SFBG photog Ariel Soto scoops SF street fashion. See the previous Look of the Day here.
Today’s Look: Vivian, Cortland and Bennington
Tell us about your look:“Comfort, classic and simple.”
SFBG Blogs
Kinky Comic Carnival will get fingers sticky
By Amber Schadewald
Justin Hall’s Hard To Swallow will go nicely with a Wicked Grounds mocha — extra whip, of course
Surprising, unsettling, naughty and quite nice, kinky comics are way more fun than the traditional cats in the daily papers. Whether you’re already a fan or instantly curious at the thought, the Kinky Comics Carnival is the perfect place to entertain your illustrated fantasies. Charm local comic creators, grab their goods, and beg for an autograph while sipping lattes among a stellar lineup of pervy cartoonist-types like Serena Valentino (Gloom Cookie), Ted Naifeh (Courtney Crumrin), Tristan Crane (How Loathsome) and Greta Christina (Best Erotic Comics).
Award-winning comic book creator Justin Hall will be in attendance, toting works such as Glamazonia the Uncanny Super Tranny and the gay porn Hard To Swallow Comics. Storm, an SF artist and doll shaman will showcase copies of his mini-comic Princess Witch Boy and his goth-art dolls. Men to ladies, queer and straight, the event should tickle every fancy with an array of art exploring gender, relationships, identity, and of course, all kinds of sex. Fairies, sea monsters, bondage fantasies, and superhero fetishes are drawn and explored, daring all eyes for a steamy read.
The event is hosted by Wicked Grounds, San Francisco’s first and only kink café and boutique known for stimulating customers far beyond any Starbucks experience. The pansexual establishment invites customers to swallow a high-end brew, peek at some porn with the wifi, and shop the assortment of erotic literature and titillating toys. The Comics Carnival is sure to lure in some sexy customers and more than a few items for bedtime reading.
Kinky Comic Carnival
Saturday, January 30th, 2-5pm, free
Wicked Grounds
289 Eighth St., SF
www.wickedgrounds.com
See the Kinky Comics Carnival page on Facebook
How bad does Muni have to get
By Tim Redmond
Before Gavin Newsom is willing to consider extending parking meter hours to make drivers pay their fair share?
The budget picture is increasingly bleak, and Muni’s talking about some very unpleasant cuts that may wind up to be ineffective; if buses are slower, dirtier and cost more, then fewer people will ride, and Muni will collect less fare money.
So how bad does it have to get? Does the system have to reach total collapse before Newsom is willing to take a little political risk and raise some money from people who drive downtown and park their cars?
Obama to base: “Continue to fight”
Tosca in North Beach was packed last night for the State of the Union watch party that was thrown by Organizing for America, President Barack Obama’s grassroots organizing operation, and the crowd was predictably supportive of the president despite his political difficulties and declining popularity.
Karen Buchanan — who volunteered on Obama’s presidential campaign and has continued to do so since then, including phone banking to support his health care reform effort – responded positively to the speech’s call for renewed activism, even though she was less than thrilled with some of Obama’s policy prescriptions.
“I don’t agree with him 100 percent, but I’m not going to join the circular firing squad. I continue to support him,” Buchanan said. “He had a nice tone of optimism and we needed that.”
That may be true. Obama’s poignant call for the country’s political, corporate, and media institutions to make strong, good faith efforts to regain the public’s trust was the emotional high point of this speech. But unfortunately, Obama’s muddled and often contradictory policy priorities are frustrating to progressives who have been turning away from this president.
“Waiting for Guffman” forever!
By Louis Peitzman
In honor of SF Sketchfest’s Jan. 31 screening of Waiting for Guffman (1996) with star Fred Willard in person, I tried to interview the entire cast of the film. I failed. I did, however, speak to four cast members — two of Corky’s actors and two Blaine councilpeople — who reflected fondly on their experience and humored my fanboy questions. Where are these characters now? And, of course, is Broadway finally ready for Red, White and Blaine?
Fred Willard (Ron Albertson, travel agent)
On getting involved with director Christopher Guest: “I was in Spinal Tap. I’d worked with Michael McKean and Harry Shearer before, and I knew Rob Reiner. I was doing a show called Fernwood 2 Night at the same time he was doing All in the Family. We would pass in the halls and say hello, how are you. I would say mostly it was because of Harry Shearer, who’s a fairly good friend and who I’ve worked with. So I got in Spinal Tap, and then I was in a movie that Eugene Levy wrote and directed in Toronto called Sodbusters, which is kind of a spoof of Shane. Then next I knew, I got to know Christopher Guest.”
On the improv process: “[Guest] calls you and discusses your character and kind of aims you in the right direction. But there’s nothing, no lines written down. So he films a lot and then cuts out what he doesn’t need, and puts in what moves the plot forward, as he puts it. Which always kind of frustrates me, because some of the funniest stuff that not only I do but that a lot of people do, doesn’t really move the plot forward, but it’s just stuff I’d enjoy seeing. But he likes his movies about 85, 86 minutes. And that way, I think, a lot of people I find tell me they watch them over and over, which you can’t do with a two-and-a-half hour movie.”
On creating Ron: “First, [Guest] kind of gave me everything. He said I was a high school athlete. It was his idea, the penis reduction joke. In fact, he wanted to have a scene where I was running, you know an old film clip of me running the hurdles, and each hurdle being knocked over. That never was filmed or put in the movie, which I’m kind of glad about. He pretty much told me that Catherine [O’Hara] and I were like the Lunt and Fontanne of this little town, that we’d been in every production and when we had to audition, it was just kind of a technicality. We considered ourselves the pros of all the amateurs. I can say we’re about the most annoying couple I’ve seen in film.”
On the Chinese restaurant scene: “[Guest] just said, all right, what we’re going to do is, you’re going to take Eugene Levy and his wife out, because this is their first show and you’re going to try to make them more comfortable, because they’re the newcomers. So my key there is, in making them more comfortable, we would make them as uncomfortable as possible. And I didn’t know that Catherine was going to be drinking and get kind of tipsy during this scene, which added a whole nother dimension. And Eugene is a perfect victim. … [Guest] said the Chinese restaurant scene, we’ll probably film for two hours and then cut it down. And my first thought is, ‘Oh my God, what am I going to think of to say for two hours?’ But the night we did it, it was filmed late at night. We’d finished another scene. We got to the restaurant and we started filming, and went on and on. And finally, he said, cut, that’s it. And I said, ‘Wait a minute, Chris. There’s more! We can still do more!’”
On what Corky sees in the talentless Ron and Sheila: “I would think what Corky sees is a kind of commitment that we have. We probably show up on time, we probably bring baked goods to the cast. We probably have a lot of input and show off a lot of interest. I was going to say we’re probably very good with our lines in the script, but we probably aren’t actually. We probably make up for it by discussing points in the script and pointing out how we could improve our parts.”
On whether or not Ron and Sheila have a happy marriage: “Oh, no. [laughs] You could see that there’s just so much tension, with Sheila’s drinking and Ron kind of domineering her.”
On where Ron and Sheila are now: “If they stayed in Hollywood, they’d probably be running a little acting studio out in North Hollywood where they teach acting, and spend most of the class discussing their near-Broadway adventures, and how they were probably just as glad they never went to Broadway because it would be like prostituting their talents.”
On whether or not Broadway is ready for Red, White and Blaine: “I think it might be wonderful, yes. We were doing some promotion for Chris’s last movie, For Your Consideration, and someone asked, ‘I hear rumors that they want to do Waiting for Guffman on Broadway.’ And Chris was kind of swatting away the idea. He’s not too enthralled with that. And I yelled over to him, ‘Chris, does this mean we’re going to Broadway?’”
On a possible sequel: “I wrote an idea for a Waiting for Guffman, part two, and got it to [Guest]. And he discussed it with me, and said, ‘Well, I have several other ideas.’ That was before we did the next movie. I thought that was going to be the only one, and I said, ‘Chris, come on, this is my opportunity. Let’s do another one.’”
Catherine O’Hara (Sheila Albertson, travel agent)
On getting involved with Christopher Guest: “I worked with [Guest] — it was for HBO years ago, with Fred Willard and him. And we had a great time together. And I hoped to work with him again, and then I got a call about Waiting for Guffman.”
On the improv process: “It’s thrilling and exhilarating and scary. Really scary on the first couple of days, especially the first day, when you first open your mouth. Because there’s no rehearsal and you know, you open your mouth on camera, with the camera rolling, and you hope to God that you made a good choice. You’re locked in from that point on.”
On the outlines: “[Christopher Guest and Eugene Levy’s] outlines are inspiring, because they’re filled with funny ideas about these people. Everything that’s on the page is very well chosen. I think Waiting for Guffman was just a few pages — they’ve gotten longer. Because in Guffman, we all kind of traveled around as a group, so it would say, ‘They have rehearsal.’ Whereas the other stories, we sort of split up into different couples and different groups, so there were more pages.”
On creating Sheila: “They gave us the idea that Ron and Sheila ran a travel agency but had never been anywhere. So right there, you start thinking, ‘Why would I have never been anywhere when I have a travel agency?’ And you can make whatever choices you want, and there’s no discussion. You don’t have to run anything by Chris. You just come out with it on camera, and he can use it or not. But it’s so freeing that way, because everyone’s imaginations can be limited by directors or writers when it’s fully scripted. … You are totally free to create your own world and present their ideas with whatever voice you choose. And you just start rolling.”
On Sheila’s talent, or the lack thereof: “I would like to claim that I show the least talent. I think the others were probably thinking ahead to their careers outside of this movie. [laughs] But I showed no potential in Sheila’s performance.”
On playing a bad actor-singer: “Oh, it’s fun. It’s fun to try to ride the fine line of bad acting and not be too bad. You just want to be sincerely bad. But the best is — I mean, the saddest of the best in life, is when people kid themselves. And we’re all doing it every day, I’m sure. But you know, when someone sincerely believes that they have a right to be performing or doing whatever they’re doing in life and they don’t have talent or what it takes to pull it off. But they love it, and you can’t take that away from them. They love it and they get so much out of it and they believe they’re born to do it. And God bless them.”
On whether or not Ron and Sheila have a happy marriage: “What did Fred say? [laughs] I don’t think they have a healthy marriage. I think their marriage might last, just because, who else is going to be with them? [laughs] I think it’s a sad, codependent kind of relationship. They’re so deeply into their own whatever the hell they’ve got going on, I’m not sure they’d have the wherewithal or nerve or whatever, to leave each other.”
On the Chinese restaurant scene: “I loved that we had that [Chinese restaurant] scene. … I think I maybe did run that by him right before we did that. I asked him if I could be drunk and he said yeah. It was great because, you know, there’s a lot of stuff that Sheila’s burying deep down, in my mind anyway. And some of that got to come out because she was not editing herself and not aware of being on camera.”
On where Ron and Sheila are now: “They probably are together, but then she’d still be drinking if they are. No, maybe she’s gone sober. Sober and he found a true love for her, taking care of her through her rehab. And there are a lot of people in this city and every city who are acting in maybe not big famous ways, but they’re acting and they’ve got their groups of friends who they work with, and I’m sure Ron and Sheila could survive. And Ron, he’s got such nerve, he’d get them in the door.”
On whether or not Broadway is ready for Red, White and Blaine: “Oh, sad. Sad to say. Well, you know, I’ve seen some sad stuff on Broadway. Maybe. Let’s be honest.”
Michael Hitchcock (Steve Stark, councilperson)
On getting involved with Christopher Guest: “I’m a member of the Groundlings theater in Los Angeles, which is a comedy/improv troupe. And one night I was doing an all-improv show over there, and I found out afterwards that [Christopher Guest] had been in the audience. And I was glad I didn’t know ahead of time, because I would have been really nervous. I found out he wanted to interview me regarding Waiting for Guffman. He doesn’t really do auditions, per se — he interviews people he’s interested in. He kind of scours various improv theaters and comedy places.”
On the improv process: “Chris’s movies are so different from anything else that you’d ever imagine, because it’s such a creative experience, I think, for everyone involved. You just don’t get that in a scripted thing, and there’s obviously nothing wrong with scripted material—there’s writers who are usually very good at what they do and have written great things. But on something like this, you get to create your character.”
On creating Steve Stark: “We sat down, for my part, I was a councilman and we talked a little bit about it ahead of time. And he asked me, ‘What do you want to do?’ And I said, ‘Well, I would like to be someone who really wanted to be in the show but didn’t make it. And I’m kind of secretly in love with you.’ And he said, ‘All right, let’s try that.’ I chose for myself the occupation of being a pharmacist, because growing up, I had a job in a pharmacy, so I knew a lot about that. I knew about the pharmacy life. In improv, you obviously want to have specific information, so I could draw on life experience for that.”
On what makes Christopher Guest movies unique: “You never rehearse. So there’s never like a trial run of improv information. The first time anyone talks is when the cameras roll, which I really, really like. I think a lot of people don’t do it that way. Chris is one of the few people who actually do it like that and I love it. You can’t really plan ahead. You have no idea what the next person is going to say. It just makes it so invigorating. Certainly scary but invigorating at the same time. The weird thing about watching any Christopher Guest movie if you’re in it, is thinking, ‘I don’t even remember saying that.’ It’s so weird to look at them and go, ‘Oh my gosh, I really said that?’ You kind of forget, because you obviously film it more than one time.”
On where Steve is now: “In one of the reshoots, Corky and Steve Stark end up together in New York. And that was filmed and not used. So I’ve always thought, well, maybe he did. But in my own mind, I think poor Steve is probably at the pharmacy, hoping against hope that Corky moves back to town.”
On the gay subtext: “I think in that kind of a situation, the small town kind of situation, he was married and had a wife and kids. He probably didn’t even know himself exactly what was happening.”
On the Christopher Guest family: “It’s truly like a family reunion getting together. And Chris, to his credit, in subsequent films you usually get paired up with somebody new, so there’s a new chemistry and a new kind of playing around, which I just love. And plus, what’s great, he usually hires the same crew, too, so the people behind the scenes are familiar faces, which makes a huge difference when you’re flying by the seat of your pants in an improv situation.”
On whether or not Broadway is ready for Red, White and Blaine: “I think if a chandelier fell down. If you could get a chandelier to fly down, then yes, certainly. I think Broadway would certainly be ready for Red, White and Blaine. Some of the other Broadway shows, you kind of wonder how they got up there. If you actually look at Red, White and Blaine, it’s pretty well produced. So that’s what I really liked about Chris’s approach. It’s not like people are stumbling over their lines or falling over each other. Corky was a taskmaster: those people knew their lines and knew their dances and the scenery came in at the right time. In real life, that scenery could never have fit on the stage. So I thought, good for Corky. He had it figured out.”
Deborah Theaker (Gwen Fabin-Blunt, councilperson)
On getting involved with Christopher Guest: “I had met Catherine and Eugene and all of the SCTV people at the Second City, because they’d been there over the years. I was the lead actress on a series that Eugene Levy created for George Lucas called Maniac Mansion … That was my first big job, and then, I performed out here—there was a Second City in Los Angeles back in 1990, and Chris Guest just coincidentally happened to come to one of the shows we did. And he left me a note. There was no real audition. There was never any audition. I think he just called the people he liked.”
On the improv process: “What Chris has created is a two-sided thing, because you never feel the same about a script. You rarely get a script that passes your desk or that you see that you go, ‘Oh my God, this is fantastic.’ Improvising your own material and creating your own character ruins you for the real world. It’s just so inventive and so much more fun to do a movie that way that any scripted material pales in comparison. It’s almost like he’s ruined us for real movies.”
On creating Gwen: “In the outline, I was a city councilwoman — pretty much all we knew. I decided from watching dailies with them, I better come up with something more, because it could be very easy to get cut. I decided to make myself the last surviving descendent of Blaine Fabin, so that was me. But when we were meeting, talking about the character, he said, ‘I see you as the sort of woman who wears open-toed sandals with pantyhose,’ and I went, ‘Oh, I got ya.’ I used my friend’s name — her last name was Blunt — because we could pick our own character names. And I know that Mike Hitchcock, Steve Stark, also used his friend’s name.”
On holding her own against the wackier characters: “I think you only manage to be funny in that situation if you don’t try to be, if you just kind of go so deep or invest so much in your own viewpoint or whatever viewpoint your character has. I’ve never gotten a laugh if I’ve tried to be funny, ever. I don’t know why that is, but it is, so I always find — and to me, the things that are the best material are weird nuances of people’s behavior or their strange idiosyncrasies.”
On the comedic contributions of hair and makeup: “Look at Catherine with her ‘Texas claw,’ what they called the ‘Texas claw,’ where her bangs are so high, because women in Texas would wear their hair that way. To me, that was hilarious. And then there was the inspired bit that our makeup artist Kate Shorter put in of all the performers having those red dots by their eyes when they do the stage show. That just cracked me up.”
On the reality TV connection: “It’s just about — I hate to say it — the audacity of hope, that they all think they could be Broadway stars. It’s the same kind of misguidedness that you see on American Idol with the contestants who are as flat as pancakes and couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, but they’re just so convinced that this is their big moment. There’s something borderline tragic but borderline sweet about how hopeful everybody is about having a show business career without having any talent. Now you see, it’s been backed up by all these years of reality television. You see all these competitors who are so earnest and so sincere in their desire to do whatever they cannot possibly do because they just don’t have a shred of talent.”
On how difficult Gwen’s life really is as a Fabin: “I think it’s her delusional creation of a dynasty. In that little place, she’s a big fish in a little pond only by reminding everyone that she’s a Fabin. People don’t honestly care or remember, but to her, that’s all she’s got to go on, so she’s going to milk it for every ounce that she can.”
On where Gwen is now: “I think that she would now be the mayor and she’d be a despot. I think that she’d have been all sweet and congenial all the way through. And then finally, once she got a little bit of power, she’d go completely power-hungry, because she’s a Fabin after all.”
On whether or not Broadway is ready for Red, White and Blaine: “There were rumors that at some point they were trying to make this into a musical. … If they did do it as a musical, it would have to be done with a sense of irony, and I don’t know if they could pull that off. The film was presented as verite, as a documentary. The musical in and of itself wouldn’t work as a musical without the framework of the documentary, so I don’t know. Hard to say.”
SF Sketchfest presents Waiting for Guffman with Fred Willard in person
Sun/31, 2 p.m., $15
Christopher B. Smith Rafael Film Center
1118 Fourth St, San Rafael
www.sfsketchfest.org
Strange sounds: “Trimpin” hits the Red Vic
This is what genius is made of. Toy monkeys, Bunsen burners, turkey basters, wooden shoes, a 10,000 volt neon transformer, water. Or at least, this is the shape of inspired thought in “Trimpin: The Sound of Invention,” a film playing this weekend at the Red Vic Movie House whose focus is on a sound sculptor creating fantastic sculptures of instruments that are actually played by intricately tuned computer programs.
“Trimpin: The Sound of Invention” playing this weekend at the Red Vic Movie House
Never heard of Trimpin? Maybe you’ve caught a glimpse of the German born artist’s installation at Seattle’s Experience Music Project, ‘If VI was IX.’ It’s creation is followed in the movie; a self-tuning stack of 700 guitars piled 50 feet high, programmed to play songs from Scottish ballads to punk rock- even a genre created by Trimpin that he calls “kingk rock.” The instruments soar from the museum’s floor like some stirring auditory tornado that is its own conductor, creating an enveloping sound experience for its audience. Filmmakers have done us a great service by documenting the development and implementation of ‘If VI was IX’- it is not every artist that has the cranial space to conceive of such a project.
Trimpin is a difficult artist to categorize, but “The Sound of Invention” tries to cover all the bases. He is shown in his capacities as a composer, a mechanical/computer engineer, a lover of auditory pleasures, a savant. He makes sound art from unlikely sources- see my list that begins this post- and uses them for all ranges of musical forms, from the known to the previously unimagined. This is the first time the world has gotten such a close look at the man- Trimpin has never sought representation by a dealer or gallery, and up to the release of the movie, had never recorded the soundtracks created by his brainchildren commercially.
But hey, here they are, all tied up with a neat cinematic bow- sounds like… a great flick.
“Trimpin: The Sound of Invention”
Fri/29 7:15, 9:15 (through Sun/31), $6-9
Red Vic Movie House
1727 Haight, SF
(415) 668-3994
www.redvicmoviehouse.com
Appetite: Hoist your stein for Beer Week
By Virginia Miller of www.theperfectspotsf.com. View the previous Appetite here.
2/5-2/14 – SF Beer Week is going to be a big one this year
We’ve been buzzing awhile now about next week’s SF Beer Week. This one, only the second, is slated to be huge with over 200 events going on in a 10-day span. There’s a lot of beer sampling to be had, my friends! Celebrating craft beers at large, and the rich diversity of our local craft beers, the event is sponsored by local breweries in the SF Brewers Guild. There’s an event to suit every beer lover, from meet-the-brewer nights, to tours, tastings and dinners, to special casks and releases. Navigating the sudsy waters is a bit daunting, but here are a few to consider:
**The big shindig, 2/5, is an Opening Gala at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, featuring 30 of Nor Cal’s best (including some rare) brews, a tapping of the Brewers Guild collaborative brew (a barrel-aged Imperial Common), live music, commemorative stemware for each attendee, and food for purchase from the likes of 4505 Meats, Tacolicious, and Tataki Sushi. Get tix now as they’re $45 but will be $55 after 1/31.
Howard Zinn has died
By Steven T. Jones
Historian and social justice advocate Howard Zinn – whose work inspired me and countless others to look at history and the world from the people’s perspective, rather than that of the conquerors and power-brokers – has died.
Zinn’s People History of the United States was performed at Mission High School last year, and my preview of that prompted criticism on his scholarship. But he is truly one of the great progressive thinkers of the 20th Century, someone who took courageous actions on behalf of his ideals, and he’ll truly be missed.
Alioto-Pier drops out of insurance commissioner race
By Steven T. Jones
Michela Alioto-Pier has withdrawn from the race for insurance commissioner. “Michela suffered an injury to her leg which required surgery and will entail additional time in the hospital time to heal,” her husband Tom Pier said in a public statement. “The necessary recuperation, as well as the demands of her duties as a San Francisco Supervisor and as a mother of three young children, make a statewide run for Insurance Commissioner impractical at this time.”
We’re sorry to hear about her poor health. But like most of her progressive colleagues on the board, who already endorsed Assembly member Dave Jones for insurance commissioner, we’re not disappointed that her candidacy has come to an end.
At a time when insurance companies like the truly malevolent Mercury Insurance are brazenly pushing deceptive profit-making schemes and actively corrupting politicians of both major parties, we need a strong and independent defender of the public interest in this job.
And based on her well-established record of coziness with corporations and hostility to progressive causes, Alioto-Pier just isn’t that person.
Live Shots: Phoenix at the Fillmore, 01/26/2010
Text and photos by Ariel Soto
I remember the first time I heard the music of the amazing French band Phoenix (http://www.wearephoenix.com/). I was in college and some kid in my Spanish class gave me a copy of their first album, “United,” and I sat in my tiny closet-sized, pink wallpapered room and played it over and over again. When I find music I like, I play it ad nauseam, driving everyone around me crazy. That album also became the background to many a make-out session with my now fiance in that teeny pink room. Today when I listen to Phoenix’s music, it’s like downing a huge glass of sweet nostalgia.
Last night they performed at the Fillmore. The show was packed with lip-syncing Phoenix devotees, who bounced up and down to each intoxicating piece with syncopated perfection, which was actually kind of frightening when the floor began to bounce with them (eeek!). The band, which just released a new album last year titled Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, was contagiously energized and fantastic throughout the whole set, as they disappeared and reappeared from inside clouds of smoke and a wildly colorful light show. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one reminiscing during the concert because Phoenix’s music is the perfect medium for making fond memories.
alt.sex.column: The old triangle
By Andrea Nemerson. Email your questions to andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com. Read more of Andrea’s columns here.
Dear Andrea:
I seem to find myself being one-third of a long-term, stable threesome. Or is there no such thing?
I was dating “Jill,” who is bi but was only dating me. We decided to try a threesome just for fun and invited her friend “Jen.” It turned out not to be one-time thing. Jen came back, and came back again, and she and Jill started to fall in love, and so did we (Jen and me), and before you knew it, we had this thing that looks weird from the outside but feels very normal and even simple to us. Only a few close friends know, and we are worried about what parents and others would say if they knew. Jill and I were planning on getting married and having a kid, and we still want to, but now Jen would be part of our family too. And we’d like to get a house together, but wouldn’t people know then?
I know “one guy, two girls” sounds like a porno fantasy, but it isn’t like that really. We all have jobs and lives, and it’s not like we hang around the pool having crazy three-way sex all the time. But we do want to stay together. What do you think? Is such a thing possible?
Love,
Equilateral
Dear Equ:
Clearly so, since you are doing it. As for the future, who can tell?
An equilateral triangle is about as stable a shape as you can find, but even triangles suffer stresses. You are still in the two-honeysmoon phase and everyone is, I am sure, on his or her best behavior. This is certain not to last. Sooner or later someone will feel neglected or insufficiently supported and will not repress the urge to make that snappish comment, and somebody else will come back with a “Yeah? If you’re so ____ing _____ why don’t you ______instead of ______ing?” and somebody else will roll his or her eyes and somebody will yell at the eye-roller for eye-rolling. It is inevitable. And soothing three egos and salving three sets of hurt feelings is exponentially more complicated.
I would also not discount the lack of societal support for nontraditional unions as a source of yet more stress. I hesitate to draw a direct parallel to gay couples, but not having people beam at you when you announce your intentions and not having all the aunts tear up at the sight of the lovely bride (groom) and not having the chair dance and the “mazel tov and siman tov” can be a real loss. It isn’t all about the health insurance and the tax breaks or even about commitment — marriage is also about societal support and approval, and that support and approval does help solidify a union. As I said, not exactly the same thing, though. Your situation is worse.
What? No. I don’t disapprove. But other people will, so strenuously that you will feel obligated to keep it a secret. And while secrets can be sexy and sharing them can be bonding, living in hiding (or in a situation generally misunderstood or despised) is ultimately pretty destructive. Which is certainly no reason not to do it.
The complications of a multiple marriage (equivalent) go far beyond potential threats to peace on the home front like jealousy, possessiveness, and schedule difficulties. (Have you never watched Big Love? Even if you’re not planning on founding your own splinter sect, you might want to.) Spouses are family, but what are second spouses? What happens if Jen has a family emergency, is ill herself, or otherwise in need of immediate succor? Your boss understands “My wife’s mother died, I’ll be out this week.” She doesn’t give a damn about your wife’s girlfriend’s mother. What if Jen wants to have a baby too? The three of you may fall easily into a family pattern that works for you, with one mommy and one mama, or whatever — children never seem to find unusual arrangements the least bit troublesome, since they have no idea what “usual” is and what’s normal is what’s normal for them. Schools and soccer coaches and other authorities, however, will have Opinions.
In other, fewer words, sure, you can do this. Jill can do it. Jen can do it. But living a life that sounds like somebody else’s dirty joke is not going to be easy. If I’m sick of hearing “You’ve really got your hands full!” when I walk by with my twins — imagine how tired of it you’re going to get. You might want to get in practice now: “How do you figure out which one to do first?” sniggers the office wit when you let slip that you’re finding your home life complicated, “I wish I had your problems.”
“Dude,” you’ll sigh, as you attempt to side-step him to get to the copier, “You have noidea.” And he won’t.
Love,
Andrea
ACORN-hater O’Keefe arrested in Louisiana Watergate
We don’t know why O’Keefe targeted Louisiana’s Landrieu, but we do know he led the attack on ACORN in 2009
Last year, we wrote about how Karl Rove targeted ACORN in 2006 as part of a concerted Republican campaign to attack progressive organizations that were registering low-income voters and helping them fight corporate power.
Those attacks came to a seemingly salacious climax in 2009, when James O’Keefe, a conservative videographer, secretly taped some ACORN employees saying stupid things—an incident that somehow became one of the biggest political stories of the year.
And now O’Keefe is back in the political headlines, only this time as one of four men charged Jan. 26 with trying to illegally access and manipulate the phone system in a district office of U.S. Sen. Mary Landrieu of Louisiana.
We don’t yet know why O’Keefe targeted the Democratic senator from Louisiana. But his arrest has a fortunate side effect: it’s keeping the focus on the results of an official investigation into ACORN—a story that otherwise probably wouldn’t have got much coverage but is now being widely reported.
Take CNN’s coverage of O’Keefe’s arrest. It notes that, “a review by former Massachusetts Attorney General Scott Harshbarger, who was hired by ACORN to examine the issue, found no wrongdoing by ACORN employees.”
It also notes that O’Keefe and a female associate were named in a lawsuit that an ACORN worker in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, filed Jan. 21, accusing the pair of illegally videotaping an interview with her last July and distributing it on the Internet.
“That video and others by O’Keefe and his associate led to the dismissal of four ACORN employees who appeared to offer advice to the couple and to federal legislation barring the group from receiving federal funds,” CNN notes.
Now, I don’t expect the right-wing attack machine to stop its assault on progressive organizations and individuals, any time soon, but there’s hope the truth will eventually out.
Hot sex events this week: Jan 27-Feb 2
Compiled by Molly Freedenberg
Selina Raven is the spankin’ maven at Good Vibes on Monday.
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>> Lip Service
Tracy Bartlett leads this perennially popular workshop about one of the most overlooked erotic skills: kissing. Bring a partner to smooch and a bottle of water to keep your lips lubed.
Wed/27, 8pm
$45/pair with pre-registration
Good Vibrations Valencia
603 Valencia, SF
www. goodvibes.com
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>> Sex Workers’ Writing Workshop
Gina de Vries hosts this workshop for current and former sex workers who want to share their writing and get honest, non-judgmental feedback.
Wed/27, 5:30pm
$10-$20
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
www.sexandculture.org
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>> Erotic Reading Circle
Share new or old work in this non-judgmental workshop setting.
Wed/27, 7:30pm
$5-$10 suggested donation
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
www.sexandculture.org
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LA’s pot war shows SF did it right
Yesterday’s vote by the Los Angeles City Council to impose strict new restrictions on the city’s medical cannabis dispensaries – an unenforceable approach likely to cause a legal and political backlash – validates the proactive and cooperative approach that San Francisco has taken to the clubs, which I discuss in this week’s cover story.
By simply ignoring the issue, Los Angeles created a lax environment where more than 800 clubs opened shop, prompting a community backlash. And now that they’re attempting to put that genie back in the bottle, they’re using tools that most likely run afoul of the rights created by Prop. 215, which legalized medical marijuana.
While LA City Council members, national political commentators, and even the latest issue of Harpers Magazine have parroted the point that LA now has more pot clubs that Starbucks, legalization advocates say it’s a bogus point. “It’s bullshit the way they compare it to Starbucks. How about comparing that to all the coffee shops, or the number of places that sell alcohol,” said Richard Lee, founder of Oaksterdam University and a key proponent of a proposed fall initiative to legalize weed for even recreational uses.
BTW, marijuana activists have made that comparison, calculating that Los Angeles has about 15,000 liquor stores, and even more stores where cigarettes are available. So which drug is really threatening the neighborhoods?
Party Radar: Andy Butler, Prefuse 73, Poleng closing
So much goodness (and a little sad — see: Poleng Closing Party) out there in SF partyland. So, so much — in fact it’s like a creative explosion. Besides umpteen parties for Haiti this week, a great OK Hole, some soulful Anane, and a bit of wobble from DJ Krush, here’s a few more parties you may enjoy …
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Hercules and Love Affair (Andy Butler DJ set)
Butler in Butt mag
We could be mad at Hercules and Love Affair founder Andy Butler for stealing our precious DJ Jason Kendig away to tour the world (and, yes, have a love affair). But the deep-disco-reminiscent music’s just so good! He and Jason will rock Vessel on Wednesday with Honey Soundsystem’s Pee Play and BT Magnum.
Hercules and Love Affair DJ set
Wed/27, 10 p.m., $10
Vessel
85 Compton, SF
www.vesselsf.com
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Last Call: Poleng Closing Party — Haiti Relief
Sake One helps bid adieu
Oh man, one of the cutest spaces in the city is succumbing to the recession — but in style, donating all the proceeds of its final party to Oxfam for Haiti. We had some good times … Join Bay hip-hop and funk heavyweights Sake One and J-Boogie, Mr. E, Vinroc, Proof, Hakobo, King Most, Prince Aries, Haylow, Cutso, DJ Mel, Ant One, Green Tea, Shred One, Andy C, Chicken Skratch, Umami, Green B, BT Magnum, and Binaca! to bid farewell …
Last Call: Poleng Closing party
Fri/29, 9pm, sliding scale donation $5-10
Poleng Lounge
1751 Fulton, SF
all proceeds go towards Haiti earthquake relief
via www.oxfam.org
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Prefuse 73
Lush and chunky east Coast beats (I totally stole that description from someone else’s YouTube comments because it works) from the sexy Guillermo Scott Herren — no, not Gil Scott-Heron — at Slim’s. He’ll be joined by future-dub amazeball Gaslamp Killer for extra wow factor. This is the one to smoke up and get down too …
Prefuse 73
Tue/2, 8 pm, $20
Slim’s
333 11th Street, SF
www.slims-sf.com
When selling local grub is outlawed, only outlaws will sell local grub
By Caitlin Donohue
One can only wonder how long an idea this good is going to remain underground. Or on good terms with the health department, who actually stopped by during the last Underground Farmer’s Market to inspect the homegrown goodness going down, leaving amiably with some chiding words of how they could make it a little more “legal” next time.
Poster design by Philip Clark
But that’s kind of the point of the UFM- that the produce and other foodie goods on offer are outlawed. That’s because they’re made in home kitchens by folks that can’t afford the fees involved in renting out a commercially-certified space to cook, but still want to offer up their wild mushrooms, sarsaparilla and sauerkraut to the neighbors. The party/market squashes vendors, bands and informational workshops on topics from soap making to the husbandry of urban chickens all into a little house on Capp. It’s a concept that’s really resonating as the locavore movement runs afoul of the budget concerns of even the most well-intentioned eaters.
Last month the first underground market was a smash hit, neatly selling out of all food concerned until desperate late comers were filing back orders with their favorite “criminal” food seller. Check out the market’s appropriately underground url below for a list of the eatables that will be on offer. And get there early this Thursday. Or bank on the fact that the five-oh don’t read the New York Times.
This week’s event will feature the “outsider folk” tunes of Beatbeat Whisper, over 25 food entrepreneurs and even a wild boar to eat on. A concept so good it’s criminal! Oh, wait…
Underground Farmers’ Market
Thurs/28 5 – 11 p.m., free
199 Capp, SF
http://us1.campaign-archive.com/?u=5bb29e249d33f56d1f219edeb&id=87e42e23cb
Snap Sounds: Beach House
By Amber Schadewald
Teen Dream
(Sub Pop)
Romantic and eloquently sewn, the latest release from Beach House is sure to make you swoon. Teen Dream reminisces of a lonely dance floor, surrounded by glowing lanterns, slight piano, sliding guitar and soft lavender scents. Victoria Legrand’s vocals burn with grace and pair flawlessly with simple tambourine and lingering electronics for an album that deserves a full listen.
Snap Sounds: The Crêpes
By Johnny Ray Huston. View the previous Snap Sound here.
What Else?
(Information)
Balearic goes cuddlecore, as a member of Studio crafts acoustic music gentle enough for Sarah Records lovers. Sounds like the Field Mice on vitamins in the sunshine.
The CrÊpes, “What Else?”
Snap Sounds: Washed Out
By Johnny Ray Huston. See the previous Snap Sound here.
Life of Leisure
(Mexican Summer)
Forget Neon Indian, and hold the verdict on Memory Tapes — here’s the valedictorian of the chillwave, glo-fi, hypnagogic pop brigade. Ignore the blog backlash, because "Hold Out" is too gorgeous for the movies, and "Feel It All Around" is 10cc’s "I’m Not in Love" for the 21st century.
Washed Out, “Feel It All Around”
Breathe easier at yoga conference’s free classes
By Caitlin Donohue
Last year’s mass lotus positioning at the Yoga Journal SF Conference. Photo by Nancy Dionne via the Yoga Journal website
This weekend, one of the nation’s largest get togethers of yoga masters, devotees and novices is going down just a bus ride from your front door. We’re talking all star yogis sharing their knowledge of kirtans, sun salutations and the business of starting your own yoga enterprise. But will you be snagging a ticket to attend the 7th Annual Yoga Journal San Francisco Conference?
I’m going to guess the answer is namaste you very much, but no. That’s because the price tag for the conference stands at $956 for a full five day pass. And no, that’s not including such luxuries as lodging, food and transportation. A single day pass for Saturday or Sunday is still gonna run you $285 worth of downward facing dog.
So maybe you won’t catch the Michael Franti/ Sean Corn vinyasa workshop (stay human guys, the class sold out awhile ago, anyway). But you may be surprised to hear that Yoga Journal has organized some special events for SF yogis who haven’t quite hit Rainbeau Mars’ income bracket. After the jump, a list of some of the open attendance, free of charge chances to focus on your breath this weekend.
The truth behind the Prop. 8 lies
By Tim Redmond
Another day of amazing evidence in the Prop. 8 trial. Check out Robert Cruickshank’s report here. I’m still not so sure that this will turn out to be a smart legal strategy; even if we win at the trial court level and the 9th Circuit, I’m not sure I want this current Supreme Court to make law on same-sex marriage. But the trial has absolutely and positively produced evidence showing the bigotry behind Prop. 8.
“The Viagra Diaries”: sexy chick lit for the over-sixty set
If the idea that a mainstream San Francisco newspaper would publish a weekly sex/dating column called The Viagra Diaries — targeted at local singles over the age of sixty — sounds like a work of fiction, it’s not because Violet Blue isn’t in her sixth decade yet.
The Viagra Diaries is a novel by Barbara Rose Brooker, a 73-year-old local writer whose latest protagonist happens to be a septuagenarian dating columnist named Anny Applebaum. [No doubt revered Russian historian and political journalist Anne Applebaum is tickled — Ed.] The name of Applebaum’s fictional column supplies the book’s title. Old but hardly wise, Anny struggles with personal finance and falls into a messy relationship with an emotionally unavailable older man. Given that Anny shares Carrie Bradshaw’s mental age, perhaps it makes sense that her column is more like “Sex and the City” than “Sexually Speaking with Dr. Ruth.”
Known to Anny’s readers as “Mr. X,” Marv is a 75-year-old diamond dealer whose merits include being addicted to JDate, constant cheating, and lusting helplessly after women who are too young for him. He wears a flashy gold Rolex and drives a Mercedes convertible. His eloquence is revealed in statements like, “I love all sports. I ski all over the world. My first wife was a champion French skier. She ran off with her trainer and died in a ski accident.” Ever drawn to the bad boy, ingenue Anny enters into a mostly-NSA sexual relationship with Marv, and the emotional detritus provides fodder for her column. Brooker’s novel seems to argue that poor decision-making skills, romantic and otherwise, are not wasted on the young.
Brooker sold the movie rights to The Viagra Diaries and has appeared recently on the morning talk circuit promoting her book. Her goal, she’s said, was to show that old age doesn’t necessitate BINGO and nursing homes, that old people can have successful careers, grand aspirations, and good sex too. This argument, to which Sophia Loren is a walking testament, is hardly new. At one extreme, I suppose you have something like 77-year-old Philip Roth’s The Humbling, featuring a sexually-potent protagonist in his mid-sixties who likes a lesbian threesome every now and again, and on the other, something like this.
The Viagra Diaries is addressed to a particular type of older woman. Helen Gurley Brown would read this book. Doris Lessing and A. S. Byatt would not. But by its intended audience, The Viagra Diaries will be well-received. Joan Rivers, not known for being easy to please, described it as “a poignant picture of dating, romantic love, parenting an adult daughter, and sex after sixty.” Brooker is no belletrist, but she manages to unassumingly, sometimes even unintentionally, charm. With scaffolding borrowed from the much-loved chick lit canon, her characters are immediately recognizable to anyone who has ever read a matte-finished paperback with a stylized handbag or lipstick tube on the cover. It makes perfect sense for Anny and Marv, old though they be, to fashion themselves after Candace Bushnell and Helen Fielding characters. What better method can there be to feeling young-at-heart than to indulge in the immature follies of the young?