Next Obama will encounter such terrifying inhuman threats as the Lobbyist Vampires of Capitol Hill, American werewolves in Baghdad, the Ethanol children of the corn, Nightmare on Wall Street, and the Texas oil profits chainsaw massacre
By Will Durst
(Will Durst is a comedian who writes sometimes. This is one of them.)
It is the stuff of nightmares. Hear the shabby shuffle of their soft somnambulant stutter and your skin begins to crawl. To see their haunted hollow eyes on the cable news shows taking no notice of their surroundings is a spiral straight into terror. The worst part is the cries of the children as they cower behind couches, hands over their ears blocking out the monotonous intonations of the mind numbing mantra- “Tax Cuts. Tax Cuts. Tax Cuts.” They are the Tax Cut Zombies from the Planet No!, and they are not of this earth. Okay, maybe they are, but they sure don’t live in the real world.