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Alt.sex.column

Sexual evolution

alt.sex.column says so long -- and thanks for all the fish

Obstructions abound

Dear Andrea:My wife and I are both about 41 and have been married 10 years. Our marriage has been satisfying except in one big area: intercourse has become impossible, owing (I suspect)to my wife's...

alt.sex.column: Not the gerbil!

Dear Andrea:I was wondering, is gerbil-stuffing for real, or just made up?Love,Hadda AskDear Hadda:I've been expecting this question and am willing to accept it as a sort of occupational hazard. Anal insertion of gerbils...

alt.sex.column: Positive too negative?

Dear Andrea:I'm having a problem with my girlfriend. "Grace" is the hottest girl I've ever dated, but things aren't going so well. She is possessive and gets mad at me for wanting to do...

alt.sex.column: Positive too negative?

Dear Andrea:I'm a 40-something M2F transsexual woman (though my gender status isn't that important). I recently met a great guy I'll call John and I've developed feelings for him. I'd jump his bones in...

Need a shrink?

Dear Andrea:Due to a prostate operation, my penis is quite small and I cannot get a proper erection. Will the Fleshlight work for me?Love,Shrinky DinkDear Shrink:First off, allow me to apologize for the terrible...

Anticlimax

Dear Andrea:I'm living with my first "serious" girlfriend and everything is great except the sex. As far as I can tell, she is having orgasms but I'm not. When we have sex I have...

alt.sex.column: Once bi-tten

Some second thoughts on bisexual advice

alt.sex.column: Fine bi me

"Is it OK to tell people, or should I just shut up?"

Flipping out

Dear Readers:I get a lot of press releases and ignore them unless they're for books, kid stuff, or sex toys. But I have been remiss on one count: I have not solicited any samples...

alt.sex.column: Flash dance

Dear Readers:In the high and far off times, there were these smeary newsprint tabloid "lifestyle" papers that had a few columns in the front and then the rest was nothing but tiny, poorly-printed personals...

alt.sex.column: Get fit

Dear Readers:The subject of size-discordant couples is a perennial favorite and will only get more so until such time as we Americans fulfill our apparent destiny and become a nation of like-size giants in...

alt.sex.column: Resolved

Dear Readers:I'm pretty sure last year's New Year's resolution was to get a New Year's resolution column in on time. So that one's out, but there is still time for me, and, more important,...

alt.sex.column: N-O

Dear Readers:For weeks I've been trying to say something about Julian Assange and certain people's eagerness to believe him yet somehow even eagerer eagerness to believe horrible things about his accusers, but I keep...

alt.sex.column: V-ball

Dear Andrea:I've always fantasized about girls kicking me in the balls. I have always secretly desired it, especially women or girls wearing sexy boots. I have always had a thrill for women dominating men....

alt.sex.column: Chimps R Us

Dear Readers:When our kids were first identified, at four months or so, as a girl and a boy, we were thrilled. We also immediately launched into a series of jokes about always having a...

alt.sex.column: Mismatch

Dear Andrea:My boyfriend has a fetish which, initially, is pretty off-putting. All the advice says to just go with it and make it part of our sex life, which I have done. But it...

alt.sex.column: Squirmy

Dear Andrea:I have a weird question. I have been with my boyfriend for two years and our sex life was great until recently. But I have started to get really ticklish when he touches...

alt.sex.column: Bay watch

Dear Andrea:Our children are grown and it's just us now, so my wife and I started to indulge in a nude lifestyle here in South Florida. We go to a secluded beach and our...

alt.sex.column: The fandango

Dear Andrea:I am a 38-year-old man who doesn't have regular sexual partners (basically my whole life) and as a result am a chronic masturbator. Unfortunately, it seems lately when I am in a sexual...

alt.sex.column: Wham bam

Dear Andrea,I'm almost 40 and a newlywed. I was a virgin! Unfortunately, sex has not been good for me. His heart races, he sweats. Me? Nothing. No pleasure, no excitement, nothing! I WANT SOME...

alt.sex.column: Love stinks

andrea@altsexcolumn.comDear Andrea:I am newly pregnant and confused. I'm wondering about "pregnancy nose" and why all of a sudden my husband smells so bad to me. I have subtly hinted that he should take a...

alt.sex.column: Straitlaced

Dear Readers: We were lately discussing objects and outfits that make you feel sexier and more attractive, as opposed to fetish items, inanimate stuff you're attracted to. I don't have too much faith in the...

Understory

Dear Andrea:We've been trying to sex up our sex life (we have been married 10 years and yes, things can get a little boring) and among other things I went to Victoria's Secret and...