SFBG Blogs Archives — Page 322 of 597 — San Francisco Bay Guardian Archive 1966

Hot sex events this week: Jan 20-26

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January 20, 2010

Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

Join Mr. May from the Bare Chest 2009 calendar for Lick It at Powerhouse.

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>> Sex Workers’ Writing Workshop
Join current and former sex workers for a workshop geared towards both beginner and seasoned writers.

Wed/20, 6pm
$10-$20
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
sexandculture.org

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>> Moulin Rouge: Sacred Courtesans and X-traordinary Gentlemen
La Diva Francesca Gentille De Mirae hosts a special night of beauty, flirtatiousness, exquisite food, incandescent music, and ecstatic dancing.

Wed/20, 6pm
$34.95 includes 3-course dinner, entertainment, fashion show, and dancing
Supperclub
657 Harrison, SF
(415) 348-0900
www.supperclub.com

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>> Barbary Coast Burlesque: Intoxicating Beauties of the Bay
Virginia Suicide hosts a special performance featuring Bunny Pistol, Honey Lawless, Kiss Me Kate, Mynx D’Meanor, Josie Starre, and sASSy Hotbuns in a bordello-esque atmosphere.

Wed/20, 8pm
$6
Hotel Utah
500 4th St, SF
www.thehotelutahsaloon.com

Meet Gavin Newsom: whine clerk

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January 20, 2010

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Text by Sarah Phelan

Sorry, Maureen, but you omitted more than a few details of the real trials of Mayor Gavin Newsom…

I’m usually a fan of Maureen Dowd’s finely pointed writing, but her interview with Mayor Gavin Newsom in today’s New York Times left me with the sinking feeling that she was writing with an uncharacteristically unsharpened pencil.

Yes, it was funny when Dowd wrote, “It’s easy to picture the lithe and charming Newsom–with the well-cut suits, the electric Telsa, the beautiful blonde wife and baby–advising a Pacific Heights couple on a cabernet with aromas of eucalyptus and mint.”

But beyond that delightful dig, Dowd kept her pencil on an unusually tight leash.

Maybe that’s because Dowd doesn’t know the ins and outs of San Francisco politics and was fooled into misrepresenting Newsom’s whining as the rueful ruminations of a man so very far ahead of his time.

But it’s hard to believe that the indomitable Dowd doesn’t know that Newsom’s political career has been short circuited for a million reasons above and beyond gay marriage.

Maybe the fact that Newsom slept with his campaign manager’s wife isn’t perceived as a deal breaker in circles where everyone always seems to be betraying every one else.

But how about Newsom’s failure to show backbone when then Sup. (and now State Assemblymember) Tom Ammiano was trying to launch San Francisco’s trailblazing health care program–yes, the same one that President Obama has recently and widely praised, and for which Newsom has been happy to take all the credit?

Instead of showing leadership on Healthy San Francisco, Newsom stood back and let Ammiano do the heavy lifting, in face of the threat of legal opposition from the Golden Gate Restaurant Association. Newsom’s cowardice on that issue seems entirely understandable, given that, as Dowd points out, “Before he got into politics, after all, he started a boutique wine shop in Napa Valley that blossomed into a multimillion-dollar business.” (Heaven forbid that the former owner of a wine boutique would be seen leading the charge to ensure that the restaurant industry helps employees go see a doctor instead of sneezing into the endive soup and eucalyptus-scented cabernet that the Pacific Heights mafia has come to enjoy.)

But Dowd doesn’t make that, or any other, connection.

Instead, she lets Newsom stick his not-so-subtle knives into Obama’s back on same-sex marriage, without pointing out that after Newsom rushed into gay marriage, he failed to launch a much needed statewide campaign to reach out, across the aisle of intolerance, and help defeat the Prop. 8 party poopers.

The final insult in Dowd’s puff piece is when she lets the current mayor of San Francisco get away unchallenged with his bogus claim that, “we’ve always fought for the rights of minorities and against the whims of majorities.” Try telling that to the immigrants whose families have been ripped apart because gubernatorial candidate Newsom failed to support giving undocumented kids their day in court, before reporting them to the feds for deportation.

But Dowd does at least gives us a preview of what to expect when we stumble unwittingly into a wine store, somewhere in the backwaters of Napa, and overhear the clerk complaining that no one really understood him, back when he was mayor of San Francisco. Meet Gavin Newsom: whine clerk.

Solomon: Democrats boosting rightwing populism

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January 20, 2010

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The Democratic leadership on health care and bank bailouts has been so corporate that it has demobilized and demoralized the Democrat ic base and the Republicans have found it easy to play populist

By Norman Solomon

(Norman Solomon is national co-chair of the Healthcare NOT Warfare campaign, launched by Progressive Democrats of America. His books include “Made Love, Got War: Close Encounters with America’s Warfare State.”)

In his triumphant speech on election night, the next senator from Massachusetts should have thanked top Democrats in Washington for all they did to make his victory possible.

For a year now, leading Democrats have steadily embraced more corporate formulas for “healthcare reform.” In the name of political realism, they have demobilized and demoralized the Democratic base. In the process, they’ve fueled right-wing populism.

On street artists that are too cool for us: Blu’s “Combo”

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January 20, 2010

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By Caitlin Donohue

Man oh man, Pixel Vision fans, do I wish I could embed “Combo,” the time lapse graffiti video from Italian mural artist Blu.

(*right here)

But I asked him, and he’s not really into his deal being featured on “commercial websites,” which I guess we still qualify as, shoots! Apparently, he’s more into things like throwing up ridiculous art pieces– all over the world, and that peeps can see for free, whenever, out in their neighborhood- than self-promoting. So I’m gonna go ahead and respect that and hope that the photo below is enough to convince you to click on the link in the caption to see his video work, which will make your day if not week if you’re into things like the walls of Buenos Aires being turned into a big, moving, street art orgasm.

Badass, right? Now imagine it moving around and climbing up the walls of the courtyard. Better yet, just click here for “Combo”

Come to SF, Blu Blu? Tanks. We like you.

alt.sex.column: The new Pluto

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January 19, 2010

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By Andrea Nemerson. Email your questions to andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com. Read more of Andrea’s columns here.

Dear Readers:

Last week, after being besieged by poorly-reported announcements of the G-spot’s sudden demotion from anatomical feature to "whatever," I had "The G-spot is not the new Pluto!" as my status update for a while, prompting my friend Wednesday to come back right smart with, "It ain’t Uranus either." Pass it on.

And yes, we did cover this last time, but given the space constraints I ended up giving what is in there and what you can do with it shorter shrift than deserved. So I expected questions, which you were all apparently either too lazy or too stunned with grief over the loss of your G-spots to ask, so I’m going to do it for you.

Q: So what did you mean, "We don’t know what we’re referring to?" Is it or is it not an area of sensitivity on the upper wall of the vagina, probably responsible for the shy and easily frightened cryptozoological entity called the vaginal orgasm?

A: Yes and no! Each of those terms I reeled off — G-spot, paraurethral sponge, orgasmic platform, et cetera — comes with some researcher or writer or activist’s personal and political baggage. Ernst Grafenberg*, the original "G" in G-spot, never named it himself. He was a urethra man; his big paper on the subject was called "The Role Of Urethra in Female Orgasm." He was looking at the area where the urethra runs closest to the vaginal wall, and the erectile tissues surrounding it, as the possible locus of vaginal responsiveness and even female ejaculation.

The Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers, in the early 1990s classic A New View of Woman’s Body, coined or popularized "paraurethral sponge" for the same area. And while the use of "sponge" in this context does conjure up distracting images of Seinfeld‘s Elaine and her "sponge-worthy" dates, it’s probably less confusing than G-spot. A "spot," after all, could be anywhere. "G-spot" itself was coined by Beverly Whipple et al. in 1982, and immediately entered popular parlance and was just as immediately misunderstood (as well as dismissed by gynecologists and other experts). If only they’d gone for something like "area" instead of "spot," a lot of this confusion could have been avoided.

Some Muni layoffs postponed for a month

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January 19, 2010

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By Rebecca Bowe

Two dozen Muni parking control officers (PCOs) can hold onto their jobs for another month, the Municipal Transportation Agency Board decided Tuesday. The PCOs are those ever-popular uniformed workers who go around issuing parking citations (maybe you’ve seen the bumper-sticker slogan — “Good people, Tough jobs” — just after getting slammed with an outrageous parking ticket). A round of 24 PCO layoffs was previously scheduled to go into effect at the end of this week, as part of midyear cuts made to balance the city budget. But the MTA Board agreed to push the layoff date back to Feb. 26, according to Steve Stallone, a spokesperson for Service Employees International Union Local 1021, which represents the workers. MTA spokesperson Judson True confirmed that the layoffs were postponed.

The PCO layoffs represented a hot topic at last Tuesday’s Board of Supervisors meeting, when a long line of city employees formed during public comment to raise objections. Abraham Davis, a PCO, told supervisors that each officer issues an average of 30 citations a day, which he said brings in roughly $2,000 for the city. Accounting for all 24 workers, “that’s $960,000 a month,” he said, “and that’s a low average.” He described one of his own bad days: “That’s the day I got spit on, almost run over, and came back to the hall with 60 citations,” he said. “Do the math.”

Stallone says today’s MTA Board decision was made because SEIU Local 1021 presented new figures outlining why cutting city workers who generate revenue for the city is a bad business decision. “We crunched the numbers differently,” he told the Guardian. “[MTA] staff just plain had it wrong.” We haven’t heard back yet on how SEIU’s numbers differ from MTA’s numbers — but it’s clear that the MTA Board is willing to look at what the union brought to the table.

At Sup. Chris Daly’s request, a hearing will be held at Wednesday’s Budget & Finance Committee meeting to discuss Muni layoffs and “the impacts on public health and safety concerns,” according to the meeting agenda. Some of those concerns revolve around the fact that PCOs direct traffic in emergency situations or special events when they aren’t issuing parking tickets, Stallone explained. And since another group of affected Muni workers includes the people who clean the buses, maybe the case will be made that riding around in grimy buses won’t exactly help San Franciscans combat swine flu and other contagious maladies. That’s just a guess. “It’s a good guess,” Stallone said. But he took a broader view, saying, “You’re going to lose ridership if the buses suck.”

Mirkarimi’s mandatory foot patrols ballot measure

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January 19, 2010

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Text by Sarah Phelan

Sup. Ross Mirkarimi, along with Sups. Eric Mar, David Chiu, John Avalos and David Campos, submitted a ballot initiative today that asks voters to require the San Francisco Police Department to implement community-based foot/ beat and MUNI patrols.

The legislation would require the Captain of each district police station, in consultation with neighbors, merchants and community stakeholders, to establish and assign officers to foot/beat patrols within their station’s
jurisdiction.

The measure would also require station commanders to coordinate with adjacent stations for the efficient policing of distressed MUNI lines.

“Foot/beat patrols work very well in deterring crime and building trust with the community – it’s proven throughout the United States,” Mirkarimi said in a press release. “Walking or bicycling police beats or riding Muni should not be a luxury for the one of the best funded per capita police departments in the nation.”

The measure, Mirkarimi said, would provide substantial discretion to the SFPD command staff and the City’s district stations to define and modify beats in response to crime statistics, community input and evolving realities on the street.

Mirkarimi also submittied a hearing request on the implementation of an “Anti-Sit/Lie” law.

“There has been a great deal of misinformation on how this law works – completely absent from the public
discussion is both the District Attorney and City Attorney to substantiate any of the presumed effects,” Mirkarimi stated. “There are questions that remain unanswered as to why current anti-loitering and
nuisance laws aren’t being enforced.”

State of the immigration crisis rally

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January 19, 2010

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Text by Sarah Phelan

As President Barack Obama prepares to make his annual State of the Union address, local immigrant advocates are calling on Obama to mention the need for national immigration reform in his address and to uphold campaign promises to pass comprehensive immigration reform.

Describing themselves in a press release as “a diverse group of African, Asian, European, and Latino immigrants” the organizers of today’s protest rally, (from 4-6 p.m at the Federal Building at 7th and Mission Street, thunder and lightning notwithstanding) promised to urge Obama, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Sen. Feinstein and Boxer to make immigration reform a priority because of local crises in the immigrant communities.

“The time for reform is now,” Eric Quezada, Executive Director of Dolores Street Community Services, said in a press release. ” The President promised immigration reform on the campaign trail and we are here today to make sure that he keeps his word,”

Quezada noted that Obama pledged on his 2008 campaign campaign trail to pass humane changes to US immigration laws if he were elected President, including a legalization program for undocumented immigrants.
“Immigrants are part of the fabric of our communities, and we need to fix our immigration system so everyone who lives here can contribute as full members of society,” said Biniam Fantay with the African Advocacy Network.

Today’s demonstration is part of “100 days of action” campaign for immigration reform that began in December and is led locally by the SF Immigrant Legal and Education Network and the San Francisco Organizing Project.

Editorial: Stop the Transamerica condo high-rise!

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January 19, 2010

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What’s the endgame here? What does the city get for bestowing a developer with a huge basket of favors?
If Newsom and his planning commissioners alllow 555 Washington to proceed, it will signal that city planning is entirely in the hands of private developers

Editorial: The San Francisco Planning Commission and Recreation and Park Commission will hold a special joint meeting Jan. 21 to decide whether to allow the owner of the Transamerica Building to construct a 400-foot condo tower next door that would violate so many elements of the city’s Planning Code and rational planning policy that it’s almost impossible to list them all.

The building, which would contain 248 luxury housing units — something the city doesn’t need — would cast shadows on two city parks, make downtown traffic and air quality much worse (thanks to a four-level underground parking garage), and require special spot zoning to double the allowable height from 200 feet to 400 feet.

Development stimulus would delay affordable housing construction

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January 19, 2010

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By Steven T. Jones

Would the partially completed One Rincon and other stalled luxury condo tower projects move forward if the city reduced their front-end fees, and is the cost worth benefit?

In order to encourage the development of more market-rate housing projects in San Francisco, Mayor Gavin Newsom and his administration are trying to let developers pass a third of their affordable housing fees onto the buyers of their homes, who would eventually pay them though a 1 percent transfer tax – a change that the Controller’s Office says would delay collection of those fees an average of 16 years.

That’s the most controversial component in the package of pro-development proposals that’s headed to the Planning Commission on Thursday. Consolidating the collection of various developer fees within the Department of Building Inspection makes sense to many observers, and there’s some left-of-center support for another proposal to let developers delay fee collection until after the building is nearly complete, as long as they pay the city an additional surcharge.

But affordable housing advocates are howling about letting the developers of projects that don’t pencil out and can’t get bank loans avoid their obligations to help the city meet its urgent affordable housing needs, in the process exacerbating the growing imbalance between homes for millionaires and those for the working class. They say it’s the latest example of Newsom’s perverse belief in discredited trickle-down economic theories.

“This is the world as viewed by (Newsom economic advisor) Michael Cohen, that the way out of a real estate speculation bubble is to blow as hard as you can to re-inflate that bubble,” affordable housing activist Calvin Welch told us, noting that many of targeted property were bought at the height of that bubble and are aimed at buyers that are now in short supply because of the recession. “They have to fail and reset, then there will be development.”

Robert B. Parker: The king is dead

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January 19, 2010

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By Tim Redmond

Damn, I haven’t been this bummed since the death of John D. MacDonald.. SFGate reports today that Robert B. Parker collapsed at his desk; the king of trash-lit detective novels is dead at 77.

The obits will talk about Parker in the same breath as Raymond Chandler and Dashiell Hammett, and that’s true, as far as it goes. But in terms of period writing and a continuing-series character who was attractive as much for his faults at for his good deeds, Parker and MacDonald had a lot more in common. Like Travis McGee, MacDonald’s knight in slightly tarnished armor, Parker’s Spenser was a tough guy with a sense of humor about himself, someone who cared (almost despite his best instincts) about humanity and wasn’t bitter, angry, lonely or needlessly violent.

McGee was a creature of Florida in the Sixties, a tanned and restless womanizer who lived on a houseboat and practically existed for casual sex. His attitude toward women was often described as patronizing, and in the early works, the girls are mostly there for McGee’s amusement, but that changes toward the end; McGee falls deeply in love in the Green Ripper, has a daughter who changes his life — and turns out to be not such a sexist pig after all. The McGee books are also packed with environmental wisdom and a sharp description of the ugly side of development-crazy Florida.

And it may not seem such a big deal now, but when MacDonald started writing in the 1950s, the idea the a main character in a tough-guy American novel would have a best friend who was Jewish was something unusual.

And then there’s Spenser. He came along in the 1980s, but from the start was a creature of the modern world, a Boston private detective who — as much as anyone in that genre could ever be — was a liberal. His best buddy was a black guy who drank fine champagne (and, of course, totally kicked ass). His life partner was a Harvard-trained psychologist, and he never fooled around on her; in fact, in many of the books, he rejects the advances of other women, noting that he is, and for all his life will be, “the main squeeze of Susan Silverman.” He has gay characters who are as tough as he is and get the same respect as anyone who can swing a mean fist and shoot a gun.

And nobody wrote like John D. MacDonald — except possibly Robert B. Parker.

So Spenser is gone. Boston, and American literature, will never be the same.

Pics: Sunning it out in the Yucatán

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January 19, 2010

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SFBG photog Ariel Soto — of Street Threads fame — documented her recent trip to Mexico, to help chase away our rainy week blues

Cozumel

Tulum

With winter upon us, my fiance and I found ourselves yearning for sunshine and so we packed a few small bags and headed south to Mexico. The Yucatán had been calling to us for years, ever since my parents told us of their trip back in the mid 1970s, where they walked through forgotten Mayan ruins at Uxmal and Chichen Itza and experienced the frenzy of the bustling vegetable markets in Merida. We also found all these monuments, cities and markets busy and alive. Everything was saturated in all the colors of the rainbow and dripping with history. And of course there was the aqua-colored ocean, so clear you could look straight down to the sandy floor.

Chichen Itza

Tacos con Pibil, Piste

Merida

Uxmal

Everyday we munched on fresh tortillas, slathered in guacamole or pibil, a slow cooked pork dish, spiced with achiote and topped with tangy pickled red onions. The ruins made our imaginations run wild, with unsettling stories of human sacrifice and wide-eye awe in the massiveness of these ancient structures. The Yucatán would take months, if not years, to thoroughly explore, but in our two weeks there we at least got a sense of their unique cuisine, cultural norms and incredible past. Mexico is such a vast and diverse country and each part has so much to offer that it’s impossible to say which is the best. Now, where should we go next? Viva Mexico!

Uxmal

Tulum

Merida

Tera Patrick — “Sinner”?

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January 19, 2010

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By D. Scot Miller

On Wednesday the 13th, at the Border’s on Union Square, more than 100 people showed up for Tera Patrick signing her new bio Sinner Takes All (Gotham Books, 2010). The mostly male constituency were a curious bunch; paunchy, grizzled, and 40-plus, they came loaded down with over-sized posters and pristine, collectible magazines. As they waited in line for Ms. Patrick’s signature, I wondered if any of them had read the book, because if they had…

By D. Scot Miller

On Wednesday the 13th, at the Border’s on Union Square, more than 100 people showed up for Tera Patrick signing her new bio Sinner Takes All (Gotham Books, 2010). The mostly male constituency were a curious bunch; paunchy, grizzled, and 40-plus, they came loaded down with over-sized posters and pristine, collectible magazines. As they waited in line for Ms. Patrick’s signature, I wondered if any of them had read the book, because if they had…

Sinner Takes All, ghostwritten with Carrie Borzillo, works well as a biography. And as with all well-written bios, we learn more about the subject than the subject may have intended. For example, we learn that Tera Patrick is not a big fan of Tera Patrick, “I’ve never watched any of my movies,” she says in the Q&A section, “never.” This is part of her appeal for me. There’s an honesty in this book that is at once tragic, funny, scary, and savvy. I have no doubts that this is one of her less-visual assets that has made her one of the top producers, owners, and entrepreneurs in mainstream porn today.

The book opens with Tera in a psych ward a la Lady Sings The Blues. After a period of hard-boozing and raging black-outs (who AIN’T been there?), the porn star is given time to reflect.

From her gawky, awkward upbringing — the daughter of a free-love hippie father and no-nonsense, abusive mother, which leads to her out-of-control adolescence (“…at the young age of twelve, I was flirting with older men, kissing boys, and using my sexuality to get what I wanted”) — to becoming a teen model in Japan, Patrick gives graphic detail without being trashy, and at times, the sadness is almost too much to bear. Losing her virginity to a 35-year-old photographer she remembers, “After that, we continued the photo-shoot like nothing had happened. This is where ‘The Switch’ kicked in. This is where I changed forever and put me on the path to porn. He was done. I was done. OK, we can move on and finish the shoot now.”

Fortunately for us, Patrick does not stay in the sexual doldrums and her matter-of-fact approach to sex is refreshing, if not a little too clinical at times. If you want a little charge when someone is describing a threesome, keep looking. Patrick is known as “The Vanilla Girl of Porn”, The serial-killer enthusiast Tera Patrick IS a rather vanilla romantic who has a thing for “bad boys” with motorcylces and tattoos. Unfortunately, this where the book falters.

Beginning with the courtship of her future husband (Biohazard’s Evan Seinfeld), the story takes on the aura of adolescent sex fantasy in the “Twilight” tradition. Through her struggles with alcohol and depression, Seinfeld remains by her side, making movies with her, as she builds her empire. It seems like true love, success, and eternal happiness for these two beautiful losers; and we don’t care. I do see a reality show on the horizon though.

The best parts of the book are (where else?) from the back. Here, Tera answers 12 burning questions from her fans, lists her best movies (which she’s never seen), and gives the “ins and outs” of being a porn icon. Oh, and the glossy, full-color pics that make up a third of the book, including a fold-out poster cover, are nice too.

Its funny; with the mainstreaming of porn, and the emergence of live-feed — an advance spear-headed by Patrick — on the rise, it’s amazing that the “porn star” is becoming a thing of the past. To think that I’m reading a snippet from the life of a future Gloria Swanson gives Sinner Take All an unintended literariness that just feels…swell.

Bar Cruz: Getting tipsy in SC’s off-beach attractions

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January 18, 2010

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Text and photos by Caitlin Donohue

I think the air hockey and volcano view pretty much ruins it for all beers post-Captain’s Game Deck

Not too much going down at the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk these days- the rides are all shut down on weekdays during the winter, (although there is an exciting amount of construction taking place on the south end by the roller coaster). But you can have a good time in the Cruz even off the dunes and the midway and that good time is called drinking. The following are some of the best nightspots in the SC- just try not to rile the locals, brah.

Captain’s Game Deck
Okay, so maybe you can still have a good time on the midway. Tucked away above the mechanical gypsies and race car driving games of Neptune’s Kingdom, the boardwalk’s arcade, is a little place where us boring old folks can have a good time too. Captain’s Game Deck serves big plastic mugs of light beer and microbrews (starting at $5.45 for an Anchor Steam or Red Hook)- plus there’s air hockey for a buck a game! Get down on the puck action or hit up one of the Game Deck’s eight pool tables while you check out the fanny packs on soggy out-of-towners.
400 Beach, Santa Cruz
(831) 423-5590
www.beachboardwalk.com

Red Room
Originally a brothel, the Red Room’s vibe is warm, slightly scandalous and red as hell. We’re talking velvet couches, which totally belies the scruffy nature of it’s student clientele. Swing by early and enjoy a vast happy hour menu with $4 artichoke hearts or Guinness battered onion rings upstairs or down in the two bar areas.
1003 Cedar, Santa Cruz
(831) 426-2994
www.redsantacruz.com

Sarah Palin, “meat” Moby

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January 18, 2010

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moby sm 011810.jpg

Gotta love mega-vegetarian Moby’s take on a choice niblet from Sarah Palin’s recent memoir (does the presidential hopeful always swipe lame T-shirt slogans for her writings – frightening!). Here it is from his blog:

“ok, so sarah palin is releasing a book. and it’s filled with some insightful, thoughtful gems, like: ‘here’s my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?’ -sarah palin.

sarah-palin sm 011810.jpg

“well, mrs. palin, let’s look a bit more closely at what you’ve written. you believe that god intended for us to eat animals because they’re made out of meat. ahem. i mean, i’m not a professional logician, but i can see that the extension of your logic might lead you to some places with which you might be uncomfortable. bear with me, ok?

“your logic sort of stands as:

“1 meat is good (due to the fact that you like it)

“2 animals are made out of meat (which is obvious, as meat is the stuff that surrounds their bones)

“3 thus eating animals is good (and divinely sanctioned).

“the problem, of course, being that other things are also made out of meat. like, well, people. and doggies and kitties. and cute little human babies. so if we follow your logic, mrs palin, you are actually suggesting that god intended for us to eat humans and dogs and cats and human babies, as these things are all technically made out of meat. i’m not even being swiftian, i’m just exposing sarah palin’s thoughts to some simple logic. which might be problematic, as she is also the person who once talked about looking out her window and seeing vladimir putin staring back (although he’s technically 8,000 miles away, unless he’s recently moved to kamchatka). or perhaps they do things differently in the palin household, who knows. perhaps she really does think that we’re intended to eat humans and kittens and babies, as god did make them (aka-us, in some cases) out of meat. i meah, let’s be clear, she’s a crazy sociopath, so anything is possible.

“-moby”

Do not beware of Showdogs

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January 17, 2010

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Text and photos by Caitlin Donohue

These dogs don’t bite

We love the upscale hot dog joint. Artisan fixings, hefty sausages, microbrews- the dog has been having its day at neighborhood favorites like Underdog and Rosamunde, and now wieners are getting their due in the Tenderloin as well.

At Showdogs, even the vegetarians will leave happy. The Field Roast Vegetarian dog is a beaut; a hearty, almost beefy “sausage” topped with a mountain of crisp, colorful coleslaw and house-made mustard. “We don’t use any refined sugar here, so we sweeten the coleslaw with agave,” says manager Seth Carter. The result is a slaw that sits light on the tongue, but still pays homage to its Southern roots.

Windows perfect for the people parade outside

Wedged into a stretch of town known more for colorful street life and discount beauty supply stores than its cuisine, Showdogs seems an unlikely place to find fancy sausages. But their menu-11 dogs made of ingredients from organic duck to wild boar each with a suggested pairing from their enviable selection of beers on tap- has made the spot a favorite mid-Market hangout. The dining room is bright, with massive windows perfect for watching the street milieu or just mooching off the free Wifi. Even our lovely Mayor has made the trek over from City Hall to announce his ongoing efforts to “clean up” this part of the ‘Loin, perhaps signaling the pivotal role the little dog shop could play in the neighborhood’s future.

How to get it cheaper… and pretty ancilliary art work after the jump.

Fly zone: SF’s Petracovich lifts off

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January 16, 2010

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PETRACOVICH
Crepusculo
(Red Buttons)

By Kimberly Chun

At moments sounding like the next girl wonder to score an iTunes hit by way of One Tree Hill, at others resembling a girlish Ray Davies wandering west of the Village Green, Jessica Peters Malmberg of the Bay-based Petracovich is something of a local treasure –underappreciated, unpeggable, undeniably talented. Here, the vocalist and multi-instrumentalist toys with a more acoustic yet full-bodied sound than that found on her last, more electronics-riddled full-length, We Are Wyoming (Red Buttons, 2005). She’s surrounded by a nimbus of glistening piano notes and banjo plucks on “Mocking Bird” and bathed in stately brass, spunky vibes, and earthy cello on “I’ll Return as Waterbird.” Yes, fowl dart through Crepusculo as if they were racing to escape a Neko Case petting zoo. Rest assured, Malmberg keeps matters from growing too precious: there’s even hints of grit and bassy backbone to tunes like the orchestral indie-folk “Sleep It Off/Lie Down.”

Newsom’s faith-based economic plan

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January 15, 2010

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By Steven T. Jones

The theory that cutting taxes on corporations and the rich creates wealth that eventually trickles down to help everyone — a policy that drastically widened the income gap — is back, and in San Francisco of all places.

Is it “ideological” to question whether the business tax cuts that Mayor Gavin Newsom is proposing will exacerbate the city’s huge budget deficit, potentially doing far more harm than good? Press Secretary Tony Winnicker, who finally returned my call about the proposal, told me that it is.

But Winnicker denied that conservative economic ideology is behind Newsom’s belief in the healing power of business tax cuts, calling it simply “practical” and telling me, “The mayor doesn’t share your hostility toward the private sector.”

That may be true, but I don’t share his hostility toward the public sector, which would lose even more of the “jobs” that Newsom claims to value so highly in order to pay for his experiment in trickle-down economics. Winnicker grudgingly acknowledged that short-term fiscal reality – and the fact that they didn’t study how much revenue will be lost before proposing the plan, or in the year since it was first pitched — but argued that it will somehow help the city over the long run.

“We believe that enacting these tax incentives, particularly the payroll tax credit for new hires, is one of the single biggest things we can do for economic growth,” Winnicker said.

But he couldn’t cite any evidence supporting that belief, which is a matter of faith for economic conservatives. Yet even the city’s fairly conservative economist, Ted Egan, says that reducing government spending in order to cut business taxes just isn’t smart.

Whataya want from Adam Lambert?

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January 15, 2010

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By Louis Peitzman

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Adam Lambert’s “Whataya Want From Me” wasn’t written as a song about celebrity. I mean, that’s not the impression I got the first 80 or so times I belted it in my car. To me, it’s about a failing relationship, the sense that no matter what you do you can’t please your partner. It speaks to that frustration but also a desire to change. Or maybe I’m way off base, because the music video released today tells a different story altogether.

In it, Lambert vents his angst to — well, no one in particular. We see footage of him getting into a limo and losing that crowd-pleasing smile. We see him yelling at cameras that may or may not be there. And suddenly those lyrics mean something else entirely. Whether or not “Whataya Want From Me” began as a love song, it’s now Lambert’s response to feeling overexposed and put-upon by rabid fans and an oppressive celebrity culture.

Way more subdued than his first video, “For Your Entertainment,” “Whataya Want From Me” has a somber quality that works well with the message: Glamberts, chill the eff out. There’s nothing particularly shocking about it, and I think that makes sense — Lambert isn’t going to shove his tongue down a bassist’s throat at every turn. Even if that is, well, what we want from him. There’s a far mellower side to him: what better way to reflect that than with some heavily muted tones?

It’s a good song and a solid video. Not satisfied? Back off a little and maybe Lambert will offer something a bit more Lady Gaga-esque next. I know I’m ready for “Fever” to get the “Bad Romance” treatment.

Getting tasted: SFBG hits the food TV awards show

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January 15, 2010

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Text and photos by Paula Connely and Caitlin Donohue

Lady knows how to take a picture: Tasty Award presenter Debi Mazar shops “the wierd stuff” at the show’s New People after-party

The first annual awards show for food, travel and fashion TV, the Tasty Awards, took over Sundance Cinemas last night with a good old B-List celeb, red carpet . It was an interesting look at where we get our information on cuisine and leisure these days, and a nice chance to watch semi-famous people get hella nervous when the video on the big screen behind them fails to cue.

The program was hosted by drinking and travel television star Zane Lamprey of “Three Sheets,” who opened the night with the remark, “ Without fashion and food, the world would be naked and hungry.” “Three Sheets” won a well deserved award for “Best Drink or Beverage Program on TV.” Unfortunately, Lamprey mentioned that the future of the show’s fifth season is “about as unstable as Steve McKenna with a shot in his hand,” so if you haven’t been watching, check it out so we can continue to enjoy his hilarious and educational worldwide drinking adventures.

“Best Comedy Series” winner Jolene Sugarbaker takes a break from casseroles and dropping in on the neighbors to celebrate her Tasty

The Tasty nominees were a clear indication of where we’ve moved in the last few years when it comes to information on cuisine, fashion and other leisure activities. The night paid surprisingly little attention to big network shows and stars (although Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” and “Cake Boss” chalked up five awards between the two of them), lauding instead local shows (“Check, Please Bay Area”) and relatively little known personalities from Internet video. “Best Comedy Series” winner and trailer park trendsetter Jolene Sugarbaker and “Best Home Chef” in a Series” Average Betty were two representatives of this new breed of food and travel stars. Also honored was YouTube and Flip as “Best Technological Innovations” for their roles in making Internet video the super hot bizness that it is these days.

Sexcipe: Pork chops and slut training

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January 15, 2010

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Pork Chops with sautéed Honey Crisps, and Sweet Potato Sluts!

By Mistress Eve Minax, a professional dominatrix, sex educator, and food lover based in SF. As told to Juliette Tang.

This recipe occurred one evening when I entertained a lovely slut in training. Who knew that being fed and fucked simultaneously while blindfolded could be so much fun? Well, I do.

So easy and hot!

Pork Chops with sautéed Honey Crisps, and Sweet Potato Sluts!

By Mistress Eve Minax, a professional dominatrix, sex educator, and food lover based in SF. As told to Juliette Tang.

This recipe occurred one evening when I entertained a lovely slut in training. Who knew that being fed and fucked simultaneously while blindfolded could be so much fun? Well, I do.

So easy and hot!

Ingredients:

2 thick cut boneless pork chops

2 medium sized apples, (I prefer honey crisp)

2 medium sized, unpeeled, fresh, organic sweet potatoes

salt/pepper – I like hickory smoked salt and 4 peppercorn mix for mine.

a bit of olive oil

Method:

First, put sweet potatoes in the oven at 325 f.

Then, rub in a little olive oil then salt and pepper the chop to perfection.

Make sure you are dressed in something slutty but a little bossy yourself. Being the bossier slut always grants you more street cred than wearing sneakers or a stretch pants. I like to wear something short with high heels and of course a harness, ready to strap on my cock at any time. If you already have one attached, consider easy access and sexy undies. Put on some sexy music. For slut training, I have a burlesque mix that moves into trip hoppy grooves because I like to have my slut strip for me to get me turned on before I fuck them.

Sit in a prominent place and order your slut to dress/undress and dance! Enjoy the show. If it’s really good, you may wish the slut to worship your body while self touching. Things should be heated up. Now’s the time I put the slut in the sling, (some people call these adult swings). A bed or a couch will do, but a sling is best! I like to blindfold my slut now, and restrain the hands so that they can almost touch themselves but not quite.

Return to kitchen, slice the apples in crescent shapes, and put them and the pork chops in a cast iron skillet on very low heat with a bit of olive oil.

Back to slut, slowly begin fondling the nipples and caressing the sex. Slut should be writhing a bit now. Be sure to tell the slut that you’d really like to see them take everything your going to give. Put a ball gag in the mouth and warn of “other things” to come. Be sure to fondle and pinch all the right spots, perhaps even penetrating a bit to loosen the slut up for more.

Return to kitchen, turn chops. Remove potatoes from the oven to cool.

Back to slut. Now is the time to place nipple clamps on and insert a butt plug and/or vibrator if you are so inclined.
Return to kitchen. Remove chops onto a cutting board and slice into one to two inch slivers. Cut the an end off each one of the potatoes. Plate the pieces and apples with the potatoes. Back to slut with plate. Begin telling your slut what a little greedy pig they are, ask them if they want more, (they will!). Remove the gag, take a piece of chop and apple, move between sluts legs grinding into the groin and feed slut, taking care to tell them how “dirty” they are and how they need to be fed, to be “filled up”. Grind some more. Grab the potato and squeeze a bit of fresh warm, softness into slut’s gaping mouth. Grind some more. Alternate respectively until you feel it’s time for penetration. I like to keep stuffing the slut until cataclysmic orgasm and fullness, but hey, you’re the chef and the boss, I’ll let you decide how to proceed from here!

Spotted: Cult of the Hermaphrodite at 5th and Mission

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January 15, 2010

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By Juliette Tang

When I encountered this flyer on 5th and Mission, I figured “Cult of the Hermaphrodite” was yet another sadly-named juggalo band I’d never heard of. Unless someone’s cute, lost puppy is involved, flyers usually escape my attention, but loud declarations of”Ancient Sex Cults,” “Numerology,” and “Fertility” proved too ridiculous to ignore.

Closer examination of this bizarreness reveals an interesting viral marketing effort. My very mild disappointment that “Cult of the Hermaphrodite” wasn’t coming to town with opening bands “Prophecy” and “Hard & Hung” in tow was mollified by a happy realization that a seedy adult videostore was still doing business in the Polk Street area: a href=”http://www.yelp.com/biz/frontlyne-video-san-francisco” target=”_blank”>Frontlyne (1428 Bush St). According to my research, their prices are as brilliantly retro as their rentals-based business model: DVDs are $1-a-day.

Spotted at Van Ness and Eddy, dombrassy‘s Flickr

Hopefully, for the sake of cheap DVDs (a modest selection of non X-rated material in stockas well), these flyers will bring some foot traffic, but it’s unclear whether they’re even associated with the business they advertise. I called the store asking about them, and the woman on the line told me “Cult of the Hermaphrodite” wasn’t the title of any DVD they had in stock. “We don’t carry it,” she told me flatly. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about… is this Jen?”

If anyone, or Jen, knows what these flyers refer to, please call Frontlyne at 931-9999. They’d like to know.

Let the gut-busting begin: Sketchfest 2010 hits the stage

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January 14, 2010

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By Caitlin Donohue

Michael Ian Black and his oddly piercing gaze take the stage Friday at SF Sketchfest

It’s coming for you. That weird pain in your side after you’ve laughed so long all the air in your lungs has emptied and your stomach muscles have gotten really tired. Oh yeah, it’s on its way, cause today’s the day Sketchfest hits San Fran. The comedy festival was started by a group of local comedians, who wanted to re-establish SF as a premier spot for stand up performances and sketch work. Now in its eighth year, Sketchfest is made up of live shows by famous-and-not-so-much individuals and troupes, as well as the odd onstage interview and movie showing. The sheer girth of Sketchfest can be a bit… daunting to navigate, so we’re getting you started with a few of our fave upcoming shows. Enjoy. And remember to breathe, that’ll help with the laughter-cramps. Also: weed, which actually has utility on a variety of levels here. Sketchfest goes through Feb. 2nd and you can find info on schedules and ticketing at www.sfsketchfest.com.

Comedy Death Ray
You should not do Sketchfest without seeing some standup. Now, originally Michael Cera was scheduled to be on Death Ray, but he had some “scheduling conflicts” that left us with the more-than-capable Michael Ian Black to helm the ship. Black’s work in such shows as Comedy Central’s “Stella” and “The State” has left a large, hysterical footprint in this world of ours, and once you add in Dana Gould, Scott Aukerman and musical guest Aimee Mann, “Death Ray” looks to be a killer show.
Fri/15 8 p.m, 10:30 p.m., $30
Cobb’s Comedy Club
915 Columbus, SF

Gavin Newsom is flat-out factually wrong

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January 14, 2010

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By Tim Redmond

The mayor of San Francisco made a remarkable statement in his state of the city address. It goes like this, according to the Chron’s report:

“I have not met one human being who says we’re undertaxed in San Francisco,” [Newsom] said.

That’s flat-out factually wrong. And I can prove it.

Gavin Newsom has met me on many occasions. He’s been to my office, and I’ve been to his. We’ve had extensive talks about tax policy. I am a human being, and I’m willing to take a DNA test to prove it.

And Newsom knows that I believe very strongly that we are undertaxed in San Francisco.

I don’t think I’m the only human being he knows who believes that, either. As Aaron Peksin, chair of the local Democratic party, pointed out when I called him on this::

I believe that the voters of San Francisco have demonstrated repeatedly that they are willing to accept new taxes. In November, 2008, they closed loopholes on the payroll taxes, increased the real-property transfer tax and voted in a 911 tax. The voters recently chose to tax themselves for an open space and recreation bond, have voted repeatedly to levy taxes against themselves to improve their schools, and I believe the mayor himself is the sponsor of a proposed general obligation bond — a form of tax — for this June to improve seismic safety.

There is, of course, a distinction between regressive taxes like sales taxes and progressive taxes (like the property transfer levy). But San Franciscans don’t seem to believe, on the whole, that they are overtaxed.

And they shouldn’t. Thanks to Prop. 13, California homeowners and commercial property owners pay scandalously low property taxes. Thanks to the Republicans in Sacramento, wealthy California residents pay scandalously low income taxes. Thanks to Ronald Reagan and G.W. Bush, wealthy Americans pay scandalously low taxes.

And as a whole, Americans pay lower taxes than most other industrialized democracies.

That’s one reason we have such a weak education system and that the gap between the rich and the poor is so high.

So you’re wrong, Gavin. You do know people who think San Franciscans are under taxed. And they’re right.