Sex Blog Archives — Page 18 of 23 — San Francisco Bay Guardian Archive 1966

Hot sex events this week: June 10-16

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June 9, 2009

Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

dottieluxbym.ultoandtigger_0609.jpg
Dottie Lux will shake and shimmy at Spookshow A-Go-Go’s first all-gay show on Sunday. Photo by M. Ulto and Tigger.

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>> Night of Mayhem
Viriginia Suicide hosts this weekly burlesque revue by Barbary Coast, featuring Pin Key Lee, Flame Cynders, sASSy Hotbuns, Flying Fox, and more.

Wed/10, 8-11pm. $5.
Annie’s Social Club
917 Folsom, SF
www.anniessocialclub.com

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>> MythFits
Writers, filmmakers, and performance artists queerify classic myths and seek out the deviant threads in tales of yore in this three-week series, this time featuring gigi Otalvaro-Hormillosa, Robin Coste Lewis, and Sadie Lune.

Wed/10, 6pm, free.
San Francisco Public Library
100 Larkin, SF
www.queerculturalcenter.org

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>> Cocktails and Burlesque Aerial Arts
Back by popular demand, Kate Law and Alayna Stroud’s Bow and Arrow present Cirque Noir (yes, the lovely ladies we recently saw at the Gold Club Anniversary Party), in their lower Pac Heights/upper NoPa dance studio. Expect cocktails as delicious as the burlesque is sensuous.

Fri/12-Sat/13, 8pm. $20.
DanceGround Keriac
1805 Divisadero, SF
(336) 391-6610
www.alaynastroud.com

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>> Lusty Lady Pride Float Benefit Party

Come support SF’s Lusty Lady Theater, the one and only unionized worker-owned peep-show co-op, and their saucy presence in SF Pride 2009! Strippers, dancers, performance, DJ Durt, dykes, debauchery, raffle, panty and date auction, lapdances, bodyshots, and you….

Sat/13, 9pm. Free.
Lexington Club
3464 19th St, SF
www.lexingtonclub.com

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>> Spookshow A-Go-Go: Lezbo-A-Go-Go
In honor of Pride Month, Lux-Killmore Entertainment presents their first ever all-gay show: an evening of chicks, dicks, and flicks. Performers for this unprecendented Spookshow A-Go-Go include Ruby Vixen, Dottie Lux, Ophelia Cour de Noir, Kitty Von Quimm, Steven Satyricon, and many more, all hosted by Virginia Suicide (yes, she’s busy this week).

Sun/14, 7pm. $7.
The Stud
399 9th St, SF
www.myspace.com/spookshoagogo

QSM offers BDSM adventure of a different sort

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June 9, 2009

2

By Juliette Tang

It started as I was digging around for an old Janus magazine for a friend of mine (sigh, I swear).

Janus — the classiest and cheesiest British spanking magazine from the 1970s, and still being campily produced to this day — reads like the Vice Magazine of softcore spanking. There’s something that is, strangely and inconceivably, almost high-brow about this periodical, with its modestly made-up and un-enhanced models who look like they stepped out of a Richard Kern photo. The lo-fi, soft-focused, 35mm photos and the intentionally retro design of the layout and typeface — plus the fact that the magazine’s design philosophy has not changed in the last three decades — imbue the publication with a toothsome genuineness noticeably absent in its more explicit modern day counterparts.

The publication also makes no secret of its aspirations toward a “higher standard.” Janus also runs a popular sex shop in Soho, London, that boasts a storefront more fitting of a Prada boutique than a sex shop, and which in the past has participated in an homage to Arthur Rimbaud and Paul Verlaine, two French poets who had a famously violent affair in the 1870s.

It was by pure accident that, through searching for Janus magazine, I discovered QSM, an online BDSM bookstore, its warehouse located here in San Francisco, woman-owned and -run since 1989.

Handjobs: Are we having them?

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June 8, 2009

6

By Juliette Tang

Hand jobs. Are people still giving, getting, or even thinking about them? I’m not talking about a few jerks during foreplay either. I’m asking if anyone out there habitually engages in hot and heavy hand love… and goes all the way. Because it seems, in many peoples’ sex lives, that the hand job is to a CD Walkman what the blow job is to an iPod. It was great when you were in junior high, but then something new came around and you sort of forgot about it. I occasionally see used latex gloves discarded on the sidewalk, and we regularly hear about San Francisco law enforcement cracking down on local massage parlors (so obviously someone out there is paying for it) but – like secret societies, group sex, and crack – hand jobs are something you know is out there, though you’re hard pressed to know anyone who regularly participates. I awkwardly asked some of my male friends, both straight and gay, “When was the last time you got a hand job?” and then quickly added, “And not from yourself.” The most common response was, “And… um, came?”

What once seemed so sexy and thrilling in 9th grade has now, in adulthood, become prosaic. But why? Have we really graduated from the hand job? Is it that because those who can simply jerk themselves off would rather engage in other activities when with a partner? Do hand jobs seem dispassionate and sterile? Or is it simply that, for most, no one else really gives a hand job quite as good as one can give oneself?

Gold Club: Anniversary party shiny but not new

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June 5, 2009

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By Molly Freedenberg

Gold Club’s Website cover girl knows what you want (what you really, really want).

It all started with this:

Are you into booze???

What about food??

How do you feel about boobies, then??

Gold Club’s giving ’em all away next Thursday evening…

That was the email from a friend whose expertise – besides playing Magic, drawing octopi, and arguing with me about why Macs aren’t better than PCs – is finding free shit to do. This time? It was free nudity. And there was no way I was missing out.

Thing is, after several years of going to Burning Man – hell, even just of living in San Francisco – seeing naked people isn’t really a big deal. And after spending six years in sexually-progressive Portland, where going to the strip club was as normal as going to the local pub, the idea of seeing nudity in a bar isn’t a big deal either.

But I’ve never been to a strip club in San Francisco. Would it be weird, seedy, and full of mainstream guys ogling surgically-enhanced women, a la Southern California? Would San Francisco culture have seeped inside its walls, meaning tattooed dancers with plug piercings and pink hair? I had no clue what to expect.

Apparently, I wasn’t alone in my curiosity. When we got to the 5th Anniversary party at Gold Club, the line to get in snaked around the block. As per the invite’s instructions, most people had “dressed to impress,” most men in some version of business casual and most women in dresses and heels. There were more men than women, by far, but the ratio was considerably closer for this event than I suspected it normally would be.

Inside, the club felt like Vegas. Carpeted floors, special areas separated by artificial glass walls, their insides rippling with neon bubbles. An ice sculpture of a naked pole dancer slowly melted in front of a glassed-off smoking room (which, itself, was much like a slightly swanky airport smoking area). The one stage was surrounded by heavy-duted scaffolding, which held arena-worthy lights. And on the stage, from the event’s start at 7pm until its finish at 9pm, was a steady rotation of topless dancers.

Though heavier on neon and glass than I’d prefer, the decor of Gold Club is still classy enough for me to consider it a “gentleman’s club,” rather than a mere strip joint.

Slut-muscle mania

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June 5, 2009

3

By Juliette Tang

While some of us can’t even handle being in a single relationship much less multiple relationships, The Ethical Slut author Dossie Easton has been non-monogamous since 1969. Easton will be at the Center for Sex and Culture (1519 Mission St) tomorrow (June 5, 2-4pm, $5-$10 sliding scale) for a book signing, reading, and discussion of The Ethical Slut‘s recently released second edition, which contains two new chapters (Opening an Existing Relationship, Lifestyles of the Single Slut) and extensive rewrites, particularly around the topic that is inherent in any discussion of polyamory: jealousy. For those who engage in polyamory – or for those merely interested in the possibilities – Easton’s book is a straightforward, informative, and illuminating resource on consensual non-monogamy as a lifestyle.

Polyamory will always be a controversial subject as long as monogamy is the cultural norm. Not only is marriage an inherently monogamous institution (and an institution that is now best described as bullshit in the state of California), but we even tend to think of dating as a series of monogamous relationships separated from one another by fallow periods of ‘singlehood’ that only end when we meet the next person we want to be monogamous with. This idea of having “one” partner is reinforced everywhere, from culture to ethics to law, and it’s ingrained in the very rituals and ideologies that dictate our social behavior.

Hot sex events this week

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June 5, 2009

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Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

Explore the origins of the magazine made for sexworkers during Saturday’s film festival at the Roxie.

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>> In Our Own Image
Representatives from the Sex Workers Empowerment Project (SWEP) $pread Magazine will be on hand (ha ha) at the screening of this documentary on sex worker-made media and $pread itself — all as part of the final days of the 6th Annual Sex Worker Film, Art, and Music Festival. (Other films also run all day, from noon past midnight.)

Sat/6. 2pm. $8 per show, $30 day pass.
Roxie
3117 16th St., SF
www.sexworkerfest.com

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>> “Identity”
In honor of the National Queer Arts Festival, Femina Potens presents an exhibit dedicated to exploring constructions of gender identity. Celebrate opening night with artists Jess T. Dugan, Melvyn Herrick, Julie Sutherland, and Fakir Musafar, along with more queer comrades.

Sat/6. 7-10pm.
Femina Potens
2199 Market, SF
(415) 864-1558
www.feminapotens.org

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>> San Francisco is Burning
Cheer on Michelle Tea’s House of RADAR in this competitive fashion show featuring writers and performers from the RADAR series, where all proceeds benefit Queer Cultural Center.

Sat/7. 7pm. $20-$50.
SOMArts
934 Brannan, SF
www.queerculturalcenter.org

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>> Different Strokes
Think hand jobs are simple? Think again. Learn the secrets of making basic handwork into a gourmet treat, from warm-up to happy ending and bringing prostate and anal play into the mix.

Mon/8. 8pm, $25-$30.
Good Vibrations
2504 San Pablo Ave, Berk
(510) 841-8987
www.goodvibes.com

Male sex worker art: first night not so exciting

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June 5, 2009

17

By Juliette Tang

One thing I never thought I’d see in my life: an 85-year-old man in an orange paisley pashmina and a red beret screaming “Gum my cock” in front of a crowd of reverent observers. But on Wednesday night at Army of Lovers, held at the Center for Sex and Culture (1519 Mission St) in conjunction with this week’s Sex Workers Fest, that was exactly what I saw. Unfortunately, I don’t have a transcription of the full text, but trust that it included highly homoerotic descriptions of a bathroom orgy at the Embarcadero, a heavy bondage S&M scene between a sex master and his sex slave, and the aforementioned cock-gumming scene between the author and a toothless young man in suede pants.

George Birishma at Army of Lovers

George Birishma, 1955. Yowza!

Hearing octogenarian playwright George Birishma read from his 1977 novel, S&M Gym, was well worth suffering through some of the night’s other performances. Army of Lovers, a two-night spectacle featuring art, video, and performance by men who have worked in the sex industry, opened on Wednesday with performances by Birishma and 9 other former (and some current) sex workers that touched on themes of sexuality, eroticism, isolation, fear, community, and home. Curated by Kirk Read, a former sex worker and current writer, both Wednesday and Thursday showings were completely sold out.

Sexy, scary surfers tonight at Zombie Beach Party

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June 5, 2009

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By Molly Freedenberg

The Living Dead Girls were sexy and scary at Hubba Hubba’s Creepshow Peepshow last year. Photo by Patrick McCarthy.

Here’s the setting: If Annette came back from the dead and ate Frankie’s brains. If Gidget gorged on Moon Dog’s entrails before catching a sweet wave. If Brian Wilson were not just King of the Beach Boys but King of the Undead. If the Australian altrock band were called Dead Can Surf. If all you needed for a day at Baker was a big towel, a good book, and a large giblet smoothie…

Yup. It’s Zombie Beach Party. And it’s gonna be awesome.

I don’t only say that because I’m going to be in it. In fact, the new dance my Richard Cheese-inspired troupe, the Cheese Puffs, will debut on Friday has plenty of potential to go horribly wrong – in the form of 7 bounce-able, lose-able, unpredictable beach balls (though, to be fair, they’ll be bounced or lost or — gasp! — even kept by 7 adorable showgirls).

No, it’s because so much of the evening has the potential to go horribly, grotesquely, disgustingly right.

The event at DNA is co-hosted by Hubba Hubba Revue — the wacky variety/burlesque production team that brings vaudeville-style antics to Oakland’s Uptown every Monday, to DNA Lounge at least every month, and, increasingly, to other events around town (if it’s bawdy, sexy, well-organized, and funny, it’s probably Hubba Hubba’s doing) — and the Living Dead Girlz — the troupe of sexy undead dancers whose (actual dance) choreography is matched only by their zombie-licious costumery and storylines.

Between Kingfish and Eddie’s banter and the LDG’s guaranteed sexiness, you might not even need another reason to go. But just in case, keep in mind the rest of the show will feature burlesque favorites like Sparkly Devil (who performed at last year’s Best of the Bay party), Honey Lawless, and Dottie Lux, all doing their nearly-naked best to honor surf and zombie movies of yore.

Zombie Beach Party
Friday, June 5
9pm-late
$7 with costume, $10 without
DNA Lounge
375 11th St., SF
www.dnalounge.com

ZBP_b500[2].jpg

Products: Well Hello, Kitty

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June 4, 2009

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By Molly Freedenberg

One little two little three little kitten toys…

I’ll be the first to admit that I could’ve given the G-Twist more of a chance. I was lazy. Stuck in my ways. And, in the words of the poet Sir Mix-A-Lot, it was so big…so black.

And then came Hello Kitty [ed note: available at Good Vibrations]. The slender pink vibrator with the rounded kitty-cat head and big, big eyes, packaged in a cute rectangular box covered in Japanese writing. Intimidating it was certainly not. But there was something else in the way… oh yeah!… it’s a sex toy based on a character popular with 10-year-old girls (and, to be fair, the adults they grow up to be).

Not that I wasn’t charmed. I was. And a little relieved. The small vibe, in all its smooth pastel adorable-ness, could’ve passed as an oversized pen – and, in fact, it sat on my desk – next to my Post-Its and concert stubs and Sharpies and empty coffee cups – for a few days before I took it to my bedroom. This vibe was much more my speed – no pun intended.

But still. I wondered if I’d be able to use such a thing on my lady parts. Could I get past the associations with kids? The images it conjured of Japanese vending machines dispensing young girls’ used panties?

Turns out, I could. I could get past it. And under it. And off on it.

“Boob in a Glass” new “Dick in a Box”

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June 3, 2009

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“Come support SF’s Lusty Lady Theater, the one and only unionized worker-owned peep-show co-op, and their saucy presence in SF Pride 2009! Strippers, dancers, performance, DJ Durt, dykes, debauchery, raffle, panty and date auction, lapdances, bodyshots, and you….”

Lusty Lady Pride Float Benefit Party
Sat/13, 9pm
Lexington Club
3464 19th St, SF
www.lexingtonclub.com

Sushi sex: Japanese art porn comes to the Roxie

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June 3, 2009

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By Juliette Tang

No one does weird art porn like the Japanese, and this week, San Francisco gets to ride the bizarre train all the way to Tokyo. Inexplicably sexy and intentionally funny, Silence of the Sushi Rolls is coming to the Roxie Theater (3117 16th Street) on Friday. Hurray for porn being shown in real theaters! And as a part of the San Francisco Independent Film Festival’s Another Hole in the Head Fest, no less.

Why is it that when porn requires active subtitles, it magically becomes more high-brow? Because there’s nothing high-brow about this movie. It’s a guilty pleasure you won’t want to write home about. And, that said, you should totally go to see it anyway. Silence of the Sushi Rolls is the fourth film in an amazingly ludicrous series of “action comedy” softcore films known as the “Female Detective Molester Buster” series. The hilarity of porn titles, it appears, transcends culture. My favorite title is the Female Detective Molester Buster 2: Catch You With My Breasts. Who knew boobs made for such great law enforcement equipment?

In true Japanese softcore fashion, Silence of the Sushi Rolls kicks off with a woman getting molested. Those sensitive to scenes depicting sexual assault should take note not to attend (and to avoid all Japanese pornography henceforth). But to be fair, the assault scenes are so obviously fake and the attacks are so staged, it reminds me way more of that scene in Lost in Translation when an escort barges into Bill Murray’s hotel room and starts rolling around on the floor screaming “Lip my stocking! Lip my stocking!” than anything else.

alt.sex.column: Objects in mirror

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June 2, 2009

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By Andrea Nemerson. View more alt.sex columns here. Email your questions to Andrea: andrea@altsexcolumn.com.

Dear Readers:
Since I can’t write this week, I thought I could at least rerun a letter germane to recent discussions.

Dear Andrea:

I met a guy through his very explicit and fun Craigslist ad describing the weird-ass kinky sex he wanted. So we e-mailed, met, and had a great time. He’s handsome, intelligent, artsy … totally my type. We end up in bed, he gives me some quality oral sex, and then he ejaculates within two minutes. He makes no move to get me off either, just makes some remark about that being "my random Craigslist hookup." I’m too flabbergasted to ask for more oral sex. And then he wants to spend the night and cuddle. I’m frustrated and confused, but let him, and don’t comment on his premature ejaculation for fear of damaging his ego. Later we have sex again, and again he ejaculates within minutes. What do I do when he calls? What should I have said at the time?

Love,

UnListed

Dear List:

I once sat on a panel with Craig from Craiglist and I’m imagining him being mortified by this entire story. He’s a shy boy. I would also dearly love to link to the offending ad, but it seems faintly unethical, although it’s often said that once you post something on the Web, it’s public, period, and ripe for linkage. He’s probably taken it down by now, anyway.

Stop the pube police!

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June 2, 2009

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By Juliette Tang

There is a famous hairy ball theorem in algebraic topology which states that, on a spherical object, there is no non-vanishing continuous vector field. Basically, if you have a hairy ball, mathematically speaking, you cannot flatten all the hairs so that they all lay down smoothly. Some hairs will always stand up straight or create a bald spot where the scalp of the ball will show through.

Or, as famously stated by Luitzen Egbertus Jan Brouwer in 1912, “you can’t comb a hairy ball flat without creating a cowlick” — an assertion was also stated from time to time by Brouwer as “You can’t comb the hair on a coconut.”

The truth and practicality of this theorem has never been quite as urgent as it is today. With the launch of a recent ad campaign encouraging men to shave their balls, the hairy ball theorem has become not merely a principle associated with mathematics, but one that we can and must apply to real life. Just as you can’t comb a hairy ball without making it look all bent out of shape, you can’t really shave your man groin without expecting something funky to happen when the hair starts fighting back. Hairless balls may sound somewhat appealing if you’re a frequent teabagger, but sandpaper-covered stubbly balls definitely do not. Equally unappetizing are balls covered in razorburn or rash due to frequent shaving.

Ball shaving is one sex trend I cannot excited about.

June: Sexiest sexy festival month ever

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June 1, 2009

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By Juliette Tang

Queer Arts Fest

The Sex Worker Fest

This is definitely a good month for worthwhile local festivals. The 6th San Francisco Sex Worker Film, Art, & Music Festival officially kicked off this past weekend and promises to be a thrill for both the intellect and the libido. Smart, kinky, and fun, the Sex Worker Fest is a positive and educational week-long extravaganza that occurs in tandem with the ongoing 12th Annual Queer Arts Festival, a whopping month-long festival featuring over 400 artists in over 100 performances taking place in 18 venues all over San Francisco. The only question at this point is how you’re possibly going to fit everything into your schedule.

Michelle Tea

On Saturday, the Sex Worker Fest launched with a benefit at a. Muse Gallery (614 Alabama St) to support Radar Lab, a free queer writers retreat looking to accommodate 12 outstanding queer artists by this summer. Hosted by Ali Liebegott, whose IHOP Papers performs the feat of being at once witty and charming and a poignant lesbian coming-of-age novel, and Michelle Tea, prolific author and Guardian contributor whose novel Valencia joins rank with Michael Ondaatje’s Divisadero in being good books named after famous San Francisco streets, the benefit featured appearances by literary luminaries Dorothy Allison, ZZ Packer, and Eileen Myles.

7 greengasmic personal lubricants

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May 28, 2009

1

By Juliette Tang

There are a number of questions you might ask yourself before spreading something on your genitals, the most relevant being, “Is this edible?” Because, if you wouldn’t eat a tube of KY, you might want to think twice before using it on your southern hemisphere.

Many people have no health problems associated with synthetic personal lubricants, but others find that using lubricants with propylene glycol, parabens, phenoxyethanol, and silicone increases their susceptibility to irritation and infection. For some, synthetic lubricants have been found to increase the chances of yeast infection and UTI. For those with allergies and sensitivities, certain chemicals found in lubes can cause pain and discomfort during sex, and not in the good way. And, most frighteningly of all, the chemical nonoxynol-9, a spermicidal contraceptive, has been found to actually raise a person’s susceptibility to HIV.

Fortunately for the health-conscious, we live in a city that has the natural, eco-friendly alternative to almost any health and body product on the market, including personal lubricants. Not only are these products gentler on the body, but they are also gentler on the environment, as they use natural ingredients that can be sustainably harvested (and most have recycled, or at the very least, recyclable packaging). Each of these lubricants are different. Some are water-based, some are oil-based, and some contain plant-derived glycerin (which helps lube last longer). Here are 7 of our favorite natural lubricants, what makes them unique, and where you can get them.

All Natural, Glycerin Free

Firefly Organics is a 100% natural lube available online only. It contains shea and cocoa butter, but because of its oil-based formula, this lubricant is not safe for use with latex condoms. Firefly is the most natural lubricant on the market, with no preservatives and completely glycerin free, and because of this, it has somewhat of an abbreviated shelf-life. In a completely unrelated note, Firefly was recently voted the #1 personal lubricant by PlayBoy Magazine.

Mostly Natural, Glycerin Free

Sliquid Organics makes some great organic lubricants in water, cream, and gel form. Their most natural formula is water based, glycerin free, containing organic plant extracts like hibiscus, flax, sunflower seed, and green tea. For anal play, use the thicker, slicker gel formula. You can find Sliquid at Good Vibrations (603 Valencia). Safe with latex condoms.

Steampunk vibrator a blast from the past

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May 27, 2009

1

By Juliette Tang

From
Steamfuck.me

Since 2004, we’ve had the solar powered vibrator. In 1999, someone took out a patent on a water-powered vibrating device (and, dude-who-holds-that-patent, we’re still waiting to see what you’ve got). There are vibrators activated by cell phones, by iPods, vibrators with rechargeable batteries. There are even, for horny hippies, wind-up vibrators powered by your wrist. It’s no surprise, in this age of alternatively-powered vibrators, we’re returning once again to the age of steam.

This stainless steel steam-powered vibe was created by Ani Niow, a Bay Area engineering student. Her vibrator is doubtless beautiful, incorporating aspects of vibrators of yore. The first vibrator ever invented was actually steam-powered, and known as the “Manipulator” (that pun has got to be intentional), appeared in 1870 in England. The Manipulator more or less looked like this:

Niow’s steampunk vibe is much, much more streamlined and elegant than the closet-sized Manipulator, with a brass adapter for a steam hose and an insertable body. Inside the engine housing is a tiny Tesla turbine powered by compressed air.

The fact that this vibe looks like a medieval torture device surely works in its favor. While not the safest or most environmentally sound vibrator, this vibe has clean-lined aesthetics and the self-explanatory fetish element going for it. Niow’s toy has been blowing up the blogosphere these past few weeks, and her idea and execution are so novel that I can see why. There is definitely a market for some at-home machine fucking for the ladies and machine fucking for the dudes.

Hot sex events this week: May 27-June 2

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May 27, 2009

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Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

Take home some of your very own after attending Miss Indigo Blue’s class. (I mean pasties, you pervert.)

>> Book Signing and Discussion with Deborah Sundahl
The international sex educator specializing in the G-spot and female ejaculation meets and greets readers and discusses her favorite topics.

Wed/27, 6-7pm. Free.
Good Vibrations
603 Valencia, SF
(415) 522-5460
events.goodvibes.com

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>> Bellydance Moves for the Burlesque Stage
Join Fuchsia FoXXX for this sexy 1.5-hour dance class for all levels, where you’ll learn core movements, basic posture, articulation, and isolations perfect for use in a sultry strip-tease.

Sat/30, 1-2:30pm. $15 with pre-registration.
Click for info and registration

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>> Headdresses, Fascinators, and YOU
It’s more burlesque-themed fun in this class with Shanghai Pearl. You’ll learn to work with feathers, sequins, buckram, flowers, clips, and more. Bring your accoutrements and a glue gun.

Sat/30, 2:30-4pm. $20 with pre-registration.
Optional $20 materials fee to be paid in class.
Click for info and registration

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>> How to Make Pasties!
Miss Indigo Blue of TwirlyGirl Pasties teaches the basics of pastie construction and tassel twirling. You’ll leave class with a completed pair of your very own.

Sat/30, 4-5:30pm. $20 with pre-registration.
$20 materials fee to be paid in class.
Click for info and registration

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>> Opening the Deep Heart Through Tantra
Tantra: It’s not just for New Agers and hippies anymore. Let Evalena Rose guide you through learning to release your mind and enjoy being cherished, to experience the power and presence that this ancient art makes possible. Or, in short, to have even better sex.

Tues/2, 6-7pm. Free.
Good Vibrations
603 Valencia, SF
events.goodvibes.com

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>> Poly Living West Conference
In a polyamorous situation and wanting some support? Check out this three-day conference with seminars on topics such as creating intimacy, rebuilding broken trust, legal issues, jealousy, and creative flirting.

Fri/29-Sun/31. $220 (excluding hotel stay)
Double Tree Hotel SFO
835 Airport Blvd., Burlingame
www.polyliving.org

Surrender Dorothy!

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May 19, 2009

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By Juliette Tang

A mix between an acid trip and a wet dream, Surrender Dorothy is a San Francisco version of the Wizard of Oz, except gayer and more fabulous. In this adaptation, a yellow brick road climbs up Bernal Hill to a portal that transports oversexed bacchanal partiers to the fictional world of Oz. If the sight of 40 comely, glistening queer bodies mounting Bernal – decked in gold, no less – is of any interest to you, this is a movie you surely won’t want to miss. This film promises to shock and scintillate, and includes a medley of performances ranging from BDSM pornography to choreographed dance (because really, the two aren’t that different).

Described as “a constellation of performances reconfiguring themes of surrender, transcendence, sensuality, spectacle, queerness, quest, decadence, endurance, and safety,” the film explores these motifs through a reading of Oz that is at once campy and, in its unique way, meaningful. Surrender Dorothy is currently shooting in San Francisco, and the cast will be at the Make Out Room this Friday for a party to benefit the film. Tickets are $7 and the benefit features live performances by Amass, Oblio, and Heticide, as well as DJs J9, Bunnystyle, and the appetizingly dubbed ‘DJ Scabby Dagger’. At midnight, the film’s trailer will be screened, which will include three oz-lings engaging in an oral shower scene. Bring your friends, and your pretty little dog too.

Confessions: Size matters

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May 14, 2009

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By Molly Freedenberg

I have a healthy appreciation for the male anatomy, especially that scene stealer, the penis. (Too bad, testicles. Apologies, anus. You’re always going to play bit parts as long as Dick’s in the movie.) That said, I’m not particular about size. Or rather, there are so many other factors that are more important to me: color, shape, the feel of the skin, and perhaps most important, the body (and soul) it’s attached to.

In short? To me, size matters much less than just about everything else.

I realize, however, that not everyone shares my opinion. Case in point? The girl I recently overheard talking about her newest lover. (Names and places omitted to protect the guilty.)

This lovely little Latina with a delightfully filthy mouth was discussing, in detail, her new partner’s member. Both long and wide, it was perhaps the biggest she’d ever seen. And oh, did she like it. Much better than a thin penis, which she called “pencil dick,” or a short stubby one. “What is that, an eraser?”

What? Only six days left to hire a hooker on Craigslist?

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May 14, 2009

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By Juliette Tang

They say you have until next Tuesday to hire a hooker on Craigslist, but everyone knows that probably won’t be the case. Craigslist is shutting down its “Erotic $ervices” section after increasing pressure from law enforcement following the arrest of Philip Markoff, the “Craigslist Killer,” but because state officials and law enforcement want a scapegoat instead of a solution, the only people who end up benefiting from this situation are… the people at Craigslist? What?

Craigslist is shutting down erotic services to start the new “adult services” listing, which their blog states: “will be opened for postings by legal adult service providers,” whatever that means. Craigslist will review each posting before it goes on the site to ensure compliance with Craigslist guidelines, whatever those are. [Where do I apply!?! — Ed.] The murky details of Craigslist’s new adult services category are confusing, vague, and actually head-scratchingly bizarre.

Aspect gallery goes there Friday night

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May 13, 2009

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By Juliette Tang

“All art is erotic,” Adolf Loos famously said in 1908. We say, ok maybe, but not all art is equally erotic. All you need to do in order to test that hypothesis is look at American Gothic by Grant Wood and compare it to anything Edouard-Henri Avril has ever done.

Photo by Craig Scoffone

Those who like your art on the more (i.e. blatantly) erotic side will be happy to know that, this Friday, March 15, at the Aspect Gallery (731 Polk Street), there will be a nude and erotic art show from 6:00-9:30PM. Enjoy food and refreshments (you can BYOB) while perusing a titillating selection of erotic paintings and photographs from 12 local San Francisco artists who are making the art scene sexier for us all.

Man on Bed, by Erika Meriaux.

The Aspect Gallery is injecting a much needed shot of Viagra into the San Francisco art scene.

alt.sex.column: Don’t change a Thing

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May 13, 2009

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By Andrea Nemerson. View more alt.sex columns here. Email your questions to Andrea: andrea@altsexcolumn.com.

Dear Andrea:

I found this on Craigslist. Please, please stop this poor girl before it’s too late! She should hear from a professional that she’d be sacrificing nerve endings to a bunch of dickweeds who are suckers for media standards. And they won’t even like her more. God help us.

advice please re labia — w4m

so im hearing mixed reviews from guys about a female’s labia. do guys prefer the labia minora to be big or small? because tons of my friends are seeking to have them made smaller (like by a lot) so they look like playboy types etc. is that what guys want? what turns men on? and why? any advice on what to do here for me??

‘Nuff said. Thank you.

Love,

A Concerned Citizen

(Seriously.)

Dear Concerned:

Oh, okay. Maybe she’ll see this and maybe she won’t, but obviously this is a thing, or a Thing, that affects a lot of young women, just as she says. "Tons" of her friends, though? I realize she’s posting from L.A., where you have to expect this sort of thing, but the image of busloads of girls she went to high school with or worked with at Hot Topic after school lining up for surgical "correction" is unsettling even me.

So, what is going on here? I’ve long assumed (this has been going on a while now) that women used to go a lifetime without seeing their own (it takes a mirror and the will to look) or anyone else’s labia in great detail unless they had chosen to be midwives or something, in which case they were busy.

Hot sex events this week: May 13-19

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May 12, 2009

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Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

Learn to lap dance like Natalie Portman in Closer (without the lying, cheating, and heartbreak, of course) at Wednesday’s class with Catherine Rose.

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>> Sizzling Couples Lapdance Class
Catherine Rose of Slinky Productions presents a rare opportunity to learn the art of sensual teasing and erotic fun with a partner or friend of any sex. In just over two hours, you’ll learn about setting the right dynamic, giving a cleavage show, classic cuddle massage gyration, and more. Chocolate and bubbly will be served.

Wed/13, 7:30-9:45pm. $99/couple (10 percent off if it’s your first class).
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
www.slinkyproductions.com

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>> Art House Screening
Walk the red carpet at this Warhol-themed premiere party for Femina Potens curator and suspension goddess Madison Young’s newest film release, a work of queer porn inspired by The Factory.

Thurs/14, 7pm. $10-15.
Femina Potens
2199 Market, SF
(415) 864-1558
www.feminapotens.org

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>> Quodoushka Preview
Enjoy a fun, educational, inspirational introduction to this shamanic approach to spiritual sexuality, with Mukee Okan.

Thurs/14, 7:30-10pm. Free.
Call (510) 482-4239 for info and location.

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>> Monogamy? Non Monogamy? What’s For You?
UCSF’s AIDS Health Project presents this workshop for gay and bisexual men regardless of HIV status, during which you’ll explore the joys and challenges of both types of relationships.

Fri/15, 6-9:30pm. Free. Pre-registration required.
AHP Services Center
1930 Market, SF
(415) 476-6448
www.ucsf-ahp.org

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>> Electrify and Deepen Your Sexual Connection for Couples
Ignite the fire of passion, deepen your intimacy, and experience the heights of desire that a deep sexual connection can bring during this seminar with Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman.

Tue/19, 8-10pm. $45/pair if pre-registered.
Good Vibrations
1620 Polk, SF
(415) 345-0400
www.goodvibes.com

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Ask a Porn Star: Hormones and the mainstream

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May 12, 2009

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In Which Super Sexy Porn People Answer Questions –each week– From Bay Area Locals. View the last installment here.

By Justin Juul

Fielding your questions this month is AVN’s current “Transsexual Performer of The Year,” Wendy Williams.

Jason W: Will you have to take hormones the rest of your life?
Williams: Yes, unfortunately, if you don’t keep putting female hormones in your body, you’ll start to produce testosterone and that never goes away. It sucks because it’s extremely expensive and you’re never going to be able to finish. If you’re a transsexual you are “in transition” your entire life. Like…I’ve had many surgeries and there are many more I’d like to have. And I’ll be doing hormone replacement forever. But it’s all upkeep. All women have to pay for that and it’s totally worth it. One shitty thing is that insurance won’t cover any of it, but I’m not complaining. There are many other basic human rights issues in our society that need to be dealt with before we work on transsexual stuff.

SFBG: What advice would you give a young person thinking of transitioning?