SFBG’s Justin Juul asks zookeeper Jane Tollini — former penguin keeper at the San Francisco Zoo, and originator of the annual “Woo at the Zoo” tour — about life, love, and sex in the animal kingdom. Read part one here.
Part Two: Donkey Shows — not as cool as they sound
SFBG: So! The real reason I’m here is to find out about donkey shows. I’ve been hearing about them my whole life, but I’ve never actually met a person who’s seen one. Have you?
Tollini: Yeah, they exist. And yes, I’ve seen one. It was horrible and extremely gross. I was drunk and stoned down in Mexico. Not sure why I wanted to see it, but hey, you’re only young once, right?
SFBG: Have you seen any other cross-species interaction? Chicken fucking, goat licking…anything like that?
Tollini: Oh yes, lots! There was this girl – I’m not gonna say here name, but she worked in the primate division — who just loved her apes to death. And we were just positive that she was getting down with them. She would bend over and give them a show in front of everyone and then she would stay late most days doing god knows what in the pens. Also, I have friends who have dogs and I’ve heard plenty of stories about canines sucking their masters off. The thing about the donkey show is that donkeys have pretty sizable dicks so a woman would have to be good and prepared, if you know what I mean. The show I saw looked pretty painful… but, well, you could tell she’d done it before. I also saw a pretty weird thing go down with an orangutan and a couple of cute college girls once. That was weird.
SFBG: Please go on.
Tollini: Well, a few years ago, a couple of girls from UC Davis decided to collaborate on a thesis statement about orangutan reproduction. Obviously, they were gonna need some sperm, so they contacted The Sacramento Zoo. The zoo was cool about it and gave the girls permission to use one of their older orangutans, but also said that it might be hard because there were no female orangutans hanging around that weren’t already pregnant at that specific point in time. Also, this orangutan had arthritis so he couldn’t masturbate very well. You can imagine what happened after that.
SFBG: The girls found a different project?
Tollini: Ha! No, the girls spent four months giving hand jobs to a grizzly old orangutan.