, our crops suffered.”

Under state water law, Sherman Island landowners had riparian water rights, which allowed them use of the freshwater that flowed past their land. The overarching problem, he said, was that DWR couldn’t meet contractual obligations to both the delta farmers and the San Joaquin Valley farmers in a dry year because it had over-promised water deliveries through the State Water Project. “We have no control over what Mother Nature gives us in terms of rainfall and the snow pack,” he said. “So they were being overly optimistic in terms of all those contracts.”

With the help of consultant Patrick Porgans and a San Francisco attorney, Del Chiaro and the 26 other Sherman Island landowners sued DWR for damages. In 1991, the state settled for $3.6 million, and the farmers were paid for not drawing water out of the delta. Soon after, DWR bought up the island. Once the water agency took control, it eliminated the need for DWR to satisfy contractual obligations to provide freshwater to the Sherman Island farmers. The farmers had cleared out, and the agency’s problem was solved.

“Compared to the San Joaquin Valley, the vast amount of acreage out there, the people that they employ, and the business compared to the delta, we’re kind of a drop in the bucket,” Del Chiaro noted. “Still, there are the businesses in the delta that basically survive off of our farming operation.”

Sherman Island is more well-known to recreational boaters and travelers, and Chris and Dawn Gulick provide a place for delta vacationers at Eddo’s Harbor & RV Park, located on Gallagher Slough on the east side of the island. Eddo’s wasn’t always a harbor and RV park — when Chris Gulick’s father started the business in 1967, fishing was the primary attraction and the small harbor maintained a fleet of fishing boats for rent. The State Water Project came online around the same time, marking the beginning of freshwater pumping out of the delta.

As delta water quality worsened over the years, there were fewer fish to be caught, so over the decades it became less practical to maintain the fishing vessels. Today, the fishing boats have been sold, and Eddo’s primarily gets its business from recreational boaters looking for guest slips or travelers who find their way to the quiet waterfront park to stay in their RVs.

Chris Gulick emphasized the larger picture during an interview about water issues in the delta, but he acknowledged that his business had been affected by what he saw as the state’s misguided water policies. “When we got here, the striped bass fishery was robust,” he said, “and it slowly has declined, and it steadily has declined.”

Gulick said countless experts and researchers had been in and out of the delta over the years, but he felt that the core problem had to do with governance of the system and the fact that water agencies had over-promised the water.

“The problem with the delta, or the water situation, is that the people that are in policy and are writing these guidelines don’t have a vested interest,” he said. “A lot of them don’t know a whole lot about this, but they’re the experts. They’re the ones who are supposed to be writing the plans. They don’t have a clue — and that is a prevalent attitude to the experts who come out and talk to us.”

Our Weekly Picks: November 10-16, 2010

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WEDNESDAY 10

EVENT

“Goldies After Party”

You dog-eared the pages of last week’s Guardian, reading about the Guardian Outstanding Local Discovery award winners. Tonight, head to 111 Minna to congratulate the artists in person — and to rock out at the free, open-to-the-public after party. Taking the stage: Oakland “slop-pop” rockers Bare Wires, SF popsters Brilliant Colors, dark post-punker Soft Moon (a.k.a. Luis Vasquez), pop sensation Myles Cooper (of “Gonna Find Boyfriends Today” fame) with club sensation Alexis Penney, and DJs Naoki Onodera and Primo Pitino. Don’t miss what’s sure to be a mother lode (yep, shameless gold joke) of a party! (Cheryl Eddy)

9 p.m., free

111 Minna Gallery

111 Minna, SF

www.sfbg.com/2010/11/03/goldies-2010

 

THEATER

Or,

Aphra Behn was a woman ahead of her time. A 17th century spy and the first professional female playwright, Aphra Behn is the topic of Liz Duffy Adams’ new play Or, at Magic Theatre. Full of sensationalism, sex, art, politics, and laughs, this comedy hosts a variety of eccentric characters including double agent William Scot, actress Nell Gwynne, and even King Charles II himself. Adams received the fifth Lillian Hellman Award for Playwrighting for Or, at the 2010 Lilly Awards; the play promises a dose of English history and a chance to chuckle the night away. (Emmaly Wiederholt)

Through Dec. 5

Wed.–Sat., 8 p.m. (also Sat, 2:30 p.m.);

Sun, 2:30 p.m.; Tues, 7 p.m., $45–$60

Magic Theatre

Fort Mason Center, Building D, Third Floor, SF

(415) 441-8822

www.magictheatre.org

 

THURSDAY 11

DANCE

Ampey!

In 2008, Adia Tamar Whitaker took a trip to Africa, where she encountered ampey, a Ghanian children’s dance for which you need to be on your toes in more ways than one. It became the inspiration for Ampey!, in which she explores complexities surrounding identity, family, and home. For Whitaker, that “return” trip had been become a voyage of discovery — though not in the way she anticipated. Presented as a work in progress last year, one could sense Ampey!’s artistic potential; it already included a powerful percussive “sitting dance.” Perhaps the best aspect of the two-year Performing Diaspora Project is its offer to artists like Whitaker to keep working on what needs to be done. (Rita Felciano)

Through Nov. 21

Thurs/11–Sun/14 and Nov. 18–20, 8 p.m.;

Nov. 21, 3 p.m., $19–$24

Counterpulse

1310 Mission, SF

1-800-838-3006

www.counterpulse.org

 

MUSIC

Ghostface Killah

No one has your back like Iron Man. Pretty Toney was the original link that brought the whole Wu-Tang together. Always willing to lend a devastatingly together verse to just about anybody’s single (MSTRKRFT, Prefuse 73, DANGERDOOM, etc), Starky still has found time to release classic after classic album. On his latest, Ghostdini: Wizard of Poetry in Emerald City, the Wallabee Kingpin went the extra mile, dispensing priceless relationship advice via a series of YouTube videos. Isn’t it about time you gave Ghostface Killah a little something back in return? (Ryan Prendiville)

With Sheek Louch and Music by Frank Dukes

9 p.m. $22

Slim’s

333 11th St., SF

(415) 255-0333

www.slims-sf.com

 

MUSIC

Masaki Batoh

Incorporating elements of Krautrock, folk, free jazz, and all manner of indigenous instrumentation, enigmatic Japanese psych collective Ghost are the heirs to such earlier cosmic emissaries as fellow countrymen the Taj Mahal Travelers. Founder and core player Masaki Batoh takes a similarly eclectic approach in his non-Ghost releases, whether turning out a chugging acoustic cover of Can’s “Yoo Doo Right” or mournful dirges, as on his recent collaborative albums with Espers’ Helena Espvall. Tonight’s rare solo set, with Batoh alternating between guitar and banjo and a table full of electronics, should prove no different. (Matt Sussman)

With Young Elders

10 p.m., $10

Vortex Room

1082 Howard, SF

www.myspace.com/thevortexroom

Also Fri/12

With Sic Alps

10 p.m., $5

Ghost Town Gallery

2519 San Pablo, Oakl.

www.myspace.com/ghosttowngallery

 

DANCE

Sankai Juku

Butoh is perhaps one of the most enigmatic dance forms. Emerging in the late 1950s in opposition to the Westernization of Japan, butoh often explores the more grotesque side of human nature. Unlike other dance forms with a syllabus of movements, butoh may be completely conceptual, hyper-slow, playful, scary, or none of the above. It defies definition. Audiences can begin to wrap their minds around butoh as Sankai Juku, the legendary Japanese butoh company, tours to San Francisco to present Hibiki: Resonance from Far Away, a piece said to plumb poetic beauty. Meditative and hypnotic in its simplicity, this award-winning work is a signature of butoh. (Wiederholt)

Thurs/11–Sat/13, 8 p.m.;

Sun/14, 2 p.m., $35–$60

Yerba Buena Center for the Arts

Novellus Theater

700 Howard, SF

(415) 978-2787

www.ybca.org

 

FRIDAY 12

MUSIC

Lindstrøm

Known to much prefer holing up in the studio in his home base of Oslo, Norway, than performing live, this is a rare opportunity to catch a set from one of the more interesting electronic music producers around. Lindstrøm first made a name for himself as a remix artist, reworking tracks from the likes of LCD Soundsystem, Roxy Music, Franz Ferdinand, and the Boredoms. His solo albums are full of frosty disco beats, heavy synthesizers, classic funk influences and enough of an adventurous streak to appeal to more than just the dance floor crowd. (Landon Moblad)

With Marbeya and Publicist

9 p.m., $15

Mezzanine

444 Jessie, SF

(415) 625-8880

www.mezzaninesf.com

 

DANCE

“Manifestival: Like Oil and Water: From Gaza to the Gulf”

Lots of Bay Area artists know that the world is a village, all politics are local, and that it’s probably not a good idea to ignore an problem until it burns your face. Socially committed dance is a large part of what we see on our stages. Artists are the antennas of the race and following them is fun as well as instructive. This year’s Manifestival theme of “Like Oil and Water: From Gaza to the Gulf” should provide more than enough inspiration for the two different programs. Onstage the first weekend are Jessica Damon, Jose Navarrete, Michael Velez, Nicole Klaymoon, Sri Susilowati, Naked Empire Buffoon, Stella Adelman, and Youth Speaks. (Felciano)

Through Nov. 20

Fri.–Sat., 8 p.m., $22

Dance Mission Theater

3316 24th St. SF

(415) 273-4633

www.brownpapertickets.com

 

VISUAL ART

“A Journeyman’s Papers”

Rare is the gallery show at which the owner of said gallery steps out from the wings and shows his or her own work. Risks! No one wants to be seen as the next megalomaniac Thomas Kincaid, drunkenly careening into the heavily curtained schlock-nests of Midwestern housewives, right? No fear of that kind of showboating here. Rob Delamater, co-owner of dapper cognoscenti-magnet Lost Art Salon, creates voluptuously genteel, generous-spirited pieces that fit right in with his gallery’s excellent collection of rare vintage modern works. Block-printed portraits of the wanton Bloomsbury group, evocative and crepuscular figure studies, and, perhaps most intriguing, softly primitive compositions evoking the California coastline painted on vintage book covers are the gorgeous, midcentury-type whistle stops on Delamater’s artistic journey. Doff your fedora, shed your silk shift, and have a lovely look. (Marke B.)

Through Jan. 31, 2011

5:30–8:30 p.m., free

Lost Art Salon

245 S. Van Ness, Suite 203, SF

(415) 861-1530

www.lostartsalon.com

 

SATURDAY 13

MUSIC

Dãm-Funk

George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic are going to be at Yoshi’s next week. That’s cool. But instead of waiting to enjoy what’s sure to be a great reminiscing on where funk’s been, why not check where it’s going? Dãm-Funk (pronounced “Dame Funk”) lays down a DJ set at Som Bar. A DIY DJ, producer, and recording artist, Dãm-Funk uses the same playbook as Ariel Pink, digging deep into genres and musical styles that were left by the wayside to create distinct sounds. While I can’t guarantee that he’ll break out the Animal Collective (so many records to choose from), word is that he’ll bust out the keytar. (Prendiville)

With King Most, Jacob Pena, and Freddy Anzures

9 p.m., $10

Som.

2925 16th St., SF

www.som-bar.com

 

EVENT

“Frogs in the Fog”

Wow, I just found the frikkin’ treasure trove! Not even my ecology-expert friends knew that the San Francisco Naturalist Society has the most kickass events calendar (www.sfns.org/events) — one that’s updated daily, to (hiking) boot. Probably the coolest-sounding upcoming event is led by “Mr. Science,” a.k.a. Chris Giorni, founder of Tree Frog Treks, and starts with checking out his extensive stash of amphibians and reptiles. After bonding with uncharacteristic mini-fauna, grab a slice of pizza to sustain your explorer spirit onward toward the hidden ponds, sacred groves, and endless discoveries of western Golden Gate Park. While the Treks’ mission is to make science fun for the kiddos, this adventure is open to all. (Kat Renz)

4 p.m.–6:15 p.m., $15–$50 (sliding scale)

Tree Frog Treks’ Frog Hall

2114 Hayes, SF

(415) 564-4107

www.baynature.org

 

SUNDAY 14

MUSIC

Nile

Specializing in impossibly fast blast beats and meticulously researched Egyptological lyrics, Nile has carved out a niche as one of the scene’s most revered death metal acts. The South Carolina quartet hews closely to the genre’s traditions, playing intricate, epic compositions that lean heavily on tremolo picking and sheer speed. Replicating such extreme chops live is no mean feat, but previous appearances by the band have been flawless and incendiary, particularly when they launch into epic closer “Unas Slayer of the Gods.” Whether you’re there for the tales of bloodthirsty pharaohs or just excited to bask in the copious beats-per-minute, Nile will take no prisoners. (Ben Richardson)

With Ex Deo, Psycroptic, Keep of Kalessin

7:30 p.m., $30

Slim’s

333 11th St., SF

(415) 255-0333

www.slims-sf.com

 

MONDAY 15

MUSIC

Thermals

For punk-tinged indie rockers Thermals, consistency is the name of the game. Never straying too far from its bare-bones, guitar, bass, and drums format, the Portland, Ore.-based band has now released five albums of punchy Buzzcocks-esque rock ‘n’ roll. Its newest, Personal Life, was produced by Death Cab for Cutie’s Chris Walla and includes a nice mix of slower, more drawn-out tracks and infectious, pound-on-your-steering-wheel bursts of adrenaline, such as lead single “I Don’t Believe You.” (Moblad)

With Night Marchers and White Fang

8 p.m., $16

Independent

628 Divisadero, SF

(415) 771-1421

www.theindependentsf.com 


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Slough Feg’s Mike Scalzi talks metal, philosophy

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(For a review of Slough Feg’s latest, The Animal Spirits, go here. Read on for an interview with the band’s guitarist-singer, Mike Scalzi.)

San Francisco Bay Guardian: I noticed a clear theological theme running through the album. Was that – the Reformation – an area of historical interest to you? I’m interested in that choice, of a less exciting historical topic than maybe a more violent event…

Mike Scalzi: It’s not as metal, certainly. But in another way, Martin Luther was very metal, in that he was dedicated. Though he was Christian, in his dedication and his rebellion, he was metal. I was reading about all that stuff in an anthology of Western cultures. It was very general – I had to teach it. I’m a teacher. I started teaching Philosophy of Religion a year ago for the first time, and I’m not really that into teaching it, because its not my area of expertise, but I kinda had to.

[Writing music] helps me, actually. If I can write a song about it, it becomes more ingrained in my everyday thought. It becomes more second nature to say “oh, the 95 Theses!” It’s not just as a teaching aid, though. When it comes to Renaissance Christian theologians, he’s the most metal one. He’s out in the world. He’s out doing stuff, being a revolutionary. And a lot of his views are funny, a lot of the things he said were really funny and really extreme.

SFBG: Less metal for being ultimately successful, though. A lot of those so-called heretics were metal in the sense that they died for their principles, or were burnt at the stake or what have you.

MS: But he was the most badass one! Obviously, I don’t agree with him – he was a fundamentalist and all that, and he brought on fundamentalism in a way, I guess. But at least he said that trying to believe that the Bible is literal fact by reason alone is preposterous. That’s why he thought you had to exercise faith – because it’s preposterous. Everything in the Old Testament is preposterous, but you have to believe in it, purely to test your faith.

After seven records, you have to think of new things. I don’t want to repeat myself.

SFBG: What was the rubric for the lyrics that were included in the liner notes?

MS: Oh, those are the lyrics to “Trick the Vicar”

SFBG: Oh, so it’s just the one song?

MS: That was my decision. I’m sick of like…I’ve done that on every record and…

SFBG: People parse your lyrics?

MS: Oh, I don’t care about that. They come up with all sorts of weird interpretations, as if I really care that much. “Oh this means this and that means that. This is the deep meaning in this.” There’s no deep meaning in this shit! At least not that I know about! But at this point, trying to find things to say is a challenge.

With “Trick the Vicar,” I thought the lyrics to that would be important because it’s all one big pun. There’s obviously no deeper meaning, other than just being entertaining. It’s like something from a Benny Hill skit or something. So on the inside of the CD, I had all the puns – I came up with all those puns in the same month. They’re really silly, obviously.

SFBG: Well I did mean to confirm whether or not “boister” was a word.

MS: Good, good! No, its not. But when I say “There’s a boister that goes on in the cloister”…

SFBG: …from context it’s pretty clear.

MS: Yeah. It’s just a bunch of silliness, but it works for the song. I like silliness, and that’s one of the things that’s missing from a lot of metal: a good sense of humor. Metal used to have a sense of humor, in the 70s and 80s.

SFBG: That’s something that I was meaning to ask you about, if there’s a way to account for that sudden lack of humor. You have this form of music that has this potential to be taken seriously, but also the potential to be looked at with a sense of humor, or with an understanding of its many tongue-in-cheek aspects. It seems like a lot of its biggest fans, a lot of the people with the kind of familiarity with it that would enable them to see the humor, are the people least able to see it.

MS: Well, there are a lot of stupid people. You go to a metal show and you run into a lot of morons. Around here, you don’t have as many.

SFBG: I think it’s sort of like a dumbbell shaped-graph. On the one end, it attracts a lot of stupid people, but on the other end, it attracts a lot of people who are discerning and smart.

MS: I think, basically, they’re going to laugh at you one way or another. Being a metal guy, especially when you’re old, or older, or from the last generation of metal, they’re going to laugh at you. You make the choice of whether they’re going to laugh at you or with you. And I choose to laugh with them!

Also, metal, or indeed all rock and roll, is inherently funny. It is! People used to know that!

SFBG: Or inherently fun. That’s what a lot of people seem to lose sight of.

MS: Metal is inherently funny. No matter what! It’s funny. That’s one of the best things about it! It’s ridiculous, and it’s great because it’s ridiculous. People realized that way back. Black Sabbath, maybe not Led Zeppelin — they never had much of a sense of humor – Deep Purple, Judas Priest. The New Wave of British Heavy Metal. Early glam metal – Twisted Sister, Quiet Riot – they all had a sense of humor. Van Halen! Give me a break…that band was all humor until Sammy Hagar came, and it lost its sense of humor, and it started to suck.

The way that these things incorporated humor resembled vaudeville. That was David Lee Roth’s whole thing. Humor is part of entertainment. The most serious, heavy band, Black Sabbath, was also the most funny, because they realized – they were a British band with a British sense of humor.

SFBG: It’s interesting that you mention that. Do you think the trans-Atlantic shift had anything to do with that loss of humor?

MS: No, because Van Halen is the funniest. Maybe they’re not metal. Manowar! I don’t know if you want to open that can of worms. There’s a lot of evidence that they started out as a joke. They started out tongue-in-cheek and got serious as they went along. They know they’re funny; they may not want to acknowledge it, but they are.

SFBG: And the humor is bound up in the fact that everyone knows there is a joke, but no one will actually admit it. You can listen to it and pretend that you’re taking it seriously.

MS: It’s true of hardcore too. It used to be funny, now its all [imitates hardcore singing]. It’s lost its humor – some of it hasn’t, but most of it has. That’s one of my problems with a lot of the metal in this country, or in Germany too – people take it too seriously.

It’s the same thing with entertainment. I’m accused of being too traditionalist and narrow, but I’m bored by anything else. The way that entertainment used to be, in my opinion, was better. Period. It just used to be better. And now, it lacks.

I guess the question you’re asking is “why?” I don’t know why. I think it’s something about the world and the way people see entertainment. It has a much wider scope than it used to. People are much more involved in it as fans, and take it seriously as a statement, which is great, but maybe some of the actual enjoyment of it – from the performance standpoint and the artists’ standpoint – has been diminished by the fact that people hold it too close to their heart. The fragility of their egos and their identity are wrapped up in it in a way that causes problems.

SFBG: Like many discussions about the evolution and history of metal, I blame Nirvana. They taught people, or people took away from them this idea that if a band was trying to entertain you, that was somehow false.

MS: Well, that happened way before Nirvana, but that’s when it hit mainstream.

SFBG: There’s that line in Smells Like Teen Spirit: “Here we are now/Entertain us.”

MS: I don’t know if I have much to say about that. At the time, I didn’t like it. I heard their first album, before they were really popular, and I didn’t like it then. I was playing shows in San Francisco at the time, and I knew that I was not down with what was happening as a result of them. “Don’t try.” “Don’t give a shit.” “Nevermind.” “Be a loser.” I mean, sure, I thought that when I was a teenager. That’s the 14-year-old mentality: “everything sucks, so fuck it, man.” By the time you’re in your twenties you’ve grown out of that, you try to do something, unless you end up like Kurt Cobain, and you just fade off into negative, negative, everything sucks, and then die. [Sarcastically.] That’s great! That’s my hero! [Chuckles ruefully.] What the fuck is that?

SFBG: So, part and parcel of the conversation we’ve been having is the fact that you’re a very opinionated guy…

MS: So you’ve read my blog posts. There’s a new one today! I was just reading the comments.

SFBG: I did read them. I can only imagine what kind of comments you’re going to get on the most recent one. I was wondering if there’s something you can identify about metal that helps it attract opinionated people. Or, to reverse the chicken and the egg, if there’s something about being into metal that makes people opinionated?

MS: Well, I don’t think people get into metal for some other reason, and then get opinionated once they’re into metal. Unless you want to get into the fact that most metal is so bad now that you can get into it and say “oh god I’m so opinionated because there’s so much garbage out there. That’s true of a lot of kinds of music though.

It attracts opinionated people because it is extreme music. It attracts people who are into a certain kind of mentality. It happens from such an early age! I can’t analyze it. I got into metal, like a lot of people, when I was pretty young, and that was a long time ago! I don’t remember exactly. I don’t have immediate access to that feeling first being attracted to it. To me, its something that happened so far back that its like…

SFBG: …it’s like asking “why do you like mac ‘n’ cheese?”

MS: Exactly. And I have more access to what’s happened since then. But I don’t feel like I’m actively opinionated. People take things in, and they call them like they hear them. To me, things assault my sense, not the other way around. Nobody remembers being born into the world of music or food or anything and going “Hmm, I’m going to investigate this thing!” It’s more you hear something and you’re passed into this impression that you have. And some things, you get an impression and you go “Argh, that sucks! That really bothers me!” So my opinions, like those of most people who are opinionated, come from being stimulated by something in a positive or negative way. I would say I call it like I hear it.

I never thought of myself as opinionated until I moved here. People said that if I moved to San Francisco there would be all this great music. They said, “People out there are very enlightened.” And then I got here – 20 years ago – and I thought, “Everybody here’s not really that enlightened. There’s a lot of stupid bullshit going on out here.”

SFBG: Switching tacks completely, I’m curious about your master’s degree in philosophy. I read a little bit in another interview about what you teach, but I’m curious about what you focused on in your studies.

MS: I ended up studying Descartes for my thesis. I was interested in Descartes as a graduate student because his method was very simple and intuitive, and the whole point of it was a do-it-yourself type thing, rather than getting involved in this long academic tradition. Obviously, like anyone else, he comes from an academic tradition, but his point in Meditations [on First Philosophy] was to say “let’s erase everything that happened beforehand in philosophy and science and start on your own, with what you can know by yourself.”

I just found Descartes pretty easy to understand. I was able to maneuver in that ontology. I started taking seminars on Descartes, and I subsequently got interested in German idealism, like Kant and Schopenhauer, and like every metalhead, I was interested in Nietzsche.

In a master’s degree, you end up focusing on major guys because they have these comprehensive exams that test your knowledge of Plato, Descartes, Hume, etc. I stuck to a lot of that, because I knew I would have to take an exam on it.

SFBG: That Kantian or Cartesian originalist thinking – wiping the slate clean, starting with the Categorical Imperative, or something like that…

MS: …well, Kant is much more in the tradition, he’s not trying to wipe the slate clean. He’s just trying to be revolutionary.

SFBG: I’ll admit I’m only tenuously familiar with Kant, but I remember his ethics being founded on a sort “first principle” that ignores cultural baggage and so forth.

MS: Well, that’s what people say, but his point is to come up with something that is not dependent on circumstance in any way at all. Something that’s not empirical, that’s totally dependent on reason. Just like Descartes’ “I think, therefore I am,” in a way.

It’s something that you try to universalize by saying “what if everybody did this?” [Motions toward cookie on the table.] What if I were to steal this cookie? What if everybody did that? If it produces a contradiction – if its unreasonable for everybody to do something – you have to decide if it would be possible. Not if it would be right or wrong.

In order to establish a standard of right and wrong, you have to decide if it’s reasonable – could everyone do it. Suppose I don’t keep a promise – I say I’m going to show up here at 11, and I don’t. If I don’t do that, and I don’t keep my promise, what happens? It undermines the principle of the promise in the first place. If I don’t keep a promise, whatever, no big deal. What if nobody keeps promises. Could everybody do what I did? If no one keeps promises, there wouldn’t be promises in the first place.

SFBG: There’d be no point.

MS: You couldn’t make promises, because there’d be no such thing.

SFBG: Like if everyone stole, there would be no point in having property.

MS: If there were no property, you couldn’t steal. If there were no taking anybody’s word for anything, you couldn’t make a promise. It undermines its own possibility. It’s a contradiction that makes the act itself impossible. If its irrational to that extent, to the point where it makes the act itself a contradiction, then, according to Kant, its not morally permissible. That’s a little bit of a long answer.

SFBG: I’m going to attempt a sort of interviewer Triple Lutz here. Is Descartes’ idea of discarding what has come before, or Kant’s idea of ignoring circumstance to come up with principle…

MS: …Rational principle…

SFBG: …purely rational principle. Can that be applied to your creative process? In the sense that…

MS: No. [Laughs.] I wish I could say that it could. That’d be a brilliant piece of journalism. But as much as I’d love to be able to say that there’s some heavy metal calculus that I use in order to write by sheer principles of reason…no. At least, not for me. It’d be cool if there was some guy, some alchemist songwriter guy who was trying to find the principle of guitar or whatever.

SFBG: You could sort of take a stab at the categorical imperative of metal though, being like Maiden, Priest, and Sabbath, and not being affected by sort of the whims of circumstance.

MS: That’s the problem I’m encountering though. I don’t want to say that everything’s all based on the past. I don’t want to be a heavy metal anachronism. That’s what I’m getting in a lot of these responses to my Invisible Oranges articles. Again, to be philosophical about it, I get this confusion of cause and consequence. A lot of people say to me: “you don’t like death metal because you haven’t explored it.”

I try to keep the analysis somewhat objective, about why I don’t like the cookie monster vocals, the guitar sounds that are very brittle, and the drums that are triggered – clickety, clackety, clickety doesn’t sound “brutal.” It sounds like some bullshit to me.

People say, “You haven’t explored it enough. You haven’t heard the good stuff. You haven’t gone to the lengths that it takes to appreciate it.”

SFBG: If it’s good, it shouldn’t take any “lengths.”

MS: It’s confusing the cause with the consequence. It’s not that I don’t like extreme metal because I haven’t listened to enough of it. I haven’t listened to enough of it because I don’t like it. People think that I’ve come up with some sort of rigid heavy metal calculus and say “I like Priest, I like Maiden, I like Sabbath, Saint Vitus, whatever, some underground stuff too. These are the criteria of what I will listen to.”

It’s not like that! I grew up with the evolution of the whole thing, listening to it happen, and I heard things, and I said “I don’t like that! That’s crap! That sounds like someone who doesn’t care about what they’re doing.” It just sounds like shit to me, for whatever reason. And I heard more and more of it, and I chose not to investigate it.

SFBG: Getting back to philosophy just briefly, I saw in another interview that you described your music as having a Machiavellian aspect. I understand a Nietzschian aspect, but how does Machiavelli come into it?

MS: I was probably joking! I’m not sure. I was just being macho, talking about taking over the world. It’s a very vague characterization of Machiavelli, who I don’t really know shit about anyway.

SFBG: I was struck by the William Blake references in one of your old songs, “Tiger! Tiger!” Blake has always struck me as very metal.

MS: The reason that I put that stuff in there is not because of William Blake. It’s because of Alfred Bester, who quoted him.

SFBG: I noticed that you mentioned that author a lot in other interviews.

MS: A lot of sci-fi fans haven’t read him! This is insane to me. When people read The Stars My Destination – the original title of which was Tiger! Tiger! – they say “that’s the greatest fiction book I’ve ever read.” I was not a sci-fi or fantasy reader until I was 26, and someone got me that book. It was completely a fluke. I got it and I was like, “Ehh, I don’t really like science fiction books,” and then I finished it and said, “This is the best book I’ve ever read in my life.” Only on the basis of that did I get into science fiction.

SFBG: It’s tempting to ask you questions about Slough Feg’s distinctive sound, but seeing where my fellow interviewers have gone before, I was wary. It seems like we journalists want to get you to say “Oh, I choose to write songs with major chords because of this reason which is easy to print,” and your response is to say, “Look, this just my creative process; it’s how it sounds good to me.”

MS: Well, something that sounds good to me vocally sounds good because it’s catchy. If I remember it. I don’t always tape everything that I do. So, why do I remember it? That’s a whole question. Maybe I remember it because it sounds a little bit unique, maybe for some other reason.

SFBG: I think the music stands out to people, whether on record or live, because it makes melodic choices that almost seem like a deliberate subversion of the conventions of metal, like all those major chords. But I’m assuming that wasn’t a choice to subvert. That there wasn’t a point at which you were like, “Heavy metal is in minor keys – I’m going to do it a different way.”

MS: Well maybe there was! Again, it wasn’t a conscious choice. I don’t write Slough Feg songs according to music theory. I don’t say, “Now we’re going to do a song like this; now we’re going to do a song with these chords, or with this type of vocals.” If you do that, it ends up sounding overly stiff and deliberate.

But having said that, that’s not to say that there isn’t some kind of overall approach. When I do write stuff, what do I edit out? What do I keep? Stuff that reaches a certain criteria after the fact. Not when I come up with riffs, or vocals – that just happens. But what do I choose to keep? I don’t think about it consciously – it’s second nature to me now, so its hard to say – but basically, at one point, I wanted to write things that imitated Maiden, Sabbath, Thin Lizzy, Alice Cooper, Saint Vitus, Black Flag, and all that.

It became second nature to say “I want to pick up where Maiden left off,” but not to use major chords. The first “Irish-sounding” song I ever did was called “The Red Branch,” and I was sitting around in my living room, in a place I lived in years and years ago, I was sitting in my living room with an acoustic guitar, just joking around, singing to somebody as a joke, and I thought, “That’s a cool chord change!”

I keep a lot of things that other people would throw away, that they’d be scared to put on a record because it’s too silly-sounding. I say to myself “this is actually something that someone else wouldn’t do, and have the nerve to take seriously.” I think a lot of people are embarrassed to play Slough Feg-type songs. They were 20 years ago, at least. And now we’ve developed the sound to the point that it’s sort of obnoxious. People are like “what the hell man! This guy is willing to do this?!”

That’s what happened in San Francisco in the mid-nineties, playing this music. People would be like “God, you’re willing to get up onstage and play that? That sounds like nursery-rhyme music with metal instruments. It’s major. You’re singing like you’re in a 50s musical!”

Those are the kind of influences that I incorporate, maybe because it was something people weren’t willing to do, and so it sounded fresh to people.

SFBG: That sort of discomfort you describe is interesting, because you have this whole other offshoot of metal that’s built on discomfort. Black metal is based around saying “which chords can I play that will make people uncomfortable, that are the most dissonant.” You’ve come up with an incredibly unique way to do the same thing. You challenge people’s expectations, you make them uncomfortable, you take them out of their comfort zone, but instead of being really really heavy, or really fast, or really dissonant, or really down-tuned, you just have your own personal approach: to write chord changes that are, you know, silly.

MS: Or just really, really, traditional. Not that I intended that. But this is good, I think we hit the nail on the head in sense. When I started developing the sound, in the early nineties, a lot of it was a reaction. I didn’t write these looney tunes in 1989. I wrote them when I got here, and I started playing some shows, and I noticed that all the bands were drab, and all the bands played sort of one-dimensional speed metal. And I was totally nonplussed by it.

What I was writing was a reaction. I was saying “what can be done at this point?” Punk rock and speed metal and grindcore are just an extension of the same dirge – being obnoxious by being a dirge.

SFBG: And it’s an arms race, right? You can only go so fast. And then the next band that comes along has to go faster than that.

MS: And also it’s the attitude that’s so passe after a while. Spitting blood and whatever. I wanted touch on what people inevitably heard – kid’s music, or what your parents were playing – and pose the question: “are you willing to admit that this is enjoyable to you?” Slough Feg songs that do sound like they’re from a 50’s musical. Are you able to admit that this is catchy to you? That’s the punk rock maneuver, that I was able to think of it in those terms. And that’s what set us apart. But in a totally different way, in a way that goes back to like, “This is inherently enjoyable. Are you willing to partake in it, or are you too cool for it?”

SFBG: And it’s diametrically opposed to black metal. Black metal is “I will alienate you by doing something that is not enjoyable.” Your approach is “I will alienate you by doing something that is too enjoyable.”

MS: After the fact, that’s how we can analyze it. I think that’s a proper way to look at it. My songs do assault the listener, and people say “I can’t get it out of my head!” Because it’s written in very simple way – they’re really not that hard to write, but it’s a kind of songwriting that people aren’t willing to do.

Someone said to me in the 80’s, when I liked Venom a lot – they’re a very silly, vaudevillian form of Satanic metal – “Why do you like this? Anybody can do that. Anybody can play Venom songs.” And I said “yeah, that’s true. But nobody is willing to. That’s what makes it special.”

www.sloughfeg.com

GOLDIES 2010 LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT: Rick and Megan Prelinger

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“Juxtaposition,” “serendipity,” “appropriation,” and “collaboration” are all words that come up frequently when you talk to Rick and Megan Prelinger about the Prelinger Library.

Tucked above a SoMa carpet store, the space (“a free offering, an installation, a workshop, and an extension of our living room,” according to the handout given to visitors) is stuffed floor-to-ceiling with books, maps, magazines, and other ephemera. It is a place where artists, students, teachers, architects, T-shirt makers — basically anyone with a curious, creative mind — can seek information and inspiration. Visitors are encouraged to photograph, copy, and scan materials for future use in their own projects.

“This is a completely unconventional library,” Rick says. “It’s much more a place where serendipity rules.”

A certain magic comes courtesy of the library’s unconventional shelving system, designed by Megan to maximize what she calls “browsing-based discoveries.” It’s based on a continuum of ideas and interests, not Dewey Decimals. In a section dedicated to the American South, for example, a dusty government tome about Georgia’s river system might nestle next to a paperback copy of Deliverance.

“[Library visitors] tend to start going where they think they’re headed,” Megan said. “Then they find something they’d never seen before, and they just go in a different direction. They come out going, “Wow! I thought I was looking for this, but I found this.'<0x2009>”

Opened to the public in June 2004, the Prelinger is tailored to its current location. Though the fit is snug, Prelingers have no plans to upsize. “The collection is composed in such a way that there’s a relationship between the aisles,” Rick explains.

But the collection is anything but static. In addition to what they call the “user-based chaos” that arises when visitors remove and replace books on the shelves, the Prelingers are constantly adding to, and editing, their highly selective inventory. Subjects range from transportation and land-use to media studies and political history (they joke that the stacks harbor “98 percent bad ideas”). “[The library is] specific to what we’re interested in,” Rick says. “But we’re interested in a lot of things.”

The Prelinger also boasts an online component composed of thousands of digital books that may be downloaded for free. Though this represents only a fraction of the physical collection, it’s a useful tool for those who can’t visit the library in person. As it is, the place has limited hours, and both Prelingers support it with other endeavors.

Megan is also a historian, a wild-bird rehabilitator, and an author; her 2010 release, Another Science Fiction: Advertising the Space Race 1957-62 (Blast Books), is a gorgeous, hefty volume that culls and contextualizes imagery from magazines like Missiles and Rockets, bound editions of which can be admired in the library. Rick is widely known for the Prelinger Archives, a groundbreaking moving image archive he founded in 1983. It eventually grew to include more than 60,000 works — all originally made by amateurs or earmarked for industrial, educational, and advertising use. Much of it was acquired by the Library of Congress in 2002 and 2003 (some 2,500 titles are also available online). The archive inspired Rick’s 2004 collage film, Panorama Ephemera, as well as his popular “Lost Landscapes” presentations, which meld lively discussions about history with found footage.

Along those lines, the Prelingers have a new-old passion: home movies. “Megan and I now run a really fast-growing and exciting home movie collection,” Rick says. “Home movies — that’s the only cinema that matters for me. Each one is unique. We think we understand home movies, but they’re shallow and deep at the same time.”

Rick’s latest film (“slowly in the works”) will be based on this burgeoning collection. “One of the things that we say we’re trying to do — it’s a little grandiose, but it’s actually true — is putting together a complete ethnographic portrait of 20th century North America through home movies,” Rick says. Looking at what they’ve accomplished so far, it’s not hard to conclude that if anyone can pull off such a feat, it’ll be the Prelingers.

www.archive.org/details/prelinger; www.prelingerlibrary.org

>>MORE GOLDIES 2010

On the cheap listings

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Events listings are compiled by Caitlin Donohue. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com.

WEDNESDAY 20

hell strung and crooked Release Party The Beat Museum, 540 Broadway, SF; www.thebeatmuseum.com. 6pm, free. The Beat Museum helps to present a night of intensely creative bards from the world over in anticipation of the release of their new poetry tome.

Smack Dab Open Mic Magnet, 4122 18th St., SF; wwwmagnetsf.org. 8pm, free. All ages and genders are welcome to this open mic, which sets a medley of musicians and poets onstage to the tune of five minutes a piece. No open mic traumas here, people.

THURSDAY 21

Art Attack One Year Anniversary supperclub, 657 Harrison, SF; www.visualsby3.com. 9:30 pm, $8. The flopsy, floozy art performance group celebrates its first 365 days on this earth with a burlesque-off featuring Alotta Boutté, Scotty the Blue Bunny, and more local A-listers from the world of tassels and tease.

"Graphic Details: Confessional Comics by Jewish Women" Cartoon Art Museum, 655 Mission, SF; (415) CAR-TOON, www.cartoonart.org. 7pm, $5. Beyond the kvetch and kibitz, female Jewish cartoonists have proven themselves adept at a stark, honest rendering of life in the 21st century. Hear them discuss their art at this panel discussion.

Jo Scott-Coe Books Inc., 2275 Market, SF; (415) 864-6777, www.booksinc.net. 7:30 pm, free. An ex-public school teacher exposes the subtle and overt forms of violence in the education system in her latest book, which she’ll discuss at this bookstore klatch.

BAY AREA

Homeless Connect Health Fair Multi Service Center, 2362 Bancroft, Berk; (510) 809-8516, www.sites.google.com/site/bfhphealth. Noon, free. Vision screenings, STD tests, flu shots, therapist and addiction referrals, haircuts, and more at this gathering of service providers for the homeless.

FRIDAY 22

UN-65 Muir Woods Walking Tour Cathedral UN Grove, Muir Woods, Sausalito; (415) 267-1866; www.una-sf.org. 11am, free. Advance registration requested. Mark 65 years of the United Nations’ brand of global collaboration with this trek through the redwoods, a cup of tea, and some Qi Gong — a path braved by UN founders in 1945.

Fog City Necropolis 354 5th St., SF; (415) 606-2503. 7pm, 10pm. Take a tour through SF’s interactive haunted house, whose theme this year is a truly scary trope: eviction! Evade the undead grasp of Jack Kerouac, Frida Kahlo, the crazy cat man of the Presidio, and more so that you can live to pay rent again.

BAY AREA

"Analysis of the Tea Party Movement" UC Berkeley Alumni House, Bancroft and Telegraph, Berk; www.ccsrwm.berkeley.edu/conferences. 8:30am-5:30am, free. Political scientists and sociologists take a look at America’s most grating political movement: are the Tea Partiers part of a grass roots campaign, a media-driven construction, or something in between?

SATURDAY 23

Actors Theatre Season Kick-Off Actors Theatre, 855 Bush, SF; (415) 345-1287; www.actorstheatresf.org. 7 pm, $10. A cabaret to celebrate the new stage season, featuring the psychedelic tropes of comedian Wil Franken, and the world premiere of William Blake Sings the Blues, penned by the theater’s own company member.

Bernal Yoga Literacy Series Bernal Yoga, 461 Cortland, SF; (4125) 643-9007, www.bernalyoga.com. 8pm, $5 suggested donation. Tsering Wangmo Dhopma and Stephen O’Connor, writers both, will fill the chakras of this neighborhood ayurvedic space with readings from their recent publications.

Bring Your Own Queer Festival Music Concourse, Golden Gate Park, SF; www.byoq.org. Noon-6pm, free. Pack a gay in your rucksack for this community collaboration of art, performance, and music, featuring DJ collectives Honey Soundsystem and Hard French, the Bay Area Derby Girls, and a rescue dog fashion show.

Drag Racing Day Velma’s, 2246 Jerrold, SF; (415) 824-4606. Noon, by donation. A Bayview family needs help raising funds for their drag racing team. They make their own motors and transmissions! Grab a bite at this neighborhood restaurant while you watch racing footage and dad Mike Henery’s presentation to interested young people.

Potrero Hill History Night International Studies Academy, 655 De Haro, SF; (415) 863-0784. 5:30 pm barbeque, $6; 7 pm historical program, free. A movie on Potrero Hill public housing, urban gardening in the neighborhood, and hood tales from 50-year residents like "Goat Hill Phil."

Seismic Safety Fair San Francisco General Hospital, 1001 Potrero, SF; www.sfdph.org/dph/rebuildsfgh. 9am, free. Feeling a little shaky? SF General’s setting aside a day to explain the base-isolated design of its new earthquake retrofitting. It’s meant to be the most seismically-resistant plan available today, so go on and get grounded.

BAY AREA

Cal Science and Engineering Festival Haas Pavilion, Bancroft, Berk; (510) 642-0352, www.scienceatcal.berkeley.edu/festival. 10am, free. Kids been clamoring to touch a real human brain? Bring ’em to this hands-on extravaganza of natural science — for free.

Fantastic Fountain Thistle Recovery Work Party Highway 92-W and I-280-N, San Mateo. 9am, free with RSVP. Remove invasive pampas grass and Australian tea tree so that our small bristly friend the fountain thistle can continue to live long and prosper in the Bay Area.

SUNDAY 24

Sunday Streets: Civic Center and Tenderloin Civic Center Plaza, SF; www.sundaystreetssf.com. 10 am- 3pm, free. The last Sunday Streets car-free community event takes the action to the heart of downtown, with clear biking and walking from a roller disco outside the Asian Art Museum to the Tenderloin National Forest.

Tricycle Music Fest West Various libraries and times, SF; www.sfpl.org/tricycle. Free. Three wheel from library to library or plunk the kiddies in front of a show of their choosing for this day of kids’ music, that effervescent establisher of early literary skills.

It’s not easy being an arrogant know-it-all

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arts@sfbg.com

WRITERS ISSUE Having to constantly suffer the company of the ignorant, it’s difficult to suppress my condescension. After all, I know about obscure music and books that few others know of and this makes me superior.

For that matter, I must also tolerate the naive with regard to politics and current events. It is a constant struggle to maintain a civil façade, to avoid an outburst. After all, the polite response to the uninformed is not to point out their glaring faults but to gently correct their errors in a subtle, guiding way. Maintaining patience is not easy.

I was talking the other day to an acquaintance (it’s hard for people to actually be friends with one as superior as me) and I was shocked to find he’d never heard of Sainkho Namtchylak. Come on, what rock do you have to be living under to not know of the Tuvan throat-singing virtuoso — a singer who makes Diamanda Galas sound like Whitney Houston — who collaborates with free-jazzers like saxophonist Evan Parker? I tried not to be too disdainful as I informed him of her numerous releases on the British record label, Leo. It’s just so difficult not to get sarcastic when faced with that sort of colossal ignorance and cultural complacency.

Do these people just take whatever is offered them on MTV, instead of digging deeper? I have to laugh at the people who think they’re hip just because they listen to something they consider obscure, like Borbetomagus. Come on, they’ve been around forever. Even some grunge-listening moron who hasn’t picked up a magazine since Forced Exposure turned into a mail-order company knows that.

How did I become as I am: namely, one of the most hip people on the planet, endowed with a broad cultural knowledge? Obscurantists are made, not born. To tell the wounding truth, my strength came from weakness. In high school, I was a geek, woefully ignorant of popular culture and rock music in particular. My reading was predominantly in the genre of science fiction. I listened to the folk and classical music my parents preferred and, for exoticism’s sake, enjoyed the synthesizer stylings of Wendy Carlos and Tomita. Children have no taste. We’re shaped (or should I say twisted?) by our environment.

Once I discovered punk rock, I shot up like a late bloomer whose delayed pubescence doesn’t preclude his growth to a height greater than six feet. I devoured the Trouser Press Record Guide, listened to lots of music from the collections of friends. I started reading obscure magazines that reviewed music none of my friends listened to and I was an early adopter of the Internet: I had email in college in 1984 and my Usenet newsgroup posts archived on Google Groups date back that far, before the 1987 Great Renaming, which reorganized online discussion forums. I was an invited member of a secret e-mail music list called “Music-flamers” in 1986.

Let’s face it, it’s too easy to put someone down for being a fan of Korn or Britney Spears (what’s the difference, really?). I prefer to insult people for being so obvious as to be fans of virtually mainstream 1970s British psyche-folk group Caravan instead of Everyone Involved or fill-in-the-blank with your favorite ultra-obscure, private pressing, un-reissued psyche-folk LP of the early ’70s.

Why should music be something that we have in common, something that might bring us together, when it can be a soapbox to stand on to put us above other people? Why settle for the pleasure of turning on someone to good music when you can use it to put them down? If you can tell me, I’ll let you listen to my copy of Jim French and Galas’ If Looks Could Kill or Orchid Spangiafora’s Flee Past’s Ape Elf

Excerpted from The International Homosexual Conspiracy (Manic D Press, 224 pages, $14.95).

 

On the cheap listings

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On the Cheap listings are compiled by Paula Connelly. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com.

WEDNESDAY 13

“How to Cook Like a Scientist” Bazaar Café, 5927 California, SF; (415) 831-5620. 7pm, free. Meet Jeff Potter, author of Cooking for Geeks, who combines cooking with Mythbusters to create a food-as-science, cooking experience for those who like to know how things work.

THURSDAY 14

Sparring with Beatnik Ghosts Beat Museum, 540 Broadway, SF; (415) 399-9626. 7pm, free. This ongoing multimedia poetry series returns to the Beat Museum with host Daniel Yaryan and featuring readings by David Meltzer, San Francisco Poet & Beat Icon, Ellyn Maybe & Her Band, Steve Arntson, Jerry Ferraz, Martin Hickle, Richard Loranger, Whitman McGowan, Ginger Murray, Julie Rogers, Margery Snyder, and Chris Vannoy.

FRIDAY 15

Mark I. Chester Benefit Mark I. Chester Studio, 1229 Folsom, SF; (415) 621-6294. 7pm; free, donations encouraged. Celebrate Mark I. Chester’s 60th birthday while helping to raise funds for a new book. View Chester’s current exhibit, “Doing Time on Folsom St: a 30 year retrospective of fine art gay radical sex photography” and enjoy readings and performances by Carol Queen, Tom Orr, Seth Eisen and Jesse Hewitt and more. Sponsored by the Center for Sex and Culture.

“Writing Our Word, Speaking Our Minds, Telling Out Stories” San Francisco Main Library, Latino/Hispanic Community Meeting Room, 100 Larkin, SF; (415) 557-4400. 6pm, free. Featuring readings by and about lesbians with disabilities with Elana Dykewomon, Barbara Ruth, Teya Schaffer, Dominika Bednarska, and the Mothertongue Feminist Theater Collective.

SATURDAY 16

“The Classics” 1:AM Gallery, 1000 Howard, SF; (415) 861-5089. 5:30pm, free. Attend the closing reception for this exhibit, curated by Nate1, that brings together original vintage work from the artists that put San Francisco on the graffiti map and defined Bay Area graffiti style. Guest speaker Spie will give an informative tour of the exhibit on Bay Area graffiti.

Halloween Bazaar Modern Eden Gallery, 403 Francisco, SF; (415) 420-2898. 7pm, free. End your day of touring open studios in North Beach, as part of SF Open Studios’ weekend two, at this spooky-themed trunk show featuring wares by local artists JuJu by Sarah, Marya Zoya Taxidermy Courture, Blackbird Bazaar, Squid Rose designs, and more plus pumpkin carving and painting, music, drinks, and treats. Costumes encouraged.

Potrero Hill Festival 20th street between Missouri and Wisconsin, SF; www.potrerofestival.com. 11am-4pm, free. Soak up the best of Potrero Hill at this street fair with a view featuring local merchants and residents selling their wares, arts, and crafts, two stages with live music, food from Potrero Hill restaurateurs, information booths, and kids activities including a bouncy house, petting zoo, pony rides, and performances.

Taste of Fillmore Fillmore between Post and Jackson, SF; www.tasteoffillmore.com. 1pm-6pm; free admission, $20 for wrist band. Buy a wrist band and enjoy food and wine tastings at boutiques and restaurants, or just walk around and check out some live jazz, walk through home décor scenes installed on the sidewalks, watch cooking demonstrations, fashion shows, and more.

Trolley Dances Meet at the Harvey Milk Center for Recreational Arts at Duboce Park, Scott at Duboce, SF; www.epiphanydance.org. 11am-2:45pm, tours leave every 45 min.; free with MUNI fare. Get out of the theater and into the streets with traveling performances by Epiphany Productions SDT, Joe Goode Performance Group, Sara Shelton Mann, and more as they take you from Duboce Park to the SF Botanical Garden in Golden Gate Park for several unique performance locations.

“The Wild Kitchen” Omnivore Books on Food, 3885a Cesar Chavez, SF; (415) 282-4712. 3pm, free. Hear authors Connie Green and Sara P. Scott discuss their book, The Wild Kitchen: Seasonal Foraged Foods and Recipes, and the increasing popularity of wild delicacies. Green sells her gathered goods across the country to Napa Valley’s finest chefs, so before you buy that expensive meal, consider the free buffet that is California.

Writers with Drinks Make Out Room, 3225 22nd St., SF; (415) 647-2888. 7:30pm, $5-$10 sliding scale. This installment of the monthly spoken word variety show features Marcia Clark, Ken Scholes, Jamie Freveletti, Stephen O’Connor, Kirya Traber and Daniel Allen Cox. Proceeds to benefit the Center for Sex and Culture.

Yerba Buena Fair Yerba Buena Gardens, Mission between 3rd and 4th St., SF; (415) 644-0728. 11am-3pm, free. Celebrate the Yerba Buena neighborhood at the fair featuring live music, dancing, acrobats, neighborhood food vendors, street food vendors, art and history walks, prizes and giveaways, kids activities, and more.

SUNDAY 17

Capsule Hayes Valley Park, Octavia at Hayes, SF; www.capsulesf.com. 11am-6pm, free. Enjoy this fashion design open air market and community party where you can browse locally made clothing, upcycled jewelry and accessories, steampunk-inspired wear, graphic tees, kids clothes, and designer housewares while listening to live music by members of the Jazz Mafia, Brent Bishop and the Part Poopers, and more.

Fiesta on the Hill Cortland between Bocana and Folsom, SF; (415) 206-2140. 10am-6pm, free. Join your friends and neighbors for the 22nd annual Fiesta to benefit the Bernal Heights Neighborhood center, an organization that works to maintain the ethnic, cultural, and economic diversity of Bernal Heights. This alcohol free family event to feature a petting zoo, pony rides, a pumpkin patch, non-profit booths, live music, food vendors and more.

 

Music listings

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Music listings are compiled by Paula Connelly and Cheryl Eddy. Since club life is unpredictable, it’s a good idea to call ahead to confirm bookings and hours. Prices are listed when provided to us. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com.

WEDNESDAY 13

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

*Dead Sea, Grayceon, DJ Crackwhore Elbo Room. 9pm, $7.

Femka Project, Sleeping Desires Knockout. 9:30pm, $6. With DJs Omar, Josh, and Justin.

Floater, Trophy Fire, Apopka Darkroom Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $10.

Macy Gray Bimbo’s 365 Club. 8pm, $25.

*Immolation, Vader, Abigail Williams, Lecherous Nocturne, Pathology DNA Lounge. 6:30pm, $22.

Jason King Band Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $15.

Jolly Good Fellows, Astral Force, Zej El Rio. 8pm, $5.

K-OS, Shad, Astronautilus Slim’s. 9pm, $16.

Jane Lui, Goh Nakamura, Melissa Polinar Café Du Nord. 9:30pm, $10.

Script Fillmore. 8pm, $25.

Shadow Shadow Shade, AM Magic, Upstairs Downstairs Red Devil Lounge. 8pm, $8.

Shuteye Union, Carcrashlander, Silian Rail Rickshaw Stop. 8pm, $10.

Skarhead, Alcatraz, Dro City Holocaust, Plead the Fifth, Adlib and Panic Thee Parkside. 8pm, $13-15.

Th Mrcy Hot Springs, Pure Country Gold, Mystery Lights Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $6.

Hawksley Workman, Sallie Ford and the Sound Outside, Paul M. Davis Hotel Utah. 8pm, $10.

DANCE CLUBS

Booty Call Q-Bar, 456 Castro, SF; www.bootycallwednesdays.com. 9pm. Juanita Moore hosts this dance party, featuring DJ Robot Hustle.

Hands Down! Bar on Church. 9pm, free. With DJs Claksaarb, Mykill, and guests spinning indie, electro, house, and bangers.

Jam Fresh Wednesdays Vessel, 85 Campton, SF; (415) 433-8585. 9:30pm, free. With DJs Slick D, Chris Clouse, Rich Era, Don Lynch, and more spinning top40, mashups, hip hop, and remixes.

Mary-Go-Round Lookout, 3600 16th St, SF; (415) 431-0306. 10pm, $5. A weekly drag show with hosts Cookie Dough, Pollo Del Mar, and Suppositori Spelling.

Open Mic Night 330 Ritch. 9pm, $7.

RedWine Social Dalva. 9pm-2am, free. DJ TophOne and guests spin outernational funk and get drunk.

Respect Wednesdays End Up. 10pm, $5. Rotating DJs Daddy Rolo, Young Fyah, Irie Dole, I-Vier, Sake One, Serg, and more spinning reggae, dancehall, roots, lovers rock, and mash ups.

Switch Triple Crown. 9pm, free. With DJ Cheb i Sabbah.

Synchronize Il Pirata, 2007 16th St, SF; (415) 626-2626. 10pm, free. Psychedelic dance music with DJs Helios, Gatto Matto, Psy Lotus, Intergalactoid, and guests.

THURSDAY 14

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Acorn, Leif Vollebekk, Angel Island Café Du Nord. 9pm, $12.

Atomic Love Bombs, Blisses B, Stove, Friends of the River Hotel Utah. 8pm, $8.

Dan Black, Butterfly Bones, DJ Morale Independent. 9pm, $15.

Chikita Violenta, Leopold and His Fiction, Echo Twin Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $12.

Crayon Fields, Magic Bullets, Mystery Claws Rickshaw Stop. 8pm, $12.

*Fishbone, Everything Must Go, Loyd Family Players DNA Lounge. 8pm, $14. SF DocFest opening night party.

Larry Garner Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $15.

Hoodoo Gurus, Wrong Words Great American Music Hall. 8pm, $26.

Jail Weddings, Lotus Moons, We Are Country Mice Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $7.

Erica Sunshine Lee, Camaron Ochs, Kelly McFarling Slim’s. 8pm, $13.

Mental 99 El Rio. 7pm, free.

*Silver Griffin, Manzanita, Orchestra of Antlers Red Devil Lounge. 8pm, $6.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Brian Andres and the Afro-Cuban Jazz Cartel Coda. 8:30pm, $10.

Kasey Knudsen, Liza Mezzacappa, Permanent Wave Ensamble Amnesia. 9pm, $5. Part of SFJazz Hotplate Series.

Manhattan Transfer Herbst Theatre, 401 Van Ness, SF; www.sfjazz.org. 7:30pm, $30-75.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Savannah Blue Atlas Café. 8pm, free.

“Songwriters Unplugged Showcase III” Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8pm, $14. With Bonnie Hayes, Heather Combs, Anita Lofton, Valerie Orth, and Ziva.

Tu Gusto Musical Coda. 8:30pm, $10. With Brian Andres and the Afro-Cuban Jazz Cartel, Avotcja and Modupue, Alejandro Chavez and Friends, Patricio Angulo and the Sonado Project, and more.

DANCE CLUBS

Afrolicious Elbo Room. 9:30pm, $10. DJs Pleasuremaker and Señor Oz spin Afrobeat, tropicália, electro, samba, and funk.

CakeMIX SF Wish, 1539 Folsom, SF; www.wishsf.com. 10pm, free. DJ Carey Kopp spinning funk, soul, and hip hop.

Caribbean Connection Little Baobab, 3388 19th St, SF; (415) 643-3558. 10pm, $3. DJ Stevie B and guests spin reggae, soca, zouk, reggaetón, and more.

Drop the Pressure Underground SF. 6-10pm, free. Electro, house, and datafunk highlight this weekly happy hour.

Good Foot Som., 2925 16th St, SF; (415) 558-8521. 10pm, free. With DJs spinning R&B, Hip hop, classics, and soul.

Jivin’ Dirty Disco Butter, 354 11th St., SF; (415) 863-5964. 8pm, free. With DJs spinning disco, funk, and classics.

Kissing Booth Make-Out Room. 9pm, free. DJs Jory, Commodore 69, and more spinning indie dance, disco, 80’s, and electro.

Koko Puffs Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 885-4788. 10pm, free. Dubby roots reggae and Jamaican funk from rotating DJs.

Libra Dance Party Deco Lounge, 510 Larkin, SF; (415) 346-2025. 8:30pm, free. With DJs L’Elephant, Tres Lingerie, Steve Fabus, Sergio, Ken Vulsion, André Lucero, and more spinning dance, housem funk, jazz, boogie, and more.

Mestiza Bollywood Café, 3376 19th St, SF; (415) 970-0362. 10pm, free. Showcasing progressive Latin and global beats with DJ Juan Data.

Motion Sickness Vertigo, 1160 Polk, SF; (415) 674-1278. 10pm, free. Genre-bending dance party with DJs Sneaky P, Public Frenemy, and D_Ro Cyclist.

Paul Oakenfold, Chuckie, Kenneth Thomas Fillmore. 8pm, $35. Spinning electronic.

Peaches Skylark, 10pm, free. With an all female DJ line up featuring Deeandroid, Lady Fingaz, That Girl, and Umami spinning hip hop.

Popscene 330 Rich. 10pm, $10. Rotating DJs spinning indie, Britpop, electro, new wave, and post-punk.

Queer Porn TV El Rio. 8pm, $5. A super sexy variety show with Venus in Furs, DJs PRDCT, and Primo, Boylesque by James Darling, a kinky kissing booth, a porno-preview peepshow, and more.

FRIDAY 15

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Birds and Batteries, Geographer, Holy Rolling Empire Bottom of the Hill. 10pm, $12.

Blood Red Shoes, Sky Larkin, My First Earthquake Rickshaw Stop. 8:30pm, $12.

Matt Costa, Threes and Nines Slim’s. 9pm, $16.

“Delta Wire’s 40th Year Celebration” Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $20.

Jason Derulo, Auburn Regency Ballroom. 8pm, $28.

*Die Antwoord Ameoba, 1855 Haight, SF; www.amoeba.com. 6pm, free.

Girls, Holy Shit, She’s Fillmore. 9pm, $22.50.

Hollyhocks, Billy and Dolly Make-Out Room. 7:30pm, $7.

Indian Jewelry, Clipd Beaks, Late Young Hemlock Tavern. 9:30pm, $10.

Rubblebucket, Kiss and Tell Boom Boom Room. 9:30pm, $10.

Scream, Dusted Angel, Dead Meat Thee Parkside. 9pm, $10-12.

7 Orange ABC, King Baldwin, Maiden Lane, Ladies on a Train Hotel Utah. 8:30pm, $8.

*Kelley Stoltz, Fresh and Onlys, Carletta Sue Kay Café Du Nord. 9:30pm, $12.

Soundearth, Bpos, Agentstriknine, Mantis One El Rio. 9pm, $10.

Tainted Love Bimbo’s 365 Club. 9pm, $23.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Garaj Mahal Swedish American Hall (upstairs from Café Du Nord). 8pm, $35.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Meredith Axelrod and Craig Ventresco Amnesia. 7pm, free.

Gaelic Storm Great American Music Hall. 9pm, $20.

Latin Kings All-Stars Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $25.

Native Elements Coda. 10pm, $10.

DANCE CLUBS

Club Dragon Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, SF; www.eightsf.com. 9pm, $8. A gay Asian paradise. Featuring two dance floors playing dance and hip hop, smoking patio, and 2 for 1 drinks before 10pm.

Dirty Rotten Dance Party Madrone Art Bar. 9pm, $5. With DJs Morale, Kap10 Harris, and Shane King spinning electro, bootybass, crunk, swampy breaks, hyphy, rap, and party classics.

Exhale, Fridays Project One Gallery, 251 Rhode Island, SF; (415) 465-2129. 5pm, $5. Happy hour with art, fine food, and music with Vin Sol, King Most, DJ Centipede, and Shane King.

Fat Stack Fridays Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 885-4788. 10pm, free. With rotating DJs B-Cause, Vinnie Esparza, Mr. Robinson, Toph One, and Slopoke.

Fubar Fridays Butter, 354 11th St., SF; (415) 863-5964. 6pm, $5. With DJs spinning retro mashup remixes.

Good Life Fridays Apartment 24, 440 Broadway, SF; (415) 989-3434. 10pm, $10. With DJ Brian spinning hip hop, mashups, and top 40.

Hella Tight Amnesia. 10pm, $3.

Hot Chocolate Milk. 9pm, $5. With DJs Big Fat Frog, Chardmo, DuseRock, and more spinning old and new school funk.

Hubba Hubba Revue: Mad Science DNA Lounge. 9pm, $10-15. Burlesque gone mad with the Fuxedos.

Jah Yzer’s Nickel Bag of Funk Birthday Celebration Elbo Room. 10pm, $5. Hip-hop and reggae with DJs Ant-One, Sean G, and Jah Yzer.

Mercury Soul 111 Minna Gallery. 5pm, free. A happy hour filled with DJ sets and string quartets.

Oldies Night Knockout. 9pm, $2-4. Doo-wop and one-hit wonders with DJs Primo, Daniel, and Lost Cat.

Radioactivity 222 Hyde, SF; (415) 440-0222. 6pm. Synth sounds of the cold war era.

Rockabilly Fridays Jay N Bee Club, 2736 20th St, SF; (415) 824-4190. 9pm, free. With DJs Rockin’ Raul, Oakie Oran, Sergio Iglesias, and Tanoa “Samoa Boy” spinning 50s and 60s Doo Wop, Rockabilly, Bop, Jive, and more.

Some Thing The Stud. 10pm, $7. VivvyAnne Forevermore, Glamamore, and DJ Down-E give you fierce drag shows and afterhours dancing.

*Z-Trip Mighty. 9pm, $25.

SATURDAY 16

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Big Lion, Mental 99, Clair, True Margrit, Battlin’ Bluebirds Bottom of the Hill. 9:30pm, $10.

Burmese, Kowloon Walled City, Nero Order Hemlock Tavern. 9:30pm, $7.

Meklit Hadero Swedish American Hall (upstairs from Café Du Nord). 8pm, $25.

Jackie Payne Band Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $20.

McTuff Coda. 10pm, $10.

Morning Benders, Twin Sister, Cults Fillmore. 9pm, $20.

No Alternative, Everything Must Go, Hightower El Rio. 10pm, $7.

Rogue Wave, Mumlers Independent. 9pm, $15.

Rubblebucket, Katdelic Boom Boom Room. 9:30pm, $10.

Sic Alps, Howlin Rain, Wooden Shjips, Greg Ashley, Assemble Head in Sunburst Sound Thee Parkside. 1:30pm, $15. With Carlton Melton, White Manna, Young Prisms, and more.

Scott Alan Simmons, JJ Schultz Band, Glittersnatch Hotel Utah. 9pm, $10.

Street Dogs, Devil’s Brigade, Flatfoot 56, Continental Slim’s. 8pm, $16.

Tainted Love Bimbo’s 365 Club. 9pm, $23.

Wiz Khalifa, Yelawolf 8pm, $22.50.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

“Ladies of Jazz” Noe Valley Ministry, 1021 Sanchez, SF; www.noevalleymusicseries.com. 8:15pm, $25. With Cathi Walkup, Jennifer Lee, Leanne Weatherly, and Melissa Dinwiddie.

Stella Royale Café Royale, 800 Post, SF; (415) 641-6033. 8pm, free.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Robert Gastalum, Esben and the Witch Amnesia. 7pm, free.

Craig Ventresco and Meredith Axelrod Atlas Café. 4pm, free.

DANCE CLUBS

Bar on Church 9pm. Rotating DJs Foxxee, Joseph Lee, Zhaldee, Mark Andrus, and Nuxx.

Bootie: Hubba Hubba Revue Pirate Show DNA Lounge. 9pm, $6-12. Mash-ups, burlesque, and more.

Booty Bassment Knockout. 10pm, $5. Hip-hop with DJs Ryan Poulsen and Dimitri Dickenson.

Cock Fight Underground SF. 9pm, $7. Gay locker room antics galore with electro-spinning DJ Earworm, MyKill, and Dcnstrct.

Fire Corner Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 885-4788. 9:30pm, free. Rare and outrageous ska, rocksteady, and reggae vinyl with Revival Sound System and guests.

Fringe Madrone Art Bar. 9pm, $5. With DJs Blondie K and subOctave spinning indie music videos.

Full House Gravity, 3505 Scott, SF; (415) 776-1928. 9pm, $10. With DJs Roost Uno and Pony P spinning dirty hip hop.

HYP Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, SF; www.eightsf.com. 10pm, free. Gay and lesbian hip hop party, featuring DJs spinning the newest in the top 40s hip hop and hyphy.

Ok Hole Amnesia. 9pm, $5. With DJs Nay Nay, Muscledrum, and C.L.A.W.S. spinning dance music.

Prince vs. Michael Madrone Art Bar. 8pm, $5. With DJs Dave Paul and Jeff Harris battling it out on the turntables with album cuts, remixes, rare tracks, and classics.

Rock City Butter, 354 11th St., SF; (415) 863-5964. 6pm, $5 after 10pm. With DJs spinning party rock.

Saturday Night Soul Party Elbo Room. 10pm-2am, $10. DJs Lucky, Paul Paul, and Phengren Oswald spin butt-shakin’ ’60s soul on 45.

Spirit Fingers Sessions 330 Ritch. 9pm, free. With DJ Morse Code and live guest performances.

SUNDAY 17

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Arrington De Dionysos Malaikat dan Singa, Edmund Welles, Lickets Hotel Utah. 9pm, $7.

*Batusis, Re-Volts Thee Parkside. 8pm, $12-15.

Craig Chaquico Yoshi’s San Francisco. 7 and 9pm, $25.

Lloyd Gregory Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $15.

Hot Chip, Sleigh Bells Warfield. 9pm, $38.

Johnny Hi-Fi, Lion Riding Horses, Festizio Café Du Nord. 8pm, $10.

Living Colour, Against the Girl Independent. 8pm, $25.

Amy Obenski Rock-It Room. 7pm, free.

Say Anything, Motion City Soundtrack, Saves the Day, Valencia Regency Ballroom. 8pm, $27.

Toys That Kill, Fleshies, Rank/Xerox Hemlock Tavern. 8pm, $7.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Laurie Antonioli, Matt Clar, and John Shifflett Bliss Bar, 4026 24th St, SF; (415) 826-6200. 4:30pm, $10.

Clarinet Thing Koret Auditorium, de Young Museum, Golden Gate Park, 50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Dr, SF; www.theintersection.org. 2pm, free.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Candela El Rio. 4pm, $8.

Gayle Lynn and Her Hired Hands Thee Parkside. 4pm, free.

DANCE CLUBS

Call In Sick Skylark. 9pm, free. DJs Animal and I Will spin danceable hip-hop.

DiscoFunk Mashups Cat Club. 10pm, free. House and 70’s music.

Dub Mission Elbo Room. 9pm, $6. Dub, dubstep, roots, and dancehall with Vinnie Esparza and J Boogie.

Gloss Sundays Trigger, 2344 Market, SF; (415) 551-CLUB. 7pm. With DJ Hawthorne spinning house, funk, soul, retro, and disco.

Honey Soundsystem Paradise Lounge. 8pm-2am. “Dance floor for dancers – sound system for lovers.” Got that?

Jock! Lookout, 3600 16th St, SF; (415) 431-0306. 3pm, $2. This high-energy party raises money for LGBT sports teams.

Kick It Bar on Church. 9pm. Hip-hop with DJ Zax.

Lowbrow Sunday Delirium. 1pm, free. DJ Roost Uno and guests spinning club hip hop, indie, and top 40s.

Pachanga Coda. 7pm, $10. Salsa dance party with DJs Fab Fred and DJ Antonio, with Louie Romero y Mazacote.

Religion Bar on Church. 3pm. With DJ Nikita.

Stag AsiaSF. 6pm, $5. Gay bachelor parties are the target demo of this weekly erotic tea dance.

Swing Out Sundays Rock-It Room. 7pm, free (dance lessons $15). DJ BeBop Burnie spins 20s through 50s swing, jive, and more.

MONDAY 18

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

David Bazan, Wye Oak Independent. 8pm, $15.

Califone, Greg Ashley Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $12.

Tia Carroll Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $15.

Envy, La Dispute, Touche Amore, And So I Watch You From Afar Café Du Nord. 8pm, $14.

Flyleaf, Story of the Year Regency Ballroom. 7:30pm, $25.

Jugtown Pirates, Rob and Cindy, Chris Jeffries and the Plastic Fantastic Lovestains Elbo Room. 9pm, $5.

*Lydia and the Projects, Dina Maccabee Band, Matthew Edwards and the Unfortunates Knockout. 9pm, $7.

Elissa P., Dot Punto, Moonlight Orchestra El Rio. 7pm, $5.

DANCE CLUBS

Black Gold Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 885-4788. 10pm-2am, free. Senator Soul spins Detroit soul, Motown, New Orleans R&B, and more — all on 45!

Death Guild DNA Lounge. 9:30pm, $3-5. Gothic, industrial, and synthpop with DJs Decay, Joe Radio, and Melting Girl.

Household Triple Crown. 9pm, free. With DJs Mr. White, Kimmy Le Funk, Gabriel Testadorra, and Daren Grant spinning house, disco, techno, hip hop, funk, and soul.

Krazy Mondays Beauty Bar. 10pm, free. With DJs Ant-1, $ir-Tipp, Ruby Red I, Lo, and Gelo spinning hip hop.

M.O.M. Madrone Art Bar. 6pm, free. With DJ Gordo Cabeza and guests playing all Motown every Monday.

Manic Mondays Bar on Church. 9pm. Drink 80-cent cosmos with Djs Mark Andrus and Dangerous Dan.

Musik for Your Teeth Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St., SF; (415) 642-0474. 5pm, free. Soul cookin’ happy hour tunes with DJ Antonino Musco.

Network Mondays Azul Lounge, One Tillman Pl, SF; www.inhousetalent.com. 9pm, $5. Hip-hop, R&B, and spoken word open mic, plus featured performers.

Punk Rock Sideshow Hemlock Tavern. 10pm, free. With DJ Tragic and Duchess of Hazard.

Skylarking Skylark. 10pm, free. With resident DJs I & I Vibration, Beatnok, and Mr. Lucky and weekly guest DJs.

TUESDAY 19

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Cory Chisel, Sahara Smith Café Du Nord. 8pm, $12.

Dahga Bloom, Moccreto, Superstitions Five Points Arthouse, 72 Tehama, SF; www.fivepointsarthouse.com. 9pm.

Electric Shepherd, Outlets, Swaybone Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $8.

Film School, LoveLikeFire, Fake Your Own Death Independent. 8pm, $15.

Half Handed Cloud, Roar, Carol Cleveland Sings Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $6.

Minus the Bear, Tim Kasher, AM Regency Ballroom. 7:30pm, $24.

Nick Moss and the Flip Tops Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $20.

Ash Reiter, Petracovich, Jamie Drake, Carly Escoto Hotel Utah. 9pm, $6.

Sentinel Beast, Hatchet, Vindicator, Possessor Thee Parkside. 8pm, $8.

Villagers, Dave Smallen, Attachments, Yourstru.ly Rickshaw Stop. 8pm, $12.

DANCE CLUBS

Alcoholocaust Presents Argus Lounge. 9pm, free. With DJ What’s His Fuck.

Brazilian Wax Elbo Room. 9pm, $7. With Forro Brazuca and DJs Carioca and P-Shot.

Eclectic Company Skylark, 9pm, free. DJs Tones and Jaybee spin old school hip hop, bass, dub, glitch, and electro.

Rock Out Karaoke! Amnesia. 7:30pm. With Glenny Kravitz.

Share the Love Trigger, 2344 Market, SF; (415) 551-CLUB. 5pm, free. With DJ Pam Hubbuck spinning house.

Womanizer Bar on Church. 9pm. With DJ Nuxx.

 

I hope Greg Mankiw stops working

6

The eminent and distinguished N. Gregory Mankiw, a professor of economics at Harvard and former White House aide (under GW Bush) presented one of the most convoluted and misleading antitax arguments in the history of the dismal science Oct. 10. His New York Times piece argues that the effective tax rate on his marginal income is 90 percent, and because of that, if the Bush tax cuts on the rich expire, he isn’t likely to write any more articles.


That’s yet another wonderful reason to raise his taxes. The less of this crap the world has to deal with the better.


Kevin Drum has a nice takedown in Mojo, but the biggest problem with Mankiw isn’t that he compounds his tax liability over 30 years to make things look worse. It’s that he starts his article with the assumption that he should pay zero taxes — and so should corporations — and there should be no estate tax (which it’s highly unlikely Mankiw will have to pay anyway).


Yes: The difference between paying zero taxes and paying 39.5 percent is significant. The money the profressor would earn 30 years from now on a $1,000 investment if there were no corporate taxes would indeed be higher. But there would also be no streets for him to drive on, no police and fire departments to protect his house, no unemployment benefits to keep the people who aren’t as fortunate as him from breaking down his door to get food for their kids, no social security, no medical care for indigent sick people, no federal funding for the scientific research he and his colleagues do at Harvard … in other words, not much of a country. I don’t think even Mankiw wants to live there.


So what’s the difference in his life if his taxes go up — as proposed — from 35 percent to 39.6 percent? Well, on the $1,000 article, he’d pay an extra $46 in taxes. Big fucking whoop. He probably spends more than that on lunch at the Harvard Club. Even if he invested that $46 for 30 years — AND there were no corporate taxes, AND he got 8 percent a year in the stock market (which remained stable despite the massive social upheaval caused by a society with inadequate tax revenue to provide basic public services), we’re talking $462.88. That’s less than he’d get by putting $4 a year — yes, four dollars a year — into the same account.


In other words, he’d have to be pretty fucking stupid to decide not to write a $1,000 article entirely on the basis of a modest increase in taxes on someone with his level of income.


On the other hand, he clearly is pretty fucking stupid. Or else he’s smart and he’s intentionally skewing the facts to protect his own economic interest. Either way, the world will be a better place if he doesn’t write any more articles.  So let’s raise his taxes.

Past presence

0

arts@sfbg.com

LIT/MUSIC/VISUAL ART A present from the past — the paradox within that phrase is as close as one might get to pithily describing hauntology. The term was coined in 1993 by the French philosopher Jacques Derrida to describe utopian specters within capitalist society. But more recently, the music writer Simon Reynolds has specifically applied hauntology — literally, ghost logic — to music, using the term to describe the playfully eerie studio-as-séance-site releases on the British label Ghost Box, and similar recordings.

Since his early days as a journalist for Melody Maker, Reynolds has cannily related French theory to musical phenoms in practical and illustrative ways, whether applying the feminism of Hélène Cixous to Throwing Muses, ideas about jouissance to the sonic innovations of My Bloody Valentine, or Deleuze and Guattari to the jones for acceleration in rave culture. With the release of Reynolds’ most recent book, Totally Wired: Postpunk Interviews and Overviews (Soft Skull Press, 464 pages, $16.95), I thought the time was right to turn the tables and interview him about hauntology and the related library music genre — especially since the current Berkeley Art Museum exhibition “Hauntology” cites him while putting forth a hauntological theory of visual art.

SFBG What do you think about the current interest in library music as culture grows ever more digitized? To me it seems there’s an intrinsic push-pull between searches for rare objects in far reaches, and then their incorporation into digital or online spheres.

Simon Reynolds Certainly there are some music bloggers who specialize in library [music] and go about it in an extremely systematic manner — they aim to upload or share or post every single Bruton or Peer International Library or Chappell release. They work their way through the entire catalog, number by number. These are super-obscure records, and there doesn’t seem to be any kind of discography for a lot of the labels — I guess they weren’t precious about their own output. That must be both attractive and maddening (attractively maddening?) for a certain kind of obsessive-compulsive collector.

People are building a body of knowledge about library music, in the same way that reggae collectors did with the similarly chaotic and massive output of record labels in the ’70s. But it still has the aspect of an unmapped zone, a zone of discovery, which you can’t say about many other areas of music.

SFBG What aspects of library music appeal to you, and what aspects don’t?

SR I like the electronic stuff done by people moonlighting from the BBC Radiophonic Workshop, or by oddball figures like Ron Geesin. Or Eric Peters and Frederick G, who did stuff — electronic weirdness, or effects-laden goofy production-type tracks — for Studio G among other library labels. The Studio G stuff on the Trunk compilation G-Spots is just so luxuriant sounding.

In library music, the weird combination of anything-goes experimentation and un-precious functionalism creates good results, especially when you factor in brevity. Most library tunes are really short. So you get the same alien buzz as from experimental music, but without being detained for 20 minutes to an hour.

I also like the whole mythos and vibe around library music, the idea of all these studios in Wardour Street and thereabouts in central London churning stuff out, with top session players or underemployed composers earning a bit of dough on the side. And of course the packaging, with its uniform artwork for different series and wonderfully distilled evocative track descriptions (“pathetic, grotesque”; “relaxed swing-along”).

The downside is that some library music is just anodyne. A large proportion is sub-music, just splinters of mood or feeling that aren’t developed because they’re meant to underscore or mood-tint brief moments in a movie or TV show. I’m also less interested in the breaks end of library music, the “groovy scene in swinging discotheque” redolent tunes favored by some beat headz.

SFBG How would you characterize or define the relationship between library music and hauntology?

SR What people would consider the classic era of library music — the ’60s and ’70s, when there were groups of musicians in the studio, as opposed to the ’80s and thereafter, when it increasingly became one composer using a digital synthesizer to play all the parts — has heavy associations with the popular culture of that period. Especially TV programs and radio, and particularly children’s TV. Library music was used when there wasn’t a budget to get a soundtrack made, so you got this off-the-peg stuff.

If you’re a child of the ’60s or ’70s, this music has a potent memory-stirring effect, but in a nonspecific way. You hear certain kinds of lite-jazz chords, or melancholic orchestrations, or certain analog synth sounds, and it sets off reverberations inside you, but you can’t place them. (A later generation will probably have the same relationship with digital-era music — we’re maybe getting that with the vogue for video game sounds in a lot of dance music now.)

When hauntologist artists use this material, they can trigger all these emotions. They can also mess with the “science of mood” in library music by making emotions clash and mingle in strange combinations.

The formality and institutional vibe of library releases has a similar appeal to the “benevolent state” stuff that the hauntologist artists are into (like polytechnics, new towns, the BBC when it believed in elevating and educating the common man, etc.). Even though the library labels were commercial ventures, the aura of them is oddly similar to government or educational institutions: kind of stuffy and prim. The artwork relates to the way Penguin and Pelican books looked. It has that “lost Britain” quality.

SFBG Have you heard responses from theorists about your application of Derrida’s concept of hauntology to music?

SR No. I really just stole the word off Jacques because I liked the feel of it. It’s Mark Fisher of k-punk who’s done the more serious mapping of hauntology as a theory onto the music. I think there are definitely some parallels and connections, but Derrida’s thing seems very much bound up with Marxism and philosophy.

SFBG What is particularly hauntological about the Ghost Box label’s recordings, and what are some notable hauntological recordings over time?

SR The “haunty” aspect to the Ghost Box stuff relates to the reverberations I just described. They use samples from the era’s library or incidental music and TV or Radiophonic Workshop scores. Or (in the case of more composed-and-played recordings by Belbury Poly or The Advisory Circle) they write new melodies and motifs that are evocative of that era or in the style of that music.

I think there’s an intrinsic musical appeal and value to this stuff that works on people who don’t have the nostalgic connection. For instance, I know some quite young Americans who really like Ghost Box’s stuff. But if you are of the demographic, it has this extra layer of meaning and effect. It can be bound to a generation, and also to nationality. (Interestingly, it appeals to Australians, who get a lot of the TV from the U.K., and thus have a similar pop cultural matrix of memory).

The Ghost Box artists have a “haunty” aspect in the sense that they’re interested — in a simultaneously playful and serious way — in all kinds of pop culture to do with the supernatural and horror, from the Algernon Blackwood/Arthur Machen tales of cosmic horror, to the Hammer House of Horror movies, to Doctor Who, to ghost stories. Again, there’s a nostalgic aspect in the sense that these things, first encountered as a child, have a profound effect. British children’s TV had some really creepy and macabre stuff on it. In retrospect, you wonder, “What were they thinking broadcasting this stuff to under-10-year-olds?”

Ghost Box has fun with the cultural associations of all this stuff. There is a really pleasing clash of the campy and the genuinely disquieting in the way they handle it. It’s not some goth/industrial scary thing, which I think is where people get confused — they put on the Ghost Box records and discover they’re quite pleasant and enjoyable.

I like the main three Ghost Box groups very much — The Focus Group, Belbury Poly, and The Advisory Circle. And Roj made a cool album, The Transactional Dharma of Roj. The label’s most fully realized, brilliant record is Advisory Circle’s Other Channels. But in terms of individual peaks, I’d say certain tracks on Focus Group’s Hey Let Loose Your Love and Belbury Poly’s The Willows are among the most remarkable music of the past decade. For me they find this place between idyllic and eerie that just presses all my buttons, especially when you add the overall framework — the design and the concepts have this dry, poker-faced humor to them.

A similar vibe is going on in the records by Moon Wiring Club and Mordant Music, who are the other two central hauntologists for me. The Caretaker, a.k.a. Leyland James Kirby, has also done some really great stuff, but it’s more amorphous and drone-y.

SFBG Inside and outside of a deployment of library music, does hauntology appeal to you more than “retrofuturism” as an idea and a practice?

SR They are similar, or they overlap. The Ghost Box guys and Mordant Music are into the whole nostalgia for the future trip. Part of the appeal of something like the BBC Radiophonic Workshop is the futurism of it, the alien impact it had on impressionable ears, now inevitably filtered through a scrim of bygone charm and quaintness.

SFBG What future forms might hauntology take?

SR It may well be that every generation will come up with some kind of working-through of its recent past, the stuff that affected it most intensely as children. If you look at Ariel Pink and all the people he’s influenced who’ve come through recently, it’s bound up with a different memory-set: ’80s pop, MTV, and radio.

HAUNTOLOGY

Through Dec. 5

(Oct 29, 6-9pm “Hauntology at L@te Event with Interdisciplinary Intro Panel and musical performances Indignant Senility, Barn Owl, and Jim Haynes)

Berkeley Art Museum

2626 Bancroft Way, Berk.

(510) 642-0808

www.bampfa.berkeley.edu


 

Brown or Whitman? No contest

3

Sidebar to The pummeling of SF Labor

Jerry Brown or Meg Whitman? Barbara Boxer or Carly Fiorina? For labor voters, the choice should be obvious.

All too often, we’re faced with choosing between the lesser of two political evils, but not this time. Democrat Jerry Brown has proven throughout his long political career to be one of the best friends labor has ever had, and shows no sign that he’d be anything else if returned to the governorship in November.

I particularly recall the great political skill Brown demonstrated in convincing the State Legislature to enact what is still the only law outside Hawaii guaranteeing farm workers the collective bargaining rights granted most non-agricultural workers in the 1930s.

It’s impossible to imagine Brown’s Republican challenger having the will or the skill to do something like that. Whitman’s position on labor is precisely the opposite of Brown. She has made union bashing, and especially the bashing of public employee unions, a major theme of her campaign.

On the national level, Democratic Senator Boxer has long been a solid labor supporter and surely merits re-election in November. Like Brown, she’s in a contest against a mediocre Republican candidate, but one with many, many bucks to spend on her campaign.

Some of the nine initiatives on the state ballot would be good for labor, some not so good.  Prop. 25 is easily the best of the bunch for labor and just about everybody else. It would require a simple majority vote of the Legislature to adopt the annual state budget rather than the current requirement of a two-thirds majority.  The great difficulty of lining up two-thirds support has often resulted in legislative stalemates that have forced some state operations to be cut back or even temporarily shut down for days, sometimes weeks. No money, as they say, no service.

Prop. 23 is bad news. The measure, backed by Big Oil and other major polluters,  would suspend the state air pollution laws that limit  omission of greenhouse gases known to cause global warming until statewide unemployment drops to 5.5 percent or lower for one year, which – surprise! –  is not about  to happen. Not for a long time, anyway.

Corporate greedheads could lose big, however, with passage of Prop. 24. It would repeal $1.7 billion in tax breaks granted big corporations during last year’s budget negotiations, or “backroom budget deals,” in the impolite but quite accurate words of the California Federation of Teachers (CFT).

The CFT, an AFL-CIO affiliate, and the rival California Teachers Association  (CTA), an affiliate of the National Education Association, are both campaigning for the excellent Democratic candidate for State Superintendent of Public Instruction, Assemblyman and former State Sen. Tom Torlakson of Antioch.

They stress Torlakson’s experience as a longtime high school science teacher and part-time community college teacher and his commitment to increasing badly needed funding for the state’s schools, as shown by the bills he authored that have provided more than $3 billion in school aid.

— Dick Meister

Hot sluts!

59

culture@sfbg.com

SEX ISSUE Forget those uptight pricks: sluts are awesome. There’s no shame in harboring a voracious appetite for sexiness in all its myriad expressions. Combined with a well-developed ethical stance and safe practices, it’s one of the joys of being human. In honor of the enormous, charitable Folsom Street leather and fetish fair (Sun/26, 11 a.m.–6 p.m., donations requested. www.folsomstreetfair.org), we wanted to honor some of our favorite local sluts with the pervy attention they want and deserve. 

>>CLICK HERE FOR PICS OF OUR FAVORITE HOT SLUTS!

SLUTTIEST CELLULOID

You’ve always wanted to watch your neighbors bang, right? Well moan enthusiastically in honor of the Good Vibrations Indie Erotic Film Festival, which every year puts the call out for the cream of the amateur blue filmmaker crop, then assembles the spunkiest for your viewing pleasure at the Castro Theatre. You too can be in the audience, which will ooh and aah its approval to choose the sexiest, steamiest home-screw, the lucky winner receiving a $1,500 money shot. So how does SF get it on? This year’s 12 finalists include preggo smut (Jeannie Roshar’s “Bun in the Oven”), good old-fashioned wordplay like Benjamin Williams’ “The Filth Element,” and sci-fi sexin’ (“Orgasm Raygun” by Martin Gooch). The fest precedes a range of specialty nights around town coordinated by Good Vibes, including Lebso Retro: A Dyke Porn Retrospective (Wed/22 at the Women’s Building). It’s gonna be a hot ticket, so grab a seat, relax your rear, and revel in the sight of sexy San Francisco.

Thurs/23 pre party: 7 p.m., $10; screening: 8 p.m., $10. Castro Theatre, 429 Castro, SF. (415) 621-6120, www.gv-ixff.org

 

SLUTTIEST QUEEN

“I’m so honored to be named Sluttiest Queen,” inimitable alternative drag goddess Suppositori Spelling tells us. “It’s nice to see that my work hasn’t gone unnoticed. I have so many performances that require nudity that when I drop my skirt lately it’s often met with a wave of yawns from my audience. I think they’re more shocked by the presence of panties nowadays.” (Her audience, found at her raucous weekly drag show Cocktailgate — Sundays, 9 p.m., $5. Truck, 1900 Folsom St., SF. www.trucksf.com — sheds a few panties themselves when she’s on stage.) “I could tell you stories so dirty hot that this paper would burn like a Koran in Florida” she continues, “but I’m so shy and reserved. I will say this, though: as far as the queer sex scene in San Francisco goes, we seem to be in the flush of a renaissance. I keep stumbling upon things that even make me blush — like the gentleman who preferred a visible handjob on public transportation during rush hour as foreplay. But I encourage whatever floats your boat or creams your Twinkie. I just want to clarify, however, that “ouch” is not a safe word!”

Suppositori emcees the Seventh Street stage at Folsom Street Fair from 11 a.m.–2 p.m., followed by a special performance at 2:30 p.m., and then a “hanky code” themed Cocktailgate at its regular time.

 

SLUTTIEST BOYS

Dan and JD, a.k.a. Two Knotty Boys, are no strangers to the twists and loops of BDSM performance. Native San Franciscans both, they not only create mesmerizing stage shows in which they bind nubile flesh to their will, but also produce end results so visionary that you’d be excused for leaving off the “fetish” and dubbing it merely “fashion.” A ever-so-tightly cinched halter top of gleaming white cord, a barely there cobweb bikini that requires an expert hand to remove, overlays of skirts and dresses that hobble the wearer seductively and at the same time, show off the contours of the female body. It’s neat, it’s adjustable, it’s sexily professional work. It’s easy to see why the duo has filmed more than 100 video tutorials and taught countless workshops in the Bay and beyond for their eager fans: the Boys have tied up hundreds of women but, unlike some humiliation artists, they have never tied down their subjects’ beauty and comfort.

www.twoknottyboys.com

 

SLUTTIEST PARTIERS

Was it written on the rock hard abs of some San Franciscan sex god that all coital gatherings in this city have to be stark and stoic? Thankfully, the colorful gang over at Kinky Salon never got that memo. Creators Polly and Scott have created a swinger’s playland party in the pink and purple rooms of Mission Control whose focus is flair: playful costume themes have focused on everything from kitty cats (the upcoming Pussyfest) to undersea adventure and fairy tale characters. You’ve never lived, it would seem, until your Snow White costume has been peeled off on the couch in the Harem Room by Tinkerbell and Captain Hook. More recently, the team has created a new magazine to celebrate the vast array of sexualities that their partygoers lay claim to: San Fran Sexy. The rag includes erotic history lessons from sexologist Dr. Carol Queen, memoir pieces from Bawdy Storytelling’s Dixie De La Tour, photos from recent Kinky Salon soirees, and news of sensual events to come.

www.kinkysalon.com

 

SLUTTIEST ROCKERS

“If the Meat Sluts were a Pink Lady, we’d be Rizzo! We ain’t no prudes like Sandy!” says BB Rumproast of rockin’ band the Meat Sluts (www.myspace.com/themeatsluts). In a world of vegan dogs, her XXX-chromosomed trash rock-punk explosion is an all-beef foot long. The four women are cookin’ on stage — literally. In addition to the occasional back up steak dancing alongside their guitar licks and growls, the Meat Sluts have shared space at shows with a live hot dog-maker and a meat grinder flinging sausage and baloney onto hungry fans. It’s messy, carnivorous fun — the perfect expression of the group’s embrace of hedonistic appetite that could care less about what’s considered “ladylike” at the table of the musical establishment. “We are loose and crazy and not ashamed of it! We love man meat! We love weenies! Beef baloney, Slim Jims, T-bones, bring it ON!” says Rumproast. To quote the Sluts’ rager rally cry “Johnny Con Carne,” that’s what we call makin’ bacon.

The Meat Sluts play Dodgyfest 3, Oct 2, 7 p.m., $10. Thee Parkside, 1600 17th St., SF. www.theeparkside.com

 

SLUTTIEST BLOGGER

Fleur De Lis SF has a bone to pick with the way hot and horny females are portrayed. “Women are just as sexual as men and they should own it,” the blogger tells us. Need proof? Check out the blog she started this summer — just make sure your hands are free and you’ve got a little privacy while you do so. Her posts are missives from a professional woman’s enthusiastic exploration of sensual subcultures in “one of the sexiest cities in the world.” Though her identity is clad in secrecy, Fleur De Lis SF’s escapades with Craig’s List Casual Encounters, BDSM clubs, and randy run-ins at the grocery store will leave you slicker than a Slip ‘N Slide in 90 percent humidity. Erotic inspiration notwithstanding, what we love about this new It slut is her candor and assertiveness. “Mainly, I want to educate people to embrace sex and sexuality,” she says. “I want people to accept who they are, and who are we are sexually is a huge part of who we are as people.”

fleurdelissf.wordpress.com

 

SLUTTIEST MAN ACTION

For the past few years, hunky leatherman cruisers have been blessed with the return of a SoMa bar crawl, which, while hardly rivaling the infamous Miracle Mile of the 1970s and ’80s, at least offers hide-lusting bar-hoppers an array of options. Truck, Hole in the Wall, Powerhouse, the Eagle, Lone Star — all make for a daisy chain of fellow cock-seekers. But the piece de resistance is surely Chaps II, which gives itself wholly over to man-action bliss. The original Chaps, owned by Chuck Slaton and Ron Morrison, was notorious for its Crisco-minded shenanigans, and Chaps II, opened in 2008 by David Morgan, continues the proudly perverse tradition, with parties devoted to rope play, piss play, fisting, and sports gear aficionados, as well as regular nights simply dedicated to the Holy Grail of slutty manhood: cheap ass. (For those unfamiliar — cheap ass tastes like chicken parmesan.) Kudos to you, Chaps II, for keeping the BDSM spirit alive — and serving a healthy round of Jäger shots to boot.

1225 Folsom, SF. (415) 255-2427, www.chapsbarsanfrancisco.com

 

SLUTTIEST ROBOTS

Drilldo, Intruder MK II, the Satisfyher, Scorpion, the Little Guy, Annihilator, the Octapussy — these are some of the friendly, dripping sex robots you’ll meet at FuckingMachines.com, part of the Kink.com kingdom. The machines put a bevy of heaving beauties through the motions with their dildo-studded fingers and pulsating hacksaw thrusts. Designed by lucky site users, who submit their moving-parts fantasies, and the fiendishly clever sex-elves at the Fucking Machines workshop (with many of the machines fabricated on site at Kink’s HQ in the Mission Armory), these fascinating thingamabobs range from devilishly dirty to actually kind of cute. There’s even one modeled on Johnny 5 from Short Circuit, albeit renamed Fuckzilla and outfitted with a huge silicone phallus. The whole shebang is overseen by the enthusiastic Tomcat, who drives the point home that, yes, a chainsaw outfitted with 20 fake tongues “challenges the whole idea that women need someone to buy them dinner to get pleasure.” Fucking machines themselves have been around since the 1960s, he notes, “but when we started in 2001, we wanted to capitalize on the tech wave, while approaching the machine construction like sculpture.” Good thing the Fucking Machine bubble didn’t burst.

 

SLUTTIEST SLÜT

Burlesque heroine Baroness Eva Von Slüt knows what she’s got, and she’s happy to show it to you. The inked, buxom platinum blonde dove into burlesque in 2002, but she’s never been afraid of flaunting her dangerous curves onstage. “Whatever the thing is that women have that they hate their bodies, I just don’t have it. I don’t compare myself to other people because I know I look good.” Von Slüt produces her own burlesque shows, plays party-jumping jams with partner DJ Mod Days, and heads up the vocals for no less than two sexy bands — Thee Merry Widows, an all-girl psychobilly explosion of fishnets, red lipstick, and leather dresses, at whose shows Von Slüt will bust out in pasties and sequined panties, and the White Barons, a stripped down, hard-edged punk outfit in which Von Slüt lets her rebel growl loose. So what gets this freight train whistling? Purrs the lady, “Self-confidence and kindness. Also, I am a bit of a cougar, so gentlemen 10 years younger. I’m not opposed to men my age or older, but gosh they’re just so sweet when they’re young!”

Catch Von Slüt’s DJ session on Wednesday, Oct. 13 at Butter, 354 11th St., SF. www.myspace.com/missevavonslut

 

SLUTTIEST FREE-FOR-ALL

There are a lot of gay musclemen at the Folsom Street Fair, and there are a lot of steamy, shirtless gay man-parties surrounding the event (causing quite a few Monday morning tragedies). But what about everyone else? “I was talking to my friends at Kink,” says Folsom organizer Demetri Moshoyannis, “and they said that once the fair ended, all the leathermen had a place to go, but everyone at the Kink booth just had to go home. So this year we teamed up with them to change that.” The result? A glorious-sounding omnisexual dance party called Deviants that’s open to everyone. The acknowledgment that gay muscle men aren’t the only ones who can get down and dirty into the wee hours is refreshing. But so is the musical lineup — the Juan Maclean, Zach Moore from Space Cowboys, Australia’s Stereogamous — which offers something beyond the carnival circuit-music at many of the other parties. Musclemen are welcome, too, of course, as long as they’re willing to shake their chains on the dance floor.

Sun/26, 6 p.m.–2 a.m., $30 advance. 525 Harrison, SF. www.folsomstreetfair.org/deviants

 

SLUTTIEST PIE

It’s not too many harems that offer you 40 different ways to satisfy your cravings. But hot, lip-smacking loving can be yours — in three different locations or for delivery, no less! — whenever that urge to do something naughty hits, whether you like it on your lunch hour or for a post-bar dirty stopover. Oh, Pizza Orgasmica, you sure do know what gets us going. The local chain has umpteen big, salacious pies with nookie-themed names for your perusing. And although the Ménage à Trois, with it’s cuddle puddle of five salty cheeses, will leave you panting, and the Latin Lover’s barbeque sauce, chicken, zucchini, onions, and cilantro make for a meaty, spicy affair, the sluttiest pie award has got to go to the Farmer’s Daughter. She looks like a demure little milkmaid (after all, you can find her on the vegetarian menu) — but once her drizzles of creamy bianca cheese hit your tongue, and her fresh corn and broccoli fill your mouth … it’s a tumble in the hay you won’t soon forget. Old MacDonald would be scandalized.

Various locations, www.pizzaorgasmica.com

 

SLUTTIEST CLOWN

When it comes gender-bending sexual escapades, we landlubbing bipeds tend to give short shrift to our finned, feathered, and multi-legged Earthmates. That’s why we’re giving a hearty bottoms up to the California Academy of Science’s Amphiprion ocellaris. The showy orange and white striped fish, whose common name is clownfish, is best known as the aquatic brat in Finding Nemo. But we don’t care about Nemo’s celebrity — or his billions. We salute him for his ability to shift from male to female when needed, giving her access to the entire spectrum of fishy sexuality. One of the planet’s rare sequential hermaphrodites, all clownfish are born male (protandrous hermaphrodites) but become female when the female in a breeding pair dies. You may never look at a clownfish the same way again — and you should certainly go and look at them at the Cal Academy aquarium (www.calacademy.org), where the San Franciscan clownfish ride tiny fixies, design websites, and sip Blue Bottle. Kidding! But maybe we should rethink always calling them “Nemo.” How about Nema for a change? Or Nemo-ma. Or, oh goddess of LGBT fish love, Nemaphrodite.

 

SLUTTIEST BUFFET

It’s lunchtime Friday and you need a juicy thigh in your mouth: Gold Club is there. And no, we’re not talking about the lovely ladies popping, dropping, and locking it all over the SoMa strip club’s pleasure poles. Carnal urges take on new meaning when it comes to the joint’s $5 all you can eat Friday buffet, an omnivorous affair stuffed with roast beef, lasagna, fresh veggies, hummus, brownies, and their signature breasts (or as one Yelper so memorably dubbed them, “fried chicken tit-tays!”) The spread attracts a diverse crowd of office workers and lap-dance connoisseurs of all genders, endowed with an appetite for crispy skin and jiggling glutei maximi alike. So pair your plate with a $4 happy hour cocktail — available until 7 p.m. — and don’t forget to share your savings with the working women up front.

Gold Club’s all you can eat buffet Fridays 11 a.m.– 2 p.m., $5. 650 Howard, SF. (415) 536-0300, www.goldclubsf.com

Slutty profiles written by Marke B., Caitlin Donohue, Johnny Ray Huston, and Diane Sussman.

Let them eat mayhem

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arts@sfbg.com

CULTURE/LIT “I work in advertising,” says Shannon O’Malley. “I just want to make people read my evil shit.” The evil shit O’Malley refers to isn’t a sales jingle, but recipes for apocalyptic cakes. Want to know how to make an Agent Orange Carrot Cake? Rachael Ray, Paula Dean, and even Sandra Lee probably can’t help, but O’Malley has just the right ingredients to tantalize your “cyst-ridden pus hole.” A collaboration with photographer Keith Wilson, her colorful picture book Apocalypse Cakes: Recipes From the End will be published by Running Press in the spring of 2011 — for now, you can feast on some appetizers from the tome (and order recipe cards) on her website. I recently met with O’Malley to discuss the sweet and the deadly. We were at a cafe, but neither of us ate dessert.

SFBG I guess I look at apocalyptic cakes from an arty angle, and also from a nihilistic one.

Shannon O’Malley Yeah! Fatalist gluttons! [Laughs]

SFBG I like the juxtaposition of something tasty and sweet with something harsh and disastrous.

SO Me too.

SFBG How did the first cake come about?

SO Not from any preoccupation on my behalf. I’m not a good cook, I don’t bake cakes. It happened because in December of 2008, it was my partner’s birthday. She’s obsessed with the apocalypse and actually wrote her undergraduate thesis on zombies. She got me into reading J.G. Ballard.

When you’re with someone who talks about something a lot, it sort of seeps into your brain. Her birthday came around, and I didn’t want to buy her something, I wanted to make something for her. Around the same time, she was obsessing about cake, so that whenever anything went wrong, she’d say, “I want cake.”

The whole week before her birthday I thought I’d make her a cake cookbook — a zine of fucked up cakes. But I thought that was sort of vanilla, excuse the pun. The night before, I started to really ask myself what she liked, and I thought of the apocalypse. Cake and the apocalypse — it made perfect sense. I stayed up all night on the computer making this eight-page color zine called Apocalypse Cakes. I started thinking about the plagues, and just took this shitty JPG I found on the Internet of red velvet cake, and called it Raining Blood Red Velvet Cake.

I did all the writing and Photoshopping and layout. I started at 11 p.m. and basically stayed up all night because I loved it so much.

At the time I was living in Austin, and I went to Kinko’s before I had to go to my ad agency job. I bound it and made a couple copies. That night I gave it to her for birthday. Then I started showing the zine to my friends and being like, “Look what I made — isn’t this funny? Aren’t I fucking funny?” That’s when I decided it should be a book.

SFBG Is that when you began your blog?

SO Yes. At first I thought it would only be text. But then I got with my friend Keith Wilson, who is a filmmaker here in town, and he said, “No, you need pictures.”

He and I got together, and our first two cakes were the Raining Blood Red Velvet Cake and the Branch Davidian Texas Pecan Pie. We made them at my house. We set the Branch Davidian Texas Pecan Pie on fire in the yard in front of my house. He styled it. He’s super meticulous and way more object- and space-oriented than I am, and he has a great eye for macabre details.

SFBG How did your Photoshop project compare to images that were set designed?

SO It totally changed things. Keith adds something that on my own would give me trouble. I don’t want to go through the trouble to make things just-so, but he totally gets into that. His mom was a caterer, and that helped him with his food assembly skills.

SFBG Do you often have the name of the cake first and go from there?

SO It started with me having all these different names and themes. Some of the early ones included the Sodom and Gomorrah Fruit Cake — traditional apocalyptic myths from the Bible. But then I started to branch out and Keith and I would talk. He’d say, “A lot of people think that immigrants coming to the United States is apocalyptic — why don’t we do an immigration cake?” So I came up with Immigration Mayhem Mexican Chocolate Cake. We started riffing off of each other and decided the recipe should be in Spanish, so honkies can’t read it.

Now, either of us can have the original idea. I name them and do the write-ups and pay for the production, and on Saturdays, he comes over with his camera and we art direct the set together. He snaps the photos, and then I retouch them. We’ve done that for eight or nine months.

SFBG Do current events have a larger presence within the project than they did initially?

SO Definitely. Now it has become more overtly political. The Immigration Mayhem Mexican Chocolate Cake looks at certain people’s fears of their world crumbling. In addition to a cake with a swarm of locusts, we also have President Palin Half-Baked Alaska. Some of them come from our political perspective, and some of them are just stupid and gross and fun. Like Whore of Babylon Fruit Tart. Science fiction is also inspiring. We have a meteorite cake, and one about insurgent robots.

SFBG What does your girlfriend think of the project now? Does she give feedback?

SO She loves it. She’s been integral to it. When it was just a blog, a local art show had a call for entries and I thought, “Man, I wish I could enter a blog in the art show.” I thought that maybe I could have a computer at the gallery so people could browse the blog. She collects vintage cookbooks and has all this retro cooking imagery, and she said, “Why don’t you make old-timey recipe cards?” I don’t know if you’ve seen this one: Jonestown Kool-Aid Cake.

Once I got started working with the cakes, friends would come up to me and say things like, “What about Jonestown?” An old roommate suggested that cake. You know one day they’re going to build condos where the compound was in Guyana.

At a certain point I realized that every region has its apocalypse. The Seismic Haitian Mud Cake — that isn’t the end of the world, but it’s their fucking end of the world.

SFBG Do you find the format of a recipe lends itself to your sarcasm and sensibility?

SO The template has helped me. I know how long each write-up will be and that I have to make a recipe. But I’m apart from the text — when you make something that resonates with people, it sort of becomes its own thing. People get excited about it, so it’s gotta be made.

SFBG What are some of your favorite cakes?

SO I really like the China World Domination Red Bean Cake. It was conceptual, it was easy to make — I bought the cakes at a Chinese grocery store — and it makes fun of people who are xenophobic.

SFBG Since you began working on this, has the apocalyptic materialized for you more often?

SO I’ve always been into the archetype of the murderous housewife — situations that seem so perfectly dainty and wonderful, but have something dark behind them.

SFBG Like John Waters’ Serial Mom.

SO Exactly. I was just thinking of Kathleen Turner, and how John Waters’ movies are about seeing how shitty the strait-laced people are from the perspective of the people of the underworld. I like the dichotomy of, “You think it’s nice, don’t you? Well, it’s not.”

When I was writing a lot of this, I was working at an ad agency, and I was constantly bombarded with product names and messages about why products are awesome. There are write-ups where I talk of specific company names. One cake that we did for the book is all about the ubiquity of antidepressants and other blockbuster pharmaceuticals like Lipitor. It’s called Big Pharma Nut Cake.

People talk and write to me about the apocalypse more. Someone will say, “Hey, I found this article about the Super Hadron Collider and black holes.” But do I see the apocalyptic in the everyday? Not really.

In writing this book, I had to learn about the ten plagues of Egypt. The apocalypse hasn’t come to me — I had to go to it. *

www.shannonomalley.com

Our Weekly Picks: September 15-21, 2010

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WEDNESDAY 15

 

MUSIC

Head Cat

Boasting a bona fide all-star lineup of musicians, rockabilly super group the Head Cat features Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead on bass and vocals, Slim Jim Phantom of the Stray Cats on drums, and Danny B. Harvey of the Rockats on guitar and piano. Breathing new life and a new attitude into classic tunes by Buddy Holly, Eddie Cochran, Carl Perkins, Johnny Cash, and others, the trio hits the road for a few special gigs whenever they can find the rare time in their mutually busy touring schedules. Fans can expect a new slew of hell-bent covers from their yet untitled forthcoming second album, along with a couple of original songs born from the same vein of the seminal sound that forged the template for all rock ‘n’ roll to come. (Sean McCourt)

With Red Meat and Bad Men

9 p.m., $20

Uptown

1928 Telegraph, Oakl.

www.uptownnightclub.com

 

THURSDAY 16

 

MUSIC

Wild Nothing

Don’t call it “chillwave:” Wild Nothing’s Jack Tatum makes woozy beach music that owes more to ’80s Cocteau Twins dream-pop than the recent lo-fi progeny who bear that wince-inducing label. The dream-pop badge is one Tatum wears proudly, initially gaining online chatter from a faithful rendition of Kate Bush’s “Cloudbusting” before releasing debut album Gemini, which features a lot of those deep drum machine sounds you used to hear out of Collins and Gabriel before they moved on to Disney theme songs and cover albums, respectively. Joining Tatum at this Popscene event is Swedish Balearic pop star Eric Berglund, of Tough Alliance fame, performing as DJ CEO. Don’t forget the beach ball! (Peter Galvin)

With DJ CEO and JJ

9 p.m., $10–$13

Popscene

330 Ritch, SF

www.popscene-sf.com

EVENT

“w00tstock”

Though the Revenge of the Nerds movies were made back in the 1980s, the collective social paradigm had yet to really shift in favor of our pocket protector-wearing brethren. But now, with the near ubiquity of computers, entertainment technology, and mainstream success of events like Comic-Con, the time has come to push those horn-rimmed glasses back up our noses and bask in the geek glory that is upon us. Join Adam Savage from Mythbusters, Wil Wheaton from Star Trek: The Next Generation, music-comedy team Paul and Storm, and others for a night of music, comedy, readings, films, demonstrations, and more that embrace geek pride. (McCourt)

Through Fri/17

7:30 p.m., $30

Great American Music Hall

859 O’Farrell, SF

(415) 885-0750

www.gamh.com

 

FRIDAY 17

 

FILM

The Room

Oh, hi. You know, we have a policy about not running sold-out events in Picks, and I suspect tickets for the Red Vic’s screenings of 2003’s The Room — hot commodities under any circumstances — are in scarce supply, especially since writer-director-producer-star Tommy Wiseau plans to attend each showing in person. But how could I naaaht include what just might be the cinematic event of the year? If you’ve seen The Room, you know whereof I speak. If you haven’t seen it, you are tearing me a part [sic]. Gather your spoons, your football, your red roses, your red dress, your pizza, your tuxedo, your drug debts, your green screen, your phone-tapping device, and your most romantic slow jamz — maybe that’ll be enough Room mojo to secure a front-row seat. (Cheryl Eddy)

Through Sat/18

8 p.m. and midnight, $15

Red Vic

1727 Haight, SF

(415) 668-3994

www.redvicmoviehouse.com

 

SATURDAY 18

 

MUSIC

Kele

Kele Okereke has a deeply soulful voice that forms the heart of his steady band, Bloc Party, consistently matching dramatic post-punk guitars and ruthless drums with gusto. But it appears Kele’s interests are more far-reaching than anyone ever thought: he brings those soulful vocals to a collection of chintzy U.K. house in his first ever solo album. The Boxer is a hodgepodge of ideas and styles that survives solely on the exuberance Okereke brings to each performance. He’s so happy to be making these songs, you can literally hear him smiling as he sings. (Galvin)

With Does It Offend You, Yeah?, Innerpartysystem, Aaron Axelsen, and Miles

9 p.m., $20

Mezzanine

444 Jessie, SF

(415) 625-8880

www.mezzaninesf.com

DANCE

Mary Armentrout Dance Theater

Mary Armentrout is a choreographer of keen perception and sharp intelligence. As an artist, her pieces are witty and wonderfully theatrical — yet they also explore important ideas. Unfortunately, she is not very prolific, so this premiere should be a real treat. The site-specific the woman invisible to herself explores issues around identity even as it questions the very nature of performance — as a state of being and as a theatrical practice. Armentrout structured woman as a solo for herself — and for Natalie Green, Nol Simonse, and Frances Rotario. It will be performed for small audiences at sunset in and around her studio, the Milkbar in East Oakland. (Rita Felciano)

Through Oct. 3

Sat.–Sun., 6:30 p.m. (times vary), $20

Milkbar at the Sunshine Biscuit Factory

851 81st St., Oakl.

(510) 845-8604

www.maryarmentroutdancetheater.com

EVENT

Creature Feature Night at AT&T Park

Beloved local TV horror host and writer John Stanley resurrects the classic Creature Features show for a spooktacular evening at the ballpark tonight — after cheering on the Giants as they take on the Milwaukee Brewers, fans can head out onto the field for some eerie entertainment, prizes, and limited edition T shirts. Then, under cover of darkness (and likely shrouded in a perfect scene-setting fog), the high tech scoreboard will transform into a giant movie screen, showing the 1954 Universal monster melee Creature From The Black Lagoon. Be sure to bring a blanket — and watch out for any beasts clamoring out of McCovey Cove! (McCourt)

6:05 p.m., $25

AT&T Park

24 Willie Mays Plaza, SF

www.sfgiants.com/specialevents

www.bayareafilmevents.com

EVENT

“A Tribute to Fess Parker”

For multiple generations of kids, Fess Parker was a true American hero. Though he was just an actor, he came to embody the stature and values of the roles he played, particularly those of Daniel Boone, and of course, the one he is most remembered for, Davy Crockett. Parker passed away earlier this year, but his legacy will live on in the hearts of his fans, who can celebrate his life and work this weekend with a series of Davy Crockett screenings and a special tribute event featuring members of his family. (McCourt)

Sat/18–Sun/19, 3 p.m. (also Sat/18, 10:15 a.m.), $5–$12

Walt Disney Family Museum Theater

104 Montgomery, Presidio, SF

(415) 345-6800

www.waltdisney.org

EVENT

UFO X Fest

Because you’ve only got 472 days left until 2012. Because that lenticular cloud you peeped over Mount Shasta on Labor Day weekend left you a little tingly. Because The X-Files hasn’t been on TV for eight years. Whatever the reason, mysterious forces are pulling you to UFO X Fest. G’wan, heed them — the two-day lineup of speakers, films, and collegiate paranoia is just the ticket for truthiness. Speakers include a chappie who has assembled a database of 142,000 recorded UFO sightings and a cryptohunter whose specialty lies in scrutinizing unexplained cattle mutilations. Through Sun/19. (Caitlin Donohue) 

9:30 a.m., $89.99 (weekend pass, $149.99)

Historic Bal Theater

14808 East 14th St., San Leandro

(510) 614-1224

www.ufoxfest.com

 

SUNDAY 19

 

MUSIC

Melvins

No strangers to the SF stage, Seattle’s iconoclastic sludge merchants the Melvins are back, with a new album, The Bride Screamed Murder, in tow. The band has long specialized in mind-bending songwriting and arrangement, and The Bride doesn’t disappoint, working in everything from free jazz to boot camp-style call-and-response — “Captain Beefheart playing heavy metal” according to guitarist/vocalist King Buzzo (and his legendary coiffure). The dual-drummered quartet (Big Business skinsperson Coady Willis joined in 2006) will be presaged by the delectably grungesque L.A.-by-way-of-SF trio Totimoshi, touring on 2008’s thumping Milagrosa but touting a new record very soon. (Ben Richardson)

With Totimoshi

9 p.m., $21

Slim’s

333 11th St, SF

(415) 255-0333

www.slims-sf.com

FILM

 

“Radical Light: Landscape as Expression”

San Francisco plays itself in dozens of Hollywood movies, but the avant-garde works featured in the inaugural “Radical Light” program explore the imaginary city, the one perpetually coming into shape through the fog and over the hills. Of the city’s topography, filmmaker-teacher Sidney Peterson noted with some delight, “The straight line simply resisted use.” Tonight’s bill draws on the works of artists similarly disinclined: Bruce Baillie’s lovely Ella Fitzgerald-scored camera movement (1966’s All My Life); Chris Marker’s science-fiction views of Emeryville trash sculptures (1981’s Junkopia); Dion Vigne’s electrifying survey of North Beach’s surfaces (1958’s North Beach); and in-person appearances from two established masters, Lawrence Jordan (1957-78’s Visions of a City) and Ernie Gehr (1991’s Side/Walk/Shuttle). (Max Goldberg)

6:30 p.m., $9.50

Pacific Film Archive

2575 Bancroft, Berk.

(510) 642-1412

www.bampfa.berkeley.edu


TUESDAY 21

 

MUSIC

Cloud Cult

The inspiration for much of Craig Minowa’s music with Cloud Cult is, and seemingly will always be, the sudden death of his two-year-old son in 2002. An event like that is likely to shape any man’s future. Although the Cloud Cult moniker existed previous to that devastating moment, it’s absolutely appropriate for a band that thrives on songs about the next life, fear, and pain. Let me backpedal a bit though, because while those are scary subjects, this is not scary music. We’re talking jubilant indie music here, and, judging the tunes apart from their lyrical content, Minowa crafts some wildly fun, experimental beats that prove that the things that shape you don’t have to define you. (Galvin)

With Mimicking Birds

8 p.m., $15

Independent

628 Divisadero, SF

(415) 771-1421

www.theindependentsf.com

FILM

“Robert Altman vs. Friendship!”

Of the three consecutive Robert Altman double-headers at the Roxie this week, I’ll put my money on this one every time. California Split (1974) remains one of the great troves of talk in American movies and a prime example of the director’s open sound design. In a just world, lovers of 1998’s The Big Lebowski would line up for Elliot Gould and George Segal as compulsive gamblers and friends, blurting out pearls on betting, the Seven Dwarves, stealing time, and California (“Everybody’s named Barbara”). As for 3 Women (1977), I still think I must have dreamed Shelley Duvall and Sissy Spacek being in the same movie. (Goldberg)

7 and 9 p.m., $6–10

Roxie Theater

3117 16th St., SF

(415) 863-1087

www.roxie.com 

The Guardian listings deadline is two weeks prior to our Wednesday publication date. To submit an item for consideration, please include the title of the event, a brief description of the event, date and time, venue name, street address (listing cross streets only isn’t sufficient), city, telephone number readers can call for more information, telephone number for media, and admission costs. Send information to Listings, the Guardian Building, 135 Mississippi St., SF, CA 94107; fax to (415) 487-2506; or e-mail (paste press release into e-mail body — no text attachments, please) to listings@sfbg.com. We cannot guarantee the return of photos, but enclosing an SASE helps. Digital photos may be submitted in jpeg format; the image must be at least 240 dpi and four inches by six inches in size. We regret we cannot accept listings over the phone.

On the Cheap listings

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On the Cheap listings are compiled by Paula Connelly. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com.

WEDNESDAY 15

Bad Movie Night Argus Lounge, 3197 Mission, SF; (415) 824-1447. 8pm, $2. If you’ve got a bad film you’ve been secretly wishing to screen, here’s your chance to share it. Bring any film on DVD, made by you, that is under 10 minutes and enter for a chance to win a best worst mystery prize. Proceeds benefit the Cut and Run Tour, a traveling film festival specializing in short, avant-garde, and experimental film. With DJ Squid spinning punk, core, and alt rock.

"Hot and Cold Extreme Environments" Randall Museum, 199 Museum Way, SF; (415) 554-9600. 7:30pm, free. Join planetary scientist Chris McKay, from the Space Science Division of the NASA Ames Research Center, for a presentation on life in extreme environments and how it is relevant to the search for life in the Solar System.

Ten Fingers Café Royale, 800 Post, SF; (415) 441-4099. 8pm, free. Everyone has a story to tell, so come share yours at this live storytelling event where performers have a chance to win $150 or be featured on NPR’s Snap Judgment. The only rules are: no reading, keep it under 10 minutes, and aim for nonfiction. To sign up in advance, email stephanie@snapjudgment.org.

BAY AREA

El Grito Bicentennial Jack London Square, Franklin at Water, Oakl.; www.jacklondonsquare.com. 4pm, free. Celebrate the 200 year anniversary of Mexican independence from Spanish rule at this outdoor festival featuring artists, craft vendors, live music, activities, and more.


THURSDAY 16

Inside Storytime Café Royale, 800 Post, SF; (415) 505-0869. 6:30pm, $3-$5. A fun, cozy event where you can booze and schmooze with the San Francisco literati featuring readings from Raj Patel, author of The Value of Nothing, Justine Sharrock, author of Tortured, Gordy Slack, author of The Battle Over the Meaning of Everything, Anna Mantzaris, Hank Pellissier, and James Warner.

Project Censored City Lights Bookstore, 261 Columbus, SF; (415) 362-8193. 7pm, free. Each year, Project Censored lists the top 25 major news stories that were ignored or underreported by the mainstream press and presents the details of these stories in depth. Join Mickey Huff and Peter Phillips in discussing this year’s most censored stories and celebrating the release of Censored 2011.

FRIDAY 17

Readings from Joyland Dog Eared Books, 900 Valencia, SF; www.joyland.ca. 8pm, free. Catch the second stop of the Joyland American tour celebrating the release of books from Joyland founders Emily Schultz and Brian Joseph Davis who will be reading along with San Francisco writers Peter Orner, Tamar Halpern, Helene Wecker, Ruth Galm, and host Kara Levy. All authors have been published on the joyland.ca site, which aims to make the international local by providing a platform for unique voices in short fiction.

SATURDAY 18

J-Pop Summit Festival Post between Webster and Buchanan, SF; www.j-pop.com.

11am-6pm, free-$20. Take in the Japanese pop-inspired attractions at this annual festival featuring musical performances by some of Japan’s hottest bands, fashion shows, film screenings, art and anime booths, live art performances, Japanese food vendors, and more.

Literary Tribute to Al Robles Intersection 5M, 925 Mission, SF; (415) 626-2787. 6pm, $5 suggested donation. Join members of the Bay Area literary community as they honor poet, educator, community activist, and advocate for the poor and senior citizens, Al Robles. The evening of storytelling hosted by D. Scott Miller to include poetry, prose, conversation, and recollections of Robles with Jessica Hagedorn, Jack Hirschman, Janice Mirikatani, Alejandro Murguia, Jaime Jacinto, Ishmael Reed, and more.

BAY AREA

Artspark San Pablo Park, 2800 Park between Russell and Ward, Berk.; www.artsparkfestival.org. 11am-4pm, free. Enjoy this free, community sponsored festival promoting community health by offering free health information from East Bay health organizations and free art lessons in drawing, painting, dancing, spoken word, and more. Also featuring nutritious, hot meals for under $5 and entertainment and performances including live music, spoken word, and more.

SUNDAY 19

Dancing in the Streets Noe at Market, SF; www.castrocbd.org. 1pm-4pm, free. Enjoy a live band and dancing in the streets with the Byran Keith Country Band and Queer Ballroom giving free country two step lessons.

Leland Avenue Fair Leland at Bayshore, SF; www.sfvvboom.blogspot.com. 10am-4pm, free. Celebrate the recently completed Visitacion Valley public art and streetscape at this community festival featuring local talents including Latin jazz percussionist Pete Escovedo and his six-piece orchestra, artists, chefs, entertainers, and vendors.

Roadworks Street Fair Rhode Island between 16th and 17th St., SF; www.sfcb.org. Noon-5pm, free. Using a three ton steamroller, a team of featured artists will be making large-scale prints right in the street from carved linoleum blocks. Watch the action and enjoy the bazaar featuring wares from over 80 artists, vendors, and organizations, live music, entertainment, street food, and activities.

Comedy Day Sharon Meadow, Golden Gate Park, SF; www.comedyday.com. Noon-5pm, free. Thirty comedians will be performing in a non-stop relay of jokes to celebrate the 30th anniversary of Comedy Day. Comics to include up-and-coming talent, national and Bay Area favorites, and a few who performed at the original Comedy Day. Food and beverage vendors available.