By Amber Peckham
Do you think that microchips are snacks enjoyed with cheese dip while watching the local monster truck rally?
Do you think that the word Iraq refers to a woman with large breasts?
These are only some of the questions asked at www.trailertrashdoll.com, the Web site of Gibby Novelties LLC. They sell, you guessed it, dolls. Barbie and Ken the way we always knew they should be; crass, uneducated, and parents of a whole mess of kids, spouting nonsense around the cigarette clamped between black and empty gums.
There are three trailer trash dolls currently being manufactured by the company. The first is simply “Trailer Trash Doll”, a blonde, pigtailed girl reminiscent of Daisy Duke on a bad makeup day. Then there’s “Trash Talkin’ Turleen”, a mother of seven (and one more perpetually on the way) with an attitude hotter than those rollers in her hair. Last, but certainly not least, is the newest addition to the trailer park, “Jer Wayne Junior”. This heartthrob of the Heartland sports a gin-u-ine mullet, and even has a tattoo immortalizing his first and only true love, NASCAR. Turleen and Jer Wayne are the dolls that speak, pearls of wisdom like “T’aint nothin’ sadder than a double-wide with no beer!” and “Pour me a double, I’m drinkin’ fer two.”
Company owner Daniel Gibby says “We recognize the need to have a little laugh and be light hearted during these trying times and we hope our dolls fit the bill!”
For the hillbilly in your home, no gift could be more ideal; a piece of talking plastic to stick on the mantelpiece. It’s almost like y’all went to Graceland.