Valentine's Day

On the Cheap Listings

Andrew Lam
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WEDNESDAY 8

Aphrodesia Afterhours Valentine’s Day Conservatory of Flowers, Golden Gate Park, 100 John F. Kennedy, SF. (415) 831-2090, www.conservatoryofflowers.org. 6 p.m.-10 p.m., $10.

Chocolate is hands down the best part of Valentine’s Day. Join local chocolatier TCHO’s chief chocolate guru, Brad Kintzer, for his demonstration on how to transform beans into bliss. Afterwards, grab a love potion from the Cocktail Lab, frolic amongst the orchids, and enjoy a live performance by Le Quartet de Jazz. Remember to take a picture in the photobooth — a night dedicated to chocolate is a night to remember.

Love on Wheels dating game Public Works, 161 Erie, SF. (415) 932-0955, www.sfbike.org. 6 p.m., $5 for SF Bicycle Coalition members; $10 for non-members. The cutest people always seem to be railing past each other on their bikes. The SF Bicycle Coalition is going to sit all you guys down so you can date already. Lovebirds will quiz three potential dates (hidden from view) and go on a date provided by one of the sponsors. This annual tradition is a cute hoot.

THURSDAY 9

“Animal Attraction” NightLife aquarium gallery and sex talk California Academy of Sciences, 55 Music Concourse, SF. (415) 379-8000, www.calacademy.org. 6 p.m.-10 p.m., $12. Cal Academy’s weekly Thursday evening party, NightLife, is launching a new gallery for fish-lovers (and friends!) with a series of reproduction-themed talks. Various experts will be talking about mating strategies in the animal kingdom, penis bones of different species, and the sex life of Zodiac signs. Dr. Carol Queen from Good Vibrations will be sharing her knowledge about the science of orgasms. So let’s do like they do on the Discovery Channel.

“Cupid’s Back” sixth annual Valentine’s Day party Supperclub, 657 Harrison, SF. (415) 348-0900, cupidsback.kintera.org. 8 p.m.-midnight, $30-35. Gay charity impressario Mark Rhoades is back — like Cupid, you might say — with this popular shindig that brings together oodles of hot men. DJ Juanita More will fluff the crowd, and it all goes to help out our invaluable GLBT Historical Society. Shoot your arrow and it goes real high …

“Go Deep” lube wrestling for the boys El Rio, 3158 Mission, SF. (415) 379-8000, www.calacademy.org/events/nightlife. 8 p.m.-11:30 p.m., $10–<\d>$15. What says romance more than watching half-naked queer boys with fantastical monikers like Yogzar and Red Dragon wrestling in a vat of lube? Slide your way into V-Day at this monthly grip ‘n slip put on by neo-Vaudevillian troupe SF Boylesque, with DJ Drama Bin Laden, a performance by the Bohemian Brethren, and Cajon food from Family Meal available on the back patio.

FRIDAY 10

Bardot A Go Go Pre-Valentine’s Dance Rickshaw Stop, 155 Fell, SF. (415) 861-2011, www.bardotagogo.com. 9 p.m., $10. “Music by French people for everybody” is the motto of the neato longtime roving Bardot A Go Go — and that includes a bubbly beretful of cute folks who revel in 1960s pop glamour filtered through contemporary va-va-voom. Live band Nous Non Plus is très adorable, and DJs Pink Frankenstein, Brother Grimm, and Cali Kid bring French kisses galore. Plus: free hairstyling by Peter Thomas Hair Design, d’accord.

I Heart Some Thing The Stud, 399 9th St., SF. (415) 863-6623, www.studsf.com. 10 p.m.-late, $8. “We love love! We just love it!” scream the awesome queens of Some Thing, the mind-altering weekly friday drag show and party at the Stud. You may detect a hint of the sardonic in there, but the smart Some Thingers always cover their bases with a healthy dose of sincerity to go with the staged pop culture send-ups. heart-shaped performers include Glamamore, Manicure Versace, Cricket Bardot, and Nikki Sixx Mile. Afterhours dancing, too.

Mortified’s Annual Doomed Valentine’s Show DNA Lounge, 375 11th St., SF. (415) 626-1409, www.getmortified.com. 7:30 p.m., $14 adv; $21 at door. Do you remember your first kiss when you went in for the gold, missed completely, and your lips puckered mid-air? Well, the folks at Mortified sure do. They have sorted through the oldest and nerdiest notebooks, letters, photos, and shoeboxes so that they can share with you their most humiliating romantic encounters. Reinvigorate your disdain for this holiday by taking comedic comfort in the mishaps of these thick-skinned Valentine’s veterans.

Ninth Annual Food from the Heart Festival Ferry Building Marketplace, 1 Ferry Building, SF. (415) 983-8000, www.ferrybuildingmarketplace.com. Through Saturday. 5:30-8 p.m., free entrance. Nothing says “I love you” like food. Give the gift of a happy stomach to your lover this Valentine’s in the candlelit Grand Nave of the Ferry Building, with a night of dancing and eating. Revel in the magic of the waterfront, sip on wine poured by local Napa Vinters, and taste a scrumptious hors-d’oeuvre or five.

“On The Edge 2” erotic photography exhibition Gallery 4N5, 863 Mission, SF. (415) 522-2400, www.gallery4n5.com. Through Sunday. Gallery hours Fri., 4 p.m.-9 p.m.; Sat., 11 p.m.-9 p.m.; Sun., noon-5 p.m., free. Valentine’s Day may be about romance for some people, but for us it’s about getting naked. (And eating, but mostly getting naked.) This group exhibition features 400 pictures of artful sexiness taken by 25 erotic photographers who bring on the nudes.

SATURDAY 11

“Drunk with Love” with Carol Peters The Emerald Tablet, 80 Fresno, SF. (415) 500-2323, www.carolpeters.net. 8 p.m., $10. Carol Peters, a.k.a. “Velvet Voice,” is known for her passionate and amorous renderings. For one steamy night in light of Valentine’s Day, Peters will grace the stage to croon sensual tunes that capture the many dimensions of love.

Valentine’s Surprise SF Lindy Ball Womens Building, 3543 18th St., SF. sfswingjam.eventbee.com. 7:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m., $22 This Lindy Hop and Swing ball is actually the centerpiece of a three-day swing summit in celebration of romance (check the website for full line-up) — because what says, “I love you” more than artfully mopping the floor with your partner? We sure don’t know. Hoppin’ workshops and technique tune-up sessions complement the ball, which consists of a Lindy contest, live swing music, and a surprise 91st birthday celebration for classic movie star Ray Hirsch.

Watson’s “Naked at the Art Museum Scavenger Hunt” Legion of Honor, 34th Ave, SF. (415) 750-3600, legionofhonor.famsf.org. Through Sunday. 2 p.m.-4:30 p.m., $20. Who said museums had to be tame? Bring a lover or friend this weekend to the Legion of Honor for a sexy scavenger hunt. You will scope the halls for studly sculptures, titillating paintings, bathing beauties, and many sexy inanimate objects more. Museums will never be the same again.

SUNDAY 12

SF Mixtape Society’s “Under The Covers” music exchange and contest The Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St, SF. (415) 440-4177, www.sfmixtapesociety.com. 6 p.m., free with mix. Don’t have someone to make a mixtape for this year? It’s OK. Your ex’s music taste was awful anyways! Put that playlist you love on a CD, cassette, or USB drive and have it land right in the ears of a random yet lucky someone. You’ll end the night with someone else’s coveted mix, and everyone will get to vote for the playlist with the best track listings and artwork.

MONDAY 13

Litquake Literary Festival presents: Love Hurts readings of grief-stricken passages of love and lust The Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St, SF. (415) 440-4177, www.litquake.org. 7 p.m., $10. Ten Bay Area writers will give their own cynical (and mostly hilarious) twists on the forlorn words of some of the most melancholic and/or melodramatic novels ever written. Come sort out the parallels between drug dependency and romance in Valley of the Dolls, the masochistic plotline of The Story of O, and many more classics that well forewarned of broken hearts.

TUESDAY 14

Club Neon’s Eighth Annual Vaslentine’s Day Underwear Party The Knockout, 3223 Mission, SF. (415) 550-6884, www.theknockoutsf.com. This is THE event for fresh and nubile indie heartbreakers, stripping down to make you all “damn!” and stuff. One of our favorite annual pantsless throwdowns, with steamy rock DJs Jamie Jams and EmDee making you want to take it all off.

The Fifth Annual Poetry and Music Battle of ALL of the Sexes Uncle Al and Mama Dee’s Cafe at POOR Magazine, 2940 16th St, SF. (415) 865-1932, www.poormagazine.org. 7 p.m., $5-$20 suggested donation for dinner and show. Instead of scribbling your words in to a Hallmark card, show off your love this Valentine’s in rhyme and verse. All proceeds will support POOR magazine, a local arts organization that advocates education and media access for struggling communities. The theme is 1950s, but the beats will be timeless.

Love Story film showing and gala with Justin MX Bond Castro Theatre, 429 Casto, SF. (415) 621-6120, www.castrotheatre.com. 8 p.m., $10 film only; $25 for gala tickets. Relive the drama, the tragic heartaches, and the swooning love story of the 1970 film classic. Ali MacGraw will be at the Castro mezzanine in person, “Theme from Love Story” will be sung by Katya Smirnoff-Skyy, and special guest Mx Justin Vivian bond will be doing a “sorry” medley.

Passion Punch Valentine’s day kickboxing class UFC Gym, 1975 Diamond, Concord. (925) 265-8130, www.ufcgyms.com. 6:30 p.m., free. Valentine’s got you foaming at the mouth? Let it out. This 60-minute class will incorporate dynamic boxing moves so that you can punch away all the annoyances you will be feeling by the end of this day.

The Crackpot Crones present “I Hate Valentine’s Day” sketch comedy and improv show The Dark Room, 2263 Mission, SF. (415) 648-5244, www.crackpotcrones.com. 8 p.m., $20. Outrageous duo Terry Baum and Carolyn Myers are providing a public service for the romantically challenged. They will be making fun of everything Valentine’s related — especially silly little concepts like true love and soul mates. Belt along to the song, “The Twelve Days of Being Dumped,” and give your best evil cackle at this sketch comedy show.

Valentine’s Day Party with T.I.T.S and Uzi Rash Hemlock, 1131 Polk, SF. (415) 923-0923, www.hemlocktavern.com. 9 p.m., free. There is no need for all the fuss, the fancy gifts, the cutesy ribbons, or the overpriced dinner. If you’re sick of the pink, come dance your anti-heart out at this doom punk show. Flowers wilt anyways.

Our Weekly Picks: February 8-14

Andrew Lam
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FRIDAY 10

The Great Gatsby: John Harbison’s Opera

Set 1920s New York wealth, style, and tragic disillusionment to chamber orchestration and what do you get? John Harbison’s ambitious opera, The Great Gatsby, which is, of course, based on the modern American classic by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Ensemble Parallèle, a local contemporary opera company, describes The Great Gatsby as its “most ambitious project to date” and will be performing San Francisco composer Jacques Desjardins’ re-orchestration of Harbison’s masterpiece this weekend. Expect stunning costumes and rich scores that throw you back into the great American Jazz Age. And characters that take you back to high school English class. (Mia Sullivan)

Fri/10-Sat/11, 8 p.m.; Sun/12, 2 p.m., $35–$65

Yerba Buena Center for the Arts

701 Mission, SF

(415) 978-2787

www.ybca.org

 

Orchid

Striking from its secret lair, deep in the heart of Marin county, Orchid has become an international force to be reckoned with. Though European fans demand the band’s throbbing, Sabbathian riffs, powerful drumming, and soulful vocal incantations, stateside heshers are no less eager. The quartet’s local shows tend to be both raucous and intimate, and Orchid is known to treat the audience to an unreleased track or two. Come for the candelabras, the satanic gong, and the best in spiritual, throwback doom. (Ben Richardson)

With High Horse, Castle, The St. James Society

9 p.m., $12

Bottom of the Hill

1233 17th St., SF

(415) 626-4455

www.bottomofthehill.com

 

Los Campesinos!

Now on its fourth album — last November’s Hello Sadness — Wales-formed/not-Welsh group Los Campesinos! remains one of the most exuberant acts in indie rock. Thanks to a more streamlined sound on that last record, it’s also becoming increasingly possible to drop the “indie” altogether (although then again, considering the band’s ongoing zine Heat Rash and general openness to fans, there’s definitely still some of that original twee likeability.) Los Campesinos! will be joined by the always entertaining Parenthetical Girls with its enfant terrible bandleader Zac Pennington, who, if memory serves, broke every single glass he got his hands on last time at the Hemlock. (Ryan Prendiville)

With Parenthetical Girls

9 p.m., $21

Great American Music Hall

859 O’Farrell, SF

(415) 885-0750

www.slimspresents.com

 

SATURDAY 11

CHINESE NEW YEAR AT THE SYMPHONY

Everyone living in a world-class city catches them sometimes: those I’m-not-being-cultural-enough blues. Our lives are tough (THIS IS A JOKE). But just when we’re tucking our flannel sheets despairingly up over our azure foreheads, in prances an entry-level event that not only showcases one of SF’s most vibrant communities, but also employs superlative artistic minds. The symphony’s Chinese New Year performance features musical arrangements penned exclusively by Chinese and Chinese American composers, Carolyn Kuan conducting, and — oh yes — lion dancing with traditional snacks and tea during the family-friendly pre-concert reception. (Caitlin Donohue)

Reception 3 p.m.; concert 4 p.m., $15–$68

Davies Symphony Hall

201 Van Ness, SF

(415) 864-6000

www.sfsymphony.org

 

“Our Feet Speak the Rhythms of Our Hearts”

Feet, whether bare or in shoes, propel dance in space, but perhaps more complexly, in time. Every culture has realized that the foot — leaping, sliding, tapping — is the dancer’s most essential instrument. “Our Feet Speak the Rhythms of Our Hearts” is paying tribute to our being bipeds as seen, primarily, from Spanish language cultures. Flamenco and Tango, but also more clearly folkloric genres, make up the fare. SF’s Barbary Coast Cloggers may be outsiders but who wouldn’t welcome these infectiously intrepid dancers. Especially welcome will be La Tania, too long absent from San Francisco’s Flamenco scene. Now about another program by unshod feet — African, Indian, Indonesian? (Rita Felciano)

Sat/11, 8 p.m., $25, 6:30 p.m. champagne reception; Sun/12, 3 p.m.

Cowell Theater

Fort Mason Center, SF

(415) 345-7575

www.fortmason.org

 

The Grannies

Only San Francisco could produce a five-piece, all-male punk rock band whose members are known for their unceasing desire to dress up like old women and “fuck shit up.” (Their words.) To wrap your head around the Grannies live, think hard-edged, wailing death punk sound coming from people wearing multi-colored wigs, floral nightgowns, and black platform boots. This show is not for the faint of heart, as vocalist Special Edna has a propensity to rile up the crowd, chiefly by gyrating his hips and stripping. Make sure to listen up for their brash, funny, and occasionally vile lyrics, and don’t forget to bring your moshing wig. (Sullivan)

With Bottom, Cormorant

9 p.m., $7

Thee Parkside

1600 17th St., SF

(415) 252-1330

www.theeparkside.com

 

Social Distortion

On the road for more than 30 years now, Orange County punk stalwart Social Distortion is much like the hot rod you might see at a classic car show; it’s been nearly driven off the road on more than one occasion, and has had its fair share of nicks and scratches, but these days it’s a more polished and well-oiled machine than ever before. Touring behind last year’s excellent Hard Times and Nursery Rhymes (Epitaph), expect Mike Ness and company to deliver a night of punk rock love songs, blistering rockabilly, blues-infused swagger, and more than enough sing-alongs to leave you hoarse for the next week. (Sean McCourt)

With Frank Turner and The Sleeping Souls, Sharks

8 p.m., $32.50

Fox Theater

1807 Telegraph, Oakl.

www.thefoxoakland.com

 

No Way Back: Optimo

Any major city should have one. The Haçienda. Fabric. The Paradise Garage. Certain spots that define a scene and a sound. In Glasgow, there’s Sub Club, and from 1997 to 2010 it was held down by DJs JD Twitch and JG Wilkes and their weekly show Optimo, where the duo gained a reputation for playing just about everything — Eurodisco, acid funk, post-punk — whether anyone else at the time thought it belonged in a club or not. Now that their show is on the road, they’re returning to SF for this edition of No Way Back. Whatever they play, it should sound rad on the cherry sound system in Monarch’s basement. (Prendiville)

With DJs Conor, Solar

10 p.m., $10-20

Monarch

101 Sixth St., SF

(415) 284-9774

www.monarchsf.com


SUNDAY 12

East Bay Tour de Bière

Fellow booze buds, the gauntlet of SF Beer Week has been thrown. After a tasting event or four will you be the one with a swollen belly and hops overdose, or will you rise like an effervescent head to the occasion? Here’s one event that will tip the pints in your favor: an East Bay brewery crawl made to be biked. Meet-and-greet the friendly sudsters at Trumer Pils, Linden Street, Triple Rock, Elevation 66, and Pyramid in between pleasant two-wheeled group jaunts. Hell, you’ll be so endorphin-blessed and booze-baited that afterward you just might make it to Sierra Nevada night at Downtown Oakland’s Beer Revolution. (Donohue)

9:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m., $25

Trumer Pils Brauerei

1404 14 St., Berk.

www.thegrandcru.org

www.sfbeerweek.org


TUESDAY 14

James Adomian

Let’s face it. Valentine’s Day is silly, and at times scary. So why not take the edge off and spend the night at a comedy show? James Adomian, an up-and-coming comedian known for his impressions of a range of characters including Orson Welles, Huell Howser, and Jesse Ventura, produces the type of politically and socially critical, laugh-out-loud material that reminds you how fucked up our world is; and that we must poke fun at it to stay sane. Gaining inspiration from the likes of Todd Glass, Paul F. Tompkins, and Peter Serafinowicz, Adomian consistently delivers intelligent, high-energy performances. (Sullivan)

With Jamie Lee, Ivan Hernandez, and Vince Mancini

8 p.m., $12

Milk Bar

1840 Haight, SF

(415) 387-6455

www.milksf.com

 

Yob

Atma, Yob’s transcendent, thunderous 2011 album, caused a critical sensation. NPR listeners new to the inimitable Eugene, Ore. band may have been pleasantly surprised, but for fans on board since 2002’s Elaborations of Carbon, the tersely-titled LP was simply the next step in a natural progression. Mastermind Mike Scheidt pairs the band’s shuddering, rubbery riffs with lyrics that belie metal’s usual tropes in favor of the cosmic and sublime, stretching his voice from the highest highs to the lowest lows. Valentine’s Day concertgoers should take the opportunity to subsume themselves in the stately repetitions and guttural, hypnotic power of Yob. (Richardson)

With Walken, Black Cobra

8 p.m., $13

New Parish

579 18th St., Oakl.

(510) 444-7474

www.thenewparish.com

 

“Love: Ali MacGraw”

It’s been more than 40 years, but fashionistas are still ripping off Ali MacGraw’s preppy-chic look from the 1970 tearjerker classic Love Story. Nobody else has rocked the swingy, parted-in-the middle locks and dark-eyebrow combo like MacGraw (I see you steppin’, Jordana Brewster, and you ain’t got it). Beyond her style-icon status, of course, MacGraw also has a colorful life and career: marriages to Robert Evans and Steve McQueen, a role on ’80s shoulder-pad juggernaut Dynasty, and, in recent years, using her star power to promote yoga and animal rights. Marc Huestis presents MacGraw in person for a special Valentine’s Day Love Story screening and tribute. Bring your own Kleenex. (Cheryl Eddy)

8 p.m., $25–$45

Castro Theatre

429 Castro, SF

www.castrotheatre.com 


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Stage Listings

Andrew Lam
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Stage listings are compiled by Guardian staff. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

THEATER

OPENING

Blue/Orange Lorraine Hansberry Theatre, 450 Post, SF; (415) 474-8800, www.lhtsf.org. $43-53. Previews Wed/8-Fri/10, 8pm. Opens Sat/11, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm). Through March 18. Lorraine Hansberry Theatre performs Joe Penhall’s comedic drama about a hospital patient who claims to be the son of an African dictator.

52 Man Pick Up Brava Theater, 2781 24th St, SF; (415) 647-2822, www.brava.org. $10-25. Opens Tues/14, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, Feb 15, and Feb 27, 8pm. Through March 3. Desiree Butch performs her solo show about a deck of cards’ worth of sexual encounters.

Geezer Marsh San Francisco, MainStage, 1062 Valencia, SF; (415) 282-3055, www.themarsh.org. $25-100. Opens Thurs/9, 8pm. Runs Thurs and Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through March 18. Geoff Hoyle’s hit solo show returns.

BAY AREA

A Doctor in Spire of Himself Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Roda Theatre, 2015 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, www.berkeleyrep.org. $14.50-73. Previews Fri/10-Sat/11 and Tues/14, 8pm; Sun/12, 7pm. Opens Feb 15, 8pm. Runs Tues and Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Thurs and Sat, 2pm; no matinees Feb 16, Feb 25, March 1, 8, and 15; no show March 23); Wed and Sun, 7pm (also Sun, 2pm). Through March 25. Berkeley Rep performs a contemporary update of the Molière comedy.

ONGOING

Cabaret Young Performers Theatre, Fort Mason Center, Bldc C, Room 300, Marina at Laguna, SF; (415) 381-1638, cabaretsf.wordpress.com. $25-45. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Feb 19. Shakespeare at Stinson and Independent Cabaret Productions perform the Kander and Ebb classic in an intimate setting.

Glengarry Glen Ross Actors Theatre of San Francisco, 855 Bush, SF; (415) 345-1287, www.brownpapertickets.com. $26-40. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through March 24. David Mamet’s cutthroat comedy, courtesy of the Actors Theatre of San Francisco.

Higher Theater at Children’s Creativity Museum, 221 Howard, SF; (415) 749-2228, www.act-sf.org. $10-65. Tues-Sat, 8pm (also Wed, Sat-Sun, 2pm; no matinee Wed/8). Through Feb 19. American Conservatory Theatre presents Carey Perloff’s smart and sexy world premiere.

Jesus in India Magic Theatre, Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna, SF; www.magictheatre.org. $20-55. Tues, 7pm; Wed-Sat, 8pm (also Feb 18, 2:30pm); Sun, 2:30pm. Through Feb 19. Lloyd Suh’s American Hwangap is still one of Magic’s strongest premieres in recent years, an intriguingly funny and affecting cross-cultural tale of an absent Korean father’s return to the family he abandoned in West Texas 15 years earlier. Suh’s latest makes a disappointing contrast. There’s again an absent father (or two) and a sense of dislocation, but Suh’s “Jesus in India” does little or nothing with them. Director Daniella Topol assembles a bright cast headed by musically adept charmer Damon Daunno — on Michael Locher’s colorful, all-encompassing street mosaic set (comprised of floor-to-wall stickers, spray-paint, and mandalas around a central thicket of abandoned bicycle wheels) — but it all serves an insipid chronicle of the deity’s wayward teen years, which are spent getting high and playing in a punk band in India. Pure irreverence might have been worthwhile, but the “dude, fuckin’ &ldots; dude” humor here — one-note and rarely that funny — comes yoked to a fourth-quarter theme (basically a Henry IV thing, the sowing of wild oats ahead of the taking on of a “king’s” responsibilities) that proves even sketchier, not to mention out-of-step with these deliberately leaderless times. (Avila)

*Little Brother Gough Street Playhouse, 1620 Gough, SF; www.custommade.org. $25-32. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Feb 25. Custom Made Theatre Co. performs Josh Costello’s adaptation of Cory Doctorow’s San Francisco-set thriller.

Not Getting Any Younger Marsh San Francisco, Studio Theater, 1062 Valencia, SF; (415) 826-5750, www.themarsh.org. $15-50. Fri, 8pm; Sat, 5 and 8:30pm. Extended through Feb 25. Marga Gomez is back at the Marsh, a couple of too-brief decades after inaugurating the theater’s new stage with her first solo show — an apt setting, in other words, for the writer-performer’s latest monologue, a reflection on the inevitable process of aging for a Latina lesbian comedian and artist who still hangs at Starbucks and can’t be trusted with the details of her own Wikipedia entry. If the thought of someone as perennially irreverent, insouciant, and appealingly immature as Gomez makes you depressed, the show is, strangely enough, the best antidote. (Avila)

Olivia’s Kitchen Exit Theatre, 156 Eddy, SF; www.generationtheatre.com. $20-40. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Feb 19. GenerationTheatre offers this “remix” of Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night.

Private Parts SF Playhouse, Stage 2, 533 Sutter, SF; www.sfplayhouse.org. $20. Thurs, 7pm; Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Feb 25. Graham Gremore performs his autobiographical solo comedy.

*True West Boxcar Studios, 125A Hyde, SF; (415) 967-2227, www.boxcartheatre.org. $25. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through April 7. The first installment of Boxcar Theatre’s four-play Sam Shepard repertory project, True West ushers in the ambitious run with a bang. This tale of two brothers who gradually assume the role of the other is one of Shepard’s most enduring plays, rich with humorous interludes, veering sharply into dangerous terrain at the drop of a toaster. In time-honored, True West tradition, the lead roles of Austin, the unassuming younger brother, and Lee, his violent older sibling, are being alternated between Nick A. Olivero and Brian Trybom, and in a new twist, the role of the mother is being played by two different actresses as well (Adrienne Krug and Katya Rivera). The evening I saw it, Olivero was playing Austin, a writer banging away at his first screenplay, and Trybom was Lee, a troubled, alcoholic drifter who usurps his brother’s Hollywood shot, and trashes their mother’s home while trying to honor his as yet unwritten “contract”. The chemistry between the two actors was a perfect blend of menace and fraternity, and the extreme wreckage they make of both the set (designed by both actors), and their ever-tenuous relationship, was truly inspired. (Gluckstern)

*Vice Palace: The Last Cockettes Musical Thrillpeddlers’ Hypnodrome, 575 10th St, SF; (415) 377-4202, www.thrillpeddlers.com. $30-35. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through March 3. Hot on the high heels of a 22-month run of Pearls Over Shanghai, the Thrillpeddlers are continuing their Theatre of the Ridiculous revival with a tits-up, balls-out production of the Cockettes’ last musical, Vice Palace. Loosely based on the terrifyingly grim “Masque of the Red Death” by Edgar Allan Poe, part of the thrill of Palace is the way that it weds the campy drag-glamour of Pearls Over Shanghai with the Thrillpeddlers’ signature Grand Guignol aesthetic. From an opening number set on a plague-stricken street (“There’s Blood on Your Face”) to a charming little cabaret about Caligula, staged with live assassinations, an undercurrent of darkness runs like blood beneath the shameless slapstick of the thinly-plotted revue. As plague-obsessed hostess Divina (Leigh Crow) and her right-hand “gal” Bella (Eric Tyson Wertz) try to distract a group of stir-crazy socialites from the dangers outside the villa walls, the entertainments range from silly to salacious: a suggestively-sung song about camel’s humps, the wistful ballad “Just a Lonely Little Turd,” a truly unexpected Rite of Spring-style dance number entitled “Flesh Ballet.” Sumptuously costumed by Kara Emry, cleverly lit by Nicholas Torre, accompanied by songwriter/lyricist (and original Cockette) Scrumbly Koldewyn, and anchored by a core of Thrillpeddler regulars, Palace is one nice vice. (Gluckstern)

*Vigilance Phoenix Theatre, 414 Mason, SF; (415) 335-6087, secondwind.8m.com. $20-25. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Feb 25. Ian Walker (The Tender King) directs a sharp revival of his own lucid, involving 2000 domestic drama about three households brought to the brink by the arrival of a menacing working-class loner. Seamlessly staged in a single pair of rooms (designed by Fred Sharkey) representing all three suburban middle-class homes — as well as downstage on the street where dream-home lottery winner Duncan (an imposing Steven Westdahl) throws his beer cans and leers at the wives and children — Vigilance begins with three friends meeting under the pretext of a poker game. Host Virgil (played with gruff charm by a commanding Mike Newman) is a 30-something husband, father, and guy’s guy whose Montana-grown libertarian machismo compensates for the agro of a stormy marriage and rocky finances. He talks the suggestible, nebbishy Bert (a slyly humorous Ben Ortega) and the equally nerdy but independent-minded Dick (a nicely layered Stephen Muterspaugh) into forming a “committee” to deal with the troublesome Duncan. Walker’s well-honed dialogue brings out the false notes in the supposed pre-Duncan harmony right away, especially in the volatile arguments between Virgil and wife Marla (a sure Natalie Palan Walker) and the passive but more troubled confrontations between Dick and his distant, frustrated wife Cathy (a subtly fraught Kim Stephenson). While the insular, repressed lives of the moderately well off come across well, Duncan’s final monologue is a compressed, if dramatically necessary, attempt at voicing the other side. Vigilance strikes best at the buried politics of marriage and friendship, the latter further invoked in the concerned intervention of cop and childhood friend Frank (a sympathetic Leon Goertzen). (Avila)

Waiting for Godot Royce Gallery, 2901 Mariposa, SF; (415) 336-3522, www.tidestheatre.org. $20-38. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Feb 18. The fuchsia papier-mâché tree and swirling grey-on-white floor pattern (courtesy of scenic designer Richard Colman) lend a psychedelic accent to the famously barren landscape inhabited by Vladimir (Keith Burkland) and Estragon (Jack Halton) in this production of the Samuel Beckett play by newcomers Tides Theatre. Director (and Tides’ producing artistic director) Jennifer Welch layers the avant-garde classic with some audio accents as well (although Jon Bernson’s minimalist industrial soundscape is a bit low in the mix to be very effective). More compelling is the gentle, sad humor and couched intelligence captured expertly by Halton in the circular but deliberate rhythms of his hapless tramp. Burkland as pal Vladimir exudes a palpable presence as well, though lacks the same focus. Timing is all in vaudeville — the parallel universe from whence these tangible modernist archetypes hail — as well as in a play whose plot goes intentionally nowhere, or rather loops back on itself in an implied dance with eternity. The halting aspect to Tides’ staging gets compounded with the arrival of brash whip-cracker Pozzo (a suitably stentorian but inconsistent Duane Lawrence) and his pitiful slave Lucky (a haunted, generally sharp Renzo Ampuero, made up to look like a goth doll à la some Tim Burton movie). That said, the best moments here broadcast the brooding beauty of the play, with its purposely vague but readily familiar world of viciousness, servility, trauma, want, fear, grudging compassion, and the daring, fragile humor that can look it all squarely in the eye. (Avila)

The Waiting Period MainStage, Marsh San Francisco, 1062 Valencia, SF; (415) 282-3055, www.themarsh.org. $15-50. Fri, 8pm; Sat, 5pm. Through March 24. Brian Copeland returns with a new solo show about his struggles with depression.

BAY AREA

Arms and the Man Lesher Center for the Arts, Margaret Lesher Theater, 1601 Civic, Walnut Creek; (925) 943-7469, www.centerrep.org. $38-43. Wed, 7:30pm; Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2:30pm. Through Feb 25. Center REPertory Company presents George Bernard Shaw’s classic romantic comedy.

Body Awareness Aurora Theatre, 2081 Addison, Berk; (510) 843-4822, www.auroratheatre.org. $34-55. Tues, 7pm; Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through March 4. Aurora Theatre performs Annie Baker’s comedy.

Counter Attack! Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby, Berk; (510) 444-4755, ext. 114, www.stagebridge.org. $18-25. Wed-Thurs, 7:30pm; Fri-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm); Sun, 2pm. Through March 4. Stagebridge presents the world premiere of Joan Holden’s waitress-centric play.

Ghost Light Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Thrust Stage, 2025 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, www.berkeleyrep.org. $14.50-73. Tues, Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Sat and Feb 16, 2pm); Wed and Sun, 7pm (also Sun, 2pm). Through Feb 19. Berkeley Rep performs Tony Taccone’s world-premiere play about George Moscone’s assassination, directed by the late San Francisco mayor’s son, Jonathan Moscone.

*The Kipling Hotel: True Misadventures of the Electric Pink ’80s New venue: Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; (415) 282-3055, www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Sat, 8:30pm; Sun, 7pm. Extended through March 25. This new autobiographical solo show by Don Reed, writer-performer of the fine and long-running East 14th, is another slice of the artist’s journey from 1970s Oakland ghetto to comedy-circuit respectability — here via a partial debate-scholarship to UCLA. The titular Los Angeles residency hotel was where Reed lived and worked for a time in the 1980s while attending university. It’s also a rich mine of memory and material for this physically protean and charismatic comic actor, who sails through two acts of often hilarious, sometimes touching vignettes loosely structured around his time on the hotel’s young wait staff, which catered to the needs of elderly patrons who might need conversation as much as breakfast. On opening night, the episodic narrative seemed to pass through several endings before settling on one whose tidy moral was delivered with too heavy a hand, but if the piece runs a little long, it’s only the last 20 minutes that noticeably meanders. And even with some awkward bumps along the way, it’s never a dull thing watching Reed work. (Avila)

The Pitman Painters TheatreWorks at Mountain View Center for the Arts, 500 Castro, SF; (650) 463-1960, www.theatreworks.org. $19-69. Wed/8, 7:30pm; Thurs/9-Sat/11, 8pm (also Sat/11, 2pm); Sun/12, 2 and 7pm. TheatreWorks performs a new comedy from the author of Billy Elliot about a group of British miners who become art world sensations.

A Steady Rain Marin Theatre Company, 397 Miller, SF; (415) 388-5208, www.marintheatre.org. $34-55. Tues and Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Sat/11 and Feb 25, 2pm; Feb 16, 1pm); Wed, 7:30pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Feb 26. Marin Theatre Company performs Keith Huff’s neo-noir drama.

The World’s Funniest Bubble Show Marsh Berkeley, TheaterStage, 2120 Allston, Berk; (415) 826-5750, www.themarsh.org. $8-50. Extended run: Sun/12, Feb 19, 26, March 11, and 18, 11am. Louis “The Amazing Bubble Man” Pearl returns with this kid-friendly, bubble-tastic comedy.

PERFORMANCE/DANCE

“Elect to Laugh” Studio Theater, Marsh San Francisco, 1062 Valencia, SF; (415) 282-3055, www.themarsh.org. Tues, 8pm. Ongoing through Nov 6. $15-50. Will Durst and friends perform in this weekly political humor show that focuses on the upcoming presidential election.

“Epic Romance” Bayfront Theater, B350 Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna, SF; (415) 474-6776, www.improv.org. Tues/14, 8pm. $25. BATS Improv taps its collective quick-wit talents to conjure a romantic play on the spot.

“The Eric Show” Milk Bar, 1840 Haight, SF; www.milksf.com. Tues, 8pm (ongoing). $5. Local comedians perform with host Eric Barry.

“How We First Met” Marines’ Memorial Theatre, 609 Sutter, SF; www.howwefirstmet.com. Tues/14, 8pm. $40-75. Jill Bourque’s long-running holiday tradition is inspired by audience members’ real-life tales of romance.

“The I Hate Valentine’s Day Show” Dark Room, 2263 Mission, SF; www.crackpotcrones.com. Tues/14, 8pm; Feb 19, 5pm. $20. “Sketch comedy and improv as a public service for the romantically challenged” with Crackpot Crones Terry Baum and Carolyn Myers.

“It’s Got to Be Love” Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson, SF; (415) 392-4400, www.cityboxoffice.com. Mon/13-Tues/14, 8pm. $20. Craig Jessup sings Rodgers, Hart, Gershwin, and Sondheim to benefit the San Francisco Arts Education Project.

“Love Bites — and So Did the ’80s” Mission Cultural Center, 2868 Mission, SF; www.lgcsf.org. Fri/10-Sat/11, 8pm. $15-30. The Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San Francisco celebrates the neon decade with this cabaret and musical extravaganza.

“Mortified! Doomed Valentine’s Show” DNA Lounge, 375 11th St, SF; www.getmortified.com. Fri/10, 7:30pm. $21. Also Sat/11, 8pm, $20, Shattuck Down Low, 2184 Shattuck, Berk. The awkward storytelling series returns with a romance-gone-awry theme.

“Our Feet Speak the Rhythms of Our Hearts” Cowell Theater, Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna, SF; (415) 345-7575, www.fortmason.org. Sat/11, 8pm; Sun/12, 3pm. $15-25. Tango and More Argentine Dance and World Arts West present this event featuring six ethnic dance companies, including La Tania, Ensembles Ballet Folklórico de San Francisco, Valverde Dance, Barbary Coast Cloggers, and Ballet Pampa Argentina.

“Through the Night” Brava Theatre, 2781 24th St, SF; www.communityworkswest.org. Sat/11, 7pm. $40-100. Daniel Beaty performs at this evening honoring author Nell Bernstein and activist Sujatha Baliga; proceeds benefit Community Works’ programs for Bay Area children, families, and communities impacted by incarceration.

“The Weight Game” NOHspace Theater, 2840 Mariposa, SF; www.brownpapertickets.com. Fri/10-Sat/11 and Feb 17-18, 8pm. $15. Sarah Abbey performs her semi-autobiographical solo show about diets and self-esteem.

BAY AREA

“Black Choreographers Festival: Here and Now 2012” Laney College Theater, 900 Fallon, Oakl; www.bcfhereandnow.com. Fri/10-Sat/11, 8pm; Sun/12, 4pm. Also Feb 17-18 and Feb 24-25, 8pm; Feb 19, 4pm; Feb 26, 7pm, Dance Mission Theater, 3316 24th St, SF. $10-25. Celebrate African and African American dance and culture at this multi-part festival, with works by Marc Bamuthi Joseph, Kendra Kimbrough Barnes, and more.

Brews you can use

Andrew Lam
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caitlin@sfbg.com

BEER Even if your hankering for a beer paunch pales in comparison, say, to your desire to fit into your Valentine’s Day party dress, you have a responsibility to indulge during SF Beer Week. It’s not just a gustatory pleasure — consider yourself stumping for a burgeoning local industry. From Feb. 10-19, the fest will stage everything from urban beer hikes to beer-and-chocolate pairing events, beer-and-cheese couplings to a showcase of the finest in local bitter ales. Recently, the Guardian had the pleasure of a one-on-one (via email) with David McLean, the mastermind behind the superlative suds at Magnolia Brewery. He is also a member of the SF Brewer’s Guild, the organizing entity behind Beer Week. McLean shared with us his can’t-miss picks for hobnobbing and hops during this year’s festival. And yes, they include an stout made with Hog Island oysters.

SFBG: How has the beer scene changed over the past year in the Bay Area? Has there been a profound expansion? 

DM: Here and everywhere. We started in 2011 with about 1,700 breweries in the country. We are creeping up on 2,000 a year later and there are something like 800 or so known to be in planning. It’s safe to say craft beer is exploding right now. In the Bay Area, some notable highlights are Southern Pacific, Elevation 66, Dying Vines, Pacific Brewing Laboratories, and Heretic Brewing. There are plenty more on the way in 2012.

SFBG: Anyone new on the scene whose brews you’re excited to sample? 

DM: After many delays (all par for the course) it is super-exciting to have Southern Pacific Brewing Company open just in time for Beer Week. As the first new brewery built in San Francisco in many years — close to 10 — that one leads the pack in terms of excitement level. Another SF company just getting off the ground is Pacific Brewing Laboratories, which is starting to get its Squid Ink IPA and a couple of other beers into bars and restaurants. Almanac’s latest seasonal release, Winter Wit, should be hitting the streets just in time for Beer Week too, and it’s worth hunting down.

SFBG: A food-beer pairing event you think is a can’t-miss?

DM: Some pairings are just so perfect as to be timeless. They’re less about being creative and more about flavors that need no help fitting together. A personal favorite is oysters and beer, particularly oysters and certain kinds of stout, especially dry stouts. We go a step further at Magnolia with an oyster stout we make using Hog Island Sweetwater oysters in the beer. The effect is subtle, and maybe it is gilding the lily, but a few freshly-shucked Sweetwaters and a glass of that beer, Oysterhead Stout, is about as good as it gets. We’ll be spending all day on Valentine’s Day shucking a variety of oysters and serving them with that stout and some other good oyster-pairing beers until the oysters run out. If I were free on Mon/13, you might find me at the “Butcher and the Beer at the Beast and the Hare” — it’s a dinner with [4505 Meats butcher] Ryan Farr and Almanac Beer.

SFBG: Your tip for making it through Beer Week — how do you survive such a strenuous schedule?

DM: The well-timed vacation waiting on the other side of Beer Week helps maintain my sanity during Beer Week. With multiple events to work everyday, it’s a definitely a marathon and not a sprint. But it is also one of the premier celebrations of craft beer in the country and the sense of enthusiasm, camaraderie, and support from the beer community is more than enough to help us all get through the week. It’s energizing, actually. But don’t forget to hydrate.

SF BEER WEEK OPENING CELEBRATION

Fri/10 6-10 p.m., $65

Concourse Exhibition Center

635 Eighth St., SF

www.sfbeerweek.org

 

Cheap dates!

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Cheap dates!

VALENTINE’S Whether you’re hopelessly in love, completely philophobic, or somewhere in between, here’s a sweet slew of events on the horizon that won’t tap you dry. We’ve chosen our favorites that are all less than $20 (except for a couple worthwhile charity fundraisers). Now go out and get starry-eyed, you kid.  

 

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WEDNESDAY 8

Aphrodesia Afterhours Valentine’s Day Conservatory of Flowers, Golden Gate Park, 100 John F. Kennedy, SF. (415) 831-2090, www.conservatoryofflowers.org. 6 p.m.-10 p.m., $10. Chocolate is hands down the best part of Valentine’s Day. Join local chocolatier TCHO’s chief chocolate guru, Brad Kintzer, for his demonstration on how to transform beans into bliss. Afterwards, grab a love potion from the Cocktail Lab, frolic amongst the orchids, and enjoy a live performance by Le Quartet de Jazz. Remember to take a picture in the photobooth — a night dedicated to chocolate is a night to remember.

Love on Wheels dating game Public Works, 161 Erie, SF. (415) 932-0955, www.sfbike.org. 6 p.m., $5 for SF Bicycle Coalition members; $10 for non-members. The cutest people always seem to be railing past each other on their bikes. The SF Bicycle Coalition is going to sit all you guys down so you can date already. Lovebirds will quiz three potential dates (hidden from view) and go on a date provided by one of the sponsors. This annual tradition is a cute hoot.

 

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THURSDAY 9

“Animal Attraction” NightLife aquarium gallery and sex talk California Academy of Sciences, 55 Music Concourse, SF. (415) 379-8000, www.calacademy.org. 6 p.m.-10 p.m., $12. Cal Academy’s weekly Thursday evening party, NightLife, is launching a new gallery for fish-lovers (and friends!) with a series of reproduction-themed talks. Various experts will be talking about mating strategies in the animal kingdom, penis bones of different species, and the sex life of Zodiac signs. Dr. Carol Queen from Good Vibrations will be sharing her knowledge about the science of orgasms. So let’s do like they do on the Discovery Channel.

“Cupid’s Back” sixth annual Valentine’s Day party Supperclub, 657 Harrison, SF. (415) 348-0900, cupidsback.kintera.org. 8 p.m.-midnight, $30-35. Gay charity impressario Mark Rhoades is back — like Cupid, you might say — with this popular shindig that brings together oodles of hot men. DJ Juanita More will fluff the crowd, and it all goes to help out our invaluable GLBT Historical Society. Shoot your arrow and it goes real high …

“Go Deep” lube wrestling for the boys El Rio, 3158 Mission, SF. (415) 379-8000, www.calacademy.org/events/nightlife. 8 p.m.-11:30 p.m., $10–$15. What says romance more than watching half-naked queer boys with fantastical monikers like Yogzar and Red Dragon wrestling in a vat of lube? Slide your way into V-Day at this monthly (second Thursdays) grip ‘n slip put on by neo-Vaudevillian troupe SF Boylesque, with DJ Drama Bin Laden, a performance by the Bohemian Brethren, and Cajon food from Family Meal available on the back patio.

 

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FRIDAY 10

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FRIDAY 10

Bardot A Go Go Pre-Valentine’s Dance Rickshaw Stop, 155 Fell, SF. (415) 861-2011, www.bardotagogo.com. 9 p.m., $10. “Music by French people for everybody” is the motto of the neato longtime roving Bardot A Go Go — and that includes a bubbly beretful of cute folks who revel in 1960s pop glamour filtered through contemporary va-va-voom. Live band Nous Non Plus is très adorable, and DJs Pink Frankenstein, Brother Grimm, and Cali Kid bring French kisses galore. Plus: free hairstyling by Peter Thomas Hair Design, d’accord.

I Heart Some Thing The Stud, 399 9th St., SF. (415) 863-6623, www.studsf.com. 10 p.m.-late, $8. “We love love! We just love it!” scream the awesome queens of Some Thing, the mind-altering weekly friday drag show and party at the Stud. You may detect a hint of the sardonic in there, but the smart Some Thingers always cover their bases with a healthy dose of sincerity to go with the staged pop culture send-ups. heart-shaped performers include Glamamore, Manicure Versace, Cricket Bardot, and Nikki Sixx Mile. Afterhours dancing, too.

Mortified’s Annual Doomed Valentine’s Show DNA Lounge, 375 11th St., SF. (415) 626-1409, www.getmortified.com. 7:30 p.m., $14 adv; $21 at door. Do you remember your first kiss when you went in for the gold, missed completely, and your lips puckered mid-air? Well, the folks at Mortified sure do. They have sorted through the oldest and nerdiest notebooks, letters, photos, and shoeboxes so that they can share with you their most humiliating romantic encounters. Reinvigorate your disdain for this holiday by taking comedic comfort in the mishaps of these thick-skinned Valentine’s veterans.

Ninth Annual Food from the Heart Festival Ferry Building Marketplace, 1 Ferry Building, SF. (415) 983-8000, www.ferrybuildingmarketplace.com. Through Saturday. 5:30-8 p.m., free entrance. Nothing says “I love you” like food. Give the gift of a happy stomach to your lover this Valentine’s in the candlelit Grand Nave of the Ferry Building, with a night of dancing and eating. Revel in the magic of the waterfront, sip on wine poured by local Napa Vinters, and taste a scrumptious hors-d’oeuvre or five.

“On The Edge 2” erotic photography exhibition Gallery 4N5, 863 Mission, SF. (415) 522-2400, www.gallery4n5.com. Through Sunday. Gallery hours Fri., 4 p.m.-9 p.m.; Sat., 11 p.m.-9 p.m.; Sun., noon-5 p.m., free. Valentine’s Day may be about romance for some people, but for us it’s about getting naked. (And eating, but mostly getting naked.) This group exhibition features 400 pictures of artful sexiness taken by 25 erotic photographers who bring on the nudes.

 

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SATURDAY 11

“Drunk with Love” with Carol Peters The Emerald Tablet, 80 Fresno, SF. (415) 500-2323, www.carolpeters.net. 8 p.m., $10. Carol Peters, a.k.a. “Velvet Voice,” is known for her passionate and amorous renderings. For one steamy night in light of Valentine’s Day, Peters will grace the stage to croon sensual tunes that capture the many dimensions of love.

Valentine’s Surprise SF Lindy Ball Womens Building, 3543 18th St., SF. sfswingjam.eventbee.com. 7:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m., $22 This Lindy Hop and Swing ball is actually the centerpiece of a three-day swing summit in celebration of romance (check the website for full line-up) — because what says, “I love you” more than artfully mopping the floor with your partner? We sure don’t know. Hoppin’ workshops and technique tune-up sessions complement the ball, which consists of a Lindy contest, live swing music, and a surprise 91st birthday celebration for classic movie star Ray Hirsch. Lessons offered!

Watson’s “Naked at the Art Museum Scavenger Hunt” Legion of Honor, 34th Ave, SF. (415) 750-3600, legionofhonor.famsf.org. Through Sunday. 2 p.m.-4:30 p.m., $20. Who said museums had to be tame? Bring a lover or friend this weekend to the Legion of Honor for a sexy scavenger hunt. You will scope the halls for studly sculptures, titillating paintings, bathing beauties, and many sexy inanimate objects more. Museums will never be the same again.

 

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SUNDAY 12

SF Mixtape Society’s “Under The Covers” music exchange and contest The Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St, SF. (415) 440-4177, www.sfmixtapesociety.com. 6 p.m., free with mix. Don’t have someone to make a mixtape for this year? It’s OK. Your ex’s music taste was awful anyways! Put that playlist you love on a CD, cassette, or USB drive and have it land right in the ears of a random yet lucky someone. You’ll end the night with someone else’s coveted mix, and everyone will get to vote for the playlist with the best track listings and artwork.

 

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MONDAY 13

Litquake Literary Festival presents: Love Hurts readings of grief-stricken passages of love and lust The Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St, SF. (415) 440-4177, www.litquake.org. 7 p.m., $10. Ten Bay Area writers will give their own cynical (and mostly hilarious) twists on the forlorn words of some of the most melancholic and/or melodramatic novels ever written. Come sort out the parallels between drug dependency and romance in Valley of the Dolls, the masochistic plotline of The Story of O, and many more classics that well forewarned of broken hearts.

 

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TUESDAY 14

Club Neon’s Eighth Annual Valentine’s Day Underwear Party The Knockout, 3223 Mission, SF. (415) 550-6884, www.theknockoutsf.com. 10 p.m.-2 a.m., $5, free with no pants before 11 p.m.! This is THE event for fresh and nubile indie heartbreakers, stripping down to make you all “damn!” and stuff. One of our favorite annual pantsless throwdowns, with steamy rock DJs Jamie Jams and EmDee making you want to take it all off.

The Fifth Annual Poetry and Music Battle of ALL of the Sexes Uncle Al and Mama Dee’s Cafe at POOR Magazine, 2940 16th St, SF. (415) 865-1932, www.poormagazine.org. 7 p.m., $5-$20 suggested donation for dinner and show. Instead of scribbling your words in to a Hallmark card, show off your love this Valentine’s in rhyme and verse. All proceeds will support POOR magazine, a local arts organization that advocates education and media access for struggling communities. The theme is 1950s, but the beats will be timeless.

Love Story film showing and gala with Justin MX Bond Castro Theatre, 429 Casto, SF. (415) 621-6120, www.castrotheatre.com. 8 p.m., $10 film only; $25 for gala tickets. Relive the drama, the tragic heartaches, and the swooning love story of the 1970 film classic. Ali MacGraw will be at the Castro mezzanine in person, “Theme from Love Story” will be sung by Katya Smirnoff-Skyy, and special guest Mx Justin Vivian bond will be doing a “sorry” medley.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMjsuYytrkg

Passion Punch Valentine’s day kickboxing class UFC Gym, 1975 Diamond, Concord. (925) 265-8130, www.ufcgyms.com. 6:30 p.m., free. Valentine’s got you foaming at the mouth? Let it out. This 60-minute class will incorporate dynamic boxing moves so that you can punch away all the annoyances you will be feeling by the end of this day.

The Crackpot Crones present “I Hate Valentine’s Day” sketch comedy and improv show The Dark Room, 2263 Mission, SF. (415) 648-5244, www.crackpotcrones.com. 8 p.m., $20. Outrageous duo Terry Baum and Carolyn Myers are providing a public service for the romantically challenged. They will be making fun of everything Valentine’s related — especially silly little concepts like true love and soul mates. Belt along to the song, “The Twelve Days of Being Dumped,” and give your best evil cackle at this sketch comedy show.

Valentine’s Day Party with T.I.T.S and Uzi Rash Hemlock, 1131 Polk, SF. (415) 923-0923, www.hemlocktavern.com. 9 p.m., free. There is no need for all the fuss, the fancy gifts, the cutesy ribbons, or the overpriced dinner. If you’re sick of the pink, come dance your anti-heart out at this doom punk show. Flowers wilt anyways.

Localized Appreesh: The Yellow Dress

Tony Robles
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Localized Appreesh: The Yellow Dress

Localized Appreesh is our weekly thank-you column to the musicians that make the Bay. To be considered, contact emilysavage@sfbg.com.

Dogs, ghosts, kids, hand-clapping, whistling on a sunny park day – it’s all in the video for the Yellow Dress’s “This Could Be Anything.” The song itself is already a treat, kicking off with the aforementioned clapping and whistling and a solitary guitar, in pipes mariachi trumpet and swallow-you-whole powerful vocal pipes à la orchestral pop master Beirut. (It also has garnered comparisons to Magnetic Fields and a drug-less Velvet Underground.)

The Yellow Dress closed out 2011 with a metaphoric group hug, thanks to the video and a well-received second album, Humblebees. This year, it’s already off to a run through the park, pull your dress up and get mud on your ankles, start. In the next seven days, the San Francisco band will play three local shows, all at interesting venues, perhaps a bit off the beaten path. Do it up big and catch a trio of Yellow Dress performances.

Year and location of origin: 2007, San Francisco (the corner of Haight and Fillmore to be exact)

Band name origin: We used to be called Mr Stopmotion and the Yellow Dress after a particularly dapper couple I saw walking through Golden Gate Park, back then we were just a two-piece, and the name was pretty unweildy. For about a day we were Mr Stopmotion, which sounds like a Devo/XTC cover band. We decided on The Yellow Dress, which immediately led to a dramatic (and affirming!) number of yellow dresses in both (me and original bandmember Jon) of our lives. For a not very interesting story that sure took a lot of time to write.

Band motto: I’m sorry.

Description of sound in 10 words or less: Earnest-indie-twee-folk-pop.

Instrumentation: Acoustic and electric guitar, bass, drums, glockenspiel, male/female vocals, trumpet, organs, whistles, hand claps, if anyone reading this plays the cello and love dinosaurs please call me.

Most recent release: Humblebees.

Best part about life as a Bay Area band: With so many artistic people around it’s easy to find like minded folks to play with, slowly envelop in your ever growing line-up.

Worst part about life as a Bay Area band: With so many artistic people around you are rarely the only game in town any given night.

First record/cassette tape/or CD ever purchased: The Top Gun soundtrack. It was great.

Most recent record/cassette tape/CD/or Mp3 purchased/borrowed from the Web: West Indies Funk Volume 3 (2012 is the year of the steel drum).

Favorite local eatery and dish: I miss Mission Burger so much, you have no idea. The Yellow Dress is however willing to give a full endorsement to the chicken millanesa torta at La Torta Gorda.

The Yellow Dress
With Adam Balbo, the Slaves
Thurs/9
Alley Cat Books
3036 24th St., SF


With Matt Dorrien, Fox and Woman
Fri/10, 8 p.m., $8
924 Gilman, Berk.
www.924gilman.com


Valentine’s Day Monthly Rumpus: Sugar’s Coming Out Party
With Pocket Full of Rye, Janine Brito
Feb. 14, 7 p.m., $10
Verdi Club
2424 Mariposa, SF
www.therumpus.net

 

 

 

 

 

 

Black Cobra

Jesse Hawthorne Ficks
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Black Cobra

Last year was epic for Black Cobra (www.blackcobra.net); the duo toured with a reunited Kyuss Lives, closed out the night at Yerba Buena’s awesome art-meets-metal live show, and released Invernal. The album, full of pummeling hardcore, saw vinyl release last month on Southern Lord, thus kicking of another doomy year for the act that got together way back in 2004 when drummer Rafa Martinez (formerly of Acid King and Gammera) was living in LA and ex-Cavity guitarist Jason Landrian was in NYC.

Black Cobra essentially began by snail mail, each sending brutal bits of song across the country. Moving to San Francisco in 2007, the band evolution was complete. While Black Cobra on record sounds undeniably good, the band is at its very best when live, with polyrhythms, Martinez beating the shit out of the drums, and Landrian’s gravity-defying backbends. The next show will be a charmer, Valentine’s Day at the New Parish (8 p.m., $10–$13. 579 18th St., Oakl. www.thenewparish.com), the best way to confess to the dark lords, “Nothing Says I Love You Like Doom” (which happens to be the event’s title). Hopefully it’ll be touring with Black Sabbath by the end of this year.

Description of sound: Jason Landrian: Like an avalanche of barbed wire and rabid sharks.

Rafa Martinez: sounds like drinking the blood of your enemy.

What do you like most about the Bay Area music scene: JL: The size and variety. It’s not too big, but not too small and there is not just one type of band.

RM: Awesome bands, diverse crowds, cool clubs.

What piece of music means the most to you and why: JL: Master of Puppets by Metallica. This was a massive staple of my youth and a huge influence on my playing when I was first learning guitar.

RM: Der Ring des Nibelungen by Wagner. It was the soundtrack of my childhood.

Favorite local eatery and dish: JL: Cathead’s Barbecue. Cornmeal crusted tofu is killer!

RM: The Submarine Shop on West Portal. Italiano center sub with a Coke.

Who would you most like to tour with: JL: Black Sabbath

RM: Rush

Stage Listings

Andrew Lam
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Stage listings are compiled by Guardian staff. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, and Nicole Gluckstern. Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

THEATER

OPENING

Glengarry Glen Ross Actors Theatre of San Francisco, 855 Bush, SF; (415) 345-1287, www.brownpapertickets.com. $26-40. Opens Fri/3, 8pm. Runs Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through March 24. David Mamet’s cutthroat comedy, courtesy of the Actors Theatre of San Francisco.

Higher Theater at Children’s Creativity Museum, 221 Howard, SF; (415) 749-2228, www.act-sf.org. $10-65. Previews Wed/1-Fri/3, 8pm; Sat/4, 2pm. Opens Sun/5, 7pm. Runs Tues-Sat, 8pm (Tues/7, show at 7pm; also Wed, Sat-Sun, 2pm; no matinee Feb 8). Through Feb 19. American Conservatory Theatre presents Carey Perloff’s smart and sexy world premiere.

Vigilance Phoenix Theatre, 414 Mason, SF; (415) 335-6087, secondwind.8m.com. $20-25. Opens Fri/3, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Feb 25. Second Wind performs Bay Area playwright Ian Walker’s thriller.

The Waiting Period MainStage, Marsh San Francisco, 1062 Valencia, SF; (415) 282-3055, www.themarsh.org. $15-50. Previews Thurs/2, 8pm. Opens Fri/3, 8pm. Runs Fri, 8pm; Sat, 5pm. Through March 24. Brian Copeland returns with a new solo show about his struggles with depression.

BAY AREA

Counter Attack! Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby, Berk; (510) 444-4755, ext. 114, www.stagebridge.org. $18-25. Opens Wed/3, 7:30pm. Runs Wed-Thurs, 7:30pm; Fri-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm); Sun, 2pm. Through March 4. Stagebridge presents the world premiere of Joan Holden’s waitress-centric play.

A Steady Rain Marin Theatre Company, 397 Miller, SF; (415) 388-5208, www.marintheatre.org. $34-55. Previews Thurs/2-Sat/4, 8pm; Sun/5, 7pm. Opens Tues/7, 8pm. Runs Tues and Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Feb 11 and 25, 2pm; Feb 16, 1pm); Wed, 7:30pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Feb 26. Marin Theatre Company performs Keith Huff’s neo-noir drama.

ONGOING

Cabaret Young Performers Theatre, Fort Mason Center, Bldc C, Room 300, Marina at Laguna, SF; (415) 381-1638, cabaretsf.wordpress.com. $25-45. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Feb 19. Shakespeare at Stinson and Independent Cabaret Productions perform the Kander and Ebb classic in an intimate setting.

Food Stories: Pleasure is Pleasure Z Space, Theater Artaud, 450 Florida, SF; www.brownpapertickets.com. $20-55. Wed/1-Thurs/2, 7pm; Fri/3-Sat/4, 8pm; Sun/5, 2pm. Word for Word serves up two short stories with a gastronomical theme — T.C. Boyle’s Sorry Fugu and Alice McDermott’s Enough — fleshed out in W4W’s trademark verbatim style by a versatile six-person ensemble under direction of John Fisher. First course, by Boyle, is a nicely acted but fairly drab comic soufflé that tastes pretty familiar. Its setting is a restaurant turned upside down by the ambition of its portly, middle-aged, married chef (Soren Oliver), obsessed with winning over the big paper’s notoriously dismissive and all-powerful food critic (Molly Benson), who turns out to be a secretly insecure bombshell with a perennial dinner companion nicknamed The Palate (Gendell Hernandez). Fisher’s cast comes together well after a few hiccups, and the staging, while sometimes erratic, includes some inspired moments. But the story as a whole has little more to it than the food-as-sex seduction we see coming early on, and consequently lacks any real suspense. More satisfying all around is McDermott’s Enough, a salty, well acted, and fluidly staged condensation of a single lifetime — bracketed by scenes of eager tonguing of ice cream dregs. In this family history of a sweetly sybaritic but otherwise ordinary American woman (played variously by Delia MacDougall and Patricia Silver) food and sex are intertwined again but hardly, as the author stresses, in a metaphorical sense: “Pleasure is pleasure,” after all, and life is good to the last drop. (Avila)

*Humor Abuse American Conservatory Theater, 415 Geary, SF; (415) 749-2228, www.act-sf.org. $10-85. Wed/1-Sat/4, 8pm (also Wed/1 and Sat/4, 2pm); Sun/5, 2pm. “This is a show about clowning,” Lorenzo Pisoni advises his audience at the outset of his graceful solo performance, “and I’m the straight man.” It’s a funny line, actually — funny because it’s true, and not true. In the deft routines that follow, as well as in the snapshots cast on the atmospherically dingy curtain hung center stage, the career of this Pickle Family Circus brat (already alone in the spotlight by age two) never veers far from the shadow of his father. That fact remains central to the winning comedy and wistful reflection in Humor Abuse. Reared in the commotion and commitment of the famed San Francisco circus founded by his parents Larry Pisoni and Peggy Snider, Lorenzo had a childhood both enviable and unusually challenging. The fact that he shares his name with both a grandfather and his dad’s famous clown persona is instructive. His trials and his triumphs are further conflated — along with his father’s —in such elegant catastrophes as falling down a long flight of stairs. And in his good-humored and honest reflections, the existential poignancy at the heart of such artful buffoonery begins to rise to the surface. The spoken narrative feels a little pinched or abbreviated, in truth, but there are no shortcuts to the skill or wider perspective inculcated by the charming Pisoni and (under direction of co-creator Erica Schmidt) set enthralling in motion. (Avila)

*Little Brother Gough Street Playhouse, 1620 Gough, SF; www.custommade.org. $25-32. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Feb 25. Custom Made Theatre Co. performs Josh Costello’s adaptation of Cory Doctorow’s San Francisco-set thriller.

Not Getting Any Younger Marsh San Francisco, Studio Theater, 1062 Valencia, SF; (415) 826-5750, www.themarsh.org. $15-50. Fri, 8pm; Sat, 5 and 8:30pm. Extended through Feb 25. Marga Gomez is back at the Marsh, a couple of too-brief decades after inaugurating the theater’s new stage with her first solo show — an apt setting, in other words, for the writer-performer’s latest monologue, a reflection on the inevitable process of aging for a Latina lesbian comedian and artist who still hangs at Starbucks and can’t be trusted with the details of her own Wikipedia entry. If the thought of someone as perennially irreverent, insouciant, and appealingly immature as Gomez makes you depressed, the show is, strangely enough, the best antidote. (Avila)

Olivia’s Kitchen Exit Theatre, 156 Eddy, SF; www.generationtheatre.com. $20-40. Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm. Through Feb 19. GenerationTheatre offers this “remix” of Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night.

“SF Sketchfest” Various venues, SF; www.sfsketchfest.com. $10-75. Wed/1-Sat/4. The 11th San Francisco Comedy Festival invades 15 venues in 17 days with local and celebrity-packed (and local-celebrity-packed) performances, film events, improv shows, and more.

Vice Palace: The Last Cockettes Musical Thrillpeddlers’ Hypnodrome, 575 10th St, SF; (415) 377-4202, www.thrillpeddlers.com. $30-35. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through March 3. Thrillpeddlers revives the Cockettes’ 1972 musical extravaganza.

Waiting for Godot Royce Gallery, 2901 Mariposa, SF; (415) 336-3522, www.tidestheatre.org. $20-38. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Feb 18. The fuchsia papier-mâché tree and swirling grey-on-white floor pattern (courtesy of scenic designer Richard Colman) lend a psychedelic accent to the famously barren landscape inhabited by Vladimir (Keith Burkland) and Estragon (Jack Halton) in this production of the Samuel Beckett play by newcomers Tides Theatre. Director (and Tides’ producing artistic director) Jennifer Welch layers the avant-garde classic with some audio accents as well (although Jon Bernson’s minimalist industrial soundscape is a bit low in the mix to be very effective). More compelling is the gentle, sad humor and couched intelligence captured expertly by Halton in the circular but deliberate rhythms of his hapless tramp. Burkland as pal Vladimir exudes a palpable presence as well, though lacks the same focus. Timing is all in vaudeville — the parallel universe from whence these tangible modernist archetypes hail — as well as in a play whose plot goes intentionally nowhere, or rather loops back on itself in an implied dance with eternity. The halting aspect to Tides’ staging gets compounded with the arrival of brash whip-cracker Pozzo (a suitably stentorian but inconsistent Duane Lawrence) and his pitiful slave Lucky (a haunted, generally sharp Renzo Ampuero, made up to look like a goth doll à la some Tim Burton movie). That said, the best moments here broadcast the brooding beauty of the play, with its purposely vague but readily familiar world of viciousness, servility, trauma, want, fear, grudging compassion, and the daring, fragile humor that can look it all squarely in the eye. (Avila)

BAY AREA

Arms and the Man Lesher Center for the Arts, Margaret Lesher Theater, 1601 Civic, Walnut Creek; (925) 943-7469, www.centerrep.org. $38-43. Wed, 7:30pm; Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2:30pm. Through Feb 25. Center REPertory Company presents George Bernard Shaw’s classic romantic comedy.

Body Awareness Aurora Theatre, 2081 Addison, Berk; (510) 843-4822, www.auroratheatre.org. $34-55. Previews Wed/1, 8pm. Opens Thurs/2, 8pm. Runs Tues, 7pm; Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through March 4. Aurora Theatre performs Annie Baker’s comedy.

Ghost Light Berkeley Repertory Theatre, Thrust Stage, 2025 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, www.berkeleyrep.org. $14.50-73. Tues, Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Sat and Feb 16, 2pm); Wed and Sun, 7pm (also Sun, 2pm). Through Feb 19. Berkeley Rep performs Tony Taccone’s world-premiere play about George Moscone’s assassination, directed by the late San Francisco mayor’s son, Jonathan Moscone.

*The Kipling Hotel: True Misadventures of the Electric Pink ’80s New venue: Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; (415) 282-3055, www.themarsh.org. $20-50. Sat, 8:30pm; Sun, 7pm. Through Feb 12. This new autobiographical solo show by Don Reed, writer-performer of the fine and long-running East 14th, is another slice of the artist’s journey from 1970s Oakland ghetto to comedy-circuit respectability — here via a partial debate-scholarship to UCLA. The titular Los Angeles residency hotel was where Reed lived and worked for a time in the 1980s while attending university. It’s also a rich mine of memory and material for this physically protean and charismatic comic actor, who sails through two acts of often hilarious, sometimes touching vignettes loosely structured around his time on the hotel’s young wait staff, which catered to the needs of elderly patrons who might need conversation as much as breakfast. On opening night, the episodic narrative seemed to pass through several endings before settling on one whose tidy moral was delivered with too heavy a hand, but if the piece runs a little long, it’s only the last 20 minutes that noticeably meanders. And even with some awkward bumps along the way, it’s never a dull thing watching Reed work. (Avila)

The Pitmen Painters TheatreWorks at Mountain View Center for the Arts, 500 Castro, SF; (650) 463-1960, www.theatreworks.org. $19-69. Tues-Wed, 7:30pm; Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm); Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Feb 12. TheatreWorks performs a new comedy from the author of Billy Elliot about a group of British miners who become art world sensations.

The World’s Funniest Bubble Show Marsh Berkeley, TheaterStage, 2120 Allston, Berk; (415) 826-5750, www.themarsh.org. $8-50. Extended run: Feb 12, 19, 26, March 11, and 18, 11am. Louis “The Amazing Bubble Man” Pearl returns with this kid-friendly, bubble-tastic comedy.

PERFORMANCE/DANCE

“Cabaret of Love” Stage Werx, 446 Valencia, SF; www.brownpapertickets.com. Mon, 7 and 9pm. $15. Picklewater Clown Cabaret performs in celebration of Valentine’s Day.

Company C Contemporary Ballet Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission, SF; (415) 978-2787. Feb 17, 8pm; Feb 18, 6:30pm (gala benefit); and Feb 19, 3pm. $23-175. The company opens its 10th anniversary season.

“Elect to Laugh” Studio Theater, Marsh San Francisco, 1062 Valencia, SF; (415) 282-3055, www.themarsh.org. Tues, 8pm. Ongoing through Nov 6. $15-50. Will Durst and friends perform in this weekly political humor show that focuses on the upcoming presidential election.

“The Eric Show” Milk Bar, 1840 Haight, SF; www.milksf.com. Tues, 8pm (ongoing). $5. Local comedians perform with host Eric Barry.

“Fortunate Daughter” Stage Werx, 446 Valencia, SF; www.brownpapertickets.com. Sun/5, March 4, April 1, May 6, 7pm. $20. Thao P. Nguyen performs her solo show about being caught between her family and her friends in the queer community.

“The Mandrake” Hastings Studio Theater, 77 Geary, SF; (415) 749-2228, www.act-sf.org. Wed/1-Sat/4 and Feb 8-11, 7:30pm. $15. American Conervatory Theater’s MFA class of 2013 performs Machiavelli’s 16th century satire of Italian society.

“The News” Somarts Cultural Center, 934 Brannan, SF; www.somarts.org. Tues/7, 7:30pm. $5. This new monthly queer performance series highlights new and experimental works and works in progress. “Precious Drop: African and Afro-Fusion Dance, Music, and Theater” CounterPULSE, 1310 Mission, SF; 1-800-350-8850, www.counterpulse.org. Fri/3-Sat/4, 8pm. $20. Mohamed Lamine Bangoura with Jaara Dance and Drum and Bu Falle African Drum and Dance present a work-in-progress about the global importance of water. BAY AREA “Cordelia, Mein Kind” TheaterStage at Marsh Berkeley, 2120 Allston, Berk; (415) 282-3055, www.themarsh.org. Thurs/2-Fri/3, 8pm; Sat/4, 5pm; Sun/5, 3pm. $15-50. The Marsh Berkeley collaborates with the Magnes Collection of Jewish Art and Life to present this multimedia Australian import by Deborah Leiser-Moore. “The Second Sin Again…” Black Repertory Group Theater, 3201 Adeline, Berk; www.punanytickets.com. Sat/4, 7pm. $25. Punany Poets perform a mix of erotic poetry, dance, comedy, and theater.

On the Cheap Listings

Andrew Lam
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Submit items for the listings at listings@sfbg.com. For further information on how to submit items for the listings, see Picks.

WEDNESDAY 1

“Singing the Golden State” early Californian music exhibition Society of California Pioneers, 300 Fourth St., SF. (415) 957-1849, www.californiapioneers.org. Through Dec. 7. Gallery hours Wed.-Fri., 10-4 p.m.; $2.50 for seniors and students; $5 general admission. The Frederick Sherman Collection and the private collection of James M. Keller join musical forces to bring to you two floors of sheet music and recording samples of songs composed in California from1849 through the 1930s. This is equivalent to striking gold for any music lover, especially those who are nostalgic for the sounds of California pre-Katy Perry.

“Acknowledged: Portraits of Project Homeless Connect” exhibition opening San Francisco Public Library, 100 Larkin, SF. (415) 557-4400, www.sfpl.org. Through March 25. Library hours Mon., 10-6 p.m.; Tue.-Thurs., 9-8 p.m.; Fri., noon-6 p.m.; Sat., 10-6 p.m.; Sun., noon-5 p.m.; free. A picture is worth a thousand words — and you need would need even more than that to describe what it’s like to be homeless in San Francisco. Photographer Joe Ramos has partnered up with Project Homeless Connect to feature 55 program participants in this powerful look at our society’s unhoused.

THURSDAY 2

“Bourbon and Bull” NightLife at the Academy California Academy of Sciences, 55 Music Concourse, SF. (415) 379-8000, www.calacademy.org/nightlife. 6-10 p.m., $12. Mix a shot of George Dickel Whisky and a sample of Bulleit Bourbon with the acoustic tunes of Jeanie and Chuck’s Country Roundup. Now add an electric bull to the mix. Sounds like our dream cocktail.

After Dark: Heartworks Exploratorium, 3601 Lyon, SF. (415) 563-7337, www.exploratorium.edu. 6-10 p.m., free with museum admission. With Valentine’s Day looming annoyingly close, many are already weary at any mention of the word “heart.” But before writing off love as an esoteric fib, join the Exploratorium for a hands-on experiment with a man-made metal heart — and maybe leave with a more tangible understanding of what makes your ticker skip a beat.

Bicycle Bingo fundraising event and launch party Actual Cafe, 6334 San Pablo, Oakl. (510) 653-8386, www.actualcafe.com. 7-9 p.m., free. Make Thursday night a bingo night and win an assortment of prizes while giving back to the Bay Area community at the debut of this weekly charity funtacular. All bingo card proceeds, along with 10 percent of cafe revenues, will go directly to the nonprofit of the week. Tonight, play for the East Bay Bicycle Coalition. Next week: Rebuilding Together Oakland.

FRIDAY 3

Secession from the Broadcast: The Challenge to Create on the Same Scale as We Can Destroy film screening and director presentation YBCA, 701 Mission, SF. (415) 978-2787, www.ybca.org. 7:30pm., $6–$10. Gene Youngblood has been talking about alternative cinema and media democracy since the 1970s. He used to write about things like the Beatles and George Lucas — tonight you can join him as he talks about the new shriek-inducing fad, the Internet.

UrbanYenta launch party Roe Nightclub, 651 Howard, SF. (415) 227-0288, www.roe-sf.com. 6-8 p.m., free. Did your last online date just completely freak you out? Now when dates goes wrong, you have an actual human matchmaker to go cry to, instead of frantically checking off comment boxes home alone on a Saturday night. UrbanYenta hopes to match you not just with a pixilated image, but a partner who will do you right.

SATURDAY 4

“The Uncomfortable Zones of Fun” experimental performance workshop Temescal Art Center, 511 48th St., Oakl. (510) 526-7858, www.temescalartcenter.org. 8 p.m., free. “Uncomfortable” and “fun” are often hard to use in the same sentence. But leave it Frank Moore, world-known performance artist, to pair the two in his improv dance, acting, and music class. Bring your instruments and sense of humor.

Little Song sonnet writing workshop Pro Arts Gallery, 150 Frank Ogawa Plaza, Oakl. (510) 763-4361, www.proartsgallery.org. 1-3 p.m., free. Poetry is said to be a way of taking life by the throat — take hold and express your soul’s desires in this sonnet workshop. There will be a limit of 30 people and seating will be first-come, first-served.

Upcycle Ball San Francisco Yellow Bike Project fundraiser and dance party Rickshaw Stop, 155 Fell, SF. (415) 861-2011, www.rickshawstop.com. 8 p.m., $10 presale; $12-25 at door. A bike-enthusiast’s version of what prom never was. Raise funds for the volunteer-powered community shop while you dance your wheels off to live performances by maus haus, Hottub, DJ Deep, and Mr. Pillz.

Bernal Yoga Literary Series author readings The Bernal Yoga Studio, 461 Cortland, SF. (415) 643-9007, www.bernalyogaseries.wordpress.com. 8 p.m., $5 suggested donation. A literary event packed with breathtaking readings from local authors. The evening will feature writers Jeff Hoffman, Li Miao Lovett, and Peter Orner, plus local authors Tom Comitta, Lara Durback, and Marisela Treviño Orta.

SUNDAY 5

Year of the Dragon celebration Asian Art Museum, 200 Larkin, SF. (415) 581-3500, www.asianart.org. 11 a.m.-4 p.m., free. Celebrate the Year of the Dragon with lion dancers, a chance to listen to dragon tales, arts and crafts, and even a yoga flow session at the end of the day. This event is perfect for people who already gave up on their New Year’s resolution and want a re-do.

MONDAY 6

The Right to Love: An American Family film premiere Castro Theatre, 429 Castro, SF. (415) 621-6120, www.castrotheatre.com. 4 p.m., $10; free for students. Bay Area filmmaker Cassie Jaye follows Jay and Bryan Leffew, a legally married gay couple living in Santa Rosa, and their two adopted kids, Daniel and Selena. The family became a YouTube sensation after posting their home videos on a channel called “Gay Family Values.” Meet with the awesome Leffews at the first public screening of their documentary.

TUESDAY 7

Exit Strategies Granta & Zyzzyva literary event and launch party City Lights Books, 261 Columbus, SF. (415) 362-8193, www.citylights.com. 6:30 p.m., free. Do you find yourself repeatedly scratching your way out of the hole you dug with your own hands? Daniel Alarcon zooms in on this conundrum in his latest novel rightly titled, Exit Strategies. He will be followed up by ZYZZYVA, who will present their latest winter issue, which includes 200 pages of poetry, prose, and visual art made by West Coast writers and artists.

An expert’s pour: What and where to drink during SF Beer Week

Andrew Lam
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Now that Drynuary has basically curled up into a ball and died (take that, seasonal sobriety!), it’s time to turn our gaze to SF Beer Week. 10 days of heavyweight gourmet beer drinking lie ahead of us, Bay Area. Even if your hankering for a beer paunch pales in comparison, say, to your desire to fit into your Valentine’s Day party dress, you have a responsibility to indulge.

For Beer Week is not just a gustatory pleasure — it supports what has burgeoned in SF into a thriving biz. Breweries sized from nano to Anchor are filling a six pack near you. Feb. 10-19 will conjure everything from urban beer hikes to beer-and-chocolate pairing events, beer-and-cheese couplings to the finest in bitter ales. Quite recently, we had the pleasure to one-on-one (via email) with David McLean, the mastermind behind all the brews at Magnolia Brewery. This isn’t his first time talking with the Guardian about the miracles of local boozing, but this time we’ve captured his can’t-miss picks for hobnobbing and hops that will take place Feb. 10-19 (and yes, they include an stout made with Hog Island oysters).

San Francisco Bay Guardian: In general, what are your top picks for Beer Week this year? 

David McLean: There are still so many incoming events in the queue to be posted to the schedule that I’m not sure we’ve even been exposed to half of what 2012’s SF Beer Week has to offer. But what I think we are starting to see is a more developed, organic process of brewers and other food-beverage professionals coming together in all kinds of great collaborations. This being the fourth year, my sense is that everyone’s creativity is much better developed following a few years of trying things out, seeing what works, seeing what other people are doing, and so forth. I’m not sure events like the Speakeasy–Schmaltz–Ninkasi–Homebrew Chef [tasting dinner with circus performers at the Elk Lodge] or the Trumer and Bols dinner at Comstock Saloon could have happened in year one, for example. And, the big opening celebration (Feb. 10) got a lot bigger this year, having moved to a new venue for us — the Concourse Exhibition Center. [Plus, we’ve] partnered with Noise Pop for the music and Off the Grid and other great vendors for the food. 

SFBG: Anyone new on the scene whose brews you’re excited to sample?

DM: After many delays (all par for the course) it is super-exciting to have Southern Pacific Brewing Company open just in time for SF Beer Week. As the first new brewery built in San Francisco in many years (close to 10), that one leads the pack in terms of excitement level. But the big story in craft beer this year is growth and newcomers to the industry — there are a number of other new beers and brewing companies in the Bay Area that are all worth trying. Another SF company just getting off the ground is Pacific Brewing Laboratories, which is starting to get its Squid Ink IPA and a couple of other beers into bars and restaurants. Almanac’s latest seasonal release, Winter Wit, should be hitting the streets just in time for Beer Week too, and it’s worth hunting down.

SFBG: A new release from a well-established local brewery you’re excited about?

DM: There are a handful of interesting collaborations among established breweries timed for Beer Week releases, but the one I am most excited about is the SF Strong Ale event that all members of the SF Brewers Guild collaborated on (and which was brewed at Speakeasy). It will debut at the opening celebration and then will be available in a very limited draft release around San Francisco (including at all Guild brewpubs).

SFBG: A food-beer pairing event you think is a can’t-miss?

DM: The creativity now happening in the world of beer dinners is something to behold. To me, the range of pairing dinners throughout Beer Week is one of its most impressive strengths. But some pairings are just so perfect as to be timeless — they’re less about being creative and more about flavors that need no help fitting together. A personal favorite is oysters and beer, particularly oysters and certain kinds of stout (especially dry stouts). We go a step further at Magnolia with an oyster stout we make using Hog Island Sweetwater oysters in the beer. The effect is subtle, and maybe it is gilding the lily, but a few freshly-shucked Sweetwaters and a glass of that beer (Oysterhead Stout) is about as good as it gets. We’ll be spending all day on Valentines Day shucking a variety of oysters and serving them with that stout and some other good oyster-pairing beers until the oysters run out. But, if I was free on February 13, you might find me at the Butcher and the Beer at the Beast and the Hare – it’s a dinner with Ryan Farr and Almanac Beer.

SFBG: Your tip for making it through Beer Week — how DO you do it?

DM: The well-timed vacation waiting on the other side of Beer Week helps maintain my sanity during Beer Week. I think many of us are already buried in Beer Week-related planning and work and the week hasn’t even started yet. With multiple events to work everyday, some near, some far, it’s a definitely a marathon and not a sprint. But it is also one of the premier celebrations of craft beer in the country and the sense of enthusiasm, camaraderie, and support from the beer community is more than enough to help us all get through the week. It’s energizing, actually. But don’t forget to hydrate.

SFBG: Has there been an increase in Bay Area craft breweries over the past year? What are the new ones?

DM: Here and everywhere. We started in 2011 with about 1,700 breweries in the country. We are creeping up on 2,000 a year later and there are something like 800 or so known to be in planning. It’s safe to say craft beer is exploding right now, and consumers have never had more quality choices for their beer drinking. In the Bay Area, some notable highlights are Southern Pacific, Elevation 66, Dying Vines, Pacific Brewing Laboratories, and Heretic Brewing. But, there are plenty more on the way in 2012.

For a full list of SF Beer Week events, head over to www.sfbeerweek.org

 

The song of Ghetto Girl

Jesse Hawthorne Ficks
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The song of Ghetto Girl

OPINION Editor’s note: POOR Magazine, one of my favorite publications, holds an annual benefit on Valentine’s Day featuring a “Battle of ALL the Sexes” poetry slam. This year’s event, hosted by Alexandra Byerly, had a mixed-martial arts theme and was held in an eight-foot cage built by artist Will Steel in the Submission Gallery in the Mission District. Judges were La Mesha Irizarry, Devorah Major and Laure McElroy. I agreed to publish the first- place winner, which follows. Find the second and third place winners on sfbg.com on the Politics blog. (Tim Redmond)

By Jewnbug

(this Battle came from the battle: Educated Ghetto Gurl vs. The Society)

Educated ghetto gurrl

born in a place

conditioned for death

raised on government cheese

parents targeted to be dope feens

houseless n hungry

society wants me to be ignorant

but ain’t no dummy

got wize to tha mizeducation

of yo surveillance

projects

public skools

prizions

U.S. military enlistings

never assimilating or listening

stay thug life

resisting

rising to tha top

singing ghetto supastar!

Consciousness

cultivated underground

can’t afford yo brand name labels

making my fashion talk of tha town

rebel with a cause

speaking out against

yo policies, protocalls, laws

prohibited my native tongue

pigeon

slang

Ebonics

U ain’t my god

n I ain’t yo son

speaking too loud too fast

causing lyrical whiplash

I smash on u

U thinking u more dignified

cuz I rock a shoelace fo a belt on sum jeans

please!

U put me down

then capitalize on my swagger

like, “that’s hella ghetto”

I don’t play tho

no diplomatic tactful rage

straight up in yo face

u label me

trouble maker

that’s code for

truth teller

fo real for real

no faker

I know tru essence of success

despite the mess

of yo civilized vest

my interest to do more then survive

manifest

came when I held my head high

with no shame

yea I’m from the ghetto

n I’m doing big thangs

educated ghetto gurrl

she was kung fu fighting

she was always writing

educated ghetto gurrl

puttin’ whole society on trial

n bringing them to their knees

Hot sexy events: February 16-22

Andrew Lam
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Hot sexy events: February 16-22

‘Tis the weekly sex events of playa-sized proportions! In addition to our city editor Steve Jones’ reading at Kinky Salon this week, this week you can also catch a reception for a new art book on goofily half-attired or gleefully naked Burners published for the world to see, courtesy of playa photographer Julian Cash.

The People of Burning Man is the product of Cash’s insistence on bringing an immaculate white portable studio to the playa year after year,  setting up actual photo shoots in a festival world where most documentation relies on the most candid of cameras. The result is that BRC’s wacky personas and costumes are explicated and orchestrated better than they’d ever be if you just saw them strutting past you through Center Camp. Not surprisingly, a lot of the photos have to do with sex. But Cash’s impish camera-side manner has a way of making even the most pierced, punked perv look playful (I should know, he took myphotos last fall) – and his signature white backdrop strips his subjects’ context away so that you can really focus on what that pair of furry pink chaps, nipple paint, or lifted tutu wants to express.

 

The People of Burning Man opening art reception

With the publication of his playa photo book finally funded thanks to the omnipotent powers of Kickstarter, feel free to kick back and revel in the cheekiness of Julian Cash’s art book images – and perhaps make plans for a photo shoot of your own with the man? 

Thurs/17 6-8 p.m., free

Good Vibrations 

1620 Polk, SF

(415) 345-0500

www.goodvibes.com


Sizzle

One of the hottest spoken word open mics around, tonight marks the start of February’s impressive collaborations between Femina Potens – which is currently in-between brick-and-mortar gallery locations – and Mission Control. Featuring the likes of adult filmmaker-writer-educator Tristan Taormino, Valencia scribe Michelle Tea, and dominatrix Keva i Lee, you’re bound (and gagged) to catch something you like onstage. 

Fri/18 8-11 p.m., $10

Mission Control

www.missioncontrolsf.org


“Love you – mean it! Love in the context of S&M”

Complete with in-person scene demonstrations, this workshop will look at ways that femme tops can show love even while they inflict anxiety, struggle, and pain in their subs. Come with questions about how to apply the lessons to your own sex life and take note – no male-identifying lovahs at this one, just like at all other Exiles S&M education events.

Fri/18 7:30-10:30 p.m., $4-10

Women’s Building

3543 18th St., SF

(415) 431-1180

www.theexiles.org


Kinky Salon Sweetheart’s Ball

Kinky Salon is counting on the fact that you’re totally over Valentine’s Day bullshit and yet totally ready to don your Candyland finest and ooze that sugary-sweet all over your swinger pals. For two nights in a row! Well, you don’t have to go to the costume play party for both nights, but if you’re going to take in all the performances – which include a duet with Polly Superstar and Bow Wow Wow’s Leigh Gorman and a reading by our own city editor of his new dissection of Burning Man culture – and still have time to get your gumdrop off, you may need to. 

Fri/18-Sat/19 10 p.m.-late, $30-35 members only

Mission Control 

www.missioncontrolsf.org


School of Shimmy Burlesque 101

Oh man… how do those burlesque ladies do it? Dottie Lux can tell you, if you like. Lux’ll be performing onstage at Burlesque Moulin at the Down Low on Sat/19, and she’s just dropping back in Sunday afternoon to impart the basics of booty-shake to burlesque wannabees. Interested? Jump up there girl, show us your tap pants. 

Sun/20 1-3 p.m., $30 discounted tickets available night of Sat/19 show

The Shattuck Down Low

2284 Shattuck, Berk.

(201) 615-9245

www.shattuckdownlow.com


One year in: BDSM newbie panel

There’s plenty of places in town where you can go to hear the escapades of BDSM stalwarts, the individuals who’ve done it all. But what’s it like to be discovering it all for the first time(s)? This panel discussion will feature people who’ve dove into the scene in the last 365 days, moderated by Gabby, who says she entered the scene in 2007 and promptly started disobeying all the advice of those in the know. 

Tues/22 8-10 p.m., $20

SF Citadel 

277 Mission, SF

(415) 626-2746

www.sfcitadel.org

 

Noise Pop 2011 highlights

Jesse Hawthorne Ficks
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Noise Pop 2011 highlights

MUSIC The 2011 edition of Noise Pop finds the festival stretching the definition of noise pop ever further outward in order to swallow excellent sounds. Back in 1993, when Noise Pop originated, muted My Bloody Valentine-derivative bands with lowercase names evocative of junior-high lunch were the norm. This year, the fest taps into the recent, more sharp-edged shoegaze revival and the current California garage rock zeitgeist, while also making room for hip-hop, freak folk, and deep funk. It’s safe to say that, unlike the character assassinated in Steely Dan’s “Hey 19,” Noise Pop at 19 knows about the queen of soul. Here’s our guide to some of the event’s best lineups.

>>Read more of our Noise Pop 2011 picks here

 

PEANUT BUTTER WOLF AND DÂM-FUNK: THE DISCOVERERS

It’s the midnight hour on Valentine’s Day in Portugal when I reach Dâm-Funk, a.k.a. Damon Riddick, on the phone. He’s just outside of Lisbon, his surroundings are “phenomenal,” and he’s ready to wax enthusiastic about his longtime partner in funk Peanut Butter Wolf. “Me and Chris [Manak, a.k.a. Peanut Butter Wolf] connect on that sound because we remember and we revere,” he says, when I ask about their shared love of soul, hip-hop, and funk. “We knew what it was like before cable television and the Internet existed, we remember everything from those early VHS tapes to the way the sun set.”

As the sun is still rising on Valentine’s Day, in L.A., the man Dâm-Funk calls “Wolf” for short shows similar brotherly love. “When Dâm met me, we had a mutual respect,” says Manak. “He saw my record collection and vice-versa. When we discover songs, we’ll say, ‘Check this out.'” In turn, this shared enthusiasm, and the positive response to Dâm-Funk’s albums Toeachizown and Adolescent Funk — both released on Manak’s label, Stones Throw – has recharged funk sounds in Los Angeles and SF, and led to new discoveries of soulful and funky treasures from the recent past.

One such gem is Jeff Phelps’ 1985 Magnetic Eyes, a Tascam Portastudio 244 bedroom recording with sensational vocals by Antoinette Marie Pugh, who stars in a terrific no-budget video for the album’s “Hear My Heart” currently up on YouTube. “That album is something I’ve known about for a long time,” Dâm-Funk says, when I mention Magnetic Eyes and its hand-drawn yet futuristic cover art. “It’s a great project.”

Another great project is Tony Cook’s Back to Reality (Stones Throw), a collection of mid-1980s recordings by a musician who got his start as James Brown’s drummer. Taking on the role of executive producer, Manak has added some extra pop to the already formidable strut of Cook songs such as “Heartbreaker,” even drafting in Dâm-Funk to contribute new vocals to one track, “What’s On Your Mind.” “You’d think they were 24-track recordings, but he [Cook] only worked on an 8-track,” marvels Manak. “He was a good musician and producer – when you’re bouncing tracks, you have to know what you’re doing. In those days it was hard to achieve a full sound like that.”

These days, both Dâm-Funk and Peanut Butter Wolf know what they’re doing — and that’s a damn lot. Reflecting his Gemini nature, Dâm is planning to explore the dark side on an EP with that title before venturing into the light on his next LP. He’s also remixed Nite Jewel and is collaborating with her on a project, Nite Funk. He’s producing music by Steve Arrington for Stones Throw, and he wants to put out another chapter of his archival venture Adolescent Funk, with him choosing the tracks instead of Manak. As for the man Dâm calls “Wolf,” he’s got Stones Throw’s 15th anniversary on his hands, including a 7-inch box set, and a series of live-to-vinyl performances by the label’s artists in L.A. These guys are busy, but — fortunately for Noise Pop, and for SF — that doesn’t mean they don’t have time to throw a 45 party. (Johnny Ray Huston)

PEANUT BUTTER WOLF, DAM-FUNK

With Guillermo (Sweater Funk), Hakobo (Fresco)

Sat./26, 9 p.m., $15 (21+)

Public Works

161 Erie, SF

(415) 932-0955

www.publicsf.com

 

DOMINANT LEGS: LOST IN LOVE

Whether he’s raging in the streets alongside fellow Giants maniacs or musically lost between the sheets, Dominant Legs’ Ryan Lynch sounds like he’s sweet to the core—and even more. “I didn’t have anything to do with setting the mattress on fire, but I was there,” says the SF musician of SF’s impromptu World Series throw-downs. “But I wasn’t stopping anybody from celebrating.”

Lynch also rolls with the love when it comes to music. “I don’t really listen to much music that would be characterized as aggressive,” he continues, on one of those sunny Bay afternoons that make it easy to float away on blue skies and daydreams. “I listen to pop music and, honestly, mostly KISS FM.” His favorite song on this crisp, creamy day is R. Kelly’s “Lost in Your Love.” “It’s all about him wanting to bring love songs back to the radio,'” Lynch adds. “And that’s sort of what I also aspire to—not that we get any radio play!”

But, oh, a girl — or a boy who once was a Girl (until recently, Lynch was Girls’ touring guitarist) — can dream. And dreams have been coming true for Lynch, a longtime Giants follower who recently contributed “Finally Champions” to a digital-only benefit comp of Giants tribute songs released by True Panther. Meanwhile Dominant Legs continues to pick up steam—and members.

Once the repository of Ryan’s solo singer-songwriter imaginings away from longtime band Magic Bullets, Dominant Legs found favor when the Redwood City-bred musician was laid off from his job as mail clerk-receptionist at a law firm. He didn’t sink his sparse funds into job retraining classes or the like; instead he bought a cheap Casio keyboard and drum machine. “I shouldn’t have been spending any money,” he recalls now. “But the direction of the music really took off after acquiring those pieces of musical equipment.” Friend Hannah Hunt, who had just graduated from college, offered to help out at a 2009 show at Amnesia and ended up sticking around.

“She brought a softness, and delicacy, which made the songs more delicate since her voice is so different from mine,” he observes. “I think her voice is easier on the ear than mine.” For Noise Pop, the two have acquired a few more legs to help them on their way: drummer Rene Solomon, bassist Andrew Connors, and guitarist Garrett Godard, the latter once the drummer for Girls.

They’ll be filling out the already intoxicating pop bounding off Dominant Legs’ 2010 EP, Young at Love and Life (Lefse), which has inspired music bloggers to go wild, tossing out scattershot, albeit flattering allusions to Orange Juice and Belle and Sebastian, Kelley Polar and Arthur Russell—and even Dave Matthews. Feeling lost again? Just listen to the earnestly lovelorn, gently bopping, synth-popping tunes like the title track and “Clawing Out at the Walls,” with its curious admixture of sweetness and self-doubt. Kindred spirits and modern lovers such as Jeremy Jay and Camera Obscura, also given to such exquisitely anxious reveries, would understand. “The only thing I’ve heard is that [the EP] is too heavily influenced by the ’80s,” says Lynch. “But I don’t see that as a problem.” (Kimberly Chun)

DOMINANT LEGS

With How to Dress Well, Shlohmo, Chelsea Wolfe

Sat./26, 8 p.m., $12–$14

Café Du Nord

2170 Market, SF

(415) 861-5016

www.cafedunord.com

 

ADMIRAL RADLEY: LIFE AFTER GRANDADDY

Jason Lytle has never been shy in revealing the frustrations leading up to Grandaddy’s demise. Exhaustion from middling success, a love/hate relationship with his lifelong home of Modesto, and a diminished interest in making music with others resulted in a move to Montana to focus on a solo career in 2006. Enter Admiral Radley, a collaboration with members of indie-pop group Earlimart and Grandaddy drummer Aaron Burtch that has him not only playing in a band again, but touring Japan and singing about his former home on songs such as the sarcastic “I Heart California.” Lytle took some time out from a snowy day of magazine shopping at Borders in his new hometown of Bozeman to talk about the project.

SFBG Rumors of a collaboration between you and Earlimart date back to the Grandaddy days. What led to you guys finally working together?

Jason Lytle It was really an excuse to hang out at [Aaron Espinoza’s] studio and just have people coming in and playing parts. We set aside a week as a fun little project. Maybe somebody else had other plans for it, but at the time, I was convinced it was just gonna be a cool opportunity to make a record and be done with it.

SFBG Were you guys surprised by the amount of excitement surrounding the project?

JL Yeah. Then it turned into, alright, we gotta name this record something, and give the band a name, and pretty soon it was this real entity. The Japan thing started off as a joke, and then became more of, “Let’s give this a go, and if it winds up getting us to Japan, we can call it good” — and the whole thing was worth it.

SFBG And how were the Japan shows?

JL They were really scrappy. The places were just dumps. I kept joking with Aaron, saying, “If we weren’t in Japan right now, and if these weren’t exceptional circumstances, there’s no way I’d be putting up with this.”

SFBG You’d expressed some skepticism about playing in bands again after Grandaddy split. Has this experience changed your opinion?

JL My place in Admiral Radley is totally different from what my situation was with Grandaddy. I’m getting off easy. Aaron is a great organizer and knows that a big appeal for me joining the band was not dealing with a lot of the day-to-day crap I used to deal with. I feel like I’m a piece of a puzzle with this band, which after all these years is something I’ve never really experienced. So it’s been kind of neat.

SFBG Both you and Aaron like being hands-on with production in your work. How was the collaborative process on this album?

JL That part was pretty effortless. Aaron and I share a lot of the same philosophies on production and making albums sound a certain way. I definitely sat in on some of the mixing, but there was a lot of it where I was just able to trust what he was going to do, knowing that it probably wouldn’t be too far off from what I’d do myself.

SFBG Was it strange writing lyrics about California now that you’ve been gone for almost five years?

JL I’ve definitely had a renewed perspective. Every time I visit or I’m there doing some work, I’m thrust right into the shit. Like right into L.A. or SF, rather than adjusting or letting it sink in slowly. So, usually it’s pretty jarring for me just because the pace is a lot more relaxed and different here. Having a bit of that outside perspective now allows me to look at things a bit differently. (Landon Moblad)

ADMIRAL RADLEY

With Typhoon, Social Studies, Fake Your own Death

Wed./23, 8 p.m., $12 (21+)

Bottom of the Hill

1233 17th St., SF

(415) 621-4455

www.bottomofthehill.com

 

GEOGRAPHER: EARTH PEOPLE

The dress code doesn’t include a finely-pressed lab coat, and the toolbox isn’t filled with fragile beakers, but a geographer is indeed a scientist, one who pours himself into the earth and bleeds across its surfaces to observe and categorize its residents. I haven’t asked the members of the San Francisco synth-pop trio Geographer if this occupation has had any inspiration on its sound, but there’s reason to believe the answer may be a humble yes.

Geographer has discovered new ground in the electronic realm. Its unique ménage a trois of music-making contraptions — drums, synth and cello — produces audible scenery that simultaneously calms and energizes the senses. Luscious forests of synth share habitats with rushing bass and guitar. The cello adds a sneaky-smooth layer that easily melts between or melds the more jagged sounds.

Behind the sweet scenery resides a less than pretty picture. Themes of loss and inevitable change creep through their sun-stained melodies, pulling at the roots of the band’s core. In 2005, Michael Deni fled his home in New Jersey, after the unexpected deaths of two family members. He landed in SF, and his instruments became a source of comfort and release while he wandered the new, unfamiliar territory. After a period of searching and surveying, Deni met and began collaborating with Nathan Blaz and Brian Ostreicher. In 2008, Geographer self-released its debut full-length, Innocent Ghosts, a far more relaxed collection that showcases Deni’s round, patient voice.

The landscapes on 2010’s Animal Shapes (Tricycle) are majestic, but far more celebratory. Things are tighter spun, beats kick harder and there’s a cohesive exploratory factor. Specifically fabulous: “Kites,” a track that strikes gold with a lustrous synth party. Deni’s sincere vocals float high above the mountainous bass vibrations, but mingle ever so courteously with the shrill, twinkling electronic additions. Enter the romantic cello and the song is a straight-up gem.

Now is a good time to button up your favorite white jacket and take some notes on the current environment in which you reside. Whether you’re into earth science or not, Geographer is a swell listen that goes well with salty pretzels and an adventure around your own neighborhood. Animal Shapes on repeat will keep you in step with eyes and ears open. And listen carefully: there’s good word on the street about these Geographer guys in the live form. (Amber Schadewald)

GEOGRAPHER

With Butterly Bones, K Flay, Funeral Party

Wed./23, 8 p.m., $13–$15

The Independent

628 Divisadero, SF

(415) 771-1421

www.theindependentsf.com

 

PSYCHIC FRIEND: PIANO POWER

Will Schwartz and the piano go way back, to when he was nine. “I’ve been attracted to the C chord and to A minor since I was a kid,” he says from L.A., where he’s living in Los Feliz. “I learned to play piano by ear, and it was always based on [starting with] a C major and going from there.”

You could say Schwartz played his first gigs on the instrument. “We had this two-story living room in our house in New Jersey with a little balcony, and the piano was up on the balcony,” he says with a laugh. “I would imagine I was playing for people down below. I would put on shows for the living room furniture.”

In his new band Psychic Friend, Schwartz updates California chamber or piano pop for today’s era, with contributions by Hole drummer Patty Schemel and instrumentalist-producer Bo Boddie. The result is a fresh chapter in Schwartz’s musical story, one that has ranged from the guitar-rock of Imperial Teen to the D.I.Y. choreographed pop of Hey Willpower, which involved contributions from videomaker Justin Kelly, DJ Chelsea Starr, and musician Tomo Yasuda.

Crisp and clean, in a way Psychic Friend sounds like the moment Schwartz has found his voice, or unknown heights or depths of it. The pounding “Once a Servant” revives the spirit of Jobriath. “Water Sign” has a Serge Gainsbourg undercurrent. “Shouldn’t Have Tried Again”‘s rendering of the repeat failure of a relationship matches the plaintive sunshine-y yearning of Harry Nilsson’s sublime covers of Randy Newman.

You could say Psychic Friend is new Californian pop. The piano-based melodic immediacy of the group’s sound has a kinship to Carole King’s solo work, or Burt Bacharach and some of his hits for psychic and other friends, yet both the sound and the lyrical content is very contemporary, not retro. It also isn’t Rufus Wainwright showboating — tracks like “We Do Not Belong” allow Schwartz’s voice a freedom and resonance it hasn’t had before, but he doesn’t run away with himself. “The nature of playing a piano and writing melodic songs, it almost brings you back to ’70s songwriting,” Schwartz observes.

“I just found this place in my voice that feels very connected, actually, that comes from playing the piano, and it feels good,” he adds, simply.

Schemel’s powerful drumming and Boddie’s hit-making skills have a role in this shift. “It’s like an Eddie and the Cruisers feeling,” Schwartz says, “where you start to play something, and by the end it sounds like a finished song.” (Huston)

PSYCHIC FRIEND

With The Concretes, Birds and Batteries, Magic Bullets

Fri./25, 8:30 p.m., $13–$15

Rickshaw Stop

155 Fell, SF

(415) 861-2011

www.rickshawstop.com

Editor’s Notes

Jesse Hawthorne Ficks
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Editor’s Notes

tredmond@sfbg.com

In a heartwarming Valentine’s Day blog, Paul Krugman, the Nobel Prize-winning economist, talks about an old cartoon that ran in the 1980s showing Democrats trying to develop a centrist economic policy that cut spending on social programs. “How is this different from Republicans?” one Democrat asks. The answer: “We care about the victims of our policies.”

That, Krugman says, “is pretty much my reaction to the Obama budget.” The president talks about how awful the cuts will be, how programs he cares about will have to go, how painful this all is for him. Not that he’s going to miss any meals or wind up homeless, but whatever: we can all feel his pain.

It’s also pretty much my reaction to The Bay Citizen report that ran in The New York Times Feb. 13 on the pension reform negotiations going on at City Hall and in the office of billionaire financier Warren Hellman.

Hellman, Mayor Ed Lee, Sup. Sean Elsbernd, and some labor leaders are talking about how to avoid another bruising ballot measure fight this fall. Hellman backed off from supporting Public Defender Jeff Adachi’s Proposition B last year after some labor folks convinced him they could come up with a better plan.

Hellman’s new bottom line: the group needs to find between $300 million and $400 million in savings. He is quoted as saying: “I hate that it comes out of the hide” of city workers. “It is going to be really painful.”

Warren Hellman’s not a bad guy. I’ve met him, he’s polite and friendly, sometimes even almost sort of a liberal on some issues, and I think he does feel bad about cutting the pensions of low-level city employees. I even agree with him that the pension system needs reform.

But here’s the problem: nothing ever comes out of the hides of the rich.

Over the past five years, San Francisco has cut hundreds of millions in city spending. City employees have given back many millions more in concessions. Nonprofits have cut back services to the poor, the disabled, the sick.

But we haven’t asked big business and wealthy people to give up anything. Hellman hasn’t had to tighten his belt. Corporate executives in the city still make huge salaries. They’re not closing the swimming pool at the Olympic Club.

I could support pension reform — if Hellman, Elsbernd, and Lee would support tax reform. Then we can all feel each other’s pain. For once.

Hounds and haunches: an evening at the pitbull burlesque

Andrew Lam
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I’ve been to some militant burlesque shows, but Saturday night’s was probably one of the most radical. Lucky 13 was packed from the bar to the retro popcorn popper, temperatures were rising as high as the wooden balconies above us and onstage a diminutive man and his hound refused to be parted in the eyes of the law. “No more breed-specific legislation!” the speaker thundered. It was the burlesque community’s benefit for Pinups for Pitbulls and Chako, splendidly named the Valentine’s Day Pitty Party, and tonight it was all about the pitbulls. And naked women. But mostly pitbulls.  

Power to the pitbulls! Pitbulls at the door, pitbulls patiently attending their owners’ smoke breaks, pitbulls by the merch table. There is nothing more satisfying than petting a barrel-headed canine whilst you wait for retro-ready striptease. The short guy was Shorty Rossi, who has a show on Animal Planet about his pitbull rescue group, the season highlight trailer of which makes him look like a more benevolent and sharper dressed Dog the Bounty Hunter. 

Rossi was fresh off of a protest in Denver against the city’s ban on pitbulls within city limits. He had his pit Hercules up there on stage with him, who also appears on the show, occasionally combating pitbull racism from Hollywood casting directors. Herc’s even got his own IMDb page, for chrissakes.

And the naked ladies! These were pro tassel-twirlers, a little un-used to Lucky 13’s lack-thereof-of a raised stage platform, but made do with the newfound intimacy the venue afforded with the heaving masses that had come to see them lip sync, dance, in some cases sing for real. There was that and the shitty sound system, which kept cutting out and leaving the performers to really, really earn those doggies a home. But honestly no one stopped dancing, there was enough to look at to keep the crowds appeased, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves besides the bitchy girls that were standing behind me commenting on how saggy everyone’s boobs were. Note to those girls: no one’s boobs were saggy, and if you’ve got something better to why don’t you hop up onstage and get to it?

My personal favorites were the Jellyfish Burlesque sword-fighters from Sebastopol and the blonde-beautiful Honey Penny, whose hair and general turned-out demeanor I would be lucky to recreate given a personal makeup artist, a Dollhouse Bettie residency, and a gift certificate for etiquette classes (do they do those anymore?). Honey Lawless turned in a great, tired businesswoman-into-harlot routine as well.

And I learned about pit bulls. BSL no, I say! And my boyfriend now thinks I have the power to create Valentine’s Day events tailored specifically to his needs and wants (they were serving, besides boobs and dog-petting time, special drafts from Ninkasi and Speakeasy). If you have a similarly-minded sweetheart on this black, heart-shaped rainstorm of a day, you might take them to Hubba Hubba’s weekly gig at the Uptown in Oakland tonight, although there will be no puppies, there will be plenty of excuses to “celebrate” a holiday that we all, ostensibly, think is for the dogs.

 

Hubba Hubba Revue

Mon/14 10:15 p.m., $5  

The Uptown 

1928 Telegraph, Oakl.

www.uptownnightclub.com

 

Date with Satan? “Mosh Potatoes” to the rescue!

Sue Vaughan
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Date with Satan? “Mosh Potatoes” to the rescue!

Sure, Julia Child was a badass in her own way — but do you think she ever blasted Seventh Son of a Seventh Son while cooking up beef bourguignon? (Gonna guess … not. I saw the movie so I’m kind of an expert.) For all the would-be chefs who prefer their kitchen adventures with a side of Satan comes Steve “Buckshot” Seabury’s Mosh Potatoes: Recipes, Anecdotes and Mayhem from the Heavyweights of Heavy Metal (Atria Books, $15).

Mosh Potatoes isn’t the first-ever metal-themed cookbook (see also: Hellbent for Cooking: The Heavy Metal Cookbook by Annick Giroux, which similarly features recipe contributions from famous headbangers). But Mosh Potatoes has the better name. Also, download site Loudtrax.com is running a contest (it ends Monday, a.k.a. February 14, a.k.a. Valentine’s Day) in conjunction with the book. For brave culinary warriors only, “We Dare You to Cook Up Lemmy!” offers Kilmister-approved prizes for folks willing to attempt the Motorhead legend’s contribution to the book. (Details here; the recipe involves chocolate syrup, curry powder, brandy, and fire, among other things. It is called “Krakatoa Surprise,” and I wouldn’t get near it even if you offered me a suit made out of Ove Gloves.)

For those with less suicidal palates, Mosh Potatoes offers a variety of appetizers (“Opening Acts”), main dishes (“Headliners”), and desserts (“Encores”), explained in first-person style by whoever contributed the dish. Some of the recipes are more Food Network-ready than others (Dave Witte of Municipal Waste‘s surprisingly sophisticated Turkey Gyoza with Soy-Vinegar Sauce; Aaron from Red Fang‘s Red Fang Pad Thai); some are worth reading just because of the anecdote (see: Life of Agony’s Joey Zampella’s lobster-hypnosis tips) or suspicious items in the ingredient list (I lost track of how many people included beer or booze, not for the food but for the chef to drink while cooking.)

I’m generally crap in the kitchen, but I can definitely mix a bunch of ingredients together and shove them in an oven. So in lieu of Krakatoa Surprise, I decided to make “The Best Blueberry Muffins,” created by Darkest Hour‘s Paul Burnette. I made sure to pick a recipe from a band I actually know and like; the book’s artists are overall pretty cool, but there are a few odd numbers (Mudvayne? Come on now.)

The muffins call for all the usual ingredients (butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla, flour, etc.) plus a boatload of blueberries. They were delicious, though the note about waiting for the muffins to cool before taking them out of the pan was key. Lots of blueberries = lots of molten blueberry juice waiting to sear anyone who dared try and nudge a muffin out of the pan before due time.

They were best within the first 24 hours — I’d recommend making them fresh before, like, a brunch and (after they cool off, f’reals) sharing them with a group. Not too sweet but full of blueberry goodness — perfect for hangovers. My batch of batter made around 18 smallish muffins and they were dee-lish.

Here’s my quarrel with Mosh Potatoes, and I suspect it’s simply due to the number, er, nature of the beast: though author Seabury says he tested out all the recipes while compiling the book, the instructions here aren’t as thorough as you’d find in a typical cookbook. If you’re a kitchen-phobe like me, expect to be intimidated by vague or imprecise instructions for some of the entries. Even something simple as muffins, I would’ve liked to have known how many muffins the batch was going to make before I started out, which is something a reg’lar cookbook would’ve divulged.

But while Julia Child always offered thorough instructions, she certainly didn’t pepper her recipes with drinking games (to my knowledge), and she never used Jägermeister as an ingredient (did she? If so, contact me ASAP with deets). Mosh Potatoes may be light on haute cuisine, but it’s heavy on nacho-salsa-guac varieties, groupie gossip, bad puns (“Kale ‘Em All,” har har), and does contain at least one recipe that should not be read while eating (talking to you and your barfy “ball cheese,” Michael Starr of Steel Panther). For those about to cook…

Valley of the (killer) dolls

Jesse Hawthorne Ficks
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Valley of the (killer) dolls

CHUCKY CHEESE It’s hard not to fall in love with Jennifer Tilly. Star of hits big (1997’s Liar Liar) and cult (1996’s Bound), she’s an Oscar-nominated (for 1994’s Bullets Over Broadway) actor who also happens to be a champion poker player. Though she specializes in dim-bulb sexpots, Tilly is no dummy — witness her hilarious turn in 2004’s Seed of Chucky. In addition to providing the voice for killer doll Tiffany (whom she also portrayed in 1998’s Bride of Chucky) she also plays “Jennifer Tilly,” a character who kinda but not really resembles the real Jennifer Tilly.

Seed of Chucky, directed by Child’s Play series creator Don Mancini, is the most gleefully campy Chucky film to date (John Waters cameo!) San Francisco’s favorite horror hostess, Peaches Christ, is bringing Tilly and Mancini to town for a special pre-Valentine’s Day screening. What better excuse to talk with Chucky’s main squeeze?

SFBG Are you excited about the Seed of Chucky event with Peaches Christ?

Jennifer Tilly We are so thrilled to be getting the Peaches Christ treatment. We loved the trailer — Don Mancini was like, “Oh my God, this is so exciting!” He’s the one who created the Chucky series. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but over the years the franchise has just gotten more and more warped, and I really think the true spirit of Don Mancini is starting to come through.

SFBG I remember the first few Child’s Play movies did actually try to be scary.

JT A lot of people say that they were so scared when they saw the first Chucky movies that they couldn’t have any dolls around. But by now, everybody knows what Chucky is about. When we did Bride of Chucky, I think, there’s a line where somebody goes, “Oh my God, Chucky isn’t even scary. He’s so ’80s.” So when Don did Seed of Chucky, he just decided to go to town with it. Don just kind of got free reign to do whatever he wanted — though the studio did give him some notes when they got the first draft. They said, “It’s too funny. It’s too gay. And there’s too much Jennifer Tilly.” When he told me that, I thought, “How could there be too much Jennifer Tilly”? (Laughs.)

SFBG Did you have a hand in creating the “Jennifer Tilly” character?

JT After Bride of Chucky, Don became one of my very best friends. When he said I was going to play myself in Seed of Chucky, I said, “Oh, you have to make me an over-the-hill, horrible, obnoxious diva.” The studio was saying, “She’s too unlikable. She’s the protagonist, she should be likeable!” They didn’t understand that we were sort of deconstructing the genre. But a lot of the lines that were in the movie, I actually came up with — like when Tiffany is dragging Jennifer Tilly’s unconscious body, she goes, “Fuck, she’s fat!” Which was something I just ad-libbed. There were a lot of lines about how my career was in the toilet, like the famous line “I’m an Oscar nominee, and now I’m fucking a puppet!” The only thing Don had me do that I didn’t want to do was throw up in my purse. But I’m a pro. (Laughs.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqtxZUvu4lQ

SFBG I heard that Don Mancini is planning a return-to-scary remake of Child’s Play (1988). Are you involved in that?

JT There are a lot of rumors — they definitely have the go-ahead to make the next Chucky movie, and I think that was one of the ideas. The other idea was to continue the Seed of Chucky story, because people really like the character of (Chucky’s child) Glen-Glenda. I honestly think we’ve come too far to turn back now. (Laughs.) I think the idea behind the remake is that we have so many more special effects, so you could do it so much more realistically. But I don’t think a good horror movie is about having the most brilliant special effects. It’s in the writing and the presentation and the acting.

Also, I just think the direction that Chucky is going — I’ve made over 60 movies, but everywhere I go, the No. 1 movie that people know me from is Bride of Chucky. I go to foreign countries where they don’t know any English at all, and they point at me and yell “Bride of Chucky!” And Don conceived Seed of Chucky as being a cross between Sunset Boulevard (1950) and Ordinary People (1980) — it’s not just a slasher film. There’s something for everybody!

WHEN CHUCKY MEETS PEACHES CHRIST

Sat/12, 8 p.m., $20

Victoria Theatre

2961 16th St., SF

www.peacheschrist.com

 

Delicious love

Jesse Hawthorne Ficks
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Delicious love

V-DAY What if this year Valentine’s paired romance with a visit to one of SF’s best new restaurants? Here are new additions to the local dining scene in 2010 that will please food lovers (and who isn’t, in this city?) while offering a range of price points in love-worthy settings.

 

FOR AMOROUS EXPERIMENTALISTS: COMMONWEALTH

Anthony Myint and chef Jason Fox are reinventing fine dining. Your edgy foodie date will be impressed. Myint was a mastermind behind Mission Street Food and Mission Chinese Food. Here at Commonwealth with Chef Fox, he delves into deliciously experimental creations with a fresh, unpretentious approach. And shockingly, no dish costs more than $16. Dine on goat cooked in hay while sipping a liquid nitrogen aperitif, finish with porcini thyme churros with huckleberry jam. You may be packed in tight in the spare, modern space, but you’ll both leave glowing from stimulating flavors and presentation.

2224 Mission, SF. (415) 355-1500, www.commonwealthsf.com

 

FOR OLD WORLD ROMANTICS: COMSTOCK SALOON

The Barbary Coast comes alive in this bar-restaurant gem that feels like a timeless classic … and isn’t too taxing on the wallet. From Victorian wallpaper to restored dark woods, the spirit and history of the space entice. Filling up on rich beef shank and bone marrow potpie or bites like whiskey-cured gravlax on rye toast is happy respite on chilly nights. Pair with a perfect Martinez cocktail or a barkeep’s whimsy (bartender’s creation based on your preferences), and see if your date doesn’t cozy up with you next to that wood-burning stove. Comstock exemplifies the best of what a modern-day saloon with Old World sensibilities can be.

155 Columbus, SF. (415) 617-0071, www.comstocksaloon.com

 

FOR LOVING LOCAVORES: GATHER

Gather is the best thing to come along in Berkeley in ages, and ideal for your local or locavore-y date. It reads typical Bay Area yet goes further: local, sustainable, organic everything, including spirits, wine, and beer. A rounded room with open kitchen is holistically casual and urban. All the raves you’ve heard about the vegan “charcuterie” are true. Marvel at the artistic, affordable array of five different vegetable presentations on a wood slab, like roasted baby beets with fennel, dill, blood orange, horseradish almond puree, and pistachio. Executive chef Sean Baker and team do meat right, too, whether sausage/pork belly/chile pizza or house-cured ham topped with crescenza cheese. Gather displays an ethos and presentation one can only dream of becoming a standard everywhere.

2200 Oxford, Berk. (510) 809-0400, www.gatherrestaurant.com

 

FOR BEEF-LOVING BEAUS: THE SYCAMORE

Skip the Valentine’s Day’s hoopla and take your sweetie out for a night that will make you feel like kids again — to the Sycamore, which offers a delicious “famous” roast beef sandwich. A glorified Arby’s staple on grocery store-reminiscent sesame buns with BBQ sauce and mayo, the sandwich salutes the native Bostonian owners’ roots. But the roast beef sandwich isn’t the only item that shines at this humble Mission eatery, which doubles as a cozy beer and wine bar. Pork belly-stuffed donut holes in Maker’s Mark bourbon glaze are pretty near orgasmic. A slab of pan-fried Provolone cheese is enlivened by chimichurri sauce and roasted garlic bulb. I applaud its all-day hours and prices under $9.

2140 Mission, SF. (415) 252 7704, www.thesycamoresf.com

 

FOR PURIST PARAMOURS: HEIRLOOM CAFÉ

The menu (less than 10 starters and entrees) is so simple I almost got bored reading it. But each dish served in this Victorian-yet-modern dining room was so well executed that my skepticism vanished. More than a little Chez Panisse in its ethos, Heirloom will delight that special someone with a purist take on food, with ultra fresh, pristine ingredients, impeccably prepared. Savor a mountain of heirloom tomatoes piled over toasted bread with pickled fennel, cucumbers, and feta, or a flaky bacon onion tart loaded with caramelized onions. Heirloom’s added strength is owner Matt Straus’ thoughtfully chosen wine lists covering wines from Lebanon to Spain.

2500 Folsom, SF. (415) 821-2500, www.heirloom-sf.com

 

FOR SENTIMENTAL GOURMANDS: SONS & DAUGHTERS

Like Commonwealth, Sons and Daughters is another opening where young, visionary chefs create fine molecular fare at reasonable prices ($48 for four-course prix fixe, à la carte from $9-$24). But this space particularly lends itself to romance: intimate, black and white, with shimmering chandeliers and youthful, European edge. Dishes are inventive and ambitious, like the highly acclaimed eucalyptus herb salad of delicate curds and whey over quinoa, or the seared foie gras accompanied by a glass of tart yogurt and Concord grape granita. It’s a place to hold hands and gaze into each other’s eyes while never neglecting your taste buds.

708 Bush St., SF. (415) 391-8311, www.sonsanddaughterssf.com

 

FOR NEW YORKER HEARTS: UNA PIZZA NAPOLETANA

Yes, this one’s casual, and you’ll have to wait outside in line. But if your sweetie has New York roots, she will thank you. Pizzaiolo Anthony Mangieri closed his beloved New York City institution, Una Pizza, and moved west. As in NYC, Una Pizza is a one-man show with Mangieri single-handedly crafting each pie (which partly explains the no take-out policy and long waits; popularity accounts for the rest). All this may make it hard to frequent Una Pizza, but if you make the commitment, you will be rewarded with doughy heaven. With only five vegetarian pies, I dream of the Filetti: cherry tomatoes soaking in buffalo mozzarella, accented by garlic, extra-virgin olive oil, basil, and sea salt. On the plus side: all that waiting in line for a hand-made pie will give you and your sweetie pie plenty of time to talk.

210 11th St., SF. (415) 861-3444, www.unapizza.com/sf

 

FOR AMORE ITALIANO: BARBACCO

True, Barbacco can get obnoxiously noisy and crowded. But it’s a good alternative to its parent restaurant, Perbacco, offering the same outstanding quality at a great value ($3-$14 per dish). For a bustling Italian enoteca-style date, this is the place. Heartwarming food and a thoughtful wine list make it an ideal urban trattoria and a comfortably affordable night out. Order a glass of Lambrusco, the fried brussels sprouts, and raisin and pine nut-accented pork meatballs in a tomato sugo, then marvel at the minimalist bill.

220 California, SF. (415) 955-1919, www.barbaccosf.com

 

FOR YOUR SWEETIE PIE: BAKER AND BANKER

With dark brown walls and booths, the space exudes a warm elegance. Husband and wife team Jeff Banker and Lori Baker get it right from start to finish with his dishes (vadouvan curry cauliflower soup, brioche-stuffed quail in a bourbon-maple glaze) and her memorable desserts (XXX triple dark chocolate layer cake, pumpkin cobbler with candied pumpkin seed ice cream). Extra points if you buy him a box of pastries to go for the next morning from Baker and Banker bakery next door.

1701 Octavia, SF. (415) 351-2500, www.bakerandbanker.com

Local tokens

Jesse Hawthorne Ficks
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Local tokens

V-DAY No need to go far for an anti-lame gift for the Feb. 14. C’mon hot child, live in the city — and snag your valentine a lil’ somethin’ from this list of SF-made gift ideas, sure to show your honey that you care about the local economy as well as that special something you guys have going on.

>> Rickshaw Bags’ precious Pipsqueak handlebar bag ($25) means an end to your valentine fumbling about in their messenger tote for Chapstick or a cell phone. Bike safety: so, so sexy.

Rickshaw Bags, 994 22nd St., SF; (877) 503-9542, www.rickshawbags.com

>> Your love’s got roots, but not without healthy soil. Get a pound of red wigglers ($20) for your favorite gardener from this vermi-composting stay-at-home-mom. Mama’s Worm Composting, available for pick-up in SF.

www.mamaswormcomposting.com

>> Blakely Bass, owner of RAG clothing gallery, makes Native American-inspired leather hair wraps ($15-20) with hides she buys at a SoMa tannery. Not only are the accessories uber local, but they’re beautiful and will be a hit with the long hairs who can’t be bothered with strands in their face.

RAG Residents’ Apparel Gallery, 541 Octavia, SF. (415) 621-7718, www.ragsf.com

>> Convinced your fates are intertwined? Have a batch of customized fortune cookies ($5 for a batch of 100) baked to reflect your bright future together, with a crunch. Same-day printing is available.

Golden Gate Fortune Cookies, 56 Ross, SF. (415) 781-3956

>> We get it: you wanna be original. But hey Juliet, sometimes the tested-and-true got to be that way for a reason, so spring for some chocolate. Sweeten ’em up with some Poco Dolce popcorn toffee squares ($16) — these ain’t your grandma’s box of brittle. Available in various SF grocery stores.

www.pocodolce.com

>> Your baby deserves a nice new ‘fit to step out in. We’re betting the sweet pleats dress ($110) from Noo Works — a chic company that sells its well-fitting, stylin’, yet casual clothes out of its Mission District storefront — will bring some spring to her strut.

Noo Works, 395 Valencia, SF. (415) 821-7623, www.nooworks.com

>> Blossom Organics Pure Pleasure Arousal Gel ($16) has amassed quite a following in the city — which shouldn’t come as a surprise. After all, if you can’t make a lube to light up San Franciscans’ x’s and o’s, then we’re going about it all wrong.

Good Vibrations, Various SF locations. www.goodvibes.com

>> No sk8r boy (or boi) is gonna coast off from a love note accompanied by these Spitfire skateboard wheels ($24 for four) — a V-Day gift like these says “I’ll never bolt my ledges.”

DLX Skateboards, 1831 Market, SF. (415) 626-5588, www.dlxsf.com

>> Kitty-cats and doggies need love too! Jeffery’s Natural Pet Foods stocks great options for your four-legged friend — the foods come in raw varieties that go easy on their fuzzy tummies.

Jeffery’s Natural Pet Foods, 3809 18th St., SF. (415) 864-1414 and 1841 Powell, SF. (415) 402-0342, www.jefferysnaturalpetfood.com

>> Zine-and-crafteria Needles and Pens has all sorts of SF-made goodies that look swell wrapped up in red construction paper. Try Matt Furie and Sam Gaskin’s recently released zine Hot Topik ($5) for your boo-boo who is into stoner humor or vinyl heart earrings made from repurposed records ($20) for LP lovers.

Needles and Pens, 3253 16th St., SF. (415) 255-1534, www.needles-pens.com

>> But enough of the hearts and kitty-cats — when do we get to the dead bug gifts? Local jeweler Bug Under Glass makes a surprisingly sweet butterfly wing necklace that’ll give your little love bug ants in their pants — in a good way. Available at various SF stores.

www.bugunderglass.com

>> SF-made fetish wear: a real turn-on for City by the Bay pervs. Hook her with the heartbreaker pasties from Madame S — encourage her to give them a test drive and hey howdy! Happy Valentine’s Day to you!

Madame S, 385 Eighth St., SF. (415) 863-7734, www.madame-s.com

Our Weekly Picks: February 9-15

Andrew Lam
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WEDNESDAY 9

MUSIC

Turisas

I recently heard Turisas described as “Disney metal.” So before you run screaming in the other direction, hear me out when I claim that it was actually a compliment. Spearheaded by singer-founder Mathias “Warlord” Nygard, the band plays folk metal so lushly orchestrated that it sounds like a movie score, full of trumpet swells and epic organs. Onstage, it features an accordionist and a violinist; the latter is responsible for all the soloing that would traditionally be done on guitar. Turisas’ 2007 release The Varangian Way is an engrossing concept album whose eight tracks follow a group of Scandinavian travelers as they make their way across Russia by river and end up in Constantinople. New platter Stand Up and Fight is due Feb. 23, but you can get a sneak preview at the show. (Ben Richardson)

With Cradle of Filth, Nachtmystium, Daniel Lioneye

8 p.m., $27

Regency Ballroom

1300 Van Ness, SF

1-800-745-3000

www.theregencyballroom.com

 

DANCE

Eonnagata

Eonnagata comes with pretty impressive credentials, and promises to be unique. The work is a collaboration between maverick ballerina Sylvie Guillem, who has made waves ever since she dared to quit the Paris Opera Ballet to freelance; multi-whiz Canadian director Robert Lepage, whose Ex Machina company has redefined theater for the last 20 years; and dancer-choreographer Russell Maliphant, who mixes ballet with yoga and everything in between. The trio created and performs in a work that examines the in-between state of male-female sexual identity. Inspired by an 18th century French noble, spy, and diplomat who fluidly switched genders throughout his career, Eonnataga also acknowledges a debt to the onnagatas, the refined male actors in Kabuki who spent their careers playing female characters. (Rita Felciano)

Wed/9–Thurs/10, 8 p.m., $36–$72

Zellerbach Hall

Bancroft at Telegraph,

UC Berkeley, Berk.

(510) 642-9988

www.calperformances.org

 

EVENT

“How to Write A Dynamic Online Dating Profile”

You’ve been on blind dates. You’ve tried speed dating. You’ve even have had your mother set you up. But you still can’t find love? Turn to cyberspace. (Don’t be embarrassed. According to those Match.com ads, one out of five relationships now begin online.) Take it from Carol Renee, a self-proclaimed “logophile,” English teacher, and aspiring novelist who found the love of her life using the handle “Fearlessly Compassionate.” She’ll hold your hand during the daunting tasks of coming up with a tantalizing user name, writing an attention-grabbing headline, and composing a succinct and yet true-to-life bio in this “how-to” class. (Jen Verzosa)

6:15 p.m., free

San Francisco Public Main Library

Latino/Hispanic Community Room B

100 Larkin, SF

www.sfpl.org

 

THURSDAY 10

MUSIC

Ensiferum

The Finnish metallers in Ensiferum span many styles, taking the best of everything they encompass. From folk metal, they learned the power of haunting, infectious melody and atmospheric texture. From thrash, they got the exultation and catharsis of breakneck tempos and relentless picking. And from power metal, they got the gleeful, empowering satisfaction that comes from singing about dudes with swords. The recent infatuation with Pagan stylings among American metalheads has brought the band stateside numerous times now, and Ensiferum never disappoints. Having donned their warrior garb, the five Finns who make up the band don’t leave the stage until everyone and everything is vanquished. (Richardson)

With Finntroll, Rotten Sound, Barren Earth

7:30 p.m., $25

DNA Lounge

375 11th St., SF

415-626-2532

www.dnalounge.com

 

EVENT

“Lusty Trusty Ball SF”

Not on the guest list for the annual Manus-Salzman Valentine’s Day Ball? No matter. Your photo won’t be gracing the pages of the Nob Hill Gazette or SF Luxe this time next week, but as least you don’t have to worry about breaking out the black tie. At the less-costly-but-no-less-classy Lusty Trusty Ball, in exchange for forgoing the ice sculptures, posh catered nosh, and a live gingerbread boy to nibble candy off of (he was holdin’ it down for Hasbro’s Candy Land in keeping with last year’s Manus-Salzman theme, “The Game of Love”) you’ll enjoy DJs, VJs, and live groups galore. Plus, with punk rock cabaret from the Can-Cannibals, Circus Finelli’s all-female antics, and Red Hots Burlesque, you can have a hot night without the haut monde. (Emily Appelbaum)

8:30 p.m., $10–$20

Submission

2183 Mission, SF

(415) 425-6137

www.sf-submission.com

 

EVENT

“Oilpocalypse Now”

Last April’s Gulf Coast-ravaging oil spill may have slipped from the headlines, but the region is still struggling to recover. “Oilpocalypse Now” takes aim at the corporations that cause (and cover up) environmental disasters — indeed, the event is subtitled “Time for a 28th Amendment for the Separation of Corporation and State” — featuring a talk by Dr. Riki Ott, a community activist and marine biologist. Ott will present the documentary Black Wave: The Legacy of the Exxon Valdez (remember that one? Big Oil hopes you don’t!) Other speakers include Lisa Gautier, who helped organize the “hair boom” effort to soak up Gulf Coast oil; former Guardian columnist Summer Burkes, who witnessed the Louisiana devastation first-hand, and more. Proceeds benefit the Gulf Coast Fund, Ultimate Civics, and the Coastal Heritage Society of Louisiana. (Cheryl Eddy)

7 p.m., $10–$20

Grand Lake Theater

3200 Grand Lake, Oakl.

(510) 452-3556

www.summerburkes.wordpress.com

http://communitycurrency.org/node/63

 

FRIDAY 11

DANCE

“Black Choreographers Festival: Here and Now”

For the next three weekends the “Black Choreographers Festival: Here and Now” throws the spotlight on the Bay Area’s African American voices. Now in its seventh year, the festival brings together professionals from a rainbow of perspectives on dance. If this were an ideal world, these choreographers would have their own companies and regular seasons. Some do — Raissa Simpson, Deborah Vaughan, Paco Gomes — but the festival offers all an opportunity to make themselves heard in the context of their colleagues. The Oakland lineup is different from the San Francisco one; the third weekend focuses on up-and-coming new talent. And as always, the youth ensembles at the family matinee will be a special high-energy treat. (Felciano)

Fri/11–Sat/12, 8 p.m.;

Sun/13, 4 p.m., $10–$20

Laney College

900 Fallon, Oakl.

Feb. 17–19, 8pm; Feb. 20, 7 p.m.

ODC Theater

3153 17th St., SF

Feb. 25–26, 8 p.m.; Feb. 27, 7 p.m.

Dance Mission Theater

3316 24th St., SF

1-888-819-9106

www.bcfhereandnow.com


PERFORMANCE

You’re Gonna Cry

Where better than 24th Street to watch a solo show about the real lives of Mission District residents at the height of gentrification? Touching on everyone from the techies and bohemians to the Latino locals and immigrants, HBO Def Poet and Youth Speaks cofounder Paul S. Flores performs his theatrical work about the human cost of gentrification in the neighborhood. In addition to masterful storytelling, get ready for a gangster puppet show and digital murals, illuminating the changes brought by the dot-com boom and bust, real estate bubble, immigration, and forced evictions. The Mission is loaded with characters and Flores’s dynamic fusion of urban culture and spoken word brings them all to life. (Julie Potter)

Fri/11–Sat/12, 8 p.m., $15

Dance Mission Theater

3316 24th St., SF

(415) 273-4633

www.dancemission.com

 

EVENT

California International Antiquarian Book Fair

Ever wonder what ephemera left by our generation will be pored over in a millennium or two? Parking slips, band posters, books like Lady Isabella’s Scandalous Marriage and 1001 Deductions and Tax Breaks, 2011? Whatever the items, they’ll surely be found at the 1000th annual California International Antiquarian Book Fair. The festival, now only in its 44th year, tempts bibliophiles with a menagerie of historical snippets and antique selections. The perusables include musical prints and manuscripts, rare codices, antique children’s literature, fine bindings, maps, trade books, miscellaneous historical scraps, and — vocabulary word — “incunabula,” which are books, pamphlets, or broadsheets printed (not handwritten) in Europe before 1501. A trove of timeworn tomes? Simply splendid! (Appelbaum)

Fri/11, 3–8 p.m.; Sat/12, 11 a.m.–7 p.m.;

Sun/13. 11 a.m.–5 p.m., $10–$15

Concourse Exhibition Center

635 Eighth St., SF

(415) 551-5190

www.labookfair.com


SATURDAY 12

DANCE

Company C Contemporary Ballet

With a sampling of contemporary ballet from choreographers active across North America and Europe, Company C’s mixed-bill winter program includes a premiere set to the music of Elvis Costello by Artistic Director Charles Anderson in collaboration with Benjamin Bowman (both formerly of the New York City Ballet), and another by Maurice Causey, a former principal of William Forsythe’s Ballet Frankfurt. Also appearing from the diverse repertory of this vibrant company is Tovernon, a solo work by David Anderson, the father of Charles Anderson, and Daniel Ezralow’s Pulse, during which dancers take running starts to slide across stage wearing socks. (Potter)

Sat/12, 8 p.m.; Sun/13, 2 p.m., $18–$40

Yerba Buena Center for the Arts

701 Mission, SF

(415) 978-2787

www.companycballet.org

 

EVENT

“Woo At The Zoo”

Want to make things a bit more “wild” this year for Valentine’s Day? Then head on over to the San Francisco Zoo for “Woo At The Zoo,” the annual event that’s become a favorite activity for amorous humans looking to learn a bit more about our animal pals’ own mating habits and sexual behaviors. Make plans soon with your sweetheart for this special multimedia event that also includes a romantic brunch or dinner, along with drinks. Admit it — you’re already humming the words to the Bloodhound Gang’s “Discovery Channel” song, aren’t you? “You and me baby we ain’t nothing but mammals, so let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!” (Sean McCourt)

Sat/12-Sun/13, 6 p.m.;

Also Sun/13, 11 a.m., $65–$75

San Francisco Zoo

One Zoo Road, SF

(415) 753-7080, ext. 7236

www.sfzoo.org

 

SUNDAY 13

MUSIC

High on Fire

How rad would it be to have an all-chick High on Fire tribute band called Pie on Fire? Though, yeah, that could go either way — hot cherry deliciousness or the evil feeling that makes your girlfriend chug sour pints of cranberry juice. And pulling off (literally) the shreddiness of Riffchild caliber is probably not gonna happen in this lifetime. In any case, join the real trio for a special one-off hometown show before they head out to tour New Zealand and beyond. An honorable way to ring in the annual holiday of love and lust, no? (Kat Renz)

8 p.m., $18

Slim’s

333 11th St., SF

(415) 255-0333

www.slims-sf.com

 

The Guardian listings deadline is two weeks prior to our Wednesday publication date. To submit an item for consideration, please include the title of the event, a brief description of the event, date and time, venue name, street address (listing cross streets only isn’t sufficient), city, telephone number readers can call for more information, telephone number for media, and admission costs. Send information to Listings, the Guardian Building, 135 Mississippi St., SF, CA 94107; fax to (415) 487-2506; or e-mail (paste press release into e-mail body — no text attachments, please) to listings@sfbg.com. Digital photos may be submitted in jpeg format; the image must be at least 240 dpi and four inches by six inches in size. We regret we cannot accept listings over the phone.

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