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Standin’ pretty

› le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com CHEAP EATS Another weekend away, playing unlikely gigs in unheard of places, like Oregon and Idaho. This time: a punch-and-cookie country dance party down at the elementary school, a train depot, and a...

Body talks

› le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com CHEAP EATS The chicken farmer has a high tolerance for surreality ... Woke up on a strange couch with a strange cat on my arm that was not Weirdo the Cat. It was a...

She doth protest

› le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com CHEAP EATS It was Pride month so I was proud. In my own small chicken farmerly way, I celebrated the T and the B — mostly by lying in my hammock, looking at...

Lick your pronouns

> le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com CHEAP EATS Years ago when I haunted the other edge of this continent I lived in a chickenless shack under the bridge between New Hampshire and Maine. Me and Bikkets kept our bed...

Twain shall meatless

› le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com CHEAP EATS You're probably tired of hearing about my dehumidifier. What? No? You can't get enough of it? Well that's great because it's kind of like my curse, or part of...

Cloud 8

› le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com CHEAP EATS I had pretty much settled on spending a quiet night at home with a big bowl of popcorn and my new dehumidifier, but then I accidentally called...

Play it again

› le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com CHEAP EATS I was sitting outside in the bathtub with a barbecued pork rib in one hand and a jar of wine in the other, watching the sun go down through...

No way of knowing

› le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com CHEAP EATS I was sick. I couldn't get out of bed, and I couldn't sleep either. If I tried to talk on the phone, I sounded like Don Corleone smoking helium....

Into the ether

› le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com CHEAP EATS My first two girlfriends were boys. My next three were girls. My wife was a crustacean, and it's hard to tell with crustaceans. Crawdad and I have been divorced...

Dumpling drifter

› le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com CHEAP EATS Me and Wayway went to the store and bought 67 chicken wings, a carton of buttermilk, and a big bottle of oil. Then we went out to eat. I...

Virtual sausage

› le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.comCHEAP EATS Sometimes it's almost too much. You're driving home in the middle of the night, country roads, nothing but static on the radio, sky full of stars stretched out before you, big...

Tossing the bone

› le_chicken_farmer@yahoo.com CHEAP EATS Crawdad de la Cooter has a new squeeze. I called him up and said, "Hey, man, let's go eat, huh? You hungry?" And he said what anyone...

Intelligence

CHEAP EATS "Did you hear about the barn swallows in Minnesota?" Earl Butter said, while we were waiting for our waffles. "This reminds me," I replied. "This idea that there are more alive people...

Regis lives

CHEAP EATS "Show me a sane man," Jung said, "and I will cure him for you." I saw this on a billboard on Turk Street, I think, but I didn't catch...

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Ah, Sprrr-ing!

Paige two

I WAS TURNED  on to my new favorite restaurant, Jodie's, by Satchel Paige the Pitcher's dad, Mr. Paige the Pitcher. Indirectly. Mr. Paige the Pitcher ate there with a friend, and then raved about...