He will rise again: Hunky Jesus contest rescheduled

Pub date April 1, 2013
SectionPixel Vision

Soggy hordes of Dolores Park revelers were caught, mid-day-drunk, when unseemly amounts of rain stopped the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence‘s famed Hunky Jesus contest in its tracks yesterday. No one likes a wet deviled egg.

But don’t worry heathens, you’ll still get a chance to blaspheme — the Sisters have announced that the event will be resurrected in April.

Full details on the time and place where our Lord and Savior will reincarnate as your hot masseuse wearing his cleanest bedsheet have yet to be released, but we’re confident that He will look just as frightening to your far-off relatives when you Snapchat them shots of your blanketmates WOO HOO-ing appreciatively over Him waltzing with a crucifix made entirely of dildos.

This was the 34th anniversary of the Sisters’ annual Easter celebrations. Back in the ’90s, the mayhem took the form of a 13-stop crawl of gay bars and organizations parodying (/updating) traditional Easter passion plays. Thankfully this year the rain spared the Sisters’ egg hunt and, barely, the bonnet contest. 

Here’s the full text from the press release, jussoyaknow:

Despite our best laid plans, the rain won out on Easter Sunday! After a beautiful morning with a flawless Children’s Celebration, the heavens opened and a downpour put a halt to the festivities just as the Bonnet Contest ended. 

But don’t fret! The Hunky Jesus Contest has been rescheduled! Keep an eye out for the “Second Coming” sometime in April. As soon as details are finalized they’ll be posted on www.thesisters.org

Hunky Jesuses, rejoice! And keep your loin cloths and thorny crowns at the ready- your moment in the spotlight will happen soon!