Energy

PG&E attack mailer puts City Hall on defensive

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GREEN CITY On a Pacific Gas & Electric Co. conference call in late October, with top PG&E executives and analysts from Goldman Sachs, Deutsche Bank, and other prominent investment firms on the line, PG&E president Chris Johns explained how a company-sponsored ballot initiative could save millions of dollars for the utility.

“We have faced potential takeovers multiple times over the last several years and we have had to expend significant resources to oppose these efforts,” Johns explained, referring to attempts by public agencies to set up independent electricity programs that threaten to compete with PG&E. “The success of this initiative, if placed on the ballot, could significantly reduce the need for taxpayers and utilities to oppose these local government takeover attempts.”

His comments appeared in a transcript from an earnings call posted on a financial Web site called SeekingAlpha.com. When pressed by an analyst about how PG&E had come up with the idea, company CEO Peter Darbee chimed in. “What occurred to us was we were repeatedly faced with this, and we were spending significant amounts of money year after year,” Darbee said, according to the transcript. “So we asked ourselves: what would be something that could discourage this over the longer term?”

What surfaced was a proposal for a statewide ballot initiative that would amend the state constitution to require a two-thirds majority vote at the ballot before any local government could develop its own electricity program. With such a high hurdle in place, efforts to move forward with publicly-owned power programs would essentially come to a standstill. But with San Francisco’s own stab at it expected to get underway long before the proposed initiative is placed on the ballot, PG&E is back to its default tactic of pouring millions into an opposition campaign.

San Francisco’s community choice aggregation (CCA) initiative, called CleanPowerSF, took a leap forward last month when a request for proposals (RFPs) went out to potential electricity service providers. The program aims to provide 51 percent renewable electricity by 2017, a meaningful step toward reducing greenhouse gas emissions.

But on the heels of this milestone, a wave of mailers bearing PG&E’s name in fine print crashed into San Francisco homes and businesses, screaming “Business Beware” in 1.5-inch type and proclaiming CleanPowerSF to be a “costly energy scheme.” The mailer cites a city controller’s report projecting that customer bills could be 24 percent higher under CCA.

But the San Francisco Local Agency Formation Commission (LAFCo), which is working in partnership with the San Francisco Public Utilities Commission to craft the emerging power program, responded in a press statement that this claim is misleading, since a fee structure has not yet been nailed down. While the controller’s report also noted that it was too early to say just what the pricing structure would be, it’s been a primary goal of the city’s CCA all along to offer customer billing rates that meet or beat PG&E prices.

Meanwhile, the city appears ready to fight back — and questions have already been raised about whether it was legal to distribute the attack mailer. Sup. Ross Mirkarimi, who chairs LAFCo, announced at the Dec. 15 Board of Supervisors meeting that he was requesting that the city attorney examine whether PG&E had violated state law by distributing the mailer. According to the state law that laid the groundwork for CCAs to exist, investor-owned utilities are required to “cooperate fully” with the public power efforts of cities. “PG&E has blanketed this city … with mailers that distort and misrepresent what CCA is doing,” Mirkarimi said. “I believe this is a potential violation of California Public Utility Commission law.”

Several days before Mirkarimi’s announcement, the Guardian received confirmation from City Attorney Dennis Herrera that his office is looking into the matter.

The mailer included a link to the Web site CommonSenseSF.com, launched by an entity called the “Coalition for Reliable and Affordable Electricity.” A call to Townsend, Raimundo, Besler & Usher, a Sacramento public-relations firm that has worked with PG&E in the past, revealed that this coalition is one of the firm’s clients, and that the person handling that client is Bob Pence. The proponent listed on the statewide ballot initiative is Robert Lee Pence — evidently the same person. The Guardian left a message for Pence inquiring who, besides PG&E, the coalition members are (the mailer claims there are 50,000), but he did not return the call. Multiple calls to PG&E were not returned either.

Meanwhile, the Guardian has received a handful of anecdotal reports that when clipboard-wielding signature gatherers were out on the streets circulating a petition in support of the PG&E-backed ballot initiative, people were fed some fishy stories about what the proposed constitutional amendment would actually do.

A voter who lives in Bakersfield contacted the Guardian to say she’d signed the petition because she was told that the ballot initiative would limit PG&E expansion — but she later did some research and found that PG&E was the primary force behind it, so she called the Registrar of Voters to have her name struck from the list.

Mark Toney of the Utility Reform Network told the Guardian that he’d also been misinformed. But as someone familiar with the issue, he knew better. “I ran across signature gatherers in Emeryville. They told me that if I signed the petition, I’d be supporting a two-thirds majority vote to raise PG&E rates,” Toney said. “I said, ‘Well that’s interesting. The language here doesn’t say PG&E at all.

John Srebalus of Pasadena wrote in an e-mail that he was also misled by a signature gatherer. After he signed a petition to legalize marijuana, he said the woman with the clipboard flipped a few pages and asked him to sign again, as if in duplicate. But there was a rubber band securing the top half of this second page, hiding the text. When he peeled it back, he found that it was actually PG&E’s ballot initiative, which he had already refused to sign once before.

According to a source familiar with the campaign who asked not to be named, the petition was a particularly hard sell for signature gatherers, many of whom stake their entire livelihoods on earning less than $2 per signature. According to this individual, the erratic sales pitches caught on like wildfire because without a compelling hook, it was nearly impossible to convince random passersby to support something that came off as convoluted and wonky. This person said PG&E became alarmed when it caught wind of all the distorted representations and tried to put a stop to them.

Campaign spokesperson Greg Larsen told the Guardian he hadn’t heard anything about that, but he did emphasize the importance of the signed document, as opposed to the signature gatherers’ pitch. “The hope is that you read what you’re signing,” he said. “That’s really what the issue is — it’s what’s on this piece of paper.” Larsen added that the campaign had submitted 1.1 million signatures, “far in excess of the number of required certified signatures” to have the initiative placed on the ballot.

We’re all in this together

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Text by Sarah Phelan

“The disaster is already in progress, but we have it in our power to end this injustice,”
Desmond Tutu, COP15

So begins the email that Green for All’s Phaedra Ellis-Lamkins sent from Copenhagen at 3 a.m–a message that sums up the climate change-driven disaster that everyone is facing, even if they haven’t admitted it, yet.

“This city is filled with people who face the consequences of global warming every day,” she continues. “Families who watched their homes fall into the water, farmers who can no longer harvest because of drought, and those whose peaceful countries are now preparing for unrest because they are losing their natural resources. These are the victims of global warming; debating whether the crisis is “real” denies their human experience, and that of millions of people like them around the world.”

“We elected Barack Obama, who promised a clean-energy economy that would restore our economic power and affirm our place as part of a global community,” she observes, as she urges folks to get off the fence and ask Obama to sign a strong climate agreement in Copenhagen.. “He left no doubt that global warming was real and was a threat to our existence, and he vowed to lead the charge to solve it.”

“A year later, we are again at a crossroads,” she concludes.” Last year’s election was not the end of the mission. We will reach the end only when we have translated our values and promise into action. Hope is not enough. It must become change.”

I like the sentiment–and it reminds me that I have to stop getting annoyed with the folks who want to blame Obama for everything, and start refocusing on doing whatever I can to make change happen. And the good news is…there is so much that I can do.

To see how climate change stands to impact the local community click here.

Music listings

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Music listings are compiled by Paula Connelly and Cheryl Eddy. Since club life is unpredictable, it’s a good idea to call ahead to confirm bookings and hours. Prices are listed when provided to us. Submit items at listings@sfbg.com.

WEDNESDAY 16

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

"Blue Bear School of Music Band Showcase" Café du Nord. 7:30pm, $12-20.

Geographer, Northern Key, DJ Elise, DJ Jacob Fury Harlot, 46 Minna, SF; www.tricycle-records.com. 9pm, $5.

Brian Glaze and the Night Shift, Dreamdate, Carletta Sue Kay Hemlock. 9pm, $6.

Heeldraggers, 49 Special Hotel Utah. 8pm, $8.

Misisipi Rider, Media Male, Geneva Pop Annie’s Social Club. 8pm, $6.

Provisionals, Worker Bee, Echo Location El Rio. 8pm, $5.

Rural Alberta Advantage, Shaky Hands, Sonny and the Sunsets Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $10.

Adam H. Stephens, Two Sheds, Honey Rickshaw Stop. 8pm, $10.

Zodiac Death Valley, In the Dust, Groggs Elbo Room. 9pm, $6.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

"B3 Wednesdays" Coda. 9pm, $7. With Pete Levin.

Cat’s Corner Savanna Jazz. 7pm, $5-10.

Charlie Hunter Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $16-20.

Le Jazz Hot Hotel Rex, 562 Sutter, SF; (415) 398-6449. 6:30pm, $20.

Ben Marcato and the Mondo Combo Top of the Mark. 7:30pm, $10.

Marcus Shelby Jazz Jam Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.

Tin Cup Serenade Le Colonial, 20 Cosmo Place, SF; (415) 931-3600. 7pm, free.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Gaucho, Michael Abraham Jazz Session Amnesia. 8pm, free.

Rolando Morales Biscuits and Blues. 8pm, $15.

Somerville and Keehan Plough and Stars. 9pm.

DANCE CLUBS

Booty Call Q-Bar, 456 Castro; www.bootycallwednesdays.com. 9pm. Juanita Moore hosts this dance party, featuring DJ Robot Hustle.

Hands Down! Bar on Church. 9pm, free. With DJs Claksaarb, Mykill, and guests spinning indie, electro, house, and bangers.

Jam Wednesday Infusion Lounge. 10pm, free. DJ Slick Dee.

Qoöl 111 Minna Gallery. 5-10pm, $5. Pan-techno lounge with DJs Spesh, Gil, Hyper D, and Jondi.

RedWine Social Dalva. 9pm-2am, free. DJ TophOne and guests spin outernational funk and get drunk.

Respect Wednesdays End Up. 10pm, $5. Rotating DJs Daddy Rolo, Young Fyah, Irie Dole, I-Vier, Sake One, Serg, and more spinning reggae, dancehall, roots, lovers rock, and mash ups.

Synchronize Il Pirata, 2007 16th St.; (415) 626-2626. 10pm, free. Psychedelic dance music with DJs Helios, Gatto Matto, Psy Lotus, Intergalactoid, and guests.

THURSDAY 17

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Ambience, Ben Henderson, Cloud Archive Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $8.

Blisses B, Bryn Loosley and the Back Pages, Tyler Matthew Smith Hotel Utah. 9pm, $6.

Noise/Experimental Night Amnesia. 9pm, $6. With Death Sentence Panda, San Francisco Water Cooler, Steve Reich’s Marimba Phase with David Douglass and William Winant, and Butterclaw.

Katie Garibaldi, Sandy Greenfield, Vice Grant and Green. 9pm, free.

John Németh Biscuits and Blues. 8pm, $18.

Officer Down, Street Justice Annie’s Social Club. 8pm, $7.

Sabertooth Zombie, Dcoi, Pullout, A Better Hope Foundation Thee Parkside. 9pm, $7.

Scrabbel, Seventeen Evergreen, Amores Vigilantes, DJ Neil Martinson Café du Nord. 9pm, $10.

Top Critters, Christmas G, La Corde Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $6.

El Vez, Los Straitjackets Independent. 8pm, $20.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Terry Disley Washington Square Bar and Grill, 1707 Powell, SF; (415) 433-1188. 7:30pm, free.

Eric Kurtzrock Trio Ana Mandara, Ghirardelli Square, 891 Beach, SF; (415) 771-6800. 7:30pm, free.

Laurent Fourgo Le Colonial, 20 Cosmo Place, SF; (415) 931-3600. 7:30pm, free.

Hiroshima Rrazz Room, Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason, SF; (415) 394-1189. 8pm, $42.50-47.50.

Charlie Hunter Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $16-20.

Le Jazz Hot Shanghai 1930. 7pm, free.

Marlina Teich Trio Brickhouse, 426 Brannan, SF; (415) 820-1595. 7-10pm, free.

Stompy Jones Top of the Mark. 7:30pm, $10.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Aoede, Ziva Hadar Duboce Park Café, 2 Sanchez, SF; (415) 621-1108. 7:30pm, free.

Bluegrass and Old Time Jam Atlas Café. 8pm, free.

Mission 3 Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.

Tipsy House Plough and Stars. 9pm.

DANCE CLUBS

Afrolicious Elbo Room. 9:30pm, $5-6. DJs Pleasuremaker, Señor Oz, J Elrod, and B Lee spin Afrobeat, Tropicália, electro, samba, and funk.

Caribbean Connection Little Baobab, 3388 19th St; 643-3558. 10pm, $3. DJ Stevie B and guests spin reggae, soca, zouk, reggaetón, and more.

Club Jammies Edinburgh Castle. 10pm, free. DJs EBERrad and White Mice spinning reggae, punk, dub, and post punk.

Drop the Pressure Underground SF. 6-10pm, free. Electro, house, and datafunk highlight this weekly happy hour.

Funky Rewind Skylark. 9pm, free. DJ Kung Fu Chris, MAKossa, and rotating guest DJs spin heavy funk breaks, early hip-hop, boogie, and classic Jamaican riddims.

Heat Icon Ultra Lounge. 10pm, free. Hip-hop, R&B, reggae, and soul.

Kick It Bar on Church. 9pm. Hip-hop with DJ Jorge Terez.

Koko Puffs Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary; 885-4788. 10pm, free. Dubby roots reggae and Jamaican funk from rotating DJs.

Meat DNA Lounge. 9:30pm, $2-5. Industrial with BaconMonkey, Netik, Mario Muse, and Unit 77.

Mestiza Bollywood Café, 3376 19th St., SF; (415) 970-0362. 10pm, free. Showcasing progressive Latin and global beats with DJ Juan Data.

Nightvision Harlot, 46 Minna, SF; (415) 777-1077. 9:30pm, $10. DJs Danny Daze, Franky Boissy, and more spinning house, electro, hip hop, funk, and more.

Popscene 330 Rich. 10pm, $10. Rotating DJs spinning indie, Britpop, electro, new wave, and post-punk.

Represent Icon Lounge. 10pm, $5. With Resident DJ Ren the Vinyl Archaeologist and guest. Rock Candy Stud. 9pm-2am, $5. Luscious Lucy Lipps hosts this electro-punk-pop party with music by ReXick.

Solid Club Six. 9pm, $5. With resident DJ Daddy Rolo and rotating DJs Mpenzi, Shortkut, Polo Mo’qz and Fuze spinning roots, reggae, and dancehall.

FRIDAY 18

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Frank Bey Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $22.

*Black Cobra, Fucking Wrath, Moses, Pins of Light, DJ Rob Metal Annie’s Social Club. 8:30pm, $8.

*Death Angel Slim’s. 9pm, $22.

Diego’s Umbrella, Superadventure Club, Gow to Win at Life Elbo Room. 9pm, $8.

Lady Genius, FOMA, Ian Fayes Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $7.

DJ Lebowitz Madrone Art Bar. 6-9pm, free.

Moonlight Orchestra, Montana 1948, Blue Rabbit Bottom of the Hill. 9:30pm, $10.

Mother Hips, Dawes, Parson Red Heads Great American Music Hall. 8:30pm, $20.

Lee "Scratch" Perry, Revival Sound System Independent. 9pm, $25.

Pink Mountain, T.I.T.S., Arrington De Dionyso, Work, Pink Canoes, Al Qaeda, Seven Lies About Girls Café du Nord. 8pm, free.

Steve Kimock Crazy Engine Fillmore. 9pm, $25.

Strange Angel Blues Band Socha Café, 3235 Mission, SF; (415) 643-6848. 8:30pm.

El Ten Eleven, Sixteens, Choke Thee Parkside. 9pm, $7.

Yellow Dress, Quite Polite, Danger Babes Hotel Utah. 9pm, $6.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Audium 9 1616 Bush, SF; (415) 771-1616. 8:30pm, $15.

Black Market Jazz Orchestra Top of the Mark. 9pm, $10.

"Brian Culbertson’s A Soulful Christmas" Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $28-35.

Eric Kurtzrock Trio Ana Mandara, Ghirardelli Square, 891 Beach, SF; (415) 771-6800. 8pm, free.

Hiroshima Rrazz Room, Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason, SF; (415) 394-1189. 8pm, $42.50-47.50.

Le Jazz Hot Mechanics’ Institute, 57 Post, SF; (415) 393-0100. 7:30pm, $18.

Lucid Lovers Rex Hotel, 562 Sutter, SF; (415) 433-4434. 6-8pm.

Regina Pontillo Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.

Terry Disley Experience Shanghai 1930. 7:30pm, free.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Annie Bacon’s Folk Opera Kaleidoscope, 3109 24th St., SF; www.kaleidoscopefreespeechzone.com. 8pm, $5.

Bluegrass Bonanza Plough and Stars. 9pm.

Erin Brazil Live with special guests Dolores Park Café. 7:30pm, free.

Rob Reich and Craig Ventresco Amnesia. 7pm, free.

DANCE CLUBS

Activate! Lookout, 3600 16th St; (415) 431-0306. 9pm, $3. Face your demigods and demons at this Red Bull-fueled party.

Bar on Church 9pm. Rotating DJs Zax, Zhaldee, and Nuxx.

Blow Up Rickshaw Stop. 10pm, $15. With DJs Jeffrey Paradise and Richie Panic spinning dance music.

Deathmas Ball Medici Lounge, 299 9th St., SF; (415) 501-9162. 9pm, $5. With DJs voodoo, Purgatory, and Starr spinning goth, industrial, deathrock, glam, and eighties.

Deep Fried Butter, 354 11th St., SF; (415) 863-5964. DJs jaybee, David Justin, and Dean Manning spinning indie, dance rock, electronica, funk, hip hop, and more.

Dubstep Holiday Party Club Six. 9pm. With DJs Matty G, Pawn, Ultra Violet, Roommate, and Ntrld.

Exhale, Fridays Project One Gallery, 251 Rhode Island; (415) 465-2129. 5pm, $5. Happy hour with art, fine food, and music with Vin Sol, King Most, DJ Centipede, and Shane King.

Fat Stack Fridays Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 885-4788. 10pm, free. With rotating DJs Romanowski, B-Love, Tomas, Toph One, and Vinnie Esparza.

Gay Asian Paradise Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, SF; www.eightsf.com. 9pm, $8. Featuring two dance floors playing dance and hip hop, smoking patio, and 2 for 1 drinks before 10pm.

Hellatight Amnesia. 9pm, $5. With DJs Asti Spumante and Vinnie Esparza spinning 80’s, soul, hip hop, and disco.

Hubba Hubba Revue DNA Lounge. 9pm, $10-15. With Meshugga Beach Party and burlesque performances.

Look Out Weekend Bambuddha Lounge. 4pm, free. Drink specials, food menu and resident DJs White Girl Lust, Swayzee, Philie Ocean, and more.

Loose Stud. 10pm-3am, $5. DJs Domino and Six spin electro and indie, with vintage porn visual projections to get you in the mood.

M4M Fridays Underground SF. 10pm-2am. Joshua J and Frankie Sharp host this man-tastic party.

Punk Rock and Shlock Karaoke Annie’s Social Club. 9pm-2am, $5. Eileen and Jody bring you songs from multiple genres to butcher: punk, new wave, alternative, classic rock, and more.

SATURDAY 19

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Armada, Narwhal Brigade, Midnight Sun Hotel Utah. 9pm, $8.

Elvin Bishop Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $35.

Corruptors, Spittin Cobras, It’s Casual, Euphoric Pork Annie’s Social Club. 9pm, $7.

John Freman Socha Café, 3235 Mission, SF; (415) 643-6848. 8:30pm.

Hepcat, Ron Silva and the Monarchs, DJ Selector Kirk Slim’s. 9pm, $23.

Rickie Lee Jones Fillmore. 9pm, $36.50.

Maniacal Rejects, Bullet 66, United Defiance Thee Parkside. 3pm, free.

Mother Hips, Or the Whale, Dave Gleason and the Golden Cadillacs Great American Music Hall. 8:30pm, $20.

Mushrooms, windy-gap Retox Lounge. 9pm, $7.

"Nat Keefe Concert Carnival" Independent. 9pm, $20-35. With Dave Brogran, Trevor Garrod, Fred Torphy, and more.

"Pirate Cat Radio Holiday Party and Fundraiser" Thee Parkside. 9pm, $8. With Persephone’s Bees, HeWhoCannotBeNamed and the Human Terrorist, Dirty Santas, Phantom Jets, and more.

Stomacher, Mata Leon, Halfway Bottom of the Hill. 10pm, $10.

Swann Danger, Guitar vs. Gravity, 2:Frail Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $7.

Robin Thicke, Ryan Leslie and Laura Izibor Warfield. 8pm, $45.50-62.50.

Turbonegra, Minks, Remones El Rio. 9pm, $7.

Winter Fresh Club Six. 9pm, $10. Live R&B, soul, and hip hop with Sierra Makai, Donte Robinson, Love You Down Band, and more.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Audium 9 1616 Bush, SF; (415) 771-1616. 8:30pm, $15.

"Brian Culbertson’s A Soulful Christmas" Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $35.

Eric Kurtzrock Trio Ana Mandara, Ghirardelli Square, 891 Beach, SF; (415) 771-6800. 8pm, free.

Hiroshima Rrazz Room, Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason, SF; (415) 394-1189. 7 and 9:30pm, $42.50-47.50.

"Jazz Jam Session with Uptime Jazz Group" Mocha 101 Café, 1722 Taraval, SF; (415) 702-9869. 3:30-5:30pm, free.

Lisa Lindsley Shanghai 1930. 7:30pm, free.

Ricardo Scales Top of the Mark. 9pm, $15.

Lavay Smith and Her Red Hot Skillet Lickers Café du Nord. 9pm, $15.

Tin Cup Serenade Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Bob Bradshaw Band Plough and Stars. 9pm.

Halau O Keikiali’I Peña Pachamama, 1630 Powell, SF; (415) 751-6090. 7:30pm, $19.95.

Pulama Hukilau, 5 Masonic, SF; (415) 921-6242. 8pm.

DANCE CLUBS

Bar on Church 9pm. Rotating DJs Foxxee, Joseph Lee, Zhaldee, Mark Andrus, and Niuxx.

Christmas by Okay-Hole Amnesia. 10pm, $4.

Cock Fight Underground SF. 9pm, $6. Locker room antics galore with electro-spinning DJs Earworm and Matt Hite and hostess Hugz Bunny.

Fire Corner Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary; 885-4788. 9:30pm, free. Rare and outrageous ska, rocksteady, and reggae vinyl with Revival Sound System and guests.

HYP Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, SF; www.eightsf.com. 10pm, free. Gay and lesbian hip hop party, featuring DJs spinning the newest in the top 40s hip hop and hyphy.

Saturday Night Live Fat City, 314 11th St; selfmade2c@yahoo.com. 10:30pm.

Saturday Night Soul Party Elbo Room. 10pm, $10. With DJs Lucky, Phengren Oswald, and Paul Paul spinning 60s soul on 45s.

Spirit Fingers Sessions 330 Ritch. 9pm, free. With DJ Morse Code and live guest performances.

Surefire Sound Triple Crown. 10pm, $10. With DJs Vaccine, DJG, and Comma spinning dubstep.

TekAndHaus Anu, 43 6th St., SF; (415) 543-3505. 10pm, free. With DJs Adnan Sharif, Kuze, and Zenith spinning house, techno, and tech house.

Trannyshack DNA Lounge. 10pm, $20. Heklina and Peaches Christ co-host the 11th annual Trannyshack Star Search Competition.

SUNDAY 20

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

"Battle of the Bands" DNA Lounge. 5:30pm, $12. With Dead Immortal, Subtones, Defying Truth, Zutra, and more.

Brian Setzer Orchestra Warfield. 8pm, $55-69.50.

Ben Deignan, Austin Hartley Leonard Grant and Green. 9pm, free.

Molloy Family Album, Devotionals, Passenger and Pilot Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $6.

Papa M, Jason Simon, Brookhaven Café du Nord. 8pm, $12.

Brittany Shane Mojito. 9:30pm, free.

T-Wrex and the Primitive Rhythm Maggie McGarry’s, 1353 Grant, SF; (415) 399-9020. 9pm, free.

Vienna Teng and Alex Wong Independent. 5 and 8pm, $25.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

"Brian Culbertson’s A Soulful Christmas" Yoshi’s San Francisco. 7 and 9pm, $28-35.

Hiroshima Rrazz Room, Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason, SF; (415) 394-1189. 7pm, $42.50-47.50.

Smith Jazz Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 3-5pm, free.

Zanza Trio, Ana Carbatti, Tammy Hall, Michaelle Goerlitz Bliss Bar, 4026 24th St, SF; (415) 826-6200. 4:30pm, $10.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Gabriel and Ari Peña Pachamama, upstairs, 1630 Powell, SF; (415) 751-6090. 7:30pm, $8-10.

Jack Gilder, Kevin Bemhagen, Richard Mandel, and friends Plough and Stars. 9pm.

Poontones Thee Parkside. 4pm, free.

Ramana Viera Peña Pachamama, 1630 Powell, SF; (415) 751-6090. 7pm, $20.

DANCE CLUBS

DiscoFunk Mashups Cat Club. 10pm, free. House and 70’s music.

Dub Mission Elbo Room. 9pm, $6. Dub, roots, and classic dancehall with DJs Sep, Maneesh the Twister, and guess Spliff Skankin’.

Holiday T-Dance Ruby Skye, 420 Mason, SF; www.freshsf.com. 4pm, $25. With DJ and producer Phil B.

Gloss Sundays Trigger, 2344 Market, SF; (415) 551-CLUB. 7pm. With DJ Hawthorne spinning house, funk, soul, retro, and disco.

Honey Soundsystem Paradise Lounge. 8pm-2am. "Dance floor for dancers – sound system for lovers." Got that?

Jock! Lookout, 3600 16th; 431-0306. 3pm, $2. This high-energy party raises money for LGBT sports teams.

Kick It Bar on Church. 9pm. Hip-hop with DJ Zax.

Lowbrow Sunday Delirium. 1pm, free. DJ Roost Uno and guests spinning club hip hop, indie, and top 40s.

Religion Bar on Church. 3pm. With DJ Nikita.

Stag AsiaSF. 6pm, $5. Gay bachelor parties are the target demo of this weekly erotic tea dance.

MONDAY 21

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Jim Campilongo Make-Out Room. 8pm, $15.

Bart Davenport, Persephone’s Bees, Aerosols, Love Dimension, Antonette Groroch Knockout. 9pm.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Nick Culp Socha Café, 3235 Mission, SF; (415) 643-6848. 8:30pm.

"Jazz at the Rrazz" Rrazz Room, Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason, SF; 1-866-468-3399. 8pm, $25. With the Mike Greensill Trio featuring guest Bruce Forman.

Lavay Smith Trio Enrico’s, 504 Broadway, SF; www.enricossf.com. 7pm, free.

Larry Vukovich and the New Blue Balkan Ensemble Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8pm, $16.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Homespun Rowdy Amnesia. 8:30pm, free.

DANCE CLUBS

Black Gold Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary; 885-4788. 10pm-2am, free. Senator Soul spins Detroit soul, Motown, New Orleans R&B, and more — all on 45!

Death Guild DNA Lounge. 9:30pm, $3-5. Gothic, industrial, and synthpop with DJs Decay, Joe Radio, and Melting Girl.

Going Steady Dalva. 10pm, free. DJs Amy and Troy spinning 60’s girl groups, soul, garage, and more.

King of Beats Tunnel Top. 10pm. DJs J-Roca and Kool Karlo spinning reggae, electro, boogie, funk, 90’s hip hop, and more.

Manic Mondays Bar on Church. 9pm. Drink 80-cent cosmos with Djs Mark Andrus and Dangerous Dan.

Monster Show Underground SF. 10pm, $5. Cookie Dough and DJ MC2 make Mondays worth dancing about, with a killer drag show at 11pm.

Network Mondays Azul Lounge, One Tillman Pl; www.inhousetalent.com. 9pm, $5. Hip-hop, R&B, and spoken word open mic, plus featured performers.

Spliff Sessions Tunnel Top. 10pm, free. DJs MAKossa, Kung Fu Chris, and C. Moore spin funk, soul, reggae, hip-hop, and psychedelia on vinyl.

TUESDAY 22

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Bob Hill Band Slim’s. 8pm, $15.

Fat Tuesday Band Biscuits and Blues. 8pm, $15.

Lord Loves a Working Man Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $8.

Zoo, Deeper, Mighty Russian Winter, Jason Mkey Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $6.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Asalto Navideno featuring Saboricua, DJ Sonido Diablo Elbo Room. 9pm, $7.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

"Booglaloo Tuesday" Madrone Art Bar. 9:30pm, $3. With Oscar Myers.

Graham Connah Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.

Dave Parker Quintet Rasselas Jazz. 8pm.

Euliptian Quartet Socha Café, 3235 Mission, SF; (415) 643-6848. 8:30pm.

Gyan Riley Trio Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8pm, $14.

Ricardo Scales Top of the Mark. 6:30pm, $5.

DANCE CLUBS

Alcoholocaust Presents Argus Lounge. 9pm, free. With DJ What’s His Fuck and Yule Be Sorry.

Drunken Monkey Lounge Annie’s Social Club. 9pm, free. Shot specials and punk rock karaoke in the back room.

Eclectic Company Skylark, 9pm, free. DJs Tones and Jaybee spin old school hip hop, bass, dub, glitch, and electro.

La Escuelita Pisco Lounge, 1817 Market, SF; (415) 874-9951. 7pm, free. DJ Juan Data spinning gay-friendly, Latino sing-alongs but no salsa or reggaeton.

Rock Out Karaoke! Amnesia. 7:30pm. With Glenny Kravitz.

Share the Love Trigger, 2344 Market, SF; (415) 551-CLUB. 5pm, free. With DJ Pam Hubbuck spinning house.

Womanizer Bar on Church. 9pm. With DJ Nuxx.

Stage listings

0

Stage listings are compiled by Molly Freedenberg. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com.

THEATER

OPENING

Black Nativity Marines’ Memorial Theatre, 609 Sutter; 474-8800, www.lhtsf.org. $30-$40. Previews Wed/16-Thurs/17. Opens Fri/18. Runs Wed-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 4pm. Through Dec 27. Lorraine Hansberry Theatre presents its award-winning holiday gospel musical.

A Merry FORKING! Christmas Off-Market Theaters, 965 Mission; (800) 838-3006, www.pianofight.com. $20. Opens Thurs/17. Various days and times. Through Jan 2. Playwright Daniel Heath and PianoFight team up again for a fully scripted play in which the audience votes on how the plot will proceed.

Mr. YooWho’s Holiday NOHspace, 2840 Mariposa; 621-7978, theatreofyugen.org. $10-$15. Opens Fri/18. Runs Fri, 8pm; Sat, 3pm; Sun, 3pm; through Jan 3. Moshe Cohen and NOHspace co-present this one-man holiday show that takes the audience on a ride full of wonder and laughter that transcends generational barriers.

Yes Sweet Can Dance Mission Theater, 3316 24th St; 273-4633, sweetcanproductions.com. $15-$20. Opens Fri/18. Days and times vary. Through Jan 3. Sweet Can Productions presents this astonishing 60-minute show featuring acrobatics, aerial work, hula hoops and other combinations of traditional circus and physical theater.


ONGOING

The 39 Steps Curran Theater, 1192 Market; 551-2020, www.shnsf.com. $35-$80. Tues, 8pm; Wed, 2 and 8pm; Thurs, 8pm; Fri-Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 3. The SHN Best of Broadway series kicks off with Alfred Hitchcock’s Tony Award-winning whodunit comedy.

Beautiful Thing New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972. $22-40. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 3. New Conservatory Theatre Center performs Jonathan Harvey’s story of romance between two London teens.

*Better Homes and Ammo (a post apocalyptic suburban tale) EXIT Stage Left, 156 Eddy; www.brownpapertickets.com/event/86070. $15-$19. Thurs/17-Sat/19, 8pm. Toting bible and AK-47, a shlubby but seemingly affable right-wing libertarian (B. Warden Lawlor) has led his nuclear family down into the survival pit beneath his ammo store just in time to escape the nuclear disaster above ground. Months into this millennial camping trip, mom (Molly Benson) dreams of starring in her own vaguely militant cooking show, while restive older brother (James Tinsley) and dippy but nubile little sister (Cassie Powell) turn their own hormonally charged dreams into a budding daytime romance (well, one of them’s adopted anyway). Can the center hold, with mere anarchy loosed above? "Since when," asks mom of her spouse, "have you resorted to lies and manipulation to maintain your authority?" Good question. He’d balk at the comparison—and the French—but basically, L’estat? C’est pah. The loathsome Bush years inspired this first full-length comedy from writer-director Wiley Herman, but its themes of fear mongering as social control, authoritarian excess, apocalyptic doom, and brother-sister whoopee are evergreens. The pacing can flag, the dramatic conventions can feel too familiar, but the writing has merit and a fair amount of laughs, while the cast warm to their parts with conviction and charm. All in all a promising debut from Herman, and if the world doesn’t end first we can expect better ammo down the line. (Avila)

The Bright River Climate Theater, 285 9th St; (800) 838-3006, thebrightriver.com. $15-$25. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Dec 27. Climate presents this mesmerizing hip-hop retelling of Dante’s Inferno by Tim Brarsky.

A Christmas Carol American Conservatory Theater, 415 Geary; 749-2228, www.act-sf.org. $14-$102. Days and times vary. Through Dec 27. A.C.T. presents the sparkling, music-infused celebration of goodwill by Charles Dickens.

Cinderella African American Art and Culture Complex, 762 Fulton; (800) 8383-3006, www.african-americanshakes.org. $20-$30. Days and times vary. Through Dec 27. The African-American Shakespeare Company presents an enchanting production of the classic fairytale, re-set on the bayous of Louisiana.

Cotton Patch Gospel Next Stage, 1620 Gough; (800) 838-3006, www.custommade.org. $10-$28. Thurs/17-Sat/19, 8pm. Custom Made presents Harry Chapin’s progressive and musically joyous look at the Jesus story through a modern lens.

Dames at Sea New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $22-$40. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 17. NCTC presents the Off-Broadway musical hit.

*East 14th Marsh, 1062 Valencia; 1-800-838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $20-35. Fri/18, 9pm; Sat/19, 8:30pm. Don Reed’s solo play, making its local premiere at the Marsh after an acclaimed New York run, is truly a welcome homecoming twice over. It returns the Bay Area native to the place of his vibrant, physically dynamic, consistently hilarious coming-of-age story, set in 1970s Oakland between two poles of East 14th Street’s African American neighborhood: one defined by his mother’s strict ass-whooping home, dominated by his uptight Jehovah’s Witness stepfather; the other by his biological father’s madcap but utterly non-judgmental party house. The latter—shared by two stepbrothers, one a player and the other flamboyantly gay, under a pimped-out, bighearted patriarch whose only rule is "be yourself"—becomes the teenage Reed’s refuge from a boyhood bereft of Christmas and filled with weekend door-to-door proselytizing. Still, much about the facts of life in the ghetto initially eludes the hormonal and naïve young Reed, including his own flamboyant, ever-flush father’s occupation: "I just thought he was really into hats." But dad—along with each of the characters Reed deftly incarnates in this very engaging, loving but never hokey tribute—has something to teach the talented kid whose excellence in speech and writing at school marked him out, correctly, as a future "somebody." (Avila)

Eccentrics of San Francisco’s Barbary Coast: A Magical Escapade San Francisco Magic Parlor, Chancellor Hotel Union Square, 433 Powell; 1-800-838-3006. $30. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Ongoing. This show celebrates real-life characters from San Francisco’s colorful and notorious past.

Fun-derful Holidaze The Marsh, 1062 Valencia; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $7-$12. Sat-Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 3. The Marsh presents Unique Derique in a fun-filled feast of frivolity for all ages.

I SF South of Market home stage, 505 Natoma; (800) 838-3006, www.boxcartheatre.org. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 19. Boxcar Theatre presents an improvised unabashed stage poem to all things San Francisco.

Katya’s Holiday Spectacular New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $22-$32. Days vary, 8pm, through Jan 2. NCTC presents a special winter cabaret starring Katya Smirnoff-Skyy.

Let It Snow! SF Playhouse Stage 2, 533 Sutter; 677-9596, www.sfplayhouse.org. $8-$20. Thurs/17-Fri/18, 8pm; Sat/19, 3 and 8pm. The Un-scripted Theater Company lovingly presents an entirely new musical every night based on audience participation.

The Life of Brian Dark Room Theater, 2263 Mission; 401-7987, darkroomsf.com. $20. Fri/18-Sat/19, 8pm. The Dark Room Theater presents a movie parody turned into a theatrical parody.

Ovo Grand Chapiteau, AT&T Park; (800) 450-1480, www.cirquedusoleil.com. $45.50-$135. Tues-Thurs, 8pm; Fri-Sat, 4 and 8pm; Sun, 1 and 5pm. Through Jan 24. The U.S. premiere of Cirque du Soleil’s latest extravaganza, written and directed by Deborah Colker, dependably sports several fine acts enmeshed in a visually buzzing insect theme. Highlights include a delighting set of juggling ants, twirling huge wedges of kiwi with their synchronized tootsies, very adorable and almost unbelievably deft; a mesmerizing and freely romantic airborne "Spanish Web" duet; and a spider traversing a "slackwire" web with jaw-dropping strength, balance and agility. The whisper-thin plot, thin even by Cirque standards, is nearly summed up in the title (Portuguese for "egg"). A very large "ovo" takes up most of the stage as the audience enters the tent. This is miraculously replaced in a flash by a smaller, though still ample one lugged around by one of three clowns (by the standards of past years, not a very inspired or absorbing bunch these three), and then snatched away amid a throng of insect types. An endoplasmic reticulum, or something, hovers a floor or two high toward the back of the stage, where the live band churns the familiar trans-inducing Euro-beats. The baseline entertainment value is solid, though the usual high jinx and overall charm are at somewhat lower ebb compared with recent years. (Avila)

Pearls Over Shanghai Hypnodrome, 575 Tenth St.; 1-800-838-3006, www.thrillpeddlers.com. $30-69. Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Jan 23. Thrillpeddlers presents this revival of the legendary Cockettes’ 1970 musical extravaganza.

Santaland Diaries Off Market Theater, 965 Mission; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com/event/89315. $25. Mon-Sun, 8 and 10pm. Through Dec 30. Combined Artform and Beck-n-Call present the annual production of David Sedaris’ story, starring John Michael Beck and David Sinaiko.

Shanghai San Francisco One Telegraph Hill; 1-877-384-7843, www.shanghaisanfrancisco.com. $40. Sat, 1pm. Ongoing. To be Shanghaied: "to be kidnapped for compulsory service aboard a ship&ldots;to be induced or compelled to do something, especially by fraud or force". Once the scene of many an "involuntary" job interview, San Francisco’s Barbary Coast is now the staging ground for Shanghai San Francisco, a performance piece slash improv slash scavenger hunt through the still-beating hearts of North Beach and Chinatown, to the edge of the Tendernob. Beginning at the base of Coit Tower, participants meet the first of several characters who set up the action and dispense clues, before sending the audience off on a self-paced jaunt through the aforementioned neighborhoods, induced and compelled (though not by force) to search for a kidnapped member of the revived San Francisco Committee of Vigilance. It’s a fine notion and a fun stroll on a sunny afternoon, but ultimately succeeds far better as a walking tour than as theatre. Because the actors are spread rather thinly on the ground, they’re unable to take better advantage of their superior vantage by stalking groups a little more closely, staging distractions along the way, and generally engaging the audience as such a little more frequently. But since Shanghai San Francisco is a constantly evolving project, maybe next time they’ll do just that. (Gluckstern)

She Stoops to Comedy SF Playhouse, 533 Sutter; 677-9596, www.sfplayhouse.org. $30-$40. Tues, 7pm; Wed-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 3 and 8pm. Through Jan 9. SF Playhouse continues their seventh season with the Bay Area premiere of David Greenspan’s gender-bending romp.

Under the Gypsy Moon Teatro ZinZanni, Pier 29; 438-2668, www.zinzanni.org. $117-$145. Wed-Sat, 6pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 1. Teatro ZinZanni presents a bewitching evening of European cabaret, cirque, theatrical spectacle, and original live music, blended with a five-course gourmet dinner.

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Actors Theatre of SF, 855 Bush; 345-1287, www.actorstheatresf.org. $26-$40. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 23. Before throwing around terms like "dysfunctional, bi-polar, codependent," to describe the human condition became fodder for every talk show host and reality TV star, people with problems were expected to keep them tight to the chest, like war medals, to be brought out in the privacy of the homestead for the occasional airing. For George and Martha, the sort of middle-aged, academically-entrenched couple you might see on any small University campus, personal trauma is much more than a memory—it’s a lifestyle, and their commitment to receiving and inflicting said trauma is unparalleled. The claws-out audacity of mercurial Martha (Rachel Klyce) is superbly balanced by a calmly furious George (Christian Phillips), and their almost vaudevillian energy easily bowls over boy genius Biologist, Nick (Alessandro Garcia) and his gormless, "slim-hipped" wife Honey (Jessica Coghill), who at times exhibit such preternatural stillness they seem very much like the toys their game-playing hosts are using them as to wage their private war of attrition; their nervous reactions, though well-timed, coming off as mechanical in comparison to the practiced ease with which Klyce and Phillips relentlessly tear down the walls of illusion. But thanks to George and Martha’s menacing intensity, and self-immoutf8g love, this Virginia Woolf does not fail to hold the attentions of its audience captive, despite being a grueling (though never tedious) three-and-a-half hours long. (Gluckstern)

Wicked Orpheum Theatre, 1182 Market; 512-7770, www.shnsf.com. $30-$99. Tues, 8pm; Wed, 2pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Ongoing. Assuming you don’t mind the music, which is too TV-theme–sounding in general for me, or the rather gaudy décor, spectacle rules the stage as ever, supported by sharp performances from a winning cast. (Avila)


BAY AREA

Aurelia’s Oratorio Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Roda Theatre, 2015 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, berkeleyrep.org. $33-$71. Tues, Thurs, Fri, and Sat, 8pm; Wed, 7pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Jan 24. It’s such a relief during the Nutcracker-Christmas Memory-Carol-In Wales season to catch a show that creates a wonderland without the winter. Not a beat is lost as Aurélia morphs from bored vamp trapped in a chest of drawers to tempest-tossed refugee on the high seas (and higher rafters) to befuddled homemaker with a penchant for the topsy-turvy, sometimes pursued by the excellent Jaime Martinez, whose knockout, drag-down street brawls with his recalcitrant overcoat are just one example of the physical wit that permeates the piece. Aurélia’s housekeeping skills are another—she happily arranges her flowers upside-down and sprinkles her laundry hung on the line with a big watering can, while outside her window, an upside-down taxi cab awaits her fare. Each minute vignette shines on its own merits—a woman dissolving into sand, a poignant Indonesian-style shadow-puppet encounter behind a curtain of lacy "snow" (ok, they snuck in the winter after all), a musical interlude in a clock shop—tied loosely together by a design heavy on lush red velvet and modestly versatile black-and-white. Aurélia’s Oratorio combines the best of mime, acrobatics, dance, and design, to create a circuitous, circus revel guaranteed to transport and to charm. (Gluckstern)

The Coverlettes Cover Christmas Aurora Theatre, 2081 Addison, Berk; (510) 843-4822, auroratheatre.org. $25-$28. Mon-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Dec 27. Aurora Theatre Company rocks the holiday season in the style of 1960’s girl groups.

The Stone Wife Berkeley City Club, 2315 Durant, Berk; 730-2901. $15-$20. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 6pm. Through Dec 20. The Berkeley City Club presents this award-winning play written and directed by Helen Pau.

*The Threepenny Opera Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby, Berk; www.shotgunplayers.org. $18-$30. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 17. Wednesday performances begin Jan 6. Shotgun Players present Bertolt Brecht’s beggar’s opera.


DANCE

"The Christmas Ballet" Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 700 Howard; 978-2787, www.smuinballet.org. Wed-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Dec 27. $18-$56. Michael Smuin presents an unexpected holiday show featuring dancers in ’50s poodle skirts, feather boas, wide-brimmed hats, and panama suits and music from Mozart to Elvis Presley.

"DANCEfirst!" The Museum of the African Diaspora, 685 Mission; 358-7200, www.seethinkdance.com. Thurs, 6pm. $5-$10. Three local choreographers enlist their favorite house DJs to offer wildly unique perspectives on this rhythmic phenomenon.

"A Queer 20th Anniversary" Locations vary. www.circozero.org. Various days and times, Dec. 9 – Jan. 31. Zero Performance presents a retrospective of two seminal pieces performed by Keith Hennessy and company, including a restaging of Saliva at the original site under a freeway South of Market.

Mark Foehringer Dance Project/SF Zeum Theater, 221 Fourth St; 433-1235, www.tixbayarea.org. Sat-Sun, 11am and 2pm. $25. The dance project presents a unique rendition of The Nutcracker at Zeum, featuring the Magik*Magik Orchestra performing live.

"The Nutcracker" Mercy High School Theater, 3250 19th Ave; 731-2237, www.sanfranciscoyouthballet.org. Sat, 2 and 7pm; Sun, 2pm. $22-$24. San Francisco Youth Ballet Theatre presents its 9th annual production of the holiday classic.

Yaelisa’s Caminos Flamencos Cowell Theatre, Fort Mason; www.caminosflamencos.com. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Check Web for price. This show features Yaelisa’s husband and artistic partner, 10-year-old Roberto Granados, Paco Borrego, Jesus Montoya, and Felix de Lola.


BAY AREA

"The Hard Nut" Zellerbach Hall, UC Berkeley, Berk; cpinfo.berkeley.edu. Days and times vary, through Sun. $36-$62. Mark Morris Dance Group and Berkeley Symphony Orchestra present this retelling of The Nutcracker.


PERFORMANCE

"Amahl and the Night Visitors" Randall Museum, 199 Museum Way; 826-8670. Sun, 3pm. Free. The Ina Chalis Opera Ensemble presents this one-hour Christmas opera by Gian-Carlo Menotti.

"Bijou" Martuni’s, Four Valencia; 241-0205, www.dragatmartunis.com. Sun, 7pm. $5. An eclectic weekly cabaret.

On Broadway Dinner Theater 435 Broadway; 291-0333, www.broadwaystudios.com. Thurs-Sat, 7pm. Ongoing. SF’s most talented singers, artists, and performers combine interactive shows with dining and dessert.

"A Cathedral Christmas" Grace Cathedral, 1100 California; 392-4400, www.cityboxoffice.com. Sat-Sun, 3pm; Mon, 7pm. $15-$50. Celebrate the season with the Choir of Men and boys with orchestra, featuring their signature performances of favorite carols, along with sacred masterpieces and yuletide classics.

"A Chanticleer Christmas" St. Ignatius Church, 650 Parker; 392-4400, www.chanticleer.org. Sat, 8pm. Check Web for ticket prices. The internationally renowned 12-man a cappella singing ensemble returns home with its critically acclaimed holiday concert.

"Electrofunkadelica & the BB Kink Show" Space Gallery, 1141 Polk; www.spacegallerysf.com. Thurs, 8pm. Shaunna Hall presents this live show and art exhibit.

Fauxgirls! Kimo’s Penthouse Lounge, 1351 Polk; 695-1239, www.fauxgirls.com. Sat, 10pm. Free. This revue features San Francisco’s finest female impersonators.

Full Spectrum Improvisation The Marsh, 1062 Valencia; 564-4115, www.themarsh.org. Tues, 7:30pm. $10-$15. Lucky Dog Theatre performs in its ongoing series of spontaneous theatre shows.

"The Greatest Bubble Show on Earth" The Marsh, 1062 Valencia; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $7-$10. Sun, 11am. Through Dec 27. The Marsh Presents Louis Pearl, the Amazing Bubble Man, in this fun show suitable for all ages.

"Handel’s Messiah with American Bach Soloists" Grace Cathedral, 1100 California; 392-4400, www.cityboxoffice.com. Thurs-Fri, 7:30pm. Check Web for ticket prices. ABS conductor Jeffrey Thomas leads America’s best specialists in early music in this special concert.

"Home for the Holidays" First Unitarian Universalist Church, 1187 Franklin. 865-ARTS, www.sfgmc.org. Check Website for ticket info. Wed-Thurs, 7:30pm. Also special show at Castro Theatre on Dec 24. San Franciso Gay Men’s Chorus presents the 20th anniversary of a classic SF tradition.

"A Judy Garland Christmas" Rrazz Room, Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason; (866) 468-3399, www.therrazzroom.com. Tues, 8pm. $30. Connie Champagne brings her remarkable portryal of Judy Garland to the Rrazz Room.

"Monday Night ForePlays" Studio250, Off-Market, 965 Mission; www.pianofight.com. Mon, 8pm. $20. PinaoFight’s female-driven variety show extends into December with new sketches, dance numbers, and musical performances.

"Nocturnal Butterflies" Z Space at Theater Artaud, 450 Florida; (434) 535-2896, www.avykproductions.com. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Check Web for price. Erika Tsimbrovsky/Avy K Productions presents this multimedia dance performance dedicated to Vaslav Nijinsky.

"Old English Christmas Feast" Mark Hopkins Hotel, 999 California; (510) 887-4311, www.ggbc.org. Sun, 4pm. $135. The Golden Gate Boys Choir present their annual fundraiser. (The choir also will perform for free in the hotel lobby on Monday, 11:30am.)

Porchlight Reading Series Verdi Club, 2424 Mariposa. Mon, 8pm. $12. The theme for this month’s installment is "toys," featuring stories by people who’ve played with them, dated them, and been disappointed by them.

"San Francisco Girls Chorus Annual Davies Hall Holiday Concert" Davies Symphony Hall, 201 Van Ness; www.sfgirlschorus.org. Tues, 7:30pm. $22-$58. San Francisco Girls Chorus presents the 27th annual, 300-voice holiday musical extravaganza.

Shadow Circus Creature Theatre Climate Theater, 285 9th St; www.musicboxseries.com. Wed, 8pm. $10-$13. San Francisco’s most belligerent puppetry troupe returns with a cornucopia of holiday mayhem.

"Trannyshack Star Search Competition" DNA Lounge, 375 11th St; www.dnalounge.com. Sat, 10pm. $15-$20. Heklina and Peaches Christ present the 11th annual competition where virgin drag queens compete for a title.

"Veils and Apparitions" The Garage, 975 Howard; 975howard.com. Fri-Sat, 8 and 10pm. $10-$15. Enter a poetic landscape, where boundaries bend between the folds of the human psyche in this evening of new works by a collective of artists.

"Wake the F@#k Up America: Holiday Edition" Herbst Theatre, 401 Van Ness; 392-4400, www.cityboxoffice.com. Fri, 8pm. Call for ticket price. The Kinsey Sicks, America’s favorite dragapella beautyshop quartet, bring their new holiday musical comedy to the Herbst Theatre.


BAY AREA

"The Christmas Revels" Scottis Rite Theater, 1547 Lakeside, Oakl; (510) 452-8800, www.calrevels.org. Fri, 7:30pm; Sat-Sun, 1 and 5pm. $12-$50. Experience the music, dance, and folklore of 19th century Bavaria with this beloved Bay Area holiday tradition.

"Garage Door Nativity" First Congregational Church of Berkeley, 2345 Channing Way, Berk; (510) 848-3696, www.fccb.org. Fri-Sun, 7:30pm. $5-$10. The church presents a poignant, humorous, and unique take on the Christmas narrative told without spoken words.

"Hubba Hubba Revue" Uptown, 1928 Telegraph, Oakl; www.hubbahubbarevue.com. Mon, 10pm. Ongoing. $5. Scantily clad ladies shake their stuff at this weekly burlesque showcase.

"It’s a Wonderful Life" Julia Morgan Center for the Arts, 2640 College Ave, Berk; www.berkeleyplayhouse.org. Tues, 6:30pm. $10-$25. Berkeley Playhouse presents a staged version of the 1946 classic radio play, complete with live sound effects, microphones, and commercial jingles.

"Reality Playings" Temescal Arts Center, 511 48th St, Oakl; (510) 526-7858, www.temescalartscenter.org. Fri, 8pm. Free. Frank Moore will conduct improvised passions of musicians, actors, dancers, and audience members in a laboratory setting.

"Winter Solstice" Studio 12, 2525 Eights St, Berk; www.studio12flys.org. Mon, 7pm. $20-$25. Studio 12 presents musical performance, dance performance, and a winter solstice altar for this celebration of the longest night of the year.


COMEDY

Annie’s Social Club 917 Folsom, SF; www.sfstandup.com. Tues, 6:30pm, ongoing. Free. Comedy Speakeasy is a weekly stand-up comedy show with Jeff Cleary and Chad Lehrman.

"Big City Improv" Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; (510) 595-5597, www.bigcityimprov.com. Fri, 10pm, ongoing. $15-$20. Big City Improv performs comedy in the style of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

Brainwash 1122 Folsom; 861-3663. Thurs, 7pm, ongoing. Free. Tony Sparks hosts San Francisco’s longest running comedy open mike.

Club Deluxe 1511 Haight; 552-6949, www.clubdeluxesf.com. Mon, 9pm, ongoing. Free. Various local favorites perform at this weekly show.

Clubhouse 414 Mason; www.clubhousecomedy.com. Prices vary. Scantily Clad Comedy Fri, 9pm. Stand-up Project’s Pro Workout Sat, 7pm. Naked Comedy Sat, 9pm. Frisco Improv Show and Jam Sun, 7pm. Ongoing.

Cobbs 915 Columbus; 928-4320.

"Comedy Master Series" Blue Macaw, 2565 Mission; www.comedymasterseries.com. Mon, 6pm. Ongoing. $20. The new improv comedy workshop includes training by Debi Durst, Michael Bossier, and John Elk.

"Comedy on the Square" SF Playhouse, 533 Sutter; 646-0776, www.comedyonthesquare.com. Sun, 8:30pm, through Dec. Tony Sparks and Frisco Fred host this weekly stand-up comedy showcase.

"Comedy Returns" El Rio, 3158 Mission; www.koshercomedy.com. Mon, 8pm. $7-$20. Comedian/comedy producer Lisa Geduldig presents this weekly multicultural, multi-everything comedy show.

Danny Dechi & Friends Rockit Room, 406 Clement; 387-6343. Tues, 8pm. Ongoing. Free.

"Improv Society" Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; www.improvsociety.com. Sat, 10pm, ongoing, $15. Improv Society presents comic and musical theater.

Punch Line San Francisco 444 Battery; www.punchlinecomedyclub.com. Check Website for times and prices.
Purple Onion 140 Columbus; 1-800-838-3006, www.purpleonionlive.com. Call for days and times.
Rrazz Room Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason; (866) 468-3399, www.therrazzroom.com.
"Raw Stand-up Project" SFCC, 414 Mason, Fifth Flr; www.sfcomedycollege.com. Sat, 7pm, ongoing.
BAY AREA
"Comedy Off Broadway Oakland" Washington Inn, 495 10th St, Oakl; (510) 452-1776, www.comedyoffbroadwayoakland.com. Fri, 9pm. Ongoing. $8-$10. Comedians featured on Comedy Central, HBO, BET, and more perform every week.

Film listings

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Film listings are edited by Cheryl Eddy. Reviewers are Kimberly Chun, Michelle Devereaux, Max Goldberg, Dennis Harvey, Johnny Ray Huston, Louis Peitzman, Lynn Rapoport, Ben Richardson, Matt Sussman, and Laura Swanbeck. The film intern is Fernando F. Croce. For rep house showtimes, see Rep Clock. For first-run showtimes, see Movie Guide.

OPENING

Avatar Special effects master and woeful screenplay-penner James Cameron returns, for better and worse. (2:42)

Broken Embraces Pedro Almodóvar has always dabbled in the Hitchcockian tropes of uxoricide, betrayal, and double-identity, but with Broken Embraces he has attained a polyglot, if slightly mimicking, fluency with the language of Hollywood noir. A story within a story and a movie within a movie, Embraces begins in the present day with middle-aged Catalan Harry Caine (Lluís Homar), a blind screenwriter who takes time between his successful writing career to seduce and bed young women sympathetic to his disability. "Everything’s already happened to me," he explains to his manager, Judit (Blanca Portillo). "All that’s left is to enjoy life." But this life of empty pleasures is brought to a sudden halt when local business magnate Ernesto Martel (José Luis Gómez) has died; soon after, Ernesto Jr. (Rubén Ochandiano), who has renamed himself Ray X, visits Caine with an unusual request. The action retreats 14 years when Caine was a young (and visually abled) director named Mateo Blanco; he encounters a breathtaking femme fatale, Lena (Penelope Cruz) — an actress-turned-prostitute named Severine, turned secretary-turned-trophy wife of Ernesto Martel — when she appears to audition for his latest movie. If all of the narrative intricacies and multiplicitous identities in Broken Embraces appear a bit intimidating at first glance, it is because this is the cinema of Almodóvar taken to a kind of generic extreme. As with all of the director’s post-’00 films, which are often referred to as Almodóvar’s "mature" pictures, there is a microscopic attention to narrative development combined with a frenzied sub-plotting of nearly soap-operatic proportions. But, in Embraces, formalism attains such prominence that one might speculate the director is simply going through the motions. The effect is a purposely loquacious and overly-dramatized performance that pleasures itself as much by setting up the plot as unraveling it. For the complete version of this review, visit www.sfbg.com. (2:08) Clay. (Erik Morse)

Did You Hear About the Morgans? A married couple (Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker) move from Manhattan to a small town after witnessing a murder. (1:48)

In Search of Beethoven After the success of his In Search of Mozart, director Phil Grabsky applies his truth-seeking documentary template to Ludwig van Beethoven, a composer so genius he continued creating (and to a lesser extent, performing) even as he succumbed to deafness. Still photos, paintings, interviews with historians and musicologists, and visits to actual Beethoven haunts, along with dramatic readings of the maestro’s letters (by actor David Dawson) and stern narration (by actor Juliet Stevenson, who also loaned her pipes to Mozart), flesh out this biographical portrait. But its most stirring moments come courtesy of its musical performances (by seasoned professionals) of Moonlight Sonata and other notable works. As the doc proves, there’s no better insight into Beethoven’s tumultuous, sometimes tortured life than the notes he left behind. (2:18) Roxie. (Eddy)

*35 Shots of Rum Claire Denis’s portrait in domesticity is so patiently timed and achingly photographed (by her longtime cinematographer Agnès Godard) that your own life routines are liable to seem freshly poetic in its afterglow. We begin with familiar images of transitory longing: trains switching tracks, keeping time. A man smokes a cigarette at dusk, its embers warming his dark skin. He is Lionel (Alex Descas), a Metro operator who lives simply in a boxy apartment building in the outer rings of Paris. He returns home from work with a rice cooker for his twentysomething daughter, Josephine (Mati Diop), though Denis allows their relationship to remain unclear for a while (she is remarkably free when it comes to exposition). Coincidentally, serious Jo has bought herself a cooker on the same day. There’s a whole untold story about the rice cooker, but Denis is content watching them appreciatively spoon out the first batch in their pajamas. The attention to generations, meals, the trains and the small comic gestures (a well-timed fart, an awry romantic moment in the Seine) all suggest Ozu, but the elliptical rhythms and sensual apprehension of bodies is pure Denis. She once did a documentary about a choreographer (2005’s Towards Mathilde), and she approaches everyday life as a kind of dance. Lionel and Jo’s relationship is unlike almost any other father-daughter dynamic in recent movie memory — nonverbal, but clearly loving. If the other characters are kept at arm’s length, that’s because Lionel and Jo keep their safe haven so closely guarded. Things begin to unspool, as they must, in a memorable restaurant dance sequence that makes exquisite use of the Commodores’ 1985 platter, "Nightshift." (1:39) (Goldberg)

The Young Victoria Those who envision the Victorian Age as one of restraint and repression will likely be surprised by The Young Victoria, which places a vibrant Emily Blunt in the title role. Her Queen Victoria is headstrong and romantic — driven not only by her desire to stand tall against the men who would control her, but also by her love for the dashing Prince Albert (Rupert Friend). To be honest, the story itself is nothing spectacular, even for those who have imagined a different portrait of the queen. But The Young Victoria is still a spectacle to behold: the opulent palaces, the stunning gowns, and the flawless Blunt going regal. Her performance is rich and nuanced — and her chemistry with Prince Albert makes the film. No, it doesn’t leave quite the impression that 1998’s Elizabeth did, but it’s a memorable costume drama and romance, worthy of at least a moderate reign in theaters. (1:40) Embarcadero. (Peitzman)

ONGOING

Armored (1:28) 1000 Van Ness.

The Blind Side When the New York Times Magazine published Michael Lewis’ article "The Ballad of Big Mike" — which he expanded into the 2006 book The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game —nobody could have predicated the cultural windfall it would spawn. Lewis told the incredible story of Michael Oher — a 6’4, 350-pound 16-year-old, who grew up functionally parentless, splitting time between friends’ couches and the streets of one of Memphis’ poorest neighborhoods. As a sophomore with a 0.4 GPA, Oher serendipitously hitched a ride with a friend’s father to a ritzy private school across town and embarked on an unbelievable journey that led him into a upper-class, white family; the Dean’s List at Ole Miss; and, finally, the NFL. The film itself effectively focuses on Oher’s indomitable spirit and big heart, and the fearless devotion of Leigh Anne Tuohy, the matriarch of the family who adopted him (masterfully played by Sandra Bullock). While the movie will delight and touch moviegoers, its greatest success is that it will likely spur its viewers on to read Lewis’ brilliant book. (2:06) 1000 Van Ness. (Daniel Alvarez)

Brothers There’s nothing particularly original about Brothers — first, because it’s based on a Danish film of the same name, and second, because sibling rivalry is one of the oldest stories in the book. The story is fairly straightforward: good brother (Tobey Maguire) goes AWOL in Afghanistan, bad brother (Jake Gyllenhaal) comforts his sister-in law (Natalie Portman), attraction develops, but then — and here’s where things get awkward — good brother comes home. Throughout much of Brothers, the script is surprisingly restrained, holding the film back from Movie of the Week territory. Those moments of subtlety are the movie’s strongest, but by the end they’ve given way to giant, maudlin explosions of angst, which aren’t nearly as impressive. Still, the acting is consistently strong. Maguire is especially good as Captain Sam Cahill in a performance that runs the gamut from doting father to terrifyingly unbalanced. It’s unfortunate that the quiet scenes, in which all the actors excel, are overshadowed by the big, plate-smashing ones. (1:50) 1000 Van Ness, Sundance Kabuki. (Peitzman)

Christmas with Walt Disney Specially made for the Presidio’s recently opened Walt Disney Family Museum, this nearly hour-long compilation of vintage Yuletide-themed moments from throughout the studio’s history (up to Walt’s 1966 death) is more interesting than you might expect. The engine is eldest daughter Diane Disney Miller’s narrating reminiscences, often accompanied by excerpts from an apparently voluminous library of high-quality home movies. Otherwise, the clips are drawn from a mix of short and full-length animations, live-action features (like 1960’s Swiss Family Robinson), TV shows Wonderful World of Disney and Mickey Mouse Club, plus public events like Disneyland’s annual Christmas Parade and Disney’s orchestration of the 1960 Winter Olympics’ pageantry. If anything, this documentary is a little too rushed –- it certainly could have idled a little longer with some of the less familiar cartoon material. But especially for those who who grew up with Disney product only in its post-founder era, it will be striking to realize what a large figure Walt himself once cut in American culture, not just as a brand but as an on-screen personality. The film screens Nov 27-Jan 2; for additional information, visit http://disney.go.com/disneyatoz/familymuseum/index.html. (:59) Walt Disney Family Museum. (Harvey)

Disney’s A Christmas Carol (1:36) 1000 Van Ness.

*An Education The pursuit of knowledge — both carnal and cultural — are at the tender core of this end-of-innocence valentine by Danish filmmaker Lone Scherfig (who first made her well-tempered voice heard with her 2000 Dogme entry, Italian for Beginners), based on journalist Lynn Barber’s memoir. Screenwriter Nick Hornby breaks further with his Peter Pan protagonists with this adaptation: no man-boy mopers or misfits here. Rather, 16-year-old schoolgirl Jenny (Carey Mulligan) is a good girl and ace student. It’s 1961, and England is only starting to stir from its somber, all-too-sober post-war slumber. The carefully cloistered Jenny is on track for Oxford, though swinging London and its high-style freedoms beckon just around the corner. Ushering in those freedoms — a new, more class-free world disorder — is the charming David (Peter Sarsgaard), stopping to give Jenny and her cello a ride in the rain and soon proffering concerts and late-night suppers in the city. He’s a sweet-faced, feline outsider: cultured, Jewish, and given to playing fast and loose in the margins of society. David can see Jenny for the gem she is and appreciate her innocence with the knowing pleasure of a decadent playing all the angles. The stakes are believably high, thanks to An Education‘s careful attention to time and place and its gently glamored performances. Scherfig revels in the smart, easy-on-eye curb appeal of David and his friends while giving a nod to the college-educated empowerment Jenny risks by skipping class to jet to Paris. And Mulligan lends it all credence by letting all those seduced, abandoned, conflicted, rebellious feelings flicker unbridled across her face. (1:35) (Chun)

Everybody’s Fine Robert De Niro works somewhere between serious De Niro and funny De Niro in this portrait of a family in muffled crisis, a remake of the 1991 Italian film Stanno Tutti Bene. The American version tracks the comings and goings of Frank (De Niro), a recently widowed retiree who fills his solitary hours working in the garden and talking to strangers about his children, who’ve flung themselves across the country in pursuit of various dreams and now send home overpolished reports of their achievements. Disappointed by his offspring’s collective failure to show up for a family get-together, he embarks on a cross-country odyssey to connect with each in turn. Writer-director Kirk Jones (1998’s Waking Ned Devine) effectively underscores Frank’s loneliness with shots of him steering his cart through empty grocery stores, interacting only with the occasional stock clerk, and De Niro projects a sense of drifting disconnection with poignant restraint. But Jones also litters the film with a string of uninspired, autopilot comic moments, and manifold shots of telephone wires as Frank’s children (Kate Beckinsale, Drew Barrymore, and Sam Rockwell) whisper across the miles behind their father’s back — his former vocation, manufacturing the telephone wires’ plastic coating, funded his kids’ more-ambitious aims — feel like glancing blows to the head. A vaguely miraculous third-act exposition of everything they’ve been withholding to protect both him and themselves is handled with equal subtlety and the help of gratingly precocious child actors. (1:35) 1000 Van Ness. (Rapoport)

*Fantastic Mr. Fox A lot of people have been busting filmmaker Wes Anderson’s proverbial chops lately, lambasting him for recent cinematic self-indulgences hewing dangerously close to self-parody (and in the case of 2007’s Darjeeling Limited, I’m one of them). Maybe he’s been listening. Either way, his new animated film, Fantastic Mr. Fox, should keep the naysayer wolves at bay for a while — it’s nothing short of a rollicking, deadpan-hilarious case study in artistic renewal. A kind of man-imal inversion of Anderson’s other heist movie, his debut feature Bottle Rocket (1996), his latest revels in ramshackle spontaneity and childlike charm without sacrificing his adult preoccupations. Based on Roald Dahl’s beloved 1970 book, Mr. Fox captures the essence of the source material but is still full of Anderson trademarks: meticulously staged mise en scène, bisected dollhouse-like sets, eccentric dysfunctional families coming to grips with their talent and success (or lack thereof).(1:27) Empire, 1000 Van Ness, SF Center, Sundance Kabuki. (Devereaux)

Invictus Elected President of South Africa in 1995 — just five years after his release from nearly three decades’ imprisonment — Nelson Mandela (Morgan Freeman) perceives a chance to forward his message of reconciliation and forgiveness by throwing support behind the low-ranked national rugby team. Trouble is, the Springboks are currently low-ranked, with the World Cup a very faint hope just one year away. Not to mention the fact that despite having one black member, they represent the all-too-recent Apartheid past for the country’s non-white majority. Based on John Carlin’s nonfiction tome, this latest Oscar bait by the indefatigable Clint Eastwood sports his usual plusses and minuses: An impressive scale, solid performances (Matt Damon co-stars as the team’s Afrikaaner captain), deft handling of subplots, and solid craftsmanship on the one hand. A certain dull literal-minded earnestness, lack of style and excitement on the other. Anthony Peckham’s screenplay hits the requisite inspirational notes (sometimes pretty bluntly), but even in the attenuated finals match, Eastwood’s direction is steady as she goes — no peaks, no valleys, no faults but not much inspiration, either. It doesn’t help that Kyle Eastwood and Michael Stevens contribute a score that’s as rousing as a warm milk bath. This is an entertaining history lesson, but it should have been an exhilarating one. (2:14) 1000 Van Ness, SF Center, Sundance Kabuki. (Harvey)

Me and Orson Welles It’s 1937, and New York City, like the rest of the nation, presumably remains in the grip of the Great Depression. That trifling historical detail, however, is upstaged in Richard Linklater’s Me and Orson Welles (adapted from the novel by Robert Kaplow) by the doings at the newly founded Mercury Theatre. There, in the equally tight grip of actor, director, and company cofounder Orson Welles — who makes more pointed use of the historical present, of Italian fascism — a groundbreaking production of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar hovers on the brink of premiere and possible disaster. Luckily for swaggering young aspirant Richard (High School Musical series star Zac Efron), Welles (Christian McKay), already infamously tyrannical at 22, is not a man to shrink from firing an actor a week before opening night and replacing him with a 17-year-old kid from New Jersey. Finding himself working in perilous proximity to the master, his unharnessed ego, and his winsome, dishearteningly pragmatic assistant, Sonja (Claire Danes), our callow hero is destined, predictably, to be handed some valuable life experience. McKay makes a credible, enjoyable Welles, presented as the kind of engaging sociopath who handles people like props and hails ambulances like taxicabs. Efron projects a shallow interior life, an instinct for survival, and the charm of someone who has had charming lines written for him. Still, he and Welles and the rest are all in service to the play, and so is the film, which offers an absorbing account of the company’s final days of rehearsal. (1:54) Shattuck. (Rapoport)

Ninja Assassin Let’s face it: it’d be nigh impossible to live up to a title as awesome as Ninja Assassin –- and this second flick from V for Vendetta (2005) director James McTeigue doesn’t quite do it. Anyone who’s seen a martial arts movie will find the tale of hero Raizo overly familiar: a student (played by the single-named Rain) breaks violently with his teacher; revenge on both sides ensues. That the art form in question is contemporary ninja-ing adds a certain amount of interest, though after a killer ninja vs. yakuza opening scene (by far the film’s best), and a flashback or two of ninja vs. political targets, the rest of the flick is concerned mostly with either ninja vs. ninja or ninja vs. military guys. (As ninjas come "from the shadows," most of these battles are presented in action-masking darkness.) There’s also an American forensic researcher (Noemie Harris) who starts poking around the ninja underground, a subplot that further saps the fun out of a movie that already takes itself way too seriously. (1:33) 1000 Van Ness. (Eddy)

Pirate Radio I wanted to like Pirate Radio, a.k.a., The Boat That Rocked –- really, I did. The raging, stormy sounds of the British Invasion –- sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll, and all that rot. Pirate radio outlaw sexiness, writ large, influential, and mind-blowingly popular. This shaggy-dog of a comedy about the boat-bound, rollicking Radio Rock is based loosely on the history of Radio Caroline, which blasted transgressive rock ‘n’ roll (back when it was still subversive) and got around stuffy BBC dominance by broadcasting from a ship off British waters. Alas, despite the music and the attempts by filmmaker Richard Curtis to inject life, laughs, and girls into the mix (by way of increasingly absurd scenes of imagined listeners creaming themselves over Radio Rock’s programming), Pirate Radio will be a major disappointment for smart music fans in search of period accuracy (are we in the mid- or late ’60s or early or mid-’70s –- tough to tell judging from the time-traveling getups on the DJs, played by Philip Seymour Hoffman and Rhys Darby, among others?) and lame writing that fails to rise above the paint-by-the-numbers narrative buttressing, irksome literalness (yes, a betrayal by a lass named Marianne is followed by "So Long, Marianne"), and easy sexist jabs at all those slutty birds. Still, there’s a reason why so many artists –- from Leonard Cohen to the Stones –- have lent their songs to this shaky project, and though it never quite gets its sea legs, Pirate Radio has its heart in the right place –- it just lost its brains somewhere along the way down to its crotch. (2:00) 1000 Van Ness. (Chun)

Planet 51 (1:31) 1000 Van Ness.

*Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire This gut-wrenching, little-engine-that-could of a film shows the struggles of Precious, an overweight, illiterate 16-year-old girl from Harlem. Newcomer Gabourey Sidibe is so believably vigilant (she was only 15 at the time of filming) that her performance alone could bring together the art-house viewers as well as take the Oscars by storm. But people need to actually go and experience this film. While Precious did win Sundance’s Grand Jury and Audience Award awards this year, there is a sad possibility that filmgoers will follow the current trend of "discussing" films that they’ve actually never seen. The daring casting choices of comedian Mo’Nique (as Precious’ all-too-realistically abusive mother) and Mariah Carey (brilliantly understated as an undaunted and dedicated social counselor) are attempts to attract a wider audience, but cynics can hurdle just about anything these days. What’s most significant about this Dancer in the Dark-esque chronicle is how Damien Paul’s screenplay and director Lee Daniels have taken their time to confront the most difficult moments in Precious’ story –- and if that sounds heavy-handed, so be it. Stop blahging for a moment and let this movie move you. (1:49) SF Center, Sundance Kabuki. (Jesse Hawthorne Ficks)

*The Princess and the Frog Expectations run high for The Princess and the Frog: it’s the first Disney film to feature an African American princess, the first 2D Disney cartoon since the regrettable Home on the Range (2004), and the latest entry from the writing-directing team responsible for The Little Mermaid (1989) and Aladdin (1992). Here’s the real surprise — The Princess and the Frog not only meets those expectations, it exceeds them. After years of disappointment, many of us have given up hope on another classic entry into the Disney 2D animation canon. And yet, The Princess and the Frog is up there with the greats, full of catchy songs, gorgeous animation, and memorable characters. Set in New Orleans, the story is a take off on the Frog Prince fairy tale. Here, the voodoo-cursed Prince Naveen kisses waitress Tiana instead — transferring his froggy plight to her as well. A fun twist, and a positive message: wishing is great, but it takes hard work to make your dreams come true. For those of us raised on classic Disney, The Princess and the Frog is almost too good to believe. (1:37) 1000 Van Ness. (Peitzman)

*The Private Lives of Pippa Lee Rebecca Miller’s latest is that seldom-produced thing, the female midlife crisis movie. Daughter to playwright Arthur Miller, a titan of Big Theme manly guilts, her projects are indie-scaled, about troubled domestic minutae, with whimsical twists of fate that methodical realist Arthur would never have countenanced. She’s been consistently interesting since 1995’s striking Angela — first among many narratives from the viewpoint of a child struggling in the shadow of an overwhelming and/or unstable parent. In Private Lives, Pippa (Robin Wright Penn) has her own monstrous parental past. Like many people hailing from chaos, Pippa has turned self-conscious model citizen. In drifting early adulthood, she glommed onto the first man who respected her mind — or did he just recognize a rudderless, much younger woman susceptible to flattery? Ever since she’s been ideal consort to newly retired publisher Herb (Alan Arkin), as well as doting mother to their variably grateful children. Barely 40 and living in an old folks’ village, Pippa is starting to think her life a tad ridiculous. Such nagging but inchoate doubt is underlined by the return of a widow neighbor’s shaggy, somewhat surly son (Keanu Reeves) to Chez Mom after his latest failure at adulthood. Opposites attract, though it’s more complicated than that. Miller’s cluttered canvas also makes room for teensy-to-major characters played by Shirley Knight, Blake Lively, Robin Weigert, Julianne Moore, and Monica Bellucci. As is her wont, she piles on both invigorating insights and a few too many whiplash narrative left turns. But The Private Lives of Pippa Lee has charm and idiosyncrasy to spare. (1:40) Smith Rafael. (Harvey)

A Single Man In this adaptation of Christopher Isherwood’s 1964 novel, Colin Firth plays George, a middle-aged gay expat Brit and college professor in 1962 Los Angeles. Months after the accidental death of Jim (Matthew Goode), his lover for 16 years, George still feels worse than bereft; simply waking each morning is agony. So on this particular day he has decided to end it all, first going through a series of meticulous preparations and discreet leave-takings that include teaching one last class and having supper with the onetime paramour (Julianne Moore) turned best friend who’s still stuck on him. The main problem with fashion designer turned film director Tom Ford’s first feature is that he directs it like a fashion designer, fussing over surface style and irrelevant detail in a story whose tight focus on one hard, real-world thing–grief–cries for simplicity. Not pretentious overpackaging, which encompasses the way his camera slavers over the excessively pretty likes of Nicholas Hoult as a student and Jon Kortajarena as a hustler, as if they were models selling product rather than characters, or even actors. (In fact Kortajarena is a male supermodel; the shocker is that Hoult is not, though Hugh Grant’s erstwhile About a Boy co-star is so preening here you’d never guess.) Eventually Ford stops showing off so much, and A Single Man is effective to the precise degree it lets good work by Goode, Moore and especially the reliably excellent Firth unfold without too much of his terribly artistic interference. (1:39) Sundance Kabuki. (Harvey)

2012 I don’t need to give you reasons to see this movie. You don’t care about the clumsy, hastily dished-out pseudo scientific hoo-ha that explains this whole mess. You don’t care about John Cusack or Woody Harrelson or whoever else signed on for this embarrassing notch in their IMDB entry. You don’t care about Mayan mysteries, how hard it is for single dads, and that Danny Glover and Chiwetel Ejiofor jointly stand in for Obama (always so on the zeitgeist, that Roland Emmerich). You already know what you’re in store for: the most jaw-dropping depictions of humankind’s near-complete destruction that director Emmerich –- who has a flair for such things –- has ever come up with. All the time, creative energy, and money James Cameron has spent perfecting the CGI pores of his characters in Avatar is so much hokum compared to what Emmerich and his Spartan army of computer animators dish out: the U.S.S. John F. Kennedy emerging through a cloud of toxic dust like some Mary Celeste of the military-industrial complex, born aloft on a massive tidal wave that pulverizes the White House; the dome of St. Paul’s flattening the opium-doped masses like a steamroller; Hawaii returned to its original volcanic state; and oodles more scenes in which we are allowed to register terror, but not horror, at the gorgeous destruction that is unfurled before us as the world ends (again) but no one really dies. Get this man a bigger budget. (2:40) 1000 Van Ness. (Sussman)

The Twilight Saga: New Moon Oh my God, you guys, it’s that time of the year: another Twilight chapter hits theaters. New Moon reunites useless cipher Bella (Kristen Steward) and Edward (Robert Pattinson), everyone’s favorite sparkly creature of darkness. Because this is a teen wangstfest, the course of true love is kind of bumpy. This time around, there’s a heavy Romeo and Juliet subplot and some interference from perpetually shirtless werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner). Chances are you know this already, as you’ve either devoured Stephenie Meyer’s book series or you were one of the record-breaking numbers in attendance for the film’s opening weekend. And for those non-Twilight fanatics — is there any reason to see New Moon? Yes and no. Like the 2008’s Twilight, New Moon is reasonably entertaining, with plenty of underage sexual tension, supernatural slugfests, and laughable line readings. But there’s something off this time around: New Moon is fun but flat. For diehard fans, it’s another excuse to shriek at the screen. For anyone else, it’s a soulless diversion. (2:10) Empire, 1000 Van Ness, SF Center, Sundance Kabuki. (Peitzman)

Up in the Air After all the soldiers’ stories and the cannibalism canards of late, Up in the Air‘s focus on a corporate ax-man — an everyday everyman sniper in full-throttle downsizing mode — is more than timely; it’s downright eerie. But George Clooney does his best to inject likeable, if not quite soulful, humanity into Ryan Bingham, an all-pro mileage collector who prides himself in laying off employees en masse with as few tears, tantrums, and murder-suicide rages as possible. This terminator’s smooth ride from airport terminal to terminal is interrupted not only by a possible soul mate, fellow smoothie and corporate traveler Alex (Vera Farmiga), but a young tech-savvy upstart, Natalie (Anna Kendrick), who threatens to take the process to new reductionist lows (layoff via Web cam) and downsize Ryan along the way. With Up in the Air, director Jason Reitman, who oversaw Thank You for Smoking (2005) as well as Juno (2007), is threatening to become the bard of office parks, Casual Fridays, khaki-clad happy hours, and fly-over zones. But Up in the Air is no Death of a Salesman, and despite some memorable moments that capture the pain of downsizing and the flatness of real life, instances of snappily screwball dialogue, and some more than solid performances by all (and in particular, Kendrick), he never manages to quite sell us on the existence of Ryan’s soul. (1:49) SF Center. (Chun)

Can progressives counter a re-energized Newsom?

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By Steven T. Jones

Since my Dec. 4 blog post about Mayor Gavin Newsom reengaging with San Francisco, there have been more signs that he’s back and trying to take control of the city’s agenda. While that may be preferable to an absentee mayor, it’s probably not good news for the progressives, who have nominal control over the Board of Supervisors but seem to be having a hard time putting together effective political plays.

Newsom dropped in on the San Francisco Chronicle’s editorial board yesterday and was rewarded with a splashy lead story about how he and Sup. Sean Elsbernd are proposing a charter amendment to reform the city’s pension system. Apparently, the mayor has dropped his petulant approach to the media and is now using the Chron to proactively build public support for a proposal that most City Hall players hadn’t even heard of yet.

Newsom’s recent choice of Tony Winnicker for a new press secretary – a figure far less caustic and divisive than his two predecessors – also probably signals the mayor’s intent to try to play offense for awhile and chip away at the progressive block. Newsom yesterday announced a new sustainable energy financing program for building owners in the city, which he’s pushing in partnership with Sup. Eric Mar – a progressive who was the swing vote earlier this year for approving a controversial solar project favored by the mayor.

None of this bodes well for the progressive movement in San Francisco.

Coastal Commission denies enviros’ request to yank desalination plant permit

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By Rebecca Bowe

A coalition of environmental organizations argued yesterday that a permit issued to Poseidon Resources to build a massive desalination plant near San Diego should be revoked, because the company failed to provide complete information to California Coastal Commission staff.

At a CCC meeting held in the San Francisco Board of Supervisors Chambers in City Hall yesterday, commissioners listened as advocates from the Surfrider Foundation, San Diego Coastkeeper, and the Coastal Environmental Rights Foundation, who filed the request for permit revocation, argued that Poseidon purposely tried to mislead CCC staff by submitting incomplete and inaccurate information about technical aspects of its desalination facility.

The CCC granted Poseidon its permit in November of 2007. The 50 million gallon-per- day facility, which is under construction, has drawn sharp criticism statewide from labor and environment groups who argue that the expensive, highly energy intensive plant would contribute to higher greenhouse gas emissions and do nothing to encourage water-conservation efforts. Concerns have also been raised about the harm it could do to the marine ecosystem and the high price tag for tap water cycled first through a power-plant cooling system, and then through the desalination process.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger supports the construction of the facility as a reliable water source for arid Southern California, and his representatives were in attendance at yesterday’s meeting. Last month, the Metropolitan Water District agreed to subsidize costs for the privately owned and operated plant, and Poseidon will go before the state’s Debt Limit Allocation Committee (which consists of Schwarzenegger, the state controller, and the state treasurer) to request tax-exempt bond status in mid-January.

San Francisco Sup. Ross Mirkarimi, who sits on the Coastal Commission, argued in favor of pulling the permit, saying it represented “a proper juncture for us to revisit the issue” and warned that the highly controversial project might be “rife with procedural and structural errors.”

LAFCo: “PG&E’s claims have no basis in fact or reality”

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By Rebecca Bowe

The SF Weekly once made up a story on its Snitch blog about how LAFCo is the Guardian’s imaginary friend (this was back before they had imaginary delivery vehicles). So it’s kind of ironic that LAFCo should be the one to respond to an attack mailer paid for by Pacific Gas & Electric Co. which has quotes from an SF Weekly story splashed all over it.

The PG&E-funded mailer even borrows from the language of that Weekly article, calling CCA a “scheme” after the title of the piece, “Green Scheme,” and telling voters that the program will be implemented “whether you like it or not,” which sounds a lot like a line from the Weekly article, which says, “like it or not, you’re already signed up.” Given all this striking similarity, it’s almost like the Weekly is PG&E’s very own imaginary friend.

LAFCo is the Local Agency Formation Commission, the driver behind San Francisco’s Community Choice Aggregation program, which a “coalition” financed by PG&E attempted to shoot full of holes in a smear campaign we told you about yesterday.

LAFCo’s response to PG&E’s mailer is posted below.

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PG&E Continues Campaign against San Francisco’s Clean Energy Program

Latest Salvo from PG&E is riddled with False Assumptions and Deceptive Marketing

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – On December 9, 2009, San Francisco businesses received a direct mail piece from the “Common Sense Coalition.” In it, the alleged “Coalition” critiques the City’s Community Choice Aggregation plan to provide cleaner, more renewable energy to its residents and businesses through a newly proposed clean energy program to the businesses and residents of San Francisco. Financed by Pacific Gas and Electric Company (PG&E), the mailer makes several specious economic claims sourced from outdated documents, including a 2007 City Controller’s report. However, that very same report states that the program “has not yet advanced to the stage where any definitive economic impact statement can be made. A detailed economic impact assessment will not be possible until the RFP process is complete.”

The City just issued its own comprehensive and through RFP four weeks ago and responses are due on December 29th. There is no set contract with an energy service provider and more importantly, no structured, long-term rate plan has been formulated. Consequently, PG&E’s claims have no basis in fact or reality.

That’s funny, they didn’t mention climate change

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By Rebecca Bowe

“The war with PG&E over clean energy is now fully on folks.”

That’s what local public power activist Eric Brooks had to say in a widely distributed email to alert green-power advocates that Pacific Gas & Electric Co. has started a smear campaign against San Francisco’s community-choice aggregation program, CleanPowerSF.

A “coalition” backed by PG&E recently sent glossy brochures to San Franciscan’s mailboxes, and launched a Web site called CommonSenseSF.com. Based on the information provided, it was unclear who, besides PG&E, the coalition members are.

The intent of CleanPowerSF is to reduce the city’s overall greenhouse gas emissions by offering San Franciscans the choice to use 51 percent green power supplied through a program administered by the San Francisco Public Utilities Commission, instead of buying power exclusively from PG&E, whose electricity sources are primarily fossil fuel and nuclear power plants.

PG&E often mentions climate change in its ads, but the topic doesn’t come up on either the mailer or the Web site. Instead, the message focuses on proposed exit fees that consumers would have to pay if they decided to go back to PG&E after the close of a two-month CCA opt-out period. It calls San Francisco’s CCA — one of the most dramatic attempts at community-wide greenhouse-gas reduction that any U.S. city has taken on — a “costly energy scheme.”

The campaign’s Web site notes that the information is provided by the “Coalition for Reliable and Affordable Electricity, a coalition of concerned consumers, small businesses, labor, community organizations and Pacific Gas and Electric Company.”

A representative from Townsend, Raimundo, Besler and Usher, a Sacramento-based PR firm, confirmed that the Coalition for Reliable and Affordable Electricity is one of its clients.

The person who is handling that client, we were told, is Bob Pence. If that name sounds familiar, it may be because Robert Lee Pence is listed as the proponent of a statewide ballot initiative that would impose a two-thirds majority vote requirement before CCA could be implemented.

The mailer includes a form that members of the public can send in, postage-free, to sign up for an alert when the Board of Supervisors votes on CCA. The address the postcards would be sent to appears to be a mail drop at Mailboxes Etc.

Winter wonderland

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andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

Every year I dread this season, not because I particularly hate the holidays, but because the short, dark days depress me. I talked to a therapist friend and she doesn’t think I have SAD, and says lots of people feel a little gloomy when the days get short. I also notice that I have almost no libido this time of year. I’m single and I usually date, but when it gets dark so early, I find that I just can’t be bothered. I don’t want to meet anyone because I don’t feel like having sex or any sort of intimacy, really. I just want to sit on my couch in my pajamas. Do I have "seasonal libido disorder"? Is this kind of seasonal swing a common thing? I also find I get the stereotypical "spring fever" and can’t wait to go out and meet guys (I’m a girl) when the days get longer. Any ideas?

Love,

Poorly Seasoned

Dear Poorly:

You’re not the only one! Even people who need look no further than the other end of the couch often experience a libido-slump in the winter. For the single, who may have to actually leave the house to find a prospective mate, the hurdles are higher. There are all sorts of possible factors, including less exercise and its possibly associated weight gain and/or lack of energy, as well as the bigger push it takes to get up and bundle yourself into cold-weather gear and slog through sleet or slush, as opposed to merely flitting out the door in a darling little sundress whenever you feel like it. There is holiday stress and all those happy couple and happy family images forced down your throat all season, set to the anti-erotic soundtrack of "Winter Wonderland." Feh.

It may turn out that there is something far more elemental going on, though. It appears that you don’t have to be human or trying to avoid Perry Como songs in order to experience a very precipitous drop in libido during the winter. Siberian hamsters, for instance, never have to listen to Perry Como (actually, I looked it up and was entranced by this list of people [besides Como] who famously recorded that nasty thing: Bob Dylan, Tom Astor, George Strait, Tony Bennett, Karen Carpenter, Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney, Eurythmics, Elvis, Goldfrapp, Cyndi Lauper, Darlene Love, Johnny Mathis, Ozzy Osbourne, Dolly Parton, Frank Sinatra, Stryper, the Cocteau Twins, and Enrico Ruggeri) and their libidos completely shut off in the winter.

It turns out that a neuropeptide called, adorably but only coincidentally, "kisspeptin" regulates the release of the reproductive hormones — gonadatropin-releasing hormone and luteinizing hormone — and allows animals (that includes us) to reach puberty, ovulate, and (at least in the hamsters) experience the urge to go out and meet other hamsters. I doubt it will turn out to be this simple in humans, but for the hamsters, kisspeptin is libido. And it turns right off in the winter. They just stop making it. It’s cheering to hear, though, and not just for the hamsters, that hamsters given kisspeptin during the winter still respond to it. It appears that it’s the kisspeptin that keeps the hamsters from reproducing during the Siberian winters, which is very good news for the baby hamsters. And it suggests the possibility for all sorts of future kisspeptin-based treatments, not just for libido and maybe late (or too-early) puberty but for infertility. Yay! But we’re getting ahead of ourselves here. None of this works yet, unless you’re a Siberian hamster.

I know I’m weird this way but I always enjoy a sudden sharp reminder that we are, despite our opposable-thumb-wielding, Wikipedia-consulting ways, really just very large hamsters. We are living in real bodies that exist on a real planet (with seasons) and that have barely changed since our tree-swinging days. Our bodies know this, even if our monkey minds often get too distracted by the bright shininess of modern technological existence to pay attention. Of course the seasons affect us.

So what can you do? Your therapist friend may be right, maybe you don’t have the sort of seriously sad SAD that requires serious intervention, but maybe you have subsyndromal seasonal affective disorder, the milder kind (I’m willing to bet that I do, and we have plenty of company). Maybe you have low kisspeptin. Maybe you just don’t like the dark. You could do the light-box therapy anyway, no matter what your friend says, and just see if it works. You could take a lovely "get your groove back" beach vacation. You could make sure you get out of the office every day at lunch. Or you could just figure that having a low libido for three months a year is not the most horrible thing that could possibly happen, and hibernate until it’s over. You wouldn’t be the first mammal to just pull the covers over her head and wait for the solstice. Your next mate can wait.

Love,

Andrea

See Andrea’s other column at carnalnation.com.

Crosses and losses

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a&eletters@sfbg.com

VISUAL ART "Amish Abstractions," the de Young Museum’s exhibition of 48 quilts made primarily by anonymous Amish girls and women, gains its conceptual interest from the unusual pairing of the words Amish and abstraction.

The collectors of these quilts were initially drawn to them by their similarity to works by 20th century abstract artists. While the attendant monograph asserts this juxtaposition several times, within the show itself you only get a disclaimer by curator Robert Shaw. "Many have compared the abstract geometry of Amish quilts to the works of acclaimed modernist painters such as Paul Klee, Piet Mondrian, Josef Albers, Ellsworth Kelly, Clyfford Still, Mark Rothko, and Victor Vasarely," he writes. "Any such comparisons are problematic, however, because they are built on visual coincidence, not on any documented historical connection or known influence in either direction."

The collectors behind "Amish Abstraction," Faith and Stephen Brown, add Frank Stella and Sol LeWitt to such a list. Still, with the exception of Albers, and to a lesser degree Stella and Vasarely, the visual coincidence feels forced. As Shaw points out, it’s a big leap from the ideals of Abstract Expressionism to the ideals of Amish culture: submission to a masculine God, submission to husband and father, humility, community. We are told by the exhibition notes that the quilts are "individual and expressive" and "contradict our preconceptions of Amish society," but there is little exploration of how, why, or where this might be the case within in a culture that restricts both self-expression and self-representation.

Having actually slept under frumpier and more polyester Amish quilts — ones my Amish grandmother and cousins made — I came to this show with low expectations. The quilts, however, are stunning. The concentration of geometric patterns, optical illusions, and bright colors create an energy in the room that feels anything but Amish. The quilts suggest extravagance, hedonism, and the revolt of the body against whatever abstract principle might be crushing it.

It certainly seems that these Amish women might have intuited aspects of Albers’ color theory. Their optical illusions are considerably more restrained than Vasarely’s, and the palette considerably more subdued than Stella’s. Few rainbows here; the Amish women favored black backgrounds and less busy juxtapositions that allow a sense of calm to pervade the constant movement suggsted by the patterns. Yet even the names of some of the patterns are hallucinogenic: Crazy Quilt, Jacob’s Ladder, Crosses and Losses, Old Maid’s Puzzle, Stairway to Heaven, Broken Star, Crazy Star, Sunshine and Shadow.

The radiance and abstraction of the quilts in "Amish Abstractions" suggest transcendence, deep spiritual harmonies, and the pleasures to be found in egolessness. In our own culture, with its pathological celebration of self and merging of personality and advertising, the idea of dispensing with the ego altogether might seem healthy. As Shaw says, "[The quilters] proceed from the place modern artists sought to find, and they reflect the stoic quietude of the Amish — their rich interior world of spiritual calm, shared values, and mutually beneficial self-denial."

The curators do an excellent job of elucidating, in very specific ways, the relationships between Amish and non-Amish communities, and the relationships between quilting patterns and specific local Amish traditions. They discuss the evolution of these specific traditions, but by restricting the quilts on display to the period from 1880 to 1940, they have trapped the Amish in the past, before the widespread use of synthetic fabrics or the "discovery" of Amish quilts by the art market.

Suggesting that historical specificity doesn’t apply to the timeless Amish, the large blow-up photographs throughout the exhibit of Amish children playing and Amish men building barns freeze the Amish in a different past. The photographs date from the 1980s, before the disappearance of affordable farmland sent young Amish men into factories, and before the Amish brand was tainted by meth-fueled megaparties of Amish kids on rumspringa and reality TV shows about corrupting "the innocent."

Since the 1930s, the major function of the Amish, for Americans in general, has been to represent an innocence the rest of us have supposedly lost. America, like the Amish, is imagined to have once been peaceful, rural, white, and untroubled by introspection. But surrounded by the bold colors and intricate stitching of "Amish Abstractions," it is easy to imagine that the Amish women who created them were secret sensualists or feminist mystics. If I didn’t know better, I’d guess they were created by revolutionary cells, possibly lesbians, who drank mushroom tea and let their hair out of their bonnets while their men were out working the fields.

But I do know better. My Amish grandmother was a young woman in Ohio during the 1930s, and so it is possible, although not likely, that she had a hand in one or two of the quilts on display. She left behind a written record of her life, condensed from diaries, a litany marked by births, weddings, and deaths, barns struck by lightning ("There was nothing to do but let it burn …"), accidents and near-accidents, bedbugs and prayer, dead children and epidemics of diptheria, influenza, whooping cough, measles, and delirium. This record is more than 100 pages long, and at times incredibly detailed about trips taken, people visited, and beets canned. Yet three years pass in a single paragraph which begins, "In the summer of 1945 I had a nervous breakdown." My father remembered little about his mother’s "nervous breakdown," but he thought she had probably been given some tranquilizers.

For the Amish, what a person might feel or want is never removed from what the community demands, from the work to be done, and from theological doctrine. Whether this constitutes spiritual calm and mutually beneficial self-denial or deeply oppressive self-abnegation is another question.

AMISH ABSTRACTIONS: QUILTS FROM THE COLLECTION OF FAITH AND STEPHEN BROWN

Through June 6, 2010

de Young Museum

50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Drive

Golden Gate Park, SF

(415) 750-3600

www.famsf.org

Sprinting toward Babylon

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VISUAL ART I remember the first time I heard about Conrad Ruiz. I was standing by the fire on the patio of the Eagle, a spot that for me is a site of great tidings. A pair of talented San Francisco artists told me with enthusiasm about this young painter whose large-scale works depicted things like a man riding the nose of a killer whale as it burst forth from a pool, or a coach getting a golden shower of Gatorade from his triumphant team. According to their accounts, Ruiz magnified and entwined the absurdity and ecstasy of his subject matter. I had some cathartic laughs just imagining his paintings.

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Detail from Overload. Challenger explosion not pictured.

When I first “saw” Ruiz’s art, online, it exceeded my expectations. In particular, I was blown away by Overload [2009], which among other things deserves consideration as the best piece of “Barack Obama art” to date. Panoramic and vibrant even when shrunk 25 times in size, Ruiz’s watercolor works on paper and canvas once again incited a convulsive reaction. I laughed my ass off upon seeing works such as New Fall Lineup [2009] for the first time. But the longer I looked, the more caught up in wonder I became about their myriad tiny details and teeming — at times disturbing subtextual currents.

What goes on in Ruiz’s imagination? On the eve of his first solo show, at San Francisco’s Silverman Gallery, I caught up with him as he navigated the social conflagration of Art Basel Miami, the megafair where at least one magazine tipped him as the leader of a “new generation of art stars.” Whatever one makes of that claim, Ruiz — who is also plotting some collective artistic efforts with friends — is the splashiest crest of an exciting new wave of young California painters.

SFBG How are you doing?
Conrad Ruiz I’m alright. I’m just sitting on South Beach. I wanted to find a place to gather my thoughts, and I’m watching this guy tan himself. I can’t believe he’s doing that. He’s got these great stomach muscles. [Curator and Berkeley Art Museum director] Larry Rinder and I were talking about doing sit-ups before we came here, but we both just got busy — we never did it.

Miami’s fun. I kind of wish I could take my shirt off everywhere, but I feel a little bit squishy.

SFBG It seems like your art would look good in Miami.
CR The colors are finding a home here. There are a lot of bright red and yellow bikinis around. This couple nearby are either arguing or also tanning themselves. They just sit and look at the sun, kinda like lizards.

SFBG What do you think of the Tiger Woods news frenzy right now? I wondered about your take on him. In a way, I thought he might not fit along with some of the athletic figures you depict, because golf isn’t so much about dynamism.
CR But you always hear comedians say, “Just leave it to a black American to dominate another sport.” Chris Rock essentially says, “Wait till we get on ice skates, man, we’re going to take over hockey.”

Tiger Woods has been developed into this brand, aligned with Nike. It’s a very intelligent campaign. It’s not Obama, but he’s been this person who can do no wrong. That’s the personality that has developed through whoever is handling his marketing. It’s more than his being an excellent golfer, he’s also been displayed as this great human. We don’t know that much about him, and then something like [the car accident and ensuing scandal] happens. It’s all we get, and it’s kind of sketchy, and it happened to fall on this awesome Thanksgiving weekend. I thought, “All must be right in the world if the only thing we have to talk about is Tiger Woods getting hit with a golf club by his wife.” If that’s what actually happened.

SFBG People are already Photoshopping and digitally animating visions of that.
CR That’s my job — to look up all that stuff.

109-cover1.jpg

SFBG Does 1970s cinema have any place in your mind’s eye? The Jaws [1975] shark in your painting Rough Riders [2008] and the disaster film or Towering Inferno-like [1974] quality of works like New Fall Lineup made me wonder. I could see that I might be wrong about the latter, since a flaming, exploding skyscraper has other obvious connotations.
CR My work really started with that time period and in painting advertising from that era. The colors were a lot more primary. When I was painting those advertisements, the work was more sarcastic. That beginning body of work was about developing this snarky character that evolved into what I’m making now.

It is about going back and catching some of the ridiculousness of what was so popular at one time. When you watch a disaster film now, you know the history of those celebrities. It’s hard for me to relate to that period of time, but it’s easy for me to relate to early 1990s movies like the Naked Gun franchise — O.J. Simpson was in those — and the Terminator flicks. Those are ridiculous and fun. I like them, and of course [lowers voice], that’s my Governor.

Everyone says “I hate that guy,” but even though I think [Schwarzenegger]’s doing a terrible job, I don’t want my politicians to be these people I don’t know — I’d rather have them be these celebrities I hate. If I’m going to hate who’s in office, I’d rather have it be Sylvester Stallone or somebody.

SFBG When you make work that has a contemporary element, there’s always a danger of it becoming instantly dated. But I think some of your work is both timely and ahead of its time. Overload, for example, just becomes more and more evocative.

The NASA element of the piece, with the Challenger exploding, is taking on new facets as Obama is increasingly identified with the military and space program. I saw a show at Altman Siegel Gallery by Matt Keegan earlier this year that utilized a New York Times front page photo of Obama boarding Air Force One for the first time. That’s a more direct example of what I’m talking about. Six months ago, that image had a different connotation.
CR I was really hoping Obama would get elected, because I started Overload before the election.

SFBG I have to ask about the Challenger’s presence in Overload. I was talking with the artist Colter Jacobsen recently about the fact that I’d like to put together a show of Challenger-related art. Within the art world, there are at least a dozen or so people who have incorporated the Challenger one way or another into work. That’s not even counting how it has manifested as band and album names and jokes in popular culture.
CR For me, it would be great to ask the artist about the original idea behind making a Challenger painting. Everyone has a different a point of view about what’s going on. I always feel like I’m casting with my paintings. There are these scenarios that have never happened, and since I get to decide what’s happening, I also decide who is the star —whether it’s someone from a B movie, an unsung celebrity, a friend who I’m giving a big break, or someone from a blockbuster, like Eddie Murphy and David Alan Grier.

109-cover3.jpg

Overload is a blockbuster sort of painting. I cast that [Challenger] explosion because I thought it was a very unique, amazing explosion. Once I began painting it, people began talking about its relevance, because it says something different when Obama is flying towards it, possibly causing it or stopping it.

To be very honest, I didn’t initially know it was the Challenger exploding. My Mom told me. She’s a teacher, so to her it was a terrible thing, and she asked me to really consider what I was doing. I told her, “That’s perfect.” Because to me the painting is about Obama coming to the rescue and shitting these energy projections — either he’s going to stop the war, or he causing some trouble of his own.

A few paintings later [in New Fall Lineup] I painted the Twin Towers exploding for a similar reason. I was casting this unique explosion and trying to create a different scenario with it.

SFBG I don’t often self-identify in generational terms, but when I was talking about the Challenger explosion with Colter [Jacobsen], he was saying that he had referred to it while teaching a class, and that it wasn’t even a memory for many students. Whereas for he and I, there was the teacher element, and also the fact that everyone was watching the Challenger at school that day. So as a disastrous event, it was similar to 9/11 in that the day just stopped.
CR The Challenger explosion has a lot to do with failed promise, doesn’t it? There was tremendous hope about what was about to happen, and it all fell apart in one second.

There’s an element of comedy that I’ve kind of borrowed from Richard Pryor. As I watch his stuff, it’s more like performance art. What he talked about wasn’t funny at all, it was actually horrible. He was an interesting character in that he talked about things that were definitely not right, but did so in a way that everyone would be laughing. Comedy is a way of passing serious information without being worried about the consequences. That makes it kind of a new territory. Dave Chappelle was able to say some unique and terrible things in this fun format.

SFBG It’s interesting that you bring up Chappelle, because after he hit his sort of Challenger moment on the pop culture stage and went away, Block Party [a.k.a. Dave Chappelle’s Block Party, 2006] came out.
CR That’s a beautiful movie.

SFBG It was released during the final stretch of all the jockeying for Academy Awards in Hollywood. All these talking heads were going on about which movies were important, and I remember thinking that Block Party was more important or vital and connected to the world than any of them.
CR/strong> His stuff is always about pointing out differences, and bringing together ideas of social class hierarchy. In a roundabout way, that’s what he did [in em>Block Party]. He brought together a lot of high-end artists and gave a free show. It was about giving to the people or the neighborhood. The idea of a barbecue, a barbecue block party, also has an ethnic connotation to it.

SFBG There is a lot of athletic imagery in your art, and I don’t want to reduce it to masculinity or sexuality, but I do want to ask about being drawn to those kinds of visuals, or wanting to render them.

Veronica De Jesus does some sports-oriented work that’s quite different from yours, but also has a terrific sense of humor. Sports are quite iconic — moments like an Olympic runner tumbling or Zidane’s headbutt become part of the collective consciousness. But beyond that, there’s an ecstatic, colorful, lively quality to your sports imagery.
CR Sports have always been a part of my life. My mom and dad were very athletic at one time, and they encouraged my brother and me to take part in sports. The alternative was for us to be on our own, and they knew we had a lot of Latino friends, so of course I was just going to get into trouble. So I was enrolled in soccer and taekwando. I was a sprinter in high school, and I was on the football team.

[The paintings] are a culmination of all the things you’re talking about. The outfits these athletes wear are designed to be eye-catching, with these primary colors. The Denver Broncos have that awesome dark blue with orange …

SFBG I love that combo. I just put together a sports cinema program with a film curator at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, and when I’d introduce a movie from the 1970s, I’d always mention the athletic fashions.
CR Everything is designed to be the most freaking amazing thing possible, because these people are performing acts that no one else can do — they’re leaping through the air catching a ball thrown from very far away while wearing purple and yellow. The performance and exertion is incredible, and at the same time, what can make it even greater is being in a stadium where everyone is screaming their lungs out at the same time. Whether it’s an epic win or colossal failure, it’s still that climax. The climax doesn’t mean that it’s good — it’s a peak of performance.

When I’d meet with advisors at CCA [California College of the Arts], we’d really break it down, and they could easily talk me out of making my work. When you get down to it, what I’m doing is a little ineffective, and what would be more effective, to really get my idea across, would be to just play soccer with a group. I’d be performing, I’d be creating these intimate male relationships. I could actually be slapping some guy’s butt instead of painting around it. Joining a soccer team would be more efficient.

SFBG Maybe you and Luke [Butler, a fellow Silverman Gallery artist whose work engages with masculinity] should join a soccer team.
CR [Laughs] Yeah.

SFBG There is some commonality between your work, and also some major differences.
CR I think it’s because I’m the boy and Luke is the dashing man. I’m looking to be a man and trying to figure out what a man is, while Luke is a dashing man looking sideways.

CONRAD RUIZ: COLD, HARD AND WET
Fri/11 through Jan. 30, 2010
Silverman Gallery
804 Sutter, SF
(415) 255-9508
www.silverman-gallery.com

Music listings

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Music listings are compiled by Paula Connelly and Cheryl Eddy. Since club life is unpredictable, it’s a good idea to call ahead to confirm bookings and hours. Prices are listed when provided to us. Submit items at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

WEDNESDAY 9

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP
Donnas, Lilofee Slim’s. 8:30pm, $17.
Bruce Hornsby, Bob Schneider Palace of Fine Arts, 3301 Lyon, SF; www.ticketmaster.com. 8pm, $52.50.
Kim Wilson Blues Revue Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $25.
Real, Headslide, Socialized El Rio. 8pm, $5.
“Silicon Valley Rock! 2009” Great American Music Hall. 7:30pm, $25. With Open Source Band, Corinne Marcus and the Kindred Spirits, Whitehalls, Tell-Tale Heartbreakers, Farewell Typewriter, and Marrow.
Son Volt, Sara Cahoone Fillmore. 8pm, $25.
Rosie Thomas, Josh Ottum Independent. 8pm, $15.
Tristeza, Winfred E. Eye, Drew Andrews Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $12.
“Umloud” DNA Lounge. 7pm, $10-120. Play Rock Band (or just watch) to raise money for Child’s Play Charity.
White Rabbits, Band of Skulls, Lovemakers, Downer Party, DJ Aaron Axelsen Bimbo’s 365 Club. 8pm, $15.
Wild Assumptions, Spot Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $6.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC
Average White Band Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $25.
“B3 Wednesdays” Coda. 9pm, $7. With Quantum Hum.
Cat’s Corner Savanna Jazz. 7pm, $5-10.
Ben Marcato and the Mondo Combo Top of the Mark. 7:30pm, $10.
Marcus Shelby Jazz Jam Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.
“Meridian Music: Composers in Performance” Meridian Gallery, 535 Powell, SF; www.meridiangallery.org. 7:30pm, $10. With Sarah Stiles.
Tin Cup Serenade Le Colonial, 20 Cosmo Place, SF; (415) 931-3600. 7pm, free.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY
Gaucho, Michael Abraham Jazz Session Amnesia. 8pm, free.
Lee Gregory Plough and Stars. 9pm.
Harper Simon, Chapin Sisters Café du Nord. 9:30pm, $15.
Sol Jibe, Afrofunk Experience Elbo Room. 9pm, $7.

DANCE CLUBS
Booty Call Q-Bar, 456 Castro; www.bootycallwednesdays.com. 9pm. Juanita Moore hosts this dance party, featuring DJ Robot Hustle.
Hands Down! Bar on Church. 9pm, free. With DJs Claksaarb, Mykill, and guests spinning indie, electro, house, and bangers.
Jam Wednesday Infusion Lounge. 10pm, free. DJ Slick Dee.
Open Mic Night 330 Ritch. 9pm, $7.
Qoöl 111 Minna Gallery. 5-10pm, $5. Pan-techno lounge with DJs Spesh, Gil, Hyper D, and Jondi.
RedWine Social Dalva. 9pm-2am, free. DJ TophOne and guests spin outernational funk and get drunk.
Respect Wednesdays End Up. 10pm, $5. Rotating DJs Daddy Rolo, Young Fyah, Irie Dole, I-Vier, Sake One, Serg, and more spinning reggae, dancehall, roots, lovers rock, and mash ups.
Synchronize Il Pirata, 2007 16th St.; (415) 626-2626. 10pm, free. Psychedelic dance music with DJs Helios, Gatto Matto, Psy Lotus, Intergalactoid, and guests.
Tenebrae Knockout. 10:30pm, $5. Dark, minimal, and electronic with DJs Omar, Josh, and Justin.

THURSDAY 10

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP
Espers, Colossal Yes Independent. 8pm, $15.
Trevor Garrod, Grand Hallway, Goh Nakamura Café du Nord. 9pm, $12.
*Grouch, Mistah F.A.B., Fashawn N’ Exile, One Block Radius, DJ Fresh Slim’s. 9pm, $18.
Hi-Nobles, Barbary Coasters, Mindless Things Annie’s Social Club. 8pm.
Moira Scar, Sweet Nothing, Schwule Stud, 399 Ninth St, SF; www.studsf.com. 9pm, $3.
One F Boom Boom Room. 9:30pm, $7.
*Slits, Go-Going-Gone Girls, Sassy!!! Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $12.
Todd Snider, Barbary Ghosts Great American Music Hall. 8pm, $21.
“Stevie Ray Vaughn Tribute with Alan Iglesias” Biscuits and Blues. 8pm, $15.
Tainted Love Red Devil Lounge. 8pm, $15.
Troublemakers Union Velma’s, 2246 Jerrold, SF; (415) 824-7646. 7pm, $10.
Your Cannons, Foreign Cinema, Tomihira Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $7.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC
Michael Coleman Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.
Eric Kurtzrock Trio Ana Mandara, Ghirardelli Square, 891 Beach, SF; (415) 771-6800. 7:30pm, free.
Laurent Fourgo Le Colonial, 20 Cosmo Place, SF; (415) 931-3600. 7:30pm, free.
Ahmad Jamal Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $22-26.
Mark Manning, Everything is Fine, Sad Bastard Book Club, Divisions, Upward Adobe Books, 3166 16th St, SF; (415) 864-3936. 7pm.
Marlina Teich Trio Brickhouse, 426 Brannan, SF; (415) 820-1595. 7-10pm, free.
“SF Jazz presents Hotplate” Amnesia. 9pm, $5. With Spaceheater playing Rahsaan Roland Kirk.
Stompy Jones Top of the Mark. 7:30pm, $10.
Todd Sickafoose’s Tiny Resistors, Erik Deutsch Hush Money Coda. 9pm, $7.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY
Bebel Gilberto Bimbo’s 365 Club. 8pm, $25.
Morgan Manifacier Socha Café, 3235 Mission, SF; (415) 643-6848. 8:30pm.
Sang Matiz, Dgiin El Rio. 9pm, $7.
Shannon Céilí Band Plough and Stars. 9pm.

DANCE CLUBS
Afrolicious Elbo Room. 9:30pm, $5-6. DJs Pleasuremaker, Señor Oz, J Elrod, and B Lee spin Afrobeat, Tropicália, electro, samba, and funk.
Bingotopia Knockout. 7:30-9:30pm, free. Play for drinks, dignity, and dorky prizes with Lady Stacy Pants.
CakeMIX SF Wish, 1539 Folsom, SF. 10pm, free. DJ Carey Kopp spinning funk, soul, and hip hop.
Caribbean Connection Little Baobab, 3388 19th St; 643-3558. 10pm, $3. DJ Stevie B and guests spin reggae, soca, zouk, reggaetón, and more.
Drop the Pressure Underground SF. 6-10pm, free. Electro, house, and datafunk highlight this weekly happy hour.
From Rum to Whisky: A Murder City Devils Night Thee Parkside. 9pm, free. With speakers Ted Perves and Joseph Tanke, and DJ Johnny Landmine.
Funky Rewind Skylark. 9pm, free. DJ Kung Fu Chris, MAKossa, and rotating guest DJs spin heavy funk breaks, early hip-hop, boogie, and classic Jamaican riddims.
Gymnasium Matador, 10 6th St., SF; (415) 863-4629. 9pm, free. With DJ Violent Vickie and guests spinning electro, hip hop, and disco.
Heat Icon Ultra Lounge. 10pm, free. Hip-hop, R&B, reggae, and soul.
Kick It Bar on Church. 9pm. Hip-hop with DJ Jorge Terez.
Kissing Booth Make Out Room. 9pm, free. DJs Jory, Commodore 69, and more spinning indie dance, disco, 80’s, and electro.
Koko Puffs Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary; 885-4788. 10pm, free. Dubby roots reggae and Jamaican funk from rotating DJs.
Mestiza Bollywood Café, 3376 19th St., SF; (415) 970-0362. 10pm, free. Showcasing progressive Latin and global beats with DJ Juan Data.
Motion Sickness Vertigo, 1160 Polk; (415) 674-1278. 10pm, free. Genre-bending dance party
with DJs Sneaky P, Public Frenemy, and D_Ro Cyclist.
Popscene 330 Rich. 10pm, $10. Rotating DJs spinning indie, Britpop, electro, new wave, and post-punk.
Represent Icon Lounge. 10pm, $5. With Resident DJ Ren the Vinyl Archaeologist and guest.
Saddlecats Atlas Café. 8pm, free.
Solid Club Six. 9pm, $5. With resident DJ Daddy Rolo and rotating DJs Mpenzi, Shortkut, Polo Mo’qz and Fuze spinning roots, reggae, and dancehall.

FRIDAY 11

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP
Big D and the Kids Table, Sonic Boom Six, Agent Deadlies Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $12.
Bog Savages Costello’s Four Deuces, 2319 Taraval, SF; (415) 566-9122. 9:30pm, free.
Breathe Carolina, Cash Cash, Kill Paradise, Fight Fair Slim’s. 7:30pm, $15.
Bart Davenport, Danny James and Pear, Sean Smith and the Present Moment Knockout. 9pm, $7.
Druglords of the Avenues, Rockfight, Good Neighbor Policy Hemlock Tavern. 9:30pm, $7.
*Eyehategod, Stormcrow, Brainoil, Acephalix DNA Lounge. 8p, $20.
Fervor, Arcadio Make-Out Room. 7pm.
Flakes Annie’s Social Club. 6pm.
“Hut at the Hut IX: Journey Unauthorized” Independent. 9pm, $20. Benefit for the SF Food Bank and the DA Taylor Charitable Foundation.
Jascha v Jascha, Girls in Trouble Socha Café, 3235 Mission, SF; (415) 643-6848. 8:30pm.
DJ Lebowitz Madrone Art Bar. 6-9pm, free.
Los Lobos Fillmore. 9pm, $42.50.
Mi Ami, Inca Ore, Jozef Van Wissem, DJ Tristes Tropiques Lab, 2948 16th St, SF; www.thelab.org. 8pm, $5.
Mission Players Pier 23. 10pm, $10.
Slowfinger, Badstrip Annie’s Social Club. 9pm, $5 (free before 10pm).

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC
Audium 9 1616 Bush, SF; (415) 771-1616. 8:30pm, $15.
Black Market Jazz Orchestra Top of the Mark. 9pm, $10.
Cannonball Reunion Coda. 10pm, $10.
“Dave Koz’s Smooth Jazz Christmas” Nob Hill Masonic Center, 1111 California, SF; 1-800-745-3000. 8pm, $39.50-99.
Eric Kurtzrock Trio Ana Mandara, Ghirardelli Square, 891 Beach, SF; (415) 771-6800. 8pm, free.
Ahmad Jamal Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8pm, $30.
Lucid Lovers Rex Hotel, 562 Sutter, SF; (415) 433-4434. 6-8pm.
Terry Disley Experience Shanghai 1930. 7:30pm, free.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY
Seth Augustus Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.
Dave Hanley Band Plough and Stars. 9pm.
Ellis Dolores Park Café. 7:30pm, $10.
Lucas Revolution Amnesia. 8pm, free.
Queen Ifrica, Tony Rebel Rock-It Room. 9pm, $20.

DANCE CLUBS
Activate! Lookout, 3600 16th St; (415) 431-0306. 9pm, $3. Face your demigods and demons at this Red Bull-fueled party.
Bar on Church 9pm. Rotating DJs Zax, Zhaldee, and Nuxx.
Blow Up Rickshaw Stop. 10pm, $15. With DJs Jeffrey Paradise and Richie Panic spinning dance music.
Exhale, Fridays Project One Gallery, 251 Rhode Island; (415) 465-2129. 5pm, $5. Happy hour with art, fine food, and music with Vin Sol, King Most, DJ Centipede, and Shane King.
Fat Stack Fridays Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 885-4788. 10pm, free. With rotating DJs Romanowski, B-Love, Tomas, Toph One, and Vinnie Esparza.
Fo’ Sho! Fridays Madrone. 10pm, $5. DJs Kung Fu Chris, Makossa, and Quickie Mart spin rare grooves, soul, funk, and hip-hop classics.
Frenchie Presents Club Six. 9pm, $10. With DJs Equipto, Best1, Slowburn, Coudee, Musonics, and more spinning hip hop.
Gay Asian Paradise Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, SF; www.eightsf.com. 9pm, $8. Featuring two dance floors playing dance and hip hop, smoking patio, and 2 for 1 drinks before 10pm. Gymnasium Stud. 10pm, $5. With DJs Violent Vickie and guests spinning electro, disco, rap, and 90s dance and featuring performers, gymnastics, jump rope, drink specials, and more.
I Can’t Feel My Face Amnesia. 10pm, $3. With DJs EUG and J Montag.
Fedde Le Grand Regency Ballroom. 9pm, $15.
Look Out Weekend Bambuddha Lounge. 4pm, free. Drink specials, food menu and resident DJs White Girl Lust, Swayzee, Philie Ocean, and more.
Lovebuzz Annie’s Social Club. 9pm, $5. Rock, classic punk, and 90s with DJs Jawa and Melanie Nelson.
M4M Fridays Underground SF. 10pm-2am. Joshua J and Frankie Sharp host this man-tastic party.
Miracle on 17th Street Thee Parkside. 9pm, $2. Bands, DJs Tina Boom Boom and Lydia, shopping, photos with Santa, and more.
Punk Rock and Shlock Karaoke Annie’s Social Club. 9pm-2am, $5. Eileen and Jody bring you songs from multiple genres to butcher: punk, new wave, alternative, classic rock, and more.
6 to 9 800 Larkin, 800 Larkin, SF; (415) 567-9326. 6pm, free. DJs David Justin and Dean Manning spinning downtempo, electro breaks, techno, and tech house. Free food by 800 Larkin.
Treat ‘Em Right Elbo Room. 10pm, $5. Hip-hop, Latin, reggae, and classics with DJs Vinnie Esparza, B-Cause, and Beto.

SATURDAY 12

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP
Alexis Harte Band, Davis Jones, Rebecca Cross Hotel Utah. 9pm, $8.
Aquabats, Action Design, Monkey Slim’s. 9pm, $18.
Captured! By Robots, Grayceon, Dirty Power Bottom of the Hill. 10pm, $12.
Dolorata, Passengers, Two Against One El Rio. 9pm, $7.
Rick Estrin and the Night Cats Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $20.
Evangelista, Thrones, Late Young Hemlock Tavern. 9:30pm, $12.
Full On Flyhead, Port Red Devil Lounge. 8pm, $10.
Garage a Trois, DJ Dan Prothero Independent. 9pm, $20.
Jank Amnesia. 7pm, free.
K-9, Distance from Shelter Thee Parkside. 3pm, free. SFFD and Bike Messenger toy drive.
Los Lobos Fillmore. 9pm, $42.50.
Microfiche, White Cloud, Middle D Lab, 2948 16th St, SF; www.thelab.org. 8pm, $5. Event also includes a Tetris tournament.
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Fool’s Gold Great American Music Hall. 9pm, $16.
Struts, Impalers, Horror-X Annie’s Social Club. 9pm, $10.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC
Audium 9 1616 Bush, SF; (415) 771-1616. 8:30pm, $15.
Terrence Brewer Coda. 10pm, $10.
Eric Kurtzrock Trio Ana Mandara, Ghirardelli Square, 891 Beach, SF; (415) 771-6800. 8pm, free.
Ahmad Jamal Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $30.
“Jazz Jam Session with Uptime Jazz Group” Mocha 101 Café, 1722 Taraval, SF; (415) 702-9869. 3:30-5:30pm, free.
Amanda King Zingari Ristorante, 501 Post, SF; (415) 885-8850. 8pm, free.
Lisa Mezzacappa and Nightshade, John Raskin-Phillip Greenlief Duo Meridian Gallery, 535 Powell, SF; www.meridiangallery.org. 8pm, $10.
Ricardo Scales Top of the Mark. 9pm, $15.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY
Family Style Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.
Hard Living Band Plough and Stars. 9pm.
Li’ Ol’ Opry, Chuck and Jeanie, Misispi Mike Café International, 508 Haight, SF; (415) 665-9915. 7pm, free.
Joe Purdy, Meaghan Smith Swedish American Hall (upstairs from Café du Nord). 8pm, $15.
Sounds of Lyon Socha Café, 3235 Mission, SF; (415) 643-6848. 8:30pm.

DANCE CLUBS
Bar on Church 9pm. Rotating DJs Foxxee, Joseph Lee, Zhaldee, Mark Andrus, and Niuxx.
Black XXXmas 550 Barneveld, 550 Barneveld, SF; (415) 550-6886. 10pm, $40. With DJs Abel, Luke Johnstone, and Jamie J Sanchez bringing all the naughty boys out.
Bootie DNA Lounge. 9pm, $6-12. Holiday mash-ups with Adrian and Mysterious D, Dada, and more.
Club 1994 111 Minna. 9pm, $10. With DJs Jeffrey Paradise and Richie Panic spinning strictly 90’s.
HYP Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, SF; www.eightsf.com. 10pm, free. Gay and lesbian hip hop party, featuring DJs spinning the newest in the top 40s hip hop and hyphy.
Moped Amnesia. 10pm, $6. Live electronica and DJs.
Reggae Gold SF Endup. 10pm, $5. With DJs Daddy Rolo, Polo Mo’Quuz, and more spinning reggae, dancehall, and remixes all night.
Same Sex Salsa and Swing Magnet, 4122 18th St., SF; (415) 305-8242. 7pm, free.
Spirit Fingers Sessions 330 Ritch. 9pm, free. With DJ Morse Code and live guest performances.
Tormenta Tropical Elbo Room. 10pm, $5-10. Electro cumbia with Uproot Andy, DJ Panik, Disco Shawn, and Oro.

SUNDAY 13

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP
“Blue Bear School of Music Band Showcase” Café du Nord. 7:30pm, $12-20.
“Electronic Puppenhorten Godwaffle Noise Pancakes” Lab, 2948 16th St, SF; www.thelab.org. Noon, $5. With +DOG+, Nux Vomica, Anti Ear, Andrea Williams’ Anais Din, z_Bug, Jolt Thrower, Voracious Garbage Vixens, and Mephitic Ooze.
Faceless, Dying Fetus, Beneath the Massacre, Suffokate, Enfold Darkness DNA Lounge. 7:30pm, $18.
Magik Markers, Sic Alps, Wiggwaum Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $7.
Mew Mezzanine. 8pm, $20.
Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, Howlin Rain Fillmore. 8pm, $21.
Timothy B. Schmit Great American Music Hall. 8pm, $20.
Static Thought, SpawnAtomic, Jibbers El Rio. 7pm, $5.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC
Community Music Center Jazz Band Community Music Center, 544 Capp, SF; www.sfcmc.org. 4pm, free.
Ahmad Jamal Yoshi’s San Francisco. 2 and 7pm, $5-30.
Rob Modica and friends Simple Pleasures, 3434 Balboa, SF; (415) 387-4022. 3pm, free.
Kim Nalley, Tammy Hall, Michael Zisman Bliss Bar, 4026 24th St, SF; (415) 826-6200. 4:30pm, $10.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY
Christmas is Best! Amnesia. 9pm, $7-10. With Uni and her Ukelele.
Marla Fibish and friends Plough and Stars. 9pm.
Merle Jagger Thee Parkside. 4pm, free.
Mucho Axé Coda. 8pm, $7.
Rob Reich Red Poppy Art House. 7pm, $10-20. An evening of music and film.
77 El Deora, Maurice Tani Bird and Beckett, 653 Chenery, SF; (415) 586-3733. 4:30pm; free, donations accepted.

DANCE CLUBS
DiscoFunk Mashups Cat Club. 10pm, free. House and 70’s music.
Dub Mission Elbo Room. 9pm, $6. Dub, roots, and classic dancehall with DJs Sep, Vinnie Esparza, and guest Lud Dub.
Gloss Sundays Trigger, 2344 Market, SF; (415) 551-CLUB. 7pm. With DJ Hawthorne spinning house, funk, soul, retro, and disco.
Honey Soundsystem Paradise Lounge. 8pm-2am. “Dance floor for dancers – sound system for lovers.” Got that?
Jock! Lookout, 3600 16th; 431-0306. 3pm, $2. This high-energy party raises money for LGBT sports teams.
Kick It Bar on Church. 9pm. Hip-hop with DJ Zax.
Lowbrow Sunday Delirium. 1pm, free. DJ Roost Uno and guests spinning club hip hop, indie, and top 40s.
Religion Bar on Church. 3pm. With DJ Nikita.
Stag AsiaSF. 6pm, $5. Gay bachelor parties are the target demo of this weekly erotic tea dance.

MONDAY 14

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP
Tab Benoit Slim’s. 8pm, $20.
“Blue Bear School of Music Band Showcase” Café du Nord. 7:30pm, $12-20.
Lady Gaga, Kid Cudi, Semi Precious Weapons Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, 99 Grove, SF; www.ticketmaster.com. 7:30pm, $50.
Maria Muldaur Rrazz Room, Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason, SF; 1-866-468-3399. 8pm, $35.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC
Hot Foot Swing Band Socha Café, 3235 Mission, SF; (415) 643-6848. 8:30pm.
Lavay Smith Trio Enrico’s, 504 Broadway, SF; www.enricossf.com. 7pm, free.
Mark Levine and the Latin Tinge Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8pm, $14.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY
Toshio Hirano Amnesia. 8:30pm, free.

DANCE CLUBS
Black Gold Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary; 885-4788. 10pm-2am, free. Senator Soul spins Detroit soul, Motown, New Orleans R&B, and more — all on 45!
Death Guild DNA Lounge. 9:30pm, $3-5. Gothic, industrial, and synthpop with Decay, Joe Radio, and Melting Girl.
Going Steady Dalva. 10pm, free. DJs Amy and Troy spinning 60’s girl groups, soul, garage, and more.
King of Beats Tunnel Top. 10pm. DJs J-Roca and Kool Karlo spinning reggae, electro, boogie, funk, 90’s hip hop, and more.
Manic Mondays Bar on Church. 9pm. Drink 80-cent cosmos with Djs Mark Andrus and Dangerous Dan.
Monster Show Underground SF. 10pm, $5. Cookie Dough and DJ MC2 make Mondays worth dancing about, with a killer drag show at 11pm.
Network Mondays Azul Lounge, One Tillman Pl; www.inhousetalent.com. 9pm, $5. Hip-hop, R&B, and spoken word open mic, plus featured performers.
Spliff Sessions Tunnel Top. 10pm, free. DJs MAKossa, Kung Fu Chris, and C. Moore spin funk, soul, reggae, hip-hop, and psychedelia on vinyl.

TUESDAY 15

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP
Aces Biscuits and Blues. 8pm, $15.
“Blue Bear School of Music Band Showcase” Café du Nord. 7:30pm, $12-20.
Corner Laughers, Anton Barbeau, Allen Clapp Grant and Green. 8:30pm, free.
Davy Knowles and Back Door Slam, Ron Drabkin Independent. 8pm, $15.
Maria Muldaur Rrazz Room, Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason, SF; 1-866-468-3399. 8pm, $35.
Nessie and Her Beard, Awkward Janitor El Rio. 8pm, free.
Sore Thumbs, Get Dead, Super Ego Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $8.
Tempo No Tempo, Grooms, Young Prisms Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $7.
Zero 7, Phantogram Warfield. 8pm, $26.50-30.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY
Cohen Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.
Mucho Axe, Fogo Na Roupa Elbo Room. 9pm, $7.
Slow Session Plough and Stars. 9pm. With Michael Duffy and friends.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC
“Booglaloo Tuesday” Madrone Art Bar. 9:30pm, $3. With Oscar Myers.
Dave Parker Quintet Rasselas Jazz. 8pm.
Euliptian Quartet Socha Café, 3235 Mission, SF; (415) 643-6848. 8:30pm.
Charlie Hunter Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $16-20.
Ricardo Scales Top of the Mark. 6:30pm, $5.

DANCE CLUBS
Alcoholocaust Presents Argus Lounge. 9pm, free. With DJs What’s His Fuck and Crystal Meth.
Drunken Monkey Annie’s Social Club. 9pm, free. Guest DJs and shot specials; also, check out Open Mic Comedy (6-9pm) and punk rock karaoke (9pm-2am) in the back room.
Eclectic Company Skylark, 9pm, free. DJs Tones and Jaybee spin old school hip hop, bass, dub, glitch, and electro.
La Escuelita Pisco Lounge, 1817 Market, SF; (415) 874-9951. 7pm, free. DJ Juan Data spinning gay-friendly, Latino sing-alongs but no salsa or reggaeton.
Rock Out Karaoke! Amnesia. 7:30pm. With Glenny Kravitz.
Share the Love Trigger, 2344 Market, SF; (415) 551-CLUB. 5pm, free. With DJ Pam Hubbuck spinning house.
Womanizer Bar on Church. 9pm. With DJ Nuxx.

Film listings

0

Film listings are edited by Cheryl Eddy. Reviewers are Kimberly Chun, Michelle Devereaux, Max Goldberg, Dennis Harvey, Johnny Ray Huston, Louis Peitzman, Lynn Rapoport, Ben Richardson, Matt Sussman, and Laura Swanbeck. The film intern is Fernando F. Croce. For rep house showtimes, see Rep Clock. For first-run showtimes, see Movie Guide.

OPENING

Invictus Elected President of South Africa in 1995 — just five years after his release from nearly three decades’ imprisonment — Nelson Mandela (Morgan Freeman) perceives a chance to forward his message of reconciliation and forgiveness by throwing support behind the low-ranked national rugby team. Trouble is, the Springboks are currently low-ranked, with the World Cup a very faint hope just one year away. Not to mention the fact that despite having one black member, they represent the all-too-recent Apartheid past for the country’s non-white majority. Based on John Carlin’s nonfiction tome, this latest Oscar bait by the indefatigable Clint Eastwood sports his usual plusses and minuses: An impressive scale, solid performances (Matt Damon co-stars as the team’s Afrikaaner captain), deft handling of subplots, and solid craftsmanship on the one hand. A certain dull literal-minded earnestness, lack of style and excitement on the other. Anthony Peckham’s screenplay hits the requisite inspirational notes (sometimes pretty bluntly), but even in the attenuated finals match, Eastwood’s direction is steady as she goes — no peaks, no valleys, no faults but not much inspiration, either. It doesn’t help that Kyle Eastwood and Michael Stevens contribute a score that’s as rousing as a warm milk bath. This is an entertaining history lesson, but it should have been an exhilarating one. (2:14) Sundance Kabuki. (Harvey)

Me and Orson Welles See “Citizen Welles.” (1:54)

*The Princess and the Frog Expectations run high for The Princess and the Frog: it’s the first Disney film to feature an African American princess, the first 2D Disney cartoon since the regrettable Home on the Range (2004), and the latest entry from the writing-directing team responsible for The Little Mermaid (1989) and Aladdin (1992). Here’s the real surprise — The Princess and the Frog not only meets those expectations, it exceeds them. After years of disappointment, many of us have given up hope on another classic entry into the Disney 2D animation canon. And yet, The Princess and the Frog is up there with the greats, full of catchy songs, gorgeous animation, and memorable characters. Set in New Orleans, the story is a take off on the Frog Prince fairy tale. Here, the voodoo-cursed Prince Naveen kisses waitress Tiana instead — transferring his froggy plight to her as well. A fun twist, and a positive message: wishing is great, but it takes hard work to make your dreams come true. For those of us raised on classic Disney, The Princess and the Frog is almost too good to believe. (1:37) Shattuck. (Peitzman)

*The Private Lives of Pippa Lee See “Life Out of Balance.” (1:40) Albany, Bridge, Smith Rafael.

A Single Man Tom Ford directs Colin Firth and Julianne Moore in this 1960s-set tale of a man mourning the death of his longtime partner. (1:39) Sundance Kabuki.

Uncertainty A knocked-up girl (Lynn Collins) and a guy with a coin in his pocket (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) stand on the Brooklyn Bridge, circle the issue, flip the coin, then bolt in opposite directions. The coin was clearly purchased in some dusty, mysterious Chinatown magic shop from a loopy-seeming octogenarian codger, because at each end of the bridge, the pair reunite for two 24-hour bouts of the title’s psychological state that unspool side by side in time but diverge in mood and pace and genre: on the Brooklyn side, we get a slow-paced family drama; in Manhattan, a pulse-raising action-thriller. In other words, a monument, a monumental decision, and a premise spun out of such pure and visible artifice that it seems unlikely to translate into absorbing filmmaking. It does, though, somehow, in the hands of writer-directors Scott McGehee and David Siegel (2005’s Bee Season, 2001’s The Deep End), who adroitly move Uncertainty’s central characters through familial scenes weighted down by quiet grief, strife, love, and worry and through the more heightened anxiety of chase and gunplay and ceaseless surveillance. While the framework remains a distracting fact, something constructed while we watched and then imposed on us, the film, heavily improvised, is carefully edited to guide us without tripping between the two threads of story. And in each — in what is becoming a pleasurable habit — we watch Gordon-Levitt bring texture and depth to the smallest moments in a conversation or scene. (1:45) Roxie. (Rapoport)

ONGOING

Armored (1:28) 1000 Van Ness, Shattuck.

*Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans Consider that ridiculous title. Though its poster and imdb entry eliminate the initial article, it appears onscreen as The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. That’s the bad lieutenant, not to be confused with Abel Ferrara’s 1992 Bad Lieutenant. The bad lieutenant has a name: Terence McDonagh, and he’s a police officer of similarly wobbly moral fiber. McDonagh’s tale — inspired by Ferrara and scripted by William Finkelstein, but perhaps more important, filmed by Werner Herzog and interpreted by Nicolas Cage — opens with a snake slithering through a post-Hurricane Katrina flood. A prisoner has been forgotten in a basement jail. McDonagh and fellow cop Stevie Pruit (Val Kilmer) taunt the man, taking bets on how long it’ll take him to drown in the rising waters. An act of cruelty seems all but certain until McDonagh, who’s quickly been established as a righteous asshole, suddenly dives in for the rescue. Unpredictability, and quite a bit of instability, reigns thereafter. Every scene holds the possibility of careening to heights both campy and terrifying, and Cage proves an inspired casting choice. At this point in his career, he has nothing to lose, and his take on Lt. McDonagh is as haywire as it gets. McDonagh snorts coke before reporting to a crime scene; he threatens the elderly; he hauls his star teenage witness along when he confronts a john who’s mistreated his prostitute girlfriend (Eva Mendes); he cackles like a maniac; he lurches around like a hunchback on crack. Not knowing what McDonagh will do next is as entertaining as knowing it’ll likely be completely insane. (2:01) Shattuck, Smith Rafael. (Eddy)

The Blind Side When the New York Times Magazine published Michael Lewis’ article “The Ballad of Big Mike” — which he expanded into the 2006 book The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game —nobody could have predicated the cultural windfall it would spawn. Lewis told the incredible story of Michael Oher — a 6’4, 350-pound 16-year-old, who grew up functionally parentless, splitting time between friends’ couches and the streets of one of Memphis’ poorest neighborhoods. As a sophomore with a 0.4 GPA, Oher serendipitously hitched a ride with a friend’s father to a ritzy private school across town and embarked on an unbelievable journey that led him into a upper-class, white family; the Dean’s List at Ole Miss; and, finally, the NFL. The film itself effectively focuses on Oher’s indomitable spirit and big heart, and the fearless devotion of Leigh Anne Tuohy, the matriarch of the family who adopted him (masterfully played by Sandra Bullock). While the movie will delight and touch moviegoers, its greatest success is that it will likely spur its viewers on to read Lewis’ brilliant book. (2:06) 1000 Van Ness, Sundance Kabuki. (Daniel Alvarez)

Brothers There’s nothing particularly original about Brothers — first, because it’s based on a Danish film of the same name, and second, because sibling rivalry is one of the oldest stories in the book. The story is fairly straightforward: good brother (Tobey Maguire) goes AWOL in Afghanistan, bad brother (Jake Gyllenhaal) comforts his sister-in law (Natalie Portman), attraction develops, but then — and here’s where things get awkward — good brother comes home. Throughout much of Brothers, the script is surprisingly restrained, holding the film back from Movie of the Week territory. Those moments of subtlety are the movie’s strongest, but by the end they’ve given way to giant, maudlin explosions of angst, which aren’t nearly as impressive. Still, the acting is consistently strong. Maguire is especially good as Captain Sam Cahill in a performance that runs the gamut from doting father to terrifyingly unbalanced. It’s unfortunate that the quiet scenes, in which all the actors excel, are overshadowed by the big, plate-smashing ones. (1:50) 1000 Van Ness, Shattuck, Sundance Kabuki. (Peitzman)

*Capitalism: A Love Story Gun control. The Bush administration. Healthcare. Over the past decade, Michael Moore has tackled some of the most contentious issues with his trademark blend of humor and liberal rage. In Capitalism: A Love Story, he sets his sights on an even grander subject. Where to begin when you’re talking about an economic system that has defined this nation? Predictably, Moore’s focus is on all those times capitalism has failed. By this point, his tactics are familiar, but he still has a few tricks up his sleeve. As with Sicko (2007), Moore proves he can restrain himself — he gets plenty of screen time, but he spends more time than ever behind the camera. This isn’t about Moore; it’s about the United States. When he steps out of the limelight, he’s ultimately more effective, crafting a film that’s bipartisan in nature, not just in name. No, he’s not likely to please all, but for every Glenn Beck, there’s a sane moderate wondering where all the money has gone. (2:07) Roxie. (Peitzman)

Christmas with Walt Disney Specially made for the Presidio’s recently opened Walt Disney Family Museum, this nearly hour-long compilation of vintage Yuletide-themed moments from throughout the studio’s history (up to Walt’s 1966 death) is more interesting than you might expect. The engine is eldest daughter Diane Disney Miller’s narrating reminiscences, often accompanied by excerpts from an apparently voluminous library of high-quality home movies. Otherwise, the clips are drawn from a mix of short and full-length animations, live-action features (like 1960’s Swiss Family Robinson), TV shows Wonderful World of Disney and Mickey Mouse Club, plus public events like Disneyland’s annual Christmas Parade and Disney’s orchestration of the 1960 Winter Olympics’ pageantry. If anything, this documentary is a little too rushed –- it certainly could have idled a little longer with some of the less familiar cartoon material. But especially for those who who grew up with Disney product only in its post-founder era, it will be striking to realize what a large figure Walt himself once cut in American culture, not just as a brand but as an on-screen personality. The film screens Nov 27-Jan 2; for additional information, visit http://disney.go.com/disneyatoz/familymuseum/index.html. (:59) Walt Disney Family Museum. (Harvey)

*Collapse Michael Ruppert is a onetime LAPD narcotics detective and Republican whose radicalization started with the discovery (and exposure) of CIA drug trafficking operations in the late 70s. More recently he’s been known as an author agitator focusing on political coverups of many types, his ideas getting him branded as a factually unreliable conspiracy theorist by some (including some left voices like Norman Solomon) and a prophet by others (particularly himself). This documentary by Chris Smith (American Movie) gives him 82 minutes to weave together various concepts — about peak oil, bailouts, the stock market, archaic governmental systems, the end of local food-production sustainability, et al. — toward a frightening vision of near-future apocalypse. It’s “the greatest preventable holocaust in the history of planet Earth, our own suicide,” as tapped-out resources and fragile national infrastructures trigger a collapse in global industrialized civilization. This will force “the greatest age in human evolution that’s ever taken place,” necessitating entirely new (or perhaps very old, pre-industrial) community models for our species’ survival. Ruppert is passionate, earnest and rather brilliant. He also comes off at times as sad, angry, and eccentric, bridling whenever Smith raises questions about his methodologies. Essentially a lecture with some clever illustrative materials inserted (notably vintage educational cartoons), Collapse is, as alarmist screeds go, pretty dang alarming. It’s certainly food for thought, and would make a great viewing addendum to concurrent post-apocalyptic fiction The Road. (1:22) Shattuck. (Harvey)

La Danse: The Paris Opera Ballet (2:38) Smith Rafael.

Disney’s A Christmas Carol (1:36) 1000 Van Ness.

*An Education The pursuit of knowledge — both carnal and cultural — are at the tender core of this end-of-innocence valentine by Danish filmmaker Lone Scherfig (who first made her well-tempered voice heard with her 2000 Dogme entry, Italian for Beginners), based on journalist Lynn Barber’s memoir. Screenwriter Nick Hornby breaks further with his Peter Pan protagonists with this adaptation: no man-boy mopers or misfits here. Rather, 16-year-old schoolgirl Jenny (Carey Mulligan) is a good girl and ace student. It’s 1961, and England is only starting to stir from its somber, all-too-sober post-war slumber. The carefully cloistered Jenny is on track for Oxford, though swinging London and its high-style freedoms beckon just around the corner. Ushering in those freedoms — a new, more class-free world disorder — is the charming David (Peter Sarsgaard), stopping to give Jenny and her cello a ride in the rain and soon proffering concerts and late-night suppers in the city. He’s a sweet-faced, feline outsider: cultured, Jewish, and given to playing fast and loose in the margins of society. David can see Jenny for the gem she is and appreciate her innocence with the knowing pleasure of a decadent playing all the angles. The stakes are believably high, thanks to An Education’s careful attention to time and place and its gently glamored performances. Scherfig revels in the smart, easy-on-eye curb appeal of David and his friends while giving a nod to the college-educated empowerment Jenny risks by skipping class to jet to Paris. And Mulligan lends it all credence by letting all those seduced, abandoned, conflicted, rebellious feelings flicker unbridled across her face. (1:35) Albany, Piedmont. (Chun)

The End of Poverty? (1:46) Four Star.

Everybody’s Fine Robert De Niro works somewhere between serious De Niro and funny De Niro in this portrait of a family in muffled crisis, a remake of the 1991 Italian film Stanno Tutti Bene. The American version tracks the comings and goings of Frank (De Niro), a recently widowed retiree who fills his solitary hours working in the garden and talking to strangers about his children, who’ve flung themselves across the country in pursuit of various dreams and now send home overpolished reports of their achievements. Disappointed by his offspring’s collective failure to show up for a family get-together, he embarks on a cross-country odyssey to connect with each in turn. Writer-director Kirk Jones (1998’s Waking Ned Devine) effectively underscores Frank’s loneliness with shots of him steering his cart through empty grocery stores, interacting only with the occasional stock clerk, and De Niro projects a sense of drifting disconnection with poignant restraint. But Jones also litters the film with a string of uninspired, autopilot comic moments, and manifold shots of telephone wires as Frank’s children (Kate Beckinsale, Drew Barrymore, and Sam Rockwell) whisper across the miles behind their father’s back — his former vocation, manufacturing the telephone wires’ plastic coating, funded his kids’ more-ambitious aims — feel like glancing blows to the head. A vaguely miraculous third-act exposition of everything they’ve been withholding to protect both him and themselves is handled with equal subtlety and the help of gratingly precocious child actors. (1:35) 1000 Van Ness. (Rapoport)

*Everything Strange and New In Frazer Bradshaw’s Everything Strange and New, Wayne (Jerry McDaniel), wears overalls too large and a look of pained, dazed acquiescence. It’s as if not just his clothes but his life were given to the wrong person — and there’s a no-exchange policy. He loves wife Reneé (the writer Beth Lisick) and their kids. But those two unplanned pregnancies mean she’s got to stay home; daycare would cost more than she’d earn. So every day Wayne returns from his dead-end construction job to the home whose mortgage holds them hostage; and every time Reneé can be heard screaming at their not-yet-school-age boys, at the end of her tether. Sometimes he silently just turns around to commiserate over beer with buddies likewise married with children, but doing no better. Wayne’s voiceover narration endlessly ponders how things got this way — more or less as they should be, yet subtly wrong. He might be willing (or at least able) to let go of the idea of happiness. But Reneé’s inarticulate fury at her stifling domestication keeps striking at any nearby punching bag, himself (especially) included. Something’s got to change. But can it? Veteran local experimentalist and cinematographer Bradshaw’s first feature, which he also wrote, never stoops to narrative cliché. Or to stylistic ones, either — there’s a spectral poetry to the way he photographs the Oakland flats. (1:24) Roxie. (Harvey)

*Fantastic Mr. Fox A lot of people have been busting filmmaker Wes Anderson’s proverbial chops lately, lambasting him for recent cinematic self-indulgences hewing dangerously close to self-parody (and in the case of 2007’s Darjeeling Limited, I’m one of them). Maybe he’s been listening. Either way, his new animated film, Fantastic Mr. Fox, should keep the naysayer wolves at bay for a while — it’s nothing short of a rollicking, deadpan-hilarious case study in artistic renewal. A kind of man-imal inversion of Anderson’s other heist movie, his debut feature Bottle Rocket (1996), his latest revels in ramshackle spontaneity and childlike charm without sacrificing his adult preoccupations. Based on Roald Dahl’s beloved 1970 book, Mr. Fox captures the essence of the source material but is still full of Anderson trademarks: meticulously staged mise en scène, bisected dollhouse-like sets, eccentric dysfunctional families coming to grips with their talent and success (or lack thereof).(1:27) Empire, 1000 Van Ness, SF Center, Sundance Kabuki. (Devereaux)

The Maid In an upper-middle class subdivision of Santiago, 40-year-old maid Raquel (Catalina Saavedra), perpetually stony and indignant, operates a rigorous dawn-to-dusk routine for the Valdez family. Although Raquel rarely behaves as an intimate of her longtime hosts, she remains convinced that love, not labor, bonds them. (Whether the family shares Raquel’s feelings of devotion is highly dubious.) When a rotating cast of interlopers is hired to assist her, she stoops to machinations most vile to scare them away — until the arrival of Lucy (Mariana Loyola), whose unpredictable influence over Raquel sets the narrative of The Maid on a very different psychological trajectory, from moody chamber piece to eccentric slice-of-life. If writer-director Sebastián Silva’s film taunts the viewer with the possibility of a horrific climax, either as a result of its titular counterpart — Jean Genet’s 1946 stage drama The Maids, about two servants’ homicidal revenge — or from the unnerving “mugshot” of Saavedra on the movie poster, it is neither self-destructive nor Grand Guignol. Rather, it it is much more prosaic in execution. Sergio Armstrong’s fidgety hand-held camera captures Raquel’s claustrophobic routine as it accentuates her Sisyphean conundrum: although she completely rules the inner workings of the house, she remains forever a guest. But her character’s motivations often evoke as much confusion as wonder. In the absence of some much needed exposition, The Maid’s heavy-handed silences, plaintive gazes, and inexplicable eruptions of laughter feel oddly sterile, and a contrived preciousness begins to creep over the film like an effluvial whitewash. Its abundance makes you aware there is a shabbiness hiding beneath the dramatic facade — the various stains and holes of an unrealized third act. (1:35) Shattuck. (Erik Morse)

The Men Who Stare at Goats No! The Men Who Stare at Goats was such an awesome book (by British journalist Jon Ronson) and the movie boasts such a terrific cast (George Clooney, Kevin Spacey, Jeff Bridges, Ewan McGregor). How in the hell did it turn out to be such a lame, unfunny movie? Clooney gives it his all as Lyn Cassady, a retired “supersolider” who peers through his third eye and realizes the naïve reporter (McGregor) he meets in Kuwait is destined to accompany him on a cross-Iraq journey of self-discovery; said journey is filled with flashbacks to the reporter’s failed marriage (irrelevant) and Cassady’s training with a hippie military leader (Bridges) hellbent on integrating New Age thinking into combat situations. Had I the psychic powers of a supersoldier, I’d use some kind of mind-control technique to convince everyone within my brain-wave radius to skip this movie at all costs. Since I’m merely human, I’ll just say this: seriously, read the book instead. (1:28) Shattuck. (Eddy)

*The Messenger Ben Foster cut his teeth playing unhinged villains in Alpha Dog (2006) and 3:10 to Yuma (2007), but he cements his reputation as a promising young actor with a moving, sympathetic performance in director Oren Moverman’s The Messenger. Moverman (who also co-authored the script) is a four-year veteran of the Israeli army, and he draws on his military experience to create an intermittently harrowing portrayal of two soldiers assigned to the U.S. Army’s Casualty Notification Service. Will Montgomery (Foster) is still recovering from the physical and psychological trauma of combat when he is paired with Tony Stone (Woody Harrelson), a by-the-book Captain whose gruff demeanor and good-old-boy gallows humor belie the complicated soul inside. Gut-wrenching encounters with the families of dead soldiers combine with stark, honest scenes that capture two men trying to come to grips with the mundane horrors of their world, and Samantha Morton completes a trio of fine acting turns as a serene Army widow. (1:45) Shattuck, Smith Rafael. (Richardson)

Ninja Assassin Let’s face it: it’d be nigh impossible to live up to a title as awesome as Ninja Assassin –- and this second flick from V for Vendetta (2005) director James McTeigue doesn’t quite do it. Anyone who’s seen a martial arts movie will find the tale of hero Raizo overly familiar: a student (played by the single-named Rain) breaks violently with his teacher; revenge on both sides ensues. That the art form in question is contemporary ninja-ing adds a certain amount of interest, though after a killer ninja vs. yakuza opening scene (by far the film’s best), and a flashback or two of ninja vs. political targets, the rest of the flick is concerned mostly with either ninja vs. ninja or ninja vs. military guys. (As ninjas come “from the shadows,” most of these battles are presented in action-masking darkness.) There’s also an American forensic researcher (Noemie Harris) who starts poking around the ninja underground, a subplot that further saps the fun out of a movie that already takes itself way too seriously. (1:33) 1000 Van Ness, Shattuck. (Eddy)

Old Dogs John Travolta and Robin Williams play lifelong friends, business partners, and happily child-free bachelors whose lives change when the latter is forced to care for the 7-year-old twins (Conner Rayburn, Ella Bleu Travolta) he didn’t know he’d sired. You know what this will be like going in, and that’s what you get: a predictable mix of the broadly comedic and maudlin, with a screenplay that feels half-baked by committee, and direction (by Walt Becker, who’s also responsible for 2007’s Wild Hogs) that tries to compensate via frantic over-editing of setpieces that end before they’ve gotten started. The coasting stars seem to be enjoying themselves, but the momentary cheering effect made by each subsidiary familiar face –- including Seth Green, Bernie Mac, Matt Dillon, Ann-Margret, Amy Sedaris, Dax Shepard, Justin Long, and Luis Guzman, some in unbilled cameos –- sours as you realize almost none of them will get anything worthwhile to do. (1:28) 1000 Van Ness. (Harvey)

Pirate Radio I wanted to like Pirate Radio, a.k.a., The Boat That Rocked –- really, I did. The raging, stormy sounds of the British Invasion –- sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll, and all that rot. Pirate radio outlaw sexiness, writ large, influential, and mind-blowingly popular. This shaggy-dog of a comedy about the boat-bound, rollicking Radio Rock is based loosely on the history of Radio Caroline, which blasted transgressive rock ‘n’ roll (back when it was still subversive) and got around stuffy BBC dominance by broadcasting from a ship off British waters. Alas, despite the music and the attempts by filmmaker Richard Curtis to inject life, laughs, and girls into the mix (by way of increasingly absurd scenes of imagined listeners creaming themselves over Radio Rock’s programming), Pirate Radio will be a major disappointment for smart music fans in search of period accuracy (are we in the mid- or late ’60s or early or mid-’70s –- tough to tell judging from the time-traveling getups on the DJs, played by Philip Seymour Hoffman and Rhys Darby, among others?) and lame writing that fails to rise above the paint-by-the-numbers narrative buttressing, irksome literalness (yes, a betrayal by a lass named Marianne is followed by “So Long, Marianne”), and easy sexist jabs at all those slutty birds. Still, there’s a reason why so many artists –- from Leonard Cohen to the Stones –- have lent their songs to this shaky project, and though it never quite gets its sea legs, Pirate Radio has its heart in the right place –- it just lost its brains somewhere along the way down to its crotch. (2:00) Oaks, Piedmont, 1000 Van Ness. (Chun)

Planet 51 (1:31) Oaks, 1000 Van Ness.

*Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire This gut-wrenching, little-engine-that-could of a film shows the struggles of Precious, an overweight, illiterate 16-year-old girl from Harlem. Newcomer Gabourey Sidibe is so believably vigilant (she was only 15 at the time of filming) that her performance alone could bring together the art-house viewers as well as take the Oscars by storm. But people need to actually go and experience this film. While Precious did win Sundance’s Grand Jury and Audience Award awards this year, there is a sad possibility that filmgoers will follow the current trend of “discussing” films that they’ve actually never seen. The daring casting choices of comedian Mo’Nique (as Precious’ all-too-realistically abusive mother) and Mariah Carey (brilliantly understated as an undaunted and dedicated social counselor) are attempts to attract a wider audience, but cynics can hurdle just about anything these days. What’s most significant about this Dancer in the Dark-esque chronicle is how Damien Paul’s screenplay and director Lee Daniels have taken their time to confront the most difficult moments in Precious’ story –- and if that sounds heavy-handed, so be it. Stop blahging for a moment and let this movie move you. (1:49) SF Center, Shattuck, Sundance Kabuki. (Jesse Hawthorne Ficks)

Red Cliff All Chinese directors must try their hands at a historical epic of the swords and (arrow) shafts variety, and who can blame them: the spectacle, the combat, the sheer scale of carnage. With Red Cliff, John Woo appears to top the more operatic Chen Kaige and a more camp Zhang Yimou in the especially latter department. The body count in this lavishly CGI-appointed (by the Bay Area’s Orphanage), good-looking war film is on the high end of the Commando/Rambo scale. The endless, intricately choreographed battle scenes are the primary allure of this slash-’em-up, whittled-down version of the Chinese blockbuster, which was released in Asia as a four-hour two-parter. Yet despite some notably handsome cinematography that rivals that of the Lord of the Rings trilogy in its painterliness, seething performances by players like Tony Leung and Fengyi Zhang, and recognizable Woo leitmotifs (a male bonding-attraction that’s particularly pronounced during Leung and Takeshi Kaneshiro’s zither shred-fests, fluttering doves, a climactic Mexican standoff, the added jeopardy of a baby amid the battle), the labyrinthian complexity of the story and its multitude of characters threaten to lose the Western viewer –- or anyone less than familiar with Chinese history –- before strenuous pleasures of Woo’s action machine kick in. The completely OTT finale will either have you rolling your eyes its absurdity or laughing aloud at its contrived showmanship. Despite Woo’s lip service to the virtues of peace and harmony, is there really any other way, apart from the warrior’s, in his world? (2:28) Shattuck. (Chun)

The Road After an apocalypse of unspecified origin, the U.S. –- and presumably the world –- is depleted of wildlife and agriculture. Social structures have collapsed. All that’s left is a grim survivalism in which father (Viggo Mortensen) and son (whimpery Kodi Smit-McPhee) try to find food sources and avoid fellow humans, since most of the latter are now cannibals. Flashbacks reveal their past with the wife and mother (Charlize Theron) who couldn’t bear soldiering on in this ruined future. Scenarist Joe Penhall (a playwright) and director John Hillcoat (2005’s The Proposition) have adapted Cormac McCarthy’s novel with painstaking fidelity. Their Road is slow, bleak, grungy and occasionally brutal. All qualities in synch with the source material –- but something is lacking. One can appreciate Hillcoat and company’s efforts without feeling the deep empathy, let alone terror, that should charge this story of extreme faith and sacrifice. The film just sits there –- chastening yet flat, impact unamplified by familiar faces (Robert Duvall, Guy Pearce, Molly Parker) road-grimed past recognition. (1:53) California, Piedmont. (Harvey)

*A Serious Man You don’t have to be Jewish to like A Serious Man — or to identify with beleaguered physics professor Larry Gopnik (the grandly aggrieved Michael Stuhlbarg), the well-meaning nebbishly center unable to hold onto a world quickly falling apart and looking for spiritual answers. It’s a coming of age for father and son, spurred by the small loss of a radio and a 20-dollar bill. Larry’s about-to-be-bar-mitzvahed son is listening to Jefferson Airplane instead of his Hebrew school teachers and beginning to chafe against authority. His daughter has commandeered the family bathroom for epic hair-washing sessions. His wife is leaving him for a silkily presumptuous family friend and has exiled Larry to the Jolly Roger Motel. His failure-to-launch brother is a closeted mathematical genius and has set up housekeeping on his couch. Larry’s chances of tenure could be spoiled by either an anonymous poison-pen writer or a disgruntled student intent on bribing him into a passing grade. One gun-toting neighbor vaguely menaces the borders of his property; the other sultry nude sunbather tempts with “new freedoms” and high times. What’s a mild-mannered prof to do, except envy Schrodinger’s Cat and approach three rungs of rabbis in his quest for answers to life’s most befuddling proofs? Reaching for a heightened, touched-by-advertising style that recalls Mad Men in look and Barton Fink (1991) in narrative — and stooping for the subtle jokes as well as the ones branded “wide load” — the Coen Brothers seem to be turning over, examining, and flirting with personally meaningful, serious narrative, though their Looney Tunes sense of humor can’t help but throw a surrealistic wrench into the works. (1:45) California, Piedmont. (Chun)

2012 I don’t need to give you reasons to see this movie. You don’t care about the clumsy, hastily dished-out pseudo scientific hoo-ha that explains this whole mess. You don’t care about John Cusack or Woody Harrelson or whoever else signed on for this embarrassing notch in their IMDB entry. You don’t care about Mayan mysteries, how hard it is for single dads, and that Danny Glover and Chiwetel Ejiofor jointly stand in for Obama (always so on the zeitgeist, that Roland Emmerich). You already know what you’re in store for: the most jaw-dropping depictions of humankind’s near-complete destruction that director Emmerich –- who has a flair for such things –- has ever come up with. All the time, creative energy, and money James Cameron has spent perfecting the CGI pores of his characters in Avatar is so much hokum compared to what Emmerich and his Spartan army of computer animators dish out: the U.S.S. John F. Kennedy emerging through a cloud of toxic dust like some Mary Celeste of the military-industrial complex, born aloft on a massive tidal wave that pulverizes the White House; the dome of St. Paul’s flattening the opium-doped masses like a steamroller; Hawaii returned to its original volcanic state; and oodles more scenes in which we are allowed to register terror, but not horror, at the gorgeous destruction that is unfurled before us as the world ends (again) but no one really dies. Get this man a bigger budget. (2:40) Empire, California, 1000 Van Ness. (Sussman)

The Twilight Saga: New Moon Oh my God, you guys, it’s that time of the year: another Twilight chapter hits theaters. New Moon reunites useless cipher Bella (Kristen Steward) and Edward (Robert Pattinson), everyone’s favorite sparkly creature of darkness. Because this is a teen wangstfest, the course of true love is kind of bumpy. This time around, there’s a heavy Romeo and Juliet subplot and some interference from perpetually shirtless werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner). Chances are you know this already, as you’ve either devoured Stephenie Meyer’s book series or you were one of the record-breaking numbers in attendance for the film’s opening weekend. And for those non-Twilight fanatics — is there any reason to see New Moon? Yes and no. Like the 2008’s Twilight, New Moon is reasonably entertaining, with plenty of underage sexual tension, supernatural slugfests, and laughable line readings. But there’s something off this time around: New Moon is fun but flat. For diehard fans, it’s another excuse to shriek at the screen. For anyone else, it’s a soulless diversion. (2:10) Empire, 1000 Van Ness, SF Center, Sundance Kabuki. (Peitzman)

Up in the Air After all the soldiers’ stories and the cannibalism canards of late, Up in the Air’s focus on a corporate ax-man — an everyday everyman sniper in full-throttle downsizing mode — is more than timely; it’s downright eerie. But George Clooney does his best to inject likeable, if not quite soulful, humanity into Ryan Bingham, an all-pro mileage collector who prides himself in laying off employees en masse with as few tears, tantrums, and murder-suicide rages as possible. This terminator’s smooth ride from airport terminal to terminal is interrupted not only by a possible soul mate, fellow smoothie and corporate traveler Alex (Vera Farmiga), but a young tech-savvy upstart, Natalie (Anna Kendrick), who threatens to take the process to new reductionist lows (layoff via Web cam) and downsize Ryan along the way. With Up in the Air, director Jason Reitman, who oversaw Thank You for Smoking (2005) as well as Juno (2007), is threatening to become the bard of office parks, Casual Fridays, khaki-clad happy hours, and fly-over zones. But Up in the Air is no Death of a Salesman, and despite some memorable moments that capture the pain of downsizing and the flatness of real life, instances of snappily screwball dialogue, and some more than solid performances by all (and in particular, Kendrick), he never manages to quite sell us on the existence of Ryan’s soul. (1:49) SF Center. (Chun)

*William Kunstler: Disturbing the Universe A middle-class suburban lawyer radicalized by the Civil Rights era, Kunstler became a hero of the left for his fiery defenses of the draft-card-burning Catonsville Nine, the Black Panthers, the Chicago Twelve, and the Attica prisoners rioting for improved conditions, and Native American protestors at Wounded Knee in 1973. But after these “glory days,” Kunstler’s judgment seemed to cloud while his thirst for “judicial theatre” and the media spotlight. Later clients included terrorists, organized-crime figures, a cop-killing drug dealer, and a suspect in the notorious Central Park “wilding” gang rape of a female jogger –- unpopular causes, to say the least. “Dad’s clients gave us nightmares. He told us that everyone deserves a lawyer, but sometimes we didn’t understand why that lawyer had to be our father” says Emily Kunstler, who along with sister Sarah directed this engrossing documentary about their late father. Growing up under the shadow of this larger-than-life “self-hating Jew” and “hypocrite” –- as he was called by those frequently picketing their house –- wasn’t easy. Confronting this sometimes bewildering behemoth in the family, Disturbing the Universe considers his legacy to be a brave crusader’s one overall –- even if the superhero in question occasionally made all Gotham City and beyond cringe at his latest antics. (1:30) Roxie. (Harvey)

Stage listings

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Stage listings are compiled by Molly Freedenberg. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com.

THEATER

OPENING

The 39 Steps Curran Theater, 1192 Market; 551-2020, www.shnsf.com. $35-$80. Previews Wed/9. Runs Tues, 8pm; Wed, 2 and 8pm; Thurs, 8pm; Fri, -Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 3. The SHN Best of Broadway series kicks off with Alfred Hitchcock’s Tony Award-winning whodunit comedy.

Cinderella African American Art and Culture Complex, 762 Fulton; (800) 8383-3006, www.african-americanshakes.org. $20-$30. Previews Thurs/10. Opens Fri/11. Runs Sat/13, 3 and 8pm; Sun, 3pm; Dec 19, 8pm. Through Dec 27. The African-American Shakespeare Company presents an enchanting production of the classic fairytale, re-set on the bayous of Louisiana.

Dames at Sea New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $22-$40. Previews Wed/8-Fri/11. Opens Sat/12. Runs Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 17. NCTC presents the Off-Broadway musical hit.

Fun-derful Holidaze The Marsh, 1062 Valencia; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $7-$12. Opens Sat/12-Sun/13. Runs Sat-Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 3. The Marsh presents Unique Derique in a fun-filled feast of frivolity for all ages.

Katya’s Holiday Spectacular New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $22-$32. Previews Wed/9-Thurs/10. Opens Fri/11. Runs various days, 8pm, through Jan 2. NCTC presents a special winter cabaret starring Katya Smirnoff-Skyy.

BAY AREA

Aurelia’s Oratorio Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Roda Theatre, 2015 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, berkeleyrep.org. $33-$71. Opens Wed/9. Runs Tues, Thurs, Fri, and Sat, 8pm; Wed, 7pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Jan 24. Berkeley Rep presents Victoria Thierree Chaplin’s dazzling display of stage illusion.

The Coverlettes Cover Christmas Aurora Theatre, 2081 Addison, Berk; (510) 843-4822, auroratheatre.org. $25-$28. Opens Tues/15. Runs Mon-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Dec 27. Aurora Theatre Company rocks the holiday season in the style of 1960’s girl groups.

The Stone Wife Berkeley City Club, 2315 Durant, Berk; 730-2901. $15-$20. Opens Fri/11. Runs Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 6pm. Through Dec 20. The Berkeley City Club presents this award-winning play written and directed by Helen Pau.

ONGOING

Beautiful Thing New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972. $22-40. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 3. New Conservatory Theatre Center performs Jonathan Harvey’s story of romance between two London teens.

Better Homes and Ammo (a post apocalyptic suburban tale) EXIT Stage Left, 156 Eddy; www.brownpapertickets.com/event/86070. $15-$19. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 19. No Nude Men Productions presents the end-of-the-world premiere of sketchy comedy veteran Wylie Herman’s first full length play.

The Bright River Climate Theater, 285 9th St; (800) 838-3006, thebrightriver.com. $15-$25. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Dec 27. Climate presents this mesmerizing hip-hop retelling of Dante’s Inferno by Tim Brarsky.

A Christmas Carol American Conservatory Theater, 415 Geary; 749-2228, www.act-sf.org. $14-$102. Days and times vary. Through Dec 27. A.C.T. presents the sparkling, music-infused celebration of goodwill by Charles Dickens.

Cotton Patch Gospel Next Stage, 1620 Gough; (800) 838-3006, www.custommade.org. $10-$28. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Dec 19. Custom Made presents Harry Chapin’s progressive and musically joyous look at the Jesus story through a modern lens.

*East 14th Marsh, 1062 Valencia; 1-800-838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $20-35. Fri, 9pm; Sat, 8:30pm. Through Dec 19. Don Reed’s solo play, making its local premiere at the Marsh after an acclaimed New York run, is truly a welcome homecoming twice over. It returns the Bay Area native to the place of his vibrant, physically dynamic, consistently hilarious coming-of-age story, set in 1970s Oakland between two poles of East 14th Street’s African American neighborhood: one defined by his mother’s strict ass-whooping home, dominated by his uptight Jehovah’s Witness stepfather; the other by his biological father’s madcap but utterly non-judgmental party house. The latter—shared by two stepbrothers, one a player and the other flamboyantly gay, under a pimped-out, bighearted patriarch whose only rule is “be yourself”—becomes the teenage Reed’s refuge from a boyhood bereft of Christmas and filled with weekend door-to-door proselytizing. Still, much about the facts of life in the ghetto initially eludes the hormonal and naïve young Reed, including his own flamboyant, ever-flush father’s occupation: “I just thought he was really into hats.” But dad—along with each of the characters Reed deftly incarnates in this very engaging, loving but never hokey tribute—has something to teach the talented kid whose excellence in speech and writing at school marked him out, correctly, as a future “somebody.” (Avila)

Eccentrics of San Francisco’s Barbary Coast: A Magical Escapade San Francisco Magic Parlor, Chancellor Hotel Union Square, 433 Powell; 1-800-838-3006. $30. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Ongoing. This show celebrates real-life characters from San Francisco’s colorful and notorious past.

I Heart Hamas: And Other Things I’m Afraid to Tell You Off Market Theaters, 965 Mission; www.ihearthamas.com. $20. Thurs/10 and Sat/12, 8pm. An American woman of Palestinian descent, San Francisco actor Jennifer Jajeh grew up with a kind of double consciousness familiar to many minorities. But hers—conflated and charged with the history and politics of the Middle East—arguably carried a particular burden. Addressing her largely non–Middle Eastern audience in a good-natured tone of knowing tolerance, the first half of her autobiographical comedy-drama, set in the U.S., evokes an American teen badgered by unwelcome difference but canny about coping with it. The second, set in her ancestral home of Ramallah, is a journey of self-discovery and a political awakening at once. The fairly familiar dramatic arc comes peppered with some unexpected asides—and director W. Kamau Bell nicely exploits the show’s potential for enlightening irreverence (one of the cleverer conceits involves a “telepathic Q&A” with the audience, premised on the predictable questions lobbed at anyone identifying with “the other”). The play is decidedly not a history lesson on the colonial project known as “the Israeli-Palestinian conflict” or, for that matter, Hamas. But as the laudably mischievous title suggests, Jajeh is out to upset some staid opinions, stereotypes and confusions that carry increasingly significant moral and political consequences for us all. (Avila)

I SF South of Market home stage, 505 Natoma; (800) 838-3006, www.boxcartheatre.org. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 19. Boxcar Theatre presents an improvised unabashed stage poem to all things San Francisco.

Jubilee Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson; 255-8207, www.42ndstmoon.org. $34-$44. Wed/9, 7pm; Thurs/10-Fri/11, 8pm; Sat/12, 6pm; Sun/13, 3pm. 42nd Street Moon presents this tune-filled 1935 musical spoof of royalty, revolution, and ribald rivalries.

Let It Snow! SF Playhouse Stage 2, 533 Sutter; 677-9596, www.sfplayhouse.org. $8-$20. Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 3 and 8pm. Through Dec 19. The Un-scripted Theater Company lovingly presents an entirely new musical every night based on audience participation.

The Life of Brian Dark Room Theater, 2263 Mission; 401-7987, darkroomsf.com. $20. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 19. The Dark Room Theater presents a movie parody turned into a theatrical parody.

*Loveland The Marsh, 1074 Valencia; 826-5750, www.themarsh.org. $15-$50. Thurs/10, 8pm; Sat/12, 5pm. Los Angeles–based writer-performer Ann Randolph returns to the Marsh with a new solo play partly developed during last year’s Marsh run of her memorable Squeeze Box. Randolph plays loner Frannie Potts, a rambunctious, cranky and libidinous individual of decidedly odd mien, who is flying back home to Ohio after the death of her beloved mother. The flight is occasion for Frannie’s own flights of memory, exotic behavior in the aisle, and unabashed advances toward the flight deck brought on by the seductively confident strains of the captain’s commentary. The singular personality and mother-daughter relationship that unfurls along the way is riotously demented and brilliantly humane. Not to be missed, Randolph is a rare caliber of solo performer whose gifts are brought generously front and center under Matt Roth’s reliable direction, while her writing is also something special—fully capable of combining the twisted and macabre, the hilariously absurd, and the genuinely heartbreaking in the exact same moment. Frannie Potts’s hysteria at 30,000 feet, as intimate as a middle seat in coach (and with all the interpersonal terror that implies), is a first-class ride. (Avila)

Ovo Grand Chapiteau, AT&T Park; (800) 450-1480, www.cirquedusoleil.com. $45.50-$135. Tues-Thurs, 8pm; Fri-Sat, 4 and 8pm; Sun, 1 and 5pm. Through Jan 24. The U.S. premiere of Cirque du Soleil’s latest extravaganza, written and directed by Deborah Colker, dependably sports several fine acts enmeshed in a visually buzzing insect theme. Highlights include a delighting set of juggling ants, twirling huge wedges of kiwi with their synchronized tootsies, very adorable and almost unbelievably deft; a mesmerizing and freely romantic airborne “Spanish Web” duet; and a spider traversing a “slackwire” web with jaw-dropping strength, balance and agility. The whisper-thin plot, thin even by Cirque standards, is nearly summed up in the title (Portuguese for “egg”). A very large “ovo” takes up most of the stage as the audience enters the tent. This is miraculously replaced in a flash by a smaller, though still ample one lugged around by one of three clowns (by the standards of past years, not a very inspired or absorbing bunch these three), and then snatched away amid a throng of insect types. An endoplasmic reticulum, or something, hovers a floor or two high toward the back of the stage, where the live band churns the familiar trans-inducing Euro-beats. The baseline entertainment value is solid, though the usual high jinx and overall charm are at somewhat lower ebb compared with recent years. (Avila)

Pearls Over Shanghai Hypnodrome, 575 Tenth St.; 1-800-838-3006, www.thrillpeddlers.com. $30-69. Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Jan 23. Thrillpeddlers presents this revival of the legendary Cockettes’ 1970 musical extravaganza.

Pulp Scripture Off Market Theater, 965 Mission; www.pulpscripture.com. $20. Sat/12, 10:30pm; Sun/13, 4pm. Original Sin Productions and PianoFight bring the bad side of the Good Book back to live in William Bivins’ comedy.

Rabbi Sam The Marsh, 1062 Valencia; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $25-$50. Sat/12, 8pm. Charlie Varons’ runaway hit show returns to the Marsh.

“ReOrient 2009” Thick House, 1695 18th St; 626-4061, www.goldenthread.org. $12-$25. Thurs/10-Sat/12, 8pm; Sun/13, 5pm. Golden Thread Productions celebrates the tenth anniversary of its festival of short plays exploring the Middle East.

Santaland Diaries Off Market Theater, 965 Mission; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com/event/89315. $25. Mon-Sun, 8 and 10pm. Through Dec 30. Combined Artform and Beck-n-Call present the annual production of David Sedaris’ story, starring John Michael Beck and David Sinaiko.

Shanghai San Francisco One Telegraph Hill; 1-877-384-7843, www.shanghaisanfrancisco.com. $40. Sat, 1pm. Ongoing. To be Shanghaied: “to be kidnapped for compulsory service aboard a ship&ldots;to be induced or compelled to do something, especially by fraud or force”. Once the scene of many an “involuntary” job interview, San Francisco’s Barbary Coast is now the staging ground for Shanghai San Francisco, a performance piece slash improv slash scavenger hunt through the still-beating hearts of North Beach and Chinatown, to the edge of the Tendernob. Beginning at the base of Coit Tower, participants meet the first of several characters who set up the action and dispense clues, before sending the audience off on a self-paced jaunt through the aforementioned neighborhoods, induced and compelled (though not by force) to search for a kidnapped member of the revived San Francisco Committee of Vigilance. It’s a fine notion and a fun stroll on a sunny afternoon, but ultimately succeeds far better as a walking tour than as theatre. Because the actors are spread rather thinly on the ground, they’re unable to take better advantage of their superior vantage by stalking groups a little more closely, staging distractions along the way, and generally engaging the audience as such a little more frequently. But since Shanghai San Francisco is a constantly evolving project, maybe next time they’ll do just that. (Gluckstern)

She Stoops to Comedy SF Playhouse, 533 Sutter; 677-9596, www.sfplayhouse.org. $30-$40. Tues, 7pm; Wed-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 3 and 8pm. Through Jan 9. SF Playhouse continues their seventh season with the Bay Area premiere of David Greenspan’s gender-bending romp.

Under the Gypsy Moon Teatro ZinZanni, Pier 29; 438-2668, www.zinzanni.org. $117-$145. Wed-Sat, 6pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 1. Teatro ZinZanni presents a bewitching evening of European cabaret, cirque, theatrical spectacle, and original live music, blended with a five-course gourmet dinner.

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Actors Theatre of SF, 855 Bush; 345-1287, www.actorstheatresf.org. $26-$40. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Dec 19. Before throwing around terms like “dysfunctional, bi-polar, codependent,” to describe the human condition became fodder for every talk show host and reality TV star, people with problems were expected to keep them tight to the chest, like war medals, to be brought out in the privacy of the homestead for the occasional airing. For George and Martha, the sort of middle-aged, academically-entrenched couple you might see on any small University campus, personal trauma is much more than a memory—it’s a lifestyle, and their commitment to receiving and inflicting said trauma is unparalleled. The claws-out audacity of mercurial Martha (Rachel Klyce) is superbly balanced by a calmly furious George (Christian Phillips), and their almost vaudevillian energy easily bowls over boy genius Biologist, Nick (Alessandro Garcia) and his gormless, “slim-hipped” wife Honey (Jessica Coghill), who at times exhibit such preternatural stillness they seem very much like the toys their game-playing hosts are using them as to wage their private war of attrition; their nervous reactions, though well-timed, coming off as mechanical in comparison to the practiced ease with which Klyce and Phillips relentlessly tear down the walls of illusion. But thanks to George and Martha’s menacing intensity, and self-immoutf8g love, this Virginia Woolf does not fail to hold the attentions of its audience captive, despite being a grueling (though never tedious) three-and-a-half hours long. (Gluckstern)

Wicked Orpheum Theatre, 1182 Market; 512-7770, www.shnsf.com. $30-$99. Tues, 8pm; Wed, 2pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Ongoing. Assuming you don’t mind the music, which is too TV-theme–sounding in general for me, or the rather gaudy décor, spectacle rules the stage as ever, supported by sharp performances from a winning cast. (Avila)

BAY AREA

*FAT PIG Aurora Theatre, 2081 Addison, Berk; (510) 843-4822, auroratheatre.org. $15-$55. Wed/9-Sat/12, 8pm; Sun/13, 2 and 7pm. Playwright Neil LaBute has a reputation for cruelty—or rather the unflinching study thereof—but as much as everyday sociopathy is central to Fat Pig, this fine, deceptively straightforward play’s real subject is human frailty: the terrible difficulty of being good when it means going decidedly against the values and opinions of your peers. Aurora Theatre’s current production makes the point with satirical flair and insight, animated by a faultless ensemble directed with snap and fire by Barbara Damashek. A conventionally handsome businessman named Tom (a brilliantly canny, vulnerable and sympathetic Jud Williford) falls for a bright, beautiful woman of more than average size named Helen (Liliane Klein, radiantly reprising the role after a production for Boston’s Speakeasy Stage). It’s the most important relationship either has had. Alone together they’re very happy. At work, however, Tom contends with relentless pressure from his coworkers, Carter (a penetrating Peter Ruocco, savoring the sadism of the locker room) and onetime dating partner Jeannie (Alexandra Creighton, devastatingly sharp at being semi-hinged). As ambivalent as Tom is about both, he feebly attempts to hide his new love from them. The separation of public and private selves leads to conflict, and the plot will turn on how Tom resolves it. Needless to say, the title’s inherent viciousness points not at Helen—by far the most advanced personality on stage—but at those who would intone the phrase as well as those, like Tom, who tacitly let it work its dark magic. (Avila)

*Large Animal Games La Val’s Subterranean, 1834 Euclid, Berk; www.impacttheatre.com. $10-20. Thurs/10-Sat/12, 8pm. Impact Theatre co-presents (with Atlanta’s Dad’s Garage) the world premiere of a new play by Atlanta-based Steve Yockey. The 75-minute comedy mingles three separate subplots among a group of friends, all refracted through a mysterious lingerie shop run by an affable, somewhat impish tailor (Jai Sahai) offering new skins for exploring inner selves. There’s the spoiled rich-girl (Marissa Keltie) horrified to discover her perfect fiancé’s (Timothy Redmond) secret penchant for donning feminine undergarments; a pair of best friends (Cindy Im and Elissa Dunn) who fall out over the sexy no-English matador-type (Roy Landaverde) one brings home from a Spanish holiday; and there’s an African American woman (Leontyne Mbele-Mbong) who goes on an African safari as the logical extension of her obsession with guns. Briskly but shrewdly directed by Melissa Hillman, the agreeable cast knows what to do with Yockey’s well-honed, true-to-life repartee. The play has a touch of the magical dimension familiar to audiences who saw Skin or Octopus (both produced by Encore Theatre) but it operates here in a less self-conscious, more lighthearted way, while still nicely augmenting the subtly related themes of animal-lust, competition, self-image and possession cleverly at work under the frilly, scanty surface. (Avila)

“Shakes ‘Super’ Intensive + Bronte Series” Berkeley Unitarian Fellowship, 1924 Cedar, Berk; (510) 275-3871. $8. Mon/14, 7:30pm. Subterranean Shakespeare presents weekly staged readings of classic Shakespeare plays, followed by a staged reading of Jon O’Keefe’s complete play about the Bronte sisters.

*The Threepenny Opera Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby, Berk; www.shotgunplayers.org. $18-$30. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 17. Wednesday performances begin Jan 6. Shotgun Players present Bertolt Brecht’s beggar’s opera.

DANCE

“Dance Along Nutcracker” Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Forum, 701 Mission; 978-2787, www.dancealongnutcracker.org. Sat, 2:30 and 7pm; Sun, 11am and 3pm. $16-$50. The San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band plays at this family-friendly holiday show, featuring performances interspersed with audience dancing.

“Double Dance Bill” ODC Dance Commons, 351 Shotwell; www.odctheater.org. Sat-Sun, 8pm. $15-$18. ODC Theater presents world and local premieres by Kate Weare Company and project agora.

“Fiesta Flamenca” Baobab Village, 3372 19th St; 970-0362, www.latania-flamenco.com. Sun, 7:30pm. $15. Bollyhood Café presents this monthly evening with La Tania and Cuadro Aljibe, Roberto Zamora, and Roberto Aguilar.

Funsch Dance Experience Legion of Honor, 34th Ave and Clement; 902-5371, www.funschdance.org. Sun, 4pm. The nine dancers of Christy Funsch’s company present Funsch Solos Volume II: Water Solos, performances that take place outside around the water fountain.

“Lightning Never Strikes the Same Place Twice” SOMArts Cultural Center, 934 Brannan; www.sffs.org. Sat-Sun, 8pm. $15-$18. San Francisco Film Society presents the KinoTek program Catherine Galasso, a multimedia dance, theater, and projected video performance.

Lily Cai Dance Company Cowell Theater, Fort Mason Center; 345-7575, www.fortmason.org. Thurs, 8pm. $28-$35. The dance company and Melody of China present an evening of contemporary dance and music.

“A Queer 20th Anniversary” Locations vary. www.circozero.org. Various days and times, Dec. 9 – Jan. 31. Zero Performance presents a retrospective of two seminal pieces performed by Keith Hennessy and company, including a restaging of Saliva at the original site under a freeway South of Market.

Mark Foehringer Dance Project/SF Zeum Theater, 221 Fourth St; 433-1235, www.tixbayarea.org. Dec 12, 13, 19, and 20, 11am and 2pm. $25. The dance project presents a unique rendition of The Nutcracker at Zeum, featuring the Magik*Magik Orchestra performing live.

Presidio Dance Theatre Junior Company Palace of Fine Arts Theatre, 3301 Lyon; www.presidiodance.org. Sun, 3pm. $35-$100. Sherene Melania presents the company’s annual benefit holiday show.

“The Revolutionary Nutcracker Sweetie” Brava Theater, 2781 24th St; 273-4633, www.dancemission.com. Sat, 2 and 7pm; Sun, 2 and 6pm. Dance Brigade’s Dance Mission Theater’s Youth Program takes Clara on a magical journey with the Freedom Fighting Nutcracker.

“The Velveteen Rabbit” Novellus Theater, Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 700 Howard; 978-2787, www.ybca.org. Through Sun. $10-$45. This year’s installment of a favorite Bay Area holiday tradition features dancing by ODC/Dance, recorded narration by Geoff Hoyle, design by Brian Wildsmith, and a musical score by Benjamin Britten.

BAY AREA

“The Hard Nut” Zellerbach Hall, UC Berkeley, Berk; cpinfo.berkeley.edu. Days and times vary, Dec 11-20. $36-$62. Mark Morris Dance Group and Berkeley Symphony Orchestra present this retelling of The Nutcracker.

PERFORMANCE

“All of Me” Marines Memorial Theatre, 609 Sutter; 771-6900, www.marinesmemorialtheatre.com. Fri-Sat, 8pm. $47.50-$77.50. Linda Eder kicks off the Rrazz Concert Series with an evening of signature songs and holiday favorites.

“Amahl and the Night Visitors” Community Music Center, 544 Capp; 826-8670. Sun, 11:30am. Free. The Ina Chalis Opera Ensemble presents this one-hour family-friendly Christmas opera by Gian-Carlo Menotti.

“Bijou” Martuni’s, Four Valencia; 241-0205, www.dragatmartunis.com. Sun, 7pm. $5. An eclectic weekly cabaret.

On Broadway Dinner Theater 435 Broadway; 291-0333, www.broadwaystudios.com. Thurs-Sat, 7pm. Ongoing. SF’s most talented singers, artists, and performers combine interactive shows with dining and dessert.

“A Cathedral Christmas” Grace Cathedral, 1100 California; 392-4400, www.cityboxoffice.com. Sat-Sun, 3pm; Dec 21, 7pm. Through Dec 21. $15-$50. Celebrate the season with the Choir of Men and boys with orchestra, featuring their signature performances of favorite carols, along with sacred masterpieces and yuletide classics.

“A Chanticleer Christmas” St. Ignatius Church, 650 Parker; 392-4400, www.chanticleer.org. Sun, 8pm. Check Web for ticket prices. Also performances Sat in Oakland, Tues in Petaluma, Wed in Berkeley, and Dec 19 in San Francisco. The internationally renowned 12-man a cappella singing ensemble returns home with its critically acclaimed holiday concert.

“A Christmas Memory” Theatre Artaud, 450 Florida; 552-4100, www.therhino.org. Mon, 7pm. Check Web for price. Theatre Rhinoceros in collaboration with Word-for-Word presents Truman Capote’s humorous and heart-breaking tale.

“Cora’s Holiday Hotpad” EXIT Theatre, 156 Eddy; 673-3847, www.theexit.org. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. $15-$20. EXIT Theatre’s writer/performer-in-residence Sean Owens returns as Cora Values.

“An Evening with Lucie Arnaz” Rrazz Room, Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason; (866) 468-3399, www.therrazzroom.com. Wed-Sun, 7pm. $45-$50. The daughter of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz brings her new show to SF.

Full Spectrum Improvisation The Marsh, 1062 Valencia; 564-4115, www.themarsh.org. Tues, 7:30pm. $10-$15. Lucky Dog Theatre performs in its ongoing series of spontaneous theatre shows.

“Ghosts Walks” Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Forum, 701 Mission; www.ybca.org. Thurs, 7:30pm. Free. As part of the San Francisco Mime Troupe 50th Anniversary Exhibition Birthday Bash, the mime troupe will revive Ghosts, seen only once at the December 1981 opening of the Moscone Center.

“The Greatest Bubble Show on Earth” The Marsh, 1062 Valencia; (800) 838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $7-$10. Dec 13, 20, and 27, 11am. The Marsh Presents Louis Pearl, the Amazing Bubble Man, in this fun show suitable for all ages.

“Mission Dolores Basilica Choir’s 18th Candlelight Christmas Concert” Mission Dolores Basilica, 3321 16th St; 621-8203, www.missiondolores.org. Sun, 5pm. $15-$25. The choir will perform a stirring and inspiring experience that promises to be the perfect way to usher in the season.

“Monday Night ForePlays” Studio250, Off-Market, 965 Mission; www.pianofight.com. Mon, 8pm. Through Dec 21. $20. PinaoFight’s female-driven variety show extends into December with new sketches, dance numbers, and musical performances.

New Zealand Choir and Orchestra St. Mary’s Cathedral, 1111 Gough; 567-2020 ext 213, www.cathedral.org.nz. Tues, 7:30pm. 50 members of the Choir and Orchestra of the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament, Christchurch, New Zealand, will present Part One of Handel’s Messiah.

“Nocturnal Butterflies” Z Space at Theater Artaud, 450 Florida; (434) 535-2896, www.avykproductions.com. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Check Web for price. Erika Tsimbrovsky/Avy K Productions presents this multimedia dance performance dedicated to Vaslav Nijinsky.

“The Whirling Dervishes” Palace of Fine Arts Theatre, 3301 Lyon; 563-6504, www.palaceoffinearts.org. Fri, 8pm. $25-$45. California Institute of Integral Studies presents these master musicians from Turkey led by Jelaleddin Loras.

“Tony and Tina’s Wedding” Hornblowre Cruises. 788-8866, www.hornblower.com. $25-$129. Fri, 7:30pm. Hornblower hosts the popular Italian-wedding themed dinner theater show.

BAY AREA

Cantare Con Vivo Merritt College Student Lounge, 12500 Campus Drive, Oakl; www.cantareconvivo.org. Sat, 5 and 7:30pm. $50. The 23-voice Cantare Chamber Ensemble will present an array of Christmas art songs, soothing lullabies, and festive carols while listeners enjoy a catered dinner by candlelight.

“The Christmas Revels” Scottis Rite Theater, 1547 Lakeside, Oakl; (510) 452-8800, www.calrevels.org. Fri, 7:30pm; Sat-Sun, 1 and 5pm. Through Dec 20. $12-$50. Experience the music, dance, and folklore of 19th century Bavaria with this beloved Bay Area holiday tradition.

“Clerestory: Cancion de Navidad” St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, 2300 Bancroft, Berk; clerestory.org. Sat, 8pm. (Also Sun in SF). $10-$17. The Bay Area’s acclaimed male vocal ensemble performs festive Christmas songs and familiar carols from Spain and the Americas.

“Hubba Hubba Revue” Uptown, 1928 Telegraph, Oakl; www.hubbahubbarevue.com. Mon, 10pm. Ongoing. $5. Scantily clad ladies shake their stuff at this weekly burlesque showcase.

“Let Us Break Bread Together” Paramount Theatre, 2025 Broadway, Oakl; (510) 836-1981, www.oebs.org. Sun, 4pm. $10-$40. Oakland East Bay Symphony presents its annual holiday concert.

“Old Chestnuts, New Fire!” St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 114 Montecito, Oakl; 979-5779, www.stpaulsoakland.org. Sun, 4pm. $19-$30. San Francisco Choral Artists present a tantalizing alternative to traditional December choral concerts.

“Special Centennial Christmas Concert” First Church of Christ, Scientist, 2619 Dwight, Berk; www.1stchurchberkeley.org. Sun, 2:30pm. Free. Organist William Ludtke, three soloists, the chamber choir, and hand bell quartet will celebrate Bernard Maybeck’s masterpiece church building with a full scale Christmas concert.

“Traditional Marimba” La Pena Cultural Center, 3105 Shattuck, Berk; (510) 849-2568, www.anaitmar.com. Sat, 7:30pm. $12-$15. Singer Ana Nitmar and Guatemalan Folkoric Dance Groups perform traditional marimba music at this event also featuring a nativity scene exhibit and holiday drinks.

COMEDY

Annie’s Social Club 917 Folsom, SF; www.sfstandup.com. Tues, 6:30pm, ongoing. Free. Comedy Speakeasy is a weekly stand-up comedy show with Jeff Cleary and Chad Lehrman.

“Big City Improv” Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; (510) 595-5597, www.bigcityimprov.com. Fri, 10pm, ongoing. $15-$20. Big City Improv performs comedy in the style of “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”

Brainwash 1122 Folsom; 861-3663. Thurs, 7pm, ongoing. Free. Tony Sparks hosts San Francisco’s longest running comedy open mike.

Club Deluxe 1511 Haight; 552-6949, www.clubdeluxesf.com. Mon, 9pm, ongoing. Free. Various local favorites perform at this weekly show.

Clubhouse 414 Mason; www.clubhousecomedy.com. Prices vary. Scantily Clad Comedy Fri, 9pm. Stand-up Project’s Pro Workout Sat, 7pm. Naked Comedy Sat, 9pm. Frisco Improv Show and Jam Sun, 7pm. Ongoing.

Cobbs 915 Columbus; 928-4320. Fri-Sat, 8 and 10:15pm. $22.50. Featuring Greg Giraldo from “Friday Night Stand-Up” and “Root of All Evil.”

“Comedy Master Series” Blue Macaw, 2565 Mission; www.comedymasterseries.com. Mon, 6pm. Ongoing. $20. The new improv comedy workshop includes training by Debi Durst, Michael Bossier, and John Elk.

“Comedy on the Square” SF Playhouse, 533 Sutter; 646-0776, www.comedyonthesquare.com. Sun, 8:30pm, through Dec. Tony Sparks and Frisco Fred host this weekly stand-up comedy showcase.

“Comedy Returns” El Rio, 3158 Mission; www.koshercomedy.com. Mon, 8pm. $7-$20. Comedian/comedy producer Lisa Geduldig presents this weekly multicultural, multi-everything comedy show.

Danny Dechi & Friends Rockit Room, 406 Clement; 387-6343. Tues, 8pm. Ongoing. Free.

“Improv Society” Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; www.improvsociety.com. Sat, 10pm, ongoing, $15. Improv Society presents comic and musical theater.

Punch Line San Francisco 444 Battery; www.punchlinecomedyclub.com. Check Website for times and prices.

Purple Onion 140 Columbus; 1-800-838-3006, www.purpleonionlive.com. Call for days and times.

Rrazz Room Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason; (866) 468-3399, www.therrazzroom.com."

“Raw Stand-up Project” SFCC, 414 Mason, Fifth Flr; www.sfcomedycollege.com. Sat, 7pm, ongoing. “Scott Capurro” SF Playhouse, 533 Sutter; 677-9596, www.sfplayhouse.org. Sun, 7:30pm. $20. The stand up comic and star of She Stoops to Comedy presents this one-night-only event.

BAY AREA “Bill Santiago’s The Immaculate Big Bang” La Pena Cultural Center, 3105 Shattuck, Berk; www.billsantiago.com. Fri, 8pm. $10-$12. Comedian Bill Santiago goes in search of God. “Comedy Off Broadway Oakland” Washington Inn, 495 10th St, Oakl; (510) 452-1776, www.comedyoffbroadwayoakland.com. Fri, 9pm. Ongoing. $8-$10. Comedians featured on Comedy Central, HBO, BET, and more perform every week. SPOKEN WORD Anselm Berrigan with Norma Cole City Lights Bookstore, 261 Columbus; 362-1901, www.citylights.com. Thurs, 7pm. The poet will read from Free Cell. “Does the Secret Mind Whisper” Koret Auditorium, 100 Larkin. Sun, 1pm. Free. Justin Desmangles hosts a celebration of the life, mission, and legacy of poet Bob Kaufman. Writers with Drinks Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St; www.writerswithdrinks.com. Sat, 7:30pm. $3-$5. Charlie Jane Anders hosts this monthly event, this time featuring Dan Fante, Joshua Mohr, Mark Coggins, Mollena Williams, and Seanan McGuire.

Psychic Dream Astrology

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ARIES
March 21-April 19
Your greatest strength rests in your vulnerabilities, so cut the macho crap and acknowledge how you really feel. Being vulnerable is not a bad thing; it’s where you’re most open. Instead of running around like a chicken with its head cut off, see if you can make peace with where you’re at and go from there.

TAURUS
April 20-May 20
Listening to your inner wisdom is a beautiful thing — unless your inner advisor’s voice is all twisted up with doubt and fear. You’re struggling to see the whole picture by staring at each individual piece of the puzzle. Try playing around with how they fit together, since no one piece of your life has all the answers you seek.

GEMINI
May 21-June 21
You’ve got the budget, the actors, and the location, but not the script. All the good fortune in the world won’t help you unless you have a vision (which you’ve got) and a strategy (which you need). Don’t get overwhelmed, get to work! Even if you come at things a little ass-backward, it doesn’t mean you can’t pull off something that reflects you.

CANCER
June 22-July 22
This week you may have to do some stuff you really don’t want to do, but that you can see merit in. Focus on self care as you navigate those waters. Don’t allow pride to distract you from what is truly important. Make choices that reflect your needs, and if you feel off center, right your balance.

LEO
July 23-Aug. 22
Don’t overthink the details, Leo. You have so much to offer, but are getting mired in so many ideas that you are losing perspective. Remember why it’s all so important to you, whether you’re trying to make a buck, maintain love, or just finish something. Allow time for things to gestate so they develop right.

VIRGO
Aug. 23-Sept. 22
There’s a fine line between emotionalism and anxiety. And if you assume that all your emotions are some kind of pathology, that line becomes shakier and thinner all the time. Leave your ticker alone. This week your anxieties are off the charts, but your emotions are clear as a bell. Check in with your heart.

LIBRA
Sept. 23-Oct. 22
You’re out of control and things are moving at break-neck speed, which is not helping matters. Don’t resist change. Instead, try and make it as productive as possible. You’re in for some major destruction — or massive creation — so participate in your life to the best of your ability. Damage-control will only take you so far.

SCORPIO
Oct. 23-Nov. 21
It is really hard to be vulnerable when hard shit is going down. It’s way easier to hold a stance that will give you more power, even if it’s not authentically what you feel. This week be real, even if it’s not the most strategic move. Your vulnerabilities can’t control you when you put them on the table.

SAGITTARIUS
Nov. 22-Dec. 21
Great opportunities will arise if you can stay true to yourself, Sag. This week’s celestial challenge for you is to stay emotionally checked in so that you can be clear about what to be true to. That doesn’t mean that you have to slow down or only feel some emotions. Practice remaining present for whatever comes up instead of distracting yourself from your heart.

CAPRICORN
Dec. 22-Jan. 19
Changing others is a waste of your energy, as the only real change you can affect is with yourself. Focus your scrutiny inward this week, but try to self-reflect without the judgment. Appreciate how far you’ve come and learn from the path behind you so you can plot a future course that suits who you’ve become.

AQUARIUS
Jan. 20-Feb. 18
Coping with your fear of failure can be healing if you come at it head on. You have all you need to spark trepidation, but also to deal with it in a constructive way. No matter what your circumstances are, you always have choices. Make creative and sustainable ones, and nurture your fearfulness as part of the process.

PISCES
Feb. 19-March 20
This week may smack you down to some emo bottom, but it’s all part of the universe’s master plan to get you to erect some much-deserved boundaries. Don’t wallow in bad vibes. Instead, take care of your bruises and scrapes till you’re able to stand up for yourself without creating unnecessary drama. Don’t react, just act.

Jessica Lanyadoo has been a psychic dreamer for 15 years. Check out her Web site at www.lovelanyadoo.com or contact her for an astrology or intuitive reading at (415) 336-8354 or dreamyastrology@gmail.com.

alt.sex.column: Winter Wonderland

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By Andrea Nemerson. Email your questions to andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com. Read more of Andrea’s columns here.

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Dear Andrea:

Every year I dread this season, not because I particularly hate the holidays, but because the short, dark days depress me. I talked to a therapist friend and she doesn’t think I have SAD, and says lots of people feel a little gloomy when the days get short. I also notice that I have almost no libido this time of year. I’m single and I usually date, but when it gets dark so early, I find that I just can’t be bothered. I don’t want to meet anyone because I don’t feel like having sex or any sort of intimacy, really. I just want to sit on my couch in my pajamas. Do I have "seasonal libido disorder"? Is this kind of seasonal swing a common thing? I also find I get the stereotypical "spring fever" and can’t wait to go out and meet guys (I’m a girl) when the days get longer. Any ideas?

Love,

Poorly Seasoned

Dear Poorly:

You’re not the only one! Even people who need look no further than the other end of the couch often experience a libido-slump in the winter. For the single, who may have to actually leave the house to find a prospective mate, the hurdles are higher. There are all sorts of possible factors, including less exercise and its possibly associated weight gain and/or lack of energy, as well as the bigger push it takes to get up and bundle yourself into cold-weather gear and slog through sleet or slush, as opposed to merely flitting out the door in a darling little sundress whenever you feel like it.

“Hit job” on Marin Clean Energy

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By Rebecca Bowe

In a report officially released yesterday, the Marin County Civil Grand Jury tore apart Marin Clean Energy, a community-choice aggregation program that is intended to reduce the region’s greenhouse-gas emissions to address climate change.

The Civil Grand Jury report called the project “costly and extremely risky” and recommended that the whole effort be abandoned. It criticized the program as adding another layer of bureaucracy at a time when resources are limited, and described it as being plagued with uncertainty. The report was titled “Pull the Plug,” and it warned of risks ranging from market volatility to legal costs if Pacific Gas & Electric should take steps to attack the effort once it is launched.

“The county and all participating municipalities of Marin Energy Authority should step away from their adversarial political posturing and seriously work with foundations, federal, state and local agencies and PG&E to foster cooperation,” the Civil Grand Jury report recommended.

The report was released on the same day as the start of the historic United Nations Climate Change Conference in Copenhapen, and coincided with the Environmental Protection Agency’s ruling that greenhouse gases endanger human health. MEA Chair and Marin County Supervisor Charles McGlashan said the timing was poignant, and called the civil grand jury report “a purposeful hit job by a biased group of conservative people in the county” that is “riddled with errors and misinformation.”

According to McGlashan, energy customers who accept the transition to MCE would automatically begin using electricity that is 25 percent greenhouse-gas-free, as opposed to PG&E’s 15 percent GHG-free power, with no difference in price.

A rockin’ Balkan good time

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By Megan Gordon

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Brass Menazeri play this weekend’s Kafana Balkan.

Kafana Balkan is part sweaty dance party, part traditional Serbian cultural event, part circus show, and part night at the bar – all benefitting a worthy cause. Though the event — held next at Blue Macaw on Saturday, December 5 — may be hard define, it’s probably even harder not to have a good time when attending.

There’s always dancing, there’s always a variety of folks coming together to celebrate the vibrance of the Yugoslavian culture, and organizers try to have the traditional Rakiya liquor on hand. The ever-talented Brass Menazeri is the resident house band. (Specializing in gypsy powerhouse music, their Web site states, “the energy is infectious—toes tap, bodies slam, sweat flies as vital energy radiates from the dance floor.”) How could you go wrong?

The event was the brainchild of Zelijko Petkovic and Boban Djurkozic, both Serbs who conceived of the gathering as a way for local Yugoslavians could come together and celebrate. Then Joe Mama of the Humanitarian Circus got involved, helping with promotions and marketing and eventually stepping into the driver’s seat.

Stage Listings

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Stage listings are compiled by Molly Freedenberg. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks. For the complete listings, go to www.sfbg.com.
THEATER

OPENING

Better Homes and Ammo (a post apocalyptic suburban tale) EXIT Stage Left, 156 Eddy; www.brownpapertickets.com/event/86070. $15-$19. Opens Thurs/3. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 19. No Nude Men Productions presents the end-of-the-world premiere of sketchy comedy veteran Wylie Herman’s first full length play.
A Christmas Carol American Conservatory Theater, 415 Geary; 749-2228, www.act-sf.org. $14-$102. Previews Thurs/3-Sun/6. Opens Tues/8. Days and times vary. Through Dec 27. A.C.T. presents the sparkling, music-infused celebration of goodwill by Charles Dickens.
Dames at Sea New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $22-$40. Previews Fri/4-Dec 11. Opens Dec 12. Runs Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 17. NCTC presents the Off-Broadway musical hit.
I <Heart> SF South of Market home stage, 505 Natoma; (800) 838-3006, www.boxcartheatre.org. Opens Thurs/3. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 19. Boxcar Theatre presents an improvised unabashed stage poem to all things San Francisco.
Santaland Diaries Off Market Theater, 965 Mission; (800) 838-3006, www.brownpapertickets.com/event/89315. $25. Opens Wed/2. Runs Mon-Sun, 8 and 10pm. Through Dec 30. Combined Artform and Beck-n-Call present the annual production of David Sedaris’ story, starring John Michael Beck and David Sinaiko.

Bay Area
Aurelia’s Oratorio Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Roda Theatre, 2015 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, berkeleyrep.org. $33-$71. Previews Fri/4, Sat/5, Sun/6, and Tues/8. Opens Dec 9. Runs Tues, Thurs, Fri, and Sat, 8pm; Wed, 7pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Jan 24. Berkeley Rep presents Victoria Thierree Chaplin’s dazzling display of stage illusion.
The Threepenny Opera Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby, Berk; www.shotgunplayers.org. $18-$30. Previews Thurs/3-Fri/4. Opens Sat/5. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Jan 17. Wednesday performances begin Jan 6. Shotgun Players present Bertolt Brecht’s beggar’s opera.

 

ONGOING

Bare Nuckle Brava Theater, 2781 24th St; 647-2822, www.brava.org. $15. Thurs/3, 8pm. Brava Theater presents a solo theater performance written and performed by Anthem Salgado and directed by Evren Odcikin.
Beautiful Thing New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972. $22-40. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Jan 3. New Conservatory Theatre Center performs Jonathan Harvey’s story of romance between two London teens.
Cotton Patch Gospel Next Stage, 1620 Gough; (800) 838-3006, www.custommade.org. $10-$28. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Dec 19. Custom Made presents Harry Chapin’s progressive and musically joyous look at the Jesus story through a modern lens.
*East 14th Marsh, 1062 Valencia; 1-800-838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $20-35. Fri, 9pm; Sat, 8:30pm. Through Dec 19. Don Reed’s solo play returns the Bay Area native to the place of his vibrant, physically dynamic, consistently hilarious coming-of-age story, set in 1970s Oakland. (Avila)
I Heart Hamas: And Other Things I’m Afraid to Tell You Off Market Theaters, 965 Mission; www.ihearthamas.com. $20. Thurs and Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 12. Jennifer Jajeh’s play is decidedly not a history lesson on the colonial project known as “the Israeli-Palestinian conflict” or, for that matter, Hamas. But as the laudably mischievous title suggests, Jajeh is out to upset some staid opinions, stereotypes and confusions that carry increasingly significant moral and political consequences for us all. (Avila)
Jubilee Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson; 255-8207, www.42ndstmoon.org. $34-$44. Wed, 7pm; Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 6pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Dec 13. 42nd Street Moon presents this tune-filled 1935 musical spoof of royalty, revolution, and ribald rivalries.
Let It Snow! SF Playhouse Stage 2, 533 Sutter; 677-9596, www.sfplayhouse.org. $8-$20. Thurs-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 3 and 8pm. Through Dec 19. The Un-scripted Theater Company lovingly presents an entirely new musical every night based on audience participation.
The Life of Brian Dark Room Theater, 2263 Mission; 401-7987, darkroomsf.com. $20. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 19. The Dark Room Theater presents a movie parody turned into a theatrical parody.
*Loveland The Marsh, 1074 Valencia; 826-5750, www.themarsh.org. $15-$50. Thurs, 8pm; Sat, 5pm. Through Dec 12. Los Angeles–based writer-performer Ann Randolph returns to the Marsh with a new solo play partly developed during last year’s Marsh run of her memorable Squeeze Box. (Avila)
“The Me, Myself and I Series” Brava Theater, 2781 24th St; 647-2822, www.brava.org. Days, times, and ticket prices vary. Runs through Thurs/3. Four different tales from theatre/performance artists like D’Lo, Jeanne Haynes, Rachel Parker, and Anthem Salgado will surprise and awaken your imagination.
Ovo Grand Chapiteau, AT&T Park; (800) 450-1480, www.cirquedusoleil.com. $45.50-$135. Tues-Thurs, 8pm; Fri-Sat, 4 and 8pm; Sun, 1 and 5pm. Through Jan 24. Cirque du Soleil presents its latest big top touring production.
Pearls Over Shanghai Hypnodrome, 575 Tenth St.; 1-800-838-3006, www.thrillpeddlers.com. $30-69. Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Jan 23. Thrillpeddlers presents this revival of the legendary Cockettes’ 1970 musical extravaganza.
Pulp Scripture Off Market Theater, 965 Mission; www.pulpscripture.com. $20. Sat, 10:30pm; Sun, 4pm. Through Dec 13. Original Sin Productions and PianoFight bring the bad side of the Good Book back to live in William Bivins’ comedy.
“ReOrient 2009” Thick House, 1695 18th St; 626-4061, www.goldenthread.org. $12-$25. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Dec 13. Golden Thread Productions celebrates the tenth anniversary of its festival of short plays exploring the Middle East.
She Stoops to Comedy SF Playhouse, 533 Sutter; 677-9596, www.sfplayhouse.org. $30-$40. Tues, 7pm; Wed-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 3 and 8pm. Through Jan 9. SF Playhouse continues their seventh season with the Bay Area premiere of David Greenspan’s gender-bending romp.
“Stateless” Jewish Theatre, 470 Florida; 292-1233, www.tjt-sf.org. $15-$18. Thurs/3-Sat/5, 8pm; Sun/6, 7pm. Zeek presents poetry, hosted by Dan Wolf and Joanna Steinhardt.
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Actors Theatre of SF, 855 Bush; 345-1287, www.actorstheatresf.org. $26-$40. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Dec 19. Before throwing around terms like “dysfunctional, bi-polar, codependent,” to describe the human condition became fodder for every talk show host and reality TV star, people with problems were expected to keep them tight to the chest, like war medals, to be brought out in the privacy of the homestead for the occasional airing. For George and Martha, the sort of middle-aged, academically-entrenched couple you might see on any small University campus, personal trauma is much more than a memory—it’s a lifestyle, and their commitment to receiving and inflicting said trauma is unparalleled. The claws-out audacity of mercurial Martha (Rachel Klyce) is superbly balanced by a calmly furious George (Christian Phillips), and their almost vaudevillian energy easily bowls over boy genius Biologist, Nick (Alessandro Garcia) and his gormless, “slim-hipped” wife Honey (Jessica Coghill), who at times exhibit such preternatural stillness they seem very much like the toys their game-playing hosts are using them as to wage their private war of attrition; their nervous reactions, though well-timed, coming off as mechanical in comparison to the practiced ease with which Klyce and Phillips relentlessly tear down the walls of illusion. But thanks to George and Martha’s menacing intensity, and self-immoutf8g love, this Virginia Woolf does not fail to hold the attentions of its audience captive, despite being a grueling (though never tedious) three-and-a-half hours long. (Gluckstern)
Bay Area
*Boom Marin Theatre Company, 397 Miller Ave, Mill Valley; 388-5208, www.marinthetre.org. $31-$51. Thurs/3-Sat/5, 8pm; Wed/2, 7:30pm; Sun/6, 7pm. Marin Theatre Company presents the Bay Area premiere of Peter Sinn Nachtrieb’s explosive comedy about the end of the world.
*FAT PIG Aurora Theatre, 2081 Addison, Berk; (510) 843-4822, auroratheatre.org. $15-$55. Tues, 7pm; Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Dec 13. Playwright Neil LaBute has a reputation for cruelty—or rather the unflinching study thereof—but as much as everyday sociopathy is central to Fat Pig, this fine, deceptively straightforward play’s real subject is human frailty. (Avila)
*Large Animal Games La Val’s Subterranean, 1834 Euclid, Berk; www.impacttheatre.com. $10-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Dec 12. Impact Theatre co-presents (with Atlanta’s Dad’s Garage) the world premiere of a new play by Atlanta-based Steve Yockey. (Avila)

PERFORMANCE

“An Old Fashioned Christmas” Old First Church, 1751 Sacramento; 474-1608, www.oldfirstchurch.org. Sat, 4pm. $12-$15. The internationally acclaimed Ragazzi Boys Chorus performs haunting and mysterious classics alongside sing-along carols.
Anonymous 4 Herbst Theatre, 401 Van Ness; 398-6449, www.performances.org. Thurs, 8pm. $32-$42. The a cappella group performs medieval English carols and American Christmas songs.
“Body Music Festival” Various SF and East Bay venues. www.crosspulse.com. Through Sun, various times and prices. Keith Terry and Crosspulse present the second annual six-day global event featuring concerts, workshops, teacher trainings, and open mics.
“A Brass and Organ Christmas” Grace Cathedral, 1100 California; 749-6364, gracecathedral.org. Mon, 7pm. $15-$50. The best of Bay Area brass brings down the house in this annual holiday fest.
Golden Gate Boys Choir and Bellringers Cristo Rey Monastery, 721 Parker; www.ggbc.org. Sun, 2pm.  Free. The Golden Gate Boys Choir and Bellringers perform a special Christmas concert.
“KML’s Holidays with Class” Intersection for the Arts, 446 Valencia; killingmylobster.com. Fri-Sun, 8pm. $15. Killing My Lobster presents a staged reading of holiday-themed comedic sketches written by alums of KML’s writing classes.
“Joy to the World!” MCC, 150 Eureka; www.brownpapertickets.com/event/85853. Fri, 8pm. $20. Gay Asian Pacific Alliance presents GAPA Men’s Chorus in a global, multilingual holiday concert featuring Likha Pilipino Folk Ensemble and the Likha Rondalla string ensemble.
“Left Coast Leaning Festival” Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Forum, 701 Mission; 978-2787, www.ybca.org. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. $10-$35. Youth Speaks’ Living Word Project and YBCA present a three-day festival celebrating West Coast dance, theater, and music.
Magnificat St. Mark’s Lutheran Church, 1111 O’Farrell; www.magnificatbaroque.com. Sun, 4pm. $12-$35. Magnificat invites you to explore the new music of the Early Baroque.
“Return of the Sun” San Francisco Jewish Community Center, 3200 California; 292-1233, www.jccsf.org. Sat, 11 and 2pm. $15-$22. Brenda Wong Aoki, Mark Izu, and World Arts West present a masterful blend of dynamic storytelling, music, and dance.
“Rockin’ the Gay 50s” Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th St; www.gracelandgirls.com. Sat, 8pm. Sun, 2pm. $8-$20. The Graceland Girls present this funny satire on gay adolescence in the 50s, the way many wish it had been.

Music Listings

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Music listings are compiled by Paula Connelly and Cheryl Eddy. Since club life is unpredictable, it’s a good idea to call ahead to confirm bookings and hours. Prices are listed when provided to us. Submit items at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

WEDNESDAY 2

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

*Baroness, Earthless, Iron Age Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $14.
Black Crowes, Truth and Salvage Company Fillmore. 8pm, $51.50.
Dashboard Confessional, New Found Glory Slim’s. 8:30pm, $28.
“Duane Allman Birthday Tribute” Boom Boom Room. 9:30pm, $10. With members of Poor Man’s Whiskey, New Monsoon, Tracorum, and more.
Hiwatters, Middle Class Murder, DariusTX Red Devil Lounge. 8pm, $5-15.
*King City, Mission Street Stranglers, Black Crown String Band Annie’s Social Club. 8pm, $6.
Mass Fiction, Actors, Farewell Typewriter Elbo Room. 9pm, $6.
Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band, Growlers, My First Earthquake Rickshaw Stop. 8pm, $12.
Luke Rathbone Hotel Utah. 9pm, $12.
David Jacob Strain Biscuits and Blues. 8pm, $15.
“Ten Out of Tenn” Independent. 8pm, $15. With Trent Dabbs, Matthew Perryman Jones, Jeremy Lister, and more.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

“B3 Wednesdays” Coda. 9pm, $7. With David Mathews Trio featuring Barry Finnerty.
Cat’s Corner Savanna Jazz. 7pm, $5-10.
Alasdair Fraser and Natalie Haas Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8pm, $22.
Gil Cohen Jazz Duo Moussy’s, 1345 Bush, SF; (415) 441-1802. 6pm, free.
Ben Marcato and the Mondo Combo Top of the Mark. 7:30pm, $10.
Marcus Shelby Jazz Jam Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.
Realistic Orchestra Yoshi’s San Francisco. 10:30pm, $14.
Tin Cup Serenade Le Colonial, 20 Cosmo Place, SF; (415) 931-3600. 7pm, free.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Gregory Alan Isakov, Patrick Park Café du Nord. 9:30pm, $12.
Bluegrass Country Jam Plough and Stars. 9pm. With Jeanie and Chuck.
“Long Night’s Moon presented by Singbird Festival” El Valenciano, 152 Valencia, SF; (415) 826-9561. 8:30pm, $7. Featuring Uni and Her Ukulele, Dina Maccabee Band, Whiskey and Women, and Paper Crocodiles.

DANCE CLUBS

Afreaka! Attic, 3336 24th St; souljazz45@gmail.com. 10pm, free. Psychedelic beats from Brazil, Turkey, India, Africa, and across the globe with MAKossa.
Booty Call Q-Bar, 456 Castro; www.bootycallwednesdays.com. 9pm. Juanita Moore hosts this dance party, featuring DJ Robot Hustle.
DJ Rebellious Jukebox Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, free.
Hands Down! Bar on Church. 9pm, free. With DJs Claksaarb, Mykill, and guests spinning indie, electro, house, and bangers.
Hump Night Elbo Room. 9pm, $5. The week’s half over – bump it out at Hump Night!
Jam Wednesday Infusion Lounge. 10pm, free. DJ Slick Dee.
Qoöl 111 Minna Gallery. 5-10pm, $5. Pan-techno lounge with DJs Spesh, Gil, Hyper D, and Jondi.
RedWine Social Dalva. 9pm-2am, free. DJ TophOne and guests spin outernational funk and get drunk.
Respect Wednesdays End Up. 10pm, $5. Rotating DJs Daddy Rolo, Young Fyah, Irie Dole, I-Vier, Sake One, Serg, and more spinning reggae, dancehall, roots, lovers rock, and mash ups.
Synchronize Il Pirata, 2007 16th St.; (415) 626-2626. 10pm, free. Psychedelic dance music with DJs Helios, Gatto Matto, Psy Lotus, Intergalactoid, and guests.

THURSDAY 3

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Agent Orange, Jokes for Feelings, Black Dream Thee Parkside. 9pm, $10.
Alma Desnuda, Highway Robbers, Grace Woods, Earl J. Rivard Great American Music Hall. 8pm, $13.
Soul Burners Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.
Cold Cave, Former Ghosts, Veil Veil Vanish Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $10.
Grannies, Turbonegra, Inoculators, Tempramentals Annie’s Social Club. 8pm, $7.
Leigh Gregory and Memory’s Mystic Band, Martin Bisi, Dominique Leone Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $7.
“A Holiday Benefit: Music for the Kids” Independent. 8pm, $20-35. With Greasetraps. Benefits buildOn.
Less Than Jake, Fishbone, Cage Regency Ballroom. 7pm, $22.
New Maps of the West, Honey, Lambs Bollyhood Café. 8pm, $5.
NOFX, Wax, Dead to Me, Nathan Maxwell and the Original Bunny Gang Slim’s. 8pm, $40.
Split Lip Rayfield, Kemo Sabe Rickshaw Stop. 8pm, $15.
Li’l Dave Thompson Biscuits and Blues. 8pm, $15.
bay area
Throwback Thurs 4 Last Day Saloon, 120 5th St., Santa Rosa; (707) 545-2343. 9pm, $12. Featuring Skee-lo, Rappin’ 4-Tay, and At All Costs.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Terry Disley Washington Square Bar and Grill, 1707 Powell, SF; (415) 433-1188. 7pm, free.
Eric Kurtzrock Trio Ana Mandara, Ghirardelli Square, 891 Beach, SF; (415) 771-6800. 7:30pm, free.
Laurent Fourgo Le Colonial, 20 Cosmo Place, SF; (415) 931-3600. 7:30pm, free.
Goapele Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $26.
Marlina Teich Trio Brickhouse, 426 Brannan, SF; (415) 820-1595. 7-10pm, free.
Stompy Jones Top of the Mark. 7:30pm, $10.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Al Marshal Quintet Coda. 9pm, $7.
49 Special Atlas Café. 8pm, free.
Valerie Orth Dolores Park Café. 8pm, $10 sliding scale.
Shannon Céilí Band Plough and Stars. 9pm.
“Songwriters in the Round” Hotel Utah. 8pm, $8. With Heather Combs, Damond Moodie, Jesse Brewster, and Rick Hardin.
“Tibet Day” Presentation Theater, University of San Francisco, 2350 Turk, SF; (415) 422-5093. Documentary viewing and concert.

DANCE CLUBS

Afrolicious Elbo Room. 9:30pm, $5-6. DJs Pleasuremaker, Señor Oz, J Elrod, B Lee, and guests Nappy G and Motion Potion spin Afrobeat, Tropicália, electro, samba, and funk.
Caribbean Connection Little Baobab, 3388 19th St; 643-3558. 10pm, $3. DJ Stevie B and guests spin reggae, soca, zouk, reggaetón, and more.
Club Jammies Edinburgh Castle. 10pm, free. DJs EBERrad and White Mice spinning reggae, punk, dub, and post punk.
Drop the Pressure Underground SF. 6-10pm, free. Electro, house, and datafunk highlight this weekly happy hour.
Funky Rewind Skylark. 9pm, free. DJ Kung Fu Chris, MAKossa, and rotating guest DJs spin heavy funk breaks, early hip-hop, boogie, and classic Jamaican riddims.
Heat Icon Ultra Lounge. 10pm, free. Hip-hop, R&B, reggae, and soul.
Holy Thursday Underground SF. 10pm, $5. Bay Area electronic hip hop producers showcase their cutting edge styles monthly.
Kick It Bar on Church. 9pm. Hip-hop with DJ Jorge Terez.
Koko Puffs Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary; 885-4788. 10pm, free. Dubby roots reggae and Jamaican funk from rotating DJs.
Lacquer Beauty Bar. 10pm-2am, free. DJs Mario Muse and Miss Margo bring the electro. Mestiza Bollywood Café, 3376 19th St., SF; (415) 970-0362. 10pm, free. Showcasing progressive Latin and global beats with DJ Juan Data.
Popscene 330 Ritch. 10pm. With a live performance by stellastarr*.
Represent Icon Lounge. 10pm, $5. With Resident DJ Ren the Vinyl Archaeologist and guest. Rock Candy Stud. 9pm-2am, $5. Luscious Lucy Lipps hosts this electro-punk-pop party with music by ReXick.
Solid Club Six. 9pm, $5. With resident DJ Daddy Rolo and rotating DJs Mpenzi, Shortkut, Polo Mo’qz and Fuze spinning roots, reggae, and dancehall.
Studio SF Triple Crown. 9pm, $5. Keeping the Disco vibe alive with authentic 70’s, 80’s, and current disco with DJs White Girl Lust, Ken Vulsion, and Sergio.

FRIDAY 4

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

“Battle of the Bands Finals” DNA Lounge. 5:30pm, $12. With Death Between Seasons, Draconian Winter, Gravy Trainwreck, and more.
Black Crowes, Truth and Salvage Company Fillmore. 9pm, $51.50.
Damage Inc, Paradise City, Aaron Pearson Red Devil Lounge. 8pm, $10.
Damn Near Dead Abbey Tavern, 4100 Geary, SF; (415) 221-7767. 9pm, free.
“Dead Hensons Finale Extravaganza” Bottom of the Hill. 9:30pm, $12. With Thunderbleed aka Blind Vengeance and DJ Adam Infantacide.
Dragon Smoke, Ronkat and Katdelic Independent. 9pm, $30.
Forever the Sickets Kids, Rocket Summer, Sing It Loud, My Favorite Highway, Artist vs. Poet Regency Ballroom. 6:30pm, $18.
DJ Lebowitz Madrone Art Bar. 6-9pm, free.
Legendary Stardust Cowboy, Two Tears, Touch-Me-Nots Hemlock Tavern. 9:30pm, $7.
Charlie Musselwhite Biscuits and Blues. 8 and 10pm, $35.
La Plebe, Nothington, Hooks, Frankenstein L.I.V.S. Annie’s Social Club. 8:30pm, $8.
Poi Dog Pondering, Geographer Slim’s. 9pm, $24.
Raw Deluxe Coda. 10pm, $10.
Robin Yukiko Band Brainwash, 1122 Folsom, SF; (415) 861-2663. 8pm, free.
Threes and Nines, Dialectic, Rockodile Hotel Utah. 9pm, $8.
J. Tillman, Pearly Gate Music Great American Music Hall. 9pm, $13.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Audium 9 1616 Bush, SF; (415) 771-1616. 8:30pm, $15.
Black Market Jazz Orchestra Top of the Mark. 9pm, $10.
Eric Kurtzrock Trio Ana Mandara, Ghirardelli Square, 891 Beach, SF; (415) 771-6800. 8pm, free.
“Jazzcracker and Other Delights: Tchaikovsky with a Jazz Twist!” Aidan’s Episcopal Church, 101 Gold Mine Dr, SF; 1-800-838-3006, www.performanceshowcase.com. 8pm, $20. With the Terry Disley Experience.
Lucid Lovers Rex Hotel, 562 Sutter, SF; (415) 433-4434. 6-8pm.
Kally Price Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Las Bomberas de la Bahia, Blanca Sandoval, LoCura Brava Theater, 2781 25th St.; (415) 648-1045. 8pm, $16.
Adrian Emberly Socha Café, 3235 Mission, SF; (415) 643-6848. 8:30pm.
Encuentro del Canto Popular festival Accion Latina, 2958 24th St., SF; (415) 648-1046. Featuring LoCura, Rincon Pabon, De La Fe, and more.
Goapele Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $28.
Kounterfeit Change Rock-It Room. 9pm.
Pine Needles Plough and Stars. 9pm.
Rocky Dawuni and the Revelation Project, Pleasuremaker Band, DJs Jeremy Sole and
Señor Oz Elbo Room. 10pm, $12.

DANCE CLUBS

Activate! Lookout, 3600 16th St; (415) 431-0306. 9pm, $3. Face your demigods and demons at this Red Bull-fueled party.
Bar on Church 9pm. Rotating DJs Zax, Zhaldee, and Nuxx.
Deeper 222 Hyde, 222 Hyde, SF; (415) 345-8222. 9pm, $10. With DJs Jason Short, Moniker, and more spinning dubstep and techno.
Exhale, Fridays Project One Gallery, 251 Rhode Island; (415) 465-2129. 5pm, $5. Happy hour with art, fine food, and music with Vin Sol, King Most, DJ Centipede, and Shane King.
Fat Stack Fridays Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary, SF; (415) 885-4788. 10pm, free. With rotating DJs Romanowski, B-Love, Tomas, Toph One, and Vinnie Esparza.
Floor Score Siberia, 314 11th St., SF; (415) 552-2100. 10pm, $6. With DJs Robot Hustle and Stanley Frank spinning fluoro, disco, and homo all night.
Gay Asian Paradise Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, SF; www.eightsf.com. 9pm, $8. Featuring two dance floors playing dance and hip hop, smoking patio, and 2 for 1 drinks before 10pm.
Look Out Weekend Bambuddha Lounge. 4pm, free. Drink specials, food menu and resident DJs White Girl Lust, Swayzee, Philie Ocean, and more.
M4M Fridays Underground SF. 10pm-2am. Joshua J and Frankie Sharp host this man-tastic party.
Oldies Night Knockout. 9pm, $2-4. Doo-wop, one-hit wonders, and soul with DJs Primo, Daniel, and Lost Cat.
Polaris Mezzanine. 10pm, $20. A night of dubstep, glitch and bass heavy dance music featuring DJs Max Ulis, Ana Sia, Heyoka, Billy the Robot, and more.
Punk Rock and Shlock Karaoke Annie’s Social Club. 9pm-2am, $5. Eileen and Jody bring you songs from multiple genres to butcher: punk, new wave, alternative, classic rock, and more.

SATURDAY 5

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

“Bay Area Derby Girls: Cinco de Malo Prom 2009” Thee Parkside. 9pm, $15.
Black Crowes, Truth and Salvage Company Fillmore. 9pm, $51.50.
Black Hollies, Shys, Hot Lunch Bottom of the Hill. 10pm, $10.
Marcus Foster, Blue Roses Elbo Room. 6pm, $12.
*Husbands, Th’ Losin Streaks, Primitivas El Rio. 10pm, $8.
Midnight Strangers, Spyrals, Tasso Hemlock Tavern. 9:30pm, $6.
*Red Meat, Drunk Horse, East Bay Grease Annie’s Social Club. 9pm.
Sic Wolf, Maniac Martyrs, Lost Puppy Thee Parkside. 3pm, free. Benefit for the Lyon Martin Women’s Clinic.
Two Tears, Ebonics, Dirty Cupcakes Knockout. 5-9pm, $5.
“The Vandals Christmas Formal” Slim’s. 9pm, $16. Also with Voodoo Glow Skulls and Knock Out.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Audium 9 1616 Bush, SF; (415) 771-1616. 8:30pm, $15.
Aram Denesh and the Superhuman Crew Coda. 10pm, $10.
Emily Anne’s Delights Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.
Eric Kurtzrock Trio Ana Mandara, Ghirardelli Square, 891 Beach, SF; (415) 771-6800. 8pm, free.
Goapele Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $28.
“Jazz Jam Session with Uptime Jazz Group” Mocha 101 Café, 1722 Taraval, SF; (415) 702-9869. 3:30-5:30pm, free.
Ricardo Scales Top of the Mark. 9pm, $15.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Adam Aijala, Larry Keel Hotel Utah. 7:30pm, $18.
Anna Ash and the Family Tree Socha Café, 3235 Mission, SF; (415) 643-6848. 8:30pm.
Bluegrass Bonanza Plough and Stars. 9pm.
BRWN BFLO, Bang Data, Rico Pabón and De La Fé Brava Theater, 2781 25th St.; (415) 648-1045. 8pm, $16.
Cirkestra Accordion Apocalypse, 2626 Jennings, SF; (415) 596-5952. 9:30pm, $10.
Encuentro del Canto Popular festival Accion Latina, 2958 24th St., SF; (415) 648-1046. Featuring LoCura, Rincon Pabon, De La Fe, and more.
Go Van Gogh Café International, 508 Haight, SF; (415) 552-7390. 7:30pm, free.
Adrian Legg, Teja Gerken Noe Valley Ministry, 1021 Sanchez, SF; www.noevalleymusicseries.com. 8:15pm, $20.

DANCE CLUBS

Bar on Church 9pm. Rotating DJs Foxxee, Joseph Lee, Zhaldee, Mark Andrus, and Niuxx.
Debaser Knocout. 10pm, $5. Arrive wearing a flannel before 11pm and get in free to this 90s dance party with DJ Jamie Jams and Emdee of Club Neon.
Everlasting Bass 330 Ritch. 10pm, $5-10. Bay Area Sistah Sound presents this party, with DJs Zita and Pam the Funkstress spinning hip-hop, soul, funk, reggae, dancehall, and club classics.
Fire Corner Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary; 885-4788. 9:30pm, free. Rare and outrageous ska, rocksteady, and reggae vinyl with Revival Sound System and guests.
Gemini Disco Underground SF. 10pm, $5. Disco with DJ Derrick Love and Nicky B. spinning deep disco.
HYP Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, SF; www.eightsf.com. 10pm, free. Gay and lesbian hip hop party, featuring DJs spinning the newest in the top 40s hip hop and hyphy.
Leisure Paradise Lounge. 10pm, $7. DJs Omar, Aaron, and Jet Set James spinning classic britpop, mod, 60s soul, and 90s indie.
New Wave City DNA Lounge. 9pm, $7-12. Eighties dance party with Skip and Shindog.
Rebel Girl Rickshaw Stop. 10pm, $5. “Electroindierockhiphop” and 80s dance party for dykes, bois, femmes, and queers with DJ China G and guests.
Saturday Night Soul Party Elbo Room. 10pm, $10. Sixties soul on 45s with DJs Lucky, Phengren Oswald, and Paul Paul.
So Special Club Six. 9pm, $5. DJ Dans One and guests spinning dancehall, reggae, classics, and remixes.
Soundscape Vortex Room, 1082 Howard, SF. With DJs C3PLOS, Brighton Russ, and Nick Waterhouse spinning Soul jazz, boogaloo, hammond grooves, and more.
Spirit Fingers Sessions 330 Ritch. 9pm, free. With DJ Morse Code and live guest performances.

SUNDAY 6

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Black Crowes, Truth and Salvage Company Fillmore. 8pm, $51.50.
Dollyrots, Perfect Machines, Departed Bottom of the Hill. 8:30pm, $10.
Generalissimo, Police Teeth, Truxton Kimo’s. 9pm, $6.
Pat Johnson and the Creeps Knockout. 10pm, $6.
Kit Ruscoe Group, Hydrogen Babies, Nice, Man’s Red Fire, Electric Googie Dawgz Café du Nord. 8pm, $10.
*Marduk, Nachtmystium, Mantic Ritual, Black Anvil, Merrimack DNA Lounge. 8pm, $20.
Rademacher, Golden Ghost, Woolly Moon Hemlock Tavern. 9pm, $6.
Jonathan Richman, Tommy Larkins Great American Music Hall. 8pm, $15.
Johnny Vernazza Biscuits and Blues. 8pm, $15.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Terry Disley Washington Square Bar and Grill, 1707 Powell, SF; (415) 433-1188. 7pm, free.
Noel Jewkes, Josh Workman, Chuck Metcalf Bliss Bar, 4026 24th St, SF; (415) 826-6200. 4:30pm, $10.
Rob Modica and friends Simple Pleasures, 3434 Balboa, SF; (415) 387-4022. 3pm, free.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

“Acoustic Country Christmas” Slim’s. 7pm, $17. With Sara Evans, Darryl Worley, and Mallory Hope.
Jesse DeNatale, Allison Lovejoy Amnesia. 8pm, $7-10.
Goapele Yoshi’s San Francisco. 2 and 7pm, $5-26.
Quin and friends Plough and Stars. 9pm.
Sacred Profanities Thee Parkside. 4pm, free.

DANCE CLUBS

Afterglow Nickies, 466 Haight, SF; (415) 255-0300. An evening of mellow electronics with resident DJs Matt Wilder, Mike Perry, Greg Bird, and guests.
DiscoFunk Mashups Cat Club. 10pm, free. House and 70’s music.
Dub Mission Elbo Room. 9pm, $6. Dub, roots, and classic dancehall with DJ Sep, J Boogie, and guest Dub Gabriel.
Gloss Sundays Trigger, 2344 Market, SF; (415) 551-CLUB. 7pm. With DJ Hawthorne spinning house, funk, soul, retro, and disco.
Honey Soundsystem Paradise Lounge. 8pm-2am. “Dance floor for dancers – sound system for lovers.” Got that?
Jock! Lookout, 3600 16th; 431-0306. 3pm, $2. This high-energy party raises money for LGBT sports teams.
Kick It Bar on Church. 9pm. Hip-hop with DJ Zax.
Lowbrow Sunday Delirium. 1pm, free. DJ Roost Uno and guests spinning club hip hop, indie, and top 40s.
Religion Bar on Church. 3pm. With DJ Nikita.
Stag AsiaSF. 6pm, $5. Gay bachelor parties are the target demo of this weekly erotic tea dance.

MONDAY 7

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Califone Great American Music Hall. 8pm, $16.
Grand Lake, Bad Assets, Pine Away Knockout. 10pm, $5.
“Not So Silent Night Competition” Bottom of the Hill. 8pm, $8. Bands TBA.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

Nick Culp Socha Café, 3235 Mission, SF; (415) 643-6848. 8:30pm.
Lavay Smith Trio Enrico’s, 504 Broadway, SF; www.enricossf.com. 7pm, free.
Christopher O’Riley Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8pm, $30.

DANCE CLUBS

Black Gold Koko Cocktails, 1060 Geary; 885-4788. 10pm-2am, free. Senator Soul spins Detroit soul, Motown, New Orleans R&B, and more — all on 45!
Death Guild DNA Lounge. 9:30pm, $3-5. Gothic, industrial, and synthpop with Decay, Joe Radio, and Melting Girl.
Going Steady Dalva. 10pm, free. DJs Amy and Troy spinning 60’s girl groups, soul, garage, and more.
King of Beats Tunnel Top. 10pm. DJs J-Roca and Kool Karlo spinning reggae, electro, boogie, funk, 90’s hip hop, and more.
Manic Mondays Bar on Church. 9pm. Drink 80-cent cosmos with Djs Mark Andrus and Dangerous Dan.
Monster Show Underground SF. 10pm, $5. Cookie Dough and DJ MC2 make Mondays worth dancing about, with a killer drag show at 11pm.
Network Mondays Azul Lounge, One Tillman Pl; www.inhousetalent.com. 9pm, $5. Hip-hop, R&B, and spoken word open mic, plus featured performers.
Spliff Sessions Tunnel Top. 10pm, free. DJs MAKossa, Kung Fu Chris, and C. Moore spin funk, soul, reggae, hip-hop, and psychedelia on vinyl.

TUESDAY 8

ROCK/BLUES/HIP-HOP

Average White Band Yoshi’s San Francisco. 8 and 10pm, $25.
California Honeydrops Revolution Café, 3248 22nd St, SF; (415) 642-0474. 8:45pm, free.
Robert Francis Café du Nord. 9:30pm, $10.
Long Thaw, Downfalls, Pegataur Bottom of the Hill. 9pm, $8.
Nervous Tics, Aversions, Complaints Knockout. 9:30pm, free.

FOLK/WORLD/COUNTRY

Devine’s Jug Band, The Gas Men, Sean Corkery Club Waziema, 543 Divisadero, SF; (415) 999-4061. 8pm, free.
Fiddle Jam Socha Café, 3235 Mission, SF; (415) 643-6848. 8:30pm.
Barry O’Connell, Vinnie Cronin and friends Plough and Stars. 9pm.

JAZZ/NEW MUSIC

“Booglaloo Tuesday” Madrone Art Bar. 9:30pm, $3. With Oscar Myers.
Dave Parker Quintet Rasselas Jazz. 8pm.
“Jazz Mafia Tuesdays” Coda. 9pm, $7. With Spaceheater’s Blast Furnace.
Ricardo Scales Top of the Mark. 6:30pm, $5.

DANCE CLUBS

Alcoholocaust Presents Argus Lounge. 9pm, free. With DJs What’s His Fuck, Kate Waste, and Trashed Tracy.
Drunken Monkey Annie’s Social Club. 9pm, free. Weekly guest DJs and shot specials.
Eclectic Company Skylark, 9pm, free. DJs Tones and Jaybee spin old school hip hop, bass, dub, glitch, and electro.
La Escuelita Pisco Lounge, 1817 Market, SF; (415) 874-9951. 7pm, free. DJ Juan Data spinning gay-friendly, Latino sing-alongs but no salsa or reggaeton.
Mixology Aunt Charlie’s Lounge, 133 Turk, (415) 441-2922. 10pm, $2. DJ Frantik mixes with the science and art of music all night.
Rock Out Karaoke! Amnesia. 7:30pm. With Glenny Kravitz.
Share the Love Trigger, 2344 Market, SF; (415) 551-CLUB. 5pm, free. With DJ Pam Hubbuck spinning house.
Shout at the Devil Red Devil Lounge. 8pm, free. Karaoke with a smoke machine and cheap drinks.

Womanizer Bar on Church. 9pm. With DJ Nuxx.

Sunshine heroes: Call for nominations!

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By Rebecca Bowe

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Not every bright star who snags a James Madison Freedom of Information Award is a superstar investigative journalist. The annual contest, administered by the Northern California Chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists, honors citizens and journalists alike who’ve exercised their right to obtain public documents and used the information to produce stellar work. The awards also recognize those who’ve poured time and energy into promoting greater government transparency.

Right now, the SPJ NorCal Chapter’s Freedom of Information Committee is accepting nominations for The 25th Annual James Madison Awards. The awards recognize Northern California organizations and individuals who have made significant contributions to the advancement of freedom of information and expression in the spirit of James Madison, the creative force behind the First Amendment.

Click here to go to an online nomination form. The last day to send a nomination is January 9, 2010.

The awards are presented at a ceremony in March during National Freedom of Information Week, near the anniversary of Madison’s birth. Eligible for nomination are Northern California journalists, citizens, media organizations, or community groups who, during 2009, have defended public access to meetings, public records, or court proceedings or otherwise promoted the public’s right to know, publish and speak freely about issues of public concern.

Anti-war activists return to the streets

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By Steven T. Jones
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Photo by Bill Hackwell from our award-winning story “Resistance is futile — or is it?

As President Obama announces an escalation of the war in Afghanistan this evening, anti-war activists are planning to take to the streets in protest. The questions now are whether the movement can gather the numbers and energy that it had back in 2003, after years of being ignored and demoralized, and whether this new president will listen.

Code Pink will host on event today at Tommy’s Joynt (1101 Geary) starting at 4 p.m. for those who want to watch Obama’s speech together, and they’ll march on the Federal Building afterward. There will also be a march this evening in the East Bay, starting at 7 p.m. at the clock tower at 4063 Piedmont Avenue in Oakland.

Then, tomorrow (Dec. 2) at 5 p.m., a half-dozen anti-war groups will join forces for the main local march against the war, gathering on Market Street at Powell. And the American Friends Service Committee will simultaneously protest outside the new Federal Building (90 7th Street).

P.S. If you’re still on the fence about whether escalating the war in Afghanistan is “necessary” or a dangerous clusterfuck, check out this piece in The Nation about how US contractors are funding the Taliban or this piece on Bill Moyers Journal about how this escalation is likely to do more harm than good.

Live Shots: Hip-Hop DanceFest, Palace of Fine Arts, 11/22/09

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Text and photos by Ariel Soto

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For the 11th Annual Hip Hop DanceFest, 11 dance troupes graced the stage for Sunday afternoon at the Palace of Fine Arts. The dance companies hailed from California, South Korea, Norway, Canada, London and New York, showcasing a diverse definition of what hip-hop dance means today. There was some tap dancing, classical music, and Michael Jackson tributes. The ages of the dancers ranged from very young kids to seasoned adults, but their skill and proficiency was perfectly cohesive and steeped full of energy. There was also a spectacular trio, the ILL-Abilities Crew, made up of three dancers with various disabilities who danced with such passion and talent that it brought the whole crowd to a standing ovation. It was obvious after seeing these dance companies perform that hip hop is a dance of all nations, where everyone speaks the universal language for throwing down.

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