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Alt.sex.column

All tied up

Dear Andrea:I'm from the Netherlands and stumbled on a Guardian column yours in which you say: "I don't believe you can get 'addicted' to silk scarves and stilettos." This struck me because I have...

alt.sex.column: A good fit

Dear Andrea:I want to have anal sex with my boyfriend. I read that you can wear a butt plug beforehand to prepare. True?Love,WillingDear Will:Good grief. What do you think people did before the advent...

alt.sex.column: My sibling’s keeper

Dear Andrea:I'm having a problem with my brother. He wants to become a priest, and even though I want to be happy for him I cannot help but worry because in high school he...

alt.sex.column: New is as new does

Dear Andrea:We have been happily married five years and I think we're kind of out of ideas for new things to do. I think we're in a rut, and the weird thing is we're...

alt.sex.column: Mixed marriage

Dear Readers:I was halfway through an answer to a reader's very interesting question when said reader wrote back and asked me not to. Instead we're discussing fetishes and how they do or don't mesh...

alt.sex.column: Special goop

Dear Andrea:Have you seen those commercial for the new K-Y product, with all the geysers going off and so on? They're funny, but does the product work — and why? I have orgasms, but...

alt.sex.column: Vanilla Shake

Dear Andrea:My husband and I are in our early 40s. We have been together 15 years and married for nine. We have sex about once a week, which is all we can manage with...

Oy-urveda

Dear Readers: This week's letter of greatest interest, a well-composed rant against my supposed blind devotion to Western medicine, ignorance of same, and lack of understanding of the holistic approach to complaints such as hyposexual...

At your cervix

Dear Andrea: As long as I can remember, I've had a fascination with gyno play and playing doctor. I've grown more and more interested in the idea of cervical dilation/cervical insertions, but have been...

alt.sex.column: Don’t care

Dear Andrea:I'm 41 and finally starting to wonder why sex has never been as big a deal for me as it seems to be for most people. Early on in a relationship it's pretty...

alt.sex.column: Clip show

Dear Readers:Nah, I'm not really going to saddle you with a "clips" column — that would be cheesy. But I do happen to have a bunch of interestingish non-question stuff from my inbox, so...

alt.sex.column: Eek! Eels in my …

Dear Andrea:My girlfriend asked me to demonstrate my most unorthodox masturbation techniques, and one of my inventions is the Fly on the Island. Catch a small, lively fly. Carefully remove the wings and put...

alt.sex.column: In and Out

Dear Readers:I was watching a Buffy rerun recently when the trailer for the new movie Splice came on, and I startled myself yelling "No, no, not again!" at the TV. Some misfire-prone synapse or...

Slow man

Dear Andrea:My male friend ( I'm a woman) and I have been together on and off for a little over a year. The problem is, it takes him a very long time to ejaculate....

alt.sex.column: I deserve a buzz

Dear Andrea:How is it humanly possible that I, a 42 year old man, talented, accomplished, tall, and fit, cannot get laid to save his life? I have gone out on literally hundreds of dates,...

alt.sex.column: Rubber soul

Dear Andrea:I have memories from early childhood onward of masturbating. (I'm a woman.) I'm talking when I was four years old or possibly even younger. I remember doing it in public too, like in...

alt.sex.column: No sex, please — we’re 40

Dear Andrea:I'm 46 and seeking a hetro/bi woman my age who is authentically interested in a sexual relationship. I've heard many middle-aged women openly proclaim that they "don't care about sex." Since then, I've heard similar from...

alt.sex.column: The family that plays together

Dear Andrea:This summer different members of my family will be going in together on big a beach house. There's just one thing. "Heather" used to be married to my cousin, but after they split...

alt.sex.column: Dizzy spell

Dear Andrea:You've written occasionally about infatuation, but is it really such a bad thing? It has driven even logical, structure-loving me to be romantic and loopy. But isn't it based on genuine attraction? Is...

alt.sex.column: Maresy dotes

Dear Andrea:It's spring! Even though I live in California, it's exciting when spring comes. I mean literally exciting, as in, it makes me horny. All winter I was like "Eh, dating" and now I'm...

alt.sex.column: Oh, grow up!

Dear Andrea:My really sweet, nice new boyfriend is into S–M and I'm not sure I even understand the attraction. I can get behind the sensation aspect but I have some moral and feminist objections....

alt.sex.column: Ti-ming

Dear Andrea:My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and we have always had the same issue. It takes a long time for him to come, whether I am performing oral sex...

Urethra, frankly

Dear Andrea:I have always had an interest in inserting thin objects into my urethra, and now manage a large-diameter pencil. It really feels thrilling, and depending on the mood, I tend to orgasm. My...

Urethra, frankly

andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com Dear Andrea: I have always had an interest in inserting thin objects into my urethra, and now manage a large-diameter pencil. It really feels thrilling, and depending on the mood, I tend to orgasm. My...