The Guardian’s city and culture editors getting down at How Weird last year.
After being cut down in its prime by NIMBYs and nervous nellie cops and bureaucrats, the How Weird Street Fair — IMHO, the best damn outdoor dance party in San Francisco — has received the official green light to throw down on May 4 at new location. And the best part is, they’re still on Howard Street, from which the fair’s name is derived, although they’ve moved about 10 blocks to the east, now located around 2nd Street. So maybe fun isn’t yet dead in San Francisco, something the Guardian has been vigilant in safeguarding. For more details on the event lineup and details, check here later.
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How Weird bounces back
SPORTS: Where’s Tiger Woods?
And why isn’t he speaking up against golf’s racism?
By A.J. Hayes
Tiger’s not talking
For a sport that demands precious silence from its gallery , why is it that pro golf’s shot callers behave like a boisterous drunks every time they are faced with the fact that the sport just might be a tad lacking in racial tolerance within its infrastructure?
The latest racially charged calamity to soil the sport began about two weeks ago when an obscure Golf Channel announcer named Kelly Tilghman proclaimed that the only hope young golfers have in beating the great Tiger Woods was “lynch him in an alley.”
While it was a bizarre statement to make – who uses the term “lynch” so casually in regards to an African-American? – most people, including Woods himself, gave Tilgman the benefit of the doubt that didn’t make the statement with race in mind.
After she apologized she was given a two week suspension.
Then last week, Golfweek magazine joined Tilgman in the sand trap when it ran a picture of a noose on its cover to illustrate a story about the Tilgman. The cover line read: “Caught in a Noose: Tilghman slips up, and Golf Channel can’t wriggle free.”
Of course anyone who isn’t submersed in the world of golf 24 hours a day would know how blatantly offensive such imagery is. Eventually the real world caught up with the magazine and a change was made in their editorial hierarchy.
This fiasco is just the latest racially charged episode to hit golf. If it isn’t the controversy over golf course that holds the Masters Tournament that forbids women from being members, to the racially insensitive remarks about Woods made by golfer Fuzzy Zoeller, golf has a real problem with race.
Compounding the problem is, it never seems to learn from its mistakes.
SPORTS: Are the A’s history?
If MLB is serious about contraction, Oakland could lose its team
By A.J. Hayes
Several seasons ago, before performance-enhancing drugs started dominating baseball’s off-the-field news, an equally troubling situation was starting to take hold in the perpetually hand-wringing sport – contraction.
In 2001, back when team owners claim they had no clue about baseball’s growing steroids problem, Commissioner Bud Selig floated his scheme to eliminate two major league clubs – his choices at the time were Montreal and Minnesota – to help stave off baseball revenue problems.
For any number of reasons, the contraction plan fizzled and has rarely been heard from since.
But now in 2008 don’t be surprised if talk returns to putting one or more of the game’s 30 clubs on the chopping block – if for no other reason than to divert talk from exactly what pharmaceutical products were injected into Roger Clemens’ buttocks.
Breaking news: Shots hurt
By Paula Connelly
Lately, I can’t help but shake the HPV terror that has descended on girls everywhere. Two types of HPV (out of 40) have been found to cause about 70 percent of cervical cancer and two types have been found to cause about 90 percent of genital warts. Coupled with statistical evidence that over 50 percent of both men and women will contract HPV at some point in their lives and that by age 50, at least 80 percent of women will have been infected with genital HPV infection, there is good cause for alarm. Even though most HPV infections have no symptoms and go away on their own, I’d prefer not to gamble with cancer. And since condoms do not prevent the spread of HPV, I was relieved to learn that Merck & Co., Inc. developed a vaccine called Gardasil to protect against the four strains which lead to cervical cancer and genital warts.
The vaccine is overpriced and difficult to obtain, especially for women over the age of 12, due to the slim chances a normal, sexually active person wouldn’t already have contracted some form of HPV. Currently, the vaccine is only approved for women ages 9 to 26 (problematic for women over 26 facing the statistical leap into the 80 percent of women infected by age 50). But I say, don’t listen to that doomed logic! The fact remains that the vaccine protects against four strains, so having one strain already does not mean you should give up on fighting the rest. There is no treatment for HPV.
Armed with (and scared by) these statistics, I went to my doctor a few months ago, ready to demand they give me the vaccine — and ready to stage all kinds of protests upon my denial. Lucky for them, I was met with great enthusiasm at my desire to get the vaccine at all, and my appointment was promptly scheduled.
SPORTS: Clemens vs. Bonds in the public arena
By A.J. Hayes
After hurling fastballs, screwballs, and more than his fair share of bean balls at major league hitters over the last 25 baseball seasons, an impassioned Roger Clemens had no trouble knocking 60 Minutes’ Mike Wallace’s lollipop questions out of the park Sunday night.
Roger Clemens: Speaking freely?
“Its hogwash,” Clemens said in response to how a former associate could have fingered him as a steroids user in the Mitchell Report. “Twenty-four, 25 years, Mike. You’d think I’d get an inch of respect. An inch.”
To that, Wallace gave an approving nod.
You may have been watching the 60 Minutes broadcast asking yourself, ‘why does Clemens get to play paddy cake with old’ prune face, while Barry Bonds is an unlucky verdict away from pounding license plates?’
Easy: public relations. Clemens cares what people think about him and his baseball record. While Bonds could give a rat’s ass what fans and especially the media thinks about him.
One word: SIRENS!
Dunno about you all, but I live pretty close to SF General hospital and I have got to say the sirens haven’t quit since the early hours of today. Three cheers for all our emergency workers out there dealing with shit in this crappy weather. Heroic. I couldn’t even face leaving the house today.
SPORTS: Triple Brady = NFL blues
By A.J. Hayes
New England quarterback Tom Brady grew up idolizing Joe Montana in the 1980s, but in 2008, the San Mateo native is primed to eclipse the former 49ers great in the boyhood dreams department.
Brady already has three Super Bowl rings and is a near lock to equal Joe in the championship jewelry department next month. The dashing Brady is also a favorite of fashion designers and beautiful women, including current squeeze, Victoria’s Secret model Giselle Bunchen.
Then last Saturday night, three television networks did something that hasn’t occurred since Super Bowl I: They simulcast a single game — one of Brady’s.
But before you start believing every thing the San Mateo native touches turns to gold, the simulcast had less to do with Brady’s perfect spirals and dreamy looks and a whole lot more to do with the abysmal failure of the NFL Network.
SPORTS: Where are the black coaches?
Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith battled for the Super Bowl at Dolphin Stadium, but black coaches are still very much in the minority
By A.J. Hayes
If you’re a major college football institution, tis’ the season to get filthy rich.
Over the next week, millions of American football fans will be glued to their sofas and easy chairs watching an endless string of bowl games, and the schools will rake in the cash.
In between the beer and razor blade commercials, fans will comment on the exciting play, marvel at the colorful pageantry and debate who really is No. 1 in the nation.
But how many of these viewers will realize that while a great percentage of the amateur athletes competing in these cash cow contests are black, each head coach to a man will be white.
Apparently not too many. If there were, these football factories would at least be working to fix the discrepancy. Right now they appear to care not one bit.
According to the Black Coach’s Association, African-Americans currently comprise 50.8 of football players at the 124 Division I universities. But the number of black head coaches at this school is a pitiful five: Buffalo’s Turner Gill, Washington’s Tyrone Willingham, Kansas State’s Ron Prince, and Miami’s Randy Shannon.
The diversity figures at secondary athletic division schools aren’t any better. Just seven of the 119 division 1-A, non-historically black schools, have minority coaches. Four of the 122 Division 1-AA football coaches are black.
And its not like these schools are playing coy, even with pressure applied by the Black Coaches Assoction, two colleges, Ole Miss and Texas A & M recently didn’t even bother to search out black candidates for lip service interviews before giving the high paying slots to Mike Sherman and Houston Nutt, respectively. .
This isn’t just a problem in the Deep South where deep- pocketed alumni call the shots. At the start of the current football season the Pac 10 had two black coaches Tyrone Willingham at Washington and Karl Durrell at UCLA, by the end of the season that total was halved when durrell was dumped despite producing a winning season.
Some have suggested that black athletes boycott the schools that refuse to give minority coaches a fair shake. That would certainly get the point home, buy in the end that would only penalize the athletes. Universities especially state run school must institute a criterion that schools getting public funding consider and hire a diverse range of candidates – including those who mirror the makeup of their sport.
SPORTS: A free pass for owners
Mitchell, the owners’ man
By A.J. Hayes
Boy, George Mitchell’s juicy report on baseball’s performance enhancing drug epidemic sure pepped up the news week.
The 409-page report was part CSI Cooperstown, and part gossipy tattler sheet with tons of tasty tidbits ranging from the names of nearly 100 players (the big one being Roger Clemens), to anecdotes detailing some of the black market purchases, including dealer Kirk Radomski returning home to find an overnight package stuffed with $8,000 in cash laying in a rain puddle at his doorstep.
But the more you delve into the Mitchell Report the fishier it smells.
First off couldn’t baseball find someone other than Mitchell, a minority owner of the Boston Red Sox, to head the investigation? Mitchell may very well be ethically impregnable, but the fact is he has both feet planted in an owner’s box. Was it a coincidence that virtually no current or former Red Sox players, besides Mo Vaughn, disliked in Boston for the way he departed the team, was mentioned in the report?
Was George Will too busy rearranging his bow-tie collection?
In the report, Mitchell gave ownership a slap on the wrist. The lion’s share of the blame went to the players – most of them little known utility-infielders and back of the bullpen relief pitchers.
The fact is baseball was rolling along happily collecting the real cash box profits garnered by artificially inflated players over the past decade.
After the owners canceled the 1994 World Series, baseball’s popularity took a nose dive. It wasn’t until Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa’s thrilling competition for the single season home run record in 1998 did the fans come back.
Why, because it was damn entertaining. These buffed out sluggers had their selfish reasons for juicing, yes, but they also helped save the sport in the process. The owners knew it, the players knew it and any fan that it isn’t natural for a 38-year-old pitcher to get drastically better, knew it as well.
It wasn’t until congress got involved, threatening baseball with the removal of it anti-trust exemption that the owners considered a clean-up.
One of the players named, former San Francisco and Oakland bench warmer F.P. Santangelo, has come out this week and admitted his usage.
It’s time for an owner came out and said the same thing. Yes they had knowledge that something was up but did not act because the fans were eating the homers and strike outs, not to mention stadium hot dogs, up like crazy.
Someone has to say that, because the Mitchell Report does not.
Guardian Sports: Zipped lips for Ravens
By AJ Hayes
It’s interesting how the NFL promotes itself as the all-American sport while making its players follow a zipped-lip policy you might have expected to find behind the Iron Curtain. That’s the Iron Curtain of the former USSR, not the Steel Curtain of the ’70s Pittsburgh Steelers.
For all the times football fans have had to sit through incessant flag waving John Mellencamp’s “This is Our County” Chevy ads during NFL telecasts you might have thought that the NFL big wigs would have freedom of speech as a basic right of it’s employees.
The Ravens’ Samari Rolle
But when you see what happened to four Baltimore Ravens players this past week after they spoke out about what they perceived as poor officiating calls and insulting treatment that got personal from game officials, during a very tough 27-24 loss to New England on Monday Night Football (Dec. 3) you would realize that the NFL believes the first amendment rights apply only to the shot callers, not the grunts who break their necks (sometimes, literally) so the NFL stuffed shirts can also stuff their wallets on a weekly basis.
Missing person: have you seen Mandy Stokes?
Getting the word out for a friend whose cousin has been missing for 2 weeks:
Alicia Amanda Stokes, who goes by Mandy, is 33 years old, 5’4″ with blonde hair and green eyes. She was last seen on Sunday, November 25 at her home in Oakland. Her car was found abandoned containing her wallet and cell phone at 5000 Park Blvd, one freeway exit away from her home. If you have any information that could lead to Mandy’s safe
return home to her family, please call 404-931-7044 or 702-318-1590 or the Oakland Police Department who is investigating her case.
Pollution for truth? Egads!
By Benedict Sinclair
SF Tea Party for 9/11 Truth
Dec. 16, 1pm
Pier 39
415-451-8102
www.communitycurrency.org
Hoo, boy — here come the truth fetishists. They’re still groping away at that mirage in the distance where we all get to know what actually happened on 9/11, who was behind it, and how to claim the tragedy for political means in order to replace one lame duck for another in that most outmoded of positions, “American president”. The Boston Tea Party is slated to become another terribly misused reference to successful protest in this, its 234th anniversary, as activists try to gather angry Americans not sold on the media’s representation of the World Trade Center bombings at both Bostonian and San Franciscan docks. Attendants are asked to dress in colonial attire—preferably from the late 18th Century (leave the pith helmet at home, Grandpa)—and to bring fifes and drums, presumably for their distracting novelty value.
Not exactly recycling, but ….
“Proclamations” will be made denouncing such garbage as the 9/11 Commission Report, PATRIOT Act, Military Commissions Act, and just the broad, general notion of all-around tyranny. “Genuine” investigation, accountability and impeachment will be called for. The final act of protest will be a mass dumping of cardboard and bleached paper—a series of large, corny replicas of the actual published work being protested—into that precious natural resource: the San Francisco Bay. At least they could make ash of the boxes first, like they’re doing in Milwaukee, and in a slightly more tasteful and harmless move stick to dumping spent carbon instead.
Yes, let’s all wheel a bunch of junk effigies down to the bay and dump them in the water in a game of dress-up, all on the basis that errors can be found in each account given on the attacks, which isn’t exactly the most surprising turn of events since the trial in Rashomon.
A few essential San Francisco phrases
by Paula Connelly
Have patience, it progressively gets weirder. The best part is that it actually works. Ever since our illustrious receptionist Dena enlightened me to this video, I’ve been walking around the office singing, “spare me my life!”
Race, violence, and money
The shooting death of football’s Sean Taylor was mangled by the Media
By A.J. Hayes
Fox News isn’t the only media outlet that lets the facts get in the way of a good story.
Last week the sports media throughout the nation stumbled over themselves painting a “Boyz n the Hood” story line behind last week’s tragic shooting death of pro football star Sean Taylor in south Florida.
The theory was that Taylor just couldn’t shake his ghettoized past.
It’s an idea that’s quickly becoming one of the most commonly used race-related clichés in sports. It’s a versatile stereotype too, adaptable to any African-American athlete who’s either a crime victim or is implicated in a violent crime.
While police in the early stages of their investigation said the attack did not appear to have any gangland connection, the media – columnists and sports talk show hosts who had minimal knowledge of Taylor’s life away from the gridiron – weren’t having any of it.
It was clearly a “home invasion” they said, orchestrated by a vindictive group of Taylor’s former running mates, who were kicked to the curb when Taylor inked a $19 million contract to play defensive back for the Washington Redskins.
Va-genius!
By Justin Juul
Vaginas are wonderful and fascinating things, but their exotic complexity can totally mystify your average horny male, the vagina’s biggest fan. You know, you can’t just whale away on one and expect to be thanked afterward. You can’t just poke and prod and pull like you can with a dick. It seems like dudes would realize these simple rules and slow their shit down a little, but by the time a vagina enters the average man’s life he’s been hammering away at himself for over a decade and the transition can be confusing and a little scary.
It’s like switching from a PC to a MAC. You’re happy as hell when you finally buy a new laptop, but you’re scared to actually use it once you get it alone in your room.
Flop it out, Oaktown
Intrepid reporter Justin Juul hits the streets each week for our Meet Your Neighbors series, interviewing the Bay Area folks you’d like to know most.
Mr. Floppy’s Flophouse is a cluster of buildings in East Oakland that has been used throughout the years as a saloon, a venue for underground raves, a brothel, and most recently as a movie set. It also used to be Jack London’s favorite place to get drunk. I wanted to interview George, the crazy guy who owns the place, but he repeatedly denied my request, stating with obvious disgust that he has no desire to “get his name out there.”
Welcome to Mr. Floppy’s!
Luckily, one his tenants, Sarah Doppler, had no qualms.
Sarah is one of those free-spirited traveler types who pops into a city for a few months, makes a bunch of friends, and then disappears before she gets sucked into their drama. Very smart. The following interview took place in front of a bonfire in Sarah’s backyard.
SFBG: So where are you from, and how did you find yourself living in this weird floppy-house complex thing?
Sarah Doppler: I’m from Seattle, Washington and I moved to the Bay Area about 4 months ago. I needed to find a room so I just answered an ad on Craigslist. It said “Female Artists Wanted: $400.” So I came and checked it out one night. It was really creepy because there are all these pianos and statues and about 50 dark rooms throughout the place. It’s like a maze with weird art and raccoons and this huge backyard by the freeway where I can chill with all my homies.
SFBG: Yeah, dude, I just spent twenty minutes looking for the bathroom and finally had to leave when I accidentally barged in on a film crew and a bunch of vampires eating fried chicken. What’s up with that?
Doppler: Oh man, this place is amazing! There’s that saloon right behind my room; that’s where you were. It’s fully decked out with mahogany and stained glass and it’s been there since the 1880’s. There are pictures of Jack London all over the place and my landlord rents it out to movie studios. They do a lot of horror flicks back there. The vampires have been chillin’ for weeks. I got drunk with them last night.
Sarah Doppler, flopper.
Dodge that turkey, tipsy
By Justin Juul
People with addictive personalities tend to bounce back and forth between incredible productivity and unchecked hedonism. They may spend years diligently pursuing a goal — like grad school or becoming a respected journalist — only to risk fucking it all up upon near-completion by developing an obsession with alcohol and speed. Some addicts – the smart ones like Andy Dick — have learned to catch themselves before they fall too far, while others – like Britney Spears — simply lose their minds and cascade into insanity. If you spent last Thanksgiving, oh say, coked out of your mind at a house in the Mission with a bunch of people you barely knew (ahem), you might want to think about changing things up this year with a light meal and some after-dinner dodgeball at Dolores Park. You can still have a few drinks of course, but the elementary-schoolishness of the whole deal, plus the physical exertion, should keep you from overdoing it. Plus: balls!
3rd Annual Thanksgiving Dodgeball
Thurs, Nov 22. 9pm – past Midnight, free
@ The Dolores Park Tennis Court
Near 18th ST & Church ST, SF
http://sanfrancisco.going.com/invite-16135
Ugly dogs need love too
Intrepid reporter Justin Juul hits the streets each week for our Meet Your Neighbors series, interviewing the Bay Area folks you’d like to know most.
I was reading a newspaper in the doorway of Mama’s Market one day when an old golden retriever appeared, unattended, with a happy look on his face. I did the natural thing and bent down to give him a little pat, but recoiled in horror just as my hand was closing in. The poor dog’s feet were mangled and bent and his back was spotted and hairless with huge weird-looking bumps sticking out in all directions. He looked up at me with his cute little dog eyes, pleading for attention, but I just couldn’t do it. I quickly shuffled inside to grab some beer instead, feeling like a dick.
I thought I was in clear as I approached the check out counter, but there at the end of the line was the dog and his owner. I had no choice but to stand behind them and wait for the dog to snuggle up to me again. I tried to contain my disgust as he got closer and closer, but then stepped back and blurted “uh…what’s wrong with your dog?” The lady just rolled her eyes and bent down to give the dog a big hug. “There’s nothing wrong with him,” she said. “Sam’s just as good as any dog out there.” She went on to tell me that she had adopted Sam from an organization that rescues abused canines. Sam had been tortured for years, but was now living the high-life with this woman, Mary E. Fahey, the owner of a dog-walking service called Chattanooga Pooches and Kitty Cats 2. I got to know Fahey over the next few days and eventually sat down with her at her house to learn more about Sam, the ugly golden retriever.
SFBG: So, Mary. Where are you from and why did you choose to settle in SF?
Mary Fahey: I came here in the ‘80s. I was in a high tech graphics company, installing computers and stuff. They transferred me from NYC to Nor Cal and then I lost my job right afterwards. This was in the dark ages, right before the personal computer came out. The whole game changed as soon as I got out here and everything I had learned was quickly becoming obsolete. Things were becoming kind of cut-throat around here.
SFBG: How’d you get into dog-walking?
Fahey: Well I got back into the computer industry for a while and suddenly I was just too old. Well, I didn’t think I was too old, but people were looking at me, like, you’re too old. At this point I had a dog walker, but I had to let her go. I sat around the house for a while after that, just gaining ten pounds a day, feeling sorry for myself. And then my old dog walker asked me for some help and I said okay. I’ve been doing it ever since…almost 15 years now.
The Syrian perspective on American empire
The U.S. is playing a dangerous and disingenuous game in the Middle East, Syria’s ambassador to the U.S. Imad Moustapha said last night at the Commonwealth Club. Yet he remains hopeful that peace will eventually prevail in that troubled region, saying “we believe peace between the Arabs and Israelis is inevitable.”
But first, the Bush Administration needs to stop demonizing and refusing to engage with countries like Syria and Iran and with democratically elected factions like Hezbollah, and to stop hindering peace talks. He said the White House was the biggest barrier to Syria reaching a peace treaty with Israel, and he predicted the Middle East peace conference that the Bush Administration called for the end of November will be a failure, mostly because there has been no preliminary work done, unlike most peace conferences that are preceded by frenzied diplomatic efforts to set the agenda and talk about a framework for discussions.
“We don’t seriously believe that this is a peace conference that will lead to anywhere,” Moustapha said. “Forgive us if we deduce that this is only about a photo opportunity and about people in Washington, D.C., telling their electorate, ‘Look, don’t accuse us of only starting wars; we’re working for peace in the Middle East.’ “
SF’s skatepark crisis
By Justin Juul
After attending SF360 Film+Club’s recent screening of Freedom of Space — a film about the harsh realities of enjoying an illegal sport– and then meeting some friends in a Safeway parking lot for a midnight skate-jam on some shitty ramps, the only thing I can say is: Why the fuck hasn’t anyone built a decent skatepark in this city?
All the elements have been present for over a decade: thousands of people who would come to a park if there was one, business owners who are sick of calling the cops on skateboarders, cops who are sick of wasting their time, and a huge base of high-profile companies like High Speed Productions (Thrasher, Slap, Juztapoz), DLX Distribution (Spitfire, Thunder, Anti-hero, etc.), FTC and Huf that could easily ante up some funds for a project. And why doesn’t SF have something like The Burnside Project in Portland? Are SF skaters just too lazy, or is there some force working against them? Rather than go off on an un-researched rant about the SF skate community not doing its job, I thought I’d talk to someone who’s been in the trenches for a while.
The Burnside Project in Portland
To find out more about the reality of SF’s skate park struggle I spoke to Rick Dinardo, Co-Founder of the Bay Area Skate-park Coalition.
SFBG: So Rick, my main question is: Why doesn’t San Francisco, the birth place of modern day street skating, have a decent park?
Rick Dinardo: Oh my god, how much time do you have? Before I get into it, though, you should realize that San Francisco finally is getting a good centrally-located skatepark. It’s going to be in Portrero Hill, right by the regular park that’s been there for years. As for why it’s taken the city 30 years to get off its ass and build one, well, that has to do with red tape, real estate, government corruption, lack of interest, and a whole lot of other bullshit, mostly money related.
SFBG: Well okay, I understand it’s difficult to get licenses and land and all that, but why haven’t all the huge skateboard companies, especially the ones that capitalize on their SF roots, why haven’t they gotten together and just fucking done the thing? It seems like they have enough money to at least fund a DIY project if not something as amazing as Rob Dyrdek’s deal in Kettering, Ohio.
Dinardo: First of all, I think you’re overestimating how much money these companies are making. These parks cost millions and millions of dollars, and that’s in places like Scott’s Valley where there is still open space for building. Land prices in SF are out of this fucking world. Whatever those companies chose to donate would be a drop in the bucket in a situation like this.
Also… I don’t think the companies you mentioned are very community oriented. I mean, this is capitalism we’re talking about, and they’re trying to make money, not sustain a community. I don’t think they care as much about supporting skateboarding in SF as they do about making the sport popular across the globe.
Free bike lights
It’s always good to get something for nothing, and with daylight savings time ending this weekend, it’s an especially good time to get free lights for your bicycle this evening from 5-7 p.m., courtesy of the Municipal Transportation Agency and the San Francisco Bicycle Coalition. Details and locations in the following press release.