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Seven Hells of SF: The road to hell is paved with potholes


By Kat Renz

Rounding the peaks. All photos by Frank Chan. View more here.

“When gas is five bucks a gallon, I’m joining you!” An excellent sentiment shouted by a supportive driver on the afternoon of Saturday, June 21, from her idling car. And it was something I’d been thinking all day, that the three dozen other velophiles with whom I was riding the city’s most vertical inclines, officially dubbed “The Seven Hells of SF Bike Tour” were the badasses who’d easily contend with the realities – at least the personal transportation ones — of the fast approaching shitstorm called peak oil. Yet would the driver have expressed the same enthusiasm had she witnessed our collective past five hours – including the four blocks of Divisadero we had triumphantly climbed to the finish line at Sacramento five minutes before?

You’ll recall from high school lit class that Dante’s version of hell had nine circles, and they were cold. This unique tour’s organizers’, Dan Reider and Frank Chan, rendition had seven hills, all scorchers, exacerbated by the fact we rode midday on the tail end of the very un-San Francisco summer heat wave.


“Maybe I’m the only idiot who’s done this three times.” Chan remarked once we were relaxing back at our starting point, the daisy-dotted grass at the east end of the Panhandle (Chan was also the only one with a gigantic camera dangling from his neck, and he still roasted most of us on the hills in order to document our agonizing glory). There’s a reason why the tour’s only offered about once every two years, as that seems to be the average recovery time. Regardless of our recently burning lungs and wobbly legs, at least three-fourths of our group of 42 finished, and all were stoked. One rider said it was the most fun (Fun?! Yep, fun.) he’d had in a long time, and another dared to suggest the tour should be offered more regularly.

The torturous route

In case you can’t wait another couple years and want to try the hell ride yourself, here’s a lowdown of the route’s most prominent peaks.

Pics: Some famous faces of Pride


Yes, rainbow people turned out in bliss-tipsy droves for Pride ’08, more than a million according to parade and festival organizers. Photographer Neil Motteram caught some shots of three of the Proud celebrities.

Supervisor Tom Ammiano

Margaret Cho (right) with Violet Blue (middle)

Margaret Cho, onstage

Cyndi Lauper looks thoughtful, frightened?

Giants: Don’t give up on us yet


Aaron Rowland

Giants: Don’t give up on us yet

By A.J. Hayes

The San Francisco Giants may still be 10 games under .500 and play like a recreational softball team in their home yard, but after last weekend’s series win on the “road” in the 510, the club was whistling an optimistic ditty that sounded an awful lot like the old David Soul ‘70s hit, “Don’t Give up on Us Baby.”

Despite several tube socks full of calamities this season – several not involving Barry Zito – that left the Giants lugging a 36-46 season record at the schedule’s midway point, San Francisco somehow found themselves only five games out of first place in the National League West.

That fact, along with the Giants first two wins over the Oakland A’s since last May, had the clubhouse buzzing with excitement Sunday afternoon.

“We’ve had our struggles no doubt about that,” said Giants manager Bruce Bochy. “But nobody is out of the race for the division. We feel we’re still in this thing.”

San Francisco centerfielder Aaron Rowand, who had yet to scrub the lamp black from his face following Sunday’s 11-1 throttling of the white bucks gang, told me exclusively:

“This division is up for grabs, there’s no reason why we can’t jump in the mix and be a part of it. We’ve had some really good games and we had some really rough games. But were capable of being much better than we are now. Everyone in here truly believes that we have an opportunity to be in the mix when September comes around.”

There, two people officially affiliated with club orange and black went on the record with pennant race talk and weren’t whisked off by the guys in the CATS van.

Yum! Local food party!


Picture 2.png

Munchies from Chez Panisse, Millenium, and Serpentine. Cubes of jack and cheddar from Spring Hill Cheese Company. Maybe a glass of sangiovese from Long Meadow Ranch or a rose from Berkeley’s Donkey and Goat winery. Cap it off with a slice of Mission Pie and scoops from Bi-Rite Creamery.

Damn. It would take all day to scoot around sampling all that, but they’ll be serving up together on Thursday down at Fort Mason, celebrating the annual release of the Bay Area Local Food Guide.

Coordinated by Community Alliance with Family Farmers (CAFF), the food guide is the primer of all things locally grown, grilled, and garnished. Listings include farms, wineries, markets, restaurants, caterers, bakers, and food artisans, and the implicit mission is to make more people travel less for sustenance.

CAFF’s raison d’etre is to link the people who grow the food with the people who cook it, sell it, and enjoy it. Skyrocketing food and fuel prices make the ideal of “buying local” even more of an imperative, so if you’ve been searching for the perfect CSA to deliver you a box of fresh veggies every week, or you’ve been meaning to somehow get more locally-grown food into your business’ bottom line…or you just like to eat lots of good food with fun people, maybe I’ll see you there.

The event is happening Thursday, June 26 from 4:30 to 8:30 pm.

Tickets are $30 and going fast at: www.BrownPaperTickets.com/event/34995

Check here for more details, a schedule of events, and a full list of foodies and drinkers.

The gayest wedding venue ever


By Janna Brancolini
Years ago, my family and I stayed in Dupont Circle area of Washington, D.C., the famously gay neighborhood of our nation’s capital. One morning we were walking to breakfast when my then 11-year-old brother exclaimed, much to my mother’s horror, “Mom, look at those fairies!”

“Nico, where did you hear that word?” my mom hissed quietly. “That is extremely rude, and we do not refer to gay people as ‘fairies.'”

“But Mom… they’re fairies,” he said, confused at her response and still pointing.

We all looked over. There, marching down the street, was a line of mostly middle-aged men in fairy wings and glitter, gay pride banners flapping in the wind.

If I were asked to describe the gayest wedding I could think of, it might therefore include fairy wings. But getting married in the middle of a giant pink triangle, during Pride Parade weekend, on a mountain that is visible from festivities, in the most gay-friendly city in the world, would probably suffice as well. And this weekend, that is exactly what San Franciscans will have the opportunity to do.

Free Farm Stand overfloweth


Guardian videographer Ariel Soto visits the Free Farm Stand and makes some leafy new friends.

Five big stories the sportwriters missed …


… and five more we wish they’d never covered

To much, too litte: Joba, Ramirz, Uggla

By A.J. Hayes

Like their colleagues in the hard news division, sportswriters under-report certain stories and blows others out of proportion. As the 2008 major league baseball season reaches its midpoint, we take a look at the five most underreported and the five most over hyped stories of the season so far.


The Yankees (Natch)

The closing of Yankee Cathedral, er, Stadium. A David Ortiz jersey buried in concrete at the “new” Yankee Stadium. Horse’s ass Hank Steinbrenner’s latest doltish remarks. Manager Joe Girardi’s secretive ways with the press. And, when, oh when, will Joba Chamberlain be moved into the starting rotation?

Stories that would otherwise be minor notes in other cities immediately turn into banner tabloid headlines when the name Yankees is attached. Call us when the Bronx Bombers leapfrog the Tampa Bay Rays.

Hair gel and haymakers: Michael the Boxer kicks ass, buzzes heads


By Philip Eil

If you think You Don’t Mess With the Zohan is just another escapist summer fantasy, think again. Ass-kicking hairstylists, unlike talking panda bears and aging, yet acrobatic archaeologists, really do exist. Just ask Michael Onello, the owner of Michael the Boxer, the only boxing gym/barbershop in the Bay Area. Michael is a boxing trainer/barber who offers both services – boxing and barbering — at his SOMA shop. I headed over there last Friday, looking for a buzz cut and advice on my right hook.

Michael, with the uppercut

I’ll admit, I had no idea what to expect from a haircut/boxing joint. The Rocky IV and Shampoo montages playing in my head seemed highly incompatible. But when I hopped in the barber’s chair and started talking with Michael, the place started to make sense. “My grandfather was a barber, my father was a barber,” he told me as he was trimming my sideburns. During the haircut, I flipped through a copy of his book, Boxing: The American Martial Art, A 12-week Course. “How’s that look?” he asked, holding a mirror up to the back of my neck. “Excellent,” I said. “When can I throw some punches?”

Cody’s closes, itty bitty book light in heaven goes out


So, alas, storied 50+-year-old Berkeley bookstore Cody’s, firebombed in the ’80s for displaying Salman Rushdie’s Satanic Verses, has closed rather abruptly due to flagging sales. I’m not going to go into the ironic narrative possibilities here — Rushdie was just in town this week to give a rare reading, and, like, where were the ubiquitous Berkeley treesitters protesting a legendary bookstore’s closure? Nor will this turn into another apocalyptic lecture on how the Internet is killing independent bookstores. I still retain vast hope that some can and will survive. Go shop a freakin’ independent bookstore, already! They’re awesome.

Photo from SFGate

Still, this news is pretty awful. The loss of a bookstore, to me, a complete ga-ga book hound and former indie bookstore manager, is a physical wound. If Amazon closed tomorrow, I’d miss nothing, remember vaguely. But I’ll always fondly recall the way the morning sun shone a certain way through Cody’s political books aisles and, a romantic Midwest native, thinking, “Cool. I’m in Berkeley, browsing through political books in the morning.”

Yes, there were some quality issues after the store moved from its original Telegraph location to Shattuck a little while ago. And sure, it could have concentrated more on used and antiquarian book sales, the last line of many indie booksellers’ defense. But, dudes, Cody’s closed. That’s kind of freaky. I’ll miss it.

Pics: Juneteenth ’08 celebrates slavery’s end at City Hall


By Ariel Soto


Juneteenth, also known as Freedom Day or Emancipation Day, is a celebration of the abolition of slavery in Texas and is recognized as a state holiday in 29 states. On June 20th, a Juneteenth celebration was held in front of City Hall in San Francisco. The event included live music, from gospel to hip-hop and salsa. Vendors displayed traditional African wares such as mud cloths and big woven hats. Artists sold their creations, some with the images of famous African American activists on them and visitors at the fair relaxed in lawn chairs, soaking up the sun and sipping on free coffee samples. Later in the afternoon there was a lively procession, with a marching band, horseback riding and Assemblyman Mark Leno tossing candy to on-lookers. As always, it was a classic, fun-for-all San Francisco cultural event.






Towards Carfree Cities: San Franciscans in the house


Steven T. Jones reports from the Towards Carfree Cities conference in Portland.
A Portland street corner.

San Francisco has a large contingent here at the Towards Carfree Cities conference. And judging from the size and engagement of the crowd at the “Battle for San Francisco (1992-2008): From Critical Mass to Congestion Pricing” workshop that some of us just presented, people around the world are carefully watching what we’re doing.

I moderated a panel made up of author and activist Chris Carlsson, geography professor Jason Henderson, San Francisco Bicycle Coalition executive director Leah Shahum, and Dave Snyder, the transportation policy director for the San Francisco Planning and Urban Research Association.

Other San Francisco area presenters have included architect David Baker talking about “Better Living through Density,” Mike Smith with NextBus, activist Jason Meggs on trolleys, Henderson of freeway revolts, and Gus Yates of Berkeley-based Carfree USA, who gave a fascinating presentation on how Treasure Island could be a carfee project and what he was told by the developers when he presented the idea (I’ll do a post on that later).

In our session, Snyder described how and why the activism of cyclists has driven the larger carfree movement: “The bicycle movement is where it’s at in terms of community organization.” But all agreed that promotion of the bicycle as a viable urban transportation option is a means to larger ends. As Carlsson said, “Bicycling is not the end, but it’s a piece to the larger movement.”

The discussion was really interesting and I hope to include a link to the audio from the session in the next few days. But in the meantime, here’s a report on the conference from Snyder, who has been working within this movement for more than 15 years.

SPORTS: Ron Hunt, baseball’s pincushion, reveals his secrets



By A.J. Hayes

If anyone can relate to John Mellencamp’s hit “Hurts So Good,” it’s former San Francisco Giants second baseman Ron Hunt.

While some batters hit for power and others hit for average. Hunt just got hit. And hit. And hit. And hit.

During his dozen seasons National League career with the Mets, Giants, Expos and Cardinals, Hunt was tattooed by an incredible 243 pitches.

He was nailed by future Hall of Famers such as Bob Gibson, Sandy Koufax and Jim Bunning, as well as journeyman such as Mike Garman, Don Wilson and Bob Priddy.

No matter the hurler’s pedigree, Hunt said the thrown baseballs hurt all the same.

And on just about all of them Hunt had to suppress a grin as he hobbled to first base.

“Heck, getting plunked kept me in the big leagues for 12 seasons,” Hunt, now 67, said at a recent reunion of Giants infielders “I didn’t mind it one bit.”

More day 2 pics: Fierce gay wedding bells aflame


Guardian photographer Charles Russo reports from City Hall.


Amber Weiss and Sharon Papo of Berkeley make their way to City Hall’s rotunda for their marriage ceremony.

After being together for 25 years, Tom Poon (left) and John Srinka celebrate as legal spouses.

Vanessa Angeles (left) and Michelle Julaton show off their marriage certificate.


Homonuptial stories: Persian sugar cones, matching fedoras, and princess bouquets


Janna Brancolini reports from City Hall

Photo by Ariel Soto

At 3 pm, everyone in the City Hall rotunda erupted into cheers as two women in beautiful white gowns walked down the grand stairway.

I glanced over at a nearby sign, “Quiet Please. Business of the City and County of San Francisco is in progress,” which was being thoroughly ignored despite its strategic location.

Cameras flashed as the two women pumped their brightly colored bouquets in the air, grinning and cheering like excited kids at a birthday party.

String music floated through the air, and the hall’s echoing acoustics made it difficult to determine which direction it was coming from. I later identified the lone violinist on the second floor balcony, who was creating enough sound to be heard from everywhere in the room.

The women in white, like every other couple getting married today, were greeted with cupcakes, congratulations, and camera companies, in addition to the applause.

The marriage stations, unceremoniously identified with folding plywood chairs and “Ceremony Location X” printed on plain white paper, seemed to all be on the second floor.

2 cute. Photo by Charles Russo

Although the sites of the ceremonies were less than impressive, they afforded an incredible view and an attention-grabbing exit. Every couple had to descend the great stone steps.

During their descents, the couples were backlit by a small dome, stone carvings, and arches. Cherubic stone carvings in the walls decorated the scene, and the third-story windows leaked natural light into the room. The scene kept reminding me of a fairy tale wedding, as the princess gracefully leaves the balcony and walks down the stairs with all eyes on her.

City Hall day 2 pics: Love reigns supreme


Guardian photog Ariel Soto reports from City Hall

About every five minutes the air was filled with the sounds of cheering and applause as newly-wed couples made their way down the huge marble steps of San Francisco’s City Hall. Cupcakes were handed out, there was music and so many flashing bulbs that I think everyone felt like a celebrity. Love reigns supreme!






Homonuptial stories: Cupcakes and a chuppa for same-sex newlyweds


Maria Denzio reports from City Hall

Along with cheering demonstrators waving signs and banners of encouragement for the same-sex couples emerging from City Hall this morning were representatives of some local churches – religious leaders of various faiths, all showing their support in ways just as diverse.

The Unitarian Universalist Church delegation brought more than 200 celebratory cupcakes for couples and wedding party members. Members of the non-denominational Universal Life Church handed out flyers with scheduling information for wedding ceremonies.

Cupcakes! Photo by Ariel Soto

And for Jewish couples, Congregation Sha’ar Zahav was on hand with a chuppah, under which pictures were taken amidst much singing and cheering. “It’s a symbol of sanctity over the covenant of marriage,” said congregation member Chayarivka Mayerson, who held one of the canopy’s four supporting poles. The Ketubah was also present for couples to sign as a symbol of the marriage bond. “Anyone who supports the marriage signs it,” said Mayerson.

Congregation Sha’ar Zahav expects to see a bounty of marriage ceremonies performed in the coming weeks, according to Rabbinical Student Intern Rubin Zellman. “A lot of our members are using this window of opportunity to get married before November,” he said. But ceremonies are not limited to members of the congregation. Sha’ar Zahav, which has performed same-sex marriages for 30 years, is opening its doors to all Jewish couples, including ones from a sister congregation in New York. (If you want to make an appointment, you can call them at 861-6932.)

Mayerson’s brother will be marrying his partner next week. “I’m so excited,” she said. “Now my family is legitimate.”

Homonuptial stories: Sarah and Kristina


Maria Dinzeo reports from City Hall on some of the same-sex couples getting married today.

Every couple has a different tale, and same-sex couples are no exception. Some met and fell in love at school; some found love in a bar.

Sarah Good and Kristina Ramos met in Charlottesville, VA, where Good was a law student and Ramos as a graduate student in English. They have been together 20 years, waiting for the right to marry.

So how did they know they were right for one another? “How does anyone know?” said Ramos. Good point.

Michael Gerber said he met husband Tony Paredes “after the bars on Folsom Street closed on a seedy Saturday night.”

“Oh don’t say that!” laughed Paredes, a burly bearded gentleman whose grey suit jacket matched Gerber’s.

For both couples, this day has been a long time coming. Gerber and Paredes have been together 13 years and were first married in 2004, mostly as an act of civil disobedience. Now they are marrying for a second time, and they hope it will be the last. “I’ve been out for a long time, and I never thought in my wildest dreams that this could really be happening,” said Gerber, beaming. “It’s very affirming, and it makes you feel good to have your marriage recognized by society,” he said.

While Good and Ramos recently took a three-week vacation to Australia, “as our retroactive honeymoon,” Gerber and Paredes will head off to Glacier National Park in Montana for two weeks. “We both enjoy road trips and we’ve been to many national parks,” said Gerber. “We’re from the City so we like to get out of Dodge as much as we can.” But don’t expect them to be pitching tents. Said Gerber, “my idea of camping is a room and a shower.”

Homonuptial stories: Marc and Charles


Maria Dinzeo reports from City Hall on some of the same-sex couples getting married today.

Marc Benson and Charles Sullivan descended the City Hall steps this morning amidst a thunder of applause and a flurry of flags and signs, one of which read, “It’s a Nice Day for Gay Wedding.” For this pair of high-school sweethearts, nothing could be more true. Although the two have been together 27 years, it wasn’t until today that a decision from California’s Supreme Court allowed them to formalize their commitment with a marriage ceremony.

Benson and Sullivan grew up together in Long Island, New York, and attended the same grammar and high schools, but did not become a couple until Benson went off to college. There, Benson befriended “a very persuasive lesbian” named Maxine. “She threatened me with bodily harm if I didn’t tell Charles how I felt about him,” said Benson.

The two married in 2004, when Gavin Newsom defied California law by issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, but as with all same-sex marriages performed at that time, it was voided in August 2004 by the state Supreme Court. “It bothers me that so many have tried to defeat this,” said Benson.

Sullivan said they registered for their marriage license online a month ago, as soon as they heard the court’s ruling. “I work for the city attorney who has been arguing this case, so I’ve been following it closely,” he said.

In spite of their many years together, Benson and Sullivan have had little difficulty maintaining the spark in their relationship. “I’ve never really stopped to think about why our relationship works so well,” said Benson. “Charles is very tolerant and patient with me. He lets me do anything I want.”

Though the two have no immediate plans to adopt children (their hectic work schedules prevent them), they plan to celebrate their nuptials with a party in October and a honeymoon in Patagonia.

Same-sex marriage: Supreme Court’s big “F- You”


The remarkable logic behind the historic legal decision

By Melissa Griffin of sweetmelissa.typepad.com

Photo by Charles Russo

I am positively giddy! As of yesterday at 5 p.m., the California State Supreme Court’s May 15th same-sex marriage ruling took effect. The County Clerk’s office began issuing marriage licenses at 5:01 p.m.

In this post, I’ma try to give you the basic reasoning in the ruling (which is here: Download supreme_court_opinion.pdf). Obviously, squeezing the 121-page ruling into a three-page word document necessitated leaving out a number of nuances. Specifically, I’ve tried to give you the affirmative reasoning here and will follow-up with a second piece on how the Court shot down the arguments against gay marriage.

As I walked to City Hall from the BART station yesterday to witness this marvelous moment, the first sign I saw was a large yelIow one that read “Recriminalize Sodomy.” And I had to chuckle because these folks had clearly not read the decision.

See, the California State Supreme Court’s decision contains a Technicolor “Eff You” that beats any chant or hiss I could muster. Not only did the Court summarily reject the notion that heterosexuals would be harmed by extending to gay people the right to marry, it also made quick work of the defendants’ argument that “tradition” is somehow a rational justification for preserving heterosexual marriage.

Thanks to prior civil rights movements, court cases are rife with precedent for change in the traditional way things have been done. (Women being afforded the right to serve on juries, for example.) One chant aimed at the religious folks holding anti-gay signs on steps of City Hall could have been written by the justices themselves:

“Racist, sexist, anti-gay; fascist Christians go away!”

Homonuptials: Roiling crowds on Day 1 — pics


Guardian photog Charles Russo shot the crowd outside City Hall yesterday.

A newlywed prelude to Tuesday’s wedding mania?

Though fairly small in number, the anti-gay marriage sect was highly visible Monday evening as several hundred gathered outside of San Francisco’s City Hall.

San Franciscan Jana Barber (“I’m here to support love”) gives an earful to Bill Hampsmire (“Perverts Repent”) of Christians for God — um, what else would they be for? — outside of City Hall on Monday evening.

The wonderful politics of gay marriage


I was listinging to Forum this morning on my way to work and although a few complete idiots called in, most of the talk was about how great it is that California now has legal same-sex marriage. I was struck by one caller who announced, with a kind of bemused confidence, that the protests and acrimony are really old news and will soon by ancient history.

The man, who identified himself as straight and 30 years old, said that when his generation takes control of this country, same-sex marraige will be legal, accepted and no longer an issue at all.

Michael Krasny, the host, pointed out that there are stil some young, religious types who oppose gay marriage, but the called shrugged that off. Sure, there are a few, and there will always be a few bigots and nuts around, but in fact, even the young religious types aren’t as adamant about this issue. When you grow up exposed to something as part of your culture, you come to accept it, the man said.

Yeah, I know, when I was in college I thought that when my generation took control, pot would be legal and war would be outlawed, but this guy is right. The wonderful politics of same-sex marraige is that fact that the battle is over, and we’ve won.

When two 80-year-olds who had fought all their lives for basic human rights and dignity took their vows from a mayor about half a century younger than them, it was both a victory celebration and a passing of the torch. Thanks to older queer pioneers like Lyon and Martin, and the generation that followed them, homosexuality is now a part of mainstream American society. Queers are everywhere, literally — on TV, in the movies, in magazines, in comedy, in popular music, in professional sports, going to high-school proms … and that’s never going to change.

So the religious right can make a last gasp attempt to overturn the Supreme Court decision, but that’s going to fail. The tide has turned.

Homonuptials: More Day 1 wedding shots


Guardian photog Ariel Soto got these shots of Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin’s wedding at City Hall yesterday, as well as some of the celebratory crowd outside.

The view from City Hall steps

Spiralling toward matrimony

Phyl and Del (in wheelchair) cutting the gorgeous Citizen Cake cake

Joined by the glowing, and glowing-haired, mayor

Ariel says: “From my perch up in the balcony of city hall, looking down at the throngs of media and a beautiful white cake, my heart started beating faster and faster because I was about to witness a true piece of much awaited and much deserved history — the first legal same-sex marriage of Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin on June 16th in San Francisco’s City Hall. The couple was greeted with lots of love and joy and loud cheering, along with the huge crowd outside the court house who were also joining in with the festivities, passing out flowers, singing songs and just being darn happy that this day has finally arrived. Congrats Phyllis and Del on your much awaited marriage — and may your love and courage live on forever!”

Well-wishers from above

Homonuptials: Phyl and Del’s wedding, as seen from outside


Hunky Beau and I hightailed it down to City Hall at 5pm today to (we hoped) catch Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin, San Francisco’s first legally married same-sex couple — and the city’s only one today, symbolically — emerge triumphantly onto the hall’s steps, frantically waving their newly imbued license to the roar of a supportive crowd.

The crowd of hundreds eagerly awaits

Tired, usual bigots in their corner

Signs of support

That crowd was sprinkled with hometown stars, including Ron, former owner of the much-missed Josie’s Cabaret and Juice Joint in the Castro and comedian Scott Capurro, who kept the waiting crowd in giggles with occasional surreal outbursts.

Yep, we’re gay

Same-sex equality: From dongs to ding-dong-dings


OK, so this is it. This is the day I’m finally equal. No longer a “second class citizen” — in California at least, the third biggest state with the largest population in the good ol’ US of Gay. Today at 5pm, two precious octagenarian lesbians will legally tie the knot at San Francisco City Hall, and tomorrow I’ll have access to the last state right denied to me on the basis of which side I butter my queer toast. Weird.

Will I suddenly walk taller? Will my shoulders expand and my chest inflate? Will I finally fall prey to all that Sex and the City hoo-ha and watch my moods swing from Blahnik pump to Wang gown with every hysterical cosmo and Cosmo I down? Or will I become the stereotypical male role model — unable to commit to an ice cream flavor or credit card company, let alone matrimony.

Gurl, we already had Sex and the City in the ’40s. From www.queermusicheritage.us

Maybe worse, as someone whose queer identity was partly formed by saying “who cares” to marriage, because there’s more pressing problems confronting the community — now that that stance is officially a personal rather than a political statement, what will happen to my politics? “Who cares.”

Mostly, and oddly, though, I found myself waking up this morning itching for a fight.