Election wraps, sucka

By G.W. Schulz

Ahhhhh, yes. Another energy draining election night for the Bay Guardian, as many of our former reporters can fondly remember. Run across the city to three or more parties, squeeze through the crowds, pray no one spills wine down your back, bug the candidate for a comment, watch supporters anxiously stand around and wonder if the night’s going to end in a drunken disappointment, track down a payphone in the bathroom (as I did at Momo’s for Rob Black’s party – I gave up my cell phone months ago), and hope a few friends will be at the bar when you finish things up.

Then, after all of that, beg the gods not to let some dipshit who hates the 1st Amendment bring down the Guardian’s Web site as our staffers are trying to post new material on the blog. We were attacked, but it didn’t work, so whoever you are, you’ll just have to start your own newspaper. Poor baby.

First things first. THE INFAMOUSLY CONSERVATIVE SEN. RICK SANTORUM LOST HIS REELCTION BID! And you have the beloved Dan Savage of The Stranger to thank, at least in part. Thank you, blessed Dan. Of course, Savage has posted what is frankly a very fucking funny caption contest on The Stranger’s staff blog. But Wonkette gets credit for catching another very hilarious photo. Not enough? Go here. Many of you likely remember Dan inviting readers awhile back to identify a sexual substance that deserves the title “Santorum.”