• No categories

Sex Blog

Hot sex events this week: Dec 30-Jan 5

0

Explore sensual intimacy at the Sacred Temple in Sebastopol this weekend.

————-

>> NYE with Carmen Milagro Band and Hot Pink Feathers
Celebrate the new year with a bit of burlesque to benefit the Mission Language and Vocational School and Culinary Academy.

Thurs, 8pm
$20 for show, $68 includes dinner
Florida Street Cafe
710 Florida, SF
www.partyatfloridastreetcafe.comfirst

————-

>> Underwear Party
It’s a special New Year’s Eve super party, complete with balloon drop, party favors, champagne toast, and, of course, a super wet underwear contest at 12:30am.

Thurs/24, 9pm
$5-$10
Powerhouse
1347 Folsom, SF
(415) 552-8689
www.powerhouse-sf.com

————-

>> First Friday Follies
Join host Margaret France for the first burlesque show of the year, featuring Bowie-themed performances by Kitty Von Quimm, Honey Penny, Twinkletoes McGee, Cupcake, and more.

Fri/1, 9pm
Free
Stork Club
2330 Telegraph Ave, Oakl
www.storkcluboakland.com

————-

>> Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond
Dive into the depths of adventurous sex and personal truth with Lee Harrington, who’ll lead a class and book party.

Sat/2, 1pm
$10-$30
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
sexandculture.org

————-

>> Burlesque ‘n’ Brass
Join Hot Pink Feathers and Blue Bone Express for some hot cabaret showgirl dance and cool jazz.

Sat/2, 8:30pm
$10
Cafe Van Kleef
1621 Telegraph, Oakl
www.hotpinkfeathers.com

————-

>> Therapeutic and Tantric Massage for Couples
Learn a sensual language that naturally empowers couples into deeper and more intimate rapport in this non-sexual — but certainly sensual — workshop.

Sun/3, 2pm
$50
Sacred Arts Temple
Sebastopol
RSVP to snakedancer@earthlink.net
www.sacredtemplehealing.com

————-

>> Sexecological Walking Tour
Join Annie Sprinkle and Elizabeth Stephens for a fun, kinky, and spiritually satisfying tour of the sexecological sites around the Castro.

Sun/3, 2pm
$15
Femina Potens Art Gallery
2199 Market, SF
(415) 864-1558
www.feminapotens.org

————-

>> Hubba Hubba Revue
Kingfish and Eddie host this weekly burlesque review, this time featuring Cherry Contrary of London and Seattle.

Mon/4, 9pm
$5
The Uptown Club
1928 Telegraph, Oakl
www.hubbahubbarevue.com

Grey’s anatomy: An interview with Sasha Grey

0

To state that hardcore porn nymphet Sasha Grey has mainstream appeal is like arguing a truism. Thrust onto billboards and magazine covers, written into highly publicized Hollywood movies, integrated into our cultural vernacular, Sasha Grey didn’t just cross over into mainstream territory; we brought her here.

It’s easy to see why, among the many female performers in adult entertainment, Sasha Gray has become the unwitting locus of the public’s gaze and speculation. Next to those flaxen, suprafemale Barbies who dominated porn in the 90s, Grey’s handsome brunette naturalism seems somehow transgressive. Grey’s bosoms are not big enough to generate their own gravity, and her smooth, skin-colored skin and svelte muscularity are the products of youth and genetics rather than of dubious cosmetic procedure. With her placid, heavy-lidded eyes, broad forehead, and insistent jawline, Grey’s face looks real rather than representational. She looks like the pretty 21-year-old that she is — with an age appropriate penchant for darkening her already dark Mediterranean eyebrows — and it’s this sense of the familiar that makes Grey, a real girl among a valley of dolls, so erotically appealing.


Sasha Gray in an ad for American Apparel

The media has the tendency to describe Grey in extreme binaries: young yet wise, beautiful yet intelligent, intellectual yet a porn star, and so on. In a sense, this tendency is understandable. Most writers, yours humbly included, are not citizens of the adult entertainment world. It’s tempting for writers to use obtuse paradoxes and reductive generalizations when describing those who seem, by virtue of their work, so fascinatingly equivocal. And Grey doesn’t make our jobs any easier, with her casual mentions of Baudrillard and Sartre, her appreciation of Godard, and her use of the adjective “Jungian,” while cheerfully inhabiting an industry that we take for granted as being intellectually unconcerned. As fellow twenty-something with an affection for cultural theory and French New Wave, I relate to some of her interests, but beyond that, my interpretive abilities hit a wall and all that’s left is conjecture. Grey is a descriptive paradox, and it would not surprise me if she preferred it that way.

Grey was recently announced as this year’s keynote speaker at the 2010 AVN Awards and I had the opportunity to interview her. Not wanting to add to the guesswork that surrounds Grey’s celebrity or to embark on a vague meditation of the porn-star psyche, I limited the questions to her involvement with the AVN ceremony. The result was simple, straightforward and, at least for me, refreshing.

SFBG: As such a young performer — and one relatively new to the adult entertainment industry — are you comfortable with the responsibility of giving the AVN keynote address?

SG: This has been an incredibly exciting year for me, and I feel each year I continue to excel… but the industry has changed rapidly, in my almost fourth year of experience. I am proud that I have the chance to share my voice with the industry and show appreciation for the fans that support my career and adult film-making.

SFBG: At the moment, what are some of the most important issues or concerns for the adult entertainment community?

SG: First and foremost the never-ending battle of obscenity laws, i.e. the ongoing case against Evil Angel Video. If Evil Angel is found guilty, we’ll be rolling backwards in time when Naked Lunch was banned for obscenity. Secondly, the state of AIM Healthcare, where all performers are tested, could be shut down any day due to grueling legal battles with Cal OSHA, which would temporarily shut the business down until there’s a replacement testing facility… and who knows how long that could take.

SFBG: You’ve performed in so many films and been in the spotlight for so long that it feels strange for me to ask, but are you nervous about giving this speech?

SG: Nope.

SFBG: This will be your third year attending the AVN Awards. Do you enjoy the ceremony?

SG: The awards show has always been a fun way to end a long week of press and meeting fans, and there’s certainly the neverending people watching which always entertains!

SFBG: Just out of curiosity, have you read “Big Red Son” by the late David Foster Wallace? He attended the AVNs 11 years ago and wrote about his overwhelmingly negative experiences as a journalist and onlooker. He prescribed the AVNs as a humble alternative to self-castration and described the adult industry as “predictably vulgar.”

SG: No I haven’t. Why do you think they don’t hold most awards shows in Vegas? People would be letting their inhibitions go! Vegas: a great example of the Jungian idea, the duality of man. People put on a mask; those who don’t ordinarily drink too much yet end up wasted, spend too much money on strippers and gambling, etc, this goes for 90% of people who visit the city of sin. People from the adult industry or those who mingle with its crowds are aware that Vegas calls for celebration, and they are usually comfortable letting their inhibitions go, or wearing these masks. I am sure this might intimidate an onlooker with no knowledge of the adult entertainment community, but this doesn’t reflect the day-to-day life of the businessmen and women that run this industry.

SFBG: What did it feel like to win your first AVN award in 2007, less than a year after having entered the industry?

SG: It was a real shock, I had only been in the business for five months before the nominations went out, so I was just happy to be nominated.

SFBG: You’ve won 4 AVN awards in 4 separate categories. Of these awards, which one meant the most to you?

SG: Female Performer of The Year of course!

SFBG: In your own career, are awards a huge honor for you, or just icing on the cake?

SG: I used to think they were something to add to your resume, until I actually won. The anticipation, being unsure, and then winning… yeah it’s incredibly gratifying.

Hot sex events this week: Dec 9-15

0

Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

sexevents_1216.jpg

The Twilight Vixen Revue, shown here at last year’s Hubba Hubba Revue Christmas special, will make an appearance at Friday’s Chrismanukkah show.

————-

>> International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers
Annie Sprinkle and Kimberly Kline host a rememberance ritual at Femina Potens before leading a solidarity stroll down Market to the St. James Infirmary.

Thurs/17, 6pm
Femina Potens
2199 Market, SF
www.feminapotens.org

————-

>> Holiday treats and personal shoppers
Pamper your way into the holidays with complimentary chocolates and wine on select evenings, when personal shoppers will help you pick out items for everyone on your erotic gift list.

Thurs/17-Sat/19, 6-9pm
Free
All Good Vibrations locations
www.goodvibes.com

————-

>> Ecstasies and Elegies
Sex workers, advocates, friends, families, and allies observe the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers with an evening of works by current and former sex worker performance artists, writers, and visionaries.

Fri/18, 7:30pm
$10-$20
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
sexandculture.org

alt.sex.column: My heart belongs to Daddy

0

By Andrea Nemerson. Email your questions to andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com. Read more of Andrea’s columns here.

AltSex_Icon.jpg

Dear Andrea:

OK, I get it about the hot moms, but what about dads? Does anyone ever talk about them? I remember when our son was younger and my husband would be out with him in the Baby Bjorn or stroller, he would tell me he got a lot more attention from women than he did otherwise. Some of that was really about the cute baby, but really, he was pretty sure those women were flirting with him. What was that about? He had a wedding ring and a kid!

Is there a thing about DILFs like there is about MILFs? It kind of seems like there would be, but it’s not something you ever hear.

Love,

Wondering Mom

Dear Mom:

Kinda. Did you try Googling "DILF?’ There’s a ton more out there than I would have expected, but since you’re not the first one to bring this up, I have been looking. A lot of it is just online porny zeitgeistiness — "people are talking about MILFs, so people will be wondering about DILFs, so I, sex-site owner or promoter or whatever, will make sure there’s something for them to see." The perhaps unexpected (although not to me!) detail is that almost every hit brings you to gay porn. This should not be a big surprise when you remember that there just isn’t a lot of "hot guy!" stuff marketed to women. There is some, but most porn made for women is very couple-y. So "DILF" for porn purposes seems to refer to somewhat older men-for-men, and fits neatly alongside already-existing categories like "daddies." And "daddy" for porn purposes never had the first thing to do with taking the kids to the park. There are also bears, of course, but they are likewise not associated with babies. Not even Baby Bjorns. Ahem.

Jiz Lee: “An exciting time for queer porn”

2

By Juliette Tang

jiz11209.jpg
Photo of Jiz Lee by Nikola Tamindzic for Fleshbot

Jiz Lee exudes three things not frequently associated in tandem — sex appeal, brains, and sweetness — and copiously at that. High of cheekbone and strong of jaw, with a slinky frame and a startling, beautiful ethnic ambiguity, Jiz Lee has a face and name you don’t forget upon encountering. She walks the line between coquettish charm and full-on bravado, and in this she succeeds, exhibited tellingly by the opening line of the biography portion of her personal website: “With an ejaculation scene that knocked the concept of the facial cumshot on its ass, Jiz Lee unloaded into the revolutionary world of queer porn cinema.”

With degrees in dance and theater arts, Jiz Lee’s performance career began well before she started removing her garments on camera. Happily for her fans, she began to perform in queer porn while still remaining active in the local dance community, and she’s capably straddled both worlds ever since. I ran into Jiz in excess of five times before gathering my wits about to coherently request an interview, but I finally managed it. We emailed back and forth a few weeks ago and discussed her work as an adult performer, an artist, and a sex-positive activist.

SFBG: So, Jiz, what’s your back-story? What brought you to San Francisco and what led you to start performing in queer porn?

JL: I moved to the SF Bay Area from Hawai`i in 1999 to attend Mills College. My interests for a major were between experimental music (I was 1st chair French Horn throughout school and was part of the Select Band which toured the state. Band Geek!), in high school I had also performed in dramatic plays, and I was also in the Ensemble, the top level of dance which gave concerts regularly and through which I was able to take masterclass with well-known choreographers. (My background in dance began with Hula Auana and some Hula Kahiko and Tahitian which I performed with a Hula Halau and then in high school studied Limón modern dance technique and musical theater. I ended up finishing college with a B.A. in Dance and a minor in Theater Arts, along with a well-rounded liberal arts education that included Women/Gender Studies, and Queer Studies.

After graduation and working with several dance companies and non-profits, I began to feel the burn out. One of the festivals I produced lead me to meet Shawn, who now goes by Syd Blakovich. Syd told me about Shine Louise Houston’s new queer porn company Pink & White Productions, and asked if I were interested in shooting. I had become very comfortable with my naked body, particularly after touring with a modern dance troupe in a naked performance. I was also comfortable with my sexuality. I had seen “Please Dont Stop” “Hard Love & How to Fuck in High Heels” and Sex, Flesh in Blood”, however at the time there weren’t any porn opportunities available to me that I knew about until I met Shine, who’s first film was “The Crash Pad” and it’s all history from there.

I’ve since appeared in all of Shine’s feature films as well as her website, each of which has been awarded a Feminist Porn Award (in Toronto), the most recent being Champion which won Movie of the Year. I have also performed for Madison Young, and for Courtney Trouble who has run her queer company No Fauxxx for several years. Most recently I had the chance to work with Belladonna, a performer who was an inspiration to me when I first saw her work — she was the only pornstar I had seen with a shaved head. She’s athletic and a great performer and she’s very queer to me. “Strapped Dykes” releases soon and I was both honored to be a part of it, and thrilled about the rise of butch/genderqueer visibility in porn with casting of performers like myself.

jiz21209.jpg
Jiz Lee and Gay Pornstar Arpad Miklos, photo by Nikola Tamindzic

SFBG: Not only are you a performer, but you’re an activist as well. You’ve said on your blog that “performing is a feat of radical activism in itself”. How would you describe the particular kind of activism that reveals itself in your work as an adult performer? In what sense does it transcend the realm from pure entertainment into that of political, social, or cultural activism?

JL: I could write books and books on my thoughts on sex as a medium for social change and where this now fits within what could be defined as a renaissance of queer porn. This is not so much about the work “I’m” doing, but of the movement that is happening right now in a broader way. Work that new pornographers are doing, the talent who’s doing it with them, the sex toy retailers funding a lot of the work, and the growing audience of what used to be “niche” however is at this very moment entering mainstream adult industry consciousness — meaning that the money is there. There’s a major consumer shift happening, and if Oprah says women watch porn, you can bet the change is here. I think explicit queer sexuality on film will permeate the adult industry by opening dialogues about gender, sexuality, and sexual acts — queer porn can bring the seldom seen female-bodied authentic sexual response and pleasure to the screen, even going beyond basic female orgasm; the lack of which has given ‘porn’ a bad rap. Queer porn has the potential to affect the industry with celebrated natural sex acts including fisting, female ejaculation, sex while menstruating, and also safer sex practices.

Kink launches slave society website

2

Text and photos by Steven T. Jones
peteracworth.jpg
Kink.com founder and CEO Peter Acworth

BDSM porn powerhouse Kink.com today launched a new website, TheUpperFloor.com, in which the top floor of its iconic Armory Building headquarters is transformed into a hierarchical community of masters, mistresses, and slaves and all levels in between, with Kink founder Peter Acworth at the top of the pecking order. And the Guardian was there to toast to and take in the debaucherous live-streaming debut.

While the domination-submission theme runs throughout Kink’s many websites, this one is especially intriguing for its intention to develop into a 24/7 community, with participants playing essentially permanent roles and the whole thing going out live to viewers, as today’s three-hour debut did to about 1,000 subscribers (initially, TheUpperFloor will be taped broadcasts and live events available to subscribers).
lillia.jpg
Lilla Katt was bound with rope and bamboo poles by Lochai

Acworth told us the concept realizes his original conception of what the Armory could become, turning BDSM fantasies into something like real life. “From the first time I saw the Armory was for sale, I couldn’t help but think of the Story of O and other stories,” he said, citing stories of women trained as sex slaves in dungeons and other BDSM fantasies. “So this sort of realizes that dream.”

Hot sex events this week: Dec 9-15

0

Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

sexevents_1209.jpg

Celebrate the 2010 Bare Chest Calendar with hotties like cover model John Lopez at Powerhouse this weekend.

————-

>> Barbary Coast Burlesque
For the last show at Annie’s, BCB will pull out all the stops to raise funds to help Satan’s Angel with her medical bills, including performances by Cock T’s, Dottie Lux, Balla Fire, the Devil-Ettes, and more.

Wed/9, 8pm
$5
Annie’s Social Club
917 Folsom, SF
www.anniessocialclub.com

————-

>> Sex Workers’ Writing Workshop
Gina de Vries hosts this workshop for current and former sex workers who want to share their writing and get honest, non-judgmental feedback.

Wed/9, 6-8pm
$10-$20
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
www.sexandculture.org

————-

>> Intro to Burlesquercise Mini-Session
Bombshell Betty hosts a three week course including the bump-and-grind warmup and workout, lessons in how to create your own retro style dance moves, how to work a boa and twirl tassels, and more.

Wed/9, 7-8:30pm. Also Dec 16
$60
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
www.bombshellbetty.net

————-

alt.sex.column: Winter Wonderland

0

By Andrea Nemerson. Email your questions to andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com. Read more of Andrea’s columns here.

AltSex_Icon.jpg

Dear Andrea:

Every year I dread this season, not because I particularly hate the holidays, but because the short, dark days depress me. I talked to a therapist friend and she doesn’t think I have SAD, and says lots of people feel a little gloomy when the days get short. I also notice that I have almost no libido this time of year. I’m single and I usually date, but when it gets dark so early, I find that I just can’t be bothered. I don’t want to meet anyone because I don’t feel like having sex or any sort of intimacy, really. I just want to sit on my couch in my pajamas. Do I have "seasonal libido disorder"? Is this kind of seasonal swing a common thing? I also find I get the stereotypical "spring fever" and can’t wait to go out and meet guys (I’m a girl) when the days get longer. Any ideas?

Love,

Poorly Seasoned

Dear Poorly:

You’re not the only one! Even people who need look no further than the other end of the couch often experience a libido-slump in the winter. For the single, who may have to actually leave the house to find a prospective mate, the hurdles are higher. There are all sorts of possible factors, including less exercise and its possibly associated weight gain and/or lack of energy, as well as the bigger push it takes to get up and bundle yourself into cold-weather gear and slog through sleet or slush, as opposed to merely flitting out the door in a darling little sundress whenever you feel like it.

Sexcipe: Orgy with Rack of Lamb

1

By Mistress Eve Minax, a professional dominatrix, sex educator, and food lover based in SF. As told to Juliette Tang.

Sexcipe: Orgy with a Roasted Rack of Lamb

Let’s face it, when people have sex, people get hungry, and when there’s more than two, you need enough food to keep the crowd satisfied. This recipe was inspired by a hotel room group-sextravaganza a few weeks ago and has evolved from other multi-partner sex scenes over the years. I hope you enjoy it!

Ingredients

3 dozen baby carrots
2 tablespoons of dried tarragon or ½ cup freshly chopped
¼ cup of hemp oil
pinch or two of vanilla sea salt
hazelnut flour

2 racks of lamb, frenched
rosemary sea salt
cracked black pepper
3 garlic cloves, minced

4 rosy red turnips, quartered
6 zucchini or yellow squash, quartered
¼ c olive oil
¼ teaspoon dried lemon
pinch of sea salt

4-6 oranges, peeled whole, leaving peel in snake like pattern
¼ c olive oil
pinch of crushed red chiles
½ teaspoon of cumin seeds, pummeled

*variation, hot fudge sauce made with fine dutch cocoa, agave nectar, pinch of cinnamon, ¼ c grass fed cream, bring to boil, simmer lightly until ready.

Method

Five or more hours before the guests arrive, toss the half the carrots in the hemp oil, tarragon, and salt and the other half with hemp oil, salt, and hazelnut flour. Stir mixtures every couple of hours.

Rub the salt, black pepper, and garlic on the rack of lamb and refrigerate.

Quarter the whole peeled oranges and toss with chiles, olive oil, cumin. Set aside.

One hour before guests arrive, remove carrots and place in serving dishes.

Toss the vegetables in the oive oil, dried lemon and sea salt.

Put a votive candle in each of the half dozen or so orange peels and place them around the sex space. The smell will be fragrant and lovely and the lighting will create a groovier ambiance. Make sure to have plenty of latex and nitrile gloves available, not to mention condoms, good lube, (I personally loved Sliquid Organics), and hand towels, (or as one of my lovers calls them, “trick” towels), or chucks, disposable under pads.

Preheat the oven to 375 and heat the space to 78 degrees Fahrenheit. Warm rooms invite people to undress more quickly.

Hot sex events this week: Dec 2-8

0

Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

sexevents1202.jpg
Fetish star Rubber Doll performs at Saturday’s Von Gutenberg Fetish Ball.

————-

>> Intro to Burlesquercise Mini-Session
Bombshell Betty hosts a three week course including the bump-and-grind warmup and workout, lessons in how to create your own retro style dance moves, how to work a boa and twirl tassels, and more.

Wed/2, 7-8:30pm. Also Dec 9 and 16
$60
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
www.bombshellbetty.net

————-

>> Sex Workers’ Writing Workshop
Gina de Vries hosts this workshop for current and former sex workers who want to share their writing and get honest, non-judgmental feedback.

Wed/2, 6-8pm
$10-$20
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
www.sexandculture.org

————-

>> Miz Margo’s Going Away Big Dance Party
The Flying Fox is leaving for New York City and the burlesque community is seeing her off with a dance party featuring goth, deathrock, postpunk, and glam music.

Thurs/3, 10pm
$5
DNA Lounge
375 11th St, SF
www.dnalounge.com

————-

alt.sex.column: Attack of the 50-foot MILF

0

By Andrea Nemerson. Email your questions to andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com. Read more of Andrea’s columns here.

AltSex_Icon.jpg

Dear Andrea:
I initially missed the hot-for-friend’s-mother definition of MILF, and was introduced to the phrase, sweetly, by a former lover. He wasn’t trying to separate the fuckable mothers from the nonfuckable, or fetishizing fecundity. Since we were both middle-aged, he wasn’t designating me a MILF based on the understanding of it that you and the writer of “Still Hot” hold [“Milfbone,” 11/18/09]. He simply meant that my being a mother was one of the things he found attractive about me — he is a devoted father — and that he wanted to fuck me. When you are covered with spit-up or finger paint, when most of your social events involve the PTA, it’s nice to know you’re still hot — maybe even hot because, rather than in spite of, your momitude.
His use of MILF made me feel attractive and desirable. It told me I was still sexy. Indeed, it implied that part of my appeal was my maturity: not the maternal qualities in an icky, “I want to suckle your milk-filled breasts” way, but that he preferred me to young ’uns and to the big-boobed brainless bimbos. “I think Stacy’s mom is way hotter than her teenage daughter; I’d rather F her, because, while society says I should de facto be more attracted to the young girl, I’m more into the woman my own age.” I doubt very much that I’m hot to a 14-year-old. But I might want to be to his dad.

Ecosexual: F*cking Machine seeks deflowerment

0

Juliette Tang continues her indepth look at local ecosexuals

Martin Cooper, an overachieving SFSU graduate with a background in art and engineering, created a provocative device earlier this year for his senior art project called “The Mean Green Fucking Machine”. He received an A in the class.

A fucking machine in the tradition of those at Kink.com, the Mean Green Fucking Machine is over 9-feet in height and is powered by a water wheel. An interesting aspect of this machine that cannot be ignored is the water requirement, but while this might be perceived as a limitation, Cooper (as well as I) believe this specificity might attract a while new clientele: the kind of person who is drawn to the aquatic element and its relation to the pleasures of torture. Underwater sex has its fans, and some might find use for this machine as a way to fulfill latent waterboarding fantasies. Just a thought.

Cooper is careful to admit that the machine isn’t wholly green — it wastes the water it’s powered by — but he states that improvements will be made on subsequent creations. According to his artist statement, “…sporting an 8 inch realistic dildo, and spraying water eight feet in every direction, it is a spectacle that cannot be ignored. It cannot help but spark the imagination of its viewer, confronting them with their own views on sexuality, whether they are titillated or repulsed by what they see.” Having seen this behemoth in person, I attest that these photos do the machine no justice. Cooper’s machine conjures images of medieval dungeons, kitschy steampunk gizmos, and the handiwork of my favorite Marvel Comics’ character, the Tinkerer. It’s looms but, perhaps because it’s rendered from bicycle parts, it isn’t intimidating. To me, this is a good thing; if any fucking machine could be cute, this would be it.

Sadly, Cooper’s toy is a virgin at present, but its creator is receptive to the idea of deflowerment. Are there any takers out there? Will someone, anyone, please sxually compromise this toy?

Check out a video of the Green Machine in action here.

Book Review: When nature calls

0

By Molly Freedenberg

sexinatent_1109.jpg

This may seem like a strange time of year to get nostalgic about camping, but the truth is, much of my adult backpacking adventures have been in winter. Most of those trips were with my college boyfriend, and we scheduled our outings around October and November’s breaks and long weekends before the second semester’s term papers and thesis craziness kept us campus bound.

So while the sun and heat of summer might remind most people of climbing mountains and forging across rivers, it’s the crisp clearness of fall and winter that reminds me of Gore-Tex and GORP. Which is perhaps why this week I finally reached for a book that’s been sitting on my shelf for almost two years: Michelle Waitzman’s Sex in a Tent: A Wild Couple’s Guide to Getting Naughty in Nature (Wilderness Press, 2007).

The premise is exactly what you’d think: how to get it on in nature. How much about this topic isn’t entirely intuitive, you might ask? According to the book’s author, the answer is “a lot.” In fact, it seems this book is mostly geared towards novice campers and the mountaineers who love them, and also assumes both parties are a bit naieve when it comes to sex.

Hot sex events this week: Nov 25-Dec 1

0

Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

sexevents1125.jpg

Monday’s Hubba Hubba Revue celebrates the sexiest squeezebox queens on the San Francisco scene.

————-

>> Sex and Memory: Writing from your own experience
Whether documenting amazing experiences for your lover or your history for posterity, award-winning writer Carol Queen can help you bring your erotic writing to life.

Wed/25, 5:30pm
$10-$30
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
www.sexandculture.org

————-

>> Stuffed
Grab your bird at this special Thanksgiving underwear night, featuring pajama and underwear specials all night. (No contest this evening.)

Thurs/26, 6pm
No cover
Powerhouse
1347 Folsom, SF
(415) 552-8689
www.powerhouse-sf.com

————-

>> Red Hots Burlesque
Dottie Lux brings a different show every week, promising seductive, spicy, absurd, and amusing burlesque from local and visiting talent.

Fri/27, 7:30pm
$5-$10
El Rio
3158 Mission, SF
www.redhotsburlesque.com

————-

Hot sex events this week: Nov 18-24

0

Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

sexeventssirloin_111809.jpg
Sir Loin Strip and Amelia Mae Paradise plan to take over Monday Night’s Hubba Hubba Revue in Oakland with surprises, quirks, vaguery, folly, and fancy. Photo by Molly DeCoudreaux.

————-

>> Flogassage
Serena Aderlini-D’Onofrio hosts this workshop on the bioenergetics of multiple loves, a hands-on course combining small group massage and mild flogging to convey the experience of polyamory.

Wed/18, 7pm
$5-$35
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
www.sexandculture.org

————-

>> Sex Workers’ Writing Workshop
Gina de Vries hosts this workshop for current and former sex workers who want to share their writing and get honest, non-judgmental feedback.

Wed/18, 6-8pm
$10-$20
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
www.sexandculture.org

————-

>> ArtUndressed SF
Fashion shows, body painting, and live entertainment at this huge, three-day celebration and exhibit of erotic art, sculpture, and photography — featuring local winners of Erotic Signature’s 2009 International Erotic Art Competition, including Nancy Peach, Damon Banner, Marc Taro Holmes, Retrotie, and 120 more!
Nov 19-21, Thursday and Friday 6pm to midnight and Saturday 3pm-9pm, $20
California Modern Art Gallery
1035 Market, SF
www.artundressed.net

———–

>> Mission Control Fundraiser: Carnival Midway Sextravaganza!
Kinky Salon a sexy, scintillating evening featuring stripper clowns, carnival games, a bake sale and auction, fortune tellers, and XXX backroom action, plus appearances by Boenobo, DJ Nezzy Idy, Sister Kate, and more.
sex
Fri/20, 8pm
$20 (includes 10 free tokens to play)
Mission Control
2519 Mission, SF
ymlp.com/zlzJwg

————-

>> Hubba Hubba Revue: The Miss Hubba Hubba Pageant!
It’ll be a sensational, galmour-packed, talent-rich night when burlesque performers compete for the title of Miss Hubba Hubba. Also featuring Fromagique and Bombshell Betty’s Burlesqueteers.

Fri/20, 9pm
$5-$12
DNA Lounge
375 11th St, SF
www.dnalounge.com

————-

alt.sex.column: MILFbone

0

By Andrea Nemerson. Email your questions to andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com. Read more of Andrea’s columns here.

AltSex_Icon.jpg

Dear Andrea:

Since you were so good as to weigh in on "cougar" ["Cougar Den," 10/22/08], perhaps you could settle the evident controversy around the correct usage of "MILF?" I think a MILF (Mother I’d Like to Fuck) is the mother of someone in your peer group. If your mom seems as sexual as burnt toast but Jimmy’s mom looks surprisingly hot at the ninth grade bake sale, it makes you reevaluate the sexiness of mothers or, generally, adults over 35. Jimmy’s mother is a MILF, and deserves the special category, only from the intergenerational perspective of a 14-year-old or whatever. It seems, though, that it’s being used to mean any woman who has a kid, which totally gets my back up. I’m 26 with an infant — I’d like to think I’m sexy in my own right and MILF is uncalled for, unless my kid’s friends at play-date start using the term way early. What do you think? Is MILF only referring to women of your parent’s age and above, or does it mean any woman who has (gasp!) had a child?

Love,

Still Hot?

Dear Hot:

I think I’ve weighed in on "cougar" a bunch of times, and fascinated as I am by the way the sexually-not-dead-yet moderately older woman has become the Hottentot Venus of our time — sexualized yet grotesque-ified, exoticized, gawped at, and lampooned — I think I need to leave it alone now. As for "MiLF" and MILFs, we have discussed it and them here, but only once, in passing, when some bozo wrote in about his hot former ex niece-in-law, or something, whom he described as "the very personification of the MILF." And indeed, he did want to F her.

Sexual “pun”-ishment

0

By Juliette Tang

Punning and naughty Photoshopping can be extremely funny, extremely horrible, or both at the same time. A bad pun can empty a room, but a good bad pun always elicits a laugh. Similarly, while naughty Photoshopping is juvenile and distasteful, you can’t help but admire the cleverness of a really good digitally altered photograph, regardless of content.

Porn is an industry that fully embraces parallel punning — Muffy the Vampire Layer, Chitty Chitty Gang Bang, A Rear and Pleasant Danger, Romancing the Bone, etc. — and suffice it to say, some of these puns are pretty adroit. The meme-generating folks at B3ta asked people to post their own Photoshopped porn posters based off actual movies, and the slightly NSFW 30+ pages of puerility are a must see for those who like their humor lower than low-brow. Personally, I can’t get enough of these. Assablanca, The Crotchmen, Hymen Popper and the Chamber of Semen, Lawrence of a Labia, Metropenis, Iporkyalips Now… sexual punishment never felt so good!

Those hilarious banned condom ads …

0

By Rachel Sadon

conddomads1109.jpg
Banned in the USA, despite our love of bang … and burnt rubber

Oh TreeHugger. You’ve made my day.

Not only did the ever-relevant green blog send up the 10 Best Condom Ads Banned in the US, but they pointed out the very real societal value in effectively publicizing contraception. Intellect, wit, and raunch — what more could you possibly ask for in a blog entry (or a Friday night)?

Author Brian Merchant points out that green living is about more than just composting and hybrid cars; overpopulation is straining the planet’s resources to an unsustainable level. Not only are Americans the world’s leading polluters, we also have an unusually high rate of unplanned pregnancies. And there are a lot of people that really loathe talking about contraception, much less see it advertised effectively.

condomad21109.jpg

It is unclear whether the ads were restricted by a regulatory agency or self-censored by marketers in the US (the article just says they were rejected for being “too sexually explicit”). Regardless, it’s pretty clear that our notoriously prudish compatriots would get more than a bit uppity at these exercises in tongue-in-cheek advertising.

Fortunately much of the rest of the world isn’t quite so unreasonable.

alt.sex.column: In the mood

1

By Andrea Nemerson. Email your questions to andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com. Read more of Andrea’s columns here.

AltSex_Icon.jpg

Dear Andrea:

I get irritable with my boyfriend when he doesn’t want to have sex. This doesn’t happen that often — we’ve been together less than a year and have sex most times we’re together, which is about five days out of seven. But sometimes he’s tired or not in the mood. This should be OK, right? If I were the guy and he were the girl, everyone would say "Stop pressuring her!" But I can’t help feeling bad. What is wrong with me?

Love,

Moody

Dear Mood:

Indeed, what is wrong with you? Could it be that you are simply an irritable person, and if it were not this issue, you’d find something else about your interactions with Boyfriend Boy to make you cranky? No? Then you’re just a normal person who is acting kind of spoiled. You and BFB are occasionally out of synch. And even non-cranky people have a hard time wrapping their heads around this part, but it is nobody’s fault.

It would be a vast and silly oversimplification to say that everyone has a natural libido set-point, like the one that keeps your body-weight unsatisfactory (To you! I do not care!) no matter what changes you make to your ratio of calories-in to energy-out. People certainly do seem to have something of a tendency toward the high, middle, or low end of the libido scale, but life, moving on as it does, changes things. (Actually, body-weight set-points also shift, but shut up, it was a nice simile.) Things do calm down a bit post late-adolescence/young adulthood, and even for those who can honestly state that they feel just as driven as always by their own hormones, stuff gets in the way. And sometimes that stuff gets back out of the way eventually, the kids go to college, or a health issue resolves, or they start sleeping better, and a dampened libido can come roaring back to life. So no way am I positing that sex drive takes a long slow dispiriting slide toward oblivion as soon as we become grownups or anything, just that libido is dynamic. Even yours, sex-wanting girl, is subject to change.

Greener ‘gasms: 5 eco-friendly sex toys

5

By Juliette Tang

The market for eco-friendly sex toys is growing, and in the past several years we’ve seen remarkable advances in the engineering of toys with ecology in mind. But while it’s relatively easy to create eco-friendlier dildos, cock rings, condoms, or lubes, designing and manufacturing eco-friendlier vibrating toys is much more difficult — as anything that vibrates is necessarily powered by some form of energy. The challenge is to create a toy that uses either the least amount of energy or the most sustainable type of energy possible, while still functioning just as well or better than a traditional battery-operated or plug-in alternative. Proudly, San Francisco is home to some of the hippest and youngest pioneers in the mechanics and design of innovative new sex toys.

Earlier this year, Bay Area engineering student Ani Niow created a steam-powered vibrator which, though perhaps not exactly eco-friendly, explored the mechanical possibilities of a different source of energy. Just this past week, we saw news of The Mean Green Fucking Machine, a water-powered toy designed by SFSU grad student Martin Cooper, who saw the design and market potential in creating a functional and aesthetically pleasing ‘fucking machine’ powered by alternative means.

Though Niow’s Steampunk Vibe and Cooper’s Mean Green Fucking Machine are both still in the most beta of beta stages, hopefully there will be many new developments in the alternative-energy-sex-toy sphere in the near future. And, kinky earthy types who want green vibes do have present options to choose from — all of which your humble blogger has, at the very least, seen firsthand.


Battery-free Earth Angel Wind-Up Vibrator

The Earth Angel is made of 100% recycled materials and is actually hand-cranked to power. There is a tiny dial that pops out of the bottom of the vibrator, which the user cranks for 4 minutes to store 30 minutes of vibrating potential. The vibe is not at all versatile in terms of speeds and settings, and it looks chunky, plastic, and kind of ugly, but of all the alternatives on this list, Earth Angel is hands down the most eco-friendly. The main drawback is the $95 price which, to be honest, would deter purchase by all except the most dedicated eco-warriors.


Sola Vibe, a solar-powered g-spot vibrator

This cute vibrator has 3 speeds and at full power lasts up to 2.5 hours (if you’re fine with having your vibrator sit on your windowsill to charge for 10 hours in direct sunlight). The design team had the foresight to create a g-spot vibrator, which adds to its versatility (can be used internally or externally). It’s $70, which makes it one of the least expensive eco-friendlier vibrators on the market. For emergencies when solar-charging is not an option, the vibrator also comes with a secondary wall-charger.

10 terms to ban from erotica FOREVER

0

By D. Scot Miller

hush1109.jpg

Reviewing sex for the Guardian is a blast! Straight up. I get to peruse pornografica for pay. How sweet is that? It’s my hope to begin exploring my sexual self for all the world to see! OK, that’s kind of scary too, but a good kind of scary. Throughout the gamut of emotions I plumb while “doing” sex in my own writerly way, the one I most despise is boredom Sex should never, never-ever, be boring. When the mind glazes over with ennui around good-ol’ ruttin’, it’s time to check-in; step up your game.

This is what I find in a lot of the erotica/porn writing I review. Nothing kills a moment like cliche’. And nothing says cliche’ better than tired/lazy language. A poorly placed piece of trite breaks the spell of seduction and turns the whole affair into just another pick-up line. But I’m here to help, I really am, and I ‘ve come up with 10 terms that writers should avoid at all costs when writing sex. Drumroll please:

A “sugar” binge that makes you purge

3

By Juliette Tang

sdk1109.jpg

Our post-Halloween, sugar-induced depression — that vague feeling of existential disgust brought on by too much candy — continues to rage on this hungover Monday. It arrives in the evil, saccharine form of Sugar Daddy Ken, the unfortunate new Ken doll via the lapidarists at Mattel.

According to Mattel, Sugar Daddy Ken (né “Sugar’s Daddy Ken”) is not the daddy of Sugar Chapeaux, the black Barbie, but of Sugar, the small white dog. And as Michelle Chidoni, spokeswoman for Mattel, told ABC most diplomatically, “At the end of the day, this collection is targeted toward adults. While the name of the doll does refer back to the dog, I think people are going to interpret it as they want to interpret it.”

The only consolation toward feminism is the obvious fact of SDK’s homosexuality. Crisp white pants paired with a bright green statement jacket themselves aren’t enough to imply a same-sex preference, but add to the mix a small toy dog named Sugar who cants about on a bright pink leash and you’re in the territory of grotesque, Bruno-style sexual stereotyping — which is par for the course when it comes to ever responsible Mattel.

Sadly, SDK missed his opportunity to be immortalized in SF’s Altered Babie Show, though of course there is always next year. If Mattel is unfazed by negative publicity and undeterred by the damage they will cause to fragile young psyches, SDK will be unleashed on stores in April of 2010.

And now, if you’re allergic to the gross reinforcement of outworn gender stereotypes, don’t read any further.

Hot sex events this week: Nov 4- 10

2

Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

sexevents1104_twinkletoesmcgee.jpg
Twinkle Toes McGee, seen here at Hubba Hubba Revue: Post-Apocalypse, teaches a series of sexy, sweaty classes during Burlesque Boot Camp.

————-

>> Sex Workers’ Writing Workshop
Gina de Vries hosts this workshop for current and former sex workers who want to share their writing and get honest, non-judgmental feedback.

Wed/4, 6-8pm
$10-$20
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
www.sexandculture.org

————-

>> Nasty
Suzan Revah hosts this filthy fun-raiser for AIDS Emergency Fund, including Nasty Boys playing Stick It In, dirty dancing, dirty demos, and free massage by Alex of Club Eros.

Fri/6, 10pm
$5
Powerhouse
1347 Folsom, SF
(415) 552-8689
www.powerhouse-sf.com

————-

>> Red Hots Burlesque
Celebrate the birthday of Ruby White, part of the cast of SF’s first Red Hots Burlesque show, along with Dottie Lux, Honey Penny, Lady Satan, The Fying Fox, Peggy Sue, and Ruby H-white.

Fri/6, 7:30pm
$5-$10
El Rio
3158 Mission, SF
www.redhotsburlesque.com

————-

alt.sex.column: Return to Cougar Town

0

By Andrea Nemerson. Email your questions to andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com. Read more of Andrea’s columns here.

AltSex_Icon.jpg

Dear Readers:

I was going to write more this week about body size, body image, and sex, but I’m stupid sick, so here’s an older one ["Cougar Den," 10/22/08] about age instead. It’s all connected anyway. Don’t get the flu.

Love,

Andrea

Dear Andrea:

Fourteen years ago, when I was 26, I met my husband, who was then 58. We’ve stayed together through thick and thin and we love each other enormously. It has pained me over the past decade to realize that, even when the woman in question has her own accomplishments and is not a "bimbo," and even when the man in question is appealing and interesting (not a Donald Trump or a philandering cad) — still the nasty stereotypes abound. British comedian Graham Norton, for instance, refers to Catherine Zeta-Jones as "that gold-digging Welsh whore."

I find that otherwise thoughtful women I meet, acting on a mixture of feminism, anger, and what I infer to be unacknowledged personal pain or fear, seem too willing to continue such stereotypes, and I hesitate to open up to women I would otherwise think of as potential friends. I have hoped that as increasingly empowered women realize that they can date younger men if they choose, the rage over the double-standard and fear of abandonment and dwindling romantic options will begin to fade.