March 21-April 19
Just party, Aries, OK? Seriously. There’s nothing but major good-time rays beaming down on you people, so do what the universe wants you to do and just go nuts. It’s like the cosmos has thrown an intergalactic Aries block party. Muster up the best, most positive, and honest version of yourself and take it out on the town.
April 20-May 20
Taurus, what the hell do you want for yourself? Do you know? We seriously hope you do, because this week is a great one to kick up your efforts toward manifesting your hopes. We think that working toward making your personal life more satisfying and supportive of your ambitions is a good way to exploit this excellent energy.
May 21-June 21
Gemini, this week marks the cosmic beginnings of a very major, long-term project in Gemini land. You can prepare for it by spending some time getting grounded in the people and things you’ve invested in emotionally. It’s time to look at how you can participate in intimacy without giving up your sense of security.
June 22-July 22
Oh Cancer, ye of many scarcity issues. You’re not going to let your crummy, pain-in-the-ass problems prevent you from leaping wholeheartedly into some brand-new endeavors, are you? Hells naw! Adopt a pace that lets you engage in you new projects and is steady enough to calm your freaky feelings.
July 23-Aug. 22
Leo, don’t spend your free time daydreaming about what dive bars and thrift stores you’re going to pillage on your cross-country trip. Instead, get your tires rotated, pay your car insurance, and make sure you’ve got enough minutes on your celly when you hit the road.
Aug. 23-Sept. 22
You’ve got a big challenge, Virgo, and it’s in the relationship realm. You’ve got to look at the larger picture and directly confront both your need for things to be different and your participation in bringing them to the point where they currently are. Your relationships require tending — get to it.
Sept. 23-Oct. 22
Silly Libra, boundaries aren’t just for bad times. In fact, it’s ignoring boundaries when things are going swimmingly that leads to people having massive unbounded meltdowns when shit gets hard. So while you’re having a blast this week, take a minute here and there to playfully enforce your rules.
Oct. 23-Nov. 21
Scorpio, you might not know what the hell we’re talking about. ’Cause we’re predicting the beginning of a closure on something that’s been a wide-open wound for a wicked long time for you folks. It’s going to be a very long process, healing this thing, so we understand if you don’t even notice the first twinges yet.
Nov. 22-Dec. 21
Sometimes you just have to decide to be OK, Sag. Sometimes it’s just that simple. it appears that a humble and sane resolve to be fine will do wonders for you. The sadness you’re processing right now isn’t terribly tragic, but it’s real, and we encourage you to play your way through it.
Dec. 22-Jan. 19
OK, curmudgeons. We’ve got the ultimate challenge for the crankily inclined. We dare you to sustain maximum positivity throughout the coming days. We dare you to remain totally open to the buckets of joyfulness, idealism, and potential the universe is dumping on you right now.
Jan. 20-Feb. 18
Aquarius, what’s the damn problem with you people these days? You’re all jumpy and sketchy and inconsistent and scattered. We’d just send you to the disco and have you work it out on the dance floor, except we think you might have some important decisions and details to attend to. Get it together.
Feb. 19-March 20
Pisces, some of the methods you’ve come up with to handle life are dazzling and genius. The rest suck ass. It’s now your job to figure out which systems really benefit you and which are absurdly outmoded. Don’t be scared of what you’re losing — what you’re perfecting are tools for handling stress. SFBG