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Hot sexy events: October 27th-November 2nd

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So you loved it when the princess in Disney movies was tied up, but aren’t quite sure if you’re ready to make the move to complicated (read: spendy) ropes and harnesses? No fear, my dear! Alluring ropes lady Midori is here to teach you how to hold down your naughty loved one with the aid of but a few handy scarves at her upcoming Good Vibrations class (Mon/1). Can you believe you can make a dildo harness from a kicky accessory? Come to think of it, dildo harnesses might just be the most kicky accessory of them all…

 

Erotic Reading Circle

Because where oh where will all those literary dirty thoughts in your head go, if not out your mouth and onto the printed page? An opportunity for all those venturing into erotica writing to test out their material in front of a welcoming, sex-positive crowd, hosted by Carol Queen and Jen Cross of Writing Ourselves Whole.

Wed/27 7:30-9:30 p.m., free

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, SF

(415) 552-7399

www.sexandculture.org


Halloween Pansexual Play Party

For all voyeurs, tops, bottoms, switches, here’s the perfect chance to check out Oakland’s relatively new dungeon space. Space mistresses Jezebel and Isabella will be more than happy to aide you in your BDSM hauntings. 

Fri/29 8 p.m.-1 a.m., $20 single-$35 couple

The Looking Glass Dungeon

Jack London Square, Oakl.

 www.myspace.com/thelookingglassdungeon 

mail@thelookingglassarts.com 


Kinky Salon XXX Haunted Funhouse

I’m not really sure how you’ll find time to engage in copulation at this fake blood scare sex session. Between beats by clown-hop Burner DJ http://gooferman.com/ Gooferman, demon summonings, seances, zombie strippers, and ahem, fake spiders on strings (watch that he doesn’t dangle into unwelcoming orifices, will ya) – well, I’m sure you’ll find time. After all, it’s a two-night party.

Fri/29 and Sat/30 10 p.m., $25-$30 members only

Mission Control

2519 Mission, SF

www.missioncontrolsf.org


Wonderland at the Citadel

The Citadel is quick to note that unlike Wonderland, events at the Citadel do not inspire with the mere ingestion of fungi or snack treats – although that’d be awesome if they did. This is why they are having this fundraiser, which will plunge the appreciative perv into the White Rabbit, the Mad Hatter, various tea party refreshments, burlesque, and a dirty singalong of “My Favorite Things.” Plus an auction will be held where things like corsets, gags, sensual cupping scenes, and rattan canes can be had for a bid. 

Sat/30 3-6 p.m., $10

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-2746

www.sfcitadel.org


Citadel Cinema: Rob Zombie’s Halloween

How often during the course of your dungeon play party do you look up and think man, I wish there was a big screen TV over there? Well, all you screen-addicted creatures of the 21st century, your time is now! In honor of the scariest time of year besides Fleet Week, the Citadel is playing one of Rob Zombie’s gore fests – with It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown as a bonus teaser. Invite says bring your own pillows and blankets, uh-oh!

Sun/31 6-10:30 p.m., $5

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-2746

www.sfcitadel.org


Wrapped for Pleasure: Easy Bondage for Steamy Sex

You need not have a fully-equipped dungeon to have fun with toys. Let an expert teach you the utility of a few well-placed scarves and cushions. Viola! You are now kinky. 

Mon/1 6-8 p.m., $20-$25

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0500

www.goodvibes.com

 

 

 

Not yo momma’s pole dance

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… Or should I say, father’s? After all, your momma probably didn’t get a chance to check out the ladies of the pole in her day — unless, of course, the parentals met at The Lusty Lady. What I’m trying to say here is that sexy on a stick is now an official fitness sport. And its participants are often a lot more athletic than synthetic.

A fact which I learned all about from US Pole Dancing Federation co-founder Anna Gundstrom, who explained to us in a phone interview why you’ll wanna make the trek up to Redwood City for the thigh holds of the west coast regional championships November 6th. “I’m not going to say its not a sensual form of dance — that’d be silly to say since it did start in strip clubs,” Gundstrom tells me.

Competitive pole dancing — competitive for more than boners and ten spots, that is — then, is not a rejection of the art (sport? seduction?) form’s inherent sexiness, but rather a forum in which it can coexist without conflict with strength. Gundstrom started the federation with business partner Wendy Traskos, who she met at a pole dancing studio. Traskos came from a competitive fitness background, echoes of which can be find in many of the USPDF competitors’ hard bodies. Gundstrom and Traskos saw the work being done on poles as deserving of athletic medals as any figure-skating routine — a sport which eventually inspired the duo’s scoring system.

At the time of the league’s inception, most pole dance competitions were held in clubs, where Gundstrom says “they were decided by crowd cheering, which wasn’t really a fair show. Our goal was to host credible pole dance competitions where people could come and compete and be judged by a fair system.” That fair system is a two-round pony, the first dance being a compulsory routine of 60-90 seconds during which the pole dance contestants have to pop, drop, and lock their way into six to eight required poses. 

Amy Guion rides the pony at the 2010 USPDF Championships. Photo by Laura Ganzero

And what poses they are! Gundstrom elaborates on one, the inner thigh hold. “In this one, you have to have 75 percent of your body weight held by your inner thighs — what they call a super man pose is one example.” Fly baby, fly. Attire is also strictly monitored — no nudity for the USPDF ladies, no thongs, no tassels, but your heels in the compulsory round rise to titty club altitudes: five inches is the minimum.

Of course, the women aren’t spending too much time on their feet. Back-bending, serpentine twirls around the pole blend into iron woman holds on the pole in most routines, the most hard core finding ways to suspend themselves by a single inner knee, or by their two hands, body at an impressive parallel with the floor far below. Songs skirt along lines well-worn by the strip club set, just watch the swear words. “They can pick any music they want, except for vulgar music – we don’t want to offend the audience,” says Gundstrom — who adds that it’s mainly women who fill the seats at USPDF events. 

Perhaps no athlete embodies the USPDF ethos better than Alethea Austin, 2010’s US pole dance champion. Austin isn’t one to shy from sexuality — her pole dancing website displays downloadable desktop patterns for her fans that feature Austin in splits that would make a body builder blush, and she’s performed with one wrist handcuffed to the pole on occasion.  

But the intense strength building regimen Austin undergoes belies the notion that she’s just a pretty ass. Her routine from this year’s national championships, performed to Guns ‘N’ Rose “Paradise City” saw Austin’s stomach “Heartland” tattoo (Midwestern and proud, she is) flip upside-down for a handheld back bend that betrays also a childhood spent in gymnastic training facilities.

Her mirrored five inchers dangle, glittering, overhead. Damn girl, damn.

US Pole Dancing Federation West Coast Regionals

Nov. 6, 7 p.m., $45-$65

Fox Theatre

2223 Broadway, Redwood City

www.uspoledance.com

 

 

 

 

Erotic Exotic Ball putting its clothes back on

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It’s a dark day for voyeurs of Dutch fetish models, mini Michael Jacksons, and lovers of spectacular: Exotic Erotic Ball and Expo 2010 has been canceled. The reason for the kibosh on this 31-year old SF tradition? Not as many people trying to get freaky this year. This from Exotic Erotic PR perv, Christopher Buttner:

The producers site a drop in ticket sales during the pivotal final days leading up to the event, plus unexpected cost overruns, [and] operational issues as the causes for cancellation. More details will be forthcoming shortly. 

The producers would like to extend their heartfelt thanks and gratitude to the contractors and entertainers who worked so hard to try and make this year’s Ball an extraordinary experience. In addition, they deeply regret causing any disappointment to those fans who have enjoyed attending the Ball as a source of entertainment and celebration of personal freedom for the past 30 years.

So maybe Ticketmaster wasn’t responsible for past years of the event’s disappointing ticket sales after all… But hey! Don’t let your whips and tassels droop, this is still the smut capital of America — we’ve got plenty more sexy events to get you through this wicked, wicked week. Wait — does this mean would-be EEB performer Ancilia Tilia needs a date this weekend? Get on that.

 

Hot sexy events October 20-26

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You thought the real Halloween parties started next weekend? Ha! Wrong on two counts.

For one, you’re in San Francisco, so you know this is gonna be a ghoul gala that leaks out into the preceding and following weeks, if not months. Two, the portal to the other world opens the 22nd, not the 31st! (silly) Luckily, you have your deranged BDSM maniacs at the SF Citadel to remind you of the fact with Chamber of Horrors. For those together enough to have assembled their monster ‘fit early, a swell party to play out this journey into another realm where “the gods of old reach out from their dark place,” according to the press release. After all, what better place to witness the chaos that will ensue than a good old-fashioned dungeon? Whips at the ready, there’s gonna be evil spirits to subdue.

Air Sex Championships

Will this be sexy? Will you learn anything from a passel of performers humping the air, licking the air, squeezing the air’s titties? This grand tradition was started by a Japanese chap bereft of solid human beings to sex up. Now people across the world pretend, solo, on-stage, to being sexing – with clothes on. But will it… turn you on? For now, let’s file under maybe, but the event warrants exploration.

Wed/20 8 p.m., $15

The Independent

628 Divisadero, SF

(415) 771-1421

www.theindependentsf.com


Anal Pleasure for Couples

Honey a little wary of rear entry? Best to leave some things to the experts. Reassure them that nothing but good will befall them at this class with Lolo Winters, sex educator, who’ll be teaching on toys, position, and pleasure. Open to all genders and orientations.

Wed/20 6-8 p.m., $20-$25

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 354-0500

www.goodvibes.com


Chamber of Horrors

Hobgoblins and naughty, naughty night horrors reign at this dungeon play party. Get the Halloween heebie-jeebies started early and get in touch with your evil side. 

Fri/22 8 p.m., $25

SF Citadel 

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-1746

www.sfcitadel.org


Steamworks Full Moon Party

Steamworks launches a new play party! How’s it going to be different from their standard showers ‘n’ sex-a-thon? DJs? A $5 off discount when you tell them about the ad on their website? Sexy full moon graphics on the flier? Does it really matter – you’re getting laid!

Fri/22-Sat/23 8 a.m., $17-55

Steamworks

2107 4th St., Berk.

(510) 845-8992

www.steamworksonline.com

 

Exotic Erotic Ball and Expo

Time for marabou, corsetry, and befeathered top hats! Exotic Erotic is back for its 31st year of SF-born and bred debauchery. This year the whole shebang is on the water at Craneway Pavilion and there will be porn star performers from across the globe (even a chance to make it with your favorite!), orgasmic bingo, the Family Stone on stage, and a slew of fine purveyors of lust capitalism at the accompanying EE Expo.

Expo: Fri/22 4 p.m.-midnight and Sat/23 noon-6 p.m., $20

Ball: Sat/23 8 p.m.-2 a.m., $79-169

Craneway Pavilion

1414 Harbour Way South, Richmond

www.exoticeroticball.com


Breast Workshop Fiesta

Because you know it’s breast cancer awareness month – why not make it breast awareness month? Talking of tricks with the titties, Femina Potens is holding a special night of boobies, starring busty starlets Maxine Holloway and Bella Rossi, whose proceeds go straight to Shanti’s Lifelines breast cancer program. Squeeze ’em, ladies. 

Mon/25 6 p.m., $7-$20 sliding scale

Femina Potens

2199 Market, SF

(415) 864-1558

www.feminapotens.org

 

Exotic Erotic’s 31st round

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Perhaps you’ve seen them around town. The neon pink fliers announcing that SF’s most gloriously trashy tradition, the Exotic Erotic Ball and Expo, beckons saucily to you this weekend (Fri/22 and Sat/23). Were you curious about the providence of the posters’ graphic design, this just in from founder-behatted cartoon character Perry Mann: “we’re very aware that it’s breast cancer month.”

Well that would explain all the boob examiners! 2010 marks Mann’s 31st year of organized orgy, which nowadays draws in around 10,000 gawkers and pervs a year for onstage sex shows by world famous porn performers, elaborate fetish costuming, ribald entertainment (“we’ve got… orgasmic bingo? I don’t know what that is,” Mann admits to me on the phone), and surprisingly serious musical guests. Sort of. This year is the Family Stone, minus Sly. “We reached out to Sly,” Mann tells me. “If he can get off his crack pipe, he’ll show.”

Mann, who started the Ball famously as a fundraiser for buddy Louis Abolafia’s Nudist Party run at the presidency, has endured his fair share of setbacks in holding the event. A venue change under fractious circumstances (there’s been a few of them over the years associated with the ball, as the East Bay Express recently reported, including complaints that organizers withhold promised prizes from contest winners) has left the EEB with a venue that’s a touch more intimate than last year’s Cow Palace: the Craneway Pavilion, which has about 15 percent less capacity as the Cow. 

A consummate promoter, its difficult to get Mann off his press release script on the phone. We don’t chat about his assertions that disappointing ticket sales in years past were due to corrupted ticket-selling websites. We do, however, manage to cover event logistics. The Pavilion is basically a large glass box on the water, which is… less than ideal? ideal? for a show full of dedicated exhibitionists. The VIP section takes the aquatic escapade to another level: guests willing to pony up the $169 get to shiver their timbers on the San Francisco Belle, a riverboat whose very girth and heft seemed to impress Mann. 

This year’s VIP performance takes on occult themes – vampires being the sex gods of 2010 that they are. Those interested in taking the ticket price plunge can find a preview of events on the Belle at sex blogger (and performer that night), Fleur De Lis SF’s account of dress rehearsals.

And for the pervs off the A-list, don’t worry gang, Exotic Erotic is nothing if not democratically-inclined. In fact, big money’s on the random hallways and corners around Craneway to be where the real action’s at – but if you’re going for the canned stuff, the stages will play host to shows by Noname Jane, Dutch fetish model Ancilia Tilia, Eden Berlin, The Men of Exotica, and the Surreal SF Devil Girls.

Ready yet? Not til you’ve got your outfit, you’re not. The Ball has an anything-goes philosophy when it comes to, well, most things – and the motto definitely extends to sartorial affairs. Past attendees have rocked Bumblebee Transformer ‘fits, every possible form of lingerie — even, Mann tells me, a functioning bathtub that housed three friends for a night. 

“The whole event is about love, it’s really all about love,” says Mann, who himself will be rocking his customary top hat tricked out with “XXXI” in honor of the event’s 31st year spelled out in diamonds. Given his hopes that this year will correct a string of lackluster lust profiteering, his next comment should be a given. 

“Not real diamonds,” he clarifies. 

 

Exotic Erotic Ball and Expo

Expo: Fri/22 4 p.m.-midnight and Sat/23 noon-6 p.m., $20

Ball: Sat/23 8 p.m.-2 a.m., $79-169 

Craneway Pavilion

1414 Harbour Way South, Richmond

www.exoticeroticball.com

 

Hot sexy events October 13-19

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Support your local sex workers! We are lucky to live in a city where those salacious somebodies that will take their kits off in the name of our pleasure and payment don’t have to lay down and take it when the man gets all censorious and grabby – lucky to live in a city where St. James’ Infirmary exists, that is. The Lusty Ladies agree, and on Sat/16 they’re holding their annual Playday for St. J’s – 16 hours of girl-on-girl-on-call for justice.

For there was a time where if you got picked up providing sex to paying customers, you got stuck. We’re talking hypodermic needles – part of a policy that used to go down in SF that forced sex workers to give up blood samples in jail for mandatory STD testing. As you can imagine, this was not always done in the most respectful of manners. Enter St. James’, founded by sex worker advocacy group COYOTE (Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics). The center holds a health clinic, trainings and support groups, hormone therapy programming, peer counseling, and oh so much more. Why on earth not head down to the Lusty to make sure our ladies – and gentlemen – of the night continue to be treated as such?

Original Plumbing Bathhouse Reception

Celebrate the notion that a photo-heavy magazine of transmen is one of the most hot publication debuts to hit the racks in 2010 – Original Plumbing’s fourth issue is out! And it features a hunky lineup of working stiffs, all of whom will be at the wine and cheese reception, open to all genders and levels of ab definition.

Thu/14 7 p.m., free

Eros

2051 Market, SF

(415) 255-4921

www.originalplumbing.com


Spanking and Paddling

Don’t worry, consoles the description of this Edu Kink offering: “there will be plenty of spanking time.” That’s because even though this is technically a class on spanking – its possible childhood associations, how to deal with them should they arise, on technique, and enjoying the spank on the receiving end – Edu Kink’s Paideia workshop series has a focus on lecture leading to experience. So prepare you that booty, naughty kids.

Fri/15 7:30-10:30 p.m., $15-$25 sliding scales

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-1746

www.edukink.org


Pink Blues Dance

What better way to amp up for Mission Control’s pansexual play party than this week’s warmup: a chance to swing those hips to the down ‘n’ out blues on the dance floor. Costumes not required, but membership to the club (and a smile) is. 

Fri/15 9 p.m.-2:30 a.m., $20-$30 members only

Mission Control 

2519 Mission, SF

www.missioncontrolsf.org 


Naked Girls Reading

What’s that chill that just ran down your spine? Are you frozen in fear by a classic ghost story, channeling the pre-Halloween vibe – or are you just naked? It could easily be both at this storytelling series that pairs the city’s sexologists and stage presences with a favorite book, a mic, and little else. Watch for the SF Ghost Society’s Elissa Fricano’s tales of personal encounters with the world beyond.

Sat/16 8 p.m., $15-$20

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, SF

(415) 225-1155

www.sexandculture.org

 

Peter Acworth’s Birthday Deviance

Everyone needs a little extra attention on their birthday. And on the founder of Kink.com’s 40th, you can only imagine what form that personal touch will take. Our town’s foremost world-class fetish porn palace opens its virtual doors to members who want to join in on the fun online. Visit www.theupperfloor.com on Saturday evening and watch live as hot doms and slaves create sexy mayhem during a celebratory dinner in Peter’s honor.

Sat/16 6:30-11 p.m., free for Kink.com members, $.25 cents per minute for nonmembers

www.theupperfloor.com


Lusty Lady Playday RXXX

That’s right, get your dirty, dirty prescription for a Saturday in the hospital – or rather, nurse’s office. The Lusties will be pulling on the rubber gloves for a day of sexual healing. Girl-on-girl action all day long, with a portion of the proceeds going to everyone’s favorite hustler health care provider, St. James’ Infirmary.

Sat/16 11 a.m.-3 a.m., $5 before 10 p.m., $10 after

The Lusty Lady

1033 Kearny, SF

(415) 391-3126

www.lustyladysf.com


How To Be a Top Presenter

Have you been there, done that when it comes to the sex education classes at Good Vibes and the host of other venues around our pervy city that like to teach on the tactics of titillation? Take your love of lovin’ to the next level with this little one-off. Dr. Charlie Glickman is sharing the secrets of his sexpert trade: how to plan and orchestrate sex ed for adults.

Tues/19 6-8 p.m., $20-$25

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0500

www.goodvibes.com

 

Hot sexy events Oct 6-12

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It’s about that time, cats and kittens. Time to start fantasizing — Halloween is just around the corner. And though everyone and their mother is going to be Stephen Colbert’s Muslim vampire this year, many will seize the autumnal juncture as an opportunity to whore it up and out – in a good way! 

After all, who doesn’t love the sexy nurses, kitties, police officers, and Snookies that stalk the city bars each year on the 31st? Look, the point is that on this day of days society indulges those that follow their dreams. May as well make it a wet dream, no? Sexy Muslim vampire it is! Oh, and here are some sexy events that’ll wet your whistle this week, with an emphasis on finding that alluring inner equilibrium.

Bawdy Storytelling

Two events this week to get you hooked into what’s happening in Dixie De La Tour’s recurring sexcapade storytelling series: one, a best-of edition featuring writers and comedians from around town (Wed/6) and two, a back alley Lit Crawl edition of Bawdy that’ll have Clarion Alley echoing with the retelling of disastrous dates and tales of unconventional canoodling.  

Bawdy Storytelling: Graphic Confessions

Wed/6 8 p.m., $10

The Blue Macaw

2565 Mission, SF

www.bawdystorytelling.com


Bawdy in the Alley

Sat/9 8:30-9:30 p.m., free

Clarion Alley between 17th and 18th St., SF

www.bawdystorytelling.com


Declaring Our Erotic

Jen Cross knows that erotic writing isn’t just a pleasure to read – for some, the act of writing down passions can be a cathartic, even therapeutic event. That’s why she’s offering this eight-week class for survivors of LGBT sexual trauma. The syllabus promises a safe space to reconnect with your body’s desires and memories. And of course, a chance to write some hot, dirty smut. 

First class Thu/7 6:30-9 p.m., $225-250

email jennifer@writingourselveswhole.com for details


Urge

Put the Citadel’s 5,400 square feet of devious dungeon to use to use for the whipping, slapping, burning, and loving of young loins – hot young male whippersnappers will be the only ones invited to this get together of BDSM blowout. 

Fri/8 9 p.m.- 1:30 a.m., $25

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-1746

www.sfcitadel.org


Steven Saylor

Love, sex, and intrigue in the palace! But this ain’t no corset-buster. No, Steven Saylor’s new book Empire is a males-only play space – the plotline follows Emperor Nero’s eunuch lover Sporus, who becomes the hottest piece of tranny ass on the Forum. Let Saylor woo you into a new love of history at this talk about his latest historical tome of carnal knowledge.

Mon/11 7:30 p.m., free

A Different Light Bookstore

489 Castro, SF

(415) 431 0891 

www.adl-books.blogspot.com


Grizzly’s Bullwhips by the Bay

Don’t worry baby, they got loaner whips. Put your lusted one’s mind at ease by polishing up your whipping skills at this bimonthly peer skill share class by the sea. It’s about safety, kids! After all, when the singletails start flying, you can’t always guarantee that Grizzly, the organizer of the get-togethers, will be there with spare protective goggles to guard those bedroom eyes.

Sun/10 11:30 a.m.- 1 p.m., free

Southeast of the Golden Gate Park Polo Fields, SF

www.laughingbear.org

 

Body Love for Better Sex

How would you spread your legs if you weren’t worried about chunky inner thighs? Body anxiety can be the nemesis of good sex –  but Virgie Tovar, fat positive sex educator, is here to help you titter about Miss Body Anxiety until she drops out of school due to social anxiety. Which is to say, help you feel as pretty as you are. Aww. No more naked nervousness, bam.

Mon/11 6-8 p.m., $20-25

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0500

www.goodvibes.com

 

 

NSFR(estaurant): My dinner with Dixie

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All photos by Benjy Feen

I had a blind date with Dixie De La Tour, but I wasn’t nervous. If all else failed, at least she would bring stories to tell. And how – De La Tour is the founder and emcee of Bawdy Storytelling, a randy live series with two events next week (Wed/6 and Sat/9) that will bring writers, comedians, and normal folk-like to the stage to share corset-busting sexcapades with an audience of vicarious pervs.

“I don’t know how this got to be my life,” says Dixie, now installed across the restaurant table from me behind a glass of sweet tea, wearing a dashing fedora and magnetic waves of dyed red hair. Her blue eyes have the intent gaze in them that you can see on people that know how to hold the attention of the room. “I don’t have a degree in it like every other pervert in this town.”

It is true that De La Tour seems to have lucked out on the manner in which she makes her money. By day, she scouts scammers at Fling.com, a national dating site for casual hookups. Perhaps she’s a natural fraud-finder – the woman’s spent a life facilitating honest, fun sexual encounters. She’s also a contributor at She Loves Sex, a collection of blogs about all things sexual related to women, told in a knowledgeable women’s voice. For the site, De La Tour recently interviewed Rebecca, a soccer mom from Florida who has started a successful chain of swinger’s parties in between PTA meetings and classes towards her master’s in public relations. 

Bawdy Storytelling, started four years ago, runs through a different theme each month. Adderall Diaries writer Stephen Elliott and that webmaster savior of the perpetually broke gadabout, Johnny Funcheap will be spinning yarns at next week’s Litquake edition of Bawdy (Wed/6), which actually is not themed at all, but rather a collection of the all-star lineup’s “best true stories.”

Maybe she’s got no degree, but Dixie does have a history in the psychology of human sexual relations. Over her rum cake — and to the passing interest of our server — De La Tour tells me that she got the party started at the first Kinky Salon XXX edition. Well c’mon Dixie, story time. She obliges. 

Dixie De La Tour fires up the Bawdy crowd

Having transplanted from the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia and an unsatisfying heterosexual monogamous relationship with a bookie, De La Tour was in her element in late ’90s San Francisco. “You know that girl whose always down for the sex party? People would call me up and I’d be like, I’m there!” She became the doorperson for the original Kinky Salon parties at Mission Control, back in the days when the get-togethers were more “salon” and less “kinky” – there hadn’t been sex, at least as acknowledged by the party planners, for the first few Kinkys.

But one month, founders Polly and Scott decided to change the nature of their get-together. De La Tour recalls a woman arriving at the party who told her “I’m from New Hampshire and this is my first San Francisco sex party!” Well, by the time De La Tour had gotten off her shift and into the mix at Kinky, there was talking, there was certainly drinking, but at least explictly, no sex. 

“There was a bullhorn by the stage,” she remembers, fully in the swing of her tale. 

It is at this time that I should explain that Dixie has explained that she is herself, “not that big of an exhibitionist.” De La Tour is a facilitator, the person at the swinger’s party who loves nothing more to make introductions and get the fucking going… for others. That’s what she likes.

So back to the bullhorn. Having made the most of her time off door duty, she is a bit inebriated at this point. She takes the bullhorn and, having installed herself on stage in front of the party, booms to New Hampshire woman “Connecticut! Go have sex with that guy!” — or some such thing (having told me she is “much more interesting after two beers,” I am obliging her and my notes are a bit sparse from this point in the evening). She remembers them immediately going to have sex, although others from the night remember it differently. Good storytelling is all about the broad strokes.

But regardless, the rest is undisputed. Dixie soldiers on with the bullhorn, roaming about the club until she actually does encounter a couple copulating in the Pink Room and begins to shout very, very dirty things into the bullhorn at them. “Say my name, say you like my big dick” she shouts (“really, things that were not making very much sense,” she tells me, looking through that deadly scope of hindsight). Suddenly, couples rush into the Pink Room, and Dixie has officially started the orgy. Er, party. 

Later, she runs into the original fuckers in another room utilizing a fucking machine. She is stripped of her bullhorn, installed on said machine, and is chagrined (remember, not a big exhibitionist) when the tables are turned and the woman from this couple begins to yell her name into the bullhorn. “Yeah, you like my big dick, Dixie?” Partygoers rush into the room to see the performance, and aid in her enjoyment of machine. She is eventually brought to climax when a woman Eskimo kisses her. 

This is told with a smile, and by the end of it, we notice our server is frozen in her rounds of filling water glasses. “What on earth are you two talking about?” she says, giggling. But this is San Francisco, and as she is clearly intrigued, Dixie hands her a card that has all the Bawdy Storytelling events inscribed on its back. 

After our (professionally inclined) date, I feel as though I have met someone very special, someone who has the cojones to nurture a community that often stays behind closed doors. De La Tour tells me you can learn a lot from hearing a person talk for ten minutes, perhaps more than you can learn having a good time with them at a swinger’s party. 

And the connection is contagious. De La Tour started Bawdy Storytelling as a “coffee klatch for pervs,” where people would gather about the table and talk about how last night’s Kinky Salon went for them. Soon others wanted to sit in on the talks around the table, which led to Bawdy’s current public incarnation. And then everyone wanted to share a story, which led to Bawdy’s set program of four to six speakers a night, “so that people could see there was a set lineup and they weren’t on it,” De La Tour tells me. “Somebody’s always walking up to me and saying hey I got one for you!” This last line enunciated with a pointed finger and an intensification of that blue-eyed stare.

How nice to get sexuality out into the open. How nice to find meaning and simpatico in our sex. How nice to be Dixie De La Tour.

 

Bawdy Storytelling Graphic Confessions

Wed/6 8 p.m., $10

The Blue Macaw

2565 Mission, SF

www.bawdystorytelling.com

www.litquake.org


Lit Crawl: Bawdy in the Alley

Sat/9 8:30-9:30 p.m., free

Clarion Alley between 17th and 18th St., SF

www.bawdystorytelling.com

www.litquake.org

 

Hot sexy events Sept 29 – Oct 5

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With Folsom’s fumes still coming out of your pores thanks to this week’s weather’s surprise cameo by Death Valley, you are perhaps wondering the best spot to get hot and sweaty with your newfound best trick. We got you covered — as we do each week here in the schvitzy dungeon of the SFBG stables. Read on for porn parodies, artistic foreplay, and techno-free touching.

 

Naked Men’s Sketch

Eros’ website says that the NMS that takes over the community room in the sex club each Wednesday is all about fostering artistic development. But it’s not too many life drawing classes that require that all involved take a turn up on the nudie dais. Could it be that art here is not defined by the charcoal sketch on the pad in front of you? If you invite your favorite David to partake in the creative carnality on option in the rest of the club, you will probably be forgiven. 

Wed/29 7-9 p.m., free

Eros

2051 Market, SF

(415) 864-3767

www.erossf.com


Arse Elektronika

Sex in space. Space in sex. Sex in coffins, fucking machines, digital sex toys – Arse Elektronika is a three day festival of what it means to be human in this digital age. And if they want you to dress like a 1950s B-movie sci-fi character in which to do it all, so be it. The weekend kicks off with a parties, one featuring said coffin (in which couples can be “buried” and do what they like in front of the coffin’s installed night vision cam), and continues with lectures all day on topics from Creating Spaces for Sex, taught by Carol Queen, and Blowing Your Load: The Office Shooting Spree as Sexual Metaphor. Something for everyone!

Thur/30-Sun/3, $20 day pass – $50 weekend pass

Times and locations vary

www.monochrom.at


Kiss

An adult social club with nary a trace of techno is a rare event at Mission Control, where Burners often flock for some radical free love in the playa off-season. But not so at Kiss, where pre-screened women and couples get their play started on the dancefloor before they progress to one of the MC’s be-pillowed, bedazzled romper rooms.

Sat/2 10 p.m., RSVP required, see website for prices

Mission Control

2519 Mission, SF

www.clubkiss.us


Bent XXX Parody

Cue the over-exaggerated moans and overdone dialogue – this month’s BDSM young people play party, Bent, is taking on the parody. The theme for the party this weekend plays into the penchant for pornos to spoof – adding a little ribbing at Twilight or The Office‘s expense in with the sensual sexy play. To this end, hosts Stefanos and Chey will be holding a “Bent’s Got Talent!” face-off, where competitors are encourage to show off their deep-throating, to ribbon-dancing to zither-playing skills. 

Fri/1 9 p.m.-1 a.m., $20

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-1746

www.stefanosandchey.com/bent.html


Ms. Leather SF 2010 Competition

Since 1987 when Shadow Morton took home the prize for best dyke in skins, the Ms. Leather SF Competition has been turning heads and cracking whips — in fact, three of those years, Ms. SF has gone on to win the International Ms. Leather sash (2009’s winner Mollena Williams among them). Who will be the lucky womyn this time around? The three contestants are all upstanding members of the SF sex community, so judges might have a tough time figuring out who comes out on top.

Sat/2 6:30 p.m., $10-20

Hotel Whitcomb

1231 Market, SF

www.mssfleather.org


OMG – Multiple Gushing G-Spot Orgasms

Tallulah Samis, somatic sexologist comes to tell you just how to achieve that Herbal Essence commercial look. Of course, it’s not just about great hair. She’s talking “exquisite Yoni (vagina) massage techniques,” for you and/or a friend!

Mon/4 6-8 p.m., $20-25

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0400

www.goodvibes.com

 

Getting our rocks off: a historical perspective

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San Francisco is waiting for its Boogie Nights. Unbeknownst to Hollywood, our fair berg was the infant creche of hardcore pornography, spawning a subculture of porn theaters that thrived despite police harassment and political pressure.

We were number one! Luckily, a few brave men are resurrecting our porn golden age money shot – read on for a first look at documentary The Smut Capital of America and an interview with the director himself, Michael Stabile.


Smut Capital is by no means Stabile’s first porn rodeo. The co-editor of Gay Porn Blog, he and Smut Capital editor-cinematographer Ben Leon are both mainstays in the SF gay porn scene. The two were researching their upcoming doc on the life of gay smut powerhouse Falcon Studios founder Chuck Holmes when Stabile came across a New York Times article that inspired the title of their new project, which is a work in progress for which the team is fundraising in order to release the finished film in 2011.

“Until then I’d always thought of it as an industry that emerged from LA, but San Francisco was actually the city that birthed the porno theater. It was the beginning of the sexual revolution, and in a lot of ways these directors were documenting this newly found freedoms.” Stabile attributes the renaissance to hippie women “with really no hangups,” a progressive zeitgeist that had seized the city in the late sixties and early seventies, and film processing studios that were willing to develop sexually explicit material. By the era’s zenith in 1972, there were porno film theaters in neighborhoods across the city.

Not that everyone was down to get all that action on screen. Dianne Feinstein, first in her post as the city’s first female president of the Board of Supervisors and then as SF’s first female mayor, led a crusade focused on cleaning up the Tenderloin, which incidentally included sweeping the neighborhood free of its supply of adult movie houses. What ensued was an orchestrated harassment policy that different porn theaters dealt with in different ways.

Established theaters, Stabile says, actually benefited from the police and media persecution. “They’d come in with cameras, it’d be on the five o clock news and it would be great for them,” he says. “Advertising was very limited at the Chronicle. Feinstein would come in with her troops and would detail everything that was going on. Suddenly there was a way to talk about it, so people would flood into the theaters.” The Mitchell Brothers grew so adept at playing the cat and mouse game, he says, that they would post Feinstein’s office number on their marquee under the words “call for a good time.”

But not everyone prospered. Smaller theaters that depended on a few workers to operate, like Alex DeRenzy’s Screening Room, suffered when police would take key staffers on pointeless joyrides around town before booking them on charges of vice crime. Eventually factors like these, and more importantly the advent of video porn in the 1980s pulled the adult film business down to Los Angeles.

The move shifted the purpose of sex films away from their original role in the Sexual Revolution. Says Stabile “People were doing it here because they enjoyed it, because they wanted their own sexualities represented. It’s not like that in LA for the most part, where even a lot of the gay studios are owned by straight men looking to turn a profit.”

But don’t worry, the party’s not over. One of Stabile’s main goals with the film is not just to highlight good sex gone by, but that which cums and goes even today. When asked whether SF is still a presence in the world of porn, he had no equivocation. “Its one of the great untold stories in the local media – San Francisco has a huge porn presence. Raging Stallion, Falcon, Hot House – seven of the top ten gay porn studios are located up here, there’s Kink.com, porn writers like Violet Blue,” he says.

It appears that the tech savvy and sexual freedom that led to our capital crowning are still alive and well on these city streets. Phew! Now you may now go back to your regularly scheduled local porn browsing.

Hot sexy events Sept 22-28

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What’s going on in sexy San Francisco this week? Everything. End of column. Jokes! As a matter de facto, however, Folsom Street Fair has unfurled its chaps from its carry-on from Detroit and would already be generating some friction between its thighs (were they not a crotchless affair), the amount of sexy parties its been stirring up from SoMa to NoMa to Ma and beyond. After all, with all the fresh meat on the street this week, it seems a shame to relegate all the naughtiness to Sunday’s main event. Here’s a smattering of what’s going on in terms of pre-planned bacchanalia.

 

Lesbo Retro: A Dyke Porn Retrospective

Sexy founder of Harlem Shake Burlesque (and one of SFBG’s 2001 Sexiest People in the Bay Area ass pat) Simone de la Getto performs at this retrospective of films of lustful ladies, by lustful ladies. Shar and Jackie of S.I.R. Productions take you down this memory lane of film clips. Plus, free pizza!

Weds/22 8-9:30 p.m., $10

The Women’s Building

3543 18th St., SF

www.gv-ixff.org


Indie Erotic Film Festival

A whole Castro Theatre full of San Franciscans watching other San Franciscans get it on in homemade short films? And it’s the same week as Folsom? Sounds like a recipe for sweet, sweet trouble. Peaches Christ and her fab friends and Carol Queen will be on hand to add some levity to the goings-on – and to hand out the $1,500 for the best clip.

Thurs/23 7-8 p.m., $10

Castro Theatre

429 Castro, SF

www.gv-ixff.org


How To Eat a Peach: Pleasuring Her

Midori teaches the method for sucking out the sweetest juices (fruit props will be involved, natch) at this workshop for all those that love loving the ladies.

Sat/25 8- 10 p.m., $20

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-1746

www.sfcitadel.org


Slut!

Dykey sluts, slutty dykes – you too deserve your own Folsom party! Host Oxana Olsen of Mall Madness hosts this hawt dance party, where prizes will be awarded for best uniform, leather outfit, and fetish wear.

Sat/25 9 p.m., free

The Lexington Club

3464 19th< St., SF

(415) 863-2052

www.lexingtonclub.com

 

Perverts Put Out

 

Oh how we love the words: as seen on Fox News! An onstage celebration of all things demonstrably slutty, this sporadic series will feature performances by Meliza Bañales, Greta Christina, Stephen Elliot, Robert Lawrence, Thomas Roche, Lori Selke, and horehound stillpoint. It may well be more than enough sexual confessional, monolouging, and live smut to satisfy for the evening.

Sat/25 7:30 p.m., $10-15 sliding scale

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, SF

(415) 255-1155

www.simonsheppard.com/pervertsputout.html


Magnitude

Folsom Street’s official dance party – because why ever would you romp about in the sunshine? Hit the floor to work up a froth to the tunes of DJ Manny Letham. Stay later for the Aftershock party to ensure you’ll be a hot mess for the Fair the next day! ($30-40 www.thediscosf.com)

Sat/25 10 p.m.-4 a.m., $80

525 Harrison, SF

www.folsomstreetfair.org


Pussyfest

Here kitty, kitty, kitty! Kinky Salon’s cat-themed play party is here, so grab your partner (no singles allowed), fluff your whiskers, and swing over to the cat fight.

Sat/25 9 p.m., $25-30 (members only)

Mission Control

2519 Mission, SF

www.kinkysalon.com


Folsom Street Fair

The grandaddy of all public, streetside leather events assumes its five-block throne in SoMa, where leather bars have been located since The Tool Box’s grand arrival in 1961. Join the 400,000 strong who will be frolicking at the third largest street fair in Cali.

Sun/26 11 a.m.- 6 p.m., $7 suggested donation

Folsom between Seventh and 12th Sts., SF

www.folsomstreetfair.org

Fleur De Lis SF shares her spanks

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Sex blogger Fleur De Lis SF is the friend whose gossip makes you weak in the knees. We published excerpts of an interview with her in this week’s Hot Sluts! Sex Issue, but the full text frontal was so juicy, we giving it to you (hard), as well as some salacious shots from her first domantrix session with the magnetic Lady Ripplee Severin. Fleur is your girl who recounts (to your squeals) stories of meeting men at the grocery store salad bar, only to be ravished by them that night after a day of dirty emails exchanged at the office. The one who is up for any sexual frisson, pleasure, situation, from Craig’s List Casual Encounters to BDSM clubs. What – you don’t have one of those? Well lucky you, Fleur Di Lis SF likes to share. The mysterious online personality — who professes to be a white collar wage slave during the day — is posting her illustrated voyages throughout the city’s sexual underground on the regular.

 

San Francisco Bay Guardian: How long have you been writing the blog and what inspired you to start it?

Fleur De Lis SF: I posted my first blog on August 6, 2010, a Friday.  The inspiration came from this glorious sexy city.  I went to a sex club and realized that SF has a huge sexual subculture.  So, I just started to explore every aspect of it.  It evolved into a collection of true stories.  It is all non-fiction and yes it all really happened.  In essence SF inspired me and so Fleur De Lis SF was created.  

SFBG: Can you give me a brief description of yourself and how you got involved in sex writing?

FDLSF: I did not ever intend to write about sex.  I sort of stumbled upon it in a way. I am an educated, funny, smart and sexual woman  I have always had an active sex life and I used to entertain my friends with my sexcapade stories.  I am a story teller and so I started to write them down just the way I would tell them aloud.  I realized that my stories would probably entertain more people than just my friends.  Mainly, I want to educate people to embrace sex and sexuality.  I want people to accept who they are and who are we are sexually is a huge part of who we are as people.

SFBG: Do you think there are a lot of misconceptions about women and sex?  

FDLSF: Yes, because I think the misconception is that women don’t want to have sex as much as men.  Women are just as sexual as men and they should own it. 

SFBG: Do you feel that, by talking about sex so openly, you’re making a statement?

FDLSF: I talk about sex openly because it’s nothing to be ashamed of.  Our society does not give people a platform to talk about sex.  Sex stories are always a secret, a taboo, something you hide.  Women should be proud about being sexual that is my statement  there is nothing wrong with being an independent, smart, sexual woman.  

SFBG: What are some of your favorite sexy things in the Bay Area right now?

FDLSF: That would encompass a lot of things.  To me SF is sexy in general.  The people, the vibration, the art and the sexual current that burns brightly throughout it.  SF welcomes every walk of life to be sexual and it provides you with a variety of venues to choose from. 

SFBG: As an observer of the local sex scene, what do you think overall? Is this a really sexy place to be right now? 

FDLSF: I think San Francisco is by far one of the sexiest cities in the world.  SF makes it ok for people to be different and doesn’t judge them along the way.  I think it is my great privilege to live in this beautiful city.  I have just scratched the sexual surface of San Francisco and I can’t wait to see more. 

Peep our hot sluts!

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You’ve read about them in this week’s Sex Issue cover story, now see what our favorite sleaziest, easiest, and just plain deliciously sexy people, places, and things look like in the slideshow above. 

Hot sexy events Sept 15-21

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Enough of the silicon and studio lighting! Sex in San Francisco just isn’t that scripted – or is it? Good Vibrations put its yearly call out to amateur filmmakers to turn in their own seven minutes and under blue films. Straight, gay, perverted, vanilla, the rainbow of oohs and aahs will show you what’s really going on in your neighbor’s bedrooms (the hots ones, obviously). But wait, that’s next week. This week, you can attend the IXFF kick off party at El Rio, where clips of queer hipster porn will be showing and burlesque babies will shimmy and shake for your viewing pleasure. Look at it this way, if you’re going to be squirming in anticipation, you might as well have a cheap Pabst Blue Ribbon in hand.

 

Bawdy Storytelling: Cheapskate Sex & Cut-rate Coitus

He made you pay 25 cents for the bathroom vending machine condom? Jesus! Sometimes the sex is so cheap, you roll off the mattress and feel the urge to decry your date’s tightwad tentacles to the world at large. Oh girl. Lucky you, because monthly series Bawdy Storytelling is featuring nothing but the least-fine and dine at this week’s installation. Contact host Dixie De La Tour and wax on your tale of woe, she’ll grab you your moment in the spotlight.

Weds/15 8 p.m., $10

The Blue Macaw

2565 Mission, SF

(415) 920-0577

www.bawdystorytelling.com


Rough Sex

Wanna wrassle? Carol Queen and Robert Morgan Lawrence guide you through the times when you wanna reach out and choke someone (lovingly, and with consent). This females-only workshop will cover rape fantasies, ravishing, and unstylized BDSM play.

Fri/17 8-10 p.m., $10

The Women’s Building

3543 18th St., SF

(415) 431-1180

www.theexiles.org


Master’s Den: Casino

Female submissives and male dominants are invited to pony up to the table at this blackjack and Texas Hold ‘Em event, where subs can work on their service-providing skills and doms have the chance to up their “Den Dollar” holdings. The night is part of a trio of events leading up to sex power couple Stefanos and Chey’s “Auction” night. 

Fri/17 7:15 p.m.- 1 a.m., $25-35

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-1746

www.sfcitadel.org


Hubba Hubba Revue Four Year Anniversary

Four years of one of SF’s hottest troupe of betassled performers, monkey men, and wisecracks galore? My, they’re aging well. Celebrate Hubba Hubba’s commitment to sexy, strippy excellence by attending the show they’re purporting to be their biggest ever, starring all the sparkling sequins we’ve grown so fond of: Honey Lawless, Bunny Pistol, Alotta Boutte, and so, so much more. 

Fri/17 9 p.m.- 2 a.m., $12-15

DNA Lounge

375 11th St., SF

(415) 626-1409

www.hubbahubbarevue.com


Hot Rods and Lube Jobs

Rev your engines, ladies and gentlemen. This fundraiser for the Center of Sex and Culture capitalizes on all the fantasies generated by those well greased photos in auto magazines – you know, the ones with boobies up on the hood and whatnot. Pole dancing performances by Kitty Me-OW, and an appearance by Jiz Lee are featured. Exhibitionists encouraged to drop the top and cruise through.

Sat/18 8 p.m.- 1 a.m., $40-50

Marty’s Motors

10929 San Pablo, El Cerrito

(415) 246-5477

www.sexandculture.org


Indie Erotic Film Festival Kick Off Party

Because you can’t just bam, start off with the main event! No, some one needs to ease you into it, give you some hipster queer porn as a tease, perhaps a couple of burlesque dancers stripping down to their pasties. Next week will be the actual IXFF, patience child. 

Sat/18 9 p.m., $7

El Rio

3158 Mission, SF

(415) 282-3325

www.gv-ixff.org

 

Hot sexy events Aug 18-24

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Two words to understand why sex at Burning Man requires some amount of pre-playa study: alkaline dust. You do not want the stuff getting in while you do, lemme tell ya. So it is a very, very nice thing that Pink, one of Mission Control’s pansexy sex parties, is providing a primer on playa pussy (Fri/20). Subjects covered in the course? How to look for sexy in the barely clothed insta-city, tips for romping through the heat and psychedelia, and the importance of spray bottles when you’re getting with that neon fur-clad bunny you met by the ice stand.

 

Queer, Poly, and Under 30

So, what’s that like? Apparently, enough are interested in the successful maneuverings in the world of polyamory by the under-30 set that the Center for Sex and Culture planned a panel on the subject. Your experts? Among others, Jiz Lee, genderqueer porn star; Allison Moon, former mayor of Burning Man’s Camp Beaverton’s Home for Wayward Girls, and moderator Reid Mihalko, sex-help web guru. 

Thurs/19 7-9 p.m., $10 suggested donation

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, SF

(415) 255-1155 

www.sexandculture.org


Spunk

You know us youngsters, always listening to them iPod contraptions. Well now there’s a way for the gay men among us to shuffle up the tunes and their partners at the same time. I’m talking about Spunk, the weekly party for 18-29 year old members at Eros, which promises that the evening’s soundtrack will be comprised of “music most often heard on ipods, and swapped among friends.” Mmmm racy vagueness… 

every Thursday 4 p.m.- 12 a.m., $8

Eros 

2051 Market, SF

(415) 255-4921 

www.erossf.com


Pre-Pink Playa Sex Playshop

Pay good attention to your teachers – Doctor Friendly and Miss Pringle know what they’re talking about when it comes to Black Rock booty. Stay after the course for a little pre-fest warmup: the Pink party is on directly after. Come gussied up in next week’s costume to inject an extra hit of playa pizazz.

Fri/20 9-10:15 p.m., $20-30 members only

Mission Control 

2519 Mission, SF

www.missioncontrolsf.org


The Mystery and Seduction of Electro Play

Lady Ripplee Severin has this to say about her first, electrifying BDSM experience: “I found myself seduced and lured to the sound, sent and feel of this visceral form of BDSM play. The first time that violet wand touched my skin, I knew then I was hooked.” She sure sells the shock, no? Bring your electrical device if you’re well-versed in this kind of play – and curious bottoms, come prepared to be turned on. 

Sat/21 6-8 p.m.

Email BigPinkHouseSF@gmail.com for location and price

www.soj.org/calendar

 

Keeping It Hot in an LTR

It sounds like a sexy sportscar, no? But Lisa Skye Carle is actually using “LTR” to refer to a “long term relationship” – shhh don’t let the secret get out! Sometimes, the fact that you and your sweetie have been together forever can seem like a fact you want to forget in the bedroom. But it just doesn’t have to be like that. This course promises to show you lust and laviciousness, even in eyes you know as well as your own. 

Tues/24 6-8 p.m., $25-30

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0400

www.goodvibes.com

 

The Eyes Have It/Swap It Out!

So you’ve got your Folsom Street Fair outfit picked out, but that black eyeliner is hard to apply! And come to think of it, the black platforms you have aren’t quite the same black as your bustier and cape… man, something just isn’t right. No worries, my leather love, the Citadel’s got you covered. Bethie Bee is presenting a two part course on makeup and fashion this week. Makeup is Tues, when basic looks are covered, and on Wednesday a clothing swap is being held to make sure you’re fly for the Fair.

Tues/24 8-10 p.m., $20

Weds/25 7:30-9:30 p.m., free if you bring 5 items or more

SF Citadel 

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-1746

www.sfcitadel.org

 

Reading Hef for the articles

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“Did you see the film? Are you one of the ones who thinks it was biased?” So begins my phone interview with Briggitte Berman, director of the new documentary Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist, Rebel. Her movie, (which Dennis Harvey will review in this week’s SFBG) has been criticized for being an overly laudatory look at the life of the man who’s sparked a thousand sexual hegemonies, though few would deny that Berman’s put together an entertaining ride. But enough about cinematic merits. Did she get loose at the Playboy mansion while filming? What are those things like for a woman actually wearing clothes?

Wrong question. “I don’t like big parties. I don’t go to big parties. I am a film maker,” Bergman replies, stiffly. 

Now, were I composing a piece on the Sultan of Smut, Hefner’s bacchanals would be one of the first places I’d hit to get background — even if that film, as Berman is quick to specify, seeks to examine not “merely” Hef’s personal life so much as the social legacy he’s created. 

And let’s be real, the man is a walking reality TV show: his personal excesses are the social legacy. Perhaps therein lies the key to the way the film shies away from the meaty dilemma at the heart of Hef. Berman just doesn’t care for the naughty bits.

After all, she clearly prefers Hef’s famously couth intellectual side. The filmmaker first came into contact with the icon via his admiration for her film on the jazz musician Bix Beiderbecke. Their acquaintance has taken place not in the grotto, but in the well-appointed Mansion dens where Hefner stages his regular film nights, screening old classics for an audience of similarly ancient chums. 

Couth Hef, gettin’ things done. Photo courtesy of Playboy Archives

This is the Hefner one reads for the articles, and it’s the one that Playboy, Activist, and Rebel makes the most of. We get to hear much about the man’s pro-integration stance (his Playboy clubs were the first mixed-race venues to host Black stand-up comedians), his crusade for women’s reproductive rights, and his battles with governmental persecution – his persistence in hiring black-listed artists for his TV shows was truly admirable. Berman catches Jesse Jackson on-screen calling Hef an activist, for chrissakes.

It’s all, like I said, really interesting, and will probably teach viewers a thing or three about the civil rights movement and precursors to the Sexual Revolution. But the key word here is precursors. When we look back on the magazine’s heyday from our queasy 21st century enlightenment, it’s plain to see all was not groovy in the land of rabbit ears. 

Which brings us to the bunny suits, the corset, heels, and floppy ear ensemble sported by the female employees of Hef’s infamous string of nightclubs. It always comes back to the bunny suits. Now, I’m not one to cry foul on the basis of corset alone – I know many a woman who gets off on having a cinched waist and four-inch spikes on her hind paws. There’s a moment in the film where Hefner is called out on a talk show by two feminists. They ask him, if the bunny suits aren’t meant to be demeaning and reductive, why doesn’t Hef strap on one of those cotton tails himself? 

His answer is unconvincing, and the women have a valid point. If Hefner was so into being more open about our sex lives, why were men never shown cavorting through the debaucherous scenes of his pictorials? “What I was trying to say quite frankly,” he shares in one of his many lengthy on-screen interviews in Playboy, Activist, and Rebel “is that sex is okay and nice girls like sex too.” Well, we all know what Hef’s “nice girl” looks like. Leaving aside all issues of body type normativity on the pages of Playboy, (we shouldn’t) is/was this really a vision of sexual freedom, or the freedom of one man to be sexual in his one, very particular way?

Berman didn’t look at this, and she should have. “I have made several documentaries about complex individuals and he is a very complex man. I didn’t make a film about dolphins. I leave that to other filmmakers,” she tells me (oh snap, The Cove, you Lisa Frank binder, you – Berman’s calling you out!). But the Hefner film differs from Berman’s other depictions of complex figures in that we already know how the person in question has colored our lives. Hef is a pop culture powerhouse, unlike Bix Beiderbecke or Artie Shaw, some of Berman’s previous targets.

So it’s not enough to give token opposition air time to one or two Boomer feminist thinkers who will merely tell us the same things we already know about disrespectful imagery and the like. For me, they didn’t come close to countering Gene Simmons telling the camera that women are “more sexually disconnected” because our genitals aren’t rubbing against our pants leg 24/7. Scenes with Dr. Ruth notwithstanding, it was time for Berman to roll out someone who understands the value of what Hef did, but also someone who could critique his methods in a way that’s constructive to the generations that are not scandalized by that Marilyn Monroe centerfold in Playboy’s debut issue. 

Before we hung up, I had one more query for Berman. “Does Hef get it when people called him misogynistic? Does he see what they taking issue with?” 

“If you ask me whether he has a sense,” she began. “I suggest you ask him that. The totality of who Mr. Hefner is – no film can ever reveal that. Sometimes the person him or herself doesn’t know that.”

But at the ripe old age of 84, one would like to think Mr. Hefner would be working on it. Berman could have spent her time on this film getting her hands a little dirty. She could have asked Hef to consider how he might have constructed the imagery of his empire – gasp! — differently. Now that would be some good reality TV. 

 

Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist, and Rebel starts Fri/20 at Lumiere Theatre and Shattuck Cinemas

 

Hot sexy events August 11-17

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It’s nice to see a couple of homegrown boys cinching their ties to their community. Dan and JD of Two Knotty Boys make some of the city’s more evocative bondage scenes – scroll through the galleries on their website for various visions of unrestrained restrained beauty, like two Manic Panic red heads impelled by the boys’ handiwork to assume an intimate “cuddle.” It’s this kind of imaginative use of ropes – they also do a series of “decorative bondage” in which corsets, bras, panties, and even dresses are crafted onto models by tightly pulled knots and loops – that make them the perfect teachers of the art. Couples especially are invited to their class at Good Vibrations this week (Wed/11): just remember to bring your ropes and you’re bound for inspiration.

 

 

Sex Bondage

Learn how to tie in furniture, vibrators, and more to your rope bondage play in this two hour workshop by SF’s good old boys, Dan and JD. The class is meant to be a serious, but humorous look at how you can aspire to the Two Knotty Boys’ level of corded mastery.

Wed/11 6-8 p.m., $25-30

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0500

www.goodvibes.com


Sex Tapes for Seniors

Finally, a stage show about how those hot feelings south of of your control top don’t cease when you hit 60. Mario Cossa’s world premier plot takes us to Shambala Springs retirement home, where a group of sexually diverse couples are filming hot, wrinkly scenes of lust – to the chagrin of their peers and adult offspring. Not explicit by any means, the show is nonetheless a comic exploration of the bump and grind in the golden years.

Fri/13 (through Sun/22) 8 p.m., $25-40

Victoria Theater

2961 16th St., SF

(800) 838-3006

www.stfsproductions.com


San Fran Sexy Zine Launch

Before Kinky Salon takes a well deserved six week break, won’t you grab your partner (or single girlfriends) and head to the party for their new printed smut, San Fran Sexy? Here’s hoping it’s as successful as the city’s last licentious launch, the trans mag Original Plumbing. The first hour of the night celebrates the zealous zine and afterwards all the carnal cavorting the party is known for takes center stage. Ah, illiteration… 

Sat/14 9 p.m., $25 members only

Mission Control

2519 Mission, SF

www.kinkysalon.com


Iron Dom Contest (Updated: Correction! The Iron Dom competition is actually scheduled for Sat/20)

We’ve all played this game before. You’re stuck on a desert island – what three things would you need to create the bondage scene of your dreams? If you’re a candidate for top honors in Domina’s contest this Saturday, you won’t be picky – the point is to craft the best possible BDSM situation you can from what you’re given in terms of props (DIY castoffs) and partner (enthusiastic, yes. Your gender/sexual proclivity of choice, possibly not). Do you have what it takes to be the next Iron Dom? Kitchen Stadium – er, the Citadel is waiting to see. All proceeds go to the Somona County AIDS Food Bank.

Sat/14 doors 2:30 p.m., contest starts 5 p.m., $20-25

SF Citadel

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-1746

www.sfcitadel.org


Big

Stroke your hand seductively over your load of love – that belly’s getting you laid tonight! Particularly if you lope over to The Stud, where South Bay’s hottest chubby chase session is relocating for the evening. Skinny minnies out there? Remember, the bigger they come, the harder they come. Get you a fattie, stat.

Sun/15 6 p.m.-12 a.m., 

The Stud

399 Ninth St., SF

(415) 863-6623

www.studsf.com


Use Your Words: Hot and Sexy Talk

Can Tina Horn talk you into sexy time? The queer BDSM porn star would sure like to try. And it’s only right to let her – after all, Horn is facilitating this workshop so that you beatimous self can grab their reins of your voicebox to take your love making to new heights. It’s called dirty talk, y’all: get some.

Tues/17 6-8 p.m., $25-30

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0500

www.goodvibes.com

A different lit: Another kind of Castro sex store

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“It’s really one of the only places in the Castro that isn’t focused on drinking or shopping,” says events coordinator Oscar Raymundo of his book nook on the neighborhood’s main drag, A Different Light. Ambling down Castro Street, one really doesn’t see too much geared towards the intellectual pursuit – punnily-named beauty salons, cheap bars, and spendy restaurants are far more evocative of the enclave’s milieu. Raymundo would be the first to admit, however, that the bookstore where he works deals in a theme that plays a central role in Castro life: sexuality, and the varying ways in which the LGBT community lives the theme.

Inside the Light, you see the true meaning of this last sentence. A bin of DVDs cheerfully promising vivid anal sex scenes at quite reasonable prices. Evocative postcards, prints on the wall – and for the more literary minded among us, the books themselves. Raymundo says that A Different Light attempts to find “the stories that aren’t told as often. A lot of books fall into this Chelsea, West Hollywood kind of scene – we want to find the stories that are more off the beaten track.”

So for those that are looking for a less mainstream version of gay sex, there is a chapter here for you. Tales of love in the urban rural south, the vagaries of a more-or-less polygamous marriage. There is lesbian lit as well, how-tos for a healthy, sex-positive life like The Ethical Slut and The Bottoming Book. Hell, should everything in A Different Light be considered fodder for lust and liaison, the store has tales for even the most esoteric of arousals: a volume of Harry Potter, captured on audio for to make possible the most effusive sort of literary enjoyment. 

Raymundo says that the store wants to be considered a sort of “community hub,” a sentiment that is fostered by a steady stream of authors that make their way to the small store for readings and signings of books by grateful fans. America’s favorite drag queen appeared here earlier in the year to promote Workin’ It: RuPaul’s Guide to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Style (sans “face,” to the consternation of fans who had lined up around the block to bask in her bleached blonde light), and recent appearances have included Axel Ironrod, creator of Tarquin and Paul, the studly protagonists of Ironrod’s series Leather Masters and Slaves, as well as David Jedeikin, who talked about his book Wander the Rainbow, a self published account of the author’s foray through the sex tourism capitals of the world (sort of like Eat, Pray, Love without the womenfolk or aestheticism.)

A favorite event of the event coordinator himself? Raymundo harkens back to the day when Aiden Shaw, “the most highly paid male porn star of the ’90s,” lent his spark to A Different Light upon the release of the actor’s fourth memoir. “He was surprising, really eloquent,” Raymundo says. 

Johnnie Waters ups the freaky celeb factor at his A Different Light author signing

Of course, reality TV hosts and porn stars do not a “community hub” make. To this end, A Different Light is partnering with the Magnet, the SF AIDS Foundation gallery-lounge around the corner from the bookstore whose lobby offers free Internet access and a chance for neighborhood gay men to connect on matters besides $2 well drinks and $200 designer denim. The two organizations have created a bi-monthly book club (second and fourth Tuesdays of the month 7:30 p.m. at the Magnet) to dish on the stories that come to life within the walls of A Different Light. Again, still sexy. Most of the selections to date have been from authors making stops in the bookstore: John Waters, dashing through with his odd little ode to those that made him how he be, Role Models, made a stop through, and next week the gang’ll be discussing Insignificant Others, a novel of the unraveling of a polygamous Boston couple (those exist?) by Stephen McCauley.

 

Upcoming author appearance:

Del Shores and the cast of TV’s Sordid Lives

Fri/13 7 p.m., free

A Different Light

489 Castro, SF

(415) 431-0891

www.adol-books.blogspot.com

 

Hot sexy events Aug 4-10

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The ocean breezes toss your hair haphazardly, whipping it from side to side for that perfect Saturday morning tousled look. Man that wind –  or is that actually from all the mid-air flogging? At thiis peer workshop, you better watch out for the safety of your earlobes. A feller named Jonathan Eros (who often goes by his Burning Man Ranger name of Grizzly) puts on public bimonthly get-togethers and sweet bear that he is he’ll have loaner whips on hand for newbies. Grizzly also publishes a list of appropriate and accessible flogging devices on his website – truth be told, he’s quite comprehensive. Check out his al fresco flaying if you’re interested in jumping into the whip scene, or even if you’ve got a special flick of the wrist you’d care to share with some new friends.


Ask the Doctor: Anal Sex

Should the thought of the city’s unofficial sexpert Carol Queen explaining the ins and outs of anal sex not be enough motivation for you to ease your way into this talk, heed this: they’re giving away tickets to the new Giovanni Rebisi flick about the adult Internet website business, Middle Men.

Wed/4 6:30-7:30 p.m., free

Good Vibrations

603 Valencia, SF

(415) 522-5460

www.goodvibes.com


Steamworks DJ Night

My god – did you know $5 gets you a month’s entry to the steamiest spot in the East Bay (where SF’s prude “no closed doors” rules don’t apply – be safe out there, folks!). Get your heart pumping tonight to DJ Tristan Jaxx’s sweaty beats.

Sat/7 11 p.m., $5

Steamworks

2107 Fourth St., Berk.

(510) 845-8992

www.steamworksonline.com


Bullwhips by the Bay

Like I said – outdoor whippery in the park. Protective earwear recommended.

Sun/8 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m., free

Golden Gate Park, southeast of Polo Field (see website for exact location)

www.laughingbear.com


“The Real L” Word Viewing Party

Bartenders Amy and Donny serve up cheap beer and strong drinks at the dyke dive’s weekly party to watch Showtime’s series about the hijinx of a bunch of lovely ladies in La-La Land.

Sun/8 10 p.m.-11 p.m.

Lexington Club

3464 19th St., SF

(415) 863-2052

www.lexingtonclub.com


Erotic Needlepoint Workshop

Oh my! Drop (stich) into Amy Leonard’s class to make your sweetie the gosh darn most exciting dish towel they’ve ever laid eyes on. Perhaps you’ll embroider a scene from those hot thirty minutes in the Sur La Table elevator? Who can say: the choice is yours.  

Sun/8 3 p.m., $10

Femina Potens

2199 Market, SF

(415) 864-1558

www.feminapotens.org


The Art of Feminine Dominance

Mistress Midori, who performs a mean Japanese bondage scene, elaborates on how to find your dom within – the science, politics, practices, and fashion of the game. Are you ready for the upper hand?

Tues/10 6-8 p.m., $25-30

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0400

www.goodvibes.com

 

Bondassage gets at that kink in your back

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Headphones pump cool, slow beats into your ears as hands wander over your back’s knots. Assured, soothing touch works its way down your spine. A feather tickles your lumbar. Is that a whip running over your ass? Relax, you’re in the hands of professionals. “I wanted to make it accessible to quote-unquote newbies,” Jaeleen Bennis says of her S&M-massage hybrid, Bondassage. “It’s great for people who are afraid to take that first step of going to see a dominatrix.”

It was a simple equation for Bennis, a certified massage therapist with 20 years of experience and a professional dominatrix with five years under her latex belt, to (spike-heeled) boot. Why not handcuff together the two things that brought her joy? The fruit of her joyful union combines the soothing touch of therapeutic body work with something a little darker. 

Here’s a table side view: Bondassage customers are blindfolded, a collar placed on their neck, and cuffs on their wrists and ankles. “You’re lightly tied to the table,” Bennis told me over the phone. “There’s no crazy positions or anything.” Those headphones block out all noise from the room so what comes next can’t be anticipated by happy victims. Hint: prop play may figure even more prominently in Bondassage than realignment of that tricksy vertebrae from last week’s soccer game.

The formula appears to have found its audience in health-hungry Bay Area kinksters. “Everything is moving so fast for me!” Bennis told me, happy as hell with the way her passion has taken off. Though the lady herself is based out of Capitola, you have lots of options if you’d like to get caned (therapeutically) up here in the Bay. To date she’s trained 14 sex positive body workers in the art of Bondassage, including a phalanx around SF, Oakland, and Berkeley, and one outlier in the sexy slums of Indiana. Bennis and partner Mistress Montaine are taking the act to the road this fall, when they’ll be teaching workshops on the form around the country. Get in while the getting’s good people, it’s not every day that a new form of sensual touch comes around (but if you know of one, give a girl a shout, willya?).

 

For appointments, contact one of the practicioners listed at www.bondassage.com

Hot sexy events July 21-27

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“What was that video about Eric? Wow! Girl’s butt in your face and everything!” I hope not too many of you are keeping tabs on FOX News, because in terms of sheer entertainment value we here at the SFBG simply cannot compete with Glenn Beck and his cronies’ 2009 commentary on the SF’s pervert art scene. Just watching him pump his blonde little eyebrows up and down while saying the words “the world’s only underground kinky art porno horror flick, complete with four men, three women and one gorilla,” – hey Beck, stay the hell away from my beat!

Yeah yeah yeah, what the hell am I talking about. So the National Endowment for the Arts kicks down some precious ducats from their $80 million stimulus pot to SF org’s like Cinematheque, Frameline Films, and CounterPULSE, whose series Perverts Put Out was honored with a name check on the fair and balanced news channel. What are they so tantalizingly riled over? Well my friends, check it out for yourselves when PPO hits the Center for Sex and Culture stage this weekend as part of its traditional, pre Dore Alley Fair show (Sat/24). 

 

Alex Ironrod

The semi-retired leather champ-author talks about his Leather Masters and slaves series, which follows the adventures of Tarquin and Paul and their buddies in the L.A. leather scene.

Thurs/22 7:30 p.m., free

A Different Light bookstore

489 Castro, SF

(415) 431-0891

www.adl-book.blogspot.com


Bay of Pigs

For all the fun of the street fair without the gawkers and sunshine, head to the Bay of Pigs. This is the UYA’s official Saturday pre-party, and you can bet your well oiled, mid-shin-high boots that there’ll be enough visuals to keep you stimulated; dancers, demos, and spaces to cavort and carouse like you wouldn’t believe.

Sat/24 10 p.m.-4 a.m., $50

525 Harrison, SF

(415) 777-3247

www.folsomstreetfair.org


Perverts Put Out For Dore

As seen on FOX news! Philip Huang, Steven Schwartz, and Gina de Vries will leave their hangups at the door, and Dr. Carol Queen and Simon Sheppard host.

Sat/24 7:30 p.m., 

Center for Sex and Culture

1519 Mission, Suite 1

(415) 552-7399

www.sexandculture.org


Up Your Alley Street Fair

Swing your partner round and round! Take your kinks down to SoMa for an leather SF tradition: UYA has been rocking Dore to its very soul since 1987. Just be sure to walk that fine line of legality. Nudity’s no crime, but lewd behavior, the festival website says, will get you the boot. Well, after a couple verbal warnings… 

Sun/25 11 a.m.-6 p.m., $5 suggested donation

Dore between Folsom and Howard, SF

(415) 777-3247

www.folsomstreetfair.org


Sex Positive Sex Workshop

Dr. Carol Queen doesn’t sleep. In a good way. Today she’s hosting a class for all those considering, or currently delving into, sex work. She’ll be breaking down the inter-sniping that can too often occur between divisions of work (dancer vs. escort vs. street worker), and sharing the reasons for solidarity if you’re gonna be up on that pole or on your back for cash. Hint: they’re important.

Sun/25 6 p.m., $10

Femina Potens gallery

2199 Market, SF

(415) 864-1558

www.feminapotens.org


The Art of Female Ejaculation

“The Fountain of the Goddess” is the subtitle for Sheri Winston’s primer on how to get your favorite va-jay-jay (ugh, no props to your proto-linguistic ingenuity, Oprah) gushing that sweet, sweet Amrita. Oh yes, she goes there. Winston will take you back into ancient India’s reverence for the “Nectar of Life,” which sadly today has been reduced to fodder for Amsterdam sideshow-porn star shooting competition. Learn how to evoke your inner squirting goddess with her.

Tues/27 6- 8 p.m., $25-30

Good Vibrations

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0400

www.goodvibes.com 

 

Hot sexy events July 14-20

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Brooke Magnanti didn’t always appreciate the transformative power of writing about sex. As “the most famous call girl in the world,” she wrote an infamous blog in the UK about her life and times as a prostitute. She got famous – although she kept her true identity concealed – and a hit TV show was made of her life. Her frank sex talk kept everyone intrigued, titillated, and humanized sex workers for an online audience. And then the tabloids found out who she was. 

And she was poked, prodded, harassed via email, her parents were interrogated, her ex boyfriend started getting all threaten-y. Her other career as a research scientist was called into question. Sucks. But she’s better now, happy she voiced her sexual reality, and as found her relationships deepen on account of it. She’s looking to teach you how to seize the power of the pen (and Ipad) for the same means this weekend, in a talk (Sat/17) and writing workshop (Sun/18) at Femina Potens gallery. She’s ex-hooker, hear her roar. 

 

Cock Rings

Dr. Charles Glickman wants you to squeeze the very most out of your cock collar – what a nice feller! He’ll be breaking down the anatomical mysticalism behind base camp, make sure you’re being safe, and, of course, talk ’bout fun new tricks to spice things up between you and your ringbearer. You doooo.

Wed/14 6:30-7:30 p.m., free

Good Vibrations

2504 San Pablo, Berk.

(510) 841-8987

www.goodvibes.com


Novice Night

Part expert panel discussion, part hands-on play time, this class is perfect for the new comer to the BDSM scene. Canes, clips, hoods, and needles? You can find it all here. Women only, please.

Fri/16 8-10 p.m., $4 members, $10 non-members

Women’s Building

3543 18th St., SF

www.theexiles.org


Great America Takeover

The SF Citadel wants you to arrive early at the castle, unload all your toys there, then head out for a day of thrill-seeking – on the rides at Great America. Say what? No, really. Wear your tourist clothes, and if you get a terrible sunburn all the better. Rosy cheeks knocks $5 off your admission for the Citadel dungeon play party upon the group’s return to the city.

Sat/17 meet at SF Citadel 10 a.m. for carpools to amusement park, $54.99 park admission

SF Citadel 

1277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-1746

www.sfcitadel.org


Writing Workshop with Belle De Jour

There is a blogger out there even sexier than I. UK digital dime, Belle De Jour (aka, Brooke Magnanti) shares her secrets for getting allll of you all on paper, or digital page, in this writing workshop not to be missed.

Sun/18 3 p.m., $15-20

Femina Potens

2199 Market, SF

(415) 864-1558

www.feminapotens.org


Fabulous Fellatio/Petting the Kitty

Gotta love that give and take. And should you and your sweetie want a refresher course on all ways to put the puff back into each other’s privates (sorry, I don’t know where I was going with that one), Good Vibes is supplying you with not one, but two evenings of education with sex educator Megan Andelloux. Go the first night for a crash course on phallus lovin’, the second for a crash course of cunnilingus. Study hard, kids.

FF: Mon/19 6-8 p.m., $25-30

PtK: Tues/20 6-8 p.m., $25-30

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0400

www.goodvibes.com


Beginning Strip Class

Burlesque beauty Alotta Boutté brings her considerable, ahem, skills to the stripper pole in the dungeon basement of the Big Pink House. Wear clothing that’s comfortable — but not so comfortable you’ll mind leaving it on the floor.

Tues/20 7:30-9:30 p.m., $5

Big Pink House (contact for address)

(415) 292-3222

www.soj.org