Sorry, Ilinois gets the stimulus first

Pub date February 22, 2009
SectionBruce Blog

Barry Schrader, a former government affairs officer for the Livermore Lab and retired in Illinois, sent along this joke that is making the rounds out there. It explains how the stimulus plan will work. B3

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from California. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The California contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $1,800: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.” The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.”
The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.” “Done!” replies the White House chief of staff. And that is how the new stimulus plan will work.

—As per Sen. Tombstone Burris