By Justin Juul
“I don’t know what it is about women, but I will go to my grave wanting to pet their butts and boobs.” — Kurt Vonnegut
If Mr. Vonnegut had been born 50 years later, his famous quote might read something more like I don’t know what it is about women, but I will go to my grave wanting to spank their asses. What? Haven’t you heard? Spanking is the new hugging. Everyone’s doing it. And it’s totally natural too. Behind-the-scenes activities may differ from relationship to relationship, but nearly all of them involve some sort of spanking ritual. My girlfriend, for example, gets spanked whenever she reaches for fruit from the bottom drawer of the fridge. She gets it when she’s tying her shoes, petting her cat, and well, anytime really. And she loves it! (I hope.) But alas, there’s a stigma attached to spanking. It’s something only immoral sex freaks do, some people say. Well, this is San Francisco and we say spank away.
But how, you ask. Well, there are plenty of ways to slap an ass. But, as with most things, it’s best to get some guidance. Thank god for Good Vibrations. And thank god for Rosy Cheeks, the store’s new spanking instructor. Apparently, while the rest of us were out stuffing our faces and drinking eggnog over the holiday break, Ms. Cheeks was drafting the lesson plan for her new class, Hot Spanking, which she’ll be teaching in March at The Good Vibrations store on Polk Street. Too late for Valentine’s Day — but springtime’s coming, people. Time to get that ass in gear!
Hot Spanking
March 18, 8pm-10pm
$25 pre-register/$30 drop-in
Good Vibrations
1620 Polk Street, SF
(415) 345-0400
www.goodvibes.com