By Juliette Tang
Isabella Rossellini is a woman who wears many hats. Actress, model, writer, philanthropist. Now, Rossellini can add “filmmaker specializing in animal pornography” to that already impressive list. “When needed, I can have an erection six feet long and stick it inside a female,” exclaims Isabella Rossellini, clothed not in her standard designer fare, but in a paper mache whale costume, of which the defining characteristic is an attachment of a giant pink penis in full erection.
Hallelujah, season two of Green Porno is underway!
Rossellini writes, directs, and lends her acting chops to the quirky Green Porno series, which features the actress, donned in hilarious animal costumes, describing the various mating habits of members of the animal kingdom. The series is winsome and fun, not just because of Rossellini’s infectious charm, but also because of the wonderful craftsmanship of Andy Byers, a Brooklyn-based artist who created all the sets and costumes. His costumes are hand-made, crafts-influenced, and seeped in an adult’s residual nostalgia for bad elementary school Halloween costumes meticulously made by well-intetioned mothers hungry for Kodak moments. There’s also the fact of Rossellini’s sexy, ambiguously European accent, with its traces of Italian and Swedish, which lends richness and whimsy to phrases like “Penises, different penises, all trying to get as close as possible to my eggs!” The series is peppered with Rossellini’s cheeky and good-natured translations of beastial intercourse, and pronouncements like “we are sequential hermaphrodites” reminds me very much of a Polish biology teacher I once had, who always confused the term “organism” with “orgasm,” to jocular result.