By Juliette Tang
Could it happen here?
Ever since the San Francisco Planning Commission denied American Apparel’s request to set up shop in the Mission by a 7-0 vote because of you wonderfully protest-happy people of San Francisco, I’ve been wondering if the battle is really over. American Apparel is already trying to kill us with kindness, by offering anyone with a valid Mission address on their California driver’s license 25% off anything in the store until March 15, possibly because they know that they’d lose approximately 75% of their business in San Francisco if Mission hipsters suddenly decided they didn’t have a fondness for unisex slacks anymore. It’s a nice offer, surely, but personally, I’d feel hypocritical for using it.
As we’ve seen in this struggle, American Apparel is an aggressive corporation with a lot of muscle. It’s nice that they’re appeasing Mission residents with this 25% off offer — though in these tough times, even with the discount, I don’t know many people who want to spend $25 on a disco unitard. [Ed Note: And the offer will drive business out of the Mission! Clever, clever.] But what if the assault doesn’t end here? What if the olive branch is just a way for American Apparel to pull the wool over our eyes, while they hatch their plot to punish San Francisco for denying them access to Valencia Street? Remember that the term “kill with kindness” originated in Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, from Petruchio’s line: “This is a way to kill a wife with kindness,” and ultimately refers to the following tactic: divert attention, then attack.
I’m not saying we should boycott American Apparel. I’m saying that if we have to go into battle once again, we need to be just as prepared as we were for the last one. After much study and consideration, I present to you a countdown of eight possible revenge attacks by American Apparel, after the jump.