In 1995, when Clinton administration US Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders was fired due to comments she made about teaching masturbation as part of safer sex education, Good Vibrations announced May to be Masturbation Month, bringing us the worldwide phenomenon of the Masturbate-a-thon. Today, the a-thons have blessed the world with a whole passel of global records (from most orgasms, to most time masturbating, to accuracy and range of ejaculation), and also raised a whole bunch of money for sex education and sexual safety. Come on, join a good cause! Participants can choose between exhibitionist raised platforms in the middle of the room, closed-to-press masturbation rooms, and simply being a voyeur to all the wanking off.
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One Minute Bondage
Jay Wiseman teaches you how to truss up your buddy in less time than it takes to nuke a bag of popcorn, and without that niggling chance of cancer because you’re standing too close to the glass. If you gots ’em, bring ’em; pieces of rope six, twelve, eighteen, and twenty four feet long. Just whatever you have lying around the house, really.
Wed/28 8-10 p.m., $25-30
Good Vibrations
603 Valencia, SF
(415) 522-5460
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Mystique Pre Party
Join owners RoseWhite and Psychokat, plus Mystique domme Chey for a chance to get all caffinated in your fetish wear prior to the Citadel party. Chey’s happy to answer any questions you have regarding what lies ahead – and Wicked Ground’s the perfect spot to fuel up on sandwiches and dildos, should you be lacking either at that time.
Fri/28 7-8 p.m., free
Wicked Grounds
289 8th St., SF
(415) 503-0405
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Mystique
The 5,700 plus square footage of SF Citadel rolls out the red carpet for female dominants at this recurring party, where house slaves and light refreshment will be provided. Or, you are welcome to bring your own (slave, not refreshment – what do you think this is, people?) Join the party as a lone submissive as well, all orientations are welcome, and flashy attire is encouraged — although dungeon black is always a safe choice for this scene.
Fri/28 8 p.m.-1 a.m., $25-50
SF Citadel
1277 Mission, SF
(415) 626-1746
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The People’s Choice Bondage Tie-Up/Tie-Down Tie-Off
The Society of Janus brings back its popular bondage fashion show (which benefits their AIDS Walk team) – only this year, you get to see the gear in action. Voyeurs get the chance to vote on their favorite scene and players in such categories as most restrictive bondage, most unusual bondage, best suspension, best non-rope bondage, and group bondage. Plus, the Citadel’s standard play party accoutrements are available to those that need no such designations to enjoy their kink.
Sat/29 8 p.m.-1 a.m., $25
SF Citadel
1277 Mission, SF
(415) 626-1746
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Nina Hartley and Ira Levine: Must Porn Suck?
Holler back at Hartley and hubby Levine, two behemoths in the arena of porn that’s not awful: “It isn’t predestined that 99% of all porn must suck, but for it to do otherwise, everyone in the chain of production, right down to the consumer, has to start taking it seriously and step up to what must be done so that it does not suck forever and ever amen.” And just what is it that needs to be done, sir and madam? Find out at this lecture.
Sat/29 8 p.m., $20-40
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
(415) 552-7399
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Masturbate-a-thon
Guest hosts sure to rub you the right way include Nina Hartley, Courtney Trouble, Dr. Carol Queen and Jiz Lee. For first time public pleasurers, practice at the Lusty Lady is suggested and encouraged.
Sun/30 voyeur seating 4 – 11 p.m., (record setters arrive at 10:30 a.m.), $25 for voyeur seating
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
(415) 552-7399
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CSC Benefit
You haven’t had enough, have you? All the wanking, rubbing, yelping – you need more charity! Luckily, The Eagle is happy to oblige. They’ve got Blow, and Sister Kitty of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence coming through to spice up all the drinks you’ll be having on the back patio with all the burly leathermen. Money goes to the same goodness over at Center for Sex and Culture what that Masturbate-a-thon’s dough does. Donate to a good sex cause while starting one of your own, perhaps?
Sun/30 3-6 p.m., donations
The Eagle Tavern
398 12th St., SF
(415) 626-0880
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Joystick Secrets: How to Thrill a Man
After all the self pleasuring you did on Sunday, isn’t it time to give to those around you? International sex educator-about-town, Midori, gives a run-down on how to suck-down your man. Interesting little tidbit; fruit will be involved. Wait, maybe just as a stand-in cock. Shoots, I thought we were getting really creative over here. Oh yeah, and all those really looking to thrill a man; follow up the cunnilingus with a shot of Maker’s, and an It’s It. Now that’s pleasure.
Tues/1 8-10 p.m., $25-30
Good Vibrations
1620 Polk, SF
(415) 345-0400
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Formerly Known As…
Can a full length solo show by Suppositori Spelling tempt you into an art exhibit for once? Put down that lube and get all culture with it, boys and girls – for the Queer Arts Festival has assembled a dozen of the very most talented male sex workers to put on display what it is they do best (or second best, depending on their personal priorities). Also featured will be 85 year old playwright George Birimisa, and bright young hustler Cyd Nova.
Tues/1 7:30 p.m., $12-20
SF LGBT Community Center
1800 Market, SF
(415) 865-5555