By G.W. Schulz
Photos by Mirissa Neff
METAL HANDS: A GESTURAL GLOSSARY
Every metal show contains plenty of dudes who merely headbang softly to themselves with their hands stuffed into the pockets of their tight black hoodies. A sea of empty faces they are. What fun is that? In honor of our metal issue this week, here are a few ways you can cheerlead the next time you’re at a metal show.
Classic horns A staid gesture to be sure — but fairly reliable. You know the drill here. Turn it to the side and pump it like a fist for added pleasure.
The Claw When deploying just one hand to exhibit the claw, as opposed to the invisible orbs, bring it close to your face and pull downward for a melodramatic affect. Growl a little, too, like it just can’t get any more metal … when deep down you know it really can.
Land ho There’s really never been a sufficient name for outright pumping your fist or fists at a show, but some folks around here are calling it "land ho." It’s better off with no distinct title. Fist pumping during violent blastbeats or a huge, doomy breakdown is raw and organic, like the beginning of time. It needs no name. And it spans genres. We advise, however, that you reserve dual fists for truly metal moments. The members of Portland, Ore.’s Tragedy have been known to throw out a fist or two while playing, but this is extremely dangerous and should be done by professionals only.
Invisible orbs This is a variation of the Claw, except that you do it with both hands and hold them out in front of you rather than near your face, as if you’re holding two invisible orbs. We contend that the invisible orbs should be savored while you’re listening to Scandinavian metal or anything heavily influenced by it. If you scan the artwork on old black metal records, the bands are often posing with some version of the orbs, gritting their teeth and trying to look as menacing as possible.