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Best of the Bay 2011: BEST CLUCK CONNECTION

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You can find dogs and cats anywhere. But say you want to adopt a chinchilla — or perhaps a snake. How about a rat? A rabbit? A couple of birds — or yes, a feathered chicken friend? You’ll have to head down to the San Francisco Animal Shelter. The city shelter is the only place in town that adopts out just about every type of (small) animal that anyone could imagine keeping as a pet. Sadly, most of the creatures arrive there because they were no longer wanted in someone’s home — but that doesn’t mean they aren’t cute, cuddly, bouncy, fun, and ready to take up a (tiny) space in your apartment or backyard. Hell, they might even pay their own way — omelet, anyone?

1200 15th St., SF. (415) 554-6364, www.animalshelter.sfgov.org

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST SWEAT FOR YOUR STANZAS

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Fitting, we must profess, that the namesake of George Sterling Memorial Park was a poet. The views from this Russian Hill rec hub make us want to write stanzas between sets of tennis and ballads after basketball runs. Near-360-degree views of this epic setting can be found up at the corner of Hyde and Lombard streets (yes, right where Lombard begins to snake downward). Come for the views but stay for the play — four tennis courts and a full basketball court await the aerobically inclined. Waits can get long for the tennis courts, so be sure to abide by (and enforce!) the one-set-per-court rule.

Lombard and Hyde, SF

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST SLICE OF POSTAPOCALYPTIC PARADISE

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Maybe it’s the late summer evenings we’ve spent here drinking cheap wine on a slab of concrete while looking out over the San Francisco Bay. Maybe it’s the graffiti-adorned rocks or the handmade concrete hut, evocative of Dr. Seuss creation. Maybe it’s the bizarre formations of twisted rebar and spinning bike parts that can be found dotting the landscape amid tall, scraggly weeds. Maybe because it’s the prettiest former landfill we’ve ever explored. Whatever the source of its charm, there will always be a special place in our hearts for the Albany Bulb, which makes a great dog park but is also great for anyone who needs to get off their leash and run around. To get to the park, head bay-ward from Golden Gate Fields in Albany.

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST FOREST GUARDIANS

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In February, Chevron was found guilty of causing massive oil contamination in the Amazon and ordered to pay $9 billion — a landmark victory that took 17 years of litigation, brought by thousands of indigenous Ecuadorians affected by cancer and birth defects. Amazon Watch helped them win. The nonprofit supported their struggle through media work, speaking tours, and letter-writing campaigns — and it’s not stopping until Chevron cuts the check. During the oil giant’s recent shareholders conference, Amazon Watch partnered with the Rainforest Action Network to send three courageous souls rappelling off the Richmond Bridge with a banner bearing the message “Chevron Guilty: Clean Up the Amazon!”

221 Pine, Suite 400, SF. (415) 487-9600, amazonwatch.org

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST EXTRACTION SANS DISTRACTION

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It really, truly is all about you when it comes to esthetician Jaydee Cohen of Alameda salon It’s All About You. Under her gentle, patient, and friendly ministrations, you’ll get one of the most detailed, carefully customized facials in the Bay, filled with good common-sense advice (yes, you can OD on certain products, harshing over-stressed pores) and soothing but no-nonsense, treatments. Plus Cohen dares to go where many estheticians fear to squeeze — we’re talking ’bout extracting those seemingly intractable little white bumps below your eyebrows, ladies and gents. The brave Cohen applies her considerable wisdom and expertise, as well as an absolutely perfect amount of pressure, and makes clarity happen — all sans the dreaded scarring. Blessed be.

2500 Central, Suite 1, Alameda. (510) 864-7000

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST REAL DEAL BARBER

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Florindo “Flo” Cimino opened his barber shop atop Potrero Hill in 1953, when he was 20. He has been snipping at the same address ever since — he’s even lived about three blocks away, in the same Arkansas Street house, since his parents brought him back from St. Luke’s Hospital as a baby. Now 80, he’s spent six decades as a barber, hair stylist, news destination, and Potrero Hill institution. Many clients have been with him for decades and come from all around the Bay and beyond — for good reason. His barbershop has the look of a place that Sam Spade would visit regularly for a trim and the neighborhood scoop.

Flo’s Hair Styling, 1532 20th St., SF. (415) 642-0887

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST SMILING STAR OF THE SALVADORAN SAVORIES

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Maria del Carmen Flores of Estrellita’s Snacks has been cooking since she was six. She took notes from her mother in El Salvador until she had mastered the pupusa. Then she lived in Mexico, learning the local cuisine. Her masa envelopes are plump, griddle-crispy on the outside and packed with toothsome seasoned meats, vegetables, and cheese. The pickled veggies are optional — in name only. Sliced thick, they’re best when combined with Flores’ hot salsa: all told, a perfectly crafted snack (but really a meal) you’ll crave all week long. Or maybe you’re just missing the metal stars that flash in Flores’ grill every time she smiles — telling you that the woman’s a dedicated entrepreneur.

Sat.–Sun., 7:30 a.m.–3 p.m. Alemany Farmers Market, 100 Alemany, SF. Also various Bay Area festivals. www.estrellitassnacks.com

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST STAR EGG

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You’ll want to come back to Oakland’s Commis again and again and again for chef James Syhabout’s not-so-secret faux breakfast, a dreamy amuse-bouche that is almost always on his $68 five-course prix fixe menu. Behold a blissfully custardy Commis slow-poached egg, a deep-yellow yolk cradled in a “white” of cream and onion and sprinkled with tiny pebbles of granola — you’ve soft-landed on Planet Sublime. The dish is just one reasons the Oakland native Syhabout — a veteran of Spain’s El Bulli, the U.K.’s Fat Duck, and the Bay Area’s Coi — and his crew earned O-town’s first Michelin star. The other reasons lie in the subtle magic he wrings out of seasonal, locally grown or foraged ingredients like garlic scapes, wild fennel pollen, sea lettuce, English peas, oxalis, thyme, and nasturtium.

3859 Piedmont, Oakl. (510) 653-3902, www.commisrestaurant.com.

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST WAKE ‘N’ SHAKE

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The only bad thing about Rudy’s Can’t Fail Café in Emeryville is the parking — and that’s because everything else is so damn good. (A new second location in uptown Oakland may bring drivers better luck.) From breakfast-all-day omelets and tofu scrambles to straight-up burgers and fries, the time-honored diner fare is good enough to keep cars circling the block for a spot. But if you’re eco-conscious, you’ll consider fueling yourself, rather than your car, to start your day off Rudy’s-right. For that, there’s nothing better than the Rudy’s Can’t Fail Shakin’ Jesse — an inspired blend of Guinness stout, chocolate ice cream, and homebrewed espresso. All the essentials in one malty mug, ready to whisk away the previous night’s hangover and power a morning of full-throttle accomplishment.

481 Hollis, Emeryville. (510) 594-1221 and 1805 Telegraph, Oakl. (510) 251-9400, www.iamrudy.com

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST SUBLINGUAL HIGH

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The Bay Area’s well-developed medical marijuana industry has done much to elevate the age-old practice of smoking marijuana to new heights, with sticky, stinky new strains and a wide variety of edibles. Along with improvements of the herbal variety have come winning technological advances: the formulation of some mighty fine of cannabis tinctures and other concentrates. Our favorite? Alta California tinctures by CBD Science, formerly known as 420 Alchemy. Take a drop or two sublingually (that’s under the tongue, stoners) and you’ll attain a beautiful high that’s different from smoking, vaporizing, or eating — a clear but consuming ride that seems to emanate from your very tissues, almost ecstasy-like. Three varieties — Healing, Tranquility, and Euphoria — give fans a range of satisfaction.

(877) 737-4420, www.4altacalifornia.com

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST BIGGEST BAYVIEW BRAZILIAN BURGERS

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Make sure you’re hungry when you roll up to the Junior Barbecue food truck to order one of Junior’s famous Brazilian burgers. The sandwich Junior hands you, wrapped in paper to keep the juices from cascading out, will be enormous. The uniquely delicious, stick-to-your-ribs burgers are packed with enough ingredients to equal about three meals — beef patty, egg, bacon, hot dog, cheese, ham, pineapple, grilled onion, fresh lettuce, tomato, and corn mayo crammed into a bun. Eight dollars gets you a burger, which will feed you for a couple days, and a Coke. Junior is a gracious Brazilian who has lived in the United States for 11 years and can’t do enough to ensure that his customers are happy. Want some ketchup? Need a napkin? On a bike? How about a bag with handles to make it easier for you?

Napoleon at Evans, S.F.

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST GRINDER AT YOUR BAR STOOL

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So you’re happily imbibing at the Mission’s 500 Club, and you’re a wee bit too wobbly to uproot yourself from your bar stool. But dammit — you’re hungry, and no amount of tipsy wishing can summon the Tamale Lady on command. Thank the gods for Clare’s Deli and Late Night Kitchen. Just steps away from the Five, you can call in, order up (the meatball grinder, an homage to the legendary East Coast staple, is a comfort-food masterpiece), and be back in your spot before your latest song even finishes on the juke box. Clare’s will deliver your salvation to you at the bar, or anywhere in San Francisco. Though this is a mighty fine service — and Clare’s is open seven days, 11 a.m.–11 p.m., with a neato daily dinner menu — the deli also offers options for non-boozehounds: park at the few tables on location, or grab your food to go: to your home, to nearby Dolores Park, or to wherever delicious meatballs are needed most.

3505 17th St., SF. (415) 621-3505, www.claresdeli.com

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST CHOCOLATE LIQUIFACTION

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In the third season of Dexter, top cop Maria has two bonding experiences with women that are consummated with two words: “ganache frosting.” Ganache — that rich, delicious, thick, delicious, dense, delicious mix of chocolate and cream — is the base element of Boulette Larder‘s singular cup of Eastern European-style hot chocolate. All day long, Boulette’s attentive chefs keep a pan of molten ganache simmering in anticipation of its hot chocolate fans. The result is hot chocolate so thick you almost need a spoon, and so satisfying you can omit that dollop of cream. But an almost-colloidal scoop of liquid nirvana doesn’t come cheap: it’ll cost your $5 to go and $6 to stay. Still, that’s way cheaper than booking a flight to Prague. Now we know how Maria felt.

1 Ferry Building No. 48, SF. (415) 399-1155. www.bouletteslarder.com

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST RUSSIAN RUSH

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If you come from good peasant stock (did your grandfather slurp coffee from his saucer? Grandmother wear dresses and wool socks?), then you probably have regular waves of nostalgia for things like cabbage soup, pickled cabbage, cabbage rolls, cabbage dumplings, and cabbage pie. All at the same meal. At Cinderella Russian Bakery and Café, you can indulge all your yearnings for foods sour, smoked, sweet, earthy, tangy, and cruciferous. The ultra-tiny cafe has been around since 1953 and hasn’t strayed from its peasant-food-with-panache approach, offering blinchiki, piroshki, pirogi (if you already know the difference between those last two, congratulations), sour soups, etc. Come here to eat loudly; see really short, really cute older dames; and wear your woolly-sock-and-dress combo with pride.

436 Balboa, SF. (415) 751-9690. www.cinderellabakery.com

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST FLURRY FORECASTS

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Though winter chills have given way to summer chills, SF residents won’t forget the “it’s gonna snow!” moment of February 2011. During this glorious time, we had not one, but two, reliable weather websites we could turn to: isitsnowinginsanfrancisco.com and isitsnowinginsfyet.com. Taking a cue from isitchristmas.com, the sites’ simple 1990s-era setups and delightfully snarky pre- and post-snow quips combined to make SF’s most recent winter weather hysteria a lot more fun for the majority of the city who didn’t see flakes. (Enough of the subfreezing temperature gloating, Sunset and Twin Peaks — you’re covered in fog the other 364 days of the year.)

www.isitsnowinginsanfrancisco.com, www.isitsnowinginsfyet.com

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST KEPT KITTY CLUB

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A horizontal open bag of kibble is not the only thing needed to ensure cat survival on your mid-August getaway. But Pet Camp’s Cat Safari dangles off the other end of the kitty-care spectrum. Appropriately tucked along the mansions and boutiques of Presidio Heights, its facilities include an indoor jungle gym where your precious can rub furry elbows with other pampered felines, huge garden windows, aquariums to gaze at, myriad perches, and even twirling club lights (to facilitate a killer catnip trip?). For the rare feline that actually gives a shit about people, Cat Safari even offers “very individualized playtime sessions.” Your lap never looked so boring.

3233 Sacramento, SF. (415) 282-0700, www.petcamp.com




Best of the Bay 2011:BEST MORNING-AFTER MEDICINE

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You’ve just experienced one of those glorious one-night stands you read about in fairy tales like the “Sex and the City” columns of yore. But the morning after … well, let’s just say things aren’t exactly coming up roses. Where do you turn for safe, comfortable, confidential STD testing and treatment? San Francisco City Clinic, of course. This year the clinic is celebrating 100 years of zapping not just simple post-tryst maladies, but more alarming epidemics as well. From the “red plague” of the Barbary Coast (syphilis) to the devastation of “gay cancer” (AIDS) and beyond, the capable city clinicians — trained through the San Francisco Department of Public Health — have fought back against STDs in an honest, shame-free environment. Free and low-cost diagnosis and treatments are a priority; promoting healthy sex while protecting against transmission and outbreaks is the mission.

356 Seventh St., SF. (415) 487-5500, www.sfcityclinic.org, www.100yearsofsex.org

Best of the Bay 2011 Editors Picks: Shopping

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Best of the Bay 2011 Editors Picks

Shopping

 

BEST VINYL FLIPPERS

Tweekin Records in the Lower Haight was one of the centers of Bay Area dance music culture for the better part of two decades. But besides the basic insanity of operating a specialty record store in these e-times, the Tweekin brand had gotten a bit ragged over the years. So it was a charge for vinyl lovers when Manny Alferez and crew stepped up for a reinvigoration, unveiling Black Pancake Records. Pretty much the same concept reigns: great funk, soul, house, techno, jazz, and even (gasp!) rock records, plus a friendly staff with some primo recommendations. Perhaps best of all, there are a couple of those rarest of beasts — listening stations. Yep, you can put the actual circular whatsit on the doohickey that spins around and hear it make the music, little Johnny. All without clickety-clicking on the wee mouse-thingy.

593 Haight, SF. (415) 626-6995, www.blackpancakerecords.com

 

BEST EVERYDAY KAN DO

Peruse the labels of say, a kitty-shaped exfoliating washcloth or exquisitely lacquered bento box at Ichiban Kan, and you’re likely to see a Good Housekeeping seal of approval-style label trumpeting that the item won a design award in Japan. At times it seems like everything wins a design award in Japan, then the realization sets in that no other country seems to have dedicated itself so fervently to assuring that the everyday things of life — from paper clips to cooking utensils — be attractive, eminently functional, durable, and well-designed. When we want to load up on the best of the quotidian (we’re particular fans of the rolls of plastic wrap for $1), we come here.

Various locations, www.ichibankanusa.com

 

BEST GEEKDOM: THE GATHERING

It’s a constant nerd alert — not that that’s a bad thing — at Cards and Comics Central, a Richmond District shop where employees know the difference between vine whips and seed bombs and can explain why destroy effects don’t harm a cattank. Kids into Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokémon, or Magic will be overwhelmed by the shop’s vast selection. Parents will be overwhelmed at the price tag — you can spend more than $100 on a single card, though assorted decks (available for under $10) might keep the average young collector sated. Check out the back room for the real action — pale adults playing Magic with an intensity you won’t find at most Vegas poker tables.

5424 Geary, SF. (415) 668-3544, www.candccentral.com

 

BEST REFILL, NOT LANDFILL

What does it take to win a gazillion green business awards? It certainly starts with a great concept, a seriously vetted supply chain, and a commitment to spreading the eco-word. It also helps to have a pleasing storefront in Noe Valley, cute and eager staff, luscious products, and bulk-store prices without the forklifts and doublewide shopping carts. Green 11, launched by married couple Marco Pietschmann and Bettina Limaco and inspired by a Rachel Carson observation (“For the first time in history, every human being is being subjected to contact with dangerous chemicals, from the moment of conception to death.”), offers soaps, cleaning supplies, pet food, shampoo, conditioners, and lotions, all ready for your refillable, affordable use. Bring your own containers or put for up a starter container at the store.

3980 24th St., SF. (415) 425-5195. www.shopgreen11.com

 

BEST FAIR FEATHERS

You think your head hurts from the plumage parade that alit on Dolo Park this year? Think of the feather-farm roosters and other avian amigos that have lost their lives to appease the current mania for quill jewelry and hair extensions. Happily, two gentle crafters have taken the torture out of the trend: Erykah Prentice and Martha Hudson started their accessories label Divine Dandelions for peace, not plucking. The two create their cascading earrings and fanciful headdresses from foraged feathers, selling them from a sweet little gazebo at festivals up and down the West Coast. If you find yourself Bay-bound during next month’s Gaia Festival (up in the hills of Laytonville), you can always check out their Kahlil Gibran-quoting website for custom-made creations.

www.divinedandelions.com

 

BEST MEMORY TRANSFERENCE

Are your childhood camcorder memories gathering worrisome mildew by the minute? Entrust your VHS-ed precious moments to the Mission’s Video Transfer Center run by Jennifer Miko, a 2008 graduate of the L. Jeffrey Selznick School of Film Preservation and a collaborator with the Image Permanence Institute. Miko, along with husband Buck Bito, boasts some of the best equipment in the biz — including a fancy-pants transfer system for 8mm and Super-8 that the center says is California’s first and only. For a small fee, the team will inspect, repair, and transfer your film memories to a digital format that will last forever … or at least until we figure out brain-to-brain info-beaming.

395 South Van Ness, SF. (415) 558-8815, www.videotransfercenter.com

 

BEST BUGS BUNNY B-BOY FLASHBACKS

Mission vintage stores tend to cater to your typical high-waisted jean-clad, chain-smoking-in-front-of-Four-Barrel kind of girl. (We love her!) But New Jack City is a breath of fresh hype air. This “throwback goods” outpost at 15th and Guerrero streets specializes in sports gear and B-boy stylings straight from your favorite scene in Houseparty 2. Vintage Giants jackets, old school stripes, Bugs Bunny tees of various ages, priceless Afro-centric relics, and breezy caps repping teams or just plain reppin’ … . Actual 1980s and ’90s B-boys (and newer admirers) will feel they never left their Cold Crush Brothers and KRS-One cassettes in their cousin’s janky hoopty’s deck once they step inside.

299 Guerrero, SF. (415) 624-3751, newjackcitysf.blogspot.com

 

BEST REASON TO NOT GET OUT OF BED

You know those girls who flounce down 24th Street, vintage pastel print sundresses fluttering over their kicky cork wedge sandals, carrying a perfect sexy grandma purse? We know their style secret. Oakland’s Field Day Wearables’ bedding dresses are handmade by a crunchy-awesome label that wants to take the disposable out of fashion. They’ve got pockets and detachable straps that double as a matchy-match headband, and you can find them in patterns from striped to pansied to Batman (yes, they’re made from actual sheets). Score ’em at myriad brick-and-mortar distributing boutiques — or even better, by trying them on over your jeans at one of the craft fairs and street walks where FDW sets up a pretty post.

Available at various Bay Area locations. www.fielddaywearables.com

 

BEST SMALL WORLDS AFTER ALL

Apparently all the people who came of age in the late 1960s and early ’70s are either dead or too busy filling out Social Security forms to notice that at least one of their cherished craft projects is making a comeback. (No, not candle-splattered Mateus wine bottles or macramé hanging plant slings.) We’re talking about terrariums, the terrestrial equivalent of a ship in a bottle. So what if many G4-era terrarium enthusiasts call them “terraniums”? Their variation on vivarium nomenclature does nothing to diminish the charm of these glassed-in mini-worlds. And particularly high on the charm assessment scale are the creations of the good women of Studio Choo, part of Prairie Collective, whose arrangements of tiny ferns, succulents, and other floral inspire full minutes of unbroken, smart phone-free contemplation.

Available at Prairie Collective 262 Divisadero. (415) 701-8701, www.studiochoo.com, www.prairiecollective.com


BEST BET FOR BAROQUE BEAUTY

You’ve redecorated your living room, but still something is missing. Could it be? Yes it is — a fuchsia-toned chaise lounge. Do not despair, for we have your marching orders: SF Antiques and Design Mall. The 13-year-old Bayview behemoth is something akin to an indoor flea market, and is home to 200 experts in the art of antique, all of whom have booths filled to the brim with fanciful paperweights, glittering heaps of costume jewelry, and ever-so-whimsical seating options. Seriously, if your interior design is hankering for a touch of the over-embellished, a whiff of kitsch, or perhaps a splash of hanging basket chair, you will find it here.

701 Bayshore, SF. (415) 656-3530, www.sfantique.com

 

BEST FASHION SHRINE

Natural wooden tables, colorful blankets spread here and there, a goat’s head staring placidly down on wonder-covered shelves — Hayes Valley’s Reliquary could be a gaucho explorer’s treasure room. And — minus the gaucho part — that’s pretty much what boutique owner Leah Bershad has created it to be. Bershad stocks the year-old space with crafts and vintage finds from all around the country, plus Europe and — in the case of some elaborate bead-and-quilt satchels stacked near the counter — Afghanistan. The store’s racks of secondhand embroidered dresses and its smattering of designer wear like high-waisted Court denim mean that, as far as fashion church goes, Reliquary lives up to its name: a container for sacred relics.

537 Octavia, SF. (415) 431-4000, reliquarysf.tumblr.com

 

BEST PLACE TO BUY 300 PAIRS OF PANTS, 250 TELEPHONES, OR 7,651 RUBBER GASKETS

If you’ve ever spent an afternoon wistfully clicking your way through the Craigslist “free” section — pondering all you could do with an extra this or that — you’ve sampled a certain seductive sweet taste. Beware: the California Materials Exchange is crack to Craigslist’s cocaine. It’s eBay on steroids, Urban Ore for colossi. A state-sponsored recycling program, CalMAX facilitates the transfer of bulk, odd, and industrially useful products for wholesale and discount rates, and sometimes for free. So, looking for extra cubicles? How ’bout a free 1000-gallon asphalt-emulsion tank? Or 7,500 pounds of apparel, including 300 women’s black twill pants missing only the waist button? That’ll cost you a paltry 10 grand, but for someone with a plan — and a lot of storage — it could be just the thing.

www.calrecycle.ca.gov/CalMAX

 

BEST SHOP FOR THE SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS STITCH

A sobering fact: your clothes were probably made in a sweatshop (sorry). Most of our industrially produced togs — you are probably aware — are made by people making far from decent wages, working with toxic, health-shattering dyes. Small wonder then that local fiber movements are beginning to stitch. Visit Oakland yarn shop A Verb For Keeping Warm to be indoctrinated. Owner Kristine Vejar sells an in-house line of local fibers and natural dyes, and stocks other brands as well. Plus she gives classes on the skills you need to clothe yourself sustainably and hosts free sewing nights to develop community among people who purl — responsibly.

6328 San Pablo, Oakl. (510) 595-8372, www.averbforkeepingwarm.com

 

BEST WAY TO SIGN UP

Beautify the street and bolster your curb appeal in classic style with some legit hand-lettering from New Bohemia Signs. Using traditional enamels and gold leaf, New Bohemia practices its old-school art with pride — snazzing up placards with over-the-top fonts, providing elegant window signage for boutiques and restaurants, crafting appetizing menu boards, even revamping your Victorian with a gilded transom. Founder Damon Styer and crew have also branched out into the gallery scene: a recent art show at Guerrero Gallery featured work by present and past New Bohemia staff. The vintage feel, handmade aesthetic, and design-addict cache — New Bohemia’s products have even been salivated over in The New York Times — seem a perfect sign of our local, small-batch, skill-appreciative times.

281 Ninth St., SF. (415) 864-7057, www.newbohemiasigns.com

 

BEST PROTOTYPES (PRIMATE OR OTHERWISE)

The website of the Foam Monkeys concept modeling studio has an “awards” section that admits, “While we can’t honestly recall Foam Monkeys ever actually being mentioned for an award, the company has certainly been a part of many award-winning product development teams.” But we’re giving the company itself a real, bona fide Best of the Bay to boast about. Why? Because! Here you can not only construct a polyurethane primate, but also all sorts of useful stuff — like prototypes for everything from MacBooks to microchips. Sure, the company is geared toward creating serious conceptual models for industrial design and product development, but that doesn’t make the idea of an accessible foam-based 3-D modeling studio any less awesome.

32 Shotwell, SF. (415) 552-5577, www.foammonkeys.com

 

BEST SONIC SAFARI

Deep in the thick of the taquerias, bodegas, butcher shops , and joyerias of 24th Street dwells this exotic little shopping outpost for fearless cultural adventurers. Explorist International captain Chris Dixon (known on assorted music bills as Phengren Oswald) lets his collector come out to play here, sharing new and used recordings of global party riddims, heady jazz, weird old folk and country blues, and various unclassifiables — as well as art books, micro-run zines, and McSweeney’s volumes. The record bins are where the real action is, though: Moondog vinyl canoodles with Sperm Walls rarities, and Charlie Nothing crashes with the Indonesian prog and funk of Those Shocking, Shaking Days. Would we like to snag that vinyl copy of Luk Thung: Classic and Obscure 78s from the Thai Countryside? Yes, Dr. Livingstone, we would indeed.

3174 24th St., SF. (415) 400-5850, www.exploristinternational.com

 

BEST CHEAP PLACE TO SCORE A CUP AND A CONRAD

Literature and coffee: such sweet, sweet dependencies. Enable both on the cheap at Reader’s Café . Inconspicuous to those on a casual Fort Mason stroll, this used book treasure trove on the bay is infinite and grand once found. With $20, it’s possible to take home a few written works (some only $1!) and still have change for indulging in a custom-brewed cup of Blue Bottle. Reader’s is a production of the San Francisco Friends of the Library, so not only does each purchase soothe the DTs, it’s for a good cause.

Building C, Room 165, Fort Mason Center, SF. (415) 771-1076, www.readerscafe.org

 

BEST PARTNER IN PREUSED PURCHASE

In a perfect world, each visit to the Apartment would be a leisurely half-day treasure hunt. The Mission District store is packed with vintage furnishings, boxes of old family photos and 1960s magazines, even a $1 tray for affordable finds. No plywood or cheap IKEA stuff here — everything on offer is well maintained and crafted. Of course, that quality comes with some heft, but if you’ve fallen in love with a cedar armoire when you were supposed to be on the hunt for a throw rug, the Apartment will pay for its delivery: $65 plus $10 for every flight of stairs it must ascend to your door. So accommodating!

3469 18th St., SF. (415) 255-1100

 

BEST ANTI-GOLIATH GAME FACE

After a five-year effort by chain-wary neighborhood activists to keep it off the grand hippie boulevard, megachain Whole Foods opened at Haight and Stanyan streets early this year. It furthered the neighborhood’s fitful transmogrification into Fancy Town (or Ashbury Valley, the ‘hood’s new NoPa-like real estate agency-created moniker), but Haight Street Market is rising to this market-share challenge. With shifts starting before the crack of dawn, the 30-year-old family-owned shop has stepped it up, adding a high-quality butcher counter, a deli, the least pricey and most diverse beer selection in the Upper Haight, and a buffed-up coffee selection. If only all small businesses could up their game in the face of corporate claims.

1530 Haight, SF. (415) 255-0644, www.haightstreetmarket.com

 

BEST LEATHER-SCENTED TIME WARP

Stepping into cobbler Suzanne George’s shop is like entering a hide-covered time warp. George crafts her clodhoppers in much the same way that shoes were made several hundred years ago. She works the leather by hand, stitching the pieces with thread and hammering it all together with actual nails. Not only are the shoes custom-made to fit every tootsie they encase, they are also unique pieces of art, nearly too lovely to take tramping on the dirty pavement. George shares her high-quality, low-technology workshop with Peter, a shoemaker originally from Italy who used to make sandals for Mother Teresa. Together they make some damn fine throwback sling-backs.

1787 Church, SF. (415) 775-1775, www.suzannegeorgeshoes.com

 

BEST COUCH-BOUND — BUT COMMUNITY-MINDED — STONER’S DREAM COME TRUE

While a marijuana home delivery business may sound like nothing more than a couch-bound stoner’s dream come true, the Green Cross actually offers a valuable service to many of the city’s neediest residents who are less mobile as a result of illness, disability, or age. And this is no slapdash selection, either. Brick-and-mortar dispensaries can’t beat its impressive array of hard-to-find THC-infused specialty items like olive oil and agave nectar. Plus it boasts vegan, gluten-free, and nut-free goodies, all made in-house. So toke it all in — a portion of the proceeds are reinvested in the community, supporting social service agencies like the SF AIDS Foundation and the YMCA.

(415) 648-4420, www.thegreencross.org

 

BEST GOAL-GETTERS

Toby and Libby Rappolt hardly leave the balls behind when they exit their 20-year business, Sunset Soccer Supply, for the day. The Rappolts are players, coaches, and fans too. If they’re not holding up the counter at their shop, chatting with regulars about the most recent match or the best way to teach a kid to dribble or selling a team-sized box of scrimmage vests, there’s a good chance they’re out supporting the SF soccer community. The business is especially into rooting for women’s teams: it was present at the Civic Center showing of the World Cup final, it sponsors tournaments, and it has even invited players to in-store signings.

3401 Irving, SF. (415) 753-2666, www.sunsetsoccer.com

 

BEST PLACE TO PUT A CORD ON IT

Where to trundle if you want to wear that pretty pierced stone you found on your first anniversary hike up Mount Diablo? The Bead Store has a vast assortment of necklace-ready cords, and the Castro shop’s friendly staff can point you toward a nice clasp, or even tie a slip-knot for you if you’re not fancy. It’s the city’s smallest and oldest bead store — it has been in the same spot since 1964 — and stocks centuries-old beads and rare stones you won’t find anywhere else, as well as the standard tools you need to take your diamonds from the rough.

417 Castro, SF. (415) 861-7332, www.thebeadstoresf.com

 

BEST RING OF SUCCESS

Jewelry — it can be scary! We don’t mean the fun ornamental kind of jewelry, like Celtic nipple rings or jade idol earrings or purple pentagram pendants (although those can be scary too). No, we’re referring to real jewelry — like the fancy traditional kind you’d better get right or Bridezilla/o is gonna ‘splode and slap you silly with a rolled-up copy of Country Weddings magazine. How will you know how to score the perfect engagement ring, or wedding band, or anniversary bracelet, or birthday watch? Don’t fret. The enormously helpful and nice folks of Just Bands will help you with everything, from sizing and color to design and polish. Their showroom in the labyrinthine San Francisco Gift Center sparkles not just with diamonds and silver, but with the smiles of satisfied lovers whose romance wasn’t tarnished by stressful transactions.

888 Brannan, Suite 151, SF. (415) 626-2318

 

BEST THROUGH THE RABBIT HOLE

The N-Judah thunders by it dozens of times a day, but because it’s tucked well back in a garden courtyard, you’d never know this spirited, magickal little “multitraditional world mysticism” shop existed. Unless you capital-K Know. Look into your third eye: do you Know? Randy, the genial owner of the Sword and the Rose — a man who is part Keith Richards, part Baba Yaga — definitely Knows. And he’ll graciously tell you, spinning tales of about gods and goddesses from esoteric cultures past and present, or reading your tarot cards in a cozy nook warmed by an amber fire, or selling you his house-produced incense, or offering lessons in spellcraft, all while bestowing friendly (if a bit confusing to the uninitiated) guidance to more transcendent realms. First stop: Cole and Carl streets. Next stop: the Divine.

85 Carl, SF. (415) 681-5434

 

BEST BARREL FULL OF MONKEY SUITS

Let’s face it, if you’re a happenin’ gentleman or a trouser-trusting lady in this fancy-pants city, you’re going to need to bust out the occasional tuxedo. But who wants to spend a few hundred bucks on a new tux? Screw that noise, get over to Held Over, and check out the selection of $20 used tux shirts and wide variety of full monkey suits — from the 1970s-style mariachi look to something a bit more classic. Hell, why don’t you mix-and-match it up? They’ve already got you in a suit, so you might as well have some fun with it.

1542 Haight, SF. (415) 864-0818

 

BEST GRAND POOBAH OF THE PAST

A visit to the cavernous Potrero Hill digs of Big Daddy’s Antiques ushers you into a wondrous, uncannily postmodern version of the past. There’s definitely a little vintage-meets-steampunk aesthetic going on — Big Daddy grand poobah Shane Brown and his magic elves have collected enough old-school film lights, globes, wooden angel wings, horse-drawn buggies, large animal heads, giant pillars, and studio cameras with bellows to kit out the dreams of antique queens and cyber-fanboys alike. (Tech guys, please get your decor here.) And the large collection of Depression-era Americana like shoe shop signs and flag bunting adds to the pleasantly discombobulating Twilight Zone feel. Don’t worry though; the amiable Big Daddy’s staff will guide you though it all.

1550 17th St., SF. (415) 621-6800, www.bdantiques.com

 

BEST SHOT OF PANACHE

We just have one question for you, Revolver: can we move in? We would fit so well in your charming, roomy, homey, comfy store-and-gallery. On warm summer days, we could don one of your light summer frocks and Illesteva sunglasses, like contemporary post-ironic preppies but not that heavy; seal in our dewy look with one of your delicious moisturizers; and have coffee while pondering the art on display in your back room. Evenings, we could venture out in a pair of Tretorn rubber boots or suede Volta high tops and Creep khaki chinos, then settle in for the night on one of your durable cotton Japanese Workers pillow covers. In short, Revolver, we like everything about your small, beautifully curated store. Just one more thing: Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you glad to see us?

136 Fillmore, SF. (415) 578-3363, www.revolversf.com

 

BEST HOLGA ROLLS

You know what’s tired? Using your iPhone to take a picture of yourself in the mirror for your Google+ profile. You know what’s not tired? Using a low-fi medium format 120 film Chinese toy camera from the 1980s to snap that same pic. Sure, you could just download Hipstamatic, but the hardcore among us prefer to use the delightful original mechanism — an actual Holga camera — which, thanks to a mini-craze in the past few years, has become readily available in the U.S. But you’ll need the right roll of film, and the awesome Photoworks is here to provide. Photoworks stocks hard-to-find film from all over the world, offers excellent print production services, and will even stretch your Holga hotness on a canvas to hang in your hallway.

2077-A Market, SF. (415) 626-6800, www.photoworkssf.com

 

BEST NATURE NOOKIE NAPSACKS

Backpacks, tents, and BPA-free utensils designed with an eye for classic retro outdoors-y accouterments (think 1980s L.L. Bean and 1970s RV campers), Mission District-based camping company Alite Designs‘ gear is innovative, body conscious, and oh-so-considerate of our decadent ways. Take for example its Sexy Hotness sleeping bag — at first glance, just a pretty sack for camp-crashing, but unzip the center fastener and it becomes a thermo-Snuggie with built-in feet, its center zipper freeing your nether regions for trips to the john or even a little nature nookie. Plus, the bags connect endlessly, so if you roll deep ‘n’ dirty, your camp orgies will be well served.

2505 Mariposa, SF. (415) 626-1526, www.alitedesigns.com

Best of the Bay 2011 Readers Poll: Shopping

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BEST OF THE BAY 2011: READERS POLL

SHOPPING

 

BEST OVERALL BOOKSTORE/ BEST USED BOOK STORE

Green Apple

506 Clement, SF. (415) 387-2272, www.greenapplebooks.com

 

BEST COMIC BOOK STORE

Isotope

326 Fell, SF. (415) 621-6543, www.isotopecomics.com

 

BEST MAGAZINE SELECTION

Fog City News

455 Market, SF. (415) 543-7400, www.fogcitynews.com

 

BEST RECORD STORE

Amoeba

1855 Haight, SF. (415) 831-1200 and 2455 Telegraph, Berk. (510) 549-1125, www.amoeba.com

 

BEST VIDEO STORE

Le Video

1231 9th Ave., SF. (415) 566-3606, www.levideo.com

 

BEST GROCERY STORE

Rainbow Grocery

1745 Folsom, SF. (415) 863-0620, www.rainbowgrocery.org

 

BEST CLOTHING STORE (WOMEN)

Ambiance

Various locations, SF. www.ambiancesf.com

 

BEST CLOTHING STORE (MEN)

Sui Generis “ille”

2231 Market, SF. (415) 437-2231, www.suigenerisconsignment.com

 

BEST CLOTHING STORE (KIDS)

Chloe’s Closet

451 Cortland, SF. (415) 642-3300, www.chloescloset.com

 

BEST SHOP FOR PARENTS-TO-BE

Natural Resources

1367 Valencia, SF. (415) 550-2611, www.naturalresources-sf.com

 

BEST VINTAGE CLOTHING STORE

La Rosa Vintage

1171 Haight, SF. (415) 668-3744

 

BEST LOCAL DESIGNER

Colleen Mauer

(415) 637-7762, www.colleenmauerdesigns.com

 

BEST FLEA MARKET

Alameda Point Antiques and Collectibles Fair

Main and Navy, Alameda. (510) 522-7500, www.antiquesbybay.com

 

BEST THRIFT STORE

Thrift Town

2101 Mission, SF. (415) 861-1132, www.thrifttown.com

 

BEST SHOE STORE

Shoe Biz

Various locations, SF. www.shoebizsf.com

 

BEST FURNITURE STORE

Room and Board

685 Seventh St., SF. (415) 252-9280, www.roomandboard.com

 

BEST HARDWARE STORE

Cole Hardware

Various locations, SF. www.colehardware.com

 

BEST TOY STORE

The Ark

Various locations. www.thearktoys.com

 

BEST BIKE SHOP

Box Dog Bikes

494 14th St., SF. (415) 431-9627, www.boxdogbikes.com

 

BEST PET SHOP

Pet Food Express

Various locations, www.petfoodexpress.com

 

BEST GIFT SHOP

Heartfelt

346 Cortland, SF. (415) 648-1380, www.heartfeltsf.com

 

BEST PLACE TO BUY EYEWEAR

Eye Gotcha Optometric

586 Castro, SF. (415) 431-2988, www.eyegotchasf.com

 

BEST CANNABIS CLUB

SPARC

1256 Mission, SF. (415) 252-7727, www.sparcsf.org

 

BEST STORE STAFF

Artillery Apparel Gallery

2751 Mission, SF. (415) 374-7841, www.artillery-ag.com

 

BEST QUIRKY SPECIALTY STORE

Paxton Gate

824 Valencia, SF. (415) 824-1872, www.paxtongate.com

 

BEST SPORTING GOODS STORE

Sports Basement

Various Bay Area locations. www.sportsbasement.com

 

BEST FLOWER SHOP

Church Street Flowers

212 Church, SF. (415) 553-7762, www.churchstreetflowers.com

 

BEST PLACE TO BUY LINGERIE

Dark Garden

321 Linden, SF. (415) 431-7684, www.darkgarden.com

 

BEST PLACE TO BUY SEX TOYS

Good Vibrations

Various Bay Area locations. www.goodvibes.com

 

BEST PLACE TO BUY FETISH GEAR

Madame S and Mr. S Leather

385 Eighth St., SF. (415) 863-9447, www.madame-s.com, www.mr-s-leather.com

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST CELL PHONE SAGE

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Get back, consumerist hoo-ha! Popular wisdom tells us that iPhones, like love and Goldfish crackers, are ephemeral. Crack your screen? Time for a new iPhone. Drop it in the toilet? Wassup, Apple store. But Shakeel the iPhone Guy sees through the capitalist flapjaw. The enterprising, customer service-oriented, cash-only Apple wizard operates out of a South San Francisco storage unit, stocks replacement parts, and can fix things we didn’t know were fixable, even waterlogged cell phones. He gives you a one-year guarantee on parts and labor — and all for prices way below what you’d find anywhere near official Mac Death Star retailers. No wonder the man’s a Yelp celebrity.

160 S. Spruce, Suite C001, South San Francisco. (650) 861-2810

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST STUBBORNLY ROOTED NEIGHBORHOOD NURSERY

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The subject of an ongoing, highly politicized brouhaha (San Francisco’s Recreation and Parks Department is seeking to evict it) also happens to be an excellent place to shop for compost. The Haight Ashbury Neighborhood Council (HANC) Recycling Center plant nursery is a treasure trove for gardeners who want to transform backyard plots to reflect the Bay Area’s natural ecology. HANC’s botanical collection features dozens of varieties native to San Francisco — all the better to attract winged visitors and helpful pollinators. Expertly tended by the green-thumbed Greg Gaar, seedlings sprouted under HANC’s care have also benefited urban ecology projects like the Mission Greenbelt.

780 Frederick, SF. (415) 753-0932, www.hanc-sf.org

Best of the Bay 2011: BEST SAX ‘N’ SUDS

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Who doesn’t like a little Miles with their rinse, a little Bird when they scrub, or some sweet, sweet flights of Mingus while they watch the tumble-dry? If your washing life seems culturally impoverished, then put a little Louis in your laundry at the Fillmore District’s Jazz Wash. Piped in scat, bebop, swing, and jazz standards help lift spirits while the state-of-the-art washers help lift stains. This little Laundromat has free Wi-Fi and a friendly, responsive owner who likes to mingle. The “midweek special” is a true deal: on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, it’s only $1.50 for a 30-pound wash. Perks other than joint’s squeaky cleanliness and squeaky saxiness? We’ve run into a few hottie jazz aficionados here who’ve made us quite Dizzy Gillespie.

1119 Fillmore, SF. (415) 238-5791