Intrepid man-on-the-streets Justin Juul discovers the joys of dropping the Pabst and carving a damn pumpkin for once.
The magic, the mystery of …. the unipumpkorn. Fly, Starfire, fly!
Have you ever seen those professionally carved pumpkins on TV and wondered, how the hell did they do that? Well, I figured it out. Here are the step by step instructions to creating the most awesome pumpkins ever.
1. Go down to Half Moon Bay for some really cheap pumpkins.
2. Find a stencil on the internet. If you have time you should look for an image you really like and then create your own stencil in Photoshop. If you don’t have time you should just search for stencils someone else has already made.
3. Print the stencil out and tape it to your pumpkin.
4. Take a regular pen and trace the image, pressing just hard enough to make an indention without ripping through the paper.
5. Remove the paper.
Step 1 (wheelbarrow provided, scruffy hipster not included)
6. Go back over the grooves you just made with a permanent pen or marker so that you can see them.
7. Take an Exacto knife and cut the lines out. This is the hardest part and will probably take about two hours. Remember, you’re not cutting all the way through the pumpkin. You’re goal is to remove the skin. Have a paper towel ready because pumpkins are juicy.
8. When you have the skin removed, cut a hole in the top and remove all the shit.
9. Take a large spoon and scrape the wall behind your stencil until you can see light coming though. Just be sure not to pierce the skin.
10. Pop a candle in that son of a bitch and put it on your stoop.
This one says “fucking awesome” — and it is!