SFBG Blogs Archives — Page 415 of 597 — San Francisco Bay Guardian Archive 1966

alt.sex.column: Heterosexuality on parade

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February 10, 2009

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By Andrea Nemerson. View more alt.sex.columns here.

Dear Andrea:

During sexual intercourse, what techniques can the woman do with her vagina to make sex feel really good for the man?

Love,

Trixie

Dear Trix:

Why is this question making me laugh? I’m afraid it might be — I’m almost positive it is — the indelibly etched sequence from an early South Park episode, the one where Winona Ryder shoots ping-pong balls … well, maybe you had to have been there. But it’s making me laugh, anyway.

So, what can you do with your vagina that doesn’t involve ping-pong balls? You do know you don’t have to do all that much, right, since the vagina is pretty much already designed evolved to feel good to penises? Unless there is a terrible size mismatch (in either direction, but I was thinking small M/big F), the man is not likely to have too many complaints. Aside from that, oddly, the answer actually is the ping-pong ball trick, or pretty near. Those Patpong ping-pong girls and their sisters, who made that sort of thing famous, were developing their pubococcygeus and associated muscles, doing the famous Kegel exercises. I think Kegels may be overrated — they are good for a lot, but the way they get written up you’d think they could reverse global warming, revive Britney Spears’ career (well, they might could do that), and figure out what to do about Gaza, all on their own. They can’t really do any of those things, but if you develop a whole lotta muscle tone down there, you can perform a modest version of the ping-pong trick and pleasantly surprise a boyfriend. You can add extra lube, you can try that warming stuff, you can play with ice, but mostly what you’re going to be doing is squeezing and releasing to various tempos and with varying degrees of pressure. Other than that, I’m afraid there just aren’t that many tricks the old girl can get up to. I mean, it can juggle, sort of, and do a good approximation of the squirting-flower joke, but it can’t spin plates or do a triple lutz or make an elephant disappear. And if it can make an elephant disappear, I’d really rather not hear about it.

Love,

Andrea

Dear Andrea:

Are there things I can do with my penis that will make sex feel better for my girlfriend? It’s good now, but I was wondering what could make it even better.

Love,

Eager Student

Dear Stu:

Stars (at Shindig) 69

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February 10, 2009

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By Molly Freedenberg

Sure, we’ve mentioned Shindig 69 once before, but we think a party honoring the go-go-inspired sexiness of the ’60s is worth mentioning again. (After all, without the history of go-go dancers, how would we all know what to do with those raised platforms in dance clubs? You know, the ones you need seven shots of tequila to even get near …)

The highlight of this event, which serves as both pre-V-Day celebration and a fundraiser for the Keep a Breast Foundation, is surely the Devil-Ettes. For nearly a decade, this gaggle of dancing girls has been delighting audiences with their synchronized moves, short skirts, long boots, and cheeky cuteness. This time ’round, they’re joined by ubiquitous MC, singer, and burlesque performer Kitten on the Keys, as well as Kiki Bomb, Kellita, The Riff Ditties Orchestra, and The Cement Gardens – plus DJs from Bardot a Go Go, Teenage Dance Craze, and Tiki Oasis.

Put on your Pucci mini, or polish your mod mane, and head on over for some good dancin’ and an even better cause.

Shindig 69
Feb. 12, 8:30pm, $10
Rickshaw Stop
155 Fell, SF.
www.devilettes.com

Also check out more Valentine’s Day events at www.sfbg.com.

Nye: How Obama Leads

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February 10, 2009

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Joseph S. Nye Jr. writes a monthly column for the Project Syndicate news series, where he provides a unique perspective on the dynamics and principles shaping global affairs today. Nye is Distinguished Service Professor at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government and author, most recently, of The Powers to Lead.

How Obama Leads

By Joseph S. Nye, Jr.

CAMBRIDGE – Two years ago, Barack Obama was a first-term senator from a mid-western state who had declared his interest in running for the presidency. Many people were skeptical that an African-American with a strange name and little national experience could win. But as his campaign unfolded, he demonstrated that he possessed the powers to lead – both soft and hard.

Soft power is the ability to attract others, and the three key soft-power skills are emotional intelligence, vision, and communications. In addition, a successful leader needs the hard-power skills of organizational and Machiavellian political capacity. Equally important is the contextual intelligence that allows a leader to vary the mix of these skills in different situations to produce the successful combinations that I call “smart power.”

Petitions demand more BART police prosecutions

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February 10, 2009

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By Joe Sciarrillo

Civil rights leaders today delivered about 20,000 petitions to Alameda County District Attorney Tom Orloff urging him to prosecute BART police officer Tony Pirone for punching passenger Oscar Grant shortly before Grant was shot to death on New Year’s Day by fellow officer Johannes Mehserle, who Orloff has charged with murder.

The activists were led by ColorOfChange.org, which released a statement criticizing Orloff “failing to uphold California law in his refusal to bring charges against BART police officer Tony Pirone,” who was captured on video punching Grant in the face just before Mehserle shot Grant. Orloff has since refused to press charges against Pirone.

Alameda District Attorney Inspector Bob Conner has refused to comment on the case, citing the gag order imposed by Alameda County Superior Court Judge Morris Jacobson. When asked to comment on ColorOfChange’s planned event, Conner was not yet aware of the protest. He simply responded, “Everyone is entitled to protest.”

Boycott Kelloggs!

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February 10, 2009

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By Tim Redmond

I don’t eat that shit anyway, but my kids do,and I’m not going to buy it any more. I’m supporting the Kellogg’s boycott. Drunk driving’s okay but a bong hit isn’t?

Besides, everyone knows it’s better to eat at Subway.

American Apparel will kill us all

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February 10, 2009

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By Juliette Tang

Could it happen here?

Ever since the San Francisco Planning Commission denied American Apparel’s request to set up shop in the Mission by a 7-0 vote because of you wonderfully protest-happy people of San Francisco, I’ve been wondering if the battle is really over. American Apparel is already trying to kill us with kindness, by offering anyone with a valid Mission address on their California driver’s license 25% off anything in the store until March 15, possibly because they know that they’d lose approximately 75% of their business in San Francisco if Mission hipsters suddenly decided they didn’t have a fondness for unisex slacks anymore. It’s a nice offer, surely, but personally, I’d feel hypocritical for using it.

As we’ve seen in this struggle, American Apparel is an aggressive corporation with a lot of muscle. It’s nice that they’re appeasing Mission residents with this 25% off offer — though in these tough times, even with the discount, I don’t know many people who want to spend $25 on a disco unitard. [Ed Note: And the offer will drive business out of the Mission! Clever, clever.] But what if the assault doesn’t end here? What if the olive branch is just a way for American Apparel to pull the wool over our eyes, while they hatch their plot to punish San Francisco for denying them access to Valencia Street? Remember that the term “kill with kindness” originated in Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, from Petruchio’s line: “This is a way to kill a wife with kindness,” and ultimately refers to the following tactic: divert attention, then attack.

I’m not saying we should boycott American Apparel. I’m saying that if we have to go into battle once again, we need to be just as prepared as we were for the last one. After much study and consideration, I present to you a countdown of eight possible revenge attacks by American Apparel, after the jump.

American Apparel makes amends with the Mission

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February 10, 2009

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aa ad.jpg
By Steven T. Jones

When Mission residents mounted an opposition campaign to an American Apparel opening a store on Valencia Street, the chain didn’t respond very well and ended up being denied by the Planning Commission last week. But it has now chosen to respond to that defeat in a way that’s smart, classy, and respectful of the Mission hipsters that are its core demographic.

As reported on the blog Mission Mission, American Apparel has posted a conciliatory note on the vacant storefront it’s leasing, saying it has learned an important lesson about how to properly approach neighborhoods like the Mission and offering all Mission residents a 25 percent discount at its other San Francisco stores.

In the righteous battle against corporate homogenization, the case against American Apparel was always what attorneys call “a wobbler.” Opponents raised valid concerns, but this company was never the devil. And now that it followed up in stand-up fashion, we can all still wear our AA undies with pride.

[Ed Note: and fear?]

Pillow fight!

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February 10, 2009

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By Molly Freedenberg

Lesbians do it in bed.

It seems everyone has a pillow fight fantasy. For some, it’s along the lines of the slumber party/adolescent masturbation material variety. For the brilliant cacophonists who started the annual Valentine’s Day pillow fight in Justin Herman Plaza, it’s more flash mob than skin flick. But don’t think that takes any of the sexiness out of it.

Oh, no.

In fact, there are few things more exciting, more cathartic, and just plain fun than hundreds of strangers hitting each other with soft things in the name of love. So grab your pals and your pillows and head to the Embarcadero on Saturday. Just remember: hide your bedding the best you can on the way there, and don’t start swingin’ til the clock hits six.

Hittin’ it in 2008.

(Like public wackiness a la Santacon and the Pillow Fight? Start planning now for The Brides of March on March 14.)

Pillow Fight
Feb. 14, 6pm, free
Justin Herman Plaza, SF
pillowfight.info

Check out more Valentine’s Day events at www.sfbg.com.

Why we’re broke

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February 10, 2009

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By Tim Redmond

State Sen. Mark Leno explained to me a few days ago that, despite the GOP’s claim that California has “a spending problem,” when you actually look at how state spending has increased over the past 20 years, you get a very different picture. Actually, after accounting for inflation and population growth, state spending would have been relatively flat — save for the insane prison expansion and the governor’s car-tax cut.

There’s an interesting analysis of all this at Calitics, which looks at the Monterey Herald’s story on Where the Money Went. Bottom line: The state’s problem — as I keep saying — is that Californians want all kinds of services — good education, parks, roads, transportation systems and yes, sadly, prisons — but nobody wants to pay for them. It’s expensive to run the world’s eighth-largest economy, a state with more people than most countries and a wide range of social problems. And there is plenty of money floating around — even in this economy, California is a very wealthy state.

But as long as we aren’t willing to raise taxes on the wealthy and look at issues like Prop. 13, these budget problems aren’t going to go away.

Free the prisoners!

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February 10, 2009

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small prison.jpg
By Steven T. Jones

For all the outrage and political posturing around federal judges ordering California to reduce the state’s prison population, this has been foreseeable for more than a decade and it’s something that our elected leaders should embrace as both humane and a partial solution to our budget woes.

The bottom line is our prisons are shamefully overcrowded, thanks largely to legislators pushing tough-on-crime and no-new-taxes measures for decades. But politicians from Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to Attorney General Jerry Brown have vowed to fight the order all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.

“It seems like everyone’s on the same page with this as far as elected officials,” Ronn Owens said on KGO radio this morning, where Lt. Gov. (and gubernatorial candidate) John Garamendi sounded a little more reasonable than other politicians who have been tripping all over themselves to sound tough and indignant, lest someone call them soft on crime.

“We’ve known this is coming. This is not something new,” Garamendi said. “The problem is failed leadership.” He called for more creative incarceration solutions such as more conservation camps (not the best idea) and more aggressive efforts to lower recidivism rates (a better idea). But he shied away from more radical and effective solutions such as ending the war on drugs.

Brown, after taking a courageous stand in favor of judicial independence in December, should be ashamed of himself. Instead of beating his chest, he should be talking about the kinds of obvious solutions that he’s advocated in his previous iterations, such as ending the war on drugs, parole reform, and freeing most nonviolent offenders.

We can no longer afford to have some of the world’s highest incarceration rates and lowest tax rates, it’s just that simple.

Bipartisan stimulus puke

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February 10, 2009

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By Tim Redmond

The version of the stimulus bill that just passed — with some of the much-vaunted “bipartisan support” — has serious problems. And Wall Street isn’t too thrilled either.

The response of the public is more complicated, but I think Randy Shaw is right: We need a major political push right now, focused on Rep. Nancy Pelosi, to turn this thing around before it’s too late.

Lush ‘n’ loopy: Juana Molina to blow out her sound with a full band in SF

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February 10, 2009

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By Todd Lavoie

Prepare to be riveted – loop-and-layer-loving Argentine experimentalist Juana Molina will be bringing her bewilderingly intricate electronic/acoustic hybrids to the stage of the Great American Music Hall Friday, Feb. 13.

If you’ve wondered how the impossibly layered constructions of her recordings could ever translate to the live setting – here’s your chance. Having caught her solo Swedish Hall performance from a couple of years ago, I can attest to her ability to mesmerize. Armed with an acoustic guitar and a battery of electronics and effects pedals, she didn’t merely perform her songs – instead, she built them from the ground up, laying down basic components at the beginning of each song and gradually adding them together one by one.

Inflatable woman to host glorious gay circle jerk

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February 10, 2009

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By Marke B

Dickinson fetes dick

Do those “Oscars of gay porn,” the GayVN Awards, actually help premium homosexual video productions gain a wider audience? Sure there’s the “recognition of your peers” aspect for directors, actors, key grips, etc — you may be surprised, but down those stubbly, grunting faces run the tears of several clowns — but do you honestly rush out after the awards are announced and snatch up the winning discs?

Well, we don’t know about that, but the whole shiny shirted shebang — hosted this year at the Castro Theatre on March 28, with satellite events all weekend — sure is a lot of septum-searing fun. (We’ll have all the details on the wild pre and after parties here as the “big event” approaches.)

Peepshow: Nude art, naked sax

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February 10, 2009

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Each week Justin Juul highlights a rad upcoming local sexy event

What: “XOXO Third Annual All-Mediums Nude Art Show” is a mixed-media exhibition featuring local artists obsessed with boobs and butts. All paintings, sculptures, and photosets are based around the idea that clothes suck and that if you can’t even admit that on Valentine’s Day, then so do you. Sounds by DJ Gold, Ultraset, DJ Mama Bear, and Chuck the Naked Saxophone Player. Curated by Go Go Gracie Gallery.

Who: In a perfect world, Chuck Hepburn, aka Chuck the Naked Saxophone Player, would have enough time for all of his hobbies: physics, the saxophone, and nude modeling. But sometimes it’s just not possible. Or at least, that’s what the government and the police would have us believe. Bullshit!

Street Threads: Look of the Day

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February 10, 2009

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SFBG photog Ariel Soto scoops SF street fashion. See the previous Look of the Day here.

Today’s Look: Marianna, 19th St. and Castro

Tell us about your look: “My whole outfits is from a bunch of different thrift stores … the shoes, the jacket and the shirt.”

Live wires: the Gourds set for Slim’s showdown

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February 10, 2009

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By Danica Li

If you know the Gourds, you know them prolific Texan folk don’t take things lying down – especially when there’s a frenetic album-a-year quota to be maxed out around these parts. Alternative country, progressive bluegrass, or whatever you want to call it, the Austin, Texas, honky-tonk veterans have been making sweet music since the dawn of the ’90s, when multi-instrumentalists Kevin “Shinyribs” Russell and Jimmy Smith formed the group alongside drummer Charlie Llewellin and accordionist Claude Bernard. A bit of member reshuffling later, the band emerged with a new drummer and Max Johnston of Wilco fame manning the banjos, and has kept that rotation ever since.

Does Coachella or Bonnaroo have the better lineup?

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February 9, 2009

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coachella 2009 mainPoster sml.jpg

By Danica Li

It’s about time that the lineups for the two biggest of the bigwig music festivals on the continent, Coachella and Bonnaroo, leaked online, precipitated by a now traditional annual flurry of bizarre Internet rumors, faux photo-manipped posters, and jittery, cross-fingered posts on Stereogum. Naturally there’s plenty of cross-pollination between the two, and no stunners, except that Phish hasn’t played Bonnaroo ever before, where most of the bands on both lineups are religious frequenters of music festivals as well-established as South by Southwest in Austin, Texas, and as far-flung as the Roskilde Festival in Denmark and Punkkelpop in Belgium.

The big names aren’t so dimunitive, but then Coachella has a long and storied history of luring in bomb marquee reunions that it’s struggled to live up to since the legendary Pixies jammed together onstage in 2004. Paul McCartney headlines on Friday, the Killers on Saturday, and the Cure on Sunday. My Bloody Valentine’s playing on Sunday, too, while Leonard Cohen, Superchunk, Okkervil River, Morrissey, MSTRKRFT, Franz Ferdinand, Girl Talk, Crystal Castles, TV on the Radio, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Throbbing Gristle, and Lykke Li are all scheduled to play during the fest’s three days of music, California sunshine, and wacky art installations.

.meggie. on the beach, off Union Square

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February 9, 2009

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By Laura Peach

Although San Francisco kisses the Pacific Ocean, the possibility of cold, fog and rain keeps its residents from looking like they live by the sea. Flip-flops rarely graze the sidewalk, and sheer sundresses are often eschewed in favor of warmer, more substantial fabrics and garments.

Petaluma native Meggie White wants to change that. Her breezy, beautiful new Union Street boutique, .meggie. — which is having a special sale event this Friday (see below) — is breathing fresh, sea-salty air into San Francisco’s shopping options. Walking into her shop is like walking into a beach house, bathed in bright pastels and punctuated by bleach white starfish and seashells scattered about the shelves.

Better yet, this beach house is a giant closet. Seersucker shirts with embroidered hems hang off cabinet corners. A rainbow of light, oversized scarves filters the sunshine pouring in the window. Shoes and boots trot up a stepladder. Loose knit throw sweaters hang beneath wooden picture frames. Delicate gold earrings dangle from white branches.

Those glittering hoops are what inspired White to open her beach house boutique. She wanted to stop selling the jewelry she designs and makes through stores so she could bring the prices down. And she wanted to create a space where other small, independent lines could thrive. “I know how hard it is to go knocking on store’s doors and get your label in there,” says White. “I have fun building relationships with local designers, I love hearing how excited they are when what they make flies out the door and I have to order more.”

A-Rod and other types of stimulus

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February 9, 2009

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By Tim Redmond

Can you believe that in the middle of a press conference on the meltdown of the world’s largest economy some joker from the Washington Post asked President Obama about A-Rod?

Overall, a decent press conference, but the prez looked a little shaky at times. You can see the stress of trying to save us from another Great Depression with the bipartisan Republicans refusing to help.

Ammiano: Phelps goes for gold

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February 9, 2009

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Today’s Ammianoliner:

Michael Phelps goes for gold. Acapulco gold. Land in the Hudson. I can swim! (with an Ammiano chortle at the end.)

(From the home telephone answering machine of Assemblyman Tom Ammiano on Monday. Feb. 9, 2009.) B3

Thank God for Paul Krugman!

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February 9, 2009

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What do you call someone who eliminates hundreds of thousands of American jobs, deprives millions of adequate health care, and undermines schools, but offers a $l5,000 bonus to affluent people to flip their houses?

By Bruce B. Brugmann

Jim HIgjhtower, the Texas columnist, once wrote that “there is nothing in the center of the road except yellow lines and dead armadillos.”

Paul Krugman, the Princeton Nobel prize winner, put it a little more diplomatically in his Monday column in the New York Times, “The Destructive Center.”

He led off his discussion of the Obama stimulus plan with this lead:

“What do you call someone who eliminates hundreds of thousands of American jobs, deprives millions of adequate health care and nutrition, and undermines schools, but offers a $15,000 bonus to affluent people who flip their houses?

“A proud centrist. For that is what the senators who ended up calling the tune on the stimulus bill just accomplished.”

“Even if the original Obama plan–around $800 billion in stimulus, with a substantial fraction of that total given over to ineffective tax cuts–had been enacted, it wouldn’t have been enough to fill the looming hole in the U.S. economy, which the Congressional Budget Office estimates will amount to $2.9 trillion over the next three years.

“Yet the centrists did their best to make the plan weaker and worse.”

Krugman rightly criticized Obama for offering a plan that was “too small and too heavily reliant on tax cuts” because he “wanted the plan to have bipartisan support and believed that it would.” Krugman rightly criticiazed Obama for not doing something “cruciall important: speak forcefully about how government spending can help support the economy. Instead he let conservatives define the debate…” And so Obama “was reduced to bargaining for the votes of those centrists.”

Krugman asked the critical question: “So has Mr. Obama learned from this experience? Early indications aren’t good.

“For rather than acknowledge the failure of his political strategy and the damage to his economic strategy, the president tried to put a postpartisan happy face on the whole thing. ‘Democrats and Republicans came together in the Senate and responded appropriately to the urgency this moment demands,’ he decalared on Saturday and ‘the scale and scope of this plan is right.'”

Krugman’s summing up, “No, they didn’t, and no, it isn’t.”

Thank God for Paul Krugman. B3

Click here to read Op-ed columnist Paul Krugman’s Monday, February 9th article in the New York Times, The Destructive Center.

Click here to read a CNN report on “What got cut from the stimulus bill.”

Tomorrow’s Supes meeting: next round on special election

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February 9, 2009

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By Rebecca Bowe

As expected, Mayor Gavin Newsom has vetoed an ordinance approved on Jan. 27 by the San Francisco Board of Supervisors modifying regular election procedures in order to pave the way for a special election to be held on June 2. The election would give voters an opportunity to decide on a number of tax measures that could raise city revenues in the face of a looming $576 million city budget deficit for the 2009-10 fiscal year.

“I understand the argument that revenue measures passed in June will bring in funding sooner than measures passed in November,” the mayor wrote in a letter explaining his decision. “However, if new tax and revenue measures put on the ballot in June do not pass due to a lack of unified support and planning, not only will the City incur the significant expense of a $3.5 million election, it will also critically damage our chances for success in November.”

Distractions: 010000100110100101101110011000010111001001111001001000000111001001110101011011000110010101110011

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February 9, 2009

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By Molly Freedenberg

Photo (and shirt) by www.thinkgeek.com.

Thanks to my geeky roommate, I’ve discovered my favorite new time-waster: the Binary-to-Text translator.

And yes, it’s just what it sounds like it is. Using the same format as classic online translators, which convert a block of text in one language into a block of text in another, Binary-to-Text converts words or phrases (in any language, it seems) into a series of 1s and 0s – and everyday people into super-nerds.

Ask a Porn Star: Privacy issues, small penises

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February 9, 2009

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In which super sexy porn people answer questions — each week — from Bay Area locals. View the last installment here.
Mediated by Justin Juul

Fielding your questions this month is local celebrity, Lorelei Lee. Lee specializes in fetish porn (water torture, whips-n-chains, electrocution, etc.) and has a blossoming side-career as a writer. Check out some of her movies/pics here and then stop into The Makeout Room on Valentines Day (02/14/09) to hear her read at Writers With Drinks.

Michelle M: Are you ever concerned about your privacy?

Lorelei Lee: I’m not exactly sure what aspect of my privacy this question is meant to refer to. I’m not that famous. I mean, no one (to my knowledge) is searching through my garbage or anything, although I do occasionally get recognized in the grocery store or at a bar or walking down the street.

Sometimes people will come up to me and say hello or stutter something endearingly unintelligible. Often, people will say, “you look so familiar,” but they won’t be able to remember why they recognize me. They’ll ask me if I’m “on television” and I’ll say, “Sort of.” Recently I was leaving a BART station and a boy riding by on his skateboard actually fell down on the sidewalk and shouted, “Holy shit!” I was startled and looked at him, and he said, “Uh… you’ve been in movies, haven’t you?” I couldn’t help but laugh. I shook his hand and said, “nice to meet you,” and he kind of stumbled off in the other direction.