What the hell is happening to young Hollywood? Nicole’s maybe heading to jail (with a Good Charlotte bun in the oven); Paris was in the clink and out of the clink and back in the clink again; Britney’s on the threshold of a full-scale meltdown (and you thought the head-shaving thing was the worst it could get); and now LiLo – the only member of this skanky club that actually has discernable talent – is back in trouble with the law, recent rehab stint be damned.
What can we learn from Lohan’s troubles? In her hour of need, let’s turn to some of her finer song lyrics. Newly poignant meanings abound. Cries for help lurk between every rhyme. Who cares if she didn’t actually write ‘em all – she sang ‘em, man. Conjecture away!