Taken from SCENE: The Guardian Guide to Nightlife and Glamour — on stands in the Guardian now. Interview by Marke B. Photo by Matthew Reamer. Art Direction by Mirissa Neff. Crotch-buffing by Kalri$$ian. Location: Shattuck Downlow
In these trying economic times, does the Bay really need a motor-mouthed, drug-snorting, pussy-obsessed playboy hip-hop collective — one that shouts out Eric Estrada, acid house, and Optimus Prime while bragging about using paper bags for condoms and instructing someone to "juggle balls in your mouth like a circus act"? Well, yes, actually. Hilariously quick-witted San Francisco-based beastly boys Kalri$$ian certainly bring the sparkling regression to match the recession — by channeling naughty spirits from rap’s past like Kool Keith, Shock G, and Prince Paul, and literally melting themselves to audio gaga as they "lick Cool Whip off your flatmate." The bouncy braggadocio of Kalri$$ian’s new album, Tales from the Velvet Pocket (Psychokinetics) and over-the-top flashback image somehow seem perfectly refreshing right now.
Experienced Bay nightlifers will recognize some long-time scenesters among the Kal’s colorful cast. No need to fret over missing all the in-jokes, though — Kalri$$ian’s got a million of ’em, and most involve doing lines off your girlfriends’ ass. Check them out live at the release party for Daly City cool kid Mochipet’s new Bunnies & Muffins platter:
KALRI$$IAN
April 4, 9 p.m.– 5 a.m., all ages
The Ranch
1433 Van Dyke, SF
www.kalrissianbaby.com
SFBG You sure got a lot of people — it’s like you’re a super group or something. Tell me about who’s all involved …
"UNCLE" TONY HIGHRISE (producer) You’re goddamn right this group is super! I’ll tell you what — I wouldn’t have left Miami unless it was for something really, really super. I came up on the scene in Delaware back in the day. I was a freelance hype man for a while with my cousin Wicked Awesome J, rest his soul. After the accident, I drifted south and started wearing polyester. It just seemed like the thing to do. Polyester was tough in Miami — it’s not that breathable, you know. But I was committed.
KEYLO VENEZUELA (producer) We ARE super group. We make fantastic sound music and tell our stories to everybody. The music is the passion that covers the world.
SMOOTH RICK CHOSEN (vocalist) I’m an ex-Barbazon School of Modeling student who got hooked on pills and realized he had a gift, in his pants.