By Juliette Tang
“CHOOSE what’s right — Come What May“
Slumdog Millionaire won the coveted Academy Award for Best Picture this year, but I doubt the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences had seen Come What May when they made that decision. The best sexist and preachy abortion movie you’ve never heard of, Come What May is a masterpiece that the Christian Pulse describes as a cinematic feast, literally. “I love movies that set the table with a Christian main course and side dishes of probing intellectual issues”, writes Donald James Parker. A succulent and delicious movie about abortion, my mouth is watering.
We ladies are so silly on the topic of our own bodies that sometimes it takes a strapping young protagonist like Caleb Hogan, played by the handsome Austin Kearney [Yummy, yummy! – Ed.], to set us straight. Caleb is so upstanding, his Christian compass pits him against his own mother, a morally irresponsible Constitutional lawyer who is representing an abortion clinic against the wishes of her husband and son. Maybe she didn’t get the memo that she was supposed to unconditionally obey of the men in her family? Luckily she has her son to parent her.
Baseball, abortion — “It’s all in my book”
Unfortunately, this movie wasn’t released in theaters, but you can score a DVD online, and if you apply to show it at your church, they will give you a copy for free. Forget The Cider House Rules, Revolutionary Road, Vera Drake, and Citizen Ruth. Forget Dirty Dancing, even. From now on, Come What May has the monopoly on the abortion circuit.