I’m not good at holidays. When your world is made of deadlines, the holidays are just one more — gotta get the kids presents, gotta get the tree, gotta make plans, gotta do dinner … one more set of hassles. Bah humbug.
And I’ve never been a big fan of New Year’s Eve. Too many people acting like they’ve never been drunk before and will never be drunk again, and everything costs too much. I drink every day; I can miss New Year’s Eve. Party pooper.
So I don’t do my own new year’s resolutions; I do them for other people. This is what I would like everyone else to do in 2012:
I would like the Occupy organizers to put together a massive day of teach-ins and a march on Washington in the spring, to keep the movement alive and bring in a lot more people.
I would like my fellow dog owners to pick up the shit off the sidewalks.
I would like the Department of Parking and Traffic to put up No Left Turn signs on 16th Street at Potrero and Bryant.
I would like Visconti to lower the price on that really cool lava fountain pen.
I would like the transportation whizzes at City Hall to figure out how to put bike lanes on Oak Street so I can ride back from Golden Gate Park as safely as I can ride to the park.
I would like the supervisors to change the rules for Question Time so the mayor doesn’t get all the questions in advance and there’s a chance for real discussion that isn’t stupid and boring.
I would like middle school English teachers in San Francisco to explain to their students that homeless people are not “hobos.”
I would like the Obama Administration to quit hassling pot dispensaries.
I would like the airlines to start serving cocktails before takeoff.
I would like the thriller writers of America to learn how to write decent sex scenes.
I would like Jerry Brown to endorse the initiative to outlaw the death penalty.
I would like everyone in politics to stop saying the words “together” and “shared” since we aren’t together and I don’t want to share with the rich.
Anything else? Happy New Year.