For events listings, see SFBG.com
WEDNESDAY 10/16
Heavenly Bodies
A few years ago, The Empire of Death: A Cultural History of Ossuaries and Charnel Houses — a magnificently beefy book documenting the centuries-old practice of crafting art from human bones — made the rounds. The author of that beautifully macabre tome was LA-based art historian Paul Koudounaris, who returns with Heavenly Bodies: Cult Treasures and Spectacular Saints from the Catacombs, smaller in scale yet nonetheless jam-packed with sumptuous photos of skeletons dripping in jewels. Koudounaris celebrates his new release with a reading and slide show at (perfect venue alert) curio emporium Loved to Death. (Cheryl Eddy)
5:30-7pm, free
Loved to Death
1681 Haight, SF
WEDNESDAY 10/16
Carve San Francisco
Yeah, it’s October, and yes, it’s getting chilly, but c’mon, that’s no excuse not to hit the beach (jacket-clad) to watch some of the world’s best sculptors — sand sculptors, that is — turn flecks of rock and coral dust into stunning works of art at San Francisco’s first international Carve competition. We’re not talking castles here — think pharaohs and pyramids, or wind-surfing skeletons. Tonight and Thu/17 the artists get busy with initial shaping, and the real party begins Fri/18 with Off the Grid food trucks and a surf film screening. Chill Sat/19 with a yoga class, then watch the award ceremony, and by the near end of the weekend, if you still haven’t made it, bro, what are you waiting for? Get down there to see the finished oeuvres. Give a dollar when you vote, and you’ll also help the Surfrider Foundation protect these gnarly beaches. (Kaylen Baker)
Through Sun/20
7am-7pm, free
Presidio waterfront, SF
WEDNESDAY 10/16
Cave
“Funk minimalism” seems to be a label this Chicago rock group has self-applied, but it’s inadequate to describe the collective sounds on its latest energetic album Threace. With the single “Shikaakwa,” a driving beat leads into an Afro-pop sounding keyboard, trading off with a Push Push-era winding flute that alternately spirals in on itself and riffs atop the rhythm. There and elsewhere on the album, the result is wordlessly psychedelic, always heading somewhere, even if you can’t guess exactly where it will lead. (Ryan Prendiville)
With Quintron and Miss Pussycat, zZz, the Vinyl Avenger (DJ set)
Sat/16, 9pm, $10–$12
Elbo Room
647 Valencia, SF
(415) 552-7788
THURSDAY 10/17
#TrendingTopics Stand-Up Comedy Night
Maybe it’ll be Kanye, maybe it’ll be Bieber, or maybe it’ll be the economy, but in any case, Twitter is sure to be abuzz with something, and that’s what the comedians of #TrendingTopic Stand-Up Comedy Night will be drawing from for their sets this week. Share some laughs about the most important topics in the world — or at least, what tweeters consider to be the most noteworthy — and vote to crown the best comedian as the new #trendingtopic king or queen! (Kirstie Haruta)
9pm, $10
Sip Bar and Lounge
787 Broadway, SF
(415) 699-6545
SATURDAY 10/19
“Trolley Dances”
If you regularly ride Muni, you’ll understand why it can drive you bananas. But at least once a year during “Trolley Dances,” Muni becomes pure joy. That’s when Kim Epifano and her fellow dancers take over selected lines for what they call “rolling performance tours.” You pay your fare and you’ll ride to a number of stops to watch performances before the trip continues to the next one. This year they’ll start at the Market Street Railway Museum on Embarcadero and go as far as Church Street. Included among others are Keith Terry and Corposonic, Tezkatlipoka Aztec Dance and Drum, and — since this is the event’s 10th anniversary in SF — Trolley Dances founder Jean Isaacs San Diego Dance Theater. (Rita Felciano)
Also Sun/20
11am-2:45pm, every 45 minutes; Muni fare
Various locations, SF
SATURDAY 10/19
Lit Crawl
This year’s Lit Crawl, the epic finale to the annual Litquake festival, features 517 writers, including the likes of Alejandro Murguía and the Conspiracy of Beards (30 men singing Leonard Cohen a capella), and 83 venues, including a bowling alley and the Mission police station, even atop a pool table at the Lexington Club. The crawl highlights everything literary, from your typical erotic poetry session to a cookies-and-milk reading by published 6-year-olds. Personally, I’m excited for “Anna Karenina on the Couch,” where professional psychoanalysts break open the repressed egos of 19th century literary dames Anna Karenina and Jo March (in the flesh!) and the Bay Guardian’s very own “Celebrity Twitterature,” where drag stars playing Hollywood stars reenact breakups and breakdowns through live Twitter feeds. Come join the biggest, hippest bunch of bookworms on the West Coast. (Baker)
6-9:30pm, free
Various venues around the Mission, SF
(415) 440-4177
litcrawl.org/sf
SATURDAY 10/19
POC Zine Project Race Riot! Tour
The POC Zine Project — now on its Race Riot! Tour — makes a Bay Area stop at the SOMArts Cultural Center tonight. Race Riot! brings contributing writers to cities across the nation to share their work and start a discussion. The POC Zine Project, founded by Daniela Capistrano, works to make all people of color zines accessible through experimental, volunteer-based activism and community engagement. Join the discussion and the movement for POC visibility through creative work and activism. All proceeds support the POCZP. (Haruta)
6:30pm, $5-10, no one turned away for lack of funds
SOMArts Cultural Center
934 Brannan, SF
(415) 863-1414
SUNDAY 10/20
GWAR
Here’s to almost three decades of rubber masks, obscene lyrics, tasteless humor, and lots and lots of fake blood. Yes, we’re talking about GWAR, the Virginia-based heavy metal shock rock group and its foam penises, staged crucifixions, and exposed butts (among other onstage delights), which will be celebrating its 30th anniversary next year. Despite more than 18 different lineups and 26 members throughout the band’s history, little has changed about the essence of GWAR. If you’re looking to have a night to remember, get your clothes stained permanently by red dye, and maybe even see a Billy Ocean cover (GWAR recently took on “Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car” for the A.V. Club) look no further than Oderus Urungus and his monstrous minions. (Haley Zaremba)
With Whitechapel, Iron Reagan, A Band of Orcs
7:30pm, $28
Regency Ballroom
1300 Van Ness, SF
theregencyballroom.com
SUNDAY 10/20
Goblin
Fans of horror films know how important a soundtrack can be — the best-known examples are probably the shrieking strings of Psycho (1960) and John Carpenter’s iconic synth score for 1978’s Halloween. Fans of Euro horror, however, share a fondness for Goblin, Italian purveyors of the creepy, pulsating, proggy, keyboard-driven music that enhanced many films by macabre master Dario Argento (including 1977’s Suspiria), not to mention George Romero’s 1978 zombie classic Dawn of the Dead. Touring North America for the first time, the veteran band swoops into San Francisco to make Goblin-faithful dreams (and nightmares) come true. (Eddy)
With Secret Chiefs 3, DJ Omar Perez
8pm, $28–$75
Warfield
982 Market, SF
TUESDAY 10/22
The Garden
This Burger Records up-and-comer is an identical twin duo hailing from Orange, Calif. The 19-year-old Shears brothers specialize in melancholy snippets (most of their songs barely pass the one-minute mark) of post-punk drum ‘n’ bass, androgynous style that would make Boy George jealous, teen angst, and getting reblogged on Tumblr. Their songs are haunting and beautifully executed, though rarely understandable. The lyrics are drawn from inside jokes and twin-speak (the Shears have a secret language, for those occasions when they even need to communicate verbally) and the vocals are often drowned in feedback and reverb. But the words don’t seem to matter. Whatever they’re doing or saying, they’re doing and saying it unlike anyone else. (Zaremba)
With Lovely Bad Things, Bicycle Day
9pm, $10
Brick and Mortar Music Hall
1710 Mission, SF
(415) 800-8782
TUESDAY 10/22
Maria Bamford
Not gonna lie, comedian Maria Bamford kind of scares me. Clearly it’s the voices. Not really the ones she regularly employs as a voice actor on Adventure Time or CatDog. Or what I think is her “normal” voice, familiar to anyone who caught her recent scene-stealing turns on Arrested Development and Louie. (That one was strangely endearing.) No, it must be one of the many characters she shifts in and out of faster than Gollum, as part of her surreal stand-up routines (and on The Maria Bamford Show and Ask My Mom! web-series). Actually, I think it’s one in particular. Yeah, I think I’m just afraid of Maria Bamford’s mom. (Prendiville)
Also Wed/23, 8pm, $25
Cobb’s Comedy Club
915 Columbus, SF
(415) 928-4320