By Todd Lavoie
Well, I can’t speak for all of us here, but I reckon I’m not the only one who likes to unwind after a hard day’s work with a rip through Slayer’s Reign In Blood, a couple of beers, and a box of crayons…am I? I best not neglect the trusty ol’ number two pencil while I’m at it, either – all the better for scrawling perfect 666’s upon every available surface as “Postmortem” heralds the sheer blinding breadth of my fiendish ways, my pure evil intent. Are you with me, my pentagram-slamming brothers and sisters? Someone please tell me I ain’t alone on this one.
Of course I’m not alone, silly, silly headbangers! Exhibit A: The Heavy Metal Fun Time Activity Book (2007), recently unleashed upon the previously untapped Crayola-wielding caught-in-a-mosh market by ECW Press/Independent Publishers Group. Authored and drawn by Aye Jay Morano – credited here as simply “Aye Jay” – the 48-page children’s activity book send-up pays loving tribute to those fantastic little workbooks Mom and Dad would buy us at the supermarket or the toy store to shut us up for a few hours in the car during long drives.
Yep, I remember a bout or two of gut-wobbling carsickness on trips up to summer cabins and amusement parks, thanks to burying myself nose-deep in those suckers, throwing myself into diamond-cutting concentration trances in an effort to keep coloring with the lines! Oh, how I loved those books – excitement awaiting on every page, with dot-to-dots, mazes, word searches, brain teasers, and oodles of pictures ready for the colorin’! Any chance to bust out the burnt sienna and my stubby little fingers would set a-twitching in anticipation.